Tano arrived at Watch headquarters bright and early, as usual, only to find a summons to the Duke's palace waiting for him. His stomach twisted with dread at the thought of the meeting that was sure to happen, but as there was no avoiding it, he put on his best stone face and trudged up to the palace, leaving Captain Ennrian, his second, in charge.

Rannale, the Duke's Secretary was waiting for him when he arrived. "Lord Commander," he said with a small bow.

Tano scowled at the man, displeased at the reminder of the title that Duke Sleine had insisted on foisting upon him as a "reward" for long years of distinguished service. However, as he knew from experience that Rannale would ignore anything he said on the matter, he grumpily followed the man to the Duke's study without comment.

Vicereine Kalira rose when he entered, looking tired, but still as strikingly beautiful as ever. Tano endured her brief embrace, and even found a smile for her when she thanked him earnestly for coming so early.

"You know I don't sleep," he reminded her.

"Right. Of course. Sorry." Kalira yawned and resumed her seat at the Duke's table, laying an affectionate hand on his arm as he poured her a cup of very strong tea.

Tano's insides twisted with misery as Sleine leaned forward to kiss Kalira's cheek, a reaction that he struggled not to show. It wasn't Kalira's fault she hadn't been able to return his feelings, after all. He'd told Kalira he was happy for her, and he'd just have to convince himself that he meant it.

"Something to eat, Commander?" The Duke gestured to the spread in front of him.

"No thank you, my Lord." Tano said politely. He was able to counterfeit the mechanics of eating, but as he didn't have any taste buds, he preferred not to bother. "I don't currently require sustenance."

The Duke smiled. "I'm afraid you'll have to forgive our rudeness as we eat in front of you, then. It's been a long morning already."

Tano nodded stiffly, wishing that Sleine wasn't so damnably... likeable. Somehow it would have made Kalira's rejection easier to bear.

The war council commenced when the rest of the Duke's informal council of advisors had arrived.

"We've located the shifter cult's temple, and with it - the relic," Sleine said, jumping straight to the heart of the matter. "And not a moment too soon - the conjunction needed for the ritual is less than two days away. The temple is hidden below the lowest levels of the catacombs. A strike team is being assembled as we speak to infiltrate the temple and destroy the relic, so that the cult won't be able to summon their god." Sleine turned the full weight of his regard on Tano. "Commander Tano, given that these are your people..."

"They are not my people," Tano growled. "They chose their side when they abandoned me, and I've chosen mine."

The Duke grimaced.

"Your loyalty is, of course, above reproach," Kalira said apologetically. "We simply meant that you have the best understanding of how they think."

Sleine nodded. "To say nothing of how useful a man of your... talents will be."

Tano grunted. It wasn't the first time he'd been tapped for a mission of this sort. He was Commander of the Tinoran City Watch, not an adventurer or an assassin. But it was hard to deny that his shifting ability would be even more of an asset than usual, given that they were going up against his own kin. And since a successful summoning of the shifter god would result in a cataclysm of fire and death that would consume the entire city, it was in Tano's own best interest to do everything in his power to ensure the ritual was prevented.

"I am yours to command, my Lord."

"Very well. The strike team is assembling at the armory. You'll leave as soon as they're ready."

* * *

The Duke's adventurers were some of the best in the realm, and with good reason - Sleine spared no expense to ensure they were happy. That their salary came from his own personal coffers rather than the public purse was one of the many reasons he was so beloved by his people. His effortless goodness was another - the Duke was a man you couldn't help but believe in.

Safely navigating the catacombs' warren of tunnels was slow, careful work. The cult had booby-trapped the tunnels with all manner of gruesome and deadly traps, both mechanical and magical. It took a full day for the team to get into position, and everyone - including Tano - was exhausted and worn by the time they evaded the last of the patrols and emerged from a secret passage into the inner sanctum.

Birch, the team's master thief, consulted their pocket watch. "The conjunction happens in about two hours."

"We won't get another shot at this, then," replied the cleric, a balding little man whose name Tano's tired brain refused to hold onto.

Found it," Esskale, their wizard, said dryly, pointing to an alcove on the opposite wall in which a large, plain metal box sat on a marble pedestal. The entire wall was dominated by an ominous mosaic, with black and purple tiles making it appear that shadow tentacles were erupting from the box. Esskale frowned, squinting, as she scanned the surrounding area with mage sight. "Nobody move," she said shortly as she raised her hands.

Nobody did.

A few minutes later, she made a final throwing motion, and there was a brief shower of sparks. "There," she said tiredly. "Had to do it quick and dirty, but I've unmade the protections. The magic ones at least." She swayed exhaustedly, and Lorek - a taciturn merc the size of a brick wall - stepped forward to steady her. "And now I need to sit down."

"My turn," Birch said, lowering a pair of enormous lenses onto their face.

Time ticked with agonizing slowness as Birch examined every square inch of floor before turning their attention to the pedestal itself, but no one complained. Birch was the only reason they'd gotten this far in the first place.

Finally, Birch sighed. "Only one left," they said, lifting their lenses and beckoned Tano over. "But it's a doozy. See this?" They pointed at a small circular hole on the front of the box that was about as deep as Tano's second knuckle, several inches below the lid's seam. Birch moved their lantern so that Tano could see the wicked-looking needle gleaming inside. "There's one on every side, and the only way to remove the lid is to depress the mechanisms on all four sides of the box."

Tano frowned. "And the needles are coated with a fatal poison, I suppose."

"Naturally," Birch replied.

Tano looked at Esskale, who was sitting on the floor, leaning against a large pillar. "Is the poison magical in any way?"

Esskale grunted, squinted at the box, and shook her head. "No."

"Mm. And cutting the damn thing open would draw far too much attention."

Birch nodded wryly. "We don't have the time or tools for that anyway. Unless Esskale can melt it or something."

"Nope. Used all my power making sure we didn't get disintegrated."

"Alright then." Tano cleared his throat self-consciously. He didn't usually like shifting in front of an audience, but... Needs must. "If anyone gets squeamish about tentacles, you might want to close your eyes."

It would have been easier to revert to his natural liquid state, but as he still needed to be able to communicate, Tano had to concentrate on holding the rest of his shape steady while he split his arms into four separate limbs. Next, he stretched each limb so that he could extrude a digit into all four holes at once, just in case Esskale was wrong and one or more of the needles was magically trapped.

Thankfully, however, his caution was unwarranted, and there was a satisfyingly loud click when Tano depressed the mechanisms on all four sides simultaneously. "I don't suppose we know if there are any traps inside?"

Birch and Esskale both shook their heads.

"Very well. We'll just have to go for brute force and ignorance, then." Tano reformed his right arm into a giant mallet and shifted the majority of his mass into it, making it as dense as possible. When he was ready, he looked at Birch. "On three, remove the lid and hit the floor. You count."

Birch nodded and got into position while everyone else took shelter behind the pillars ringing the outside of the room.

"One. Two. Three!"

Birch was fast - they flung the lid aside and hit the floor almost before Tano had time to react. Angry red light erupted from the box as the object inside - a diamond-studden diadem - battered Tano's will with magical compulsion, demanding that he put it on.

A split second later, his "fist" made contact, triggering a blinding flash of light.

Time slowed to a crawl as voices around him cried out in pain. Tano collapsed like a puppet whose strings had been cut as a vast, overwhelming Power wrapped itself around his soul and tried to take him along with it as it was dragged back into the void. There was a moment of unbearable tension, then something snapped. The god howled its outrage directly into Tano's mind, lashing out with its remaining strength.

So this is how it happened, then. He'd always thought he'd die in the line of duty.

And then Tano was back in his body, and there was no room for thought. No room for anything but pain. Endless, excruciating waves of pain as magic coursed through every atom of his being.

Tano screamed and blacked out.

* * *

He came to lying on the temple's cold stone floor.

The cleric (Galen? No. Gallen.) was kneeling beside him, holding his wrist. "He has a pulse!"

Tano started shivering violently.

"Your cloak," Gallen snapped at Lorek.

Lorek removed his cloak, looking away in embarrassment as he draped it over Tano.

It was only then that Tano realized that he was naked. His head swam as he was assailed by unfamiliar sensations - cold, discomfort, pain. Dear gods the pain. Instinctively, he tried to shift forms, bring his "clothes" back, only to find a void where his magic once had been.

"Hurts," he gasped.

Esskale frowned and looked at Gallen. "It's not a spell."

The cleric looked as baffled as Tano felt. "There's nothing wrong with him," he protested. "At least not that I can feel."

Tano grit his teeth against the pain he apparently wasn't having. "What. Happened."

Birch leaned over him, eyes wide with wonderment. "You're... human."

Fuck.

Lorek must have carried him out, because Tano didn't remember the trip back.

He woke up in the Duke's palace in a large feather bed, feeling only moderately like death, which was admittedly an improvement. When Tano groaned and forced his eyes open, he saw Doctor Banu - a gnome who had served as the Duke's personal physician for many years - sitting by the side of his bed.

"Ah! You're awake!" Banu exclaimed, his weathered, brown face crinkling into a smile that made him look like a dried apple.

"It--" The inside of his mouth felt strange. Why didn't it want to form words? "It wasn't a dream."

"No." Banu shook his head and handed him a glass of water. "Now drink that."

Tano drained the entire glass and discovered that apparently, human mouths were supposed to be significantly more moist than the outer portion of their epidermis. Gross. "I'm human now?"

"Yes," Banu said calmly.

Tano levered himself upright, wincing at the strange sensation of stiffened joints protesting the movement. He looked down at his hand, which looked as it always had, but when he rubbed his knuckles he could feel skin sliding over bone that had never been there before. When he raised a hand to his neck, he was unnerved to feel the steady beat of a pulse against his fingers. The shock of it provoked a sudden intake of breath, something that happened without Tano's conscious direction.

It was... disconcerting.

Disturbing if he was being honest with himself.

His "human" form had always been a gelatinous shape with no structure, a shape he'd held his entire life and that he'd learned to move as humans did without having to consciously think about it. But now he had all these... bits. Hard bits, and squishy bits, and liquid-y bits. And this was his life now, these bits, because he'd never change his shape again.

Tano eyes stung, and it took effort to force words around the sudden obstruction in his throat. "I chose a side," he croaked. "And now I'm being forced to live with that choice." There was the feeling of wetness on his cheek, and he raised his hand to discover that the stinging in his eyes had been tears.

Doctor Banu sighed. "How are you feeling physically?"

"Physically." Tano wiped his eyes and attempted to take an inventory of the bewildering array of sensations he was experiencing. "There is... pain in my midsection," he said slowly, placing a hand over his lower abdomen. "Something is... moving. Rumbling? And my head hurts."

"You're hungry, then," Banu said. He hopped down out of his chair. "Why don't you get dressed while I fetch us a meal." He patted a stack of clothing at the end of the bed, then added more delicately, "roominess is a matter of personal preference, so I've left you several options."

Then, with that baffling comment, Banu left and Tano was alone.

* * *

He discovered what Banu had meant when he was struggling to wrestle his irritatingly floppy new genitals into a pair of smallclothes without damaging himself. Once he'd gotten into them, he wasn't sure he cared for the feeling of having his genitals held so tightly, but supposed it might be better than the feeling of... dangling.

How did humanoids deal with all of this?

Banu found Tano waiting in the suite's sitting room when he returned several minutes later carrying a stack of books. A servant trailed along behind him with a tray of food, which was set on a table by the fireplace. Banu thanked the servant before waving Tano over to join him.

"I figured it was best to start with simple foods, since you've never had to digest anything before." Banu said as he sliced into a freshly-baked loaf of bread. An aroma filled the air that caused Tano's stomach to growl alarmingly. "If you don't have any trouble with bread, butter, and cheese, you can move onto exploring more complex fare."

Banu slathered butter onto a thickly cut slice, then handed it to Tano, who regarded it dubiously. He'd pretended to eat often enough to be familiar with the mechanics of it, but he wasn't thrilled about the idea of having to do it several times a day. It seemed so much less efficient than simply absorbing one's nutrients.

Banu leveled Tano with a flat stare. "Eat."

Tano scowled and bit into the bread, only to find himself arrested by a welter of new sensations -  he'd had no idea that the experience of food had more dimensions than flavor. Apparently there was also texture, and temperature, and... other things he was sure he wouldn't be able to pin down until later. He chewed slowly and swallowed, but was too tired to form an opinion as to whether he actually enjoyed it.

The pair ate in silence until Banu judged Tano had had enough. "No sense in making yourself sick. You'll learn how to tell when you're hungry and when you're full with trial and error. Now." Banu hopped down from his chair and gestured for Tano to follow him. I'm going to show you some things, and then you're going to do some reading."

Banu took him to the baths, where Tano received twenty minutes of humiliatingly thorough instruction on defecation, urination, and proper genital hygiene. Tano's face was burning hotly by the time Banu was done, which the doctor assured him was a perfectly normal reaction to embarrassment. Yet another tiny betrayal of this new biology.

When they were finished, they returned to what were apparently Banu's personal quarters. "You'll stay with me tonight, just in case you get ill or experience any other alarming symptoms. If you feel alright in the morning, I don't see why you can't go home and return to duty, so long as you take it easy." Banu gestured to the stack of books that he'd brought. "These are for you. I want you to start with the one on top and read the marked chapters before you go to sleep. The others are for later, as you have time."

With that, Banu retired to his room.

Tano sighed and opened the top book to the first marked chapter, and...

No. No. Absolutely not.

He slammed the book shut, his cheeks blazing so hot that it was actually painful. Bad enough that eating and... elimination were apparently mandatory. Sexual gratification, however, wasn't necessary for survival, and he'd be damned if he'd give into mammalian biological imperative! This new existence was already enough of a curse without getting into the disgustingly messy business of copulation.

Thus resolved, Tano set aside the first book and picked up the second.

* * *

Unaccustomed to the different bodily signals of needing rest, Tano fell asleep by the fire and woke up with a horrible pain in his neck from sleeping at an odd angle.

It was time to sleep in a bed, apparently.

Grumbling, Tano rose, stretched, and retired to the suite's guest room, where he stared in bewilderment at the bed. He'd still been naked when he woke up - had that been a matter of custom, or expediency? Tano knew that humanoids were generally very fussy about nudity, but the idea of getting into bed with all his clothes on seemed uncomfortable. Finally, he settled for removing everything but his smalls, got into bed, and fell asleep as soon as he'd pulled up the covers.

* * *

He didn't wake again until morning, opening his eyes to see weak pre-dawn sunlight streaming through the window over his bed. Was he still tired? He couldn't tell.

He knew vaguely that different humanoid subspecies had different sleep requirements. Stake-outs with Ennrian had taught him that elves required only an hour or two of semi-conscious meditation per night. How much sleep did humans generally require? He should have asked.

Tano flopped from his side onto his back and grimaced at an unexpected... chafing in his smallclothes. He blinked and threw back the covers, making a noise of dismay at what he saw - there seemed to be something wrong with his penis. It had swollen overnight to approximately twice the size it had been the previous evening. When he prodded at it tentatively at it through his smalls, it was stiff, rather than soft, and distressingly sensitive.

Tano pulled down the waistband of his smallclothes to investigate further and was alarmed when his penis actually sprung upright. Not only had it increased in girth and length, but it was also discolored. His normally tawny brown skin was flushed a dark berry red, with the head of his phallus nearly a dark purple.

Tano pulled his smallclothes back on, threw on a shirt, and went to knock on Doctor Banu's door in a panic. "Doctor. Doctor."

There was the sound of scrambling before Doctor Banu threw open the door. "Yes? What is it? What's wrong?"

"There's something wrong with my..." Tano's face flushed, and he found himself struggling for the least humiliating term. "Reproductive member."

The professional mask slipped a bit as Banu sighed with distinct annoyance. "Describe," he said shortly. When Tano did so, he shook his head with distinct irritation. "You didn't read those chapters, did you?"

Tano grit his teeth. "No."

Banu crossed his arms. "Tano, I told you to read them for a reason."

Tano shifted uncomfortably. "Well I didn't, so now I'm..." He trailed off, uncertain how to finish the sentence, and shrugged unhappily.

The elderly gnome exhaled noisily. "Well. I'm going to explain what's happening, and then I'm going to go back to bed and you're going to read those chapters. That's an order."

Tano nodded grudgingly.

To his credit, Banu got his professional doctor's mask back in place. "What you're experiencing is perfectly normal. It's customary for people with penises to get erections when sleeping."

Tano made an unhappy noise. "Then, what do I--"

"Read. The. Chapters. All of them, from start to finish. And if I don't think you've read them when I get up, I will quiz you. Publicly."

Tano's ears were burning now, as well as his face. "That won't be necessary," he ground out. "Thank you, Doctor."

Banu didn't quite slam the door in his face.

Chagrined, Tano returned to his room and grudgingly started reading.

He'd been familiar with the mechanics of humanoid reproduction, of course. It was hard to be an officer of the City Watch without being made aware of the mechanics - a not-inconsiderable part of the job involved stopping people from having sex in places where sex was not supposed to be had. But the book contained more than just biological explanations and colorful diagrams. There was also an entire chapter about safety, and another about consent.

Which Tano could reluctantly see the sense of. If one was going to engage in sexual activity, it was only rational to desire that one had an understanding of how to do so in a respectful fashion that didn't harm others. The chapter after that, however, was devoted to pleasure, and opened with a fairly rhapsodic introduction to the joys of self-pleasure in particular.

"Absolutely not," Tano muttered.

He returned to the book on nutrition, and was relieved to discover that his "erection" had gone away on its own by the time Banu woke up.

* * *

After a final examination, Doctor Banu provided Tano with one of the plain City Watch uniforms Tano had always imitated.

Others had been sent to the very small, very plain room he rented in a boarding house not far from Watch headquarters. As comfort had never previously been a concern, he'd just needed a place to keep his things and to have privacy when he went inert at night. Was he going to have to reconsider that arrangement now?

The reaction of the officers on duty when he arrived was embarrassingly effusive. Tano stoically endured the concern of his officers as best he could, reassuring them that he was fine but refusing to answer any of their more personal questions. Finally, Ennrian dispersed the crowd, telling them all to get back to work.

"My thanks, Captain," Tano muttered to his second-in-command.

"Any time, sir." Ennrian gave him a small smile. "We're all glad that you're alright."

Tano cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I don't suppose you'd be able to catch me up on what I've missed?"

"Of course, sir."

Ennrian was an eminently capable second, but there was still a lot of paperwork that needed Tano's personal attention, it seemed. Tano worked at it with a will until his stomach started to complain, prompting the realization that lunch was yet another problem that he'd now have to solve every day.

Thankfully, Ennrian didn't laugh when he asked for her opinion on the best place to get something that would keep him full without challenging his digestion.

* * *

The weight of everyone's unspoken curiosity got to be too much by mid-afternoon, so Tano excused himself to go out on patrol. He was due to make himself seen at The Drunken Lord anyhow - it had been days, and Karchak needed to know that Tano was still alive and kicking. The gods only knew what nefariousness that odious little weasel had gotten up to in his absence.

As he passed by the new cafe just up the block from Karchak's tavern, Eldreth - the owner - smiled prettily at him and waved. She was his equal in height (notable, as Tano was a tall man), with generous curves, long black hair, and greenish skin that spoke to at least one orc grandparent.

Tano had been aware of Eldreth's interest in him before (she was hardly subtle about it), which had previously been a fact without any emotional resonance. But now, in this new body with its biology and reactions, her interest became a lot more real, very compelling, and... completely overwhelming. His cheeks were warm as he waved dazedly back, then immediately tripped over his own feet.

Eldreth's smile widened.

Tano made the mistake of dropping his gaze and immediately found his attention caught by the way her low-collared bodice and full skirt emphasized her ample figure. He was alarmed to experience a sudden rush of heat between his legs, and the feeling of his pulse throbbing in his swelling penis.

His blush deepened as he looked away and hurried off.

Despite his best efforts to focus on patrolling, his thoughts remained fixated on the image of Eldreth, and how her bodice had clearly shown the contours of her breasts, which only provoked a further swelling of his rebellious reproductive member.

"Good afternoon, Tano," a familiar masculine voice called out.

Tano looked up to see Karchak standing on the porch of his tavern. His arms were crossed, and there was an unbearably smug smirk on the dwarf's face.

"How are you feeling?" Karchak asked with transparently false concern.

Tano grunted. "I'm afraid that any rumors you may have heard of my demise were greatly exaggerated."

"That's a relief. I'd hate for any harm to befall such an upstanding member of the community," Karchak drawled, an unpleasant gleam in his green eyes as he dropped his gaze momentarily to Tano's crotch.

Tano had been fairly certain his erection wasn't visible through his heavy uniform jacket, but he couldn't resist looking down to check. He realized too late that he'd given himself away when he looked back up to see Karchak laughing at him.

Tano retreated back to the Watch station.

He found it difficult to settle back into work upon his return.

Even once his member returned to normal, there was a bewildering array of processes that he couldn't stop being aware of. The expansion and contraction of his chest, once an imitated habit meant to put humans at ease and now a biological necessity. Blinking, as apparently one's eyes were another body part that needed to remain moist. To say nothing of his first experience of defecation, which had been unpleasant.

When he had at last managed to focus on something, he was only able to maintain that focus for an hour or so before pain in his neck and shoulders pulled it away again. Tano had previously observed that humanoids seemed to dislike remaining stationary, so he sat up to roll his shoulders, causing an alarmingly loud noise. The noise was accompanied by the bizarre feeling of something... no, several somethings popping in succession inside his neck.

Tano had a furious debate with himself before calling in Ennrian to awkwardly describe what had happened and ask if he needed to be concerned.

To his profound relief, Ennrian did not smile. "Yes, I can imagine that would be alarming. Joints popping is one of those things so normal that you sort of forget that it happens. Something to do with gas bubbles forming in the fluid around the joints, I believe?"

"Ah. I see." Tano smiled slightly. "Thank you for not laughing at my foolish question, Captain. Remind me to give you a raise."

Ennrian laughed. "The Duke handles our pay, sir," she reminded him. "But the sentiment is appreciated."

Whatever Tano would have said next was interrupted by a loud noise from his midsection. "I had lunch," he complained.

"And now it's nearly dinner," Ennrian replied calmly.

Tano started as he realized she was right, discomfited to see how much time he'd wasted fretting about unfamiliar bodily functions.

"You should go home, sir," Ennrian said firmly. "I can handle things here, and Doctor Banu said we weren't to let you overwork yourself." Her expression darkened when Tano opened his mouth to argue. "You can't get used to ignoring your body's signals, sir. It won't do anyone any good."

Tano gave her an irritated look. "Fine."

He trudged tiredly back to the rooming house, where he shocked the landlady by putting together a plate of food and taking it upstairs. After unlocking his door, he stood in the doorway, staring at the mostly bare, undecorated room, which suddenly seemed as if it belonged to a stranger. Just inside the door was a small table and two shabby padded chairs. Against the far wall was the small, narrow bed. The tiny closet, which had previously been empty, somehow seemed more empty with only a few spare uniforms hanging in it.

The chest of drawers, too, was mostly empty, except for some personal papers. Yet another thing he'd have to rectify soon. He'd need more pairs of smallclothes than the three pairs Doctor Banu had given him. The common-issue Watch boots seemed fine, but he'd need socks. A shaving kit if he wanted to remain clean-shaven. (Not that Tano knew how to shave.)

...all of which was too much to face right now.

Tano sat at his table and choked down his dinner - roast pork and potatoes with stewed vegetables - because he had to. As he ate, the terrible grief he hadn't given himself space to feel clawed its way into his chest.

He'd never change again.

When he was finished eating, he stumbled to the bed and had another first. He wept.

* * *

That night, Tano dreamed.

He was standing in the Duke's study with Doctor Banu and Eldreth. His member was fully hard, and Eldreth was rubbing his erection with the flat of her palm while the three of them made incongruous small talk.

When Tano struggled to answer a question about the weather, Banu frowned at him disapprovingly. "You didn't do that reading, did you?"

"I did," Tano protested.

"Then why aren't you initiating sexual intercourse?" Banu snorted impatiently. "You obviously want to, and she's clearly willing."

"It's not proper," was the only argument Tano could muster. "We're in the Duke's study."

Eldreth smiled and increased the pressure of her hand. "I'm sure he won't mind."

* * *

Tano woke with a start to find that he was humping the bunched-up blanket, and that his smallclothes were damp with pre-seminal fluid. Disgusted with himself, he got up, grabbed a wrap, and went to the baths. No one else was using them this early, which was just as well. It was difficult to get himself clean without aggravating his state of sexual excitement, and Tano cursed in rather blistering language about it as he refused to give in to the instinct to gratify himself.

He was just going to have to learn to master these impulses. There was nothing else for it.

Back in his room, he put on the loosest pair of smallclothes that the doctor had given him, hoping that the more relaxed fit would help to avoid unnecessary arousal. He was halfway to Watch headquarters by the time he learned he'd made a critical mistake. His penis and testicles were... dangling. The Doctor had said some people preferred this fit, but why would anyone prefer this?

Tano's treacherous feet took advantage of his distraction, delivering him to Eldreth's instead of his office as he'd intended. Eldreth beamed at him from behind the counter as he walked in. "Tano! What a surprise to see you!"

Telling himself that he was committed now, Tano steeled himself and walked up to the counter. "I... didn't have time for breakfast." He looked up at the menu board behind the counter and blanched at the bewildering array of options. "I'd appreciate some advice on what I should get."

Eldreth happily made some choices for him. Once Tano had paid, she surprised him by joining him at a small table outside, where she kindly told him about what he was having - herbal tea and a scone with jam and butter. Eating was less overwhelming than it had been the previous day, enough that Tano was able to venture opinions about what he was eating, which he was fairly certain was the polite thing to do. Eldreth certainly seemed to enjoy his opinions, if the way she was smiling at him was any indication.

He was nearly finished with his breakfast when Eldreth laughed at something he'd said, leaned forward, and--

--the collar of her dress was definitely much lower than it had been yesterday.

Tano was fully hard in an instant. Cheeks flaming, he stood, tugging down his jacket in the hopes that it would hide the reaction he couldn't control. "Thank you for the meal, and your company," he choked out. "I'm afraid I must get back to my duties. Please excuse me."

He hurried off before she could say anything, completely and utterly mortified, and stomped into the station without making eye contact with anyone. Once he had reached the safety of his office, he closed his door and collapsed into his chair, where he dropped his head in his hands and indulged in a small crisis.

Eldreth was a person. An undeniably lovely, very charming person, who deserved to be seen as more than a collection of sexually titillating body parts. So he most definitely was not going to think about her breasts, or imagine what they looked like naked, and he especially wasn't going to wonder if they were as soft as they looked.

Tano knew that grabbing breasts was a regular part of the sexual act. In the encounters he'd broken up, the grabbees generally seemed to enjoy it when it was something they'd consented to, but he'd never understood what the grabber got out of it. Until now. Because he was hard, so fucking hard that the pulse throbbing in his member hurt, just from thinking about Eldreth's breasts.

What would it feel like to have his erect penis between her breasts?

Tano surprised himself by making a noise - a completely undignified half-whimper, half-moan.

This was madness.

His chest grew tight, and his heart started hammering in his chest. Tano found himself gasping for air like a fish, and for a moment, he considered sending for Doctor Banu before common sense asserted itself. He'd talked enough people through anxiety attacks to be able to recognize one. Tano struggled to follow the advice he always gave, taking long, slow, and even breaths, determined to persevere without any assistance. Finally, after the longest, most miserable hour of his life, his arousal faded, taking his anxiety with it.

* * *

Tano berated himself for his cowardice as he hid in the office for the entire day, unable to face Eldreth. He only left after Eldreth's was closed, heading with some reluctance to The Drunken Lord. That oily toad, Karchak, needed to know he was being watched.

He took his usual seat on the second level, which was the one table with an unobstructed view of the entire tavern. Instead of one of the usual servers, however, it was Karchak who came up to take his order.

"How's Eldreth?" Karchak asked innocently, tossing his long mahogany braid in a fair imitation of the cafe owner. "You looked like you enjoyed your breakfast together."

Tano glared. "She makes me uncomfortable," he surprised himself by grumbling. "In fact, she specifically wore a garment meant to make me uncomfortable. Why would she do that?"

Karchak's answering grin had an unpleasant edge. "Because you liked it."

Honesty prevented Tano from saying that he hadn't. He had in fact liked Eldreth's dress so much that he'd spent an hour hyperventilating in his office about how much he'd liked it. "I'll take the stew," he said, fishing out a silver and leaving it on the table. "The tip is for the server, not you."

Karchak sneered, pocketed the coin, and stalked off.

* * *

The following morning, Tano trudged up to the palace to talk to Doctor Banu, who wasn't particularly helpful - Banu seemed to feel that Tano should "allow" himself to "explore" these deplorable new urges.

He took the long way back to the station to avoid walking past Eldreth's.

That evening at The Drunken Lord, Tano was surprised to see Eldreth come in with several friends. Their party was shown to a table on the first floor that was almost directly under his. When Eldreth took her seat he realized that he had the perfect line of sight to look down the front of her dress. He had been guiltily staring for several seconds when, for some reason, she looked up and saw him.

Eldreth smiled and waved.

Tano blushed and waved back, hoping he hadn't been too obvious about looking at her breasts.

He had been, apparently. While her friends were busy quizzing the server about their options, she held eye contact with him and started sucking obscenely on her index finger.

Tano couldn't breathe. He couldn't fucking breathe.

His face was on fire and his member felt like it was about to explode as he staggered to the washroom, sat on the floor in the corner of the far stall, and had a full-blown panic attack.

What the fuck was wrong with him? Was this what living as a humanoid was like all the time? All of these automatic reactions to things, and the lumps of meat in their skulls making everything go haywire over nothing at all? How was he supposed to do anything but exist entirely at the mercy of these biological urges?

How could he live like this?

He was still crying and wheezing when Karchak opened the door of the stall he was hiding in. "What are you doing?" Tano blustered, pulling his knees up to hide his shame.

It was humiliating having Karchak, whom Tano usually towered over, look down at him with such naked pity. "Look at you. You're a mess."

Tano couldn't argue with that.

Karchak grunted as he clearly came to a decision of some sort. "Well. Looks like it's up to me to get you straightened out."

The ludicrousness of that statement provoked a bark of laughter from Tano. "Why in the seven hells would you help me?"

Karchak's lip curled. "Because it's not fun beating you if you can't catch me."

"I always catch you," Tano shot back.

"Right now you couldn't catch a cold."

Dammit. He was right. Tano sniffled and angrily wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "What's it going to cost me?"

"Your suffering is more than payment enough."

Karchak... wasn't lying. Wasn't even trying to lie. "Fine," Tano finally spat. Whatever Karchak was going to do couldn't possibly be any worse than how he felt right now.

"Fine," Karchak echoed. He jerked his head toward the exit. "Go to the store room. I'll meet you there in a few minutes."

Tano knew the way - he'd hidden there plenty of times. He made it there without anyone seeing him, then paced as he tortured himself by thinking about the look on Eldreth's face as she'd mimed sucking his member. How she'd made it very clear that she liked him looking at her breasts, and she wanted him to do more than just look.

Karchak came in a few minutes later and locked the door behind him. "There. Now we'll have some privacy."

Tano's heart felt like it was about to hammer its way out of his chest. "How... what do--"

"Listen," Karchak interrupted gruffly. "I'm sure the doctors gave you books full of human nonsense and sentimentality, but the simple truth is this: nature has engineered us so that sex is one of the most pleasurable activities humanoids can indulge in, because if it wasn't we wouldn't bother propagating our various species."

Tano considered this, then nodded slowly. That honestly made a lot more sense to him than Banu's platitudes about love, pleasure, and 'humanoid connection'. "So I'm just supposed to be a slave to my biology then?" he asked wearily.

"Hardly." Karchak gestured at the erection that was visible even through Tano's uniform jacket. "This is like an itch. If you scratch it, it will go away."

"And... how..."

Karchak's smile was sweetly poisonous. "Do you want me to show you?"

Tano sighed and surrendered to the inevitable. "Yes. Please."

To his surprise, Karchak just nodded. "Take off your jacket."

After a moment's hesitation, Tano removed his jacket and folded it neatly.

"Now sit with your back against that crate."

Again, Tano complied, hating how the new position made the thick ridge of his erection starkly visible through his pants.

Karchak removed his belt and tunic, revealing an expanse of broad, thickly muscled arms and shoulders, with a belly that spoke to real strength rather than muscles for vanity's sake. His chest was covered with thick, brown curls that trailed down below the waistband of his pants, and his arms were covered with geometric dwarven tattoos.

He surprised Tano by sitting astride his lap.

"I'm going to give you your first orgasm," Karchak said calmly as he removed Tano's belt and started to unbutton his pants. He smirked when he pushed them open and saw the wet spot on his smalls. "Oh you have it bad, don't you," he purred as he rubbed Tano through the fabric, just as Eldreth had in his dream.

Much to his embarrassment, Tano whimpered. When Karchak smirked, Tano grabbed the dwarf's wrist. "This isn't just about the game, isn't it?" he asked hotly. "You're going to hurt me."

Karchak shook off his grip. "It's not just about the game, but no. I'm not going to hurt you."

Tano's heart was racing again as he was gripped by fear and... excitement, which prompted more fear. "I don't believe you."

Instead of looking insulted, Karchak just rolled his eyes. "Come on, Tano. You know when I'm lying to you. You always know."

Tano blinked. "I... I do."

"Am I lying to you now?" Karchak asked impatiently.

Shit. Fuck. Shit. "No. But why--"

The dwarf rolled his eyes again, grabbed Tano's hand, and put it on his own crotch. Tano was shocked to feel firmness where he had expected something soft.

"Wait. You're..."

"Yes." The 'you idiot' was left unspoken, but still clearly audible. "What can I say? I've always had a weakness for men with a rugged face and a big dick."

Tano didn't know what to say to that at all.

Karchak smiled smugly as he pulled down the waistband of Tano's smalls and wrapped his hand around Tano's achingly hard member. He pulled down on Tano's foreskin, exposing the engorged head of his penis, then slowly pulled back up, and it was the best thing Tano had ever felt in his life. Karchak paused for a moment, then did it again, and Tano shuddered with pleasure as his entire world became the feeling of his penis in Karchak's hand, and nothing else.

"Gods, look at you," Karchak said huskily. "You're not thinking of Eldreth at all right now, are you?"

Tano was appalled to realize that he wasn't.

Karchak's own erection was now as visible through his pants as Tano's had been, and his expression sharpened when he saw the direction of Tano's gaze. "Do you want to see?"

Tano nodded. Gods help him, he did want to see it. Was aching to see it.

Karchak opened his fly, pushed down his smalls, and for a long moment both of them just stared.

Tano's experience with erect penises had previously been limited to asking their owners to put them away. He'd never bothered forming an opinion about any of these errant penises, but Karchak's... He couldn't have said why, but he felt drawn to it. It was shorter than his own, but significantly thicker, with a slight upward curve.

Tano badly wanted to touch it, even though every part of him was screaming that this was a mistake. "I don't understand," he mumbled. "I don't love you, and you definitely don't love me. So why..."

"Am I doing this?"

Tano gulped. Nodded.

Karchak smiled venomously and stroked Tano again with sensuous slowness. "Because I can't fucking stand you."

"F-fuck," Tano gasped, suddenly understanding exactly what Karchak meant. "Sh-show me then." He knew he'd lost a point for asking, but he didn't much care.

"You know, the better an orgasm is, the clearer your head will feel when it's done."

Karchak still wasn't lying, and Tano couldn't deny that he was eager to find out what could feel even better than he did right now. "Alright, then. Wh-what..." he gasped and was unable to finish the sentence when Karchak swiped his thumb through the liquid leaking from the head of his member.

"It's good when someone does it for you, but it's better when you do it together," Karchak explained as he pulled a vial out of his pocket and poured oil into Tano's hand.

Tano swallowed and wrapped his hand around Karchak's erection. It was hot, and thick, and Tano could feel Karchak's pulse in the thick veins that ran along its length, which he found surprisingly exciting. When Tano tentatively stroked him, Karchak bucked into his hand. "That's it," he groaned. "You touch that fucking cock."

Tano made a sour face. When Karchak laughed at his reaction, Tano stroked him again to shut him up.

Karchak moaned and let go of Tano, who made an indignant noise. He would have retaliated by letting go of Karchak if the other man hadn't stopped him. "No way," the dwarf said challengingly. "You're all of thirty seconds from busting a nut."

Tano frowned. "What--"

"Vulgar human slang for ejaculation." Karchak explained, grinning as he fondled Tano's testicles. "These are nuts."

"That's disgusting," Tano grunted, then gasped when Karchak ran his finger up the underside of his penis.

"You don't get to come - to orgasm - until I do, because this is a quid pro quo."

Tano was weirdly reassured by this proof of Karchak's inherently mercenary nature. "Fine."

He resumed stroking Karchak, who moaned. And certainly the other man seemed to be enjoying himself - the twitch and pulse of his member in Tano's hand was proof of that - but he wasn't coming to pieces the way Tano had. So, driven by an instinct he couldn't explain, Tano reached around to grab Karchak's braid at the base of his skull and pull. When Karchak responded by making a high-pitched keening noise, Tano dropped it with a startled yelp.

"Well don't fucking stop!" Karchak snapped.

Tano resumed tugging on Karchak's braid, earning a louder repetition of his previous sound. And... fuck there was something so gods-damned arousing about seeing Karchak like this. His enemy, a man he'd loathed for years, turning to putty with his penis in Tano's hand. Tano's own member throbbed painfully as it protested its untouched state, but he clenched his teeth, refusing to give Karchak the satisfaction of begging to be touched again.

He experimented with technique until Karchak gasped and started to tremble. "Fuck, that's it."

Tano chuckled. "You know, I didn't think you'd be this easy."

Karchak's eyes snapped open and his nostrils flared angrily. "I'm sorry, but you are definitely easier than I am," he growled. He poured more oil into his hand before pushing Tano's hand out of the way so that he could wrap his large hand around both of them.

Tano all but sobbed at the incredible feeling of Karchak's hand sliding along his length, even as their hard penises... their hard cocks rubbed against one another. (Karchak was right in his choice of words - this was too degrading to be described in clinical terms.)

"That's what I thought," Karchak declared as Tano threw back his head back and almost cracked his head open on the corner of the crate.

Tano could only moan and gasp for breath. He was hot, far too hot, and his heart was pounding. And then every muscle in his body clenched at once as he was hit with a pure, unadulterated pleasure that coursed through every fiber of his being. A moment later, his balls twitched convulsively, and he spurted a hot, milky liquid all over himself.

Karchak was groaning and rutting against Tano's cock, and then he, too, spent fluid all over them both before collapsing away from Tano onto the floor, rather than forward into Tano's arms. Which. Good. Even after what they'd just shared, Tano was honestly still repulsed by the idea of anything resembling intimacy with the little weasel.

"Fuck," Tano groaned. "That was..." The words that immediately sprang to mind were 'life-changing'. But he discarded the thought as soon as he'd had it. His p-- his cock was already softening, and clarity was returning, which was such a fucking relief that Tano barely kept himself from laughing. "Is it always this messy?"

Karchak did laugh. "Not a whit of sentiment," he wheezed. "Never change." He sat up and pulled a cloth out of his pocket, which he used to clean himself up before handing it to Tano. "Yes. It usually is."

There was silence as they both put themselves back in order.

Finally, Tano couldn't stand it anymore. "So. This doesn't mean..."

"Of course not," Karchak snapped. "I can't fucking stand you."

"Believe me, the feeling is mutual!"

Karchak's jaw clenched and unclenched. "This changes nothing." And there it was - the first lie. But a lie to himself, just as much as it was a lie to Tano.

Tano leaned forward, grabbed Karchak's beard, and tugged lightly. "I wouldn't say that," he said softly. When Karchak's lips parted with undeniable interest, Tano smirked and let him go.

"It doesn't change anything emotionally," Karchak spat, green eyes blazing. "You're still the fucking worst."

"High praise coming from you," Tano replied, smiling sweetly.

Karchak smiled right back. "You know, hate fucking is even more intense."

Tano blushed right up to his hairline.

"Come back when you've gotten tired of your hand, and I might deign to show you," the dwarf said with a triumphant smirk before turning to unlock the door. "You can see yourself out."

- - -

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The next morning, Tano woke up with a sense of anticipation instead of dread. The ache in his penis was pleasant rather than painful, and quickly turned to pleasure when he started touching himself. His pleasure quickly ran its course, and when it was over Tano was astonished by how clear-headed he felt.

Curious to see how long-lasting the effects would be, he thought about Eldreth's breasts, and the look of desire on her face as she'd sucked her finger at him. There was the curious feeling of emotional arousal without any physical change, as though his member wanted to harden but couldn't manage it just then.

Fortified with the knowledge that he could master these urges, Tano went to Eldreth's.

Eldreth waved when he walked in. "Hello, Tano!"

"I'm afraid I don't have time to stay for breakfast this morning," he said awkwardly when he reached the front of the line.

"Do you want a scone to go, then?"

"Yes. Please."

Eldreth extracted a scone from the case and wrapped it in waxed paper. "You know, I didn't see you leave last night."

"Duty called," he lied stiffly. "I hope you had a good time with your friends."

"I did," Eldreth responded, looking pleased.

Tano blushed when her hand brushed his as she took his payment. "I'm sorry for running off the other day. I'm... When I was away..."

Eldreth shook her head. "I heard about what happened," she said quietly.

Tano couldn't help showing his dismay.

"Sorry." Eldreth gave a rueful half-smile. "But the shifter Commander of the City Watch siding against his own people and getting cursed by a god isn't the sort of tale adventurers can keep to themselves. It was all over town as soon as you got back."

Dammit. So that's how Karchak had known. "Yes. Well. It's all been... a lot to adjust to."

"I'm sure it is," Eldreth said kindly.

The door opened as several people came in behind him. "Perhaps I'll see you tomorrow?"

Eldreth smiled. "Tomorrow, then. Have a good day."

⚔ ⚔ ⚔

That morning, Tano actually managed to focus on his job.

In the afternoon, he went out to prowl the markets, which took him past the stall of an exotic fruit vendor he'd passed a hundred times without ever paying attention to their wares. Today, however, a bright yellow fruit caught his eye.

"Excuse me. Can you tell me what this is?"

⚔ ⚔ ⚔

After making his purchase, Tano went straight to The Drunken Lord.

Karchak was taking advantage of the post-lunch lull to clean the bar. He smiled smugly when he saw Tano come in. "You lasted longer than I thought you would."

Tano smiled brightly as he took a seat at the bar. "Oh, I'm not here for that."

Karchak's eyes narrowed. "Then what--"

Tano pulled the yellow fruit out of his jacket pocket and held it up for Karchak to see. "I found something in the market you might be interested in," he said as he opened the yellow peel. "It's called a banana." He kept his eyes on Karchak's as he slowly wrapped his lips around the pale inner fruit, bit off the tip, and chewed.

Karchak wasn't smiling anymore. When Tano grinned devilishly and licked a stripe up the underside, he actually whimpered.
Tano winked jauntily and got off his stool. "Good day to you."

He walked away laughing.

⚔ ⚔ ⚔

The next day, Tano found himself doing a strange dance as he fumbled through the steps of possible courtship with Eldreth and definitely-not-courtship with Karchak.

Eldreth's was busier than usual, which meant Eldreth wasn't able to do more than engage in a bit of flirtation before Tano had to move on.
Tano dropped in on Karchak's immediately afterward (he liked to keep his visits unpredictable) and was delighted to see the smugglers he'd been after for weeks just settling into a negotiation. The bastards had been stealing sacred cultural relics from immigrants and refugees and selling them to asshole art collectors, and Tano had been trying to catch them in the middle of a deal for weeks.

Not wanting to tip them off, he snuck into an unoccupied room, dropped out the window into the alley behind the tavern, and jogged to the nearest Watch station to get reinforcements. Ten minutes later, Tano and several other officers burst into the tavern and arrested the smugglers, who were kind enough to have brought a sample of their stolen merchandise with them.

Karchak, of course, was all wounded innocence. "I would have turned them in if I'd known."

Tano growled. He knew Karchak was involved, even if he couldn't prove it.

Karchak smiled and suggestively fondled the neck of the wine bottle he was holding. "Offer's still open," he murmured.

With a snort, Tano returned to his officers and joined them in hauling the thieves in.

⚔ ⚔ ⚔

Tano found himself considering Karchak's... invitation off and on throughout the afternoon. While he in no way felt the level of urgency that had driven him into Karchak's store room in the first place, he couldn't deny that he was tempted.

However, when it came to open offers for sex, Eldreth's was far more tempting.

Tano went to Eldreth's just before closing, and found her wiping down the tables.

"Tano!" Eldreth blinked in surprise. "We're just about to close."

"I know," Tano replied awkwardly. "I was hoping we could... talk."

"Of course!" Eldreth turned to the woman behind the counter - a slender woman of mixed elvish ancestry with silver hair and copper skin. "Do you mind finishing up, Adelaine?"

The other woman waved her off. "Not a problem. Just lock the door, please."

Eldreth left her rag on the counter, then turned to Tano with a bright smile. "Do you want to walk me back to my apartment?"

"I would like that."

Once they were out in the street, Tano awkwardly offered her his arm, and her face lit up with delight as she took it. "So what did you want to talk about?"

Tano's heart started beating faster. "I've only been human for a few days, so I hope it's not unforgivably blunt if I say directly that... that I'm attracted to you. I get the feeling you want to be. Ah. Intimate. And I'm... I'm very... interested, if that's the case." He spoke falteringly, with lots of stops and starts, and was tremendously grateful when Eldreth didn't interrupt him or laugh as Karchak would have done.

"You're very sweet," she surprised him by saying. "And I like not beating around the bush, so in the spirit of rudely blunt honesty..." She tilted her head, her honey-golden eyes twinkling with mischief. "By 'intimate', can I assume that you mean sex?"

Tano's ears burned, and Eldreth laughed, though not cruelly. "Yes," he managed. "But I'm afraid I don't know how, or if I'll be any good."

Eldreth was grinning nearly ear-to-ear, completely unbothered by his admission. "You don't need to worry about that," she said firmly. "I had a permanent contraceptive charm done years ago, by the way. I can show you the tattoo when we're at my place."

Tano blinked, realizing that he had overlooked that important consideration. "Thank you for telling me," he said gravely.

It didn't take long to get to Eldreth's apartment, which was only a few blocks from the cafe. She was renting the entire top floor of a former merchant's townhouse that had been converted to separate flats. "Sorry about the stairs," she said as she led him up the two flights to her rooms. "It's good exercise, though. Keeps my butt looking nice." The last was delivered with a flirtatious wink over her shoulder at Tano.
Eldreth's apartment, while still modest, was much larger than Tano's. The large window in the sitting room was surrounded by a small jungle of plants, and the furniture appeared to be a mix of original furnishings and second-hand pieces. Somehow the overall effect was harmonious, rather than chaotic.

Eldreth turned the gas lights on to low, then closed the cheerful yellow drapes, before coming back to Tano, who - unsure of what to do with himself - had remained by the door after he'd removed his boots. Eldreth's eyes were on a level with his own (which was strange, he wasn't used to people being able to look him in the eye comfortably), and there was no trace of teasing or frivolity in her gaze as she wrapped her arms around his waist, slotting her body against his as neatly as if it had been designed to fit there.

Tano blushed, already feeling out of his depth. "Wh-what do I do with my hands?"

Eldreth tilted her head forward so that her lips were almost touching his as she answered. "You can start by putting them on my hips."

Tano lifted his hands to her hips and closed his eyes as Eldreth's mouth moved against his. When she probed at his lips with her tongue, he parted them instinctively, and she licked into his mouth with a small breathy noise of enjoyment. He did his best to copy her movements, which earned another pleased noise from Eldreth as she pressed herself even more tightly against him.

Tano was throbbing with arousal by the time she broke the kiss.

"I've... I've never kissed anyone before," Tano said self-consciously.

Eldreth smiled. "I'm happy I could be your first." She gave him another brief but intense kiss before asking, "do you want to be naked with me?"

"Yes," Tano said quickly, answering before she'd even finished asking the question.

She laughed, and things became a bit of a scramble. Eldreth helped him unbutton his jacket, working the buttons up from the bottom as he worked down from the top before they got tangled up briefly as both of them tried to remove his shirt.

Once he was shirtless, Eldreth kicked out of her smallclothes while Tano fumbled ineffectually with the ties on the front of her dress. She had to help him loosen them before Tano could push the dress off her shoulders to puddle on the floor. She shucked her chest wrap impatiently, causing her breasts to fall free, and tossed it to the side.

Tano was entranced at the sight of her nudity. Her breasts were large without being so heavy that they sagged, and were perfectly proportioned to balance shoulders and arms that were nearly a match for Karchak's (though they lacked his definition). And her waist, while far from slender, drew in pleasingly before the swell of her sensuously large hips and thighs.

Eldreth smiled sweetly. "Like what you see?" she asked, glancing down significantly at Tano's erection.

"Yes," he groaned. "Gods, yes."

When his fingers were too clumsy with desire to manage his belt, Eldreth helped him out of it, then pulled off his pants and smalls in one fluid movement.

Again, he couldn't help but think of Karchak. Tano had been nearly fully clothed during his encounter with Karchak, who had confined his attentions to only Tano's cock. Whereas here he was with Eldreth, fully naked and feeling somehow less vulnerable as her golden eyes ranged all over his body.

"Very nice," she murmured before he could ask.

Tano groaned as she skimmed her fingers lightly along his length, then stroked him slowly.

Eldreth's eyes went wide. "Fuck, that's so hot."

She pushed him backward onto the couch and sat astride him the way Karchak had, but that was where the comparison ended. For one, her couch was much more comfortable than sitting on the floor and leaning against a hard crate. And again, they were naked rather than clothed, and the places where she pressed against him - her thighs, her butt, her breasts - were warm, and so incredibly soft.

The look in her eyes was intense as she tipped forward to kiss him again, and this time Tano was able to reciprocate less clumsily, his lingering anxiety fading in the face of her obvious enthusiasm. Eldreth sighed into his mouth and started carding her fingers through his hair, which somehow felt more intimate than if she'd gone straight for his dick. After a few minutes of kissing - which Tano honestly would have been happy to do forever - he grew relaxed enough to start exploring her body with his hands, first touching her thighs, then her ass, before grazing his hands up her sides.

When he finally made contact with her breasts, Eldreth pulled away with a soft gasp, and Tano was delighted to see her neck and chest already flushed with arousal.

"What... what do you want me to do?" Tano asked, suddenly worried that he'd say or do the wrong thing and spoil the mood.

"Before I fuck you," Eldreth said, her tone matter-of-fact. "I'd like you to play with my breasts."

Tano flushed. "Play with?"

Eldreth shrugged. "Touch them. Suck on them."

He swallowed and nodded. Eldreth leaned back as Tano grabbed her breasts, which were more than a handful even for his large hands. He squeezed them experimentally, leery at first of hurting her.

"More," Eldreth moaned, throwing her head back in pleasure.

Encouraged by her reaction, Tano caught her nipples between his thumb and fore finger and squeezed harder, which made her moan even more loudly. "Can I kiss them?"

"Gods yes."

He bent his neck to pull her nipple into his mouth, sucked hard, and was rewarded with the unexpected pressure of Eldreth's palm against his now-leaking member.

"Oh gods," he gasped. "Sorry, I--"

"I want you inside me," Eldreth interrupted as she raised herself up on her knees.

Tano watched, transfixed, as her hand slipped into the verdant patch of hair between her legs to part her lower lips. Her other hand circled his erect member, positioning him so that he was at the correct angle, and then she was lowering herself onto him, engulfing him with her warm wetness. Tano gasped and clutched instinctively at her butt, and found it very pleasing to hold on to.

She rode him slowly at first, and even that was nearly more than Tano could bear. Karchak's hand had felt good, but the feeling of her wet inner walls as she slid along his length was incredible. His pleasure was further enhanced by the fact that Eldreth was fully in control. He was inside her because she wanted him there, because having him there made her feel good.

Gradually, she picked up the pace, until there was no room for thought at all. There was only the sound of their moaning, the slap of her thighs against his, and a flood of exquisite sensation.

Tano still didn't have any idea how to judge these things, but Karchak's reaction to his short fuse made him worried that Eldreth would be disappointed in him for climaxing too quickly. "I'm... oh gods, Eldreth, I can't--"

She shushed him. "Yes," she moaned, not slackening her pace at all. "You're so fucking sexy. I want you to come inside me."

So he did.

It wasn't anything like it had been with Karchak - the humiliating end of a frantic encounter meant to achieve orgasm as fast as possible. Nor was it like the pleasure he had given himself. Tano thrust up into her, feeling his balls twitch and pulse as his cock pumped ejaculate into her. Into the crevice specifically designed for that function. Humanoid reproduction.

Right. There it was again - biological imperative. The reason contraceptive charms existed.

"Oh gods," Eldreth gasped, her fingers moving furiously between her legs as she continued to drive herself down onto his cock.

Tano watched wonderingly as she cried out and clenched around him with her own orgasm, amazed that he could affect her so profoundly, that she could take just as much pleasure in his body as he had taken in hers.

When her frenzy had passed, she collapsed forward against him to rest her sweat-damp forehead against his shoulder - another point of dissimilarity. The idea of holding Karchak during their post-orgasmic euphoria had felt so wrong. But being like this, holding Eldreth as they both panted and trembled through the aftershocks of their pleasure... It felt right. Safe.

"That was..." Tano was struck by a sudden pang of anxiety. Had he been too passive? Eldreth had done all the work. "I mean. Was that... okay?"

"Oh you adorable man." Eldreth laughed tiredly as she raised her head and placed a kiss on the end of his nose. "Your first time, and you were worried about me?"

Tano shrugged, embarrassed. "It seemed courteous to ask."

Eldreth kissed him softly - a reassuring kiss without any amorous intent. "Yes, it was good. It was very, very good."

Tano's stomach chose that moment to growl loudly, and he blushed as he realized that he'd been so excited to have sex with Eldreth that he'd completely forgotten to eat dinner. "I'm sorry, I sort of... forgot to eat."

Eldreth grinned and climbed off him. "Let me get cleaned up, and we can get some dinner. And then maybe we could go again, and take our time this time?"

Tano grinned back. "I'd like that."

After dinner, they passed a very agreeable hour in a slow, mutual exploration of each other's bodies. To Tano's relief, Eldreth wasn't at all put out that Tano came twice to her once, saying that it was both a tremendous compliment and extremely sexy.

The post-coital cuddling was wonderful enough to be its own revelation, but Tano declined Eldreth's invitation to stay the night, preferring to spend the night in his own space.

The next morning, he made a point of stopping at The Drunken Lord.

When Tano sat down at the bar, Karchak looked him over and whistled. "Well! Our little Tano has become a man."

Tano blinked in confusion. "I... have always been a man. Nothing about my gender has changed."

Karchak rolled his eyes and leaned forward, speaking just loud enough for Tano to hear. "I meant that you got it wet with Eldreth last night, didn't you?"

Tano made a face. "You're disgusting."

"Only because you hate it," Karchak shot back with a smirk.

Tano huffed and lowered his voice, not wanting anyone to overhear what came next. "Yes. Well. As I won't have to rely on my hand for the foreseeable future, I'm afraid I'm not interested in fucking you."

Karchak laughed and shook his head. "Tano, Tano, Tano," he said in an equally low voice. "I didn't say anything about you fucking me."

Tano gave Karchak a horrified look. "You mean..."

"Oh yes," Karchak replied, waggling his eyebrows.

"Wh-why would I let you do that?"

"Because unless I'm assuming incorrectly, Eldreth can't fuck you like I can. And because she's nice, and sweet, and soft. And she likes you. And I... don't."

Tano's thoughts ground to a halt as his brain got into a heated argument with his cock. Where he stood with Karchak had seemed so simple and straight-forward when he was in Eldreth's arms. But here, confronted with the reality of their mutual hatred and the undeniable sexual tension it inspired, Tano couldn't help but feel turned on as he contemplated what being penetrated by Karchak's thick cock would feel like.

Karchak knew he had Tano on the ropes and pressed his advantage even further. He crooked his finger at Tano, and - like a sucker - Tano leaned closer. "She wouldn't take you back to her office and take you over her desk while she called you humiliating names," he whispered into Tano's ear.

Tano fled.

* * *

It was almost a relief when a minor diplomatic incident suddenly became a major incident after being blown out of proportion by the morning edition of Tinora's largest newspaper, which subsequently almost caused a riot. Tano had his hands full making sure no violence erupted, and spent the next several days too busy to do more than occasionally worry about the situation his dick had gotten him into.

He knew what the smartest course of action was - keep seeing Eldreth and tell Karchak to go fuck himself. Unfortunately, his cock had... other ideas. Namely that it did want Karchak to fuck him, please and thank you, and it didn't intend to back down on the matter.

Either way, he needed to talk to Eldreth.

Tano went to the cafe practically the moment the foreign delegation left with the signed trade agreement, and was relieved when Eldreth didn't appear to be put out with him for vanishing right after they'd slept together for the first time.

"I was wondering when I'd see you," she said, giving him a bright smile.

"It's been a busy few days," Tano said ruefully.

"I can imagine," Eldreth replied dryly.

Tano was pleased when Eldreth was able to join him for a late lunch. "Any interest in coming over tonight?" she asked as she cut into a slice of egg-and-cheese pie. "Or I could come over to your place?"

Tano was distracted from the question he'd intended to ask by the sudden anxiety that he was navigating a script he didn't know by heart, the way everyone else seemed to. "I'm. I'm very interested, but..."

Eldreth's expression was gentle as she laid a hand on his arm. "You can be honest with me, Tano."

He nodded. Swallowed. "I just want to be clear that... I'm still getting over feelings for someone else. I don't know if I can get into a romantic relationship right now."

Eldreth shook her head. "That's just fine with me. I just got out of a fifteen-year marriage to an utter slime ball, so I'm really not looking for commitment."

Tano blinked in surprise at her response. "Then why... I mean. What could I..."

Eldreth shrugged, and when she spoke her tone was reassuringly casual. "You're lovely, and sweet, and surprisingly gentle, given your reputation and what you do. And I know where I stand with you, unlike my lying, cheating, emotionally abusive ex-husband. I enjoy spending time with you, and I enjoy the sex, and as long as we're both having fun I'd like to keep seeing you. But I don't expect commitment, or even want it really."

Tano thought this over, then nodded slowly. "Your honesty is... refreshing. Thank you." Then, because he was too curious not to ask. "Fifteen years is a long time. Why did you stay?"

She sighed and pushed a bit of crust around the plate with her fork. "He was different in the beginning. And we went through these... cycles. Where he'd reform and things would be good for a while before backsliding into being horrible again, and it took a really long time for me to accept that he didn't ever intend to change for good. But even when things were awful..." Eldreth smiled self-consciously. "The sex was amazing." She hesitated, before adding in a small voice, "you probably wouldn't understand."

"I want to," Tano replied quietly.

For a moment, he thought Eldreth wasn't going to answer. But then she started to speak, and he realized she had simply been searching for the right words.

"When things were going well, the sex was... It was alright. Got the job done. But when we hated each other, it was... mind-blowing. The most cathartic sex of my life, even if I usually felt like shit about myself after." Eldreth grimaced self-consciously before continuing. "Don't get me wrong, the sex we've had is every bit as good, but it's very different. When I was with him, we were both completely selfish and didn't give a shit about each other's pleasure, which. I don't know. Made knowing that he was still so hot for me anyway feel really powerful."

Tano's face must have been doing something funny, because Eldreth gave a forced laugh and looked away. "I'm okay now, though. It wasn't as awful as it sounds."

"N-no," Tano stammered. "I mean, I'm glad. I'm just surprised because." He stopped, took a deep breath, then continued in a much lower voice. "I think I know what you mean?"

Eldreth's eyebrows shot up, but her expression was intrigued rather than upset. "Really," she breathed. "Do tell."

Tano blushed, suddenly very conscious of their too-public surroundings. "I'd like to," he mumbled. "I just don't feel comfortable having that conversation... here."

Eldreth's smile was understanding. "Tonight, then?"

Tano smiled back and squeezed her hand. "Tonight."

* * *

Eldreth had a basket over one arm when Tano arrived to meet her. "I took the liberty of picking up dinner," she said, lifting the towel to reveal a freshly baked meat pie. "Hopefully you don't mind spice."

"We'll find out," Tano said agreeably.

They talked of inconsequentials until they were safely alone. Eldreth's eyes twinkled as she served Tano a large slice and watched him closely as he took his first bite. The crust was flaky and delicious, and the filling was meaty, richly seasoned, and... spicy enough to make his lips tingle. "It's good," he proclaimed. "I might have to eat slowly, though."

Eldreth smiled and dug into her own equally large slice with relish. "So," she said, a mischievous smile curving her lips. "Hate sex. Given that you haven't been human very long, I'm very curious."

Tano grimaced. "There's someone I've known for a long time. An enemy, if it's not too melodramatic to say that. We've been butting heads for ten years because... he's selfish, and manipulative, and a cheat, and a thief. So it's sort of... our job to hate each other? He tries to get things past me, and I try to catch him, and we spend so much time analyzing each other that... I don't think anyone's ever known me as well as he does.

"And before I became... this, it wasn't sexual or romantic. There was never any hint of that. But then this... this body happened, and it added another dimension to our. Uh. Dynamic. And sexuality was so overwhelming and confusing, and..." Tano realized his heart was pounding, and even with Eldreth's expression of open sympathy, it was hard to force the words out. "It was before we slept together, you and I, I mean. But we had an... encounter. Not sex, not exactly. But it made what you described sound... familiar."

Eldreth's expression was uncharacteristically serious as she waited to be sure he was finished speaking, then shook her head.

"I can't imagine how overwhelming it must be having to figure all of this out at the same time."

Tano laughed bitterly. "It has been. But." He grappled with himself, hating that it was so hard to describe feelings he didn't entirely understand. "Being with you makes me feel like it might be worth it?"

Eldreth's eyes lit with genuine pleasure, and she leaned over to give Tano a brief kiss that did much to soothe his nerves. "I'm glad."

Tano took a deep breath. "He's made it clear that he wants to... to do more with me. And. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested."

"It sounds like he can offer you something I can't," Eldreth replied calmly. When Tano stared at her in open shock, she shrugged. "If you wanted to... explore with him further, that would be fine with me. Truly." Her eyes sparkled as she added, "as long as he doesn't mind sharing."

Just like that, the weight he'd been carrying vanished, leaving Tano feeling almost giddy. "I don't intend to give him a choice."

Author's note: My WoL is a non-binary viera.

----

3.0 - AFTER THE VAULT

Count Edmont retired with his sons to mourn privately, but there was no escape to be found from his grief, or mine, within these walls - I couldn't stop hearing the clatter of Count Edmont's cane as it fell to the floor, and him with it.

He had begged me to keep my counsel, and so I held back the words that I longed to speak, that I needed to speak, of the moment when Heurchefant had given his life for mine with his customarily effortless gallantry. We'd clasped hands as friends one last time as his life's blood spilled out onto the stone walkway, and that dear, brave fool had been so relieved to see me unharmed that he'd even admonished me to smile before the spark of life left his eyes and his hand went slack in mine.

Alphinaud and Tataru withdrew to their rooms to mourn appropriately in private. I, on the other hand, threw on a coat against the chill Ishgardian night and went out to stalk the city.

Gods be damned, how many times was I going to have to live this nightmare? How many times would I have to watch good people try, and sometimes succeed, to throw their lives away to save mine?

Ul'Dahn greed had forced me to seek refuge in Ishgard after a scheme that had cost my friends and I nearly everything. Of all that had sacrificed themselves to allow me to escape that farce of a banquet, only Thancred had yet been found. General Raubahn, who had fought to allow our escape, had not only lost an arm, but had been imprisoned and tortured as well. That the charges against the Scions had been dismissed changed nothing - Ilberd and his traitorous lieutenants had vanished, and those in the Syndicate that had funded his coup wouldn't even get a slap on the wrist for their part in a debacle that had nearly claimed the Sultana's life. All because Raubahn had had the poor taste to murder the grasping snake who orchestrated the coup in the first place, which had been a far more merciful death than the miserable bastard had deserved.

And now here I was, watching it all play out again.

Knowing that we would inevitably expose the truth at the heart of the Dragonsong War, the Holy See had barely waited a week after our arrival to charge Alphinaud and Tataru with heresy. When that hadn't been sufficient to scare us off, they'd imprisoned and tortured Ser Aymeric, murdered Heurchefant, then just left as he lay bleeding to death.

Was there no true justice in the world?

Was this to be my fate until the end of my days - striving to aid those in need, only to have those I loved persecuted by the vampires who benefited from the current social order?

I wanted to scream. Wanted to go to the Forgotten Knight, get astoundingly drunk, and start a bar fight with a bunch of pampered nobles. But that would only make things more difficult for the Count - of whose house I was still a ward. So I prowled the Brume hoping that someone would try to mug me, but of course no one was foolish enough to make the attempt.

I walked until I could no longer feel my fingers or toes, and my face burned with the cold. Finally, not knowing where else to go, my feet carried me to the Congregation of Our Knights Most Heavenly.

Lucia was sitting in her usual place outside Ser Aymeric's office, looking even more grim-faced than usual. "Master Merouc."

"I'm here to see Ser Aymeric."

I'd expected to be told that Ser Aymeric was resting, but Lucia surprised me by nodding. "He's left orders that you're to be allowed to see him. Come."

She stood and led me up the stairs to a private room in the Infirmary, then bowed and left.

Despite the late hour, Ser Aymeric was reading. He looked up as I entered, marked the page he was on, and set the book down on the window ledge. At his gesture, I closed the door behind me and trudged woodenly forward to collapse into the chair at his bedside.

"You should be resting," Aymeric chided gently. "You look as terrible as I feel."

I knew the comment was meant as a jest, but rage and grief bubbled up in me. "He was the only person willing to be our friend when we needed one," I said, feeling as though I was tearing the words out of my flesh. "After that farce of a banquet and those trumped-up charges, everyone turned their back on us."

Even you. I didn't say the words, but Aymeric flinched as he heard them anyway.

"Heurchefant didn't have to stick his neck out for us," I added. "He risked his reputation, which was already tarnished by being a bastard, to ensure our safety. It would have been easier for him to do nothing, But he did."

Aymeric said nothing, just watched me with dark blue eyes full of compassion. Watched and listened, and Gods help me, but I didn't have it in me to be Hydaelyn's Chosen just then.

"Heurchefant was one of the only truly good men I have ever known. People mocked him for being a bastard who somehow still believed in heroes, but he never struggled with right and wrong. Whereas I... I am called Warrior of Light, despite the darkness that I wrestle with each day, because I am strong.

"But strength isn't goodness. I don't know that I'll ever be able to cross Ul'Dah's gates without wanting to sink a knife in that snake Lolorito's throat for what he's cost me and mine. But Heurchefant... he would have..." My throat grew too thick for speech, so I sat and trembled with the effort required to keep my control, only for Aymeric to weaken it with his next words.

"My friend," he said softly.

The echo of what Heurchefant had always called me was too much for me to bear. I looked away to hide the tears I couldn't stop from falling, yet I stubbornly kept my voice even as I replied. "My grief is nothing compared to that of his family. Of his brothers in arms."

"Grief isn't a competition," Aymeric said gently.

I covered my mouth too late to stop the sob that escaped, nor could I prevent the one that followed. So I folded myself nearly in half and shook with a grief so intense it felt as if I might be torn apart.

"My friend, you are right." Aymeric's voice was hesitant, but the grasp of his hand on my knee was firm. "I have wronged you most shamefully. Your innocence was plain, but I did nothing, because it would have been politically inconvenient. And yet, you not only saved my unworthy life, but you have been the instrument of Ishgard's salvation several times over. Will you allow me to offer a pittance of redress?" When I shuddered and looked up to meet his gaze, Aymeric carefully scooted over and held his arms open. "You can rage, or cry, or whatever you need, and no one but myself or Lucia, whose discretion I can and have trusted with my life, will ever be the wiser."

I knew the instant it was offered that there was no way I could say no. Both Alphinaud and Tataru were too green to truly understand a warrior's rage and grief, and I badly needed this outlet.

I nodded, awkwardly shed my coat and boots, and - after considering how I could avoid further injuring Aymeric's bruised ribs - curled up with my head in his lap. For the next... half hour? Hour? He patiently stroked my hair as I clung to his legs and alternately sobbed and ranted until the storm of grief was spent.

When I had lain trembling and silent for several minutes, Aymeric reached up to activate the linkpearl in his earring. "Lucia. Master Merouc requires water. A lot of water, and... perhaps a selection of fruit?"

I nodded wearily.

"Some fruit, then. Your discretion will, of course, be required."

Lucia herself entered not more than a minute later with the requested provisions. Too exhausted to care about how miserable I looked, I didn't stir as Aymeric directed her to set the tray on the window ledge.

"Sit up," Aymeric ordered.

Unable to muster the will to argue, I complied, even though it left me pressed awkwardly against Aymeric's side. He handed me a full glass of water, which I needed no urging to drain in its entirety.

I had another two glasses and most of a pear before I was too unpleasantly full for anything more.

"I should go," I rasped hoarsely.

Aymeric frowned, looking as if he was choosing his next words with great care. "I do not wish to be misunderstood, so I will preface this offer by saying that this is not a proposition or a seduction. But." He squeezed my shoulder gently. "If you do not wish to return to Manor Fortemps tonight, you can stay with me."

I hesitated, wanting the comfort, but not so badly that I wanted to stay if he was only offering out of a sense of obligation.

"I won't be offended if you choose to say no."

"Then. Yes. Thank you."

Since two slept considerably warmer in a small bed than one, I removed my shirt and vest before getting into bed, then made Aymeric shift to the side closest to the door, so that he wouldn't have to injure himself climbing over me if he needed to get up in the middle of the night. It took a minute to find a position that was comfortable and didn't require either of us to dangle over the edge, but finally we ended up with Aymeric on his back and me curled against his side with my head on his shoulder.

"Rest, my friend. We will face it all together in the morning."

I closed my eyes, not expecting to sleep, and feel instantly into blackness.

- - -

I woke up groggy and confused at slightly past dawn the following morning, and struggled to make sense of my surroundings.

My bare chest was pressed against a broad, muscular back, in what was very much not my bed at Manor Fortemps - which suggested I'd attempted to drown my grief by getting drunk and hooking up with some anonymous knight or mercenary. I couldn't remember having sex, but I certainly felt awful enough to have been blackout drunk when it happened, and I couldn't imagine feeling comfortable sharing such a tiny bed with anyone I hadn't fucked.

My already-hard cock stirred, registering its interest in exploring the warm body we were curled around, since we couldn't remember doing it the first time. So, since my bed mate and I had presumably fucked already and today was going to be difficult enough without adding 'sexual frustration' to my long list of very potent woes, I squeezed my bed partner's waist and kissed their shoulder. "Good morning," I murmured.

They stirred and made a sleepy noise. When I ran my hand up one powerful flank, they shifted to press back against me with a noise that might have been interest.

I groaned, rutting against them as I curled my arm around their waist, and...

Look. I'm not proud of this, all right?

I was hung over from too much weeping and desperate for a small moment of bliss before I had to take up the mantle of the Warrior of Light once more. Which isn't an excuse for what happened next - groping someone who is asleep because they weren't immediately unreceptive is inexcusable, and I know that.

But, nevertheless, it's what I did.

I reached around to grip their cock through the soft fabric of their pajama pants, and found it just as hard as mine. My bed partner moaned and bucked against my hand, and I was just about to slip that hand under the waistband of their pants when I finally woke up enough to remember where I was and who I was with.

At which point I disengaged so hurriedly that I would have fallen out of bed if I wasn't on the side right against the wall.

"I'm so, so sorry," I stammered as I tried and was not able to put any amount of distance between us.

Gods, how had we managed to sleep in this tiny bed? Aymeric was so tall, and while I was short by the standards of my own people, I was still taller than Thancred. Even after flattening myself completely against the cold stone wall, there were still so many points of contact, and my only options for escape were either climbing over Aymeric (not an option) or out a second story window (rapidly becoming an option).

Aymeric turned around and caught my wrist before I could do more than brace my elbow on the window sill, and for a wonder his expression held nothing but understanding. "Anyone would have been disoriented after the circumstances of what you have just been through. Rest assured that I am not angry, and on my honor as a Knight I will tell no one of this."

I stared at him in wide-eyed shock, but finally I managed a hoarse "thank you".

I must still have looked quite the madman - Aymeric released my wrist dubiously, as though he expected me to attempt escape through the window anyway - and there was an excruciating eternity of eye contact before he sighed. "One night of comfort does little to redress a debt that I can never repay. Would you allow me to. Ah. Provide you some... relief?"

Gods help me, my face and my cock were both on fire. "I don't want to fuck anyone who feels obligated to be with me," I snapped.

Aymeric smiled ruefully and shook his head. "I didn't mean it like that. I offer because I want to. Because your pain grieves me, and..." He paused and laid a hand on my knee, and when he continued his voice was warm and entreating. "Because you're beautiful."

I blinked stupidly at him. "You think I'm beautiful?"

Amusement twinkled in Aymeric's ice-blue eyes, but he kindly did not laugh. "I do. And let you think I'm harboring some wish for deathless romance, I know there is no chance of that. My heart belongs to another, and your road will eventually take you away from Ishgard, whereas my place will always be here. And... I won't be offended if you say no."

I searched his face intently, but found only sincerity. Which, once again, was enough to convince me to accept his offer. "Then... how...?"

Aymeric's gaze was soft and so full of warmth as he gazed up at me. "Lie back."

I did, and Aymeric found a position that allowed him to nuzzle my erection through the fabric of my trousers as he unbuttoned my fly. I groaned as I impatiently kicked them off, only for Aymeric to take hold of my wrists, pinning them to the mattress before I could pull down my drawers.

He stopped my struggling with a stern look and again, I found myself caught off guard by his generosity. Given the enormity of our responsibilities, I had assumed he meant a rushed affair - just enough to bring me to orgasm and nothing more. But the tenderness in Aymeric's eyes was something I hadn't realized I needed until it was being offered.

"Oh," I said faintly. Unaccountably, I found myself welling up as he started to mouth me through the thin fabric of my drawers.

Satisfied that I wasn't going to continue trying to rush him, Aymeric released me, and I surrendered myself to his attentions.

When he finally started to peel drawers off, I found myself blushing. "I don't want to be the only one who's naked," I said self-consciously.

Aymeric smiled at me with understanding and stripped with brisk efficiency, revealing an expanse of lightly-scarred muscles that my imaginings could never have done justice. Then he knelt beside me, giving my cock the reverence he would give a saint as he engulfed the head with his mouth.

As before, his attentions were languid and unhurried without being teasing, his free hand working just as slow and steady at his own cock as he sucked me. My climax built with such exquisite slowness that I didn't realize how close I was until I cried out and came in his mouth. Aymeric swallowed me down without complaint, only pulling off of me when I started to go soft.

His eyes were unfocused and his breathing ragged as he stroked himself faster, clearly intending to finish himself quickly, but I surprised both of us by laying my hand over his. "Allow me?"

He nodded, eyes wide, and I wrapped my hand around him, running my thumb through the moisture leaking from his tip before I began to stroke him with the same unhurried deliberateness he had used on me. Even so, it didn't take long until he was gasping and trembling as he bucked into the circle of my hand.

"Come for me," I urged quietly.

Which he did, as beautifully as he did everything else. It was simultaneously a joy to watch and a relief to observe that I could enjoy his beauty without wanting to possess it.

Afterward, I buried my face in Aymeric's neck, and he held me tightly. For a few minutes I was safe in the shelter of his arms, and utterly, utterly cherished.

Of course, it couldn't last.

"As delightful as this is, I'm afraid I have duties that must be attended to," Aymeric said, his tenor voice heavy with regret.

I sighed. Nodded. "As do I. Obviously. Murderers to catch and all that."

Aymeric smiled and pressed a kiss to the tip of my nose. "My offer stands open, whenever you have need. I am here to provide..."

He hesitated, and I broke in, unable to resist the obvious pun. "Succor?"

Thankfully, even Aymeric wasn't too chivalrous to laugh at a dick joke. "That too, when time permits."

- - -

I did avail myself of Aymeric's comfort after that whenever I found myself in Ishgard and was not actively being stabbed, shot at, or preventing people from perpetrating the same on their fellow citizens. Often, we did have sex, but sometimes he just listened to me rage, or held me as I cried.

And no, it wasn't deathless romance, because I didn't love Aymeric romantically, and didn't think I ever would. It was something I needed far more than mere romance - closeness. Tenderness. And warm, human touch.

Lucia caught on fairly quickly to what was going on, but refused to acknowledge it, acting as if this was just another service I was performing for Ishgard.

- - -

4.0 - AFTER BEING DEFEATED BY ZENOS AT RHALGR'S REACH

In the end, Aymeric's prediction about our ultimate fates proved correct. I struck down both Archbishop Thordan and Nidhogg, then stood at Aymeric's side as he laid bare the true origin of the Dragonsong War before the people of Ishgard. It was a surprise only to Aymeric when they subsequently made him head of both church and state.

As Ishgard's attentions turned from war to the long, slow, tedious work of peace, escalating tensions with Garlemald meant that I was called away with increasing regularity. Finally, after the disastrous failure of the Eorzean campaign in Ala Mhigo, it was decided that a contingent of Scions would journey to Doma to aid Gosetsu and Yugiri's countrymen in their fight against the Empire, and I knew that my days of calling Ishgard home had reached an end.

It didn't seem right to leave without saying goodbye.

Lucia nodded at me solemnly as I walked in to the Congregation of Knights Most Heavenly, as though it hadn't been a month since she'd seen me.

"Is the Lord Commander busy?"

"For you, he is never too busy," she answered earnestly.

I blushed. "Thank you. For everything."

Lucia gave me a rare smile. "I'll see to it that you're not disturbed."

Rattled by her calm acceptance, I wasn't paying enough attention as I entered Aymeric's office to notice that the lamps had been turned down until the door had already latched quietly behind me. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust, and another much longer moment to register the meaning of what I saw: Aymeric bent over his desk against the back window, coat and pants removed and bare ass upturned. Behind him was a figure that, by the white hair and knightly dress, could only be Estinien, who was in a similar state of undress. The angle prevented me from actually seeing his cock, but the way his muscular thighs moved as he slowly pressed forward, I could easily imagine how it would look as he slowly sank inside the other man.

Aymeric cried out softly as he pressed back against Estinien, who - and perhaps I wronged him by assuming that he would be a forceful and impatient lover - unexpectedly showed Aymeric the same tenderness that Aymeric had always showed me as he brushed the hair from the back of Aymeric's neck and bent to lavish it with kisses. As he started to fuck Aymeric, his hips moved with a sinuous grace I found utterly captivating.

...Gods, what was I doing here?

I had to go. This was something private, not meant for me, but... what would I tell Lucia, who had thought that Aymeric was alone? She'd want a reason for my swift departure. I froze as I attempted to resolve the dilemma, but I was so hard I could barely breathe, let alone think.

Aymeric's face was soft with pleasure in a way that I had seen it many times before, and yet very much needed to not be seeing now, which made me decide to go and stonewall Lucia if need be. The Savior of Ishgard didn't have to explain themself if they didn't want to. But it was dark, and desire made me clumsy enough to trip and fall against the door as I turned to leave.

Movement stopped, and two sets of eyes turned toward me.

"I'm sorry," I choked out, turning red up to my scalp. "Lucia said you were alone."

"Yes. Well." Aymeric coughed and glanced at the window behind his desk, which was slightly ajar. Which was Estinien all over - why use the door when there's a perfectly good window?

I should go. I should make my apologies, and leave. And yet, I found myself frozen in place as I tried to explain the unexplainable. "I didn't mean... I-I'm leaving for Doma tomorrow, and..."

Aymeric exchanged a look with Estinien that was wholly unreadable to me, but Estinien nodded and pulled out of his lover, arranging his tunic so that he was covered before he turned around. Aymeric, however, continued looking at me over his shoulder and remained as he was - legs spread and ass open. "You don't have to go."

"I don't?" I wanted to leave, but my traitor feet carried me forward anyway.

Estinien shrugged, his guarded expression giving me no clues to his thoughts. "Your claim precedes mine."

"It's not..." I stopped and swallowed hard. "Aymeric is my friend, but he loves you," I protested, knowing without ever having been told that Estinien was the one who Aymeric had given his heart to.

Estinien's brows hit the ceiling, and now both of us were looking at Aymeric in confusion. By the look on Aymeric's face, my guess had struck the mark. However, Estinien's reaction made it plain that Aymeric hadn't seen fit to share that fact with him.

Gods above and below I was making an unholy mess of this. "What... what do you want, Aymeric?"

Aymeric's blue eyes looked at me unflinchingly. "I'd like to send you off in the manor you had envisioned," he replied, then cast an uncertain glance at Estinien. "And... if you don't find the idea repugnant, I'd like Estinien to stay. I don't wish there to be secrets between us."

I hadn't a jot of attraction toward the Azure Dragoon, but... I couldn't say that Aymeric's proposal didn't have a certain appeal.

Estinien gave a typically Estinien shrug. "If there is no question of where the allegiance of his heart lies, I would not mind sharing his body with you as comrades on the eve of battle."

My face was so warm that my cheeks felt painful and crisp, and I had a sudden flash of insight as to the appeal of Ishgardian knightly circumlocution. Couching the proposal in flowery language surely made it easier to say than 'Since you're off to get butchered by the Garleans, I don't mind if you fuck my boyfriend while I watch'.

I nodded, looked away, and started to remove my coat.

Estinien looked amused at my discomfort as he retrieved his pants, folded them with great fastidiousness, and set them down on Aymeric's chair - which had been pushed against the wall - before seating himself. I resisted the impulse to turn away as I removed my pants - Aymeric had already seen my cock, and it would be impossible for Estinien not to see it if he was going to watch me while I fucked his lover with it.

Aymeric nodded at the vial of oil on his desk, which I used to lubricate myself. As Estinien had already worked Aymeric open for me, I slid into him easily, burying myself completely with a groan. As I started to move inside him, Aymeric braced his weight on his elbows and arched his back, just as he had when it had been Estinien's cock inside him.

Estinien pulled his tunic aside and started to stroke himself slowly as he watched us, which heightened both my nervousness and my arousal. My self-consciousness about having an audience vanished fairly quickly, however, as I lost myself for a few minutes in Aymeric's weat heat, the bliss on his face, and the noises he made each time I thrust into him.

Eventually, Estinien's soft breathing gave way to low moans. I felt an almost dizzying rush of blood to my cock as I looked over to see him watching us with raptor intensity. He groaned louder when I caught his gaze, his grip tightening convulsively on his cock.

"Look at what you're doing to Estinien," I groaned, thrusting hard into Aymeric and pausing there.

Aymeric turned his head, and I watched something in him catch fire as the two of them made eye contact.

It wasn't the first time I'd had an audience while fucking someone, but those had been casual encounters without any real meaning. Fucking a dear friend in front of their lover was an entirely new experience, and it changed... everything. I almost didn't recognize my own voice as I asked, "do you like having him watch you like this?"

"Yes," Aymeric gasped, seeming just as affected as I was. His usual patience vanished as he clutched the desk and shoved back against me with a keening moan, and suddenly I wanted something more forceful than our habitually tender love-making.

"Gods," Aymeric breathed. "Do it. Fuck me."

I gasped, shifted my grip to his hips. "Estinien," I said loud enough for both men to hear. "Is a very lucky man."

I started pounding into Aymeric, relishing the slap of flesh on flesh, and he urged me on with desperate, needy moans. I could hear Estinien's breathing grow harsh and ragged, but I had eyes only for Aymeric as he begged me for more.

When I knew I was close, I lowered my weight onto my elbows, covering Aymeric - who twisted to kiss my clumsily. "Can I come inside you?"

"Yes," Aymeric hissed, elongating the sibilant. Then, "yes," again, a full octave lower. And then he was a sobbing, writhing mass of yes as he cried out and clenched around me, pulling me over with him.

I sobbed with the strength of my climax, losing the rhythm of my thrusts entirely as I thrust another half dozen times and spilled into Aymeric.

I went limp on top of him when it had passed, and we lay like that for a minute as we both panted for air. When I finally mustered the strength to stand and pull out, Estinien was looking about in dismay as he tried to keep his tunic out of the mess he'd made of his chest.

With a laugh, I pulled a handkerchief from my coat pocket and handed it to Estinien. "Keep it."

Estinien thanked me gravely and used it to clean himself, then Aymeric.

I got dressed awkwardly, not looking at either man as they followed suit.

With an ease that I badly envied, Aymeric gestured for us to to be seated as he used his linkpearl to request a tray of refreshments for three, which a young page brought a few minutes later.

Grateful for the excuse to do something with my hands, I poured myself a cup of tea. "Thank you," I said, unsure who exactly I was directing my gratitude towards.

Estinien surprised me by replying first. "You were good for each other. And I owe you."

I gave him a sour look and a soul-weary sigh. "Not you too."

Estinien shrugged, unrepentant, and snagged a piece of cheese.

I shook my head, pulled a wrapped bundle out of my coat pocket, and placed it in front of Aymeric. "It's several months journey to Kugane, where we will then, apparently, have to negotiate with pirates for safe passage to Doma, so I imagine it will be quite some time before I'm back. And. It seemed only appropriate to give you a token of my thanks before I leave." I paused, then awkwardly added, "I made it," as he started to unwrap it.

Inside was a silver pegasus rampant with sapphire eyes - the color and insignia of House Borel - fashioned into a cloak clasp. Aymeric looked up at me with wide eyes. "It's beautiful. Truly you are a person of many talents, my friend. But you didn't have to do this."

"I know. I wanted to." I clenched my fists in my lap as I took a deep breath. "Whatever debt you feel you owe me, I discharge it." When Aymeric tried to protest, I cut him off. "I can and will happily call in the debt owed by the Nation of Ishgard to the Scions of the Seventh Dawn for many years to come. But you - Aymeric de Borel - owe me - Savvel Merouc - nothing. I was drowning, and maybe it's melodramatic to say that you saved me, but... you did."

I fidgeted, uncomfortable about my effusiveness in front of Estinien, but the Dragoon just shrugged. "Of the two of us, you had the healthier coping mechanism by far."

"Estinien!" I exclaimed. "Was that a joke?"

His lips twitched with a faint but undeniable smile. "No."

Aymeric was looking at me with shining eyes as his hand curled around the cloak clasp. "Thank you. I will treasure this gift."

I nodded, then stood. "I should go. I have packing to attend to."

"Of course." Aymeric rose and pulled me into a tight hug.

"This isn't goodbye forever," I murmured into his shoulder. "It's goodbye for now."

He kissed my forehead before he released me. "May the Fury guide you."

I turned to Estinien and hesitated, uncertain of how to bid farewell, and he solved my dilemma by clasping my wrist. "Give them hell, Warrior of Light."

-----

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Author's notes: As always: (1) I don't care what the devs say, Alisaie is absolutely not 16. By 6.0, she'd be about 23. (2) In a world where no one is explicitly gay or trans, that means anyone can be. Therefore, Alisaie and G'raha are T4T.

- - -

7.0 - SHARLYAN

G'raha was losing his mind.

Both because he badly missed his partners, Savvel and Alisaie, who had set sail for Tulliyolal two weeks and five days ago (the longest they'd been apart since making their arrangement 'official'), and because it was the longest he'd been celibate in... well...

Ever.

Savvel and Alisaie called him in the evenings - calls which often devolved immediately into surreptitious linkpearl sex, which had initially had served to scratch the itch of his longing for... intimate company. Unfortunately, the past few days, their regular calls were only aggravating G'raha's state of sexual frustration, to the point that he felt as if he were about to climb out of his skin.

And while his partners had promised to pop back to Sharlyan for a visit as soon as they were able to attune to a local aetheryte, he knew that they'd have more pressing business to attend to for a while. Meaning that it could be another two weeks before he actually got to see them again.

But how was he supposed to last that long? His desperation was such that he was starting to act like a horny lunatic - witness the fact that he was currently pacing agitatedly in his room at the Annex while stark naked and muttering to himself as he waited for their call.

Finally, finally, his linkpearl chimed.

"Good evening, Raha," Alisaie said cheerfully as soon as he'd answered.

"I want your cock inside me right now," G'raha interrupted, his hand already between his legs as he threw himself onto the bed.

Savvel chuckled. "It's like that, is it?"

"It's like that," G'raha said firmly.

"Well then," Alisaie said, smile audible in her voice. "Who am I to argue?"

- - -

Hearing Alisaie's (admittedly wonderfully filthy) descriptions of what she wanted to do to him and not being able to actually touch her was... awful. G'raha tried to push the feelings away and focus on his desire, but the more his pleasure built, the more his dissatisfaction increased. When he finally climaxed, something inside him snapped, and he found himself sobbing into the blankets.

"Raha, love," Savvel said urgently. "Talk to us. What's wrong?"

G'raha mumbled a disclaimer, and Alisaie snorted in disgust. "Just because I can't personally smack you doesn't mean I can't call Ojika and tell him to do it for me."

G'raha laughed. "Don't do that. I'm naked."

"He'd consider it another administrative duty and you know it. Now talk, or I really will call him."
G'raha knew when he was beaten. "I... I miss you," he choked out. "And I'm-- I feel like I'm losing my mind? These calls are the high point of my day, but they're also not enough anymore. I need someone to touch me, and I want it to be you, but it can't be."

"Oh Raha..." Alsaie's voice softened. "Have you... gone to the library?" (Alisaie's term for cruising, which was fair, given that he was in Sharlyan.)

G'raha sighed heavily. "No? Not for that, at least."

Savvel made a concerned noise. "Do you need us to give you permission again?"

Alisaie spoke before G'raha could answer. "You know, I think he needs us to make him do it."

"Hmm. I think you may be right," Savvel replied seriously.

"Of course I'm right!" Alisaie shot back.

"Now wait a minute--" G'raha protested, not liking the direction things were going.

Alisaie ran right over him. "You've got two days, Raha. I demand that you get someone's dick in you by then, or we're not having linkpearl sex until you do."

G'raha buried his face in his hands. "Savvel, surely you can't--"

"Sorry, Raha. I'm with Alisaie on this one." Savvel said, sounding ruefully sympathetic. "I know this is the pot calling the kettle black, but sometimes you need us to step in and save you from yourself."

"That's not true," G'raha shot back hotly.

"It is and you know it."

Gods dammit. "Fine," he grumbled. "It is."

"Glad to hear you're willing to be sensible," Alisaie said dryly. "Now go get a cock in you. That's an order."

- - -

G'raha spent the next day delaying the inevitable by handling Baldesion business that he could have delegated to Ojika, only to find himself panicking as he was getting ready for bed. What if he wasn't able to find a willing partner tomorrow? He hadn't had to cruise the library for a hook-up in... well, either a few years or more than a century, depending on how you counted it. What if he'd lost the knack?

He fell asleep fretting about it and had uneasy dreams all night.

In the morning, he decided that the best course of action was to tackle it right away. So after a perfunctory breakfast, he informed Ojika he'd be stepping out and headed to the library.

This early in the morning, there were plenty of tables free in the study area.

G'raha dropped his bag at a free table, then went to the anthropology section to grab a book on Mi'quote mating customs, which he left facing the chair across from him - the usual signal to those in the know that he was looking for a casual encounter. Then he pulled a notebook out of his bag and started compiling notes for a report that he'd been putting off.

Or at least, he tried to. His nerves made it difficult to focus on what he was doing.

It had been years since he'd picked anyone up at the library - since before the Crystal Tower expedition. Was he even using the correct signal? What if they'd changed since his time at the Studium?

Motion caught his eye, and the hint of a familiar face--

He looked up from his writing as a tall, shockingly handsome Highlander man passed by, his arms loaded down with books. There was a moment of accidental eye contact, then--

No. It couldn't be...

...but by the shock of recognition on his face, it seemed that it was.

Arnkell Ironfist - the teaching assistant G'raha had fucked on a near-daily basis during his second year at the Studium. That is, until Arnkell had gotten stuck teaching one of G'raha's classes halfway through the semester - at which point he'd abruptly dissolved their arrangement and... never spoken to G'raha again.

G'raha went dry-mouthed at the sight of Arnkell, who was somehow even hotter than he'd remembered. For one, he was tall, even for a Highlander, with tawny brown skin, piercing hazel eyes, and a lean, wiry build. His long black hair, neatly braided, was now streaked with premature grey at the temples, making him look sexily distinguished.
They stared at each other for a long moment before Arnkell swallowed hard and set his books on the next table. His gaze flicked to the book across from G'raha as he slowly took a seat. Since Arnkell didn't seem inclined to actually approach, G'raha shrugged unhappily at him and went back to his notes.

He was pathetically grateful for the interruption a few minutes later when a Hyur man of indeterminate extraction dropped into the seat across from him. "Looking for some research assistance?" the stranger asked with a significant glance down at the book.

Arnkell was very deliberately Not Looking At Him.

The stranger, meanwhile, was good-looking enough. Tall, stocky, and fair, with saturnine features and the effortless arrogance of a Studium professor. (His face was vaguely familiar, now that G'raha considered it... Antiquities? Archaeology?)

"Yes, I could use some assistance." G'raha said decisively, closing his notebook and tucking it in his bag.

The professor's lips curved into a sly smile.

- - -

They went to the washroom, into the far stall. The professor (he didn't offer his name and G'raha didn't care enough to ask) immediately pinned him against the wall and kissed him aggressively until G'raha's head was spinning.
He whimpered when the professor broke the kiss, took his hand, and placed it on the ridge of his erection. "You're desperate for this cock. aren't you?" he breathed into G'raha's ear.

He whimpered again and nodded.

"That's a good boy," the professor murmured, face already flushed with arousal as he stepped back and started to unbutton his pants. "Show me how much you want it, then. Kneel for me."

G'raha's breath caught with excitement as he went to his knees. He kept his eyes on the professor's face as the other man opened his pants and freed his erection, and...

His dick was... fine. Average, with no real distinguishing characteristics - certainly nothing that would inspire poetry. But it was here, attached to a real flesh-and-blood person, and right now that was all that mattered.

G'raha pulled him into his mouth and started to suck him quietly, and the professor's eyes slid blissfully closed. "I want you to touch yourself."
Goodness. Alisaie and Savvel were never this bossy.

...alright, that was a lie - they were bossy, but only about things that they already knew G'raha wanted.

Still, G'raha was enjoying finally having a cock in his mouth, even if he'd have preferred it in one of his other holes, and he was far from mad about the idea of jerking off while he blew the hot, bossy professor. So he pulled away long enough to unbutton his pants and slip a hand into his drawers.

The professor took hold hold of G'raha's face, his gaze intense as he looked down. Guessing what he was after, G'raha opened his mouth wide, and the other man pulled his head into position so that he could thrust into his mouth. As the head of his cock slid past G'rahas lips, the noise he made was so reminiscent of Savvel that G'raha couldn't help but moan around the other man's cock.

"That's it." The professor fisted his hands in G'raha's hair. "Now how much of me can you take?"

He wasn't so large that it was a challenge for G'raha to relax his throat and breathe through his nose.

"I'm going to fuck that pretty little mouth of yours," the professor groaned as he started to do just that.

G'raha stroked himself, aroused by the professor's obvious enjoyment, and happily enjoyed having his face fucked until finally, the other man made a strangled little noise, shoved G'raha's mouth right against the root of his cock, and came.

A moment later, he withdrew unceremoniously and tucked himself back in. "My thanks," he said before... just...

Leaving?!

G'raha just stared, not quite comprehending what was happening until the other man was already gone.

Finally, he furiously put himself back together - which took some doing, the professor had completely ruined his hair - and stomped back out to his table, intending to give the boor a piece of his mind.

Unfortunately, both the professor and Arnkell were long gone.

G'raha growled in frustration and left.

- - -

He was still fuming about it when Savvel and Alisaie called that evening.

"So. Get a cock in you yet?" Alisaie asked, clearly expecting the answer to be no.

"Yes," G'raha answered testily.

"Oh no," Savvel said, sounding as if they were trying not to laugh. "What happened?"

"Well it started out promising," G'raha said darkly before telling them about what had happened with Professor Selfish. (He decided not to mention running into Arnkell.)

Alisaie was predictably furious on G'raha's behalf. "If we were anywhere near an aetheryte, I'd come give that guy a piece of my mind."

"I know." G'raha couldn't help but smile as he pictured her doing exactly that. "Thank you."

"I hope you're not going to let this put you off trying again?" Savvel asked delicately.

G'raha thought wistfully of Arnkell, and wished fervently that it had been him he'd been with. Arnkell would never have left him so unsatisfied. "Yes-- I mean. No. I'll try again tomorrow."

"Well, then. Gold star," Alisaie purred, her tone distinctly amorous.

G'raha's state of sexual frustration ratcheted up another notch. However, as badly as he ached to have a cock inside of him, he didn't feel like settling for his partners' imaginary cocks. "Look. Tonight, can we just... I mean. I know bottoming isn't..."

"Tell us what you want, Raha," Savvel said patiently. "And we'll talk about it if it's a problem."

"I want to hear one of you to stuff a cock in the other. I don't care who, or which hole."

Alisaie made an interested noise. "I don't fancy bottoming in a bed that's moving, but what if we took turns fucking each other's mouths?"
"Sounds perfect," G'raha and Savvel said in unison.

- - -

Jerking off while listening to his partners took the edge off in the moment. However, that night G'raha dreamed that it had been him they'd been fucking, and he woke up even more desperate than ever. He grit his teeth and got himself off as efficiently as possible, which at least afforded him a little relief, before throwing himself out of bed to start his day, promising himself that he'd definitely take a break around lunch to go to the library and make another attempt at finding a partner who could satisfy his desperate lust.

He was surprised when his linkpearl chimed with a call from Ojika just as he was sitting at his desk.

"There's someone here to see you," the Lalafell administrator said. "Says he's an old friend. Should I have him make an appointment for later?"
G'raha blinked. "No," he said slowly. "Tell him I'll be right out."

Arnkell was waiting for him in the lobby of the Annex. "I wanted to apologize for yesterday," he began hurriedly as soon as he saw G'raha. "And..." he paused awkwardly and glanced at Ojika. "And for... before that too, really."

Taken aback by this unexpected turn of events, G'raha was surprised to hear himself say, "I haven't had any breakfast yet. Would you like to join me at the Last Stand?"

Arnkell smiled happily. "That sounds wonderful."

It was a lovely day, so they walked instead of taking an aetheryte.

"I've had a lot of time to regret how I ended things," Arnkell said ruefully. "And aside from apologizing, I figure you deserve to at least know that the way things ended mostly wasn't you. I mean, during that course I took over... I definitely panicked, and I am sorry about that. But then, after it ended, I got... Well. I don't know what else to call it other than the opportunity of a lifetime. A fellowship I'd only found out about a day before the application deadline, applied for, and forgotten about. I was completely unprepared when I actually won it, and ended up boarding a ship for Eorzea three days after the end of the term.

"I thought about writing while I was away, but somehow I never managed it. And by the time I returned to Sharlyan, you'd apparently just left for Eorzea yourself. So I figured that was that."

G'raha repressed an annoyed sigh, reminding himself that he also could have written and had chosen not to. "Well. I'm glad to know that it wasn't anything I'd done, at least. And I'm happy that things seem to have worked out well for you. You're teaching at the Studium these days, I take it?"

"I am," Arnkell confirmed.

There was a break in the conversation as they arrived at the Last Stand and went about finding a table.

"What about you?" Arnkell asked awkwardly after they'd placed their orders. "How have you been?"

G'raha blinked, unsure of how to even begin answering the question. "Honestly, so much has happened to me since our time at the Studium that I don't think you'd believe me even if I knew how to explain it."

Arnkell grinned. "I don't know about that. I heard that you've taken up with the Savior of the Star, so I can only imagine what trouble they've gotten you into along the way." He paused, and his expression darkened. "Not that I should make light of that, I suppose. I was in Garlemald when the Final Days began. I can't imagine what it must have been like for you, being on the front lines and all."

G'raha grimaced. "It hasn't... there have been challenges, but. I can't say I regret them." He smiled shyly and held up his left hand to show off the ring he still wasn't used to wearing. "Savvel, Alisaie, and I..." he trailed off, unsure of how to finish the sentence.

"I'm very happy for you," Arnkell said with genuine delight.

G'raha shrugged in embarrassment. "How about you? Still single?"

Arnkell shrugged. "I'm too married my work to want a relationship, to be honest," he said easily. "My parents were both professors at the Studium before they retired from teaching and moved into pure research. And while they're brilliant academics, they were terrible partners to each other, and terrible parents, to be frank.

"So I've been quite happy sticking to short-term liaisons, especially as there are a number of people I've formed... uh. Understandings with over the years, similar to... to what we-- Well. You know." He broke off with an expressive grimace as their food arrived.
It smelled too delicious to resist. G'raha made a happy noise a the perfectly flaky crust of his egg-and-cheese pie, and Arnkell looked similarly pleased with his omelette.

"You know," G'raha ventured after a minute of awkward silence, hoping that he'd interpreted Arnkell's hesitation correctly. "Savvel, Alisaie, and I... we're. Uh. Romantically attached, but... it's not... exclusive? Savvel is the Warrior of Light, and Alisaie... well. Neither Savvel nor I could compete with a mission she'd truly set her heart on. So while.... circumstances--" Gods, what an underwhelming euphemism for his time on the First and the following chaos of the Final Days! "Have prevented me from looking elsewhere for quite a while, most recently I've found myself stuck in Sharlyan while the two of them gallivant off to the New World with Krile. And it's been... lonely."

Arnkell arched an eyebrow and smiled. "How long have they been gone?"

G'raha groaned. "Three weeks today, but it honestly feels like they've been gone three years."

"Sounds tough," Arnkell replied with wry sympathy.

G'raha wrinkled his nose and had another bite of pie. "Not nearly as tough as adventuring. I'm just doing too much paperwork and feeling horny about my partners being gone."

Arnkell's eyes twinkled. "Like I said. Sounds tough."

G'raha laughed.

There was a long pause. Then. "Listen," Arnkell said guiltily. "After how I ran out on you, I'll understand if the answer is--"

"Yes," G'raha said eagerly, not waiting for him to blunder his way to the end of the question.

Arnkell looked stymied.

G'raha snorted. "You're going to ask if I'd like to renew our understanding while we're both in Sharlyan, right? The answer is yes." He leaned forward and lowered his voice. "You don't know how desperate I've been to get someone's cock inside me, and yours would more than fit the bill."

Arnkell smiled slowly. "So that other guy..."

"Ugh." G'raha sat back and rolled his eyes with remembered indignation.

"Oh," Arnkell said, surprised. "So you didn't."

"No, I did," G'raha replied disgustedly. "Or rather, he did."

Arnkell grinned and took a long sip of his tea. "Well. I've got a meeting in twenty minutes with a student of mine, but perhaps we could meet at the library afterward?"

G'raha's mouth went suddenly dry. "That sounds perfect."

When they were finished, Arnkell paid the bill. "I owe you," he insisted when G'raha tried to pay his share, then leaned down to kiss G'raha's cheek. "See you soon," he murmured in G'raha's ear.

- - -

G'raha went straight to the library and picked out a book on Turali culture, which he took to the same table he'd had the previous day. His throbbing need made it nearly impossible to focus on the contents, but he eventually managed it, and slowly the ache between his legs faded.

Only to return with a vengeance the moment he caught sight of Arnkell.

The tall Hyur was smiling as he approached. "I had my assistant book us a private study room," he said softly, grinning when G'raha slammed his book shut and stood so fast that he almost knocked over his chair.

The room was tiny - just large enough for a sturdy table and four chairs, and entirely bare of decoration. Arnkell pinned him against the wall by the door as soon as it was closed, but unlike the professor it was clear that he was thinking about G'raha's pleasure as much as his own.
He pressed one of his strong thighs between G'raha's legs for him to grind against as they kissed, Arnkell's kisses slow and methodical, as if he expected to write a scholarly treatise about G'raha's mouth later. And it was so familiar, so nice, and so safe that G'raha felt like he was catching fire.

"Please," he moaned, clutching desperately at Arnkell's (pleasingly firm) biceps. "Please fuck me. I need you inside me right now."

Arnkell chuckled and nipped at G'raha's jaw. "That can be arranged," he murmured before stepping back.

G'raha hurriedly shucked his clothes, then sat on the edge of the table with his legs spread, watching Arnkell with undisguised impatience as he stripped far more slowly, first taking off his long scholar's coat, then his shirt, revealing a smooth expanse of well-muscled chest with only a hint of softness around the middle.

The long, thick ridge of Arnkell's cock was clearly visible through his cream-colored pants. Arnkell watched G'raha with raptor intensity as he removed his pants with teasing slowness, revealing legs that were still just as toned as G'raha remembered them. When he finally removed his drawers, sliding them down over his hips to puddle on the floor, his cock immediately bobbed free, and G'raha couldn't help but gasp at the sight of it.

It was nearly the length of G'raha's forearm from elbow to wrist, and correspondingly girthy, and G'raha knew from past experience that it would stretch him to his limit. He couldn't wait to have it inside him.

Arnkell's upper chest was already flushed as he leaned over G'raha, placing his hands on the table on either side of his thighs, and... Gods he was massive. Savvel was tall, certainly, but Arnkell was a giant - six fulms, fours ilms, and more than a full fulm taller than G'raha himself.

"How do you want me to take you?" Arnkell asked softly, clearly very eager to please - another pleasing point of dissimilarity from the professor. "Over the table? Against the wall?"

G'raha licked his lips. "Over the table sounds wonderful, but..." he glanced down at Arnkell's enormous length, which was resting heavily on his knee. "It's been three weeks, and neither of my partners are as... ah. Large as you are."

"Not many people are," Arnkell replied, smiling as he captured G'raha's lips in a soft kiss. "I can go slow and we can change positions if it's too uncomfortable?"

"Yes," G'raha replied eagerly.

Arnkell stepped back so that G'raha could lie on his stomach on the table with his legs hanging over the side. G'raha lifted his tail out of the way, expecting Arnkell to thrust into him immediately, but the other man surprised him by going to his knees instead.

"Wh-what--" G'raha gasped, shocked at the sensation of Arnkell's nose nuzzling his dick.

"Shush." Arnkell spread G'raha's legs wider with his enormous hands. "You said it's been a while, and I want you to enjoy yourself."

G'raha had to clasp his hands tightly over his mouth to keep from making noise as Arnkell started lapping at him with his tongue. The tall scholar remembered exactly how G'raha liked it, and shortly had him writhing in pleasure.

"Please," G'raha whimpered. "Please. Please just put it in, I'm so close."

Arnkell groaned, stood, and positioned the head of his enormous cock at G'raha's entrance. "Tell me when to stop," he murmured as he slowly thrust into him, and...

Gods he was so much to take.

G'raha really didn't want him to stop, but when he made a small involuntary noise of discomfort, Arnkell did anyway.

"You okay?"

G'raha nodded. "Keep going. Just... go slowly."

Arnkell made a soft noise of acknowledgement and resumed pushing forward, the stretch as G'raha was forced to accommodate his girth both uncomfortable and glorious. He stopped to let G'raha breathe after he'd taken what felt like several more fulms. "A little more than halfway," Arnkell said.

"I want all of you," G'raha said impatiently, ignoring the small voice that insisted his cock would never fit by reminding it that it had - lots of times. And he needed this, Gods did he need this.

G'raha whimpered in frustration when Arnkell pulled nearly entirely out before reversing course to fill and fill and fill him.
"Yes," G'raha exhaled. "Yes... gods, yes..."

This was what he'd been craving. He'd gotten so used to being stuffed full of Savvel and Alisaie's cocks - either as they fucked both of his lower holes, or fucked him from both ends. He hadn't realized that that feeling of fullness was what he'd been craving so desperately until this moment, as Arnkell's huge cock filled him so completely.

Arnkell leaned over him, braced his weight on his elbows as he covered G'raha with his enormous bulk, and kissed the back of his neck. "You feel so good."

G'raha shivered. "Is it all the way in?"

"Not quite." Arnkell slid out an ilm, then back in the same length, and the stretch was nearly all pleasure now.

"Give it to me," G'raha demanded.

Arnkell stood, took hold of G'raha's hips and withdrew entirely, making G'raha gasp at the sudden shocking emptiness. And then he fucked back in, pushing forward in one smooth thrust until he had buried himself completely. G'raha was almost choking in his effort not to cry out in ecstasy, and then Arnkell gave one final little push, and G'raha couldn't help himself.

He clutched the table top in a death grip, opened his mouth in a silent scream, and came.

"Gods," Arnkell groaned. "You weren't kidding about how badly you needed this."

"N-no," G'raha slurred.

"We've got the room for another twenty minutes. I'll take my time, and we'll see if I can't get you to come again."

Arnkell patiently held himself to a maddeningly slow pace as he fucked G'raha with long, even strokes. And despite that G'raha almost never came from penetration alone, the dizzying pleasure of Arnkell's massive cock as it stretched and dragged against him was so incredible that touching himself would have been too much to bear.

He was close by the time that Arnkell started to lose the rhythm of his thrusts. "Gods," he gasped, his hands tightening convulsively on G'raha's hips. "Sorry, I-I can't..."

"Do it," G'raha gasped, pushing back to meet Arnkell's thrusts. "Come inside me."

Arnkell choked back a moan of pleasure as he thrust hard into G'raha a handful more times and came. The warm rush of his spend and the feeling of Arnkell's massive cock pulsing inside him finally pushed G'raha over the edge once more, and he convulsed with delicious agony as he came so hard he saw stars.

When it was over, Arnkell leaned forward, once more bracing his weight on his elbows. His breath was warm against the back of G'raha's neck as they both trembled and panted through the aftershocks. "This is nice," Arnkell said softly. Then, tentatively, as though he wasn't sure it would be welcome. "I missed this."

G'raha chuckled. "Me too."

Arnkell laughed quietly and withdrew. The feeling of cold air, was shocking, as was the warm dribble of Arkell's spend leaking out of him, and couldn't help but jump when a cloth was pressed against him. "I came prepared."

G'raha winced, realizing that he was starting to be rather sore, and murmured a healing cantrip as the larger man cleaned him up. "Thank you."

"I made the mess," Arnkell pointed out with good humor. "Only fair I should clean it up."

- - -

They left holding hands, and walked to sit on a bench under a nearby tree.

"How long are you in Sharlyan?" G'raha asked shyly.

"Until the end of the semester, so... A little less than a month."

G'raha took a deep breath. "You said that you've had other... ah... understandings, but. If... I'd like..."

Arnkell smiled and squeezed his hand. "I do have someone I'm seeing at the moment, but... what we have is very different, and this... you, I mean. It was... incredible."

G'raha blushed. "So, you're saying we could..."

"I think I can help you rectify your tragic state of cock starvation," Arnkell teased, laughing when G'raha's blush deepened. "The only caveat being that my schedule is rather full, and I don't want to neglect my other partner."

"I don't have any other partners, but..." G'raha sighed as he thought of the amount of work waiting for him back at the Annex. "My schedule is rather full as well. The Students keep me very busy."

Arnkell smiled ruefully. "I can imagine." He reached into his pocket for a notebook, scribbled a linkpearl code onto a corner of a page, and tore it off to give to G'raha. "I can have my assistant talk to your assistant about finding us some time? I don't think I can promise every day, but... I want to make the most of the time we have while we're both here."

G'raha beamed and tucked the paper safely into his pocket. "That sounds wonderful."

Arnkell leaned down to kiss his cheek. "I'm... really glad we got to do this."

"Me too." G'raha looked up, and the uncertainty he saw in the other man's eyes gave him the courage to be vulnerable. "Don't take this the wrong way, but... I like you a lot."

"Me too," Arnkell said softly. He hesitated before continuing guiltily. "I never reached out because I was too worried about our difference in status, but now... Well. If anything, the balance has tipped rather in your favor, and... I mean. Once this is over..."

G'raha was smiling so widely that his face hurt. "I'd like to be friends, too, if that's what you're asking."

"It is," Arnkell said, relieved. "And this time I'll stay in touch. I promise."

- - -

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Author's notes:

As always: (1) I don't care what the devs say, Alisaie is absolutely not 16. By 6.0, she'd be about 23. (2) In a world where no one is explicitly gay or trans, that means anyone can be. Therefore, Alisaie and G'raha are T4T. (3) My WoL is a non-binary viera.

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----

POST 7.0 - AFTER DEFEATING BLACK CAT IN THE ARCADION

Black Cat's expression was a mix of resentment and consternation as she watched me sign the paperwork agreeing to the next match and hand it back to Metem. "Wonderful! I'll let you know when the match is scheduled," the Millala said, waving over his shoulder as he left. "Pleasure doing business with you, Master Merouc."

"Unbelievable," Black Cat muttered as soon as he was gone. "I can't believe he didn't warn you."

I turned back toward her and arched an eyebrow at her. "Warn me?"

Unaccountably, Black Cat blushed. "Well. It's just. Everyone from Solution Nine would already know this, but. Since you're not from here..."

I crossed my arms impatiently. "Spit it out. Do I need to get those forms back from Metem?"

"No! I mean." Black Cat held up her hands and took a deep breath. "It's just. You'll want to arrange to have one of your mates attend the match. And if not, well... you've already got lots of fans, and I could. If you like. Make some introductions?"

I stared blankly at Black Cat for several long, extremely awkward moments. "I swear I'm not trying to be obtuse," I finally said. "I just... I'm not following your meaning."

The Hhetsarro fighter's ears flattened as she turned an even brighter shade of pink. "Honey's feral soul is a bee."

I blinked. Was this one of those situations where my demisexuality was making me inconveniently immune to subtext? "And?"

"She. Uh. Uses pheremones."

My own cheeks flushed hotly as comprehension finally dawned. "Ah. I see." I thought back to the similar situation I'd encountered fighting Lakshmi, after which I had sourced a recipe for pheremone-negating potions. "I'll be sure to take the appropriate precautions. Thank you for your consideration."

Black Cat looked relieved. "Honey makes Metem a lot of money, so everyone is just used to dealing with the inevitable consequences. I don't think anyone was trying to screw you over. It's just easy to forget that it wouldn't be obvious to outsiders."

"I understand."

"Tell your guest to check in with admissions, and you'll both be provided with a private room after the match. That is, assuming Honey doesn't. You know. Kill you."

I didn't bother to correct Black Cat's assumption that I'd need to rut after my match with Honey - the conversation was already uncomfortable enough. "She's welcome to try. She won't succeed."

Black Cat grinned. "You'd better kick her ass," she said cheerfully, extending a hand. "I only want to get beaten by the best."

"You've got it." I grinned back and shook her hand. "She won't know what hit her."

I called Ojika as I left to request the ingredients for the pheromone potion be delivered to my rooms, then called Alisaie, figuring better safe than sorry.

"Savvel! How bad did you demolish your opponent?"

"She gave me a nice workout."

Alisaie snorted. "Nice to hear it wasn't a complete waste of your time. I can't say I understand why the savior of the whole bloody star finds it necessary to smack around some two-bit regional arena fighters."

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "Now, now. Be nice. Raubahn came as one of those 'two-bit fighters'."

"I suppose."

"Anyway, I called to ask if you wanted to come to the next match?"

"Of course! What kind of a question is that? I always love watching you thrash people."

"Great. So apparently..."

- - -

I'll admit I enjoyed watching the smug look on Honey's face turn to panic when the first hit of pheromones had no effect. Almost as much as she must have enjoyed the look of panic on my face when she unexpectedly hit me with a second blast halfway through the match. The potion mitigated most of it, but my pants still started to feel far too tight.

Pushing all thoughts of physical discomfort out of my mind, I snarled and lunged forward, making Honey squeak in alarm as she barely fluttered out of the way. I'd gotten worse when I'd fought Lakshmi, and Honey was no primal. Besides, it wasn't likely she'd have the energy to hit with a third blast.

...she hit me with a third blast. Right as one of the simulated champions and I tag-teamed her, knocking her out cold. A couple of seconds later, the simulacra vanished, leaving me on my own.

I buttoned my Red Mage's coat and tried not to look as uncomfortable as I felt while Metem pronounced me the winner.

- - -

Metem took me out a different way than I'd come in, escorting me to a doorway in what looked to be a dormitory for resident champions. "Take as long as you need," he murmured, not making eye contact as he trundled off.

I was sweating and my cock felt as if it were being strangled by my pants, but I couldn't face the prospect of going in like this. Not yet. With a groan, I banged my head against the wall and linkpearled Alisaie.

"Savvel? What's going on? Where are you? They showed me to this room and said you'd be joining me, and then they just... vanished."

"I need you to promise not to laugh at me," I said, concentrating on the cold metal of the wall against my forehead in an attempt to focus on something besides my increasing state of sexual frustration. It didn't work.

"Okay..."

"I'm serious," I snapped, picturing the bemused face that I knew would have gone with that tone.

"Alright! I promise."

I activated the door and slunk in, finding Alisaie standing in the middle of a small room with a very large bed, a tiny bathroom, and nothing else. And I did not pounce on her - much as she would have enjoyed that - because I was determined to prove that I could maintain some dignity , dammit, no matter the ridiculous circumstances that had gotten me here. "I wanted to show them that they don't need to use souls to be strong," I said stiffly.

(That's not all that's...) Woodenly.

We'll show her some...

Dammit all , even my inner monologue was betraying me.

With a start, I realized Alisaie had been watching me with a confused expression on her face. "Okay," she said, obviously not for the first time.

"I don't like the idea of a bunch of traumatized kids huffing someone's grandma so they can beat the shit out of each other longer and make the sponsors a few more gil."

Alisaie choked back a laugh. "Sorry. Your phrasing was really funny, there."

I smiled despite myself. "I was trying to make you laugh," I admitted. "But here's the part that's not funny." I unbuttoned my coat and tossed it on the floor before gesturing miserably at my erection. "After what happened with Lakshmi, I had potions that I thought would be strong enough, but... Insect pheromones are apparently a lot more potent."

Alisaie's eyes widened. "Oh dear." Understanding dawned on her face, and to my immense relief she didn't seem to find the situation funny at all. "Well. This is definitely one of the weirder ways I've been asked to assist with one of your crusades, but weaning the surviving Alexandrians from their soul addiction is an admirable goal. So! Let's see what we're working with."

I groaned with relief and shoved both pants and drawers down past my hips, too impatient to bother with the fastenings. My cock was painfully erect by this point and dripping pre. "I'm so hard it hurts," I whimpered.

"It's not painful if I touch it, is it?" Alisaie asked, licking tentatively at the head of my cock.

I moaned loudly and fisted my hands at my sides to keep myself from grabbing her head. "N-no."

"Good. Get the rest of those clothes off, and get on the bed."

- - -

I was so hypersensitive that Alisaie sucked me for all of a minute before swallowing down my first orgasm, which didn't even make a dent in the blood-fever that gripped me. She kept going until I came again, which took enough of the edge off that my erection was no longer painful, but didn't do anything to alleviate the raw need screaming through every nerve ending.

I threw an arm over my eyes and moaned with despair. "If these are breeding pheromones, then..."

"Blowjobs might not be enough," Alisaie finished. When I opened my eyes, she was eyeing me speculatively, and I could tell she was trying to decide if she was up for bottoming when I was in this state.

I shook my head. "I can't promise not to be rough. I'm literally on a mind-altering substance, remember?"

"Fair," Alisaie sighed as she rolled onto her side and reached for her earring. "G'raha? Don't panic, because Savvel is going to be fine. But they're having an emergency and you're needed in Solution Nine right away.

"Mmhmm. The Arcadion.

"Tell them you're here for Savvel. Please hurry."

The entire exchange took less than a minute, and yet I was almost crawling out of my skin again. "I'm so sorry, but it's starting to hurt again."

Alisaie's blue eyes flashed with anger. "I'm going to tear strips off of whoever thought it was okay to let you go into this blind."

She definitely wasn't wrong. "And I'll help, but I can't do that if my dick explodes."

"Right. Sorry."

As if the entire situation wasn't mortifying enough, the door whooshed open right as I came for a third time, allowing my shouting to echo around the corridor. G'raha froze in the doorway, eyes wide with confusion, and only entered when Alisaie waved him over. (Thankfully, the door closed itself behind him.)

"This is the emergency?"

I hid my face with my hands and would have curled into a ball if a significant portion of Alisaie's weight hadn't already been on my legs. "Don't laugh," I pleaded.

Alisaie spoke, her voice rippling with anger and disbelief. "Savvel got a super dose of insect pheromones, and blowjobs are only providing temporary relief. I've already made them come three times, and yet..." She trailed off, presumably gesturing at my dick, which remained hard enough to drive nails.

"Well then." I almost cried with relief when I recognized G'raha's Thinking About A Very Serious Problem Voice. "If they were breeding pheromones, then I'm not surprised."

"Black Cat did offer to set me up with some female groupies," I mumbled, wishing the void would just claim me then and there and end my suffering. "Apparently all of the other arena fighters are just used to dealing with it. And when Alisaie showed up, I guess everyone thought it was. You know. Handled."

I finally summoned the nerve to peek at G'raha, and couldn't help but melt a little when I saw his shoulders stiffen with resolve. "I'm glad you called me, then. It's not safe to leave you like this. Give me..." G'raha's tail lashed as he did some rapid mental calculations. "Twenty minutes to be. Ah. Less male."

"G'raha, no ," I yelped, horrified at the idea of reducing his gender - both our genders to the biological imperative of reproduction. "You don't have to..."

"I know," he interrupted forcefully. "But you have trouble with people you don't care about--"

"But--"

"--and I'm a consenting adult. So shut up and let Alisaie take care of you while I prepare some things."

- - -

I held out as long as I could before getting Alisaie to blow me for a fourth time. She used every trick in the book to make it last as long as she could, but I was on a hair trigger - refractory period be damned - and was starting to get uncomfortable again by the time the door opened. A leggy Hhetsarro readhead walked in, who I only belatedly recognized as G'raha .

"Holy hells , Raha," I breathed, levering myself up on my elbows, my erection momentarily forgotten.

G'raha's unbraided hair hung loose over his shoulders, a stark contrast to the black corset, which had been cinched enough to give him a more feminine shape, and a pair of very skimpy black drawers. That on its own would have been sexy as hell, but someone had also given him makeup - a fairly simple face, but expertly contoured to soften his masculine features. It was an astonishing transformation, considering how little time he'd taken.

Alisaie looked as stunned as I felt. " Fuck , Raha. You look... incredible."

G'raha blushed adorably. "I couldn't do anything about these," he said, gesturing to his ears and tail. "So..." I couldn't take my eyes off him as he padded over and stretched out on the bed next to me, then gently pulled my face toward his neck. "Come here and smell this."

I inhaled cautiously, smelling perfume and... something else. Something I couldn't identify, but which eased the pain in my cock slightly. "Gods," I groaned, driving my face into the crook of his neck. "What is that?"

He cleared his throat. "Scent from one of your female viera... admirers."

A hot, sickly wave of shame washed over me. I wanted to pull away, but I couldn't seem to make myself let go of G'raha. Entirely contrary to my will, my body seemed to move on its own as I pulled myself tightly against him, wanting to feel his skin on every inch of my body. "That's... incredibly humiliating."

G'raha made a sympathetic noise and shifted so that I could wrap my leg around one of his. "I understand how you feel, but let me at least assure you that her consent was extremely and unambiguously enthusiastic."

I whimpered and rutted my erection against his leg. "That's nice, but it doesn't stop me from hating every second of this."

"Your reaction confirms some things for me, so..." G'raha stroked my hair soothingly. "I know this is a fraught subject for you, but. You're going to have to get me pregnant."

My cock felt as if it had been hit by lightning. I grit my teeth and squirmed with discomfort at the intense rush of arousal his statement provoked, even though breeding had always been a hard line for me in our bedroom play, and spent the next several moments wrestling down the urge to tear G'raha's drawers off and start fucking him that instant.

I was a human , not some rutting beast! I hadn't let my own people reduce me to a biological imperative, and I'd be damned if I let some two-bit arena "champion" take that from me after I'd beaten her.

"You're a man!" I wailed. "And a Mi'quote!"

"That doesn't invalidate my gender - men can and do get pregnant. I could get pregnant with another Mi'quote."

It seemed very important to win this argument, but it was hard to argue with a nearly-naked G'raha even when my cock wasn't stealing all the blood from my brain, and under the present circumstances... "I'm not--"

"It's my choice." G'raha forced my head up so that I could see his face, and my heart contracted at the love and worry I saw reflected in his eyes. "Savvel, I know you left home because you couldn't stand the thought of being a breeder. But breeding is what these pheromones are compelling you to do right now, and breeding with me is the best and safest way to get you through this. If you hate it, we don't ever have to do it again. But while it's happening... try to think of it as a safe way to explore something you've always been horrified by."

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. "That... makes a lot of sense," I grumbled reluctantly.

Alisaie startled me when she spoke up. "Should I go? I mean, I'd happily stay because... fuck , you two are so hot right now. But... should I go?"

I blushed hotly and was faintly amazed that I had enough blood left anywhere else in my body to do so. "You don't have to leave. It's common for viera women who are in season to. Uh. Share the males when they come around."

Alisaie was trying very hard not to smile, and not quite succeeding. "So if I cheer you two on and talk up how much I want you to put a baby in me next..."

I whined with pain as my discomfort ratched up several notches. "Yes. Please. That. Can we get to the fucking now, please?"

G'raha grimaced and started removing his drawers. "Up against the headboard. You'll be able to smell me better if I ride you while you're sitting up."

I shimmied backward and propped a pillow behind my back as I got into position. I was dimly aware of Alisaie shedding her own clothing, but couldn't take my eyes off of G'raha as he crawled up the bed, straddled me, and ground against my cock.

I humiliated myself by pushing my face into his neck and coming from that alone.

It did, at least, do a better job of relieving my discomfort than Alisaie's mouth, but... "I need to come inside you, Raha," I pleaded.

"My apologies. I'll admit, I wasn't expecting you to be quite that sensitive." G'raha swiped his hand through the spend on my chest, used it to lubricate my cock, and sunk down onto me, taking my entire length at once.

I sobbed with relief and arched my back as he braced his hands on the headboard and started to ride me.

"That's it, love. Time to breed." He leaned forward so that his neck would be close to my face as he fucked me, and I just about died from how good he smelled. "I'm going to milk that cock of yours. Get you to fill me right up with cum, make me nice and pregnant."

I shuddered, horrified at hearing this kind of talk from G'raha, but I couldn't deny the wave of pleasure that hit me, or stop myself from bucking up to meet him.

"I think Savvel likes that," Alisaie cooed. "Keep going."

"That's it, love," G'raha said encouragingly. "You want to put a baby in me, don't you?"

I moaned and nodded frantically. My cock was steadily leaking into G'raha by this point, the juices of my arousal causing him to squelch softly as he rode me, making me feel as if I was indeed being milked.

"Think of Raha with your baby inside him, walking around with that cute little pregnant waddle," Alisaie added. "And what his belly would look like as he's bouncing on your cock."

I moaned even louder at the image, despite its deep emotional repugnance, as my orgasm loomed over me.

"That's it. Let go," Alisaie said in a low, husky voice. I could imagine her hand wrapped around her cock, but I couldn't let go of G'raha, could only cling to him helplessly and desperately drank in his scent as I tried not to die from sheer pleasure. "Shoot your seed nice and deep, and then you can breed me."

That did it.

I cried out, every muscle in my body spasming in pleasure as I spent inside G'raha, then collapsed limply against the headboard and desperately tried to catch my breath. This time, I felt the blessed sensation of my cock starting to soften, though the need was still there, lurking around the edges. "One more, I think," I panted, then winced. "But also... off . I'm starting to chafe."

G'raha kissed my forehead and pulled off of me, and Alisaie extended a hand to use some healing magic on my poor, abused member.

There were tears running down my face that I couldn't stop. "I hate that I like this so much," I whined. "I know you said it's okay, but it feels so wrong."

G'raha shushed me and pet my hair. "It's okay, love. It's all pretend, and we don't ever have to do this again once you're done."

" Good ," I replied fervently.

Alisaie looked up at me as she let the flow of magic stop. "Feel better?"

I looked down at my cock (which was starting to stiffen again from the residual tingling of healing energies now that the pain was gone) and sighed gustily. "I don't feel like I'm losing my mind anymore, but I definitely need one more. And I think me fucking Raha this time will help the most."

Alisaie moved aside to give us more space before she resumed stroking her own fully-hard cock. "Any objection to letting me finish in your mouth when they're done, Raha? If I can be patient that long, that is."

G'raha smiled at Alisaie as he lay back and spread his legs. "Of course not."

" Gods , Raha, I don't deserve you." I covered him and pressed my cock back into him with a groan. And it was good, it was always good, but... "Damn. I'm pretty overstimulated." I whined in frustration as I tried to find an angle that wasn't so sensitive. "I need to come, but it's going to be. Uh. Difficult." I corrected myself at the last second to cut off Alisaie's inevitable pun.

"It's okay, love. We'll get you there," G'raha murmured gently as he pulled my face back toward his neck. I inhaled deeply, and that helped, but not as much as what Alisaie said next.

"You won't be able to fuck Raha in that position for long once he's pregnant, you know. Too much pressure on his stomach."

I groaned with pleasure as the friction of G'raha's hole against my cock became markedly less painful. "Yes. More," I gasped.

"Raha might not want to keep the tits, but mine will get nice and big when you put a baby in me too."

"You'll have to fuck us on all fours," G'raha said quickly, continuing the scenario.

"Or have us ride your cock."

"Think of how good Alisaie's big, pregnant tits will look while she's bouncing on your dick."

It didn't make any sense, I knew it didn't make any fucking sense, but my cock didn't care. Something about the mental image of an impossibly-pregnant Alisaie bouncing on my cock with milk-heavy breasts drove me crazy. It seemed to drive G'raha crazy too - he started moaning as Alisaie went on to describe the things I could do to her swollen body, and I could tell that G'raha would come if we changed position.

I pulled out of G'raha abruptly and flipped him over. "I want you to come," I panted, tugging urgently on his hips.

Thankfully, he knew what I wanted and was eager to oblige. He scrambled onto all fours, plunged two fingers into himself, then started stroking his dick as I fucked back into him.

My brain was pudding by that point, and I would have said just about anything. Still, I definitely wasn't expecting to hear myself ask, "w-will our kids call you Daddy?"

G'raha moaned and thrust back against me. "Yes. But I can't be a Daddy if you don't get me pregnant, so hurry up and put that baby in me."

"Come for me, then, and make me believe you want it!"

G'raha moaned loudly and threw his head back as he lost the rhythm of our movement, and a moment later he cried out and clenched around me. I shouted loud enough that they probably heard it on the First, buried my cock to the hilt inside him, and spent what felt like a river of cum. As soon as Raha subsided, I went limp and flopped onto my back, panting as if I'd just run a marathon.

G'raha flopped onto his stomach beside me. "A moment," he gasped. He took half a minute to catch his breath, then flipped onto his back and opened his mouth.

Alisaie groaned and immediately started fucking his face. At any other time, the sight of her small, perfect breasts jiggling as she thrust into G'raha's lewdly sucking mouth would have been impossibly enticing. But while I felt emotionally moved by the frustration she had endured to help me, my cock felt as if it might never stir again.

Thank the Gods.

Alisaie thrust about a dozen times, then made G'raha take her up to the root as she came down his throat. "Fuck," she groaned. "I'm sorry to benefit from your suffering, Savvel, but that was so fucking hot."

I whimpered, and G'raha had to prevent me from curling into a ball by octopusing himself around me. "I never. Want to do that. Again."

- - -

I slept until the next day and woke up to tea and a nice breakfast. "It's for a good cause," Alisaie said, cutting off my grumpiness. "And your next opponent is a big, dumb bully who uses a bomb for his feral soul, so no worries about a repeat of all this."

"Thank the Gods," I muttered, tearing into the feast laid out in front of me.

There was silence for a minute as we enjoyed our meal. Then Alisaie cleared her throat. "What if... what if I fought her? Honey," she added, when we didn't immediately take her meaning.

G'raha (who was back in his masculine attire, to my immense relief) raised an eyebrow. "Go on."

Alisaie smiled. "You can find a nice Elezen to sit on your face during my fight so you smell right while I'm fucking you, and I won't be in such a bad state because this time we'll know how to handle it."

G'raha took a sip of tea as he considered. "I'd want to skip the drag. Fucking in a corset isn't something I'd like to do again." I put my head in my hands, and grit my teeth to keep from apologizing (which I had been forbidden to do). When I had mastered myself, G'raha was watching me with a sympathetic expression.

"I understand why you hate it, Savvel. But we're different people, with different experiences. I never had the same issues with breeding that you did because I left home, and then I transitioned, and I pass well enough to call myself a Tia. And it's not something I'd want to do regularly, or with anyone other than the two of you, but... It was fun." G'raha smiled and gave me a mischievous wink. "And I look forward to doing it with Alisaie, because I think she'll be much filthier."

"You know it," Alisaie quipped. "And, drag or no drag - either way is just as hot for me."

"Then sure. Sounds fun." G'raha twinkled at Alisaie, then turned his gaze back on me. "Should we count you out?"

My lovers gave me space to think as I searched my feelings. The idea of a frantically desperate Alisaie did sound very appealing, but the idea of engaging with more breeding play made me uncomfortable. "I'd like to watch, but not participate, I think. It sounds hot, I just... don't want to engage with it."

"Great." Alisiae gave me a too-innocent smile before looking back at G'raha. "I'll start mixing up a big batch of baby batter." She cackled when I gagged and G'raha choked on a mouthful of tea.

I glared at Alisaie and waved a finger at her impotently. "I take it back. That was repugnant, and if you say anything like that around me before the fight, I'll have Metem ban you from the arena. And he'll do it, because he needs to keep me happy!"

Alisaie just waggled her eyebrows at me. "Understood."

---

End Notes:

Hat tip to whoever on Tumblr made the joke about huffing grandma - I couldn't find the post again to credit them.

Alisaie's last line is something I read while researching this fic and will haunt me until I fucking die.

Notes:

1. I am aware that the devs claim that everything from 2.0 through Dawntrail has taken less than a year, and I call bullshit. Plot mentions of transit time (four months sailing to Doma, three months to Sharlyan) reveals this to be dev laziness, pure and simple. You can't tell me I ended a 1000 year war, liberated two nations on different continents from their colonial oppressors, traveled to an alternate dimension to prevent a future where I died, went to the moon and the literal edge of existence to stop the end of the world, and traveled the length and breadth of the fantasy equivalent of North and South America... All in less than one year. No. Absolutely not. No way.
So I'm ignoring that. My personal headcanon is that it's been as long in-game as it's been in the real world. Ish.

2. My WoL is a non-binary viera.

3. Follow my in-progress writing ramblings on Bluesky: @ashthestampede.bsky.social | Support my writing on Patreon & read ongoing chapters of my original works 2 months before they're released anywhere else: patreon.com/ashkreider

GHIMLYT

The war camp was a flurry of preparations. It took effort to keep my expression light as I made my way through the camp to the final strategy meeting before the assault, not wanting the rank and file to see their vaunted "Champion of Eorzea" as anything other than the fearless paragon I was supposed to be.

How was I supposed to be a symbol of hope when I was struggling to hold onto it myself?

Were the others here, we could have easily held off half an Imperial Legion with just Scions alone, but now only two of us remained to take the field. Would it be enough?

After all, Papalymo wasn't here to pull a rabbit out of his hat this time.

"Please, Hydaelyn. Let that damnable voice stay away until after the battle is finished," I muttered to myself, making a furtive gesture of warding.

Alisaie appeared out of the hustle and bustle, falling into step beside me. "Ready to frighten some Garleans?" she asked with breezy self-assurance, giving me a smile that was equally parts teasing and challenging.

Gods. She really had changed so much in the two years we'd known each other, hadn't she? When we'd first met in Ul'dah, she'd been a surly teenager so uncertain of her identity that she'd settled for being a pale imitation of her twin, despite being entirely unsuited to being a scholar or an Arcanist. And now here she was, a Red Mage nearly on par with my own strength, and a seasoned campaigner to boot.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Shit. I hadn't meant to stare. "I'm just. I'm glad you're here," I said awkwardly.

Alisaie blushed and looked away. "Well I couldn't very well abandon you, could I?"

I smiled. "And I'm grateful to have you at my back, but I do feel rather naked without the other Scions here."

"I wouldn't mind seeing that," Alisaie quipped, mischief dancing in her eyes as she looked back up at me with a suggestive smile.

Unaccountably, I tripped over my own foot.

Alisaie grinned at my discomfort and broke into a jog. "Come on then," she called over her shoulder. "Or they'll get started without us!"

My heart thudded painfully in my chest as I stared after her for a long moment.

What the hell had just happened?

- - -

It says a lot about the life I've lived since coming to Eorzea that Garlean invasions were starting to feel old hat, but. Well.

Hien and Yugiri talked me up to their countrymen, whose contingent I would be fighting with. Raubahn gave the usual stirring speech. And then it was over, and all there was left to do was wait.

When the council was over, Raubahn joined Pippin in his futile attempts to convince Nanamo to retire from the field while the other worthies scattered to attend to their own business, once more leaving me alone with Alisaie.

"I should be terrified," she mused, crossing her arms as she surveyed the rest of the camp. "But with you at our side, I can't help but feel everything is going to be all right."

I shrugged, unable to muster any other response, and she turned to pin me with a glare.

"So don't you dare leave me alone."

My stomach did a slow swan dive as I stared into her piercingly blue eyes, and I only belatedly remembered to nod.

That seemed to satisfy her, at least. "No matter what happens, we have to survive," she said in a steely voice. "Together."

Was I blushing? I might have been blushing. "I promise," I said hoarsely.

Alisaie nodded jerkily, then turned away as she self-consciously made a show of checking her equipment.

I did the same as I wrestled with my feelings.

What in the hells was I thinking? Alisaie was a... Well, technically she wasn't a child, but at my age, using the fact that she was eighteen to justify any kind of relationship would be nothing but rank sophistry, and we both knew it.

"I have to get my head back in the game," I muttered to myself, scrubbing my hand across my face.

And then, without warning, that electric, obliterating pain was back - like someone was trying to yank my soul out through my nostrils.

:THE LIGHT WILL EXPUNGE ALL LIFE.:

"No!" Alisaie gasped, turning back toward me. She staggered, clutching her skull in pain. "Not now!"

:ONLY YOU CAN FORESTALL THE CALAMITY.:

Pain. Pain and fear and pain, and panic in Alisaie's eyes that mirrored my own. "Don't," I gasped. She reached for me, and I struggled to reach back, the movement causing bolts of agony to cascade down my arm. "You can't--"

:THROW. WIDE. THE GATES.:

Alisaie's face was a mask of anguish. "Not like--"

She collapsed like a puppet with her strings cut, and the voice vanished as it made off with its prize. I crawled over - when had I fallen? - and pulled her into my lap. She was breathing, thank the Gods. But I knew that I was holding nothing more than an empty shell.

I was alone.

- - -

AMH ARENG

I'd finally arrived at Journey's Head, only to be told that Alisaie wasn't there. So back into the sands I went.

The sky was too damned bright in the First, and the reflection off the sand was nearly blinding. I should have sent Feo Ul to the Source to request a pair of smoked glasses from Tataru before setting out from the Crystarium, but it was too late for that now.

How typically Alisaie to hare off to the literal edge of the world in search of adventure after finding herself stranded in an alien world.

I could have waited, I suppose. But despite the Exarch's promise that my friends were whole and well, I needed to see her. I needed to know that she-- that they were all okay.

I spent a good twenty minutes trudging through the sands, sword and focus at the ready, before I finally spotted the tell-tale flurry of alabaster wings. However, before I could move to intercept, a familiar voice rang out from somewhere above me. I looked up just in time to see someone leap from the top of an old watch tower, some twenty-five feet up, to plunge a long blade into the sin eater's back.

Alisaie!

I was seized with relief so intense that for a moment I felt dizzy. She was okay!

Better than okay, actually. I'd never seen her make a leap like that before, and there was more strength behind her blows as she took on the weakened sin eater.

I clapped as she finished the monster with a final well-placed thrust. "Impressive!"

"Just a lesser eater," Alisaie she said with studied diffidence, keeping her back to me as she sheathed her blade. "Nothing to write home about."

"Not happy to see me then?" I teased.

"I knew you'd turn up sooner or later, but I had been hoping for sooner," she shot back, her smile as wry as ever.

The fact that she'd be angry with me for distracting her while out on patrol was the only thing that kept me from sweeping her into a giant hug. As it was, I knew I was grinning stupidly and didn't much care. "It's so good to see you."

Alisaie turned away, ostensibly to study the horizon, but the set of her shoulders betrayed her fraying control over her emotions. "Come on then. We can catch up after we finish patrolling."

- - -

Tesleen lit up when she saw us return together. Tesleen and Alisaie were obviously close, because Tesleen immediately started needling her friend extensively about how much she'd missed me, and Alisaie didn't once threaten to stab her.

"I respect Savvel's methods!" Alisaie finally cried, throwing her hands up in disgust.

Tesleen's laughter echoed around the small shelter, and then the conversation took a turn I hadn't expected. "After seeing them in action, I can understand why. The way they leap into the fray without hesitation, it really is something to behold! I might be a little smitten myself!"

Alisaie turned red right up to her hairline and stalked off.

There was a long silence as Tesleen watched me with a knowing look.

"Smitten," I said flatly.

It wasn't a question, but the blonde carer heard what I was asking anyway. "I said I was a little smitten. Her feelings go well beyond that."

I swallowed as I recalled the way she'd smiled in the Ghimlyt camp when she said she wanted to see me naked.

Oh. Oh.

Oh no.

- - -

I tossed and turned that night, plagued by dreams of sin eaters in Garlean uniforms, and woke feeling tired and grumpy.

Over breakfast, we were asked to acquire some supplies at the market, so off we went - the Champion of Eorzea and their heroic companion - to slay the dreaded provision beast. Thankfully, the need to be on the lookout for flying eaters precluded any awkward conversations about feelings, and we fell easily into our old rhythm as we made the hour long trek to the Suq, only relaxing once we'd passed through its thick stone walls.

Our needs were simple. Fresh fruit, particularly nectarines. But Alisaie looked so sad as she carefully packed the delicate fruit into her bag that I realized there had been a hidden significance to the request that I had missed entirely.

"Alisaie..." I began, placing a hand on her shoulder. When she didn't shake it off, I drew her into a hug, thinking only to offer comfort.

However, instead of resisting, Alisaie threw her arms around my neck and hauled me into a deep kiss.

It felt like being struck by lightning. I gasped as her lips moved on mine, parted them reflexively when she licked into her mouth. She pulled herself tightly against me and kissed me like I was the only thing keeping her from drowning, and everything fell away but the feeling of her soft lips and our tongues sliding against one another.

I may have moaned in her mouth.

Which may, had it happened, have emboldened her. Or it may have simply been her own initiative that led to her grab my butt.

With a groan, I broke the kiss and held her at arm's length. "We can't do this," I said sternly, even as the sight of her kiss-swollen lips made me want to kiss her more.

Alisaie took this as well as expected, which is to say not well. "Why not?" she demanded, her expression thunderous.

"You're a child." I'd meant to sound implacable. Unyielding. But my voice came out thin and pleading.

"I'm not a child," she shot back heatedly. "For the love of Thaliak, did you forget the extra year I lived here? I'll be twenty in a few weeks!"

"That doesn't make it right," I growled. My face was on fire, which I can't imagine helped my argument much. "You're so much younger than me."

Alisaie gave ground - it definitely wasn't a retreat - crossed her arms, and glared at me. "Oh and that makes me too impressionable, does it?" she scoffed. "Do you seriously think you could make me do anything I didn't want to do?"

No. I didn't. But I wasn't going to tell her that.

Alisaie's eyes narrowed. "Tell me you don't want me, and I'll drop it," she said in glacial tones.

Shit. Fuck. Shit. There was no point in denying it - she'd know I was lying. She always knew. "Tesleen is waiting," I finally said helplessly.

Alisaie snorted in satisfaction as she shouldered the bag with our purchases, roundly ignoring my attempt to take the bag myself. "We are not done talking about this," she said, jabbing me in the sternum. Hard.

- - -

Alisaie walked in furious silence for the first half hour, and I'd just about resigned myself to days of the silent treatment when she cleared her throat. "Did you know I'm trans?"

I blinked in surprise, but continued scanning around us - the last thing we needed was to get jumped by bandits or coyotes. "No."

She shrugged. "Most people don't. I don't like to talk about it. People get weird, and I've got better things to do than argue about the shape of my genitals." Her voice was less edged than it had been as she glanced over at me, but still I didn't meet her gaze. "Point is, I've put a lot of thought into 'who I am' and 'what I want'. More than most of the Scions combined, I'd wager. Discounting Urianger, of course."

I couldn't help but look surprised as I glanced over at her. She caught me looking and smiled sweetly.

Alisaie one, Champion of Eorzea zero.

- - -

Dinner was... Well. Not exactly pleasant, although there were pleasant moments - the food was delicious, and Alisaie and Tesleen were good company. It was impossible, however, to forget the inn's purpose as the carers circulated to see to their largely silent charges. And yet, these people were determined to seize whatever small scraps of happiness they could find, no matter the bleak fate in store for them.

After dinner, Tesleen went to settle her charges before bed, leaving Alisaie and I alone.

"Elezen don't hit full growth until their mid to late twenties, you know."

I nodded warily but said nothing.

"There's a Hume convention called the Rule of Seven. Have you heard of it?"

"Vaguely."

"A rule of thumb for determining social acceptability of age difference in relationships. It's said that you shouldn't be with someone who is less than half your age plus seven."

I sighed. "Okay. Where are you going with this?"

"Would you sleep with Thancred?"

I wrinkled my nose in distaste. "Not my type. He's pretty enough, but I'm not into men who brood."

Alisaie huffed impatiently. "If he was your type then, would you?"

"I suppose."

"The Rule of Seven says you shouldn't sleep with him, or any of the other Scions for that matter. And yet, I seriously doubt you'd tell Y'shtola she wasn't old enough to know what she wanted if she ever propositioned you." Alisaie pinned me with a sharp look. "Applying the social standards of shorter lived races to Elezen and Viera doesn't make sense, because past a certain point it all becomes arbitrary anyway."

Unable to find fault in her logic, I shifted uncomfortably and said nothing.

"That's what I thought," she said smugly before getting up to help help Tesleen.

I went for a walk to clear my head.

When I returned, one of the carers directed me to an unused bunk. I hung my coat from the end and sat down to pull off my boots, only to be startled by Alisaie appearing out of the gloom with a stack of blankets. "It gets cold at night. You'll want these"

"Thank you," I said stiffly.

She calmly handed me the blankets. "So what's the magic number? Twenty one? Twenty two? Twenty five?"

"It's not about a number," I said wearily. "It's about experience. Or lack of it, in your case." The last came out more sharply than I'd intended, and Alisaie pursed her lips in displeasure.

She leaned forward, arms crossed. "I've known you a long time, Warrior of Light, and I'm positive that I've had more sexual partners than you," she said, clearly trying to shock me.

It worked. "What... I mean. How--"

She cut me off with another of her edged smiles. "You only sleep with people you have a strong bond with. I, on the other hand, have sucked so. Many. Dicks." She paused for emphasis, fluttered her eyelashes at me, and slowly licked her lips. "And I'm very good at it."

Trying not to think of Alisaie's pretty mouth wrapped around my cock was like not thinking about a pink elephant - utterly impossible once the image had been conjured. I held myself utterly still, trying not to react to the dizzying rush of arousal I felt as my pants suddenly grew far too tight. Unfortunately, my lack of rebuttal only gave her room to press her advantage.

Alisaie held my gaze as she raised a finger to her lips and delicately circled the tip with her tongue before sucking it into her mouth with a soft slurping noise.

Oh Gods oh Gods oh Gods.

My face was on fire. I couldn't breathe, couldn't think of anything but the fantasy of blue eyes on mine as my cock sunk into the wet heat of her mouth.

Alisaie slowly withdrew her finger, then pointedly looked down at the ridge of my erection, which was starkly visible through the pristine white pants I loved wearing with my Red Mage's coat. "Hmm."

Point made, she left me alone for the rest of the night.

- - -

The following morning, Halric escaped.

Tesleen looked stricken when she found out. True, he had so little time left before his condition rendered mercy a necessity, lest he transform and continue the cycle that spawned new sin eaters. And yet, he was a child who deserved to be more than the infection gnawing at his soul, and who deserved a more gentle death than vanishing down the maw of a wild beast, or having what little of him remained consumed by an eater.

Alisaie and I paused only long enough to arm ourselves before joining Tesleen in the search. I went North and East, Alisaie North and West, and Tesleen took the promontory to the South.

Tesleen found him first.

Her cry of fury rang out over the dunes, and I scrambled as fast as I could toward the sound, cursing at the difficulty of running on sand. I crested a rise, made eye contact with Alisaie as she rounded a towering rock formation, and we both arrived just in time to watch the horrible scene unfold without any ability to stop it.

Tesleen had faced off against an enormous eater - a stern, imposing angel in alabaster armor - despite being clearly overmatched. She interposed herself between the creature and Halric as the eater's sword came down, managing to knock the blade aside, but wasn't able to parry the riposte that impaled her.

Alisaie and I stood frozen in horror as the color immediately began to seep from her face like wet paint being washed from a canvas as Tesleen rapidly transformed from a bright, compassionate young woman into a white, winged horror.

The eater lingered to watch its handiwork from a safe height, somehow remaining aloft despite the wing that Tesleen had sliced off, then flew off once the transformation was complete.

Tesleen...

The eater that had once been Tesleen lingered. Horrible, human-sounding noises emerged from its mouth. And then it said Alisaie's name. With a strangled cry, Alisaie darted forward before I could stop her, but Not-Tesleen was already aloft and following after her maker.

Halric was eerily, utterly silent as he watched the retreating eaters.

Alisaie - that brave, fierce woman who abhorred making any show of emotion - collapsed to her knees and wept.

Woodenly, I went to my knees beside her to offer my shoulder. She clung to me, sobbed for half a minute, then stood and mastered herself with grim determination. "We have to get Halric back," she rasped. " We... we have to tell the others."

I nodded, and Alisaie gently took Halric's hand and led him back toward Journey's Head.

I followed mutely behind, sword at the ready, and ached for her suffering, which I realized was a twin to my own. When faced with the evils of the world, we loved too hard, felt too deeply, and subsumed the pain of inevitable loss into helping people.

I wished she had let me hold her longer.

- - -

Alisaie was withdrawn with grief as we started our journey back to the Crystarium. The only sign of spirit she showed were the furious glares she gave me when I attempted to offer comfort.

As we passed the rest of our journey in silence, I couldn't help but miss her attempts at seduction.

Not that I had changed my mind.

- - -

EULMORE

Alisaie sent me to fetch her brother by myself, claiming that she had business to attend to in the Crystarium. So I went alone, hoping that she would find the space she needed to grieve while I was gone. It was good to see Alphinaud alive and well after so many months of worrying, but if I was being honest with myself, his presence only made me feel Alisaie's absence more keenly.

After far too much effort, we finally won our admission to the so-called Final City by successfully convincing a noble couple that Alphinaud was the painter they needed to immortalize their love for the occasion of their anniversary. As I spent most of that first day roaming the city and talking to its inhabitants, I once more wished that Alisaie were with me - keeping her from punching nobles would have made it easier for me not to punch them myself.

That evening I discovered that even a lowly "painter's assistant" rated a private chamber with a bed large enough to sleep five comfortably. Given a choice, I would have taken the austerity of Journey's Head and the pleasure of good company over being subjected to such ludicrous opulence in solitude.

My thoughts inevitably returned to Alisaie as I tried to settle myself for sleep, which summoned the memory of her bragging about her prowess at sucking dicks. My cock slowly stiffened as my traitorous brain replayed the memory of Alisaie suggestively sucking her finger at me over and over again. Finally, knowing that I wouldn't be able to sleep until I'd gotten myself off, I sighed, sat up, and retrieved a vial of lamp oil from my bag. I poured some out onto my hand, before pulling up my nightgown and taking myself in hand.

Since thinking about Alisaie would have been all but admitting defeat, I summoned the thought of Aymeric instead, and the quickie we'd had for old times' sake in his office the last time I'd visited. I held the image of him firmly in mind as I started to stroke myself slowly, forcing myself to crowd out my desire for Alisaie with the memory of Aymeric.

His mouth had been firm and insistent on mine as we'd kissed, kisses that had quickly gone from tender to frenetic. We'd torn each other's clothes off in a frenzy of urgency, and I'd taken him over his desk.

My breathing quickened and my strokes grew faster as I forced myself to recall the encounter in vivid detail. The way he had wriggled impatiently against me as I worked him open with my fingers. The gasp he'd made as I slowly sunk my cock into him. The arch of his back, and his low moan when he'd taken me fully. The demands of his schedule had been too great for seduction or subtlety, but Aymeric had been so needy, so desperate to be fucked that neither of us had minded. I'd gripped his hips tight enough to leave bruises, bruises I knew he'd relish, and he'd thrust back to meet me as I pounded into him.

Gods dammit all, I hadn't gotten quite enough oil.

Impatiently, I poured more onto my hand, getting more than I intended, and resumed my stroking. I tried to remember how it had felt as he'd writhed and moaned underneath me, but the overly-slick sensation of too much oil brought with it the image of a wet mouth engulfing me. My thumb became a tongue flicking across the head of my cock, my tightening grip the pressure of obscene sucking.

I couldn't hold back my release. With my last fragment of will, I told myself that it was black hair, not white, that I pictured falling over ice-blue eyes that looked at me with smug satisfaction.

- - -

LAKELAND

Our business in Eulmore was concluded abruptly and unpleasantly with our forced precipitous departure from the city. And, as is the way of things, our reunion with Alisaie and the Exarch was followed by a series of emergencies too urgent to ignore, culminating with the sin eater attack on Holminster Switch.

It seemed only right that Alisaie was at my side as we rushed to save those we could from the eaters as they swarmed through the village. Tesleen was there, one of many eaters who fell beneath our blades, but Alisaie didn't falter for a moment.

Gods, I was proud of her.

We pressed on, and when the time came I plunged my sword into the Lightwarden's chest, absorbing the light-aspected aether that erupted from it with my Blessing of Light.

And then it was over.

Alisaie had turned away from the others, her shoulders shaking with tears she wouldn't allow anyone to see. I knew I should stay away, that I was too tired and too heart-sore to continue keeping her at arm's length. But given a choice between heartlessness and foolishness, I'll choose foolishness every time.

Her face tipped up toward mine as I folded her into my arms. "Just now, you let me fight at your side and risk my very soul to help you save two worlds. How is it that that's okay, but having sex with me isn't?"

I shook my head and smiled sadly. "You know I don't have an answer to that."

"I've thought long and hard about who I am and what I want," she said, somehow tender and fierce and entreating all at the same time. "My opinions are grounded in a lot of life experience, more than most people get in a lifetime, and I am not easily influenced. And I know that you want me." She paused to wipe away the tears she hadn't been able to stop from spilling over. "And I'm very sad about my friend, so stop being stupid and just kiss me already."

I swallowed, feeling as if I was stepping off the edge of a precipice too high to see what awaited below. "We... I can't make promises."

"I'm not asking for love eternal and a white picket fence. I know that's not who you are, just as it's not who I am. All I'm asking for is right here. Right now. Tomorrow can take care of itself."

"Then I yield to your superior logic," I murmured as I bent to meet her lips.

She tangled her fingers through my hair as she kissed me with unexpected gentleness, and somehow I was the one who melted into her arms.

It was a relief, then, when I surfaced for air and saw her looking as stunned as I felt. That is, until she licked her lips and smiled up at me through half-lidded eyes. "Does that mean I can finally suck your dick?"

"I don't see how I could stop you," I said with a resigned sigh, doing my best to ignore my cock's enthusiastic endorsement of the notion.

"If you're going to be like that, then I don't think I want to after all," Alisaie snapped.

"You're right," I said quickly with a grimace. "That was ungracious of me."

Alisaie's expression shifted from annoyed to calculating. "You do want it then?" she purred, palming the front of my trousers, smirking in triumph when I didn't quite stifle a moan.

Mortified, I looked around for Alphinaud and was glad to see that he was deeply engrossed in a conversation with Lyna and the Exarch. "Yes. Not now, obviously. But yes."

"Of course, but." She smiled sweetly and patted my cheek. "You'll need to say please."

I gently but firmly disengaged, putting several feet between us, and buttoned my heavy Red Mage's coat to hide my now considerable erection. "You, madame. Are a menace," I muttered darkly.

Alisaie winked as she turned to join the others. "Only because you like it."