The fluorescent lights of the New Hope Community Shelter buzzed like trapped wasps, casting a sickly glow over the rows of folding tables and metal chairs. Wallace adjusted the too-tight collar of his polo shirt-navy blue, the same as the other volunteers-and glanced at the cross hanging above the serving counter. Its shadow stretched long and thin across the floor, a dagger pointed at his chest.

“Wallace! Quit dawdling and grab the ladle.”

Pastor Mark’s voice cut through the clatter of trays, sharp as the creases in his button-down. Wallace flinched, nearly dropping the stack of napkins in his hands. The shelter director stood by the industrial soup pots, arms crossed over his broad chest, his salt-and-pepper beard twitching with disapproval.

“Yes, sir,” Wallace mumbled. He kept his eyes down as he shuffled toward the counter, where steam rose in greasy spirals from vats of chicken noodle. The scent of overboiled carrots made his stomach churn-or maybe it was the way Pastor Mark’s gaze followed him, heavy with expectation.

Act normal. Just be normal.

He’d repeated the mantra all through junior year, through locker room panic and his mother’s lectures about “God’s plan for young men.” Volunteering here was supposed to be his penance, his parents said. A way to “build character” instead of wasting summers at the mall. But the shelter’s cracked linoleum and stained aprons felt more like a sanctuary than church ever had. Here, no one asked why he lingered near the women’s restroom or why his hands shook when someone called him son.

“Need a hand with those?”

Wallace turned to find a girl his age leaning against the counter, her volunteer shirt untucked and rolled at the sleeves to show tattooed forearms-a sleeve of ferns and songbirds. Her name tag read Gail in loopy cursive, the i dotted with a tiny heart.

“I’ve got it,” Wallace said too quickly, fumbling the ladle. Broth splashed onto his wrist.

Gail raised an eyebrow. “Clearly.” She grabbed a rag and tossed it to him, her cropped hair catching the light like polished mahogany. “Relax, newbie. The holy terror’s too busy lecturing Mrs. Kowalski about ‘modest attire’ to notice your existential crisis.”

Wallace followed her nod to where Pastor Mark loomed over an elderly woman in a moth-eaten cardigan, his voice low but carrying. “-and we must set an example, Mrs. Kowalski. Those shorts are hardly appropriate for God’s house.”

The woman hunched deeper into her chair, a bruised peach trembling in her hands.

Gail rolled her eyes. “Real shepherding there, huh? Protecting the flock from… knees.” She plucked a dinner roll from the tray and bit into it defiantly. “Come on. Let’s get the drinks station set up before he finds a new target.”

Wallace trailed her to the corner, where a dented cooler sweated onto the floor. He’d noticed Gail before-the way she laughed with the guests, high-fiving the kids and slipping extra cookies to the teens. Once, he’d seen her calmly correct a donor who’d misgendered a resident: “They use they/them, actually. Easy mistake!” She’d smiled, but her eyes were flint.

“So.” Gail heaved a stack of paper cups onto the table. “You’re Wallace, right? The mystery man who never talks.”

He stiffened. “I talk.”

“Uh-huh. To soup.” She grinned, nudging him with her elbow. “Relax, I’m messing with you. You’re the only one here who doesn’t treat the guests like zoo exhibits. I respect that.”

Heat crept up his neck. “They’re people. Not projects.”

“Preach.” Gail’s smile softened. She started lining up juice boxes-grape, apple, not the cheap orange Pastor Mark insisted on-and Wallace watched her hands. Chipped black polish, a silver ring shaped like a feather. He wondered what it would feel like to have nails that color, to wear a name tag that said something else.

The dining hall doors swung open, and a group of teenagers slouched in-hoodies drawn tight, backpacks dragging. Wallace’s breath caught. The tallest, a lanky kid with faded green hair, paused to adjust their beanie, fingers brushing the pronoun pin on their strap: THEY/THEM.

“Jay’s here,” Gail said quietly. “They’ve been couch-hopping since their mom kicked them out. Pastor Dickhead thinks they’re ‘confused.’”

Jay caught Gail’s wave and shuffled over, shoulders hunched against the room. Up close, their acne scars and chipped nail polish made them look both older and painfully young.

“Hey, Jay.” Gail slid a juice box across the table. “Hungry?”

“Starving.” Jay’s voice was raspy, like they’d been crying. They glanced at Wallace, then away.

“This is Wallace.” Gail nudged him. “He’s cool.”

Jay nodded, picking at their sleeve. Wallace’s throat tightened. He knew that look-the hollowed-out fear of being seen and unseen all at once.

“The, um. The soup’s good today,” he managed.

Jay snorted. “It’s never good.”

Gail laughed, bright and sudden, and Wallace felt something unclench in his chest.

“Wallace! Front and center.”

Pastor Mark’s bark shattered the moment. Wallace turned to find him holding a clipboard, his pen tapping an impatient rhythm. “Time for headcounts. I need you to read the names.”

The room tilted. No. Not that.

“I can do it,” Gail said, half-rising.

“This is a man’s responsibility,” Pastor Mark said, without looking at her. “Wallace.”

The clipboard felt like a live wire in his hands. He stared at the list-thirty names, each a knife:

James Abbott

Maria Chen

Wallace Green

His vision blurred. The W yawned like a wound.

“Begin,” Pastor Mark said.

Wallace’s mouth moved on autopilot. “James Abbott?”

“Here.”

“Maria Chen?”

A hand rose by the windows.

“Wallace Green?”

Silence.

“Wallace Green?”

Gail’s foot brushed his under the table. Jay stared at their lap.

“Present,” Wallace whispered.

The room blurred. He finished the list in a daze, the sound of his deadname ringing in his ears long after the last here. When he handed the clipboard back, Pastor Mark’s frown deepened.

“Stand up straight, son. You’re slouching like a girl.”

The words hit like a slap. Wallace fled to the kitchen, where the industrial dishwasher’s roar drowned out the voices in his head-girlgirlgirlgirl-until his hands stopped shaking.

He didn’t notice the old woman watching him from the corner, her eyes sharp as broken glass.