I Can't Go Home Like This

14,523 words

I Can’t Go Home Like This
by C. Sprite
© 1999

Draft - (will comprise Chapters 66 – 70 when completed)

I turned to look at Cole, shock clearly registered on my face, while Cole's mum giggled like a schoolgirl.
"There, there, dear," the older woman said gently to me. "Don't pay him no never mind. He likes to do that to me; thinks it shocks me– but I'm quite used to it by now. He don't mean a thing by it."
"No, I do mean it, mum," Cole said strongly. "I'm going to marry Crystal."
"Cole," I said, "it's customary to wait until a girl says yes before making such announcements."
"What does that mean?" he said, as if refusal was inconceivable. "You don't want to marry me?"
"You haven't even asked me yet, but if you had, I would have told you that I'm not interested in getting married right now. Not to you, not to anyone."
"But that's not a no, right? I'm patient. I can wait until you're ready. What do you think? Six months, a year maybe?"
"Cole, I'm not ready for marriage and I don't know when I will be. Maybe in five or six years when my career slows down I'll begin to think about it."
"Five years?"
"Maybe even ten."
"Ten– years?"
"Maybe twenty."
"Now Cole," his mum said, "don't pressure the poor girl. She'll know when she's ready. I think she's wise not to go rushing into something like that. Come out to the terrace, dear," she said, taking my arm, "I just made a fresh pot of tea, and you can tell me all about yourself while we have a cup. You're a Yank, aren't you?"
"Uh yes, I am."
I allowed Cole's mother to lead me through the house and out onto a rear terrace that overlooked a beautiful garden, filled with flowerbeds in full blossom. Leading me to a large circular wrought iron table with a glass top, she put her hand on the back of a chair. "You just have a seat here while I get the tea."
I started to pull the chair out as she walked away but Cole stopped me. "Allow me," he said, pulling the chair out as I removed my hands.
I looked at him for a couple of seconds, then sat down. "Why did you say you wanted to marry me? We haven't had that type of relationship."
"I've fallen in love with you," he said from behind me. Putting his hands on my shoulders gently, he added, "You're not like most girls I've known. I don't know what it is, but I know that you're special. I love being with you, talking to you, holding you, and— kissing you." He bent and kissed the side of my neck below my right ear after pulling my hair aside.
Cole's mum came out of the house carrying a tray with cups and a teapot, and, seeing him bent over me, said, "Cole, you stop mauling the poor girl and take your seat."
Cole obediently moved to the seat across from mine and sat down, his mum sitting down between us. After serving the tea, she said to me, "How long have you two known one another?"
"I guess that it's been about four and a half years," I said. "We met when we worked together on 'A Promise of Spring' in New York."
"Oh, yes, I simply loved that movie. Cole was simply wonderful in it."
"Yes, he was. I very much enjoyed working with him in New York. It was my first movie role, you know. I'd only done television and stage work before that."
"And now you're a big movie star. Every few months your picture is in all the entertainment magazines."
"When they're promoting a new picture that's about to be released, they really ratchet up the publicity campaigns. They have me running around doing all kinds of interviews and such for weeks."
"How do you like Cole's new flick, the one you're working on now?"
"It's been great fun so far. I think that it'll do well when it's released."
"I know Cole's excited about it. Both about the film and having you work with him again."
"It's been wonderful working together again. Time seems to fly so quickly during the day that it hardly seems possible we've been at it for more than a month already. Before we know it, the picture will be over, and I'll have to move to my next set."
"You have another picture scheduled already?"
"Yes. As soon as I'm done here, I have to return to the East Coast of the states. I'll be making a period movie in Virginia."
"What kind of movie, dear; a period movie?" Cole's mum asked.
"A romantic drama set in Victorian times."
"Any nudity?" Cole asked.
"Cole!" his mum said sharply.
"No, Cole," I said scornfully, "no nudity— at least not really. There's one scene where I'm to be topless, but I have to use my arm to cover myself and protect the movie's rating."
"Topless?" Cole said, suddenly more interested. "Really?"
I nodded. "You won't see any more than you'd see if I was wearing a bikini. Probably much less since the bathing suit material doesn't really conceal anything except the appearance of the skin. You'll see more skin in the last movie I made and the rating is supposed to be PG."
"I'm surprised that you're doing that."
"It's nothing. It's not a porn movie or anything. And there's just the one scene."
"It just doesn't fit in with your screen image. You've always played wholesome characters."
"Not exactly. My character in the two Open Spaces movies weren't very wholesome. In fact, in one of the movie scenes, another character describes her as being 'a little bitch'. And even wholesome adolescents have active sex lives when they reach adulthood. I'm not going to exhibit mine on screen, but it's okay to suggest it, as long as it's done in good taste."
I knew that Cole was dying to say something more on the topic of my having sex, but he held his tongue because his mum was there.
"Would you like another cup, dear?" his mum asked.
"No, thank you, Mrs. Griffith."
"Oh, my name's not Griffith. I'm a Potts. Mabel Potts."
"Oh. I'm sorry. I thought that you were Cole's mother because he calls you mum."
"I am his mum. He's a Potts too. He didn't think that Dickie Potts sounded professional enough, so he changed his name to Cole Griffith. He even insisted that I move out of my flat in Liverpool and into this fancy house of his. It is pretty up here though, and I have a garden to care for. What was your name before you became Crystal Ramsey?"
I hesitated for just a second. "Ramsey is my real name. I didn't change it because I didn't set out to become a movie star. It just sort of– happened, so I'm still using the name on my birth certificate. I guess that it would be too late to change it now."
"Heavens, why would you want to? It's a perfectly lovely name. And probably everyone in the world has heard of you."
"That would be the only reason for changing it, because everyone in the world might have heard of me. Sometimes I think I'd like to be a nobody again."
"No, you wouldn't," Cole said. "A few years ago I was on top of the world. Not as high as you are now, but my country's a tad bit smaller than the U.S. After a few bad pictures, I was beginning to think that I couldn't get arrested. Directors and producers wouldn't take my calls, and if my agent wasn't getting his cut, I don't think that he would've talked to me either. Believe me, it's better being on top of the world. I think this picture is going to put me back there again. Just the publicity that we've had so far has made a difference. I'm starting to get calls from producers and directors again."
"I'm happy for you, Cole. I could use a little less celebrity though. I act because I enjoy it, not because of the fame, but I have to admit that the great parts I get are probably attributable to my name. Bigger box office and all that."
"You don't know how important it is until you lose it. You told me that you want to take some time off? Well, just don't stay away too long. The fans forget your name pretty fast."
*****
For dinner Cole's mum made a pot roast that rivaled one of Mrs. McGuire's meals and we stayed at the house until well after dark. As we left, I thanked her for welcoming me to her home and she told me to come up again anytime.
I invited Cole to come in when we got back to my house, but he declined. I guess he knew it would be awkward to kiss me in front of the family, so I stayed with him in the car for a while. When he started to get a little too amorous, I slowly disentangled myself and said goodnight. He reluctantly let me loose, but asked if he could take me out again tomorrow before releasing my hand.
"I can't. I've already told my family I'd go with them tomorrow. They're going to visit some historic sites. Would you like to join us?"
"Uh, no thanks. I get restless on tours, and bored hearing about people that have been dead for hundreds of years."
"Okay, then I guess that I'll see you on the set Monday."
"Right, love. See you then." Cole exacted one additional quick kiss before he'd let me go.
*****
Sunday was a lovely day and we enjoyed our outing and the tours. I knew that these outings together would become more and more rare over the next few years. Carol would start work very soon, and once she met that certain special person, we'd have less and less time together. Such is life.
*****
Monday was a long day. The first day back after the weekend always seems so much longer than the rest, and Cole began to act more and more like a newlywed husband on the set, entirely understandable during shooting, but he carried it over after the cameras stopped rolling. I decided that I needed to cool his jets a little, without appearing to because I didn't want the movie to suffer, so I started hiding a little between takes, but not so much that it was obvious, and I still had to remain available for when I was needed in a scene.
*****
We finally wrapped up the shooting at the studio after three months of hard work and prepared to leave for the continent to begin the location work. For weeks I had used one excuse after another to avoid going out with Cole on the weekends, but he was persistent and never stopped asking me to go out to clubs or at least to go for another visit to see his mum. I kept telling him that I was too tired from the grueling shooting schedule. He seemed to buy that because we were all exhausted, and you could see the strain in everyone's face. The schedule had slipped quite a bit and we had pushed extra hard to get everything finished before we were scheduled to leave during the first week of September.
Mrs. McGuire had had a lot of time to visit with her sister and other relatives while we were in England, and I know that she had enjoyed our time there the most.
*****
The next month was the more(most) grueling yet. The weather refused to co-operate, and when we did get a sunny day, we rushed to get as much done as possible before we lost the sun. We didn't need cloudless weather for the night shooting, but it couldn't be raining either. If part of a scene had been shot with dry streets, the streets in the rest of the scene, such as for the close-ups, had to be dry as well. You could only do so much with camera angles, depth of field, and creative editing.
Mom, Carol, and Aunt Jess had ample opportunities to sightsee and enjoy their time while we traveled around Europe. The company was working a seven-day week now, taking our rest on rainy days when we couldn't shoot.
For me, one of the most interesting aspects of the location shooting was the people that I had an opportunity to meet. We shot at a few lavish private homes where I was introduced to the owners and their families. I'd had no idea that there was still so much titled nobility in the democratic countries of Europe. It began to seem like everyone I met was either Baron this or Lady that.
*****
Despite the weather problems, we only ran over schedule by a week. I had begun to worry that we'd still be shooting when the movie on the East Coast began shooting on October 11th. I had expected to have a full week off in between movies, but I guess it wasn't to be.
On the last day of shooting, Cole asked me to go out with him the next day. We would be leaving in two days, and this might be the last time I'd see him for a while, so I reluctantly agreed. But I only agreed to spend the afternoon with him because we were leaving the day after that and I didn't want to be out too late. I felt that perhaps I'd be able to show him that his infatuation with me wasn't the eternal love that he seemed to feel it was.
That evening, we attended a cast party at the hotel where we were staying. Most of the minor cast members hadn't traveled with us for the location shooting because they weren't in the scenes, but those of us that were left had a good time. We had an opportunity to say good-bye and wish each other good luck as we followed our dreams in the crazy world of movie-making and professional acting. I didn't say anything about the feelings that I'd been having lately about having reached the pinnacle of success in this profession. To me it seemed like the only way to go was down.
*****
Cole picked me up at eleven in the morning and we drove off in his rented Ferrari to see the sights of Rome, the final locale of shooting for the movie. Cole had obviously been to the city of three and a half million before, because he knew where he was going, and he gave me an excellent tour of the city. I didn't get the historical information that I would have received on a tour bus, but I got to see a lot more in our limited time as we zipped around the crowded city.
Stopping at two o'clock to have lunch at a small outdoor restaurant, we shared a bottle of wine. He wanted to order a second bottle, but I told him that I'd leave in a taxi if he did. He had drunk most of the first bottle and I wouldn't have gotten into the car again if he had any more. Deciding to forego the wine, he paid the bill so we could leave and continue our travel within the city. We spent the rest of the afternoon walking around the Forum, the heart of ancient Rome, but returned to the car later on to visit the Trevi Fountain. Cole said that no trip to Rome was complete unless you visited this fountain and threw a coin in. He gave me a coin to toss and then had me turn my back while he did likewise. Together, we tossed the coins over our shoulders, insuring, according to legend, that we'd one day return to the Eternal City.
After the coin toss, Cole said the final step to insuring our return was a kiss. I hadn't heard anything about that part of the legend, but I let him kiss me anyway because we'd had such a nice day. As we parted, Cole took my left hand.
"I've had a great time today."
"Me too. It's been a lot of fun. Thanks for showing me the city. I didn't think that I'd get a chance to see it before we had to leave tomorrow."
"It's been my pleasure. I mean that." Cole paused to take a deep breath. "You told me a couple of months ago that I should ask you before making any announcements, so I'm asking you now if you'll be my wife?" He reached into his pocket and produced a small box. Flipping open the lid, he showed me that it contained an engagement ring.
I took a deep breath also. "Cole, I do like you, and I consider you a great friend, but I'm not ready to even consider marriage. I expect it to be years before I'm ready for such a monumental step."
"I can wait. We won't tie the knot until you say you're ready."
"It wouldn't be fair to tie you down for years, waiting for me to be ready. In time you'd come to resent my keeping you waiting, and you might feel the urge to find other female company. Then you'd feel guilty, and resent me all the more. Enjoy your freedom without the restriction of being engaged. In time, if you still feel the same when I'm ready, perhaps we'll get together. But I'd hate to lose you as a friend because you felt I was taking too long to settle down."
Cole looked at me and flipped the cover of the box closed. "I was afraid you'd say something like that, but I had to try."
"And I'm honored that you chose me. I'll cherish this moment forever."
Cole smiled. "Perhaps your answer will be different the next time that we meet at this fountain. The coins mean that we'll return together one day."
"I'll look forward to it," I said smiling.
*****
We left Rome early the next morning. I had said my good-byes to Cole after returning to the hotel from our day of touring. He wanted me to go out with him that evening, but I still had to pack and then get up early to catch my flight, so I begged off. He had kept me at the door to my suite for more than a half-hour, smothering me with kisses. I knew that he wanted to be invited in, but that wasn't going to happen, and he finally left after we were interrupted by a group of elderly people who made several loud comments about "disgusting behavior". I giggled at the comments but Cole was quite upset, and I had to stop him from responding to the group. It doesn't pay to make a scene and get the hotel staff, security, or possibly even the police, involved.
While Mom, Carol, and Aunt Jess headed to Los Angeles and home, Mrs. McGuire, Des, and I headed for Washington, on our way to the new movie location. Rather than changing planes in Washington, and spending hours waiting for the connection to a small airport, the studio had arranged for a limo to pick us up and take us to the location in Virginia. It was a beautiful day and the ride was pleasant. I dozed for the most part, having been worn out by the long plane ride. Long plane trips always make me sleepy.
The studio had rented a very nice house, near the set, for my stay in Virginia. We would shoot all the exterior shots here, and then move to Georgia where a lot of the interior work was to be shot in a studio. I supposed that a full interior set, matching that of the house in Virginia where we shot the exterior scenes, was already well into the construction phase, if not already completed.
I planned to use the first day back in the States to relax and get myself in sync with the time zone after being on European times for the past months.
*****
By Tuesday I was feeling rested and even a little bored. I still had five days before reporting to the new movie set, so I decided to take a trip up to New York City. Mrs. McGuire would remain behind, but Des would travel with me. I had been thinking about this trip for some time and now that I had made the decision to go, I could hardly suppress my enthusiasm. I told Des to pack enough clothes for a four-day stay.
We went to the airport right after dinner and took a shuttle flight to LaGuardia Airport, where another limo was waiting. By ten o'clock we were checked into our rooms at the Plaza.
*****
I had gone to sleep early, so I was up early the next morning. I wanted to look extra nice, so I spent a lot of time preparing myself before ordering a light breakfast that I only picked at. I was too nervous to eat.
At nine o'clock, I called Des and we met at the elevator. The doorman summoned a cab and Des told the turbaned driver to take us to The Actor's Training Stage Academy.
After Des had paid the driver and we had entered the building, we encountered a security guard who directed us to the office, while eyeing me suspiciously. Perhaps he was trying to remember if my face looked so familiar because he had seen it on a wanted poster somewhere.
The woman at the counter in the office recognized me immediately and made a fuss that drew everyone within earshot, including the school administrator. After signing autographs for everyone I was finally able to tell them that I had come to see Mr. Tucker. The school administrator, Mr. Dodd, offered to take me personally. I tried to tell him that it wasn't necessary, but he insisted.
With Des following, I walked with Mr. Dodd to a small theatre on the second floor where Mr. Tucker was teaching class. I told Mr. Dodd that I wished to surprise Mr. Tucker, so he took us through a back stage entrance. We walked quietly through the backstage area, remaining in the shadows, but I could see the class in session. Mr. Tucker was sitting on the front edge of the stage, center-stage, with his feet resting on a wide set of steps that led down to the audience seating where the class was sitting in rapt attention.
We stood there listening for a couple of minutes as Mr. Tucker held the class spell-bound with a rendition of the final soliloquy from Hamlet.
"How all occasions do inform against me,
And spur my dull revenge! What is a man,
If his chief good and market of his time
Be but to sleep and feed? a beast, no more."
Completing the performance, he reached for his coffee cup to lubricate his parched throat, but found the cup empty.
"I wonder if someone wouldn't mind refilling my cup from the pot on Stage Left."
Several students started to rise, but a girl in the front row was quickest. She hurried forward in quick mincing steps, climbed the half dozen steps, and took the mug from Mr. Tucker.
He said, "Thank you, Marie."
She walked quickly towards our position backstage. I stepped backwards but I knew from the look on her face that she recognized me as she neared us. I put my index finger to my lips. She was quick and understood immediately. She smiled and walked past us to fill the mug from the coffee pot.
As she returned, I held out my hand and she stopped to look at me, then passed the cup to me. I took it and indicated that she should stay there. She nodded and I smiled at her.
Trying to imitate Marie's mincing walk, so my steps would sound like hers, I walked towards Mr. Tucker's back. As I neared Mr. Tucker, who was again lecturing, several students noticed that I wasn't Marie, and probably recognized me. I put my finger to my lips and they remained silent but several began excitedly whispering to others. Reaching Mr. Tucker's side, I bent slightly and held out the coffee.
He must have smelled it because he stopped talking and absentmindedly took it from by hands, saying, "Ah, the ebony elixir of life. Thank you, Marie."
I remained standing there as he took a sip.
"Wonderful. Take your seat, dear."
I don't know if it was because I didn't move immediately, or because he suddenly realized that Marie had been wearing jeans, while the person next to him was wearing a skirt, but he twisted and looked up at me. I said, "Good morning, Mr. Tucker."
His jaw dropped and his coffee splashed around in the mug as he almost knocked it over in his haste to put it down and jump to his feet. The class laughed and applauded as he squeezed me in a bear hug.
Pulling away partly, he said, "Crystal, I'm delighted to see you. What's with the Mr. Tucker? It was Adam while you were directing at the Community Theatre. What are you doing in town?"
"I have a few days off so I came to critique your course, Adam," I said smiling.
Mr. Tucker grinned, and let go of me with his right hand so that he could turn to his class while still standing with his left arm around me. "I doubt if anyone here doesn't recognize her, but this is the world famous actress, Crystal Ramsey." The class applauded as he paused for a breath. "I'm also sure that most of you know she was a student of mine about six plus years ago, although she's gone on to eclipse her old teacher by several orders of magnitude."
Mr. Dodd and Marie walked out from backstage as the class applauded again. Des hung back slightly but was never far away.
"How long can you stay?" Mr. Tucker asked. "I'd love to have some time to talk with you, but I have to conduct my class right now."
"I have to be back in Virginia on Sunday, so that I can be on the set Monday."
"That gives us four days. Wonderful. Where are you staying?"
"At the Plaza."
"Great. Are you free for dinner tonight?"
"I've made no plans other than seeing you. Are you busy for lunch?"
"No, but that won't leave us much time for talking, and you're likely to cause a stir if you try to eat in any of the restaurants in this neighborhood. Dinner is better."
"How about both? I'll just hang around until lunchtime. Des can go out and pick us up some sandwiches. This is Des, by the way," I said motioning to Des, " my bodyguard."
Mr. Tucker looked at Des, smiled, and nodded. "Okay, you're on. We have a lot of catching up to do. There's a fantastic deli named Edda's just down the street. They serve the most marvelous hot pastrami sandwich on a rich, homemade, dark rye bread. They also have the most fantastic dill pickles."
"Miss Ramsey," Mr. Dodd said, "since you're going to be around for a few days, and have no other plans, I wonder if you'd be willing to address our students. I know that they'd love to have an opportunity to hear you."
"Um, I have no objection to speaking with the students, but I'm not much of a speech maker."
"I have a suggestion, Bill," Mr. Tucker said. "What if we were to conduct a session along the lines of a press interview? I know that Crystal's had a great deal of experience with those."
"Good idea," Mr. Dodd said.
"Or better yet," Mr. Tucker said, "how about a one on one interview, possibly opened up for audience questions towards the end. That way the interviewer would be able to ask more career relevant questions that would be of more interest to the general audience. I know that if the questions came solely from the audience, some would be asking simple things such as what your sign is and what's your favorite color, instead of asking about your experiences in television and moviemaking."
"Good idea. How about it, Miss Ramsey?"
"Okay. When would you like to do it?"
"How about a two hour session beginning Friday evening at seven. That will give us a couple of days to prepare everything, and we'll be able to use the large theatre downstairs without interrupting classes."
"That would be fine with me," I said.
"Wonderful. I'll start making the arrangements immediately. You don't mind if we videotape it, do you?. That way the instructors could use it with future classes."
"No, I don't mind."
"Wonderful. Thank you so much. It's a real honor to host you at our academy."
Mr. Dodd hurried off. Marie stood there looking awkward for a moment and then walked down to her seat.
Mr. Tucker said, "Would you like to wait in my office?"
"How about if I just sat quietly in the back row of the audience seating? Would it bother you?"
"Not me, but it might distract some of the students. Let's give it a try and see if it'll work out."
I walked down the stairs, with Des behind me, and up to the last row in the small theatre. The class watched our progress until I was past and then returned their attention to Mr. Tucker, who returned to his sitting position on the stage edge and took a sip of coffee.
It didn't seem that my presence distracted the class too much, although several people looked back several times to see if I was still there.
*****
After Mr. Tucker completed the lecture part of the class, he selected some of the students to act out parts of a play on stage. He worked with them, while students not selected watched from the audience seating and made notes. Then they discussed the performance and a new group was called to perform. It almost seemed like I was back in the Community Theatre as I watched him train the young acting students.
At eleven, I sent Des to pick up several sandwiches at the deli that Mr. Tucker had recommended. He returned before the lunchtime break and we waited until the class was over. Mr. Tucker rolled a table out on the stage as I signed autographs for students, and then he produced several folding chairs. We sat in the middle of the stage to enjoy the delicious sandwiches from the local delicatessen.
During lunch we spoke about the days at the Community Theatre and the fun that we'd had. Mr. Tucker talked about his mother's final days and I could see the pain of somebody who had watched a person that they loved, slowly slip away. Alzheimer's disease robs the victim of all their dignity as the progression of the disease takes away first their memories, then their ability to care for themselves, and finally the ability of their body to even function. As the brain literally decomposes within the victim, it loses the ability to maintain the body and the victim's organs begin to shut down. I found myself crying with Mr. Tucker as he related his mother's travel down that path, and her passing. In reflecting back on it, most surviving family members actually look upon death as a blessing, because, by the time it arrives, the soul, or whatever it is that makes each of us a unique individual has long since departed. I felt that our lengthy conversation acted like a catharsis for Mr. Tucker. Following the funeral he had been unable to talk about it, occupying his mind with other things in an effort to restore order to his life. I had been the first with whom he had been able to really open up and talk about his mother.
I actually welcomed the bell signaling that lunch hour was over. It was an opportunity to put aside the melancholy feelings that had permeated our conversation as we talked about Mr. Tucker's mother. There wasn't any point in my staying for the rest of the afternoon, so Des and I prepared to leave. Mr. Tucker would come to the hotel about seven and we'd go somewhere for dinner.
*****
Our conversation over dinner was much more enjoyable. We both talked about the things that we had done since our days at the Community Theatre. I told Mr. Tucker about my television work and my movies, and he told me about doing some theatre work before settling in as an instructor at the acting school.
As is always the case when good friends get together, the evening passed quickly and it was eleven o'clock before we knew it. Mr. Tucker had to work in the morning, so we finished our coffee and left the restaurant. There had been few patrons on this Wednesday evening so the staff hadn't felt compelled to shoo us out earlier, and they had continued to fill Mr. Tucker's coffee cup whenever he signaled, so I left a generous tip when I paid for the meals with my credit card.
Des and I headed back to the hotel while Mr. Tucker headed home. We agreed to meet again tomorrow for dinner.
*****
Thursday was beautiful day, and I took the opportunity to go sightseeing. I wanted to see all the things that I had missed on my previous trip to New York City because it had been too cold. Des and I visited Liberty Island although the Statue of Liberty was closed, the United Nations, and even the building site called 'Ground Zero', the site of the previous World Trade Center buildings where so many people had perished. Construction of the foundation work for a replacement tower was already well underway. Preliminary plans called for construction of a single tower that, when completed, would be 1776 feet tall, an important number in U.S. history, while also once again giving New York City the tallest building in the world; at last until someone built a taller one. Someone told me that although a design had been chosen, there was still an ongoing discussion and the building design might yet change again.
We returned to the hotel in time for us to get freshened up and dressed for dinner. Meeting Mr. Tucker in the lobby, we went to a different restaurant tonight, but one that he said would permit us to remain at the table and talk for as long as we wished. After dinner I brought up the subject of the situation at the Community Theatre.
"Neil is still selecting plays that no one will attend. Even the newspaper's entertainment critic won't go half the time. I'm afraid that it will mean the end of the Theatre. According to Marge, the bank account is dropping and there's never anything to put in. I'd make a contribution, but I don't want to fund those awful plays that he's selecting."
"I'm very disappointed in Neil," Mr. Tucker said. "I spoke with him a year ago and tried to persuade him to change his selections to more popular plays, but he insists that people will come around. He calls the plays he's selecting, the 'future of the theatre.'"
"It's actually becoming the 'demise of the theatre.' What can we do?"
"The only solution is to vote him out of the position and vote somebody else in."
"Can they do that?" I asked.
"Sure. It's a non-profit organization like a club. Neil is only allowed to remain as director as long as the members of the company don't force a recall. It was easier to set it up that way instead of having elections every year."
"Who's eligible to vote?"
"Anyone who is an active current member of the theatre group, or who has been an active member within the past five years. That includes everyone who has acted in a play, or been a part of the crew. I guess that even you and I still qualify. At least for a few more months, until the end of this calendar year."
"Then we have to do something right away."
"But who would take over?" Mr. Tucker asked. "You and I both have busy careers now. You're just starting a new picture and I'm just starting a new school year."
"There has to be somebody. Almost anyone would be better than Neil. What about Rick Verkasky?"
"Is he still active in the Theatre?"
"I don't know," I said. "I haven't spoken with him in several years. I understand that most of the old regulars won't even come around anymore. Neil selects plays with just a couple of characters because he can't fill a cast."
"It sounds like something must be done, and soon. I'll see if I can find my old address book with the telephone numbers of the cast and crew. Perhaps we can get a movement going to find a replacement for Neil."
"It may not even be necessary to replace him as director," I suggested. "Perhaps electing a board of directors that would select the plays and handle certain management functions would be sufficient."
"That's a distinct possibility, and it might be better to attack the problem from that direction. If Neil gets too upset about losing that responsibility, he might quit anyway, but at least it wouldn't appear that he was forced out."
"I'm sure that he's already selected the play for January, but if we act promptly, the Theatre could start to make a comeback in July."
"When will you be finished with your new picture?"
"They're estimating around the end of March."
"That would give you four months to prepare a production, if you're free."
"We're getting ahead of ourselves. Neil may decide to stay."
"We'll see. I'll start contacting people from the casts and crews. I'll tell them what they have to do to save the Theatre. Someone will have to take charge and call for an organizational meeting. If they get a decent turnout, they can modify the bylaws in one meeting."
"Wonderful. I'm glad that we discussed it. I still have such fond memories of my time there and I'd hate to see it disappear. I suppose that everyone will want to hear about it tomorrow."
"You mean at the interview?"
"Yes. Is there anything that I should do to prepare?"
"No. I'm sure that the questions will be general types such as what was your favorite role and favorite movie. Things like that."
"Okay, Adam. Oh, look at the time. We've killed off another evening."
"Yes, I have to get going. As much as I love talking with you, I have to work in the morning."
*****
I dragged Des around Manhattan, while I looked at the sights, until about three in the afternoon. Then we returned to the hotel so I could get ready for the interview. I’d decided on a basic black cocktail dress instead of the business suit that I had been planning to wear originally.
The limo dropped us off about six-thirty and I saw that it was going to be standing room only in the theatre. Several news trucks were parked near the front entrance. When they have a chance to film someone who normally avoids interviews, they make the most of the opportunity. At least they weren't looking for an interview before the planned event, and I was escorted past the people out front and brought to a makeup room.
Mr. Dodd and Mr. Tucker were there already, being prepared for the interview. After the hellos were exchanged, I was ushered to a vacant seat and introduced to the makeup person that would work on me. We exchanged pleasantries and the young woman started working on my hair.
Five minutes before the scheduled interview start time, I was escorted to the backstage area. I stood talking to a couple of members of the stage crew until I was announced, and then I stepped through the curtains. Mr. Dodd and Mr. Tucker stood and applauded, along with the audience, as I walked to my seat. The audience seating was packed, as I expected, and there was a row of people standing in the rear. Cameramen had taken up positions along the side walls, down in the orchestra pit, and two were on the stage.
Mr. Dodd and Mr. Tucker were sharing the interviewer position and would alternate asking questions. In addition to the questions that they had prepared, students had been permitted to submit written questions because there wouldn't be any questions accepted from the audience. I hadn't been permitted to see the questions in advance because they wanted the interview to appear spontaneous and unrehearsed. It would be.
The first hour and a half of questions concerned the movie roles that I had played, starting with my first part. They asked which movies I had liked, what I thought of the characters I portrayed, and how I enjoyed working with the other leading actors. They were all questions that I had answered during press interviews at one time or another in my career.
The last half-hour was reserved for questions directed more towards to my personal life and feelings. They asked about the Academy Award nominations, the estate in California, and my family. Everything was fine until Mr. Dodd asked me about my education.
"I understand that you've never had any formal training to become an actress. Why is that?"
"I had the finest training available. Mr. Tucker spent long hours with me during rehearsals for the first play that I was involved with, and I wasn't even part of the cast. I only stood in for absent cast members because, as script girl, I knew everyone's lines in the play. Mr. Tucker spent as much time critiquing my stand-in performances as he did the cast members. I learned a great deal during the months before the play opened. When I had to step in for an actress that was injured on the afternoon of our opening night, I was terrified, but the training took over and I was able to deliver the performance. Mr. Tucker continued to work with me after that night and I improved with each performance. I consider the training by Mr. Tucker to be formal training."
"I think," Mr. Tucker said, "that Mr. Dodd was wondering why you never attended college, or an academy such as this one?"
"It wasn't because I thought I was beyond such training. I did apply to four colleges, with my first choice being Carnegie-Mellon University–– but they rejected me. USC and the other two colleges did accept me, but I was offered the lead role in 'Water or Tequila, Senorita?' at the same time, and I still had a commitment to the second 'Open Spaces' movie. My agent persuaded me to delay my entrance to USC, and the school generously agreed to accept my enrollment at a later date so I could pursue my acting career while I was in demand. If I'd been accepted at Carnegie-Mellon as part of the curriculum In directing, I would have entered school right away instead of continuing with my movie making career, but I'd been emotionally devastated by CMU's rejection and I guess I might have become a little more open to other alternatives at the time because of it."
"Why did Carnegie-Mellon refuse your admittance?" Mr. Dodd asked. "Poor grades or test scores?"
I thought that talking about such a painful subject would be difficult, but I guess that time deadens such pain and the words came easier than I expected. "My grades were very satisfactory and my test scores were also quite good. I exceeded their academic requirements and was asked to come to the campus for an interview by department faculty members. I was rejected following the interview process, but they never told me why. I had thought that the interview went quite well. Perhaps they decided that I didn’t have the necessary talent to direct, and that the education would be wasted on me."
"Apparently the CMU faculty is far from infallible," Mr. Tucker stated. "I can assure you that our school would never have made such a grievous error."
"As I said, I was absolutely devastated at the time, but I couldn't let it get me down. I was in the middle of shooting 'Under the Scarlet Maple' up in Maine at the time, and I couldn't allow it to affect my performance. I do know that I wasn't much fun to be around after the cameras stopped rolling that first week. As it is, it worked out fine. My career has soared, and I was able to spend those four years acting, learning, and improving my skills instead of sitting in a Pennsylvania classroom or college theatre, although I'm not suggesting that others skip their formalized education. I was incredibly fortunate to have opportunities come my way that few other fledgling actors get, and while I have regrets about missing the educational experience, I have other wonderful memories in place of them. I'm still learning, but I don't feel that I still need a formal education to better myself in the entertainment workplace. I do still wish to improve my knowledge in other areas, and I intend to attend college one day."
"Would you go to CMU now if they asked you to come for another interview for possible enrollment?" Mr. Dodd asked.
"No, that part of my past will remain forever in my past. I don't see CMU as having anything to offer that could appeal to me–– other than, perhaps, an explanation. I’d like to know why they felt that I wasn't suitable for placement in the directing programs. Of course, any explanations offered now would be suspect, in light of my successful career. I actually did have a chance to produce and direct a play soon after CMU rejected me, and the critics thought that I did quite well. If USC will still have me when I'm ready to begin college, they'd be my first choice now."
"I think that I speak for the vast movie going public," Mr. Tucker said, "when I say that I hope your college ambitions won't soon take you away from the fans who love your work. You've told us about the movie that you begin shooting in a few days, what are your plans after that?"
"I intend to take some time off and relax. This is my third picture without a break, following a string of other pictures with little time off between. The schedule calls for shooting to be completed in six or seven months, and I plan to then take a few months off for relaxation before starting my next project. I haven't even allowed my agent to discuss any projects that would start within that planned vacation time."
The interview ran twenty minutes over the planned two hours, but the audience didn't seem to mind. When Mr. Dodd announced that the presentation was over, and thanked me for coming, the audience erupted in thunderous applause. I agreed to sign autographs and a long queue quickly formed at the orchestra pit. Des moved quickly from backstage and stood at my side while I signed the autographs over the next thirty-five minutes. My hand was aching by the time I was done. Not so much from the signing as from the handshaking that everyone expected. I was relieved when the last of the audience members were escorted out.
"Miss Ramsey," Mr. Dodd said, "I can't tell you how much we all appreciate your taking time from your busy schedule to make this night possible."
"It was my pleasure, Mr. Dodd. I hope that your students enjoyed it."
"I can't see how they possibly could not have enjoyed it, and been inspired by it. I know that I enjoyed it immensely."
"Thank you."
"Crystal," Mr. Tucker said, "why don't you get your make-up off so our backstage people can finish up?"
"Of, course, Adam. Good-bye, Mr. Dodd," I said as I extended my hand.
"Good-bye, Miss Ramsey," he said as he, thankfully, shook my hand gently.
After cleaning up we headed towards mid-town. Adam said that we should visit one of the theatres while I was here, so he made it his mission to get us in backstage at the St. James. Actually, it wasn't very difficult, as he knew almost everyone involved with the production of The Producers, and they all recognized me. Written originally as a screen play, which starred the great Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder, Mel Brooks adapted his script as a theatrical play. Nathan Lane was no longer among the cast, but the current actors were wonderful. Lewis J. Stadlen and Don Stephenson were currently performing in the starring roles.
It was fun being backstage at a play again. There's a certain feeling that comes over you when you hear a live audience enjoying a performance. It was something that I had missed working in pictures these past few years. There's also the underlying tension among the actors and crew because it’s a live performance and the timing is so important, especially in a comedy. I enjoyed every minute that we spent there.
*****
After leaving the St. James, we went for a late dinner. None of us had eaten earlier and I, for one, was starving. Adam took us to an Italian restaurant in Little Italy that he frequented. We enjoyed fresh pasta, made on the premises, and finished our meal with selections from a local pastry bakery. Everything was delicious, and completely unlike anything Italian that you would get on the West Coast.
We stayed at the restaurant, talking until closing time, and we were the last patrons left when I gave the waitress my credit card. When she returned with the receipt for me to sign, she also asked for my autograph. I signed her book and asked her to extend my compliments to the kitchen staff for the wonderful meal.
It was late when we caught a taxi on the corner and took it up to the Plaza. I was tired, so we said our good-byes while the driver waited, hugging and kissing like old friends before Mr. Tucker took the cab for his ride home. Des and I had tickets for a five o'clock shuttle flight out of LaGuardia, so I could sleep late and still have plenty of time to get to the airport.
*****
My four-day trip to New York had been fun. I had thoroughly enjoyed the hours of conversation that I'd had with Mr. Tucker. If he followed through with the things that we’d discussed, the Community Theatre might even see a revival. But now it was time to get down to business because a new script had been delivered to the house in my absence and I spent all day Sunday reading through it and making notes to myself as I pictured each scene in my head.
Arriving at the movie set location with Des a little after seven on Monday morning, I saw that dozens of trucks and trailers filled a small field near the house where we'd be shooting. Everything was as confused as they normally are the first few days, but I was directed to my trailer without problem. I only had time for a quick look around inside before there was a knock at the door and a young woman about my age entered in response to my calling out, "Come in".
"Miss Ramsey," she said smiling, "I'm Katie Holtas. It's a real pleasure to meet you. Mr. Howard sent me over to inform you that you're expected at the wardrobe trailer as soon as you've finished settling in. You have the most costumes, which is why you were scheduled to come before the rest of the cast, and you'll probably be needed there for about a week so that they can fit everything before they start with the rest of the cast. The first script meeting will be next Monday. Is there anything that you need?"
I smiled. "Just directions to the wardrobe trailer, right now."
"Turn left as you leave your trailer, go three trailers, turn right, and it's the second double-wide on your left."
"Got it. Thanks."
"You're welcome." She started to leave and then stopped and said, "If you need anything just ask for Katie."
"Thanks, Katie. I will."
After having a cup of tea, I picked up a package that I had brought and went looking for the wardrobe trailer. Katie's directions were good and I found it quickly.
The wardrobe people greeted me warmly, and wasted little time in getting down to business. Using measurements provided by the agency they had created most of the clothes that I would wear, but final fittings and alterations would still take days of work. The head wardrobe person, Eva Leone, remarked about my waist size before even putting a tape measure around me.
"The waist size in the file said twenty inches. You've put on a few pounds."
"I haven't been wearing a corset lately. I was down to nineteen inches on my last period movie."
"You'll have difficulty getting that small, so the sooner you get started the better. You'll want to be used to it before filming starts. I'll take your measurements and order a couple of custom corsets immediately."
"That won't be necessary. I have my own already," I said, handing her the package that I had brought. "I've procrastinated wearing them, but I'll start now that I'm on the set."
"Okay, we have enough to do that we can wait a little before we complete the final alterations. Let's see what we have." Eva opened the package and took out the corsets. "Very nice, but we'll have to have white corsets for the film. Proper women didn't use colors at the turn of the century, but these will do for fittings until the new ones are ready. If you'll take your clothes off we'll get started.
I removed my clothes and received new things to put on. Memories of being laced up by Carol, flooded my mind as one of the wardrobe assistants, Candice, laced me up. My shape was all female now, but the corset would allow me to wear clothing that would tightly hug my upper torso and couldn't be worn without one. Even the slimmest woman would be popping buttons and seams on Victorian period clothing when she bent, if she wasn't wearing a corset.
Candice stopped when I was only laced about halfway down. I knew that I wasn't all the way down because I could still breathe easily.
"Why did you stop? I can still breathe," I joked.
"How far did you want me to go, Miss Ramsey?"
"How about another inch, and then we'll take a break so that I can used to it before you tighten it again."
"But there's only three more inches left."
"Okay, then continue until I'm down to twenty inches so the fitting work can be started today."
"Okay," she said, exhaling her breath noisily, "I can stand it if you can."
Candice untied the laces and started tugging again. When she again stopped and tied off the laces, I could barely breathe. I knew that I had to be almost down to twenty inches by now. She used a tape measure to check my waist. "That's twenty inches and a quarter," she said.
I walked around in a small circle over the next fifteen minutes as I got used to the restriction. I wished now that I had started wearing the corset a few weeks ago, but I also knew that I had enjoyed the freedom of easy movement and hadn't been able to bring myself to wear it until I had to.
Once I felt that I could continue, Candice tightened the corset until I was at nineteen and seven-eighths inches. I couldn't have stood it if I'd had to move around, but I could tolerate it if all I had to do was stand there for the fittings. Four inches was the most thatn you should be laced down because of the effect that it has on your internal organs, but I wanted to be able to get the costumes alterations out of the way. Because I had worn a corset for so long when my ribcage bones were still soft, they had curved inward slightly to accommodate the restrictive garment, but the tight fit still shoved my insides around to fit. It like squeezing a balloon filled with water, the water has to go somewhere, whether it's up or down.
I took some more time to get used to the corset size and then announced that I was ready for the fittings. The proper shoes were placed on my feet so that I'd have the correct height for the floor-length gowns, and then the assistants layered me in petticoats before the first of the gowns was lifted over my head and settled down around me.
*****
By the end of the week, I was tired of playing dressmaker's dummy, but the gowns were almost ready. My feet ached each evening from having stood in shoes with three-inch heels most of the day. When I questioned the reason for the heels, I was told they were necessary because my male costar stood six feet five inches tall without shoes. I hadn't ever worked with Perry Davis but I knew that he was tall. I just didn't realize that he was that tall. He had been signed after I was, and we hadn't met yet. I had been invited to his signing ceremony but I was shooting the film in St. Croix at the time.
From having worn the corset day and night I was getting used to it. During the day I had them close it down to twenty inches, and before leaving the set it was opened an inch. I removed it to bathe in the morning and would then put on a clean corset, which I tightened down as much as I could. It would be closed further when I arrived on the set. By the time we started shooting I knew that I'd be able to wear it closed all the way down to nineteen inches, if that was really necessary.
*****
Most of the main cast members were on the lot by the second Monday, as well as many more crew members. I was in my trailer prior to the start of the first cast meeting when I heard a knock.
"Come in," I said loudly.
The door opened and an old friend climbed into the trailer.
"Fruit," I yelled, and rushed to embrace her.
"Hi, Princess," she said as we hugged.
"What are you doing here?" I asked as we separated enough to look at one another.
"I'm the script supervisor on this picture."
"Really? That's wonderful. Quite a promotion from PA."
"Yeah, but I'm still trying to make it as a writer. I just need something to pay the bills every once in a while."
"I couldn't be happier to see you. Here I thought that I wouldn't know anyone on the set."
"Oh, you'll recognize quite a few faces. Some of the crew have worked on other pictures of yours. You've made enough films now that it would be hard to put together a large U.S. crew where absolutely everyone is new to you."
"I suppose that's true. What have you been doing since we last met?"
"I was Mr. Howard's assistant on his last film, that's how I landed this job, and I've been writing and sending out my scripts between working on pictures. I've been told that my scripts are great and they’re generating lots of interest, but that's like having a casting director say 'we'll be in touch' to an actor or actress. It doesn't mean a thing until you see a contract and a check. But, the only way to make it as a writer is through dogged persistence. If you've got any talent, and you really work at promoting your writing, eventually you'll catch the right eye."
"I'm sure that you'll catch that eye eventually."
"I will," she said with firm determination in her voice. "And I don't have to ask what you've been doing, since you've been all over the tabloids for months. They all have you secretly married to Cole Griffith. Any truth there?"
"Of course not. We're just good friends that made a romantic comedy about a newlywed couple on their honeymoon in Europe. It's impossible to do that without the romance rumors flying constantly, unless of course you hate your costar. I like Cole and have ever since we worked together in New York."
"There's a picture of you two kissing at the Trevi Fountain after the filming was over. It's in the current tabloids."
"We went sightseeing the day after the cast party. Cole took me around to see the sights of Rome. It was nothing more."
"Okay, Princess, I believe you. I'm just telling you what they're printing. Actually, all the publicity may be good for this picture. When do you start the publicity tour for the picture you made in St. Croix?"
"They expect to release it in time for the Christmas season, so I guess that I'll have to make the rounds in early December."
"That'll be difficult. We'll be in the middle of shooting then."
"Like you said, it'll be good publicity for this picture because everyone always asks what I'm currently working on. The break is in my contract and I'll find a way to fit it in around my schedule here."
Glancing at her watch, Fruit said, "We'd better be heading over to the meeting. We can talk some more later."
Walking to the large doublewide where the cast meeting was to be held, we discovered bedlam inside as several actors engaged in a heated argument about script changes. As Fruit walked inside they practically pounced on her, and in seconds she was embroiled in the argument, defending the latest script. I managed to get past the group and take a seat in the trailer that would serve as a conference center.
The argument lasted until Mr. Howard appeared a few minutes later. He told everyone to take their seats and they'd get a chance to present their grievances later. Everyone involved in the argument plopped down angrily, with furious expressions on their faces. It was fast beginning to look like this was going to be a very long film project. I hoped I was wrong.
Perry Davis came in just as Mr. Howard started to make the introductions. Perry fixed his gaze on me and only looked away briefly as each person was introduced. I didn't look at him except when he was introduced, but I was aware that he was staring at me.
When the introductions were complete, Perry came over and sat down next to me. "I'm happy to meet you at last," he said.
"It's nice to meet you, also," I said. "I never realized that you were so tall until I got here and found out that wardrobe has me wearing three inch heels. It would have been four but they were afraid that it would have looked too unrealistic for the period."
"I'm sorry about that. My height is sometimes a handicap."
"It's alright," I said, smiling, "I enjoy working with very tall, handsome, leading men."
He smiled back at me.
"Everybody take your seats and we'll get started," Mr. Howard announced. "Okay, tell me what the problem is," he said after everyone was seated. "Let's start with you, Beth."
"My best scene in the entire picture has been changed all around. Instead of being a dramatic and passionate scene with Wesley, it's now a crowd scene with Wesley, Bob, Elise, and Michelle."
"I thought your best scene would be the one where you confront Wesley with the news that you've learned he's slept with Michelle?"
"Uh, well, that's a good scene also, but it's hardly a romantic scene. I threaten to geld him with a kitchen fork."
A chuckle passed around the trailer.
"The scene changes have been made for the benefit of the picture. You'll all be better off if the film is a huge success. It's better to have a significant role in a notable project, than a starring role in bad picture. Anybody else want to express your displeasure at our attempts to make the film better."
Either his words, or the way he said them, made the other participants in the earlier argument remain quiet.
"Good," he said, "let's get down to the important business."
He began by describing his vision of the story and then we covered the schedule. Completing that, we began a read through of the current script. Some of those that were not in the early scenes were excused to go to the wardrobe trailers for measurements and fittings. We broke a little after noon for lunch, with explicit direction to be back by one o'clock.
I was one of the last ones out, not wishing to fight a bunch of hungry actors trying to get to the food line, and was met by Perry as I emerged from the trailer.
"Crystal, would you have lunch with me?"
"Sure, Perry. I hope we can still find seats in the mess tent."
"I had my personal assistant bring some food to my trailer. I prefer not being jostled by boisterous crowds when I eat."
"Oh, okay."
"I sense something in your voice. You think that I'm being elitist?"
"No. Although perhaps you're a bit presumptuous to think you can interpret my thoughts a few hours after we've met, after hearing just two words."
Perry laughed loudly. "You're wonderful. I knew that I'd like you."
"And how did you know that?"
"Because of everything I've heard about you. Your friends and co-workers call you Princess, and you're one of the most sought after actresses in the business, but you never pretend to be better than anyone else. You're like the true royalty in this business, not the wannabes who have had some success and use their new power to lord it over subordinates."
"And where you fit in?"
"Me? I'm a wannabe that's trying hard not to be corrupted by the prestige and new influence that's started to come my way."
"How are you doing?"
"You tell me, after you get to know me. I'll accept your evaluation as accurate."
"Okay, Perry," I said smiling. "What's for lunch?"
"I don't know. I told my assistant to bring an assortment of whatever was available. She knew that you'd be joining me."
"Pretty sure of yourself, aren't you?"
"It's that wannabe attitude again. I assume that people will want to do my bidding. I'll have to watch that."
*****
After a surprisingly delightful lunch with Perry, we returned to the conference trailer to continue the read-through. The lunch was delightful because I found Perry to be witty and charming, and had been surprised because he didn't make a pass at me. I had heard rumors about what a fast worker he was.
*****
The first couple of weeks passed quickly. We spent the time rehearsing and getting to know one another, both as actors, and individuals. Preparation work on the location set continued at a brisk pace, and we'd be able to start shooting very soon. I had become somewhat accustomed to wearing the corset again, because I was wearing one day and night, but that didn't make it any more comfortable. After having spent months with Carol, Mom, and Aunt Jess, I began to feel extremely lonely at night. I was so busy during the days that I didn't have time to feel alone, but after arriving home each night, the quiet of the house was almost oppressive. When I tired of reviewing script changes, I would select one of the unread books that I always had with me, and immerse myself in a fantasy world of science fiction, romance, or mystery. I never even considered turning to alcohol or drugs, as so many other entertainers had. They were only short-term solutions to problems that grow exponentially as the habit grows.
My earlier trepidation about my fellow cast members, while not entirely groundless, may have been overstated. And while the set didn't seem destined to ever become the friendly and often jovial place that other sets had been, at least it didn't appear doomed to become a real-life blending of Valley of the Dolls and Peyton Place. Fruit had been correct about my knowing many of the crew members from having worked with them on other sets and I felt generally comfortable, if not completely contented, while on the set.
*****
Once we started shooting, I found out just how demanding Mr. Howard was as a director. Some of the others objected to shooting take after take after take, but I didn't mind, using each new take as an opportunity to improve my performance, although I gave my all in every take where I was in the frame. I knew Mr. Howard was concerned with the final product, as was I, and I was prepared to spend as much time as necessary to deliver a perfect performance, not because I was hoping that this role might finally be the one that convinced the Academy I could really act, but because I always wanted every scene to be perfect.
I ate lunch with either Perry or Fruit every day, sometimes with both, and in between scenes I would relax under the awning on my trailer if the weather was warm enough. I was usually joined there by several other actors whose presence wasn't required elsewhere, and we'd talk about the film, or acting in general. It helped pass the very long days as the company tried to take advantage of every minute of daylight.
*****
By the time we'd completed the outdoor shooting, the weather had gotten considerably colder, and the company was preparing to move to Georgia. I'd originally thought that we'd only be shooting five days a week, but with weather problems and script changes, we usually worked six days, and some Sundays when we were rained out during the week.
Things had gone smoother after the first few weeks, but some of the more temperamental cast members continued to stir the fires of discontent. I tended to keep my distance from several of the more 'passionate' actors who seemed to be critical about everyone's performances except their own, and never joined in any of their heated discussions, leading them to use my Princess nickname derisively at times. I ignored their attempts to drag me into their cat fights.
*****
The hotel suite arranged for me in Atlanta was spacious and luxurious, but big city living didn't really appeal to me. I was glad that I'd only be here until the movie was finished, and I couldn't wait to get back to my home in California. Des and Mrs. McGuire each had nice accommodations as well, although their bedrooms were quite a bit smaller than the master bedroom that I occupied in the three-bedroom suite.
*****
On the afternoon before Thanksgiving, Mr. Howard closed down the set early. Des, Mrs. McGuire, and I hurried to the airport, having packed the evening before, and boarded the first available flight to LA. I had quickly made reservations on four different flights to ensure that we’d have seats when we arrived.
Mom and Aunt Jess were waiting for us with the van when we arrived and Des took the wheel to drive us northward in late commuter traffic. An incredible feeling of calm came over me as the vehicle climbed the estate driveway and the outline of the house came into view. It was already dark, and only a few lights were on inside the house, but I could picture the house easily in my mind. I hadn't been home since Carol's college graduation in May.
Mom had purchased everything we’d need for our Thanksgiving meal, but it would take many hours of preparation, so we all pitched in to help Mrs. McGuire. Enough stuffing for two turkeys, one for the family and one for the staff, was prepared, and then we worked on making the pies and deserts. The final preparations of vegetables would be done once the turkeys were stuffed and in the ovens tomorrow. Carol arrived home just as we finished work.
Because of the time zone differences, I could barely keep my eyes open as I climbed the stairs to my bedroom about eleven o'clock, and I didn't waste any time getting into bed.
*****
Waking early, I went for a swim before breakfast. Carol came down while I was swimming laps.
"Morning, Crys," she said cheerily, as she took off her robe.
"Hi, sis," I replied, as I changed my pace monetarily to answer.
She began doing her stretching exercises as I continued swimming until I’d finished my twenty laps.
"You're looking good, sis," she said, looking at my figure as I climbed out of the pool. "Twenty–one inches?"
"Closer to twenty-two, but I'm still working on it. By the time the picture ends I should be back to twenty-one inches without the corset. Of course my backsides seem to be growing, despite the exercises that I've been doing."
"It's probably muscle," she said, smiling.
"I can only hope."
"Turn around."
I turned my back towards her.
"There's nothing wrong with your figure, it's perfect, and you don't have an ounce of excess fat. Whatever you're doing, keep it up."
I smiled. "Thanks. You're looking good too."
"I do a lot of running around since I became a PA, but I've learned a lot more than I ever learned by just hanging around the set. It's been fun, most of the time."
"Ever feel the urge to get in front of the camera?"
"No, not really. The work that I had as an extra in your movies was enough. The pay is better in front of the camera, but I get more enjoyment working behind it."
"What's next when you're through with this job?"
"I haven't decided yet. I might take another job as a PA if I feel that I still have more to learn, or I might look for a director's assistant intern position again."
"If you want me to use my contacts, just let me know."
"Thanks, sis, I will. But I'd kind of like to see how far I can get on my own."
"Okay, if that's the way you want it, but it seems similar to my refusing Mr. Daniels when he offered to represent me. I still had to prove myself to get and keep the jobs that he found."
Carol looked at me but didn't say anything. I could tell that I had gotten her thinking. I finished drying off and said, "I'm going to see if breakfast will be ready soon."
The turkeys were already in the ovens and Mrs. McGuire was working on breakfast. "It'll just be another five minutes, Miss. Did you enjoy your swim?"
"It was heavenly. It's one of the things that I miss most when we're traveling. I think it's one of the reasons I enjoyed St. Croix so much; I got paid to go swimming every day. And of course it was so beautiful there."
"Yes, it was lovely there."
"I'll be in the pool area, Mrs. McGuire. Just page us when the food is ready."
"Very good, Miss."
Carol was in the pool swimming when I returned to the pool, so I stretched out on a lounge chair and relaxed. I closed my eyes for what seemed like a second, and awoke to the sound of Mrs. McGuire announcing that breakfast was ready. Carol was drying herself off a few feet from me.
"Breakfast is ready, sis," Carol said as I stirred.
"Good, I'm starving. I'm going to have trouble holding myself back and saving room for lunch.
*****
Sharon arrived with the babies a little after eleven o'clock. I had invited Mrs. Bradley to come as well since she was now the full-time nanny for the kids and lived in Sharon's house. The twins seemed to grow more adorable with each day and were quickly approaching their third birthday. They seemed to remember the house and didn't feel intimidated by the large rooms.
"Sharon, I've missed you so much," I said as we hugged.
"Me too, Crys. It seems like forever since St. Croix, instead of just six months."
"It's too bad that I don't have any stunt work for you in my current picture. Of course, you could do the partial nudity scene for me if you want."
She grinned. "With Perry Davis? I know that you have to be kidding. He's a dreamboat."
"He's nice. We've become good friends."
"Like Cole Griffith? I'll alert the tabloids."
"Not necessary. They're already working on their next headlines about me."
We both giggled.
"Seriously," she said, "what do you think of him?"
"He's too tall. I have to wear high heels just to appear in the scenes with him, or all you'd see is the top of my head."
"Come'on. Tell me the real story," she said teasingly.
"That's the whole story; we're just friends. We have lunch together most days and I enjoy his company. He's invited me out a number of times, but I've refused. I don't want to give the tabloids any more fodder."
"As if they needed any. They'll only make it up if you don't provide it."
"But at least they won’t have pictures. How are you doing? How do things stand with Roy?"
"Who?" she said quizzically. "Roy? Roy? Oh, Roy. Yes, I still remember him. He was home at Christmas, I think."
"That's the last time you saw him?"
"I saw him in a couple of movies a few months ago. At least I think it was him. His name was in the credits."
I sighed. "I'm sorry, hon."
"I'm only sorry for the girls. They deserve to know their father, even if he is a louse who doesn't care about them."
"He'll regret it someday. My father deeply regrets his indifference towards Carol and myself while we were growing up. The trouble is that by the time men regret it, it's almost too late to rebuild the bridges. Does he at least pay child support?"
"Yes, he's been good about that. I put most of it into an educational fund, and use my salary for our living expenses."
I nodded. "That's great. That was one of my biggest worries as I was growing up. My mom could only afford to put a small amount away each year, and there wasn't enough for both Carol and myself; not even for the local community college."
"But that's not why you didn't go. I saw the interview that you did at the acting school in New York when it was televised last week."
"That was on television out here?"
"It was a national broadcast on a cable station. I heard your name when I was surfing through the channels and I stopped to listen."
"I didn't expect them to televise it, even though I signed a release. It was only supposed to be for school use."
"There wasn't anything bad in the show. You came off looking great."
"I'm sure that Mr. Tucker would have edited out anything that would have made me look bad."
"I didn't know that CMU rejected your application to enroll there."
"It was a very emotional subject for me. I never discussed it until that interview."
"We'll, they're the losers. They could have been bragging that the international star of stage and screen, Crystal Ramsey, was a CMU graduate, while hitting you up for annual alumni contributions. Now they have neither."
I smiled. "Things worked out fine. I'm finally over the heartbreak of the rejection."
*****
Just before noon, the chime sounded to signal that the gate was opening and I walked outside to greet Oliver. He jumped out of his car as soon as it stopped and ran at me. I took a step back because I thought he wasn't going to stop, but he did come to a complete halt just as he reached me. He wrapped his arms around me, lifted me up, and swung me around.
I giggled and said loudly, "Oliver, stop. You'll make me sick."
He stopped twirling me and set me down. Looking into my eyes and said, "I'm glad to see you again. It's been so long. Tell me that I'm the only man in your life."
"You're the only man in my life– except for my father, Des, Mr. Daniels, and all my male costars."
"Okay," he said smiling, "so tell me I'm the main man in your life."
"You're the main man in my life."
His smile lit up his face. "That's what I wanted to hear. I knew that Cole Griffith didn't get you to marry him."
"Oh, Oliver, really," I said with disgust. "You, more than most people, shouldn't be paying attention to supermarket tabloid headlines."
"I know, but it's so hard when they have pictures. Pictures seem to give credence to the lies."
"Cole is an old friend and I kissed him goodbye after completing our movie and enjoying a nice day of sightseeing in Rome. That's all there was to it. The next day I was on a plane for the states."
"And Perry Davis?"
"Oliver. What about Gail Suther, Heather Purvis, and Gwen Lawrence?"
"What about them?"
"You've been kissing them on television all season."
"But that's just part of the character I'm playing."
I nodded knowingly.
"Okay, you're right. I'm jealous of your male costars."
"You shouldn't be. I've already told you that I like you more than any boy I've ever known. That hasn't changed. Now let's go inside; dinner is almost ready. I was beginning to think that you weren't coming."
"Not a chance. I would have gotten here if I had to walk from my new house."
"You closed on the new house? That's wonderful."
"You have to come visit right away. I can't wait to show it to you."
"I'd love to, but I can't come right away. I have to leave tomorrow morning because we're shooting on Saturday and Sunday to make up for the holiday time that we took off."
"You're working for slave drivers," he said dramatically.
"Yes," I said smiling, "but that's the life that we've chosen. I promise you I'll come see your new house when I come back next month for the publicity tour, or at Christmas, if I don't make it during the PR tour."
"Okay, babe, I know you're busy. But you're going to take some time off after this picture?"
"Absolutely."
"Okay. Let's go have dinner."
*****
Since Dad hadn't come for Thanksgiving, I handed the electric knife to Oliver when the Turkey was brought from the kitchen, and he entertained us with his impression of Dr. Frankenstein as he 'operated' on the bird.
As we enjoyed our Thanksgiving meal, Des, Mrs. McGuire, George, and the other staff members were enjoying a similar meal in the servant's wing. I hoped that their meal was as delicious as ours was in the formal dining room.
*****
It was a wonderful Thanksgiving Day and I really enjoyed being home, and among family and good friends. After Sharon left with Mrs. Bradley and the girls around eight o'clock, Oliver and I walked around the grounds, talking.
"I still have the ring," Oliver said, "in case you've changed your mind."
I smiled and said, "Not yet."
"Is it true that Cole proposed?"
I stopped and turned towards him. "Where did you hear that?"
"One of the tabloids had a picture of you and him in Rome, and he was holding out a ring to you."
I laughed. "Argh, the tabloids again."
"Is it true?"
I hesitated for a few seconds while I thought about my answer. I didn't want to lie to Oliver about it, and I couldn't see how the truth couth could hurt him. "Yes, Cole proposed a couple of times."
"A couple of times?"
"What's the difference? I didn't agree to marry him. Not even once."
"But you let him think that he still has a chance?"
"I didn't laugh in his face, if that's what you mean. I wouldn’t be that cruel."
"How many other men are carrying a torch for you, thinking that they still have a chance?"
I giggled. "According to my publicist, about half the eligible men in America, and a quarter of the married men, but I think she's exaggerating, and is definitely partial."
Oliver smiled. "Only half the eligible men?"
"You're partial too," I said grinning.
"Damn right. There's never been anyone else but you."
"And your child bride back on the farm."
"Nah, I don't think that she was any more interested in getting married than I was. But she was intimidated by her parents and would have gone through with it if I hadn't run away. What a happy couple we would have made. It would have been like my folks all over again. Two people, with nothing in common, other than the farm and their communal bed."
"And you."
"For a while, but they don't even have me any more."
"Have you tried to reconcile since the time you sent them a check they didn't cash?"
"I invited them to come visit me at my new house, but they haven't answered yet. Since it's been like– three months now, I don't expect to hear from them."
"Have you considered going back in person?"
"My dad would probably shoot me on sight."
"Oh, Oliver, he can't be that bad."
"Don't bet on it. He used to strap me when I didn't move fast enough to suit him, or if I forgot to do all my chores."
"He beat you?"
"Yeah. He'd get very righteous and say that his father strapped him when he was young, and it kept him on the straight and narrow."
I shook my head. "I'm sorry." I'm sure my face reflected the revulsion I was feeling for a parent that beat a young, defenseless child who hadn't done anything except behave like a child.
"Hey, you had nothing to do with it, hon."
"I know, but I'm so…"

To be continued…(someday)