“If I decide that it might be more convenient all round Sally, and it’s still a big if, do you think that I could be made to look realistic and presentable as a woman?” I finally conceded after thinking about what was happening to me.

“I’ll be honest with you. As well as your short slim physique and the breasts, you are not nearly as muscular as you were, your waist and bum are becoming much more femininely shaped, and your skin is much softer than it used to be, the hormones have definitely get a huge grip on you. Even without the clothes and a more feminine hairstyle you are already looking more like a woman than a man. If we can get something done with your hair, and apply a bit of makeup, you will look no different to any other woman, and will easily pass as one. You are not on your own with this, I will help you transform yourself as much as I can, and Harry told you that if you want to appear at work as a female that will not present a problem, why not give it a try?’

“I suppose that you are right Sally, now that I have accepted what is happening to me, we need to make this work properly, let’s give it a go, where do we start?”

“I’ll phone my hairdresser to see if she can give you extensions, restyle your hair, and give you a makeover. Before that you need to get rid of what little body hair that you still have, although the hormones have done most of the work to achieve that already. Go and shave where you can reach, I’ll finish off any bits that you miss. While you are doing that I’m just going out for a few minutes.”

After the shave and shower I was just drying myself off when Sally returned. She liberally applied scented moisturiser all over my body, but stopped when she got to my groin.

“Jay, this is embarrassing, have you always been this small down there or is this more of the hormones effects.” Causing me to burst into tears.

“I’ve noticed it getting smaller every day and my balls have disappeared, I get the feeling that it won’t be long it will be before I have no choice about whether or not I appear as a woman”.

“Look on the bright side, at least the new panties I’ve just bought for you will fit you better now.” she giggled but I found it hard to join in with the fun and treat it as a joke.

“While I was out, as well as the panties I bought you another skirt a couple of tops and some makeup. Now that you’ve decided that looking like a woman is the best option you will need a new wardrobe. I’ve left a skirt and top on your bed, go and get dressed, the sooner that you start to accept that everyone will now see you as woman, the better it will be.”

I was soon dressed in what she had selected for me, a light cotton mid-length floral skirt and cornflower satin sleeveless scoop neck top with broderie anglaise trimming, and feeling embarrassed at how feminine the outfit was, I went out to let her see how it looked on me.

“Oh that fits you like a glove, and with that low top showing your cleavage there is no chance of anyone mistaking you for a man in a skirt.”

“Why am I dressed in such a feminine outfit when you are sitting there in leggings and a chunky wool jumper.”

“Look Molly, and that is what I will call you now, unless you prefer another girl’s name, I am totally confident in my femininity and don’t need to stress it and always make an effort, whereas you need to get yourself into that frame of mind, and there is no better way to remind you than
wearing more girly outfits. Now sit down and relax and get used to how the clothes feel.

You have an appointment at the salon in the morning to get a makeover and your hair restyled. I’ve told my friend Jessica about you and she is very sympathetic to your problem and has promised to treat you like any other of her female clients.”

“You’re rushing me Sally, I thought that this would be a lot more gradual.”

“You are restarting work on Monday, and if you are going present yourself as Molly, you have a lot of adjusting to do. You haven’t got time for gentle little baby-steps, you need to jump in at the deep end, it’s a case of sink or swim.”

“I just hope that I don’t sink under the pressure. I’ve been thinking and I would prefer it if you called me Claire, it was my mum’s name, I’ve always liked it, No doubt that the guys at the station will always call me Molly, but if you use the name Claire it will keep reminding me of who I now am.”

For the rest of the evening she shaped and painted my nails, showed me how to apply a subtle daytime makeup, making me repeat it several times until she was happy that I would be able to make myself presentable for my trip to the salon, as she would have to go to work early in the morning, I was dreading getting myself dressed and made up without her supervision, then having to make my way alone to the salon. She soon left, with a cheery “Don’t worry about tomorrow, Jessica will treat you well and believe me, if you look in the morning like you do now, you can comfortably walk to the salon without anyone doubting who you are.”

I was up early, with butterflies in my stomach, to get myself ready, skipping breakfast other than a coffee, warily checked that none of my neighbours were about, and set off for the salon. Once I was away from the house I relaxed a little, particularly after getting a friendly “Good morning, lovely day isn’t it dear.” from a middle-aged woman giving her terrier its morning walk, and by the time I arrived I was reasonably comfortable in how I looked, took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Good morning, I’m Jessica, have you an appointment?’

“Yes I’m Claire Murray, my friend Sally Cartwright spoke to you yesterday, but she probably used my work nickname of Molly.”

Jessica took a sharp intake of breath and quickly scanned me from head to toe pausing only for a second on my visible cleavage.

“OMG, Claire, you are not what I was expecting, I didn’t realise that the overdose of hormones had such a drastic effect. When Sally told me about you, I was anticipating a long hard job transforming someone butch into a presentable replica of a woman, but working on you will be no different to all my other clients. Sorry, I’m rambling and must be embarrassing you. Come in take off your coat and I’ll get you a smock to put on, and do you prefer tea or coffee?”

“Coffee will be fine. It’s my first time in a ladies’ salon, so please explain anything you want me to do in plain English, I have no idea of most of the normal beauty language. Sally said something about hair extensions, I don’t want it too long, I need to be able to easily manage it,”

“Right, I’ll just add short extensions to create a bob, down to collar and chin level, tidy it all up , give it a light tint so that the extensions blend in with your natural hair, then put it in rollers to style it for you, While your hair is drying, we’ll see what I can do with your face, does that sound ok.

“You’re the expert, do whatever you think is best.”

An hour later I was lying in a recliner chair dozing, my hair in rollers and with an exfoliating and moisturising mask on my face when I was woken from my stupor by Jessica.

“Come on Claire, let’s get your face cleaned up and I’ll trim your eyebrows and take you through a new makeup look. What you did yourself this morning was fine, but you deserve better than that.”

Soon she was satisfied with the makeup, I looked in the full-length mirror and almost fainted, I didn’t believe that the reflection I was looking at was me, I wasn’t just passable as a woman, I was actually attractive. My emotions were a mixture of disbelief, happiness that I could at least be comfortable until my medical situation was resolved, worry that I was past the point of no return and that my life as a man would soon be over, and started to weep.

“That’s enough of that , you don’t want to ruin all my good work on your face do you? Go out and face the world, you look as good as, if not better than, most of the other women that come in here.”

“That’s wonderful Jessica, what do I owe you?”

“It’s on the house dear, you are a hero for what you did and how you are facing up to the effects of the chemical spill, you deserve a bit of pampering. I hope to see you again soon, and if you have any problems give me another visit.”

I needed a bit of time to take it all in and clear my mind, so stopped a few doors along, sat at a pavement table at a cafe, and ordered a tea and piece of cake.

“Hello there again, do you mind if I join you. I’m Sophie, we said hello this morning when I was walking the dog. I wasn’t sure if it was you or not, as you have obviously been to the salon, but I recognised your outfit. It’s a nice change to see another woman wearing a skirt, everybody seems to prefer trousers nowadays, especially the young girls” I looked up and saw the woman with the terrier that I had said hello to earlier.

“‘By all means, please sit down. I’m Claire by the way, and what do you call your dog.”

“He’s called Little Mac after my husband Andy’s nickname at work.”

“What does your husband do?”

“He’s a firefighter at the local station.” I was taken aback by the coincidence of meeting, of all people, the wife of one of my colleagues, and started to weep. The hormones were not just affecting my looks, they seemed to be affecting my emotions too, that was twice this morning that I had been teary.

“Are you all right Claire, have I said the wrong thing and reminded you of something you would rather forget? Do you want to talk about it?”

“It’s not you Sophie, it’s me, I have a lot going in my life at the moment and sometimes it gets on top of me. Actually I would like to talk, but not here, come with me to my house and we’ll have a chat.”

Sophie started following me the short distance home, generally passing the time of day on the way, but as we passed her house she invited me in. “We’ll be better off here, I can let Little Mac out into the garden to give us a bit of peace and quiet, while you tell me what is distressing you.”

“Did your husband tell you anything about a major incident at the pharmaceutical factory a while ago?’

“Not really, not at the time anyway, he reckons the less I know about the dangers he faces, the easier I will sleep at nights. However yesterday he told me that one of his colleagues was exposed to an immense dose of female hormones at that incident and the poor man seems to be gradually turning into a woman.” which caused me to burst into tears again.

“I’m sorry Sophie, but I need to tell someone. That colleague of Mac is me, he has probably called me Molly when he told you about me, as everyone at the station does.”

“Never I find that difficult to believe, he has told me all about you. Oh, you poor thing, it must all be so difficult for you. If it is any consolation Andy said that the all guys at the station are full of sympathy and admiration for you and are looking forward to you turning up for duty next week”

“I feel so confused, I’m not like this by choice, I am worried as to how they will react when they see me. Today is the first day that I have really been out in public like this and the trip to the salon was supposed to make it easier for me to appear just like any other woman.”

“Well it certainly does that Claire, I would never have guessed. I have a suggestion, let’s go for a walk, come back and have some tea, then stay until Andy gets home from work and see how he reacts.The way he has talked about you yesterday, I’m sure that there won’t be any problems.”

When Andy returned later, Sophie introduced me as Claire, an old friend that she had bumped into today, and he just accepted me for what I appeared to be, went off to get changed and left us giggling at the situation and his lack of recognition, before returning a few minutes later.

“Andy, remember you told me about your colleague that was affected by the chemical spill, well this is her, him, whatever.”

“Never, I don’t believe you, stop winding up.” he spluttered taking in my hairstyle, makeup, clothes and above all else my pert breasts, not really believing what he was seeing.

“Sophie is telling the truth Mac, it is really me, Jay, Molly, Claire, whichever you prefer, this is what that hormone spill has done to me. This, or something a little less fancy, is how I’ll be turning up for work on Monday.

“Wow, it’s just as well that you are in the female locker room with Annie, I don’t think the guys would be able to cope with you in with us. Anyway, if it is ok with Sophie, why not stay for dinner with us and we can have a longer talk.”

“Actually I am expecting Sally to call round tonight, I need to be getting home to get something prepared.”

“Ask her round here too, but with you looking like that, tell her to get dressed up too, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her in a dress or skirt, she usually tries to blend in with the guys at the station.”

I gave Sally a call and told her what had happened and she soon arrived, dressed to kill in a low-cut, figure-hugging above-the-knee dress, with her hair loose and properly styled instead of just in a ponytail, and with immaculate makeup, she was looking gorgeous. The pair of us stared at each other with disbelief.

After he got over the initial shock of seeing the new me and the different Sally, Andy relaxed and enjoyed the company of the three of us woman, as he now considered me to be too. He promised that he would not tell the guys at the station how I had turned out, so that they could get as big a shock as he had.

“Sophie, can you do me a favour, Claire needs something plain and not overly feminine to wear to the station on Monday, Jeans or leggings and plain tops, can you take her shopping tomorrow to see if you can find something suitable? “ Sally asked “If she turns up at the station looking like she does tonight, the guys will freak out.” Calling me ‘she’ and ‘her’ didn’t sink in at first but when I realised what she had said, I just accepted that is how people would treat me now and I would have to get used to it.

Sally drove me home and I invited her in for a glass of wine to tell her about my day at the salon and how I had met Sophie.

“Jessica did an amazing job on you, you look gorgeous. I never told you before as It always embarrasses me and I don’t want to give the guys at work another opportunity to make fun of me, but I am bi, I’ve had good times with both men and women. Having seen you naked earlier, I realise that hetero sex is probably out of the question, but do you fancy an introduction to Sapphic enjoyment, seeing you looking like that has got my juices flowing and I’m feeling a bit horny.”

Sally stayed the night and we enjoyed a lot of new experiences for both of us until she had to drag herself away in the morning to go to get ready for work. “Enjoy yourself shopping with Sophie, she seemed to easily accept you as female, just follow her lead and listen to what she suggests. I’ll see you later girlfriend.”

In the morning I was surprised at how easily my hairstyle fell into place, Jessica told me that she had used a soft perm so that it would be easier for me to keep tidy. It didn’t take long to redo my makeup and I was soon dressed in a cotton top and denim mid-thigh skirt confidently walking round to Sophie’s. She and I had an enjoyable girls’ shopping trip with her telling me what suited me and sat well on me. She even talked me into buying a fitted dress as well as the casual gear for work, joining me in the changing room while I changed and not even flinching when she saw me in just my bra and panties. Although she knew differently she just saw me and treated me as another one of her woman friends.

On the way back home we stopped off at a bistro for a quick drink to finish off the day, and were discussing what I had bought when we were interrupted by two young men approaching our table.

“Excuse me girls, I’m Callum, my friend Rory and I were wondering if you would like to join us for a drink.”

“Thank you Callum, but I am happily married.” Sophie replied with a smile flashing her wedding ring.

“And I don’t think my boyfriend would appreciate you giving us too much attention.” I quickly followed, getting a giggle from Sophie.

They took the hint and went over to try their luck with a couple of young women sitting at the bar.

“That’s another lesson you’ve learned, the gentle put down. Take it as a compliment that they thought you attractive enough to give it a try. Honestly, the way you look, the way you behaved at dinner last night and your reaction to what we were looking at in the shops, it’s hard to believe that you are new to being a woman, you look as comfortable as if you have been female all your life.”

“Be assured this is all completely new to me, it’s just that I am accepting where I am at now, and unless the doctors come up with a miracle this is how I will stay. It makes it easier that Sally and you are accepting me as I am. To be honest I’ve never had close friends that I could have this sort of conversation with, but with you and Sally it just seems easier to talk about how I feel. Men are much more guarded and are not as open with their feelings and emotions as women are, they are their own worst enemies sometimes, I think that when I go back to work the guys will feel uncomfortable around me, despite how Andy so easily accepted me last night.”

“Claire, you probably didn’t realise, but you just said ‘they’ and ‘their’ when referring to men, not ‘we’ and ‘our’, are you starting to think of yourself as a woman now rather than as a man?”

“To be honest I don’t know what I am, I am so confused, but, no matter what I feel or what I would prefer, I don’t seem to have much choice in the matter, the hormones seem to have control of my body and emotions.”

Back at Sophie’s I felt it was the right thing to do to give her a goodbye hug. “Thanks so much for today Sophie, you really made it all a lot easier for me. Give me a few days to get the house clean and tidy, unfortunately that part of me is still in man-mode, then you and Andy must come round for a meal with Sally and me.”

I look forward to it, sometimes it is a bit lonely around here, Andy works long hours, as you know, and I have never got involved with the neighbours that much, book clubs, going round for tea and things like that. It’s nice to have a friend to share some girl-time with, and if you ever feel like a chat just give me a call.”

The next few days , as promised to Sophie, I tidied up the house, gave everything a good dust and clean, washed the towels bedding and loose covers, washed down the paintwork and emptied the laundry basket into the washing machine. I was quite proud of what I had done, the house had been a bit neglected since I had joined the Fire Service. The rest of the week and over the weekend, Sally and I spent the nights together, either at my place or hers, usually just sleeping cuddled together but enjoying the joy of sex when we both had the energy.

Monday morning was the moment to put my head into the lions den, and I dressed casually in slim-fit trousers and a sports shirt which made a change from the skirts I had been wearing as much as possible. With my hair pulled up into a high bunch, my face dressed with a tinted moisturiser, a touch of mascara and a pale almost transparent lipstick, I tremulously walked into the station with Sally hoping to be as inconspicuous as possible. However it wasn’t to be that easy, there was a large banner ‘Welcome back Molly’ in the entrance and the whole watch were there to greet me. At first there were whoops and cheers, but as the guys took in my appearance their was a momentary stunned silence before the noise started up again, and they all came over to shake my hand or even give me a hug.

“Right that’s enough guys, go back to the restroom and settle down. Now that’s all over girls. go and get changed, we are on call.” Harry brought the watch back to order.

Other than the occasional look of incredulity from the guys the day passed normally, with a couple of minor call-outs, nothing too challenging.

“Well done Molly, you settled back in well, the guys behaved themselves a lot better than I expected. Soon as Molly you will be just another member of the watch, and except for being seen as one of the girls, you will be treated just like everybody else on the team.

Some good news for you. We have put your name forward for the King’s Fire Service Medal for your selfless rescue of Jack Coulson, at his request I might add, and County Headquarters have already granted you a Chief’s Commendation and nominated you for a British Empire Medal. congratulations Molly, that is a brilliant start to your career and is not far behind what your Dad achieved in all his years of service. If either of those medals goes through you will need to get yourself a new dress uniform more appropriate to how you now look.

Things soon settled into a routine at work, Sally and I were involved with incidents no differently to the men.

Things moved a lot more quickly off duty, between Sally and Sophie I was absorbed more and more into the sphere of womanhood, even to the extent of packing all my male clothes and any ‘boy’s toys’ away into storage, my whole life now had become one of femininity. Without naming me, the story of my rescue of Jack Coulson and the after-effects for me were disclosed in the local newspaper, and apart from a few bigoted crackpots there was an extremely supportive and understanding response from the general public. However to save any confusion and controversy with neighbours who previously knew me as Jay. I moved in with Sally and gave up the lease on my house.

I was continuing to develop more feminine characteristics, my breasts seemed to have stopped growing at a C cup but my penis had shrunk even further and was not worthy of being called as such. I had almost given up hope of any change in the situation when I was called in to see the brigade’s doctor again. Not worried about any reaction I might get from him, I had an appointment with Jessica for another makeover, dressed in a smart skirt suit and made my way to County Headquarters.

“Good afternoon Jay, thank you for coming in.”

“I prefer to be called Claire at the moment until you can sort out my situation.”

“Actually that, and the way you are dressed, makes this conversation easier than I thought it would be. I have had several conversations with a specialist endocrinologist who has been looking into your case. Basically it is suggested that there are three options and they all have benefits and potential hazards..

At the moment the oestrogen dose you ingested is, to put it in layman terms, having a battle with your natural testosterone, and the oestrogen seems to be winning the battle. It isn’t helped by the fact that your natural testosterone level is, and has always been very low, which shows up in the record of the tests you were given before you joined the Fire Service. That along with your DNA build up has meant that you have never grown as big, muscular or strong as most of your male contemporaries. As I have said, we see three options to try to overcome the situation.

You could be given a huge dose of testosterone which will compete with the oestrogen in controlling and determining your body characteristics. However the oestrogen has infiltrated your body all the way down to cellular level, and quite frankly the experts do not know what the result will be. Extreme high and low levels of both hormones carry potential effects of damage to bodily organs and functions.

The easiest option from a medical point of view is to leave things as they are and see what happens. I know that doesn’t sound very professional, but to be honest we are in uncharted territory here.

The third option is for you to accept that your body is on the path to femininity and we keep you topped up with female hormones to maintain you at the correct level and carry out gender reassignment surgery so that you are fully functional as a female, except obviously with the exception of reproductive capability, and that carries its own risks.”

“None of those sounds particularly appealing, can you not be a bit more positive?”

“Frankly no we can’t, as I said, we are in uncharted territory here. You need to think about the options. It’s totally up to you, but I suggest that the wisest option with the least risk is to let nature take its course and see where it leads you, at least for the immediate future. Just for our records to help us understand your problem a bit better, I would like to give you another examination and do more tests, is that ok?”

“Do your worst Dr Dalgliesh, the more you know, the sooner we can get this sorted out, one way or another.”

“That’s all that completed, please get dressed again…Claire. As I said last time, other than the continuing feminisation you are perfectly fit and there is no reason for you not to continue your duties. As you are no doubt aware, and are probably happy to know, your breast growth seems to have stopped, but that is mainly genetic, transgender women rarely get to be a bigger size than their mothers and are usually one cup size down. Your waist has lost all its fat and any further reduction is unlikely as it is limited by your bone structure, however there is still a growth of fat deposits in your buttocks and upper thighs giving more prominent feminine hips. From the way you look and act, you seem to have socially adapted to living as a woman, and as I said before my recommendation would be to do nothing at the present, Call me if you want to go for either of the other options.”

Later Sophie came round for a coffee and chat and I told her what Dr Dalgliesh had said.

“You sound disappointed and that you were hoping that this could all stop and you could go back to your former self, However as I understand it you have to accept that is not going to happen, at least not anytime soon, and get on with living your life as Claire. “

“It’s easy for you to say that, you have never known anything different, my body might be female but my mind and memories are still male.”

“Ok, but you really do look and behave like a woman now, you even talked about men the other day as if you were not one yourself. The guys at work accept you as you are, Sally seems to like you as you are. I think the doctor is right, just bide your time and see where your body takes you, you don’t need to make any quick decisions which could have bad outcomes. Just let Sally and me help you to adjust, I’m sure that you can learn to think of yourself as the woman you appear to be.”

“You’re probably right, I have to start looking forward rather than back and just get on with my life. Thank you Sophie, you are a good friend.”

Over the next few months very little changed, the battle between the hormones in my body seemed to have gone into a ceasefire, with the oestrogen having gained the upper hand. The guys at work had accepted that Sally and I were now a couple, buddies in life as well as on duty.

Butch was back at work, but not on active duties, he was told that he would not recover his full previous fitness and was replaced on the watch by Naomi, a happy pleasant girl of Caribbean heritage, Between Sally, now seen as a lesbian, me, now seen as a transgender woman, and Naomi, as our ethnic minority crew-mate, there was now no need for Sally to think of herself as the token minority representative to meet diversity targets. That gave Harry the problem of who to buddy Naomi with.

Meantime I was been proud to have been invited to the Palace to be honoured with the BEM by the Prince of Wales, all kitted out in my new dress uniform accompanied by Sally in a fancy cocktail frock. The previous week up at County Headquarters I had been presented with my Chief’s Commendation and King’s Fire Service Medal, after which I was taken aside by the Chief Fire Officer.

“Jay, you have impressed my management team and although you haven’t registered for it, with your degree qualification, your bravery awards, and the leadership qualities you have shown in your day-to-day duties, you are being listed on the rapid career development programme. With immediate effect you are being promoted to crew manager and it should not be too long before you are given your own watch. However this will mean a transfer to another station, to assist you in adjusting to your new role, are you happy to do that?”

“Thank you Sir, I’m looking forward to the new challenges. Although I accept that a transfer will enable me to progress, I would like it to be relatively local.. I am still adjusting to my new life and have a support network of friends who are helping me, I do not want to move away from them. Although I know that my situation is common knowledge and that the gossip network in the service soon passes on any information, I would like my records changed to officially list me as Claire, which was my mother’s name, and wish to be introduced as such to my new colleagues, although to the guys back at the station I will aways be known as Molly. The sooner that I am accepted as such, as much any other woman is accepted in the service, the easier is will be for me to forget my past and look to the future.”

“Fair enough Claire, the guys in the stations may still be ‘boys’ clubs’ and be a bit patronising towards their female colleagues, but we are trying to change that. The more qualified and talented women like yourself that are in positions of responsibility, the sooner the guys will accept you all as just another one of their colleagues. I might add that a lot of the senior staff will be watching your progress, we expect that in the future you will be knocking on the glass ceiling to take over a senior role yourself.”

After a few months as crew manager, as I gradually adjusted more and more to becoming Claire, I was transferred to another station as Watch Manager, after being given a big send-off by the boys on the team. Sally was given a new watch partner, Naomi, but we stayed together as life partners.

It was soon obvious that the oestrogen had won the battle of the hormones, my testes had disappeared and my penis almost non-existent, and following medical advice I underwent the surgery to confirm my future as the woman that I had already mentally become.

Over the next fifteen years I was fast-tracked up the promotion ladder serving time as Watch Manager, Station Manager, Group Manager and finally Area Manager responsible for all the stations in the North of the county, the second highest rank in the service, held for the first time by a woman. Sally had followed me up the promotion ladder and was now successfully running her own teams as Station Manager.

I was leaving a management meeting a few years later, but was asked to remain by the Chief Fire Officer.after the others had all left.

“Claire, as you well know I am 55 next month, and it’s time for me to be put out to pasture and retire, although I still feel that I have a lot to offer. I recommended you as my replacement, which was finally accepted by the appointments committee despite some of the traditionalists suggesting that it was premature to put a woman into the role. Your official notice of appointment will follow an in depth scrutiny of your background and capabilities, but that is a formality, you have already been vetted before your current appointment. You should proud of your achievements, you will be the first female in the role in this area and only the second in the country, but you are more than capable of taking it on. Congratulations, we are all proud of you, and I’m sure that you will make a success of the new role, but if ever you need a second opinion please feel free to get in touch with me.”

My life hadn’t worked out as planned, but a freak event had given me a successful career that I doubt I would otherwise have achieved.

The end

I arrived at the fire station bright and early to start my first tour of duty since completing my training. I had always wanted to follow in my father’s footsteps as a firefighter for as long as I could remember., putting it aside as I went to university to get my degree in English and History. Unfortunately Dad had recently passed away, but I know that he would have been proud to see me following in his footsteps.

I had my doubts as to whether I would be accepted for training as I did not fit the image of the big muscular rugged looking guy that people imagine a firefighter to be, in fact I was exactly the opposite, small (5’6”), slim and wiry (130 lbs) and had never been particularly athletic looking. When I turned up for the assessment session, I couldn’t mistake the look the instructors gave me as if to say “I wonder how long he will last before we ditch him as unsuitable.”

I was surprised that there was no minimum size, as long as you passed all the physical tests, which are to the same standard no matter what your physique you were considered fit to serve. I soon proved them wrong passing all the physical tests, outdoing many of the other applicants who fitted the macho image a lot more closely than I did, before going through the 12 week safety and operation training course, which I passed with flying colours.

I was greeted as I entered the station with a voice from the past, Jack Coulson, a classmate from my school days who I had never been particular friendly with. “Hi Titch, I never expected to see you turn up here, you never seemed the type, you were always the little weedy wimp.”

“You know fine well that my name is Jay, and that I never liked being called Titch. Let’s keep it as Jay.”

We were interrupted by the Watch Manager Harry Sutcliffe. “That’s enough Butch, you can catch up later, please come with me Jay.”

“Welcome to the station, until we get to know you better and what your capabilities are you will be on support duties, going out with the watch but keeping away from hazardous situations, We work a buddy system where you are paired up with a partner and normally follow in their footsteps carrying out their duties with them, watching each others backs, We have recently lost one of our watch, Chloe Grover, so you will be paired with her buddy Sally Cartwright, who is known to the rest of the team as Annie. Let me introduce you to her and she can show you the ropes.”

“Pleased to meet you Sally, I’m Jay ,I look forward to working with you.”

“Call me Annie, everybody else in the station does.”

“Why, what’s wrong with Sally?”

“It’s a bit of the boys’-club humour, everyone has a nickname, you’ve already met Butch. He likes to think that he is the big macho alpha-male, but between you and me, I’ve heard from some of the girls that I know that he is anything but, in bed if you know what I mean. I once stupidly mentioned that I was raised for a lot of my early years in a children’s home before being adopted and the level of their humour is that I became Orphan Annie. I hate it but the more I moan about it, the more they joke about it. Right let’s get you kitted out with your station wear and turnout uniform.”

In the stores she looked through the racks of kit and turned me with a frown. “It looks like they only have kit in sizes that are far to big for you, we’ll have to order in some smaller kit for you, but you need something immediately in case we get called out to an incident. I have a suggestion but you probably will not like it. You are about the same size as Chloe, who you are replacing as my buddy, her kit is still in her locker. Come with me and try it on, it’s hardly any different to the men’s kit, just in smaller sizes.”

I followed her and suddenly realised that I was in the female changing room.

“Should I be in here, what if someone else comes in?”

“Don’t worry, I am the only woman at the station, the guys tell each other that Chloe and. I were only here as the token females so that the station meets diversity quotas. It gets on my nerves, but there is not a lot I can do about it. Try on the uniform and see what you think.”

“As you said, the trousers and shirt are really no different to what the men wear. OK the buttons are on the opposite sides, the trousers are a bit snug at the waist, the backside a bit roomy, and the zip a lot shorter, but other than that they are fine, and the turnout uniform is standard. They’ll all do for the time-being. Let’s go out and you can introduce me to the rest of the watch.”

As we left the changing room, we unfortunately bumped into ‘Butch’ lounging by the door to the main rest room.

“What have we here then Titch, using the girls’ room and I see you are wearing Chloe’s old uniform, it still has her name tag on. Maybe Titch is the wrong nickname for you, I reckon that it should be Molly, you know Orphan Annie’s best friend, that’s what we used to call her old buddy.”

“If we’re talking nicknames maybe Butch is not appropriate, from what I’ve heard of your reputation about town maybe ‘Little Willy’ is more appropriate.” I instantly replied which sent most of the rest of the guys into hysterics.

He went purple with rage and I was sure that he was going to attack me, but Harry Sutcliffe came over and grabbed his wrist. “That’s enough Coulson, I’ve told you before if you can’t take it don’t dish it out. Go and check the Tender to make sure that it is ready for a call-out and only come back when you have calmed down. If I hear any more nonsense between you and Murray, you will be suspended while I review whether you are fit to be on the watch.”

For the rest of the guys it seemed that I had passed some sort of initiation test and one-by-one they all came over to shake my hand and welcome me to the station.

We didn’t get a chance to talk much further as the call-out alarm went, we all grabbed our turnout gear and climbed into the tender to get kitted up for action as we were being driven to the incident, we now had other priorities rather than petty personal squabbles.

I soon found out that Sally and Chloe had been very much kept out of the main action. “Annie, Molly, you get the hoses connected to the nearest hydrants.” Watch Manager Sutcliffe barked out, going into action mode rather than the more casual atmosphere in the rest room. Luckily it was only a minor fire in a small industrial unit which was soon under control and we were soon back at the station.

“Apologies for calling you Molly out there Jay, it was just automatic with the adrenaline going, I’m so used to Sally and Chloe doing those duties. Harry said as we relaxed afterwards..

“No worries, you didn’t mean it nastily like Butch did, speed is of the essence when on a call and if it gets things done quicker, it doesn’t bother me, in fact I probably prefer it to being called Titch, if I have to have a nickname.

The next morning when I come on shift I was met by Annie. “Come with me.” She said dragging me into the female locker room. Overnight someone had changed the label on the locker to ‘Molly Murray.”

It looks like you’re here to stay buddy, as far as the guys are concerned you are now Molly, unless it upsets you just ignore it. I am comfortable with you being in here if you don’t mind, but it does mean that both of us are seen as the girls’ team in the crew and you will be treated as such.”

For the next few days there was an uneasy truce between Butch and me, barely speaking to each other, except when we were out on a call, when professionalism took over from personal concerns. The rest of the crew soon got used to me being around and except when I was with Sally, they just accepted me as one of the guys, but when Sally was around we were definitely treated as the girls’ team.

The following Monday as I went in to get changed into my station wear Sally handed me a parcel. “Your new kit has arrived, get yourself changed, I’ll pop out for a few minutes to give you a bit of privacy.”

I opened up the parcel but was dismayed to se that it was another female set of kit, someone had obviously seen my name and my sizes and assumed that I was female. However it was no different to the one I had inherited from Chloe, except that the trousers fitted a lot more snugly.

Sally giggled when she came back and saw me in my new kit. “It looks like you are now on record as female, get it changed if you want, but that outfit fits you well you may as well just keep it. Let’s check the order to see why it went wrong. According to the form the female kit was ordered, but I know that I definitely ticked the male box, somebody must have altered it. ”

”I wonder who that could be, but I’d put my bet on Butch. Never mind , if that’s the way he wants to play it, I’ll not give him the satisfaction of starting an argument, I’m just going out there as if nothing is wrong, and get my own back on him when I get the chance.”

“Hey, I like your new uniform Molly, it suits you, fits like it was made for you.” Butch smirked when we went into the rest room.” confirming to me that it was him that had altered the form, but nobody else made any comment.

Over the following weeks I settled in with the watch and Sally and I were soon treated out at incidents exactly the same as the rest of the team, carrying out the same duties and taking the same risks. Back at the station Butch continued to be a pain in the neck, making snide comments about the girls on the watch. The last straw was one day when at the end of shift, I went back to change into my own clothes and found that they had been changed in my locker to a skirt blouson and blouse, along with a matching bra and pantie set, tights, handbag and wedge heeled shoes. He had gone too far this time.

“This is getting ridiculous Sally, I suppose that I will have to go home in my station-wear, although we aren’t supposed to be out in public off-duty in uniform.”

“Call his bluff, put on the clothes he has left, I’ll do you a bit of makeup and do something with your hair.”

“But what will the lads think? It’s bad enough Butch treating me like a woman, the others know that he is being a pain, but if they see me dressed up, they are all going to think the same as him.”

“Don’t worry about them, I’ll let any that are still around know what’s happening, they’ll be alright and treat it as a bit of fun.”

A short while later, fully dressed and, with a bit of mascara and lipstick and with my hair brushed into as near a short feminine pixie cut as Sally could manage, I picked up the shoulder bag that I had filled with my wallet keys and things and we walked out together, with me never having felt more embarrassed.

“Hey, I see we have got the real you at last Molly.” Butch was the first to react, turning to the others expecting them to join in with his laughter, but he was met with a stony silence.

“‘You’re looking good Molly, take no notice of that idiot, Annie told us what Butch had done and you won’t get any comments from the rest of us.” Mac, one of the older crew members, immediately commented, brushing past Butch and pushing him out of the way. “You had better clear off Butch before we strip you naked and tie you to a lamppost where the world can see if Molly’s nickname for you, ‘Little Willy’ is appropriate.”

“Thanks for that Mac. I just got dressed like this to prove to Butch that I don’t care what he does to try to belittle me I am not going to let him drive me to the point of quitting. You’ll see me back in my own clothes tomorrow.”

“No worries Molly, but while you are all dressed up, why don’t you and Annie come for a drink with a few of us that are going to the pub for a quick one.” Dai offered. “Obviously the treat is on us, we have to look after our girl team don’t we?”

“Go and sit down girls we’ll get the drinks in, is it halves for you or would you prefer white wine spritzers?”

“The usual spritzer for me please.” Sally quickly replied. “I had better have the same Dai.” I followed her lead and she gave me a wink to show that it was the right choice.

We had a pleasant hour with the guys, chatting about the incidents we had attended earlier in the day, and no further mention was made of the way I looked.

As we left it was a case of “see you tomorrow girls” as Sally and I left to go to our cars.

“Why not come back with me for a coffee Jay, you can tell me what you thought about your first trip out dressed as a girl.”

‘Thanks Sally, but despite putting on a brave face I feel weird dressed in the skirt and blouse, and don’t want my neighbours to see me dressed like this when I get home. Have you at least got any trousers and a plain jumper that will fit me.”

“Sure, but I must say that once you faced the guys and relaxed over the drink in the pub that you just looked like another girl alongside me out with some of our guy work colleagues. Let me see what I can find for you.”

“There’s some jeans and a neutral top for you. I’ve put a few bits and pieces in your bag in case you decide to face up to the guys tomorrow as a girl again to show Butch that he hasn’t won. You’ll still need the bag to get home as your wallet keys and stuff won’t fit in the jeans pocket. Since Chloe left, I have felt a bit like a fish out of water with the guys in the watch, but at least with them all calling you Molly, although I know that you are Jay, I don’t feel so alone in there.”

I changed into the jeans and top, put the skirt blouse and bra into a carrier bag with the other clothes, picked up my shoulder bag and left for home after a goodbye hug from Sally. It was just as well that I had changed into trousers, one of my neighbours was putting her bins out for collection and shouted a cheery hello.

I didn’t sleep well that night, disturbed by dreams about dressing as Molly and thinking about what Sally had said about with me being around not feeling so alone since Chloe had left. As I woke up to get ready and dressed I realised that I hadn’t cleaned off the makeup from yesterday, and decided to have a look to see what Sally had given me. As well as the clothes that Butch had left for me, the jeans and top that I had worn home, there was now also a denim skirt, a plain blue A-line skirt, three tops, a hair fall, one makeup box, mascara, eyeliner, and lipstick.

I wasn’t sure if she was having a joke with me but decided to go along with it. The makeup only needed a quick refresh, the fall clipped into place and I was soon ready and dressed in the jeans, a sweetheart neck top, with the bra underneath suitably padded out. After a light breakfast I put on the blouson, picked up my bag, now filled with my phone, keys, wallet, and a few bits and pieces, warily looked out of the door to check the coast was clear, got in my car and set off for work.

Taking a deep breath and with my head held high, I entered the station and getting a few funny looks from some of the guys, headed for the locker room, where Sally was already half stripped getting into her station wear. She hardly seemed to notice anything unusual and showed no embarrassment about being half-dressed in just her bra and panties in front of me.

“Morning Molly, I like the outfit it’s a good choice. I realise that you are playing a game and wanted to come in dressed, but the breasts might be a bit much for the guys, I really suggest that you remove the fall bra and padding and clean off the makeup while you are on shift.”

“Sorry for barging in on you while you are changing, I’ll knock on the door in future.”

“Don't be silly, there’s no need for that, I told you that I am not bothered about you being here while I am changing, it never bothered me when Chloe was here why should it worry me now?”

I was soon looking my normal self again and when we went out into the rest room luckily Butch was not there and nothing was said.

After a relaxing call-free morning we had an emergency alarm and were briefed while were getting into our turnout gear and being driven to the incident.

“There’s a major fire at a large industrial complex, a pharmaceutical works. There are already two crews in attendance and another two on the way. The fire is being contained by the other crews, our role is to check through the warehouse for anybody trapped or injured.”

“I know that you two want to be involved as much as the guys, but we need somebody to stay out of the building to act as backup if anything goes wrong, and respond in an emergency, keep your walkie-talkies open and listen for any calls for assistance.” Watch Manager Sutcliffe pointed at us, once more the ‘girls team’ were being kept out of the dangerous situations. I was beginning to get frustrated, both at being considered part of the ‘girls team’ during call-outs, but also that Sally and I were not being allowed to carry out all the duties that we were trained and qualified to do and were being over-protected by the guys who then all donned their face masks and breathing apparatus and rushed headlong into the warehouse area.

As the guys gradually came out of the building one-by-one with their areas cleared and any personnel safely evacuated and were all taking a few minutes well earned rest, the noise of an almighty crash and a loud scream came over the walkie talkie. Determined to do my share of the hazardous work I ran to the warehouse and started looking around for what had happened.

I soon saw a foot and leg sticking out from under a section of overhead gantry walkway that had collapsed and fallen under the effects of the heat and quickly recognised that it was Butch Coulson and that his leg was badly injured. I scrambled to remove the section of gantry to free him. I was just managing to get him up on his feet when one of the nearby silos split having been damaged by the falling gantry, and we were both showered in a cloud of dust which obscured my vision and made breathing difficult. We had just moved from where Butch had been trapped when there was another heavy crash as a huge section of the gantry tumbled down throwing up another cloud of dust, but at least we had escaped being killed of badly injured by the wreckage As I could only see a couple of feet in front of us, it was several minutes before we got back out into the fresh air, and I let the paramedics deal with Butch.

“Well done for getting him out of there Molly, but it was stupid going in without your mask and breathing apparatus, you could easily have been overcome by the smoke and fumes, don’t ever do that again.” WM Sutcliffe both praised and admonished me in one sentence. “There’s an emergency shower over there, go and rinse off your hard suit and wash your exposed skin, you never know what that dust is.”

Back at the station after I changed out of the turnout suit, had a thorough shower and donned my station wear, I went out into the rest room to be met with a round of applause.

“Well done Molly, our hero of the day.” Mac greeted me. “After what he has put you through you could easily have left Butch to his fate and walked away, but you chose not to and put your life on the line for him. No matter how slight you are, you are a bigger man than he is. At the end of the shift you are coming out with all of us to celebrate, if you don’t get a bravery award for what you did today, there is no justice in the system.”

I was looking forward to finally being accepted as an equal member of the watch, until I got back to the locker room with Sally and remembered that I had arrived wearing girl’s clothes.

“Damn it Sally I only have the clothes that you gave me, what will the guys think if I go out with them dressed as a girl for the second time.”

“For what you did today Jay, you could go out with them naked gripping a red rose between your teeth, the guys won’t care if you just put on the clothes you arrived in, even the bra and boobs, and redo your makeup. The guys won’t mind going out with Molly, just let them have their fun.”

“Come on girls, why does it always take you so long to get ready, we could have had the drinks in by now.” was the only reaction I got from them.

A few day’s later I found that Harry Sutcliffe had put my name forward for a gallantry award and the guys all congratulated me making me feel me feel so proud.

Attitudes changed and Sally and I were now treated no differently to the guys going into hazardous situations fighting fires along with the rest of the watch and everything was going smoothly until one morning Sally was staring at me as I pulled on my shirt.

“Jay, take your top off again, don’t ask why, just do as you are told.” she said poking me in the chest after I had stripped. Have you not noticed that you are developing breasts? I thought that I saw little bumps under that tee-shirt, but now I am certain, you are just like a young girl going through puberty..”

“Don’t be silly, it’s just bit of flab.”

“Jay, I know what I am seeing, I’ve been there myself. You really need to go and get examined by the medics.”

A week later I was at regional headquarters being prodded poked and bled by Dr James Dalgliesh, the regional doctor for the fire service.

“You are definitely developing breast tissue and your areolae and nipples are swelling, are you taking any drugs or vitamins.”

“Definitely not.”

“Any other symptoms, trouble with erections, not shaving so often, weight loss or fat redistribution or anything like that?”

“Now that you mention it probably most of those things, but I never really gave it much thought.”

“Let’s get your blood samples sent off, I’ll get them rushed through the checks, come back and see me in seven days.”

When I returned a week later he had the results of the tests in front of him.

I’ve had my suspicions when you first came in and have been making some enquiries with your Watch Manager. We have found thatour body is awash with female hormones which are slowly feminising you. From my enquiries it seems that the pharmaceutical works where you attended an incident a while ago produce amongst other things oestrogen for birth control and hormone replacement pills. The silo that cracked showering you with dust was full of highly-concentrated female hormone. You were in that atmosphere for several minutes without a mask breathing in the dust, and your body has meantime absorbed all those chemicals. Other than a DNA check, all your blood tests are what I would expect from a female. I would like to give you a physical examination again, please strip off for me.”

For the next hour I was prodded poked weighed and measured, until the Dr Dalgliesh was satisfied.

“Even in the few days since your last examination, your breasts have grown, your waist is slimmer your backside is plumper., and your musculature seems slimmer, I have to tell you that your body is taking on more and more female characteristics.

“What? Are you suggesting that I am turning into a woman.”

“At the moment that is what I am saying, but I need to speak to a specialist endocrinologist to determine the best course of treatment for you. Otherwise you are perfectly fit and can continue with your duties if you wish. I suggest that you speak to your manager to decide whether it would be too embarrassing for you or your colleagues to continue on duty and decide what to do until we can sort something out.”

Totally confused I called Sally to go round to have a chat with her before contacting Harry Sutcliffe. She was really upset for me when I told her what the doctor had said and that I was not looking forward to my condition being made public.

“No need to be embarrassed Jay, you have suffered an industrial injury, and I can’t think of another phrase to use, in the line of duty. You should treated with the same sympathy and understanding as if you had broken an arm or legs or suffered from lung problems from smoke inhalation. Leaving that aside how do you really feel?”

“No disrespect meant Sally, but I am a man, and have no intention of becoming a woman. I know that the guys all call me Molly and that they have seen me a couple of times in women’s clothes, but that is not really me, I just hope that the doctors can reverse the effects of all this.”

“Meantime you have to live with where you are at. Your breasts are getting to the size where you need the support of a bra, that first one you were given by Butch is not the right size, let me measure you up and we’’ll go out and get you some proper-fitting ones.”

“No Sally I can’t it would be too embarrassing, my body might be changing but my mind is still definitely male, I will be uncomfortable browsing through racks of bras. Besides I wouldn’t know what I was looking at, please just go out and get me something that you think is suitable.”

She returned after a while and presented me with a pack of plain cotton 38B bras. “I picked the plainest least fancy ones they had, try one and I’ll show you how to adjust it for correct comfort and support. There you are how does that feel?”

“It feels fine but it really pushes up the flesh and makes me look even bigger.”

“For us girls that is one of the reasons to choose the ones we do, sexy feel comes second, comfort comes third. I think that looks ok, put your shirt back on and see what you think.”

“There will be no hiding these from the guys or indeed from anyone else, what will people think?”

“You have two choices, either look like a man with breasts, or look like any other woman, you can’t hide the fact that they are there.”

“I can’t just turn up at work like this, can you go in and have a chat with Harry Sutcliffe and ask him what he thinks is the best way to deal with this?”

“Ok, if that’s what you want. Go home, you should not be too obvious with that coat you are wearing. I’ll have a word with him first thing and then give you a call, or better still call at your house at the end of my shift.”

All day, waiting for Sally to come back to let me know what had been agreed, I was brooding about what was happening to me. Every time I passed a mirror I was staring at the reflection of my prominent breasts, even though I was wearing a loose shirt they were still patently obvious.”

When Sally came to the door she was not alone, she had brought Harry with her. When he entered at first he said nothing just gazing in disbelief at my chest.

“Eyes upwards Harry! I didn’t know you were coming or I would have worn something looser and less obvious.”

“Sorry, Jay, although Sally told me about what was happening to you I didn’t realise the extent.”

“Sit down, I’ll get coffees and we can have a chat. Ok Harry tell me the worst.”

“Actually at the moment there is no bad news, in fact exactly the opposite. After Sally filled me in with the details it confirmed something that was at the back of my mind when I had a call from the doctor asking if you had been in any hazardous toxic situations recently. After the fire and seeing the state you were in, all covered in chemical dust the whole site was treated as hazardous and cordoned off while an initial investigation was taking place. Luckily the investigators were all in serious Hazmat suits with respirators and no one else seems to have been affected by the spillage except you. Even Butch is showing no effects like you, he was wearing his face mask and respirator which appears to have protected him. However you were exposed to it, breathing it in for several minutes, while you were getting Butch to safety.”

“I suppose that is good news, although it doesn’t help me, how is Butch by the way?”

“He’ll be ok both his legs were broken and he will be off work for some time, but I’m told that he should make a full recovery given time. He has asked to see you to thank you for saving his life, he can’t express how grateful he is that you put your life on the line to save his, and sends his apologies for the way he has been treating you.”

“What is my situation, am I allowed to come back to work?”

“I’ve had a discussion with the doctor and apart from the obvious he said you are otherwise fully fit and are cleared to return if that is what you wish. I know that you will be embarrassed to talk about your situation and will be worried about what the other guys on the watch will think of you and the changes you are going through. Apologies for not discussing it with you first, but I, with the help of Sally, explained the situation and everyone of them is looking forward to you rejoining us, no matter what is happening to you, you are a valuable member of the watch. On watch your uniform is no different to anyone else’s, but how you dress off-duty is up to you and nobody will think any the less if you if you accept the changes that are happening and want to present yourself as a female. I’m sure that Sally will help you all she can if that is what you want to choose. “

“Give me a few days to think it over, but one way or another I’ll be back at work next week.”

“One final thing and I’ll leave you in peace to talk things through with Sally. I have had a talk with your union rep and he is putting in a claim for an industrial injury for you. If you come back to work it will make no difference to the size of the award which I am told from previous cases of firefighters affected by chemical attack will be extensive and almost automatically awarded. I look forward to seeing you next week.”

“Have you had any thoughts about how you want to appear in public, you can’t hide away in here. You promised Harry that you would be returning to work next week and whatever you decide you need to adjust to it quite quickly.” Sally asked me after Harry had left.

“If I decide that it might be more convenient all round, and it’s still a big if, do you think that I could be made to look realistic and presentable as a woman?”

“I’ll be honest with you. As well as your short slim physique and the breasts, you are not nearly as muscular as you were, your waist and bum are becoming much more femininely shaped, and your skin is much softer than it used to be, the hormones have definitely get a huge grip on you. Even without the clothes and a more feminine hairstyle you are already looking more like a woman than a man. If we can get something done with your hair, and apply a bit of makeup, you will look no different to any other woman, and will easily pass as one. You are not on your own with this, I will help you transform yourself as much as I can, and Harry told you that if you want to appear at work as a female that will not present a problem, why not give it a try?’

To be continued