Demands My Soul -13-

The author was inspired by these words in writing the title and this novel and gives thanks to THE ONE above.

Chapter 13: Meeting Paula

The basement meeting room of St. Mark's Community Center felt different tonight. Maybe it was the way the October evening light filtered through the high windows, casting longer shadows across the circle of mismatched chairs. Maybe it was the fact that Delores had finally made peace with her decision to fight Craig's legal challenge without hiding who she was. Or maybe it was simply that she was finally ready to see what had been in front of her all along.

She arrived early, as she always did, needing the quiet moments before the group assembled to center herself and prepare for the vulnerability that these meetings required. But tonight, she wasn't alone in her early arrival. A woman sat in one of the chairs across the circle, reading a book and occasionally glancing up at the door as other members trickled in.

Delores had noticed her before—it was impossible not to. She was striking in the way that authentic people always were, with dark hair that fell in natural waves and eyes that seemed to see everything with gentle curiosity. But more than her physical beauty, there was something about her presence that drew attention. She carried herself with the quiet confidence of someone who had fought for the right to exist as herself and won.

"Mind if I sit here?" Delores asked, gesturing to the chair next to her.

The woman looked up from her book—something about trauma-informed care for LGBTQ+ youth—and smiled. "Please do. I'm Paula, by the way. I don't think we've been properly introduced, though I've heard you speak in group before."

"Delores. And I've noticed you too." She settled into the chair, immediately feeling more at ease than she had in weeks. "What brings you to group tonight? You seem like you've got things pretty well figured out."

Paula laughed, a sound that was both musical and slightly rueful. "Do I? That's good to know, because most days I feel like I'm making it up as I go along." She closed her book and turned to face Delores more fully. "I come to group because it reminds me that I'm not alone in this journey. And because sometimes I need to remember that the struggles I went through were worth it."

"What kind of struggles?"

"The usual ones. Family rejection, workplace discrimination, the daily challenge of existing authentically in a world that would prefer I didn't." Paula's expression grew more serious. "My parents disowned me when I transitioned five years ago. Haven't spoken to them since. So I come here to remember what chosen family looks like."

Delores felt a pang of recognition. "I'm sorry. That must have been devastating."

"It was. But it also taught me something important—that the people who can't love you for who you really are were never really loving you at all. They were loving an idea of you, a performance, a version of you that never actually existed."

The words hit Delores like a physical blow, not painful but startling in their accuracy. "That's... that's exactly what I've been trying to understand about my own family situation."

"Want to talk about it?"

Before Delores could answer, Janet called the group to order, and the familiar ritual of check-ins began. But throughout the meeting, she found herself stealing glances at Paula, drawn to the way she listened with complete attention, the way she offered support without judgment, the way she seemed to understand the language of family rejection and chosen love that they all spoke here.

When it was Paula's turn to share, she talked about her work as a Certified Nursing Assistant at a group home for LGBTQ+ youth, about the kids she worked with who had been thrown out of their homes for being themselves, about the challenge of helping them build new families from scratch.

"I see myself in every one of these kids," she said, her voice steady but emotional. "The fear, the confusion, the desperate need to be seen and accepted for who they really are. And I try to be for them what I needed when I was going through my own transition—someone who believes in their worth, someone who sees their authenticity as a gift rather than a problem."

When the meeting ended and people began to disperse, Delores found herself lingering, not quite ready to return to her apartment and the legal documents that awaited her there. Serina seemed to be in no hurry either, helping Janet stack chairs and clean up the coffee station.

"Can I ask you something?" Delores said as they worked side by side.

"Of course."

"How do you do it? How do you stay so... centered, so confident, when you're dealing with family rejection and workplace challenges and all the daily microaggressions that come with being who we are?"

Paula paused in her chair-stacking, considering the question seriously. "I think it's because I finally learned the difference between being alone and being lonely. I was lonely for years when I was trying to be someone I wasn't, even when I was surrounded by people who claimed to love me. Now I might be alone sometimes, but I'm not lonely, because I'm finally in good company with myself."

"That's beautiful."

"It's also practical. When you stop trying to earn love by being someone else, you create space for people to love who you actually are. And those relationships—the ones based on truth rather than performance—they're worth everything."

They finished cleaning up in comfortable silence, and as they prepared to leave, Paula turned to Delores with a slightly shy smile.

"I don't usually do this, but would you like to get coffee sometime? Outside of group, I mean. I feel like we have a lot in common, and I'd love to hear more about your family situation if you're comfortable sharing."

Delores felt conflicted. "Just so you know, I've just begun a relationship with a woman named Serina. In fact, she works with LGBTQ+ youth too. She works to get them into group homes like the one you work at Paula. I was wondering if the three of us could get together for coffee. I'd like that a lot."

They exchanged numbers, and as they walked out of the community center together, Delores felt something she hadn't experienced in months—genuine hope. Not the fragile hope that depended on favorable legal outcomes, but the deeper hope that came from connection, from being seen and understood by someone who spoke her language.

"There's something I should probably tell you," Delores said as they reached their cars. "I'm dealing with some complicated legal stuff right now. Family inheritance issues that might get pretty public and messy."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not tonight. But if we're going to be friends, you should know that my life is kind of chaotic right now."

Paula's smile was warm and understanding. "Delores, I work with LGBTQ+ youth who've been rejected by their families. I've been disowned by my own parents. I think I can handle a little chaos."

Paula, Delores and Serina met at a small café in Virginia-Highland, the kind of place where they could be without the weight of the outside world pressing down on them.

Paula arrived first and had already claimed a table by the window when Delores and Serina walked in hand in hand. Paula was reading again—this time a novel by Carmen Maria Machado—and looked up with a smile. Serina smiled back at both of them which made Delores's stomach flutter in the most wonderful way.

"You're a reader," Delores observed as she settled into the chair across from her with Serina taking the one between them.

"Occupational hazard. I'm always trying to understand how people make sense of their experiences, how they find language for things that feel impossible to articulate." Paula closed the book and gave Delores her full attention. "What about you? What do you do when you're not dealing with complicated legal stuff?"

"I'm a graphic designer. I work for a nonprofit that advocates for LGBTQ+ youth, actually. Serina works getting LGBTQ+ youth into safe spaces as well. We might have some overlap in our work."

"Really? Which organization?"

As they talked about their work, Delores and Serina felt the same sense of feeling of meeting someone who understood her world, who spoke her language, who didn't need explanations for the basic realities of living authentically in a hostile world.

"Can I ask about the legal situation now?" Paula said when they'd ordered their second round of coffee. "You seemed pretty stressed about it the other night."

Delores took a deep breath and told her everything—the discriminatory will, Craig's challenge, the choice between authenticity and inheritance. Paula listened without interruption, her expression growing more outraged with each detail.

"Your own brother is trying to legally erase you for money," she said when Delores finished. "That's not just greed—that's cruelty."

"The worst part is that he's using my parents' prejudices to justify it. He's taking their inability to accept me and turning it into a weapon against my right to exist."

"What are you and Serina going to do?"

"Fight it. We've decided to fight it without hiding who we are or compromising my authenticity. My attorney thinks we have a good case, but it's going to mean exposing everything—my relationships, my private life, my authentic self."

Paula reached across the table and took her hand. "That takes incredible courage." Serina took the other hand.

"Or incredible stupidity. I'm not sure which."

Serina said, "Courage. Definitely courage." Serina's grip tightened slightly.

Paula explained, "I've seen what happens when people try to win acceptance by denying themselves. It never works, and it always costs more than it's worth."

"Even if it means losing the inheritance?"

Paula replied, "Especially if it means losing the inheritance. Because what's the point of winning money if you have to become someone else to keep it?"

"Of course." said a smiling Serina who still held Delores hand tight log after Paula had released the other hand.

"Can you tell me about how you two got so close so quickly? What was it that changed you from acquaintances to girlfriends?" Paula questioned.

"We met in a restaurant like this one actually. After we sat down comfortably quiet at a table, our hands clasped across the small table, and I felt something shifting inside my chest. I decided that this wasn't just friendship, wasn't just the casual connection of two people who happened to share similar experiences. This was something deeper, more significant, more dangerous to my carefully constructed defenses. and then Serina broke the silence and spoke to me.".

"I should probably tell you," Serina said, her voice slightly hesitant, "that I'm attracted to you. I have been since the first time I saw you in group. There's something about your courage, your determination to live authentically despite the cost, that just... it takes my breath away."

I felt my cheeks warm. "I'm attracted to you too. But I'm also terrified of complicating things right now, of giving Craig's legal team more ammunition to use against me."

"I understand. And I'm not asking for anything you're not ready to give. But I also want you to know that I'm here, that I see you, that I think you're worth fighting for regardless of what any legal document says."

"What if this gets messy? What if my legal battle affects you, affects your work, affects your life?"

"Then we'll deal with it together. I've been fighting for the right to exist authentically my entire adult life, Delores. This would just be the latest battle in a war I was already fighting."

After a pause our conversation continued as we walked toward Serina's apartment which was close by the restaurant.

"I have a confession," Serina said as they paused at a crosswalk. "I've been hoping you'd ask me out since the second time I saw you outside of your group. You seemed so strong, so determined, but also so isolated. I wanted to know your story."

I asked, "And now that you know it?"

Serina replied, "Now I want to be part of it. If you'll let me."

I felt tears starting to form, but they were good tears—tears of relief and hope and the kind of connection she had been afraid to hope for. "I'd like that. I'd like that more than I can say."

Serina added, "Good. Because I have another confession—I've been thinking about kissing you since we sat down at the café."

I asked with glee, "What's stopping you?"

Serina confessed, "Nothing, I guess. Except the fear that once I start, I won't want to stop."

I concluded, "Maybe that's not such a bad thing."

Our kiss was gentle at first, tentative, a question being asked and answered. Then it deepened, became more certain, a declaration of intent and hope and the kind of courage that chose connection despite the risks.

When wey broke apart, I felt something fundamental had shifted inside me. I was no longer the woman who faced my legal battle alone, who carried my burdens in isolation, who protected myself from love to avoid additional complications.

"So what happens now?" I asked, echoing the question that had been haunting me for weeks.

"Now we see where this goes. We take it one day at a time, one conversation at a time, one kiss at a time." Serina's smile was radiant. "And we remember that some things are worth fighting for, regardless of what they might cost."

"That's a wonderful story, Delores. Now I can understand how you came to have such a serendipity in your relationship" Paula added, "Thank you both, Delores and Serina. I feel that his is the start of a great friendship for the three of us."

Serina said with her arms wide open for a hug from Paula, "Of course, let's do this again soon."

"My brother Beau amazes me with how he sees souls before shells. He says that since people have eternal souls they are more important than anything on this Earth which will one day pass away. I'm glad to have you as a new friend, Paula." Delores explained and turned to Paula to collect a hug from her as well.

As Paula left Delores and Serina, it was evident that the two had further plans for afterward.

That night, Delores lay in bed thinking about the choice she was making—not just to fight Craig's legal challenge, but to open her heart to Serina. There was no going back now.

She was tired of making decisions based on fear. She was tired of letting Craig's prejudices control her choices. She was tired of protecting herself from love when love was the very thing that made life worth living.

Serina was right—some things were worth fighting for regardless of the cost. And this connection, this possibility, this chance at the kind of love that saw souls before shells—this was definitely worth fighting for.

She picked up her phone and sent a text: Thank you for today. Thank you for seeing me. Thank you for being brave enough to take this leap with me.

The response came immediately: Thank you for letting me. Sweet dreams, beautiful.

Delores smiled as she set the phone aside and settled into sleep. Tomorrow would bring new challenges, new complications, new opportunities for Craig's legal team to use her authentic life against her. But tonight, she would rest in the knowledge that she was no longer alone, that she had found someone who understood her journey, that she was finally ready to fight for love as well as inheritance.

Their romance had begun. The relationship that would change everything, that would give her something worth fighting for beyond money and family recognition, that would prove that authentic love was possible even in the midst of legal warfare.

Serina was more than a romantic interest. She was proof that chosen family was real, that love could flourish even under hostile conditions, that THE ONE's love was big enough to include all of them.

And Delores was ready to fight for all of it.