Goddess Frigga's Revenge

Hi, my name is Amber Ambrose. If you read “Nordic Goddess Frigga” you would know that I was the son of Gene, a white supremacist cult leader. You would also know that at the age of 71, Frigga heard my statement that, if I were young again, I would go through transition to be a woman. She made me a beautiful 21-year-old blonde with blue eyes. But there was a twist. She placed me in the body of a black ops paramilitary assassin. It was everything that I could do to keep from killing people. Frigga was not happy with me when I settled into a comfortable life as a martial arts instructor. Unknown to me she thought up a nasty form of revenge that would be horribly difficult for me to live with. She came to visit me one night.

It was about 10 o’clock in the evening. I was relaxing in my rocker with a mug of chai latte. I only had one lamp on for reading my book, “The Hobbit”, when in a dark corner Frigga materialized. She was nude, as before, but, instead of a smile, she had a serious look on her face. I put my mug and book down on the lampstand and stood up to face her. She said, “You have failed me. I made you to be an assassin and you pushed down the urges to kill. I will not be mocked. I will give you the shape you deserve.” Suddenly my body began to swell. Thankfully I was barefoot. I was expanding like a balloon. I cried out in alarm as my body became so heavy that I could hardly stand. My clothes were in shreds. Frigga laughed and vanished.

I stood there in shock. My body was so huge that I couldn’t see my feet. My hands and arms were really big. I brought my hands up to my face. It was bloated and I had a large double chin. I began to cry and then sob. What was I going to do? I couldn’t teach martial arts like this. How was I going to go out and buy new clothes to fit myself? I squeezed into the half bath, turned the light on, and stared at myself. I thought about weighing myself, but I wouldn’t be able to see my weight. Then I thought of using a hand mirror. The scale maxed out at 400 pounds. I was in a huge mess. I went to bed and covered my naked body with a blanket. I cried myself to sleep. In the morning, I woke up very depressed and was in despair. What could I do?

After getting some coffee and thinking about my situation, I called a plus-size store. I told the lady on the phone of my dilemma. “I am a young woman weighing about 400 pounds and someone stole all my clothes while I was in the shower as a nasty prank. Can you come to my house with bras, panties, dresses, and shoes?” She said, “Yes, for an extra fee of $100, I can make a house call, but we don’t sell shoes. What bra size do you wear?” I took a guess and said, “I use either a K or L size cup.” She said, “I can be at your home in about two hours. Where do you live?” I gave her the address. I sat down and cried again. “What am I going to do about all my students? All their phone numbers are at the gym!” I broke down in tears once more.

My phone began to ring time and again as students or their parents called to see where I was. Why wasn’t I at the gym? Time and again I explained that I was sick with Covid and would not be able to teach for a week. Most were kind and understanding and a few were not. The problem was that the phone calls would keep coming all week long. But I was determined to keep as many of my clients as possible, though I had no idea what I would do after the week was up. But then an idea started to form in my mind, and I toyed with it for a while, in between phone calls that is. There was just a glimmer of hope in my thoughts, but I would need to get on the Internet and do some research. It seemed a bit far-fetched, but I was desperate.

I wrapped myself up in a couple of blankets and waited for the woman from the plus-size store. I had failed to ask her name. Two-and-a-quarter hours after I had called the store the doorbell rang. I looked out the peephole and saw a middle-aged woman standing there with a couple boxes on the sidewalk. I opened the door and asked her to come in. “Hi, my name is Amber.” She said, “My name is Maggie.” She brought the boxes in and then said, “Well, Amber, take off those blankets and let me measure you.” I stood naked before her. She measured me. My figure was 70-60-70. I would need a size 5XL dress. My bra size was a 46L. Maggie had a few bras, panties, and dresses that would fit. I would have to go to the shoe store barefoot. Oh well.

With my 5’-4” height and my figure, well, I checked online, and the AI said that I could comfortably fit in most cars. It said that the ingress and egress would be a bit challenging. So, I got up the nerve to go outside to my SUV and hoped like crazy that none of the neighbors would see me and ask awkward questions. I had some difficulty getting into the car and I hoped I would be able to get back out. Suddenly, my next-door neighbor, John, walked out and came up to my car window. I rolled it down. “Hey, what are you doin’? This is Amber’s SUV.” I said, hoping that my voice changed some with the extra weight, “I’m a friend of Amber, from out of town.” He said, “Is that so?” I said, “Yep,” and rolled the window back up. I was really scared.

I left him standing in the driveway and saw him shake his head. Thankfully he didn’t go to my front door to talk to me, but sure as anything he would talk to Amber the first time he saw her. I would need to have an answer for him that made sense, if ever I could get myself returned to the Amber that he knew. I drove to the shoe store. I sure didn’t like the looks that people gave me. Now I had empathy for obese people. I found a clerk named Cliff and asked him if he would measure my feet, because it had been a while since I had bought shoes. He led me to a short bench, didn’t comment on my bare footedness, and proceeded to measure my feet. Both were the same. I needed a 7W. There were only a few choices … brown flats it was.

I got back to my home with no incident and was greatly relieved when I shut the front door behind me. Now, I would carry out my research on the web. I was looking for information on the Norse gods and goddesses. What I found initially was disheartening. In Norse mythology, only Odin, the All-Father, could overrule Frigg, his wife and the queen of the Æsir gods. But the goddess Frigga was unable to prevent the death of her son, Baldr, because of a single, fateful oversight exploited by the trickster god Loki. Hel, the goddess of the underworld, prevented Frigga from getting her son back from the dead. Also, Freyja is a prominent goddess of love, war, and magic with a strong warrior aspect. She might be as strong or stronger than Frigg/Frigga.

Could I call upon all three, Loki, Hel, and Freyja, to help me get back the original body of Amber? Could they block Frigga? Would Odin overrule the three? I had to give it a try. The worst that could happen was that I would remain as I was, or could there be something worse? That question gave me reason to pause, but I thought, “What the hell?” But how could I summon them to my aid? I would offer cinnamon, sweets, and alcohol to Loki, blood, dried flowers, and rotting food to Hel, and honey, wine, apples, and pork to Freyja. I needed to make a trip to the grocery store. I would get bananas, avocados, and raw fish to rot under a heat lamp. So, I made one more foray out in public. Thankfully, all I got were those nasty stares.

By the following night, Wednesday, I had everything prepared. The rotting fish made an awful stink. I had arranged the bowls, plates, and a vase of dried flowers into three groupings in my living room. The blood was my own blood, taken from a cut in my left thumb, about three tablespoons into a small Chinese teacup. A white bandage wrapped my thumb. I arranged the three groupings such that I was facing east, toward Norway, land of my forefathers. I cleared space along the east wall for the three deities. Loki was the god of mischief, trickery, and deception, known for his shape-shifting abilities and cunning. Hel was the goddess of the underworld. Freyja was the goddess of love, beauty, fertility, war, magic and death.

I was really nervous. I was sweating and my heart was beating fast. I got down on my knees and began to chant their names. This went on for several minutes and nothing happened, and so I chanted their names again. This time I added words in Norwegian: “Kom til meg, mine forfedres guder. Jeg ber dere, kom til meg så snart som mulig.” Which translated says, “Come to me, gods of my forefathers. I beseech you, please come to me with all haste.” Suddenly, three human-sized forms appeared along the east wall, they were all in regal attire and were smiling. But I was at a loss; all three were women. Suddenly, the one on the right morphed into a berserker Viking. He laughed a hearty laugh and said, “I sure had you fooled.” “Loki, right?”

“Yes, I am Loki, the god of disruption and deceit. I have come in answer to your call and will do all I can to help you in your distress.” The woman in the middle said, “I am Hel, the goddess of Helheim. I also will do what I can to assist you.” Then the woman on the left said, “I am Freyja, the goddess of love and war, beauty and death, fertility and magic. I will as well help you in any way that I can. Why have you called us three?” I said, “I was changed by Frigga from an old man into a young woman.” I picked up a framed photo of myself and took it to them. “You see that I was a beautiful young maiden, but I angered Frigga, and she did this. I’d like to return to my former self.” All three looked at me and shook their heads. “Only Frigga can undo this.”

I bowed my head and sobbed. Loki came up to me, put his hand under my chin and lifted my head, so that I looked him in the eye. “Dry your tears my sweet. There is a way. Freyja will go to meet with Frigga and will tell her that if she returns you to your former state, she will talk to Hel and ask her to bring Baldr back to life. If Frigga agrees, I will assume the form of her son, in appearance, voice, mannerisms, and more. I have always wanted to be able to eavesdrop at the court of Odin and Frigga. I daresay that I can remain there until the day that you die, and then I will reveal myself and laugh in their faces.” I managed to smile and said, “You would really do that for me? You’ve only known me for a few minutes.” All three nodded. “Yes.”

“You have given me hope. Thank you so much. But there is one thing that is bothering me. What will Frigga think when you appear willing to restore her son, Baldr, for such an insignificant person as myself? Won’t she be really suspicious? What could I possibly say to allay her suspicions?” Freyja spoke, “Dear Amber, you are so beautiful inside. We will tell her that you are a significant person in the future of this planet, and that would be true. Her vengeance and wrath toward you is unwarranted. We can well imagine that she did something nasty when she transformed you from a man into a woman. Do not be afraid of her. You will know how to answer her. Goodbye now.” The contents of all the vessels vanished in flame. They were gone.

It was Thursday evening, while I was turning down the covers to go to sleep, that Frigga appeared in the dark corner of my bedroom. I turned to look her straight in the eyes. “You cheap slut, you worthless human being, what did you do to get them to agree to restoring my son to life?” I said, “Oh Frigga, you are worthy of honor and respect. Loki, Hel, and Freyja came in answer to my call for help, but they respect you enough to restore your son and they think I have some significant role to play in this world.” She said, “I think your full of shit, but I want my son back, so here is your former self.” I could feel myself shrinking.” She vanished.

After a minute or so, I removed the clothing and examined my body. It was back to normal and as far as I could tell there was no lingering vestige of the curse that Frigga had placed on me. I got dressed in my sheer nightgown and then gathered up all the plus-size clothing and disposed of them in the trash bin. As I laid my head down to sleep, I thought about returning to the gym in the morning. Everything was going to be alright. I thought about the huge mess that I had been in just a short while ago. I thanked the gods that I had contacted them, and they had found a way to restore me to my former self. I thought, “I need to keep a change of clothes as a memento.” I got up and retrieved them from the trash. Then I slept peacefully.

The next morning, I had a cup of coffee and a bagel with raspberry cream cheese. I was so thankful that I could fit in my clothes. I then walked out to my SUV. Before I could climb in, John came out to see me. “You know, I was puzzled by meeting your friend yesterday.” I said, “Why is that, John.” He replied, “Well, she sure sounded a lot like you, but that couldn’t possibly have been you.” I laughed and said, “John, why would you even think such a thought? Sue is a friend from Seattle. We’ve known each other since we were kids.” John said, “Yeah, that’s great. It’s just sad that she’s so overweight.” I shook my head and said, “Some people can’t help it. Sue has Cushing Syndrome. There are several diseases like that.” He said, “Okay, sure.”

As I backed out of the driveway, I saw John shaking his head again. Maybe he didn’t believe me, but there was nothing that I could do about that. I laughed and thought, “Surely, he doesn’t believe that that was me.” I could hardly believe that had been me, but then I thought of how uncomfortable I had been. I remembered how much those breasts had weighed in my hands. No, I would never forget how difficult it had been to walk, sit, stand, lie down, and bend over. I arrived at the gym and unlocked the doors. I made myself another cup of coffee and watched the kids, teenagers, adults, and parents walk in. My students began to warm up, and I got myself in the frame of mind to teach. I did some stretches myself. It was so good to be back.