By Iona Laing

Chapter Three – Pain and more pain!

(Jessie)

I trudged my way home, the early evening was dark, and the wind was whipping the drizzle full on into my face.

I pulled my jacket hood firmly closed and tried to ignore my misery and get home as quickly as possible.

I was about halfway home, keeping to the main streets with the better lighting as Jenna and I had been taught time and time again, I was just about to turn off High Street into Castle Drive.

Despite the wind whipping past my ears trying to dislodge my hood I became aware of several sets of feet pounding up the street behind me. Just as I was about to turn around to see who it was, I was roughly shoved and sent flying on my face, the pain was intense as I hit the floor and slid along the pavement. But I was certain it just a precursor of what was to come.

My stomach was really not helping, but now my knees and hands were sore where I had scraped along the pavement. As I eventually staggered back to my feet, I found myself confronted by four of the biggest kids, thugs really, who went to our school. All of them thought they had achieved something worthwhile when they victimised smaller, more vulnerable kids and I was one of their favourite targets. I knew that today was not going to get any better, in fact I braced myself for a whole lot of pain and misery.

Alan and Brian Bromley were twin brothers who were just over six foot tall, members of the school rugby team and considered themselves invulnerable to the school rules and regulations as the head never disciplined them. With these two confronting me were Dennis Knott nephew of our esteemed P.E Teacher and resident sadist and Martin Hines, both were almost as big and were as equally violent as the Bromley brothers to us smaller kids.

All four had asked Jenna to dance with them at a youth club social the previous week. When she told them “Hell would have to freeze over first!” and then added “She nor her friends would give them the time of day even if they were the last boys on Earth!” then the four thugs vowed to get even for this public snub and affront to their masculine dignity. Now it seemed I was about to pay for that graphic and very public rebuff!

So here they were, the four biggest bullies at our school and me, I didn’t fancy my odds much.

The traffic was streaming past us at quite a speed, even in this grotty weather, so I couldn’t run across the road to get away. Not only that but I felt really, quite unwell and very close to throwing up.

“Well, if it isn’t Jessica the little fairy!” spat Alan as he shoved me again. I staggered backwards.

“My name isn’t Jessica!” I responded.

“Well, you look like Jenna, your stuck-up bitch of a sister!” snapped Brian as he shoved my forwards “So you must be Jessica!” Insulting my sister was totally unacceptable, I vowed to get a strike in of some description.

The next thing I knew Martin slammed his fist into my stomach which doubled me over. The pain was excruciating; I could see bright lights popping off in my vision and could taste the start of bile in my mouth. As I went down Dennis’s foot kicked my stomach which almost caused me to black out. All around me I could hear laughter and taunts of “Fairy, Gay boy, Girlie, Queer, Pansy!” and many other words that their limited intellect could come up with. Hardly original, but then none of them were likely to be candidates to join MENSA. I was almost giddy from the pushing and shoving. The punches and slaps were not helping me either.

I staggered to my feet again with my book bag now only over my right shoulder as the left shoulder strap seemed to have been broken. Alan grabbed me by the collar of my coat and lifted me clear off the ground and close to his face. His vile breath stunk of tobacco, alcohol and stale food. “We’ll teach you and your slag of a sister to mess with us!”

Never mind me, I knew I was already in deep trouble, but he wasn’t going to get away with insulting my beautiful sister! While his face was that close, I did the only thing I could logically do, I head butted him!

The loud “Crack!” of his nose breaking was almost music to my ears. Less pleasant was the blood and snot that sprayed over me. As he yelped with pain he dropped me to the floor. As I went down, I used the last of my strength and swung my book bag in an arc around my head with as much force as I could muster. My bag, full of textbooks connected with Dennis’s Knott’s face and the zip tag ripped his left cheek open from his ear to his mouth which added more blood to the mix.

“The nastard hab mroken by doze! Kick hid muckin ed in! yelled Alan with both hands clasped to his face in agony.

After that the kicking and stamping started in on me in earnest. One particular stamp to my groin caused me to projectile vomit over my attackers’ feet and trousers as well as myself. Then I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen, I am pretty sure the swearing and kicking seemed to intensify from then on, but I no longer cared. Just as I was losing consciousness and the battle to stay awake to protect myself, I was vaguely aware of a loud horn, the squealing of tyres and lots of shouting, after that it was all blessed darkness.

(Jennifer.)

I was frantically scanning the surroundings and foot paths to either side of the road, when I saw a sight that I would never, ever, forget. It would be seared into my mind’s eye for a long, long time to come.

“There!” I screamed pointing across the road, “There! There they are, Stop, STOP!!” As the minibus slid to a halt, I thrust open the front passenger door and hit the ground at a sprint. Hot on my heels were my husband, our two sons and both our mechanic friends.

I barged through the thugs and saw with horror my little baby, my darling Jessie lying there covered in blood and vomit, his face almost unrecognisable from the angel I had loved and nursed from birth. My “she lion” instincts kicked in and I heard myself screaming and turned ready to tear these mongrels’ limb from limb.

Jeff Snr took me in his arms, lifted me from the floor, spun me around, shouted at me to get my attention, “Jen, JEN, stop, STOP It, we’ve got this, see to Jessie, see to Jessie. I looked down to see the four thugs being pummelled by my son’s and our colleagues, then I knelt by Jessie’s side.

My first aid training started to kick in through the fog of my emotions, think Jen, THINK! A.B.C. Jen, concentrate, A.B.C. In spite of my almost overwhelming mothers’ instincts to pick Jessie up and cuddle him to me, I stopped and forced myself to do the basics.

A; Airway. Jessie has a mouth full of vomit still, which I hooked out with my fingers. His tongue wasn’t blocking his airway! That’s good, good! Next, come on Jen, think, for God’s sake, think!

B; Breathing. Yes, Jessie’s chest was now rising and falling, but not by much, but it was there. He’s breathing!

C; Circulation. I felt Jessies neck and wrist for a pulse. It was weak and fast, but it was there. There is blood everywhere, but no obvious signs of knife wounds to his chest, but I have to open his coat, come on Jen, get your fingers to work damn it!

“Jessie can you hear me? Jessie, wake up, please wake up! It’s Mummy”

It was at that point that Jenna arrived and slid to the other side of Jessie from me and grabbed Jessie’s other hand.

“O Jessie, I am so sorry, this is all my fault!” she wailed. “Speak to me Jess, come on speak to me!”

Jenna then pushed her Mum’s arm to get her attention.

“Mum! Look Mum, Jessie’s groin, she’s really bleeding!”

I looked where Jenna was pointing and saw the blood stain slowly expanding across Jessie’s legs and groin. Taking hold of the thin fabric of the trousers Jessie was wearing I ripped them apart revealing Jessie’s lower abdomen. Jenna pulled the panties that Jessie was wearing to one side and jammed a rolled-up bunch of tissues and a pad, clean from her backpack into the opening, a wound that had been inflicted behind Jessies’ small penis. And she pushed on it with all her might.

There was no way around the fact that I was in shock, but some things were starting to register as out of the ordinary. “She?” “Her?” Jessie wearing Jenna’s panties and her pair of her school trousers? I stared into Jenna’s face and motioned downwards with my eyes, Jenna screwed her eyes shut momentarily, then looked me in the face and gently shook her head from side to side and mothed the word “Later!”

Chapter Four – Help arrives.

(Jennifer.)

By now there were blue lights everywhere, then the whole area was lit by an aerial floodlight. Police vehicles, two ambulances and then strangest of all, the “Whoomph, Whoomph!” of a helicopter landing in the school playing fields across the road

(Jenna.)

I stared down at Jessie; I couldn’t get over how bruised and pale Jessie looked. I was feeling guilty for things I had said to Mum in the heat of the moment, and for how Jessie was dressed, but that couldn’t be helped now. All I knew was that no matter what, I had to keep pressure on Jessie’s wound, hold her hand and talk to her.

“Mum, Mum, it’s an air ambulance, an air ambulance, Jessie, an air ambulance has come to save you, come on Jessie, don’t you bloody well give up, you can’t leave me now, come on Jessie, fight sister of mine, fight damn you, you hear me, fight?” I was yelling in Jessies ear for all I was worth.

A man and a woman in bright orange suits trotted up and came and knelt by Mum, Jess and myself. They started unpacking equipment and began working on Jessie. The woman spoke and said “Right, my name is Lorna, I am a doctor on the air ambulance, who do we have here?”

Mum answered,

“This is Jessie Jones, eleven years old, my youngest child. we’re pretty sure Jessie’s been stabbed in the groin, as part of a violent assault. When we got here those four thugs were kicking and stamping on Jess.

This is Jenna our second youngest and she’s been applying pressure to what appears to be a stab wound, it does seem the bleeding has slowed somewhat. Jessie had vomited and I cleaned out what I could, checked airways, his breathing is shallow, and his pulse is weak and very fast.

Jessie and Jenna are almost like twins, even though there is eleven months between them. Jessie was a premature baby and has had health problems probably as a result of that, respiratory problems mainly. Jenna has been with Jess when he’s been in hospital in the past and they have a special relationship, a unique bond as twins would.”

Lorna looked at Jenna. “Right Jenna, you have done an excellent job, I need you to gently move your hand so I can have a look at Jessie’s wound. If the bleeding starts up, I might tell you to put your hand back on the wound. Tell me Jenna, where did these tissues and the pad come from?”

“They were in a sealed pack in my bag. I knew they had to be as sterile as possible!”

“Well done, Jenna, you have a real aptitude for first aid, perhaps you’ll have a future in medicine of some sort, now, let’s see what’s going on with Jessie, shall we?”

(Jessie.)

I eventually felt myself waking up, but I hurt so much that I decided that it was a stupid thing to do and went to sleep again. Later, when I awoke again, still hurting in so many different places that I wished I hadn’t come round.

There seemed to be lots of blue flashing lights which hurt my eyes. Plus, some pain in the backside kept shining a torch in my eyes asking me questions, that didn’t help matters either. I could hear lots of voices, some shouting and someone crying, which I realised was me and someone else which I just knew was Jenna, I squeezed both my hands and got big squeezes in return.

I hurt, in fact the whole thing was agony so I did the only sensible thing I could and passed out again.

I seemed to remember several other episodes of waking up, strange smells, voices asking daft questions, whispering and crying, then, thankfully it went dark again and seemed to stay that way for a long time, but being I had no way of judging where I was or what was happening, I had no idea how long I was away with the fairies.

(Jennifer.)

I watched as the two medics worked frantically on Jessie, even though it was through a veil of tears. The whole time I could hear Jenna talking to Jessie, although it was hard to follow what she was saying over the noise of the street and the helicopter engine still running in the playing fields. But Jenna was almost besides herself.

“Oh Jessie, I am so sorry, I should have walked home with you and sod the play, . . .

I’ll never forgive myself. . . . .

Come on Jessie, don’t you bloody give up, come on Sis, you can do it, fight Jessie, fight like you have never done before. . . . .

You and me are the twins, we are sisters and I need my sister at my side, I can’t be a twin on my own. . . .

Come on Jessie, squeeze my hand if you can hear me, please Jessie, please, squeeze my hand. . . . .

Mom, MOM, she squeezed my hand, I felt it, . . .

Come on Jess!”

I too feel a tightening of the grip from Jessie and I’m adding my own encouragement to Jenna’s.

Dr Lorna looks at me and speaks slowly and calmly.

“Right Mrs. Jones, we need to intubate Jessie, I don’t like the way Jess is struggling to breathe. With the history of respiratory distress, the fact he may have inhaled vomit and potential rib damage I want to do it now before we board the aircraft, to do this I need to put Jessie into a deep sleep and give drugs that will temporarily paralyse him, once that is done we can better control Jessies condition, do I have your permission?”

“Yes, of course, whatever you need to do but please, save my child!”

“Okay, can you and your daughter step back for a few minutes please so we can get this done as quickly as possible.”

Within seconds there is a hive of activity around Jessie, all very calm and measured, people in orange suits, people in green suits, two policewomen stretching a plastic sheet above Jessie to keep the worst of the rain off of him. They were all fighting to keep my baby alive. I am almost frantic with fear, Jenna has tears streaming down her face still but is fascinated with everything that is being done for Jess.

Within ten minutes Jessie is strapped to a stretcher, drips in both arms, one plasma with various drugs, the other some whole blood, Jess has been immobilised with head and neck restraints and tightly secured to the stretcher with the breathing tube taped to his face.

The doctor is speaking to me again, ‘I must concentrate, come on Jen, concentrate’.

“Right Mrs Jones, we need to get going, well be taking Jessie to City Hospital, they have a surgical team getting ready as we speak, you can come with us, it will be noisy in the aircraft so you won’t hear what we are saying between ourselves, but we are doing everything we can for your child. We need to go now, the Police have told your husband where we are heading so don’t worry.”

I scramble to my feet and try to prise Jenna from Jessies side and into her father’s arms, but Jenna is having none of it.

“No Mum, NO, I have to stay with Jess, I HAVE TO, you know the link we have, I have to be with Jessie, please Mum, please?”

I looked across to Dr Lorna hoping for her to say “No” to Jenna, to save me from being the bad guy in this scenario. Lorna looks at the two of us, then at Jessie. She speaks into her radio, then smiles at Jenna.

“Okay Jenna, because the three of you are small and light you can come with us, BUT, I need you to be a big girl and let go of Jessie’s hand so we can load the stretcher into the aircraft, I need you to sit quietly with your Mum.

When we get to the hospital it will be very busy and scary, but it is all to help us help Jessie. You must stay at the back of the room, and do as you are asked, okay, can you do that for me, if not, you will have to travel with your father and brothers!”

“Thank you! O thank you so much, I will do as you ask, I promise I will be a big girl for Jessie.

I hug Jenna to my side as we follow the four medics carrying Jessie’s stretcher across the road to the rear of the air ambulance, as we are led to a side door strapped in and given headphones to wear. Jenna clings to my arm like a limpet but desperately peers over the rear of the seat to see how Jessie is doing, as do I.

Within moments it seems we land on the helipad at the hospital and a whole mass of people are waiting for us. Jess is wheeled into a curtained bay while Jenna and I are taken to a desk to give them details about Jessie. We have to wait ten minutes before we are allowed to see Jess.

I am horrified at the sight before me, Jess looks so small, frail and very pale. All his clothes have been cut off and he’s draped with one of those awful hospital gowns. They have a thick breathing tube down Jessies throat and lots of machine’s beeping. A large grey-haired man comes to us.

“You must be Jessies Mum and sister, I am Mike Smith, the Senior Registrar on duty this evening. I have to warn you that Jessie is seriously ill and is about to go into surgery where the wounds and damage Jess has suffered will be fully assessed.

The surgery could take some time, but Jess seems to be a fighter, not many who have suffered the abuse and violence that Jessie was subjected to tonight make it this far. We don’t intend to lose them now, so, quickly give Jessie a kiss and tell him you’ll see him soon.

One of the nurses will then take you to a family room and get you a cuppa while you wait for the rest of your family to get here.”

We approached Jessies bed and quickly said our goodbyes. Again, I overheard Jenna talking quietly.

“Come on Jessie, fight for your life Jessie, come on sis, I know you can do it! I love you so much and I am not prepared to lose you now, you hear me?”

Jess was wheeled away to surgery, and we were led to a quiet room. As we were walking through the corridor, a door opened and a youth was led to a cubicle, both eyes were turning dark blue and he had bloodied dressings sticking out of both nostrils, he was also handcuffed and walking between two Police officers. He saw Jenna who tried to break free from my grip.

He yelled at Jenna.

“Ha, dere yu are ditch, I hobe the queer freak dies, dib your fault, you should hab gone out wib me when you hab de chance. Hey, ged off, you hurting me!”

The police men had him face down on the ground by this stage.

The nurse shoved us past the scuffle.

“Rot in hell Bromley, rot in hell!” Jenna yelled as we walked past. I heard one of the officers say
“Well done Bromley, I think you have just added ‘Hate crime’ to the long list of charges you’ll face, so I would keep that big yap of yours shut if I were you.

As we were led into a side room, I could see another youth being led into Accident and Emergency between two more Police officers. He had a huge dressing covering half his face, no matter what he was confronted with, it seemed Jessie had gone down fighting.

That’s my boy, or is he?

What me? A Foster Carer?

By Iona Laing

Chapter Five – News and amazing developments.

(Jenna.)

After a quick cup of tea Mum and me were then interviewed by two policewomen, we told them what we knew.

I told them what I’d heard at school, how scared everyone was of the Bromley brothers and their two friends. I told them of finding my Dad and two brothers as well as a couple of the guys from the workshop making sure the four thugs didn’t get chance to run away and finding Jessie covered in blood in my Mum’s arms. They had a big plastic bag with Jessies cut up clothes in smaller bags inside which they said they were taking as evidence.

Eventually we were left alone as my father and brothers were busy giving statements to the police themselves.

Mum twisted in her chair and took both of my hands in hers and stared at me for a few moments, her face streaked with tears and ruined make-up. After seeming to think for a few moments she smiled sadly at me and asked.

“Jenna, is there something you want to tell me?

I have heard you talking to Jessie this evening, and some things you said to me when you were so stressed need to be explained. You have called Jessie ‘she’ and ‘her’ several times and used the word ‘sis’ too. I also noticed Jessie was wearing a pair of your old school trousers as well as a camisole and some panties.

I can guess what is going on. Now I won’t be mad or angry at you, neither of you are in any trouble at all but I would like to know for definite what is going on.”

“Oh Mum, I have haven’t I!

Mum, please, I can’t tell you yet, I promised Jessie I wouldn’t tell on her, and I can’t do it now, I know I am only twelve and she’s eleven, but we have done loads of research. We didn’t know how to tell you and Dad.

Jess is terrified you won’t love her anymore, but if I tell you now then I will have betrayed Jessie, and our closeness could be destroyed forever. Besides if I tell you, it feels like I don’t expect her to get better, I have to let her tell you her secret herself.

I have to believe she is going to get better so she can tell you herself, so please Mum, can you trust me for a bit longer, just until Jessie is awake and getting better, then we’ll tell you everything, I promise!”

Mum studied me for a while, then smiled as she pulled me into a hug.

"Oh Jenna, Jenna sweetheart, you have just told me everything but the details, every time you just referred to Jess you have said ‘she’ and ‘her’. I will trust you, I don’t want to think you are risking your closeness with Jessie, a sister’s love is precious, and we don’t call you ‘The twins!’ for nothing.

Just to relax your mind, your fathers, mine, your brothers and your sisters love is unconditional and total, we will love the pair of you regardless of circumstances.”

With that, Mum pulled me into an even tighter hug and rubbed my back, within minutes I was fast asleep!

(Jennifer.)

Jenna soon relaxed in my embrace; her gentle snores told me that the stress had finally caught up with her. I had not held her so tightly or for so long in a while, and I missed this closeness.

‘So, it seems I have a new daughter, I can’t say I am surprised. Jessie has always followed Jenna and me in being so petite. Jessie’s mannerisms have always mirrored us, much more so than her father or brothers, or even Jacqui’s for that matter.

Her father and I have talked about the possibility of Jessie being Transgender in the past and neither of us have a problem with that, if that is what Jessie is. I feel so inadequate in that neither of our youngest offspring felt comfortable enough to trust us with such news. Still, that is in the past, we will sort the future out together.’

Thirty minutes later Jacqueline rushed into the room, and I quickly put my finger to my lips to signal quiet. I whisper what I know to her, she is in floods of tears, as is Deborah her best friend from when they first started school. Both of whom are also in the first year of their studies to become accountants. Deborah had driven Jacqui into the hospital as she knew Jacqui was in no fit state to do so herself, having said that, I don’t think Debs was much better. Both have played big parts in both their lives since the day Jenna and Jessie were born.

Another thirty minutes later Jeff, our two lads and their mechanic friends Neil and Ian come into the room, they quietly tell us of their side of events. Thankfully they have cleaned themselves up from their oil and grease covered hands as well as changing from their stained overalls.

It seems the thugs are facing possible charges of attempted murder, assault, grievous body harm, conspiracy of all the previous charges plus at least one will be charged with carrying a concealed offensive weapon, all of them will be charged with resisting arrest and injuring officers in the execution of their duties, and that was just so far.

It seemed they were all splattered with Jessie’s blood and vomit, and the blood of two of them were likely to be found on Jessies clothes so the police were hoping the forensic evidence would make this an open and shut case, I told them that the assault was now being considered as a hate crime too.

Jeff gently lifted his daughter out of my arms as she was still fast asleep. He settled her on his lap and nuzzled her hair as tears gently fell from his eyes. I knew he was not only expressing his love for Jenna, but for Jessie too. Jenna eventually woke, a little surprised to find herself on her father’s lap. I looked across at her and smiled and shook my head to signify “No” I hadn’t said anything to anyone. She gave a relieved smile back and quickly hugged her brothers and sister, then everyone else in the room. Then sat between Jacqui and Debs, cuddled up to the pair of them.

It was another two hours later that a tired looking Dr Smith entered the room accompanied by another doctor and a nurse, they were all dressed in theatre scrubs. He sat opposite us all,

“First of all, Jessie is out of surgery and will be taken up to intensive care where you should be able to visit and see Jess for yourselves. It will be limited visiting to two at a time and only family members I am afraid.

For those of you who don’t know me I am Dr Mike Smith, I’m the Senior Registrar here tonight, this is Dr Ruth Hunstanton, a Specialist Gynaecologist and Plastic Surgeon who we had to call in for Jessies surgery this evening, alongside her is Tonya Graham – Specialist Family Liaison Nurse. I saw Jenna, Jacqui and Debs frown at the mention of a gynaecological presence being needed as no doubt did I. I noticed Jenna smile and cross her fingers.

What we have to tell you is of a personal nature concerning Jessie and potentially a little embarrassing.”

At this Neil and Ian both said they would leave and phone the house in the morning. Deborah asked if she could stay to be with Jacqui and Jenna. Once they had left, Dr Smith looked around the room at us.

“I can tell you are all close family members.

Jessie has been subjected to a vicious battering; we’ve found three stab wounds; Jess’s bruising will look horrendous for a fair while. However, there are no skull fractures, and we’ve seen no evidence of swelling in Jessies brain, the thugs seemed to have concentrated on Jessies chest, abdomen and the groin areas in their attack.

What I must tell you will probably come as a shock, but first I need to ask some questions of you Mr. and Mrs. Jones. Has Jessie ever been investigated for abdominal problems, has Jess been complaining of stomach aches lately?”

“No Dr Smith, as you know Jess was born four weeks prematurely and has been struggling with respiratory problems ever since. Jessie has always been a small, petite child but we thought that was partly due to problems in my pregnancy and partly genetic, Jess has always favoured myself and Jenna and my side of the family, whereas our three eldest favour my husband and his side of the family.”

Jenna sat up and said.

“Dr, Jessie has had a few bouts of stomach-ache lately, in fact that was why Jess was walking home alone this evening, Jess said their tummy was really sore and she, . . he was going home to lie down for a bit!”

Dr Smith gave a half smile and glanced at Dr Hunstanton.

“When was the last time Jess had a sore tum before that Jenna, three or four weeks ago?”

I could see Jenna counting back in her mind, then smiled and nodded.

“And about the same gap before that. We used to joke that Jessie’s sore tummy coincided with my own, because of . . . . !” Jenna blushed bright red and looked embarrassingly at the floor.

Tonya put her hand on Jenna’s knee, “Your cycle?”

Jenna coyly nodded while the two Jeff’s and Jason looked a little confused.

It seemed my mind shot into top gear, so many things started to slot into place.

Dr Smith nodded to Dr Hunstanton to carry forward the conversation.

“There is no doubt that Jessie has suffered a severe beating, but fortunately the stab wounds, although in the area of Jessie’s groin, were relatively superficial in nature, but any such injury is a major afront to anyone’s body, we have to not only consider the injury itself, but take into account things such as wound contamination and potential for infection, so we have Jessie on substantial amounts of broad spectrum antibiotics.

Jess also lost a lot of blood, so we are administering blood transfusions specific to Jess’s blood group!”

“You can have some of mine, I have lots!” shouted Jenna as she stood up and started to roll her sleeve up.

“Thank you Jenna!” smiled Tonya patting her arm, “We will bear you in mind if we get low, but we have lots at the moment, thank you sweetheart!”

“Oh, if you are sure!” replied a somewhat disappointed Jenna. Dr Hunstanton continued to impart what they had discovered.

“Anyway, what we really wanted to talk about is what we have discovered about Jessie during our assessments and the subsequent surgery.

Before we took Jessie into theatre, we did an ultrasound of Jessie’s abdomen and what we saw was more than a little surprising. We saw structures we didn’t expect and saw no trace of certain items we did expect. We need to perform other scans, but they can wait until Jessie is out of the woods.

In short, Jessie seems to have the full reproductive organs of a female. Jessie has two ovaries that look like they are starting to undergo the awakening of a puberty. From what we could see Jessie also has a uterus and vagina, all Jess lacked was an external opening for the waste to be evacuated from their body. We think either the stab wound or the kicking and stamping Jess suffered tore part of the perineum which allowed the bloody waste to be discharged, which is what you tried to stem with your tissues and pad Jenna.

We have observed the budding of Jessies breasts, but again that is only from a cursory examination, we were more concerned to check for lung damage from broken or cracked ribs. We don’t think any are that badly damaged, just badly bruised, Jess will find breathing painful for a while that is for sure.

We cannot find any evidence for the existence of testes, that is testicles anywhere within Jessie, but we will do more scans in a day or two, the main thing is getting Jessie through the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours and having Jess regain consciousness.

So Mr. and Mrs. Jones your son is, in all likelihood, physically, another daughter!”

“Yesss!” quietly hissed Jenna pumping her arm in celebration.

Dr Hunstanton smiled at her as Tonya hugged her around Jenna’s shoulders. Jenna blushed once again and kept her head down, but I could see her carefully glancing around the room to gauge other’s reaction to this news.

“Of course, you will all be offered counselling to help you come to terms with this quite unusual news, none more so than Jessie.

Jeff Snr puffed out his cheeks.

“Son or daughter, I couldn’t give a rat’s ass either way, all I want is my child safe, well, healthy and happy with their own identity and back amongst us in one piece. My wife and I have had many conversations over the years about Jessie.

Jess is a fighter, we very nearly lost him, rather her, several times before we even had chance to bring h . . sorry, her, home from hospital after her birth. Only a blind man could not have noticed how similar Jenna and Jessie are, we have always called them “The Twins!” because they are like two peas in a pod. We were pretty sure Jessie was Transgender and were waiting for her to tell us how they felt, but this shoves all that into a whole new ball game.”

I saw Jenna looking gobsmacked at her father, before she launched herself at him at full pelt, sobbing her thanks.

Jeff Jr looked at Jason who gave a small nod.

“We didn’t know about the discussions our parents had had privately, but we too both thought Jess was likely TS, it was so obvious, but the little squirt tried so hard to live up to what he thought others expected of her, got to get the pronouns right! We tried to open up conversations several times, trying to say we had no problems with people who were TS, but Jess would get embarrassed and clam up.”

“Yes!” added Jason, “We could all see it, but I think Jess was terrified to admit to us that they felt like a girl, we spoke with Jacqui about it didn’t we?”

“That’s right, on more than one occasion. But we didn’t know what to do for the best. Deb and I spoke with both Jess and Jenna a couple of weekends ago about some of our friends at Uni, didn’t we Jenna, but we could see the fear in Jessies eyes, and her defences shut us out!”

Jenna just stood in the midst of us with a completely stunned expression on her face.

“But, . . but, . . you all knew, oh my God!”

I held arms open and she ran to me and quietly cried into my neck. I looked at the Doctors.

“Do you know what has caused all these anomalies and what do we do to resolve Jessie’s situation. I can’t believe she has carried all these difficulties on her shoulders on her own, poor little soul, at least she had her sister at her side!”

Doctor Hunstanton took one of my hands that Jenna had released.

“None of this is anyone’s fault. We know you had a problematic pregnancy, and a lot of research suggests that if the womb gets flooded with excess male hormones at an unfortunate time in the pregnancy what would have been Jessie’s clitoris gets enlarged to such an extent that the staff who delivered Jess, assumed she was male.

Now we tend to undertake some extra tests before a determination of sex is made, but that is all irrelevant at the moment.

What we need to do for Jessie is to wait until they are a bit stronger, then we can perform relatively easy surgery to give her the genitalia she should have been born with, it sounds that you would all support Jess in this?”

Everyone nodded their agreement. The Doctors explained what they would do, and when, assuming Jess was fit enough for the surgery. The hospital would also start the paperwork to get Jessie a revised Birth Certificate due an error made at birth. They then left us to go check on Jessie to see when we could see her. I then spoke to everyone.

“I know you all have questions, especially ones you want to put to Jenna, but I have spoken to her. She made a pinkie promise to Jessie that she would not betray her confidence, and I have agreed that it is okay for her to keep that promise for the time being.

It is vital that the rest of us do nothing to affect Jessie’s trust in her sister, so, while I know everyone, especially me, is desperate to know what has been done and what the two of them have spoken about, I am asking you all to try and keep your curiosity under control until Jessie is getting better!”

Everyone nodded their agreement and took turns in giving Jenna reassuring hugs.

Moments later Tonya stuck her head into the room saying we could go up to Intensive Care to see Jessie.

Chapter Six – More aggravation.

(Jeff Snr.)

I decided to pick Jenna up, as despite her earlier nap is was obvious she was shattered, both physically and mentally.

We were all quietly walking past a series of curtained cubicles, as we drew near the last in the row, it was impossible to ignore increasingly raised voices from behind the curtains.

Two Policemen were standing quietly with their backs to us but obviously listening intently to the exchange taking place in the cubicle.

“Listen Uncle, you better get us out of this mess!”

“Me, you want me to clear this shambles up! F**k me, you four morons not only let it be known you were going after the little fairy, but you got caught getting away. Just how f**king stupid are you; this is a monumental f**k up from start to finish. You are all in deep shit. It might have been better if you had just finished the little queer off, but no, not you f**king morons, you left a witness alive. You should have killed the bastard off when you had chance!”

“You have to do something Uncle, or you Paterson, don’t forget we know where you keep all your photographs of the pretty boys you have snuck pictures of from the school showers!”

“Yes Paterson, as a caring headmaster I am sure you could get access to the little f**ker up in Intensive Care, and kill the little bastard off before it can give a statement to the coppers!”

I heard Jenn, Jacqui and Deb give a collective gasp; Jenna was struggling to squirm out of my grasp.

The Policemen turned round, one held his fingers to his lips asking for quiet, while the other held his arms open wide to stop my sons in their tracks from storming the cubicle to rip the incumbent’s limb from limb.

“I don’t f**king care how much you morons threaten me, nor you Knott, if you think I am going to waltz into the I.C.U. and top the little pansy for you five idiots, you’ve another f**king thing coming!”

“You’ll be ruined Paterson, I wouldn’t want to be in prison with your record once the other inmates find out what you have been doing with pictures of their kids!”

“I don’t give a flying fart, I am not committing murder for you nor anyone else, even if the little queer asked for everything he got.

Look, we’ll tell everyone that the little queer has been flaunting itself at you and offered to take you back to its house to give you all blow jobs and let you f**k him up the ass.

No right-minded man will convict you for defending yourselves from the little queers’ advances!

And if you Knott, if you had kept better control over your cretinous morons of nephews and their dick head friends, then perhaps the f**king fairy would be already dead and we wouldn’t have this bloody mess on our hands.

I mean look at these prats, one his nose plastered all over his face, your nephew is probably scarred for life, and all four are facing a long time in youth detention plus adult prison after that.

The Jones family are all still so popular that the backlash from the rest of the community will be widespread, even if their youngest kid is queer and who doesn’t deserve to draw breath with the rest of us more normal society members!”

“Ok Paterson, you get up to I.C.U. and see what the latest is on the fairy while we come up with consistent stories of how the little bastard flaunted himself!”

“I’ll go up Knott, but I am not killing him for you or nobody. So, hurry up and get your stories straight, and I warn you now, you drop me in the shit, and I will take great delight in telling all and sundry how you conspired to commit this attack, and a few of the others you have committed in the last five or six years!”

With that the curtains flew open and an obviously angry headmaster, Stuart Paterson took half a step forward before realising that they had had an audience, and just who that audience were.

“F**K!”

“My thoughts exactly” responded one of the policemen, “Stuart Paterson you are under arrest for suspected offences against children in your care,

You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you say may be given in evidence.

Do you understand Mr Paterson?”

“Oh go f**k yourself!”

“I’ll take that as a yes for now Mr Paterson, arms behind your back, I am going to handcuff you for your and my safety.”

“I’m not hanging around for all this shit!” shouted George Knott the schools sadistic P.E. teacher, as he tried to make a break for it, however he didn’t count on how angry Jacqui and Deborah were as he tried to push them out of his way.

Deborah easily grabbed him into a wrist lock and spun him around, face first into Jason’s fist, then Jacqui dropped onto his back with her elbow bent into his already dislocated shoulder, his screams could be heard all over the hospital and surrounding grounds.

He too was arrested and read his rights before being led to a different cubicle for treatment.

It was a long night for the arresting officers, all six protagonists were desperate to implicate the others in that evening’s events, plus various computers were seized for investigation as were several miniature cameras discovered in both the boys and girl’s showers at the school, these would eventually lead to a whole paedophile network being destroyed.

Finally, the Jones family made it to I.C.U.

They were distraught to see how frail Jessie looked with so many machines hooked up to her damaged body.

The bruises were almost overlapping; shoe imprints were evident in places where Jessie’s tissue had been injured by so many kicks and stampings.

(Jennifer.)

When Jenna and I were allowed into Jessie’s bedside an amazing change in our dynamic occurred. Jenna became strong beyond anyone of her tender years should be capable of.

While I needed the reassurance of the nurse monitoring Jessie, Jenna lay her head next to Jess and she took hold of her hand and started talking quietly and insistently,

I could not hear what she was saying as such, but almost immediately there was a calming of the brainwave traces that were being monitored, and slowly her pulse reduced and was less erratic.

The nurse released me and went to Jenna’s side.

“Whatever you are doing young lady, keep doing it. Here, you are not supposed to, but lie alongside your sister on the bed, she needs to feel and hear your presence at her side, you are the medicine money cannot buy!”

So began the long vigil for us all at Jessie and Jenna’s bedsides. Apart from a few hours on the Sunday morning when Jessie had further surgery to help correct her anatomical anomalies, Jess and Jenna were never apart. A cot was erected alongside Jessie’s bed for Jenna who continued ministering to her sister.

We heard on the Monday that the six individuals implicated in the attack on Jessie were remanded in custody without the opportunity to securing bail in case they tried to intimidate witnesses. It seemed the list of charges grew daily, with the feeling of anger within the community almost palpable. All six were desperately trying turn Queen’s evidence against the others.

Meanwhile Jessie had a constant stream of cards, cuddly toys with visitors dropping off food, clean clothes and best wishes for the whole Jones clan. And slowly, but inexorably, Jessie fought her way back to the land of the living.

Back to the centre of our family.

By Iona Laing

Chapter Seven – Slow awakenings!

(Jessie.)

There was a strange aroma in the air. Lots of beeping too. I couldn’t move but I was aware of a weight along my right-hand side. The pain wasn’t quite so intense, the worst seemed to radiate out from my lower stomach. Mind you, the rest of me seemed to want to add to my misery too.

I was desperately thirsty and tried to say “Drink!” but whatever came out of my mouth didn’t seem to match the instructions I’d sent it. The weight that had been immobile to my right, suddenly seemed to scoot up to my head and I felt someone kiss my forehead as well as the drip of tears onto my face. A crying Jenna gently called out “Jessie’s awake!” That seemed to generate a whole lot of activity. But I still didn’t get my drink!

I was aware of Jenna getting off the bed, lots of activity and strange voices all talking at once. Then came the pain in the butt again, the bright light, once again asking me to follow the light with my eyes. It hurt my eyes so much, but I did it, just in the hope they would switch it off and leave me alone! Fat chance or so it seemed.
I could recognise some of my family talking, I could definitely hear Jenna sobbing, I did hope she wasn’t hurt. I now realised I’d got a breathing tube down my throat which is not the most pleasant of sensations, but I suppose it’s better than suffocating! I had had to have this done a couple of times before because of my respiratory problems.

I kept my eyes screwed tightly shut because it hurt too much to stare at the bright lights in the room. All the while, different machines beep, bonged and biped. Then someone asked for the room lights to be dimmed.

“Hoo flipping ray”, someone with a little compassion for my eyes.

“Okay Jessie, can you open your eyes for me now sweetie?” asked a strange voice I didn’t recognise.

“Come on Jessie, open your eyes, . . . . please Jess, . . . . for me?”

That was Jenna, I better open them as she won’t give up until I do, so I slowly opened my right eye as much as I could, but my face felt a bit stiff and swollen. I looked to my right and there was my sister and best friend, she looked awful, tired and red eyed, but she was there, my beautiful sister smiling at me.

(Jenna.)

“Jessie, oh my God Jessie, you have had me so worried, don’t you ever do that to me again!” I sobbed into Jessie’s shoulder.

“Oh Jessie you won’t believe the number of cards people have sent you, you have so many cuddly toys that there wouldn’t be room for them and you in the bed so most of them are waiting for you at home! You’ll have to put up with me for cuddles for now. Oh Jessie, Jessie I love you so much, and everything is going to be okay, you’ll see!”

(Jessie.)

I wanted to say to Jenna “I didn’t do it on purpose!” but with a mouth and throat full of plastic tubing you can’t say a lot! My Mum had both hands on Jenna’s shoulders, and my Dad was behind them both.

They all looked tired, worried and relieved all at the same time which is not an easy look to achieve. I went to move my right arm but found it immobilised in some way, which was also true for my left side too. My nose itched but I couldn’t scratch it, nor ask someone to do it for me, brilliant!

The strange voice to my left then said.

“Well done Jessie, now sweetheart, can you open your left eye too and look at me?”

My left eye seemed to find it more of a battle to join the party, but eventually I managed to get it open too and looked across to my left. In the background were my two older brothers holding onto Jacqui and her friend Debbie, all four looked like they’d been crying.

Jeff Jr looked like he’d a black eye and Jason had some dressings on his forehead. Nearest to me was a very pretty young lady in a white coat with a stethoscope hanging around her neck.

(Dr Ruth Hunstanton.)

“Well done, Jessie, rather than me shining a bright light in your eyes again, can you see my finger, blink twice if you can?” Jess blinked twice.

“Right sweetie, see if you can follow my finger as I move it about.” So, for the next minute or two I got Jess to follow my finger as I moved up, down, left and right.

“That was really good Jessie, now I am going to ask you a few yes/no questions, I want you to blink once for “No” and twice for “Yes”, do you understand?

Jessie blinked twice.

Right Jessie, are you in pain?” Jessie blinked twice quickly, then twice quickly again.

(Jessie.)

The doctor fiddled with something in the drip in my arm. I felt a cold flush through my body, and everything eased and I sort of sighed in relief.

The doctor smiled at me. “Okay Jessie, I hope that has eased things for you a little bit!” I blinked twice a little more slowly.

“That’s good sweetie, now, do you know you are in hospital?" Again, I blinked twice. “Excellent Jessie, now then, you have a breathing tube in place, but hopefully we can take it out tomorrow, is it really sore?” I blinked once.

“Ok sweetheart, now I know you must hurt all over, but I want to know where the worst pain is, so I am going to make a few guesses as to where it hurts the most. If the pain is really bad you blink twice for yes, if it’s not too bad, just blink once for no, do you understand?” I blinked twice. “Don’t worry I’m not going to poke and prod, okay?” I blinked twice again.

“Now is your groin or lower stomach, really sore?” I blinked twice quickly, then I blinked twice again. “Oh sweetheart, I’m so sorry, so is it the worst of all your aches and pains?” Once more I blinked twice. “I am not surprised with everything you have been going through, even before you were assaulted!

We will try and keep you as comfy as we can, but you have been asleep for quite a while, and we don’t really want to knock you out again! Now, how about your face?” Two blinks! And so it went on until we had covered my entire body.

“I know you are really tired sweetheart, so I’ll stop asking questions in a moment and let your family have chance to have some time with you.

“Do you know what happened to you?” Even though I started crying, I blinked twice. I felt Jenna climb carefully back to me on my bed and the doctor put her hand on my forehead and she gently rubbed her thumb backwards and forwards. “You are safe Jessie, there’s no need to worry, those thugs won’t bother you ever again, do you understand?” I blinked twice and screwed my eyes shut as wave after wave of emotions flooded through me.

Jenna cuddled me as best she could and started singing some lullabies to me which she had done when I had been especially stressed with bullying, my problems or my depression.

When I had calmed down the doctor spoke to me again. “Now Jessie my name is Ruth, and I will come and see you in the morning sweetheart. All being well we will be able to get rid of that breathing tube for you then you will be able to have a drink and speak to us without the blinks! Okay sweetie?” I blinked twice.

“I will now leave you with your family, as I said I am Doctor Ruth Hunstanton, but you can call me Ruth, okay?” another double blink. ”We will need to have a long talk together tomorrow morning Jessie, and not just about the injuries those thugs inflicted on you. Okay sweetheart?” another double blink.

“I will leave you with your family for a while, then you need to rest, you are a very lucky girl to have such a loving family around you, I will see you in the morning, okay Jessie?” another double blink but a confused one,
‘Girl?’, she has repeatedly called me a ‘Girl and she/her’ has Jenna told on me? She promised she wouldn’t tell anyone; she promised me faithfully she wouldn’t! But has she? They will all hate me, I know they will, I’d be better off dead, Oh God, my life is over!’ I tried to scream but couldn’t because of that damn breathing tube.
Jenna grabbed my head with both hands.

“Jessie, . . Jessie, . . . LOOK AT ME JESSIE!!!!” she shouted. “Everything will be okay, I promise, and I have kept my promise to you, honest, I haven’t said anything to anyone, I promised you I wouldn’t and I haven’t, please believe me Jess! Do you believe me?” I eventually blinked twice.

After that I calmed down a little. Then my whole family took turns talking to me telling me how worried they had been, how scared they were when they thought they were losing me and that they loved me no matter what the future held.

Then the Dr left, and my family gathered around me, all looking tired and worried, but mainly looking relieved.

My Mum and Dad gave me and Jenna who was lying by my side gentle hugs. Then Jacqui cried on my left shoulder and my big strong brothers, although looking somewhat embarrassed hugged me too. Debbie spoke softly to me too, telling me how much she too loved me and that I should just relax and get better.

By now I was very tired and before I realised anything I was asleep once again.

I awoke a couple of times in pain, but I also was having nightmares, not only about the attack but also an increasing sense of doom about telling everyone what a freak I was!

Jenna, Jacqui, Debbie and my Mum were constantly at my side, a nurse showed me a button I could push to release some analgesia when needed, they told me I could not overdose, mores the pity, as it would only allow me a certain amount of pain relief. Jenna slept on my bed with me while Mum, Jacqui and Debbie slept in reclining chairs or out in the corridor.

Before I knew it, the hospital slowly awoke and a new day’s activities started, which were heralded by increasing amounts of noise. My sisters, Debbie and my mother were all allowed to use the shower that was part of the bathroom attached to my room. After they’d had their breakfasts brought up from the cafeteria, it wasn’t long until Doctor Hunstanton arrived to start the next stage of my treatment. I felt sick with fear and couldn’t stop the shaking.

Chapter Eight – Amazing developments.

(Dr Ruth Hunstanton.)

“Good morning, Jessie, are you ready to have that breathing tube out?” Jessie gave me a double blink, but the poor soul looked half frightened to death.

“Okay Jessie, look at me, you have absolutely nothing to frightened of or any need to worry, I need you to trust me sweetheart, okay?” Jessie gave me a hesitant double blink, tears seeping from her eyes.

“Okay, you know the routine Jess, when I tell you, I want you to give me a great big cough and the tube will be out before you know it.

We’ll fit you with a face mask and then we’ll slip you a few ice chips to ease your throat! So, are you ready?” Again, Jess gave me a tear-filled double blink.

“Now Jessie, on the count of three, one, . . two, . . three, . . . and out! “

(Jessie.)

Before I knew it, the tube was out, and a full-face mask was placed over my nose and mouth.

I could smile at everyone in the room. Dr Ruth checked my lungs over carefully with her stethoscope, my mother slipped a few slivers of ice in my mouth under the face mask, that felt wonderful.

I was still in a great deal of pain, especially around my groin.

My arms were now freed a little, but I had drips in both arms that I needed to be careful of. Dr Ruth grabbed a chair and sat by the side of my bed and held my left hand.

A nurse closed the door between my room and the corridor. With a horrible sinking feeling I knew I would have to tell everyone how I felt, and apart from Jenna no-one else would understand. Maybe my Mum and Dad would stop her from having anything to do with me, but at the moment she was clinging to my right hand, almost crushing my fingers, but with a wide smile on her face.

(Ruth.)

“Okay Jessie, in case you don’t remember, I am Dr Ruth Hunstanton, but you can call me Ruth, okay?”

Jessie blinked at me twice before remembering they could speak, so I did get a hoarse “Yes!”

“Right Jessie, do you know how long you have been in hospital with us?”

Jess blinked once before I got a sheepish smile and a hoarse “No!” with a shake of her head.

“No, have, . . have I been here long, a day or two?” Jess hoarsely enquired.

“I am sorry Jessie, but including today you have been here six days, you were brought in on Thursday night, it’s now the following Wednesday morning. You were not only badly beaten but you were medically unwell too!

You needed surgery Thursday night and then further surgery on Sunday to correct a birth defect that was causing you problems and probably has for a while now. So, tell me Jessie, have long have you been having problems with your tummy?”

Jess looked at me with a slightly stunned expression.

“For a while Doctor Ruth!” I noticed Jess give a questioning glance towards Jenna who hugged Jess’s arm. “I have been getting tummy aches on and off for about three months now, it gets really sore, then it clears up for a while before it starts all over again.”

“Did you have tummy ache Thursday Jessie?”

“Yes Dr, it had been sore since lunchtime!”

“Okay Jessie, you can call me Ruth, we’re all friends here, okay?”

“Okay Ruth” replied a very dubious Jess.

“Now Jessie, this might be a bit embarrassing to answer, but had you seen blood when you have been going to the toilet, or in your undies, especially when you have had a sore tummy?”

Jessie stared at me incredulously. “How did you know? Sometimes it was dark red, then it got lighter, then it would stop until my tummy got sore again.”

“Was it in your pee or your undies as well?”

“Both!”

“So Jessie, how did you keep yourself clean?”

“Jenna helped me.” Jess gave a sideways look at Jenna. “She gave me some of her pads and showed me how to wash the blood out of my panties if I had an accident!”

I smiled at Jessie tenderly,

“You were a lucky girl to have her big sister to help her, weren’t you?”

“Yes, Jenna is my big sister and my best friend, I couldn’t have survived, especially these last few months without her help. She has helped when things were getting to be too much, she has kept my secrets for years, she has always looked out for me, all my life.”

Jess then gave me a strange, confused glance.

Jacqui, Deborah and Jenna were in tears, as was Jennifer, she held Jessie’s hand which rested on Jenna’s hip as she was, as usual lying at Jessie’s side cuddling her.

“Oh Jessie, Jessie, why didn’t you tell me sweetie, I would have helped you, you know that!”

Jessie nodded.

I was also in tears by now.

“I know that Mum, but I have been such a nuisance to you all my life with my ill health, ever since I was born. I didn’t want to add to that anymore, I thought it would go away, plus, I was embarrassed, I didn’t know how to tell you, I’m sorry Mum!”

Dr Ruth took my hands,

“Now Jessie, I need you to listen to what I am going to tell you, okay?”

She nodded.

“What we found when you were brought into the hospital, apart from your injuries had us really worried. First, a question, do you know what menstruation is?”

“I know a little bit, it is when a girl gets her period?”

“Yes Jessie, that’s right, I’ll try and explain things in a bit more detail so you can understand what has been happening to you.

A period is what happens when a female’s lining of her uterus, that has made itself ready to become pregnant, is not used for that purpose, then the lining of the uterus is in effect reabsorbed by a girl’s body and the waste is discharged as a bit of bloody goo each month. That’s when a girl or woman needs to use tampons and or pads to absorb the bloody discharge.”

“But what has that to do with me Ruth?” asked a puzzled Jess.

“Well, Jessie, when we were treating your injuries, it became apparent that you a very special individual. You had a birth defect that made it look like you had a penis.

When you went to the toilet, was it a messy process?”

Jessie stared at me wide eyed.

“Yes, I have always sat to pee, it sprays out all over the place otherwise!”

“And what you thought was your penis, did it ever get hard, especially say, first thing of a morning?”

“No Dr Ruth, eww, never!”

“Now Jessie, listen to me carefully, when we looked at your insides, which we had to because of the injuries you received, we made quite the discovery.

You have lived for eleven years with everyone thinking you were a boy, but now, as you have started puberty, your body has shown itself in fact to have a girl’s system.

Those tummy aches you had were you having your first few periods, the blood you were passing when you had a pee or your little accidents, were you getting rid of the waste. Your plumbing was a bit messed up, then, when you were kicked and stamped on, your perineum was ruptured, and you almost bled to death because nearby blood vessels which were damaged.

We have had a quick look at your chromosomes, and it seems you are female, as much of a girl as your two sisters, Deborah, Nurse Tonya, your mother and me!”

Jessie looked at us all, with everyone smiling, nodding and giving signs of encouragement.

(Jessie.)

“So, I am, . . I, . . I am a girl?”

“Yes Jessie, you are now the youngest of us sisters!” said Jacqui smiling.

“I know this must be a bit of a shock to you Jessie.” Said Mum.

“So, I am a real life girl? Honestly?”

“Yes Jessie, you are female and always have been, just nobody knew it!” said Jacqui, at which point I burst in to floods of tears yet again.

My Mother hugged me as tightly as she could.

(Jennifer.)

“Shush Jessie, shush, we’ll all help you as much as we can.” I gently rubbed her back, “There’s no need to worry or be so sad!”

“But Mummy, these are not s, . . s, . . sad tears, they’re, . . they, . . they’re happy ones!”

“I can explain!” said a tearful Jenna as Jessie continued to sob her heart out. All four women looked at Jenna, who had sat up straight and held Jessie’s hand as tight as she could.

“It’s like this Mum.

I have known for years that Jessie had always felt herself to be a girl. She told me how she felt when we were five or six years old. I helped dress her in my clothes whenever we had chance.

We were working out how to tell you all, and our plan was to tell you when we broke up for the Christmas holidays, but this news, it’s, it is like the greatest present Jessie could have ever gotten,

When I was told, . . .that Jessie was truly my sister, . . I couldn’t believe my ears, I, . . I didn’t know what to say, if anything, but we all needed Jessie to wake up first, but, . . but I never had chance to tell her the news, . . . I didn’t know what to do, but I had promised Jessie that I would keep her secret.

I wanted to tell you Mum, really, I did, but I had promised Jessie I wouldn’t tell on her, and I promised her on a pinkie swear! I wouldn’t break my promise.

You know Mum, that people have always thought we were twins, now we know how close to the truth that is!” then Jenna also started sobbing her heart out.

“Oh girls, girls, come on now, . . . shush girls, shush, . . no-one is mad at you although I do wish you could have trusted me enough to tell me, if not me then Jacqui, or Deb, if not one us then there was your father!”

“Noooo!” screamed Jessie.

“You can’t tell my father or my brothers, they will hate me, they already think I am a sick little freak as it is!”

“They will not hate you Jessie, they love you dearly, and besides, they already know. Now, first a warning, I never, ever want to ever hear you refer to yourself as weird, or freak, or any other derogatory term again, do you hear me?

Plus you don’t know yet just what they did for you last Thursday night. They really laid into those four thugs, although they didn’t do as much damage as you seemed to have inflicted. That’s why Jeff has a bit of a black eye and Jason has scrape marks on his forehead, they won’t want to mix it with a Jones ever again.

Your father and brothers never really knew how to relate to you, they never really knew how to treat you, that is true, but that was mainly because of the age difference.

You have to believe they can’t wait to get to know their new little daughter and sister, they love you as much as they love Jacqui or Jenna!”

“But Dad will be so disappointed, he’ll think I am a freak!”

“One last warning Jessie, no more name calling, got it?”

“But it’s true Mum, the kids at school already think I am weird, the girls, apart from Jenna’s friends, won’t have anything to do with me and I doubt that is going to change once this gets out, I’ll be a bigger laughingstock than I already am!

Jenna has had to defend me as it is, I don’t want her to get in any more fights and arguments because of me!”

(Ruth.)

“Look at me Jessie!”

Jess looked up into my face.

“Do you trust me Jess?” Jess nodded.

“Okay Jessie, you are no more a freak as me, your Mum, your sisters or Deborah or Tonya here. I have got to know your family in some detail over the last six days. Your father and two brothers love you dearly.

They were the ones who rescued you last week from the hands of those thugs. They were also responsible for handing over the four of them to the police, they were also responsible in helping to arrest two others, your headmaster and P.E. teacher who were deeply involved in the conspiracy to attack you and have been committing abuse for years.

A lot more has come to light since then, they are truly awful people who will likely spend a long time in prison.

The pupils at your school have become aware of the abuse you, and they have been subjected to, plus the part your family has played in the ending of their reign of tyranny.

Look around this room Jessie, do you see the number of cards that are stuck to the walls? Your family tells me there are many, many more waiting for you at your home, along with dozens of cuddly toys and balloons.

They are all from people at your school, pupils and teachers who are desperate for you to get better.

Now Jess, let me explain what we had to do via the surgery you have undergone!”

Over the next half hour, I explained all the intricacies of Jessies surgery, and it didn’t seem possible, but her smile got wider and wider.

It was another sixteen days before Jess was fit to go home, but I was so glad to see one of my most special patients return home, back into the heart of a family who loved her dearly.

By Iona Laing

Chapter Nine – Ten Years Later.

(In the following ten years, life has continued on for the Jones family. The lorry repair business has gone from strength to strength. The two brothers have taken an increasingly prominent role in the business; both are married with a young family of their own, each having a loving wife and two young sons apiece.

Jennifer and Jeff Snr continue to run the administration of the business.

Jacqui and her partner Deborah run a very successful Accountancy Practice in the town and have undergone a civil partnership ceremony, and the family are happy to have them in their midst.

Jenna qualified as a children’s nurse and is the Ward Manager for the children’s acute medical assessment ward at the hospital. Jenna continued to be close to her younger sister, and they still shared their childhood home with their parents.

Jessie trained as a Registered Healthcare Play Specialist to help children get over their fears of being in hospital helping explain about any procedures they may face or anything else associated with a hospital stay, including working with children on the cancer wards and those with life limiting conditions.

It is mid-December and the run up towards Christmas is as frantic as ever.)

(Jenna.)

Jessie walks onto Jenna’s ward.

“Jessie, thank God, I caught you before you went home, I have a young girl in a side room, she’s almost eight, she is stressed beyond belief, but she won’t let any of us get close to her, can you see if you can reach out to her?”

“Of course, Jen, I’ll do whatever I can, you know that, so, what can you tell me about this child?”

“Oh, thank you Jess, come to the nurse’s station and I’ll tell you what I know, which to be fair, isn’t a lot.
Her name is Julia Jennings, she’s in the foster care system, or at least she was.

Apparently, she was dropped off at A&E this morning, suffering a major Asthma attack. Her foster carers dropped her off, said they were sick of her sickness and wanted nothing more to do with her, so they dumped her off on the hospital with a bin bag, with a few clothes in it and a teddy bear.

Once her health improves, she will be sent to a care home where she’s been before but where she’s suffered a lot of bullying. We’ve managed to get her stable, but she won’t have anything to do with us, so I was hoping you could get weave your magic and get through to her where we couldn’t.”

“Lead me to her Jen and I’ll see what I can do, but what kind of foster carer’s get into the system and will drop off a child so close to Christmas too, bastards!”

“Now, now Jessie, don’t let our mother hear you using such language!”

My sister did her fall back gesture to me and pulled her tongue out!

(Jessie.)

I entered a dimly lit side room, a small figure lay on the bed with her face away from the door, gently sobbing into her face mask clutching a small teddy bear to her chest.

“Hello Julia, my name is Jessie”

“Go away!”

“Well hello to you too! If you think you can get rid of me that easily you are very wrong! Now how about we start again. Hello Julia! My name is Jessie”

This greeting met with stony silence, so I took one of the chairs from outside the room, walked around the far side of the bed and sat down.

“Hello Julia!”

This time she turned away from me and faced the other side of the room. So, I picked up the chair and went to face her on the other side of the bed.

“Hello Julia!”

She turned her back on me once again, so once more I walked around the bed and sat facing her.

“Hello Julia! I am Jessie, can you say hello to me?”

She once more turned her back to me, but not so far as she had, so I sat on the edge of the bed and gently tapped her shoulder with my fingertip.

“Look at me Julia, come on, look at me!”

Stony silence.

“We can play cat and mouse all night, but I don’t give up, why don’t you look at me and tell me why you are so angry, whatever you tell me will be our secret, okay!”

She turned to me and gave me a very sad scowl, but a scowl none the less.

“Why don’t you leave me alone, you won’t listen to me, you won’t help me, you’ll be like everyone else, you won’t like me! So, just go away and leave me on my own and you can go home and be with your family!”

“Sorry Julia, no can do, I see a scared, lonely little girl in front of me who desperately needs a friend, and I’d like to be your friend if you’ll let me.

But either way, I am not leaving you on your own, now, you can either speak to me, or we can play hide and seek a while longer!”

“Why do you want to be my friend?"

“Because I see someone who is desperately lonely and needs a good friend, and I know how that feels!”

“You? You are so pretty you must have loads of friends, how can you know what it feels like to be a sick freak like me?”

“Oh Julia, Julia, for starters, I don’t want you to call yourself a freak ever again, second . . “

“Freak, freak, freak, I’ll call myself a freak as often as I want and you can’t stop me!” and she turned away from me again.

“Well, at least I got you to speak to me, that’s one point in my favour!”

She faced me with a defiant stare.

“No it isn’t, I wasn’t talking to you, I was telling you off so why don’t you just f**k off and leave me alone!”

“Well, while I don’t like your choice of words, I suppose it’s understandable in the circumstances, now then, that’s the second time you spoke to me, so that’s another point in my favour! And if you think swearing at me is going to offend me or frighten me away, you are wrong, yet again!

I know exactly what it feels like to be in hospital all the time, to have no school friends, to feel the whole world is against you and to feel you’ll never be happy like everyone else, but I promise you, I do want to be your friend!”

“You’re telling me lies, you can’t know what it feels like to be me!”

“You’re right Julia, I don’t know how it feels to be you, but I do know what it feels like to be lonely, to be afraid, to be ill all the time, and although I have a large family, I am the youngest and apart from my sister, I was convinced everyone hated me, but I was wrong, people did love me, just as there will be someone who will be your friend and will love you too.”

“I don’t believe you were lonely and afraid like me!”

“Ok Julia, if I can prove to you how I felt when I was your age, will you talk to me and let me be your friend, I promise I will be a good friend to you if you will let me, okay?”

“Go on then prove it, I know you can’t!” She crossed her arms in that defiant attitude that children love to use when convinced adults were trying to get the better of them. If she could have petulantly stamped her foot she would have, but being she was lay down in bed she couldn’t.

I went to the door and called out, “Jenna, when you get chance can you pop in for a minute or too, I want you to prove a few things to Julia here, she thinks I am lying to her!” A few minutes later Jenna came in the room.

“Hi girls, what can I do for you?”

“Okay Jen, Julia wants you to confirm that I am telling her the truth, so can you answer a few questions for me?”

“Sure thing, what does Julia need confirming?”

“Right Julia, pin your ears back and listen, there is no way I can get her to lie for me, okay?

Okay Jenna, did I spend a lot of time in hospital when I was little?”

“You were in and out of hospital that much that it was almost your second home!”

“What was I usually in hospital for?”

“A bit like Julia here, you often struggled to breathe, I forget how often you had to have the breathing tube down your lungs!”

“Did I have lots and lots of friends?”

“Well, apart from me and my friends, you had none of your own!”

“Why were you her only friend?” Julia asked Jenna, “She’s so pretty she must have had lots of friends!”

Jenna came further into the room and took one of Julia’s hands in hers, “She was my friend because I am her older sister, and I loved her to bits, still do!

If you let her Julia, she can be a good friend to you too, but to be a friend and love someone, you have to open your own heart and let that person in, understand?”

Julia looked from one to the other of us as realisation set in we were telling her the truth.

“Now do you believe me Julia when I say I want to be your friend?”

Julia looked at me and put her arms open wide for a hug and nodded her head.

“Thanks Jen, I’ve got this now!” I said, as Jenna gave me a big smile and a wink as she left the room.

“Hello Julia, my name is Jessie!”

A muffled sob from my shoulder area said, “Hello Jessie, can you be my friend?”

Chapter Ten – A New Friendship is Established.

(Jessie.)

We spoke for almost four hours that evening. Julia told me how her single parent mother had drink and drug problems and Julia had been taken into care at a young age.

She told about her health problems, particularly severe asthma attacks, that she was Coeliac, highly allergic to wheat, oats, rye and barley in all its forms which made her diet problematic, plus episodes of eczema probably due to stress.

She’d spent all her life being shuffled from one children’s home to another with a few, albeit short, placements with foster carers. The last of which placed their other children above Julia and seemed to take great delight in reminding her of that fact at every opportunity.

It seemed that this morning’s asthma attack was one problem too far as far as they were concerned, and they’d dumped her in Accident and Emergency with all her worldly possessions and walked away from her for good.

Julia relaxed with me, and I got some smiles then a little laughter. I told her we were even more alike than she realised as both of us had J, J for our initials, Jessie Jones and Julia Jennings, she laughed.

Well, I know something you don’t know, my middle initial is a J too, I am Julia Juliet Jennings!”

“Ha, well I know something you don’t know, so there!” and I pulled my tongue out at her, “My middle initial is a J too, I am Jessie Jocelyn Jones. Although I think your two names are prettier than mine. But I am named after my two grandmothers! So, I can’t change them, but you have the same middle name as my sister”

“I never knew my grannies, but the last time I was allowed to meet my Mum she told me she had named me after a famous actress, Julia Roberts I think she said, whoever she is, and Juliet after the character in the Shakespear play but I don’t know much about that other than it is famous but really hard to understand and a bit sad.”

“I will show some pictures on my laptop about who you are named after. I can even show you pictures of my grannies but neither of them is famous. So, Julia, do you know where your Mummy is now?” I knew I may be able to get the information, but I wondered how much Julia knew.

Her face fell and she looked sadly at me.

“The last foster family told me my Mum had died from all the drugs she took, but I don’t know how true that is. The other kids in the family would torment me by saying my Mum was dead and it served her right, that I didn’t deserve to have my own Mummy and I wasn’t having theirs, then we would get into arguments, but I was the one always told off for starting the trouble.”

She cried again and it took a while to settle her back down. We spoke about her teddy, which was called, oddly enough Teddy!

Before I knew it, I was being threatened to be thrown out of the ward, as Julia needed to get some sleep, which, to be fair, so did I.

She threw her arms tightly around my neck, begging me to stay with her until she fell asleep.

“I wish you could be my big sister, or better yet, my Mummy Jessie!”

“I would like that too Julia, but I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep! How about for now, I help you get ready for bed, let me give your face a quick wash, clean your teeth and tuck you in and I’ll see you in the morning.”

“You promise, you’ll see me tomorrow?”

“Yes Julia, I promise.”

“Pinky swear you’ll see me tomorrow morning?”

“I tell you what Julia, let me see if my sister is still here?”

“Yes, Jessie I am still here, I was just checking on you two, as you both need your beauty sleep!” responded Jenna from the doorway.

“Great Jen, tell Julia how we used to make pinkie promises to each other, and how seriously we used to take them!”

Jenna came further into the room, she looked carefully around her like she was about to reveal some top secret and that she didn’t want anyone else to overhear what she was about to say, then in a stage whisper she said.

“Julia, we used to tell each other things all the time, and swear each other to not tell a soul, all were pinkie finger promises, and we never broke one, not ever no matter how much others wanted to guess what we were talking about, and, keep this to yourself, we still do!”

“Nooo?”

“It’s a fact Julia, actually, the last one we made was about ten days ago!” I smiled at her.

“No, it wasn’t, it was the day before yesterday!” teased Jenna.

“It was? What was it about?” enquired a fascinated little girl.”

“Uh-uh!” I smiled, making the zipping motion across my tightly sealed lips.

Julia laughed, it was a lovely sound.

“Right madam, into bed, sleep and I will see you in the morning, I promise!” As I held my pinkie finger up to her, she hooked her finger into mine, she snuggled down, cuddling her teddy, and, within moments she was out like a light. Both I and Jenna kissed her forehead before we left the ward to travel the few miles home.

By Iona Laing

Chapter Eleven – Feelings, Plans and Decisions.

(Jennifer.)

‘That’s the front door, and one, no two sets of footsteps, that’s good, both my girls home safe and sound.’

“Come on girls, I’ve got you some homemade lasagne just coming out of the oven!”

“That’s great Mum, let me just quickly get changed and washed up, Jessie is in the loo, but kid gloves Mum, she’s had a tough night, so no third degree just yet, okay?”

I gave Jenna a quick nod as she ran upstairs after giving Jeff a kiss on his forehead as he slept in front of the television watching some mindless sports programme. Jessie popped into see her dad too, before coming into the kitchen.

“Hi Mum, that smells nice, you know you’ll never get rid of Jenna and me if we can always come home to one of your meals!” she gave me a one-armed hug and a kiss on the cheek.

She slid into one of the chairs around the dining room table, something that rarely held more than the four of us these days, not like when the kids were all little and it was pandemonium at mealtimes, quite literally feeding times at the zoo. Jessie looked really tired and more than stressed out by something.

I knew she would tell me what was going on when she was good and ready. I knew it was something associated with Jenna too, but Jessie always worried me. Jenna was almost bomb proof, but Jessie’s health was always fragile to say the least. She poured three glasses of water from the jug I had placed on the table.

“You’re late Jessie, I thought you were coming home around sixish tonight!”

“I was Mum, I was looking forward to watching the football on the tele with Dad tonight, Aston Villa were playing in Liverpool, well, there again, I may well have slept in front of the game with Dad, but Jenna needed my help with a patient, so I’ll catch the highlights later!”

“Who needed your play skills this time of night Jessie, I thought the staff were looking to settle the kids down, not get them excited and all alert!” It was then I noticed Jenna in the background violently shaking her head behind her sister.

“That smells great Mum, I’m starving, come on Jessie, tuck in and I can have the leftovers!” Jenna nudged her sister who seemed unusually reticent.

“You take what you want Jen, it smells lovely, but I am not overly hungry!”

“No, you don’t Jessie, you either take your proper share and eat it, or I am not eating either!”

“But. . “

“No but’s Jess, eat or else!”

“Or else what!” Jess almost snapped at Jen.

“Or else I will tell Mum what has you wound tighter than a watch spring before you are ready to tell her in your own words!”

“I don’t need this!” Jessie said tiredly, “I am not a child, and I am going to bed!” and she started to rise. Jenna put her hand on her sister’s arm and Jess was about to remove it forcibly from Jenna’s grip when a voice called from the living room.

“Jessie Jocelyn Jones sit down and behave, and you Jenna Juliette Jones stop winding your sister up!”

Jess slumped back in her chair as her father came into the room and sat next to her and placed his arm tenderly around her shoulders.

“I can count on the fingers of one hand how often “The Twins” have had words, so what has you so stressed that you are arguing with your best friend?” Jessie’s head slumped forwards and it was obvious from her shaking shoulders that she was crying. She didn’t speak but reached for Jenna’s hands and squeezed them.

“Shall I tell them Jess!” asked Jenna quietly. Jessie nodded but said nothing, but you could see the tears collecting on her napkin. I put the lasagne back in the oven to keep warm.

The tale that Jenna related about this young mite dumped back into the system in such a thoughtless and uncaring manner horrified me, Jeff was visibly angry too!

A system that was already creaking at the seams that would show little compassion for this wee mite tore at our hearts. Jen told how problematic Julia had been, in that she’d given up all hope and refused to relate to anyone, from teenaged trainee nurses to seasoned grandmothers, no-one and nothing could make an impression on this girl.

Yet within twenty minutes Jenna heard giggles and a spirited conversation taking place in the room as the two occupants both shared experiences of being ill, of being lonely, of feeling little if any love.

Jenna shared how quiet Jess had been as they walked back to where their cars were parked, and apart from snapping at her Jess hadn’t let her in to how she was feeling tonight.

Jessies head shot up towards the ceiling but at a ninety degrees angle to the seat she was in, tears flowing down her cheeks.

(Jessie.)

“I feel like shit! That’s how I feel, I feel like absolute crap, and before anyone reminds me of suitable language for a young lady, well, at this precise moment, I don’t give a flying fart.

I know all the technical stuff about not getting emotionally involved. Of separating heart from brain so I can do my job properly. I spent my morning with terminally ill kids, and I could keep the two halves separate. It’s really tough, but I can do it.

This afternoon I was preparing two kids for surgery tomorrow, again, professional and detached to a fault. Then I get called to Julia, and guess what, all my training and professionalism pissed off out the window in a heartbeat, I cannot, and I will not, get the vision of her heartbroken expression from my mind’s eye.

I have consoled the siblings of children who have died. Yes, I can see their faces still, but I can compartmentalise the emotional from the rational. Then there is Julia. That could so easily have been me, but I was luckier than her!”

“If you can call getting half beaten to death lucky!” her father muttered under his breath.

“But I had a family, Dad, a family who loved me and stood by me!

Julia has absolutely no-one and no hope of getting anyone, as she has some pretty significant health problems as far as the system is concerned, and the system is broken and not fit for purpose.

The system stinks, and yes, I know Julia is only one child the system is trying to cope with, but she has become the child I have to help, she’s my child and I’ll be damned if I am going to let her be destroyed by an over worked and under resourced care system, I owe her more than that.”

“You are wrong Jessie, she is not alone, she now has you!” smirked Jenna.

Jessie looked down and slowly, through her mascara-streaked face, a smile slowly grew.

“Why do I think I have just missed something significant?” asked their father.

(Jennifer.)

I looked at my two youngest girls and observed the almost telepathic link they still shared. Both were on the same wavelength. Jeff just glanced between the two of them, then looked at me and shrugged in confusion.

Jessie went to the cooker and extricated the lasagne yet again. She placed it by Jenna, removed a chunk of the slightly dried up meal for herself then both silently dug into their belated evening meal.

Jessie spoke to Jenna whilst eating.

“What time will Karen be in tomorrow do you think?”

“I’m pretty sure she starts about eight!” responded Jenna.

“That’s good, it gives me time to go see Julia first thing, just to make sure she’s okay and to show her I honour my promises, and I may even be able to get some breakfast in her!”

“I’ll make sure she’s included in the goings on of the ward while you are busy!”

“Thanks’ Jen, when do you think she’ll be well enough to be discharged?”

“I’d hope by the weekend, but if needs be, I could drag it out a day or two longer, but anything beyond Monday could be a problem!”

Okay Jen, let’s hope Karen is in the right frame of mind to pull a few strings for me?”

“I’m sure she will Jess, you know she thinks the sun shines out of your ars…! I mean she thinks the sun shines out of your backside!”

I thought it was time I injected myself into this discussion.

“Right, you two, I will now mention the use of language suitable for hearing coming from the mouths of two genteel young ladies! Such as you pair!"

Both gave me sheepish smiles, and replied simultaneously, “Sorry Mum!”

Jeff glanced between the two of them again.

“Okay girls, I am a mere male so am not privy to the inner workings of the female mind, so for my benefit, can you tell me, in layman’s terms, what you are concocting between the two of you.”

“I would appreciate a head’s up too if you don’t mind!”

Jessie patted her lips with her napkin.

“Okay, Mum, Dad, I am going to see if I can become an emergency foster parent.

Because of my job I have already been through a lot of the checks and clearances needed to become a foster carer! So, I want to see if they would let me take responsibility for Julia.

Then. If they would, I was going to ask you two if I could make use of Jacqui’s old room and let Julia live with us for a while. If it is a possibility, work would grant me two week’s paid maternity leave to help her settle in and for us to get used to her. But, most of all, it gets her out of the care system over Christmas and the New Year.”

“Oh sweetie, do you think this a wise move?”

“Yes Mum, my conscience won’t let me sit back and do nothing, I have to give this a try!”

“What do you think of this Jenna? You know this girl!”

“Well, it is up to Jessie Mum, but I had staff spending almost an entire day trying to reach out to this girl, and no one could. Yet, little Miss Miracle Worker here breaks through this child’s barriers in twenty minutes or so. I do see a lot of little Jessie in Julia, and if she feels this is the right move for her, then I, for one, will support her one hundred percent! If either of us knows this girl it is Jessie, I have seen her reach some pretty stressed-out kids, but honestly, this evening was something else entirely.”

“Thanks Jenna, that means a lot coming from you! And thanks for not thinking I am mad for even considering this whole process.”

“No worries, Sis, you have always had a strong maternal side to your nature.”

“So how long would a temporary foster care order be in place for?” asked Jeff.

“Well, my understanding is that they can be granted for anywhere between two weeks and two years!”

Jeff looked stunned. “Wow, you’ve certainly done your homework, considering this was, apparently, a fairly recent idea!”

“Well Dad, there’s this thing on my phone called The World Wide Web, aka The Internet, and us females can multi-task!” smiled Jess in response.

“What happens once this temporary order expires?” I asked.

“Well, one of a couple of things really, first, Julia could be placed back into the care system which is too awful to contemplate!

The second possibility is that I could adopt her as my daughter.” Jessie added quietly.

“Oh!” Jeff replied with a stunned expression on his face.

At that moment Jessie’s phone rang, she picked it up and after seeing who was calling her so late in the day, she quickly answered it.

Chapter Twelve – Changes and More Changes.

Jessie

“Hi Marie, what’s up? . . . .

Oh no! . . . .

How is she now? . . . . .

She won’t? . . . .

You can’t? . . .

Ok Marie, can you give her the phone do you think,? . . . .

Tell her it’s me! . . . . .

Julia, . .

Julia, come on sweetie it’s me, Jessie, . . .

Come on love, stop crying please . . . .

I know it was a scary dream, . . . .

I promised I would see you tomorrow didn’t I, . . . .

Yes, tomorrow is my day off, . . .

That’s right, I don’t need to be at the hospital for work! . . . .

No, I don’t need to be there for work, but I do need to be there for you don’t I? . . .

But I pinkie swore I was coming to see you didn’t I? . . . .

Jenna witnessed it too didn’t she? . . . .

Yes, I know it is a long time until tomorrow! . . . .

Listen to me sweetheart, I made you a promise and I always but always keep my promises! . . . .

I tell you what Julia, give the phone back to Marie for a moment, then I’ll speak to you afterwards! . . . .

Yes, I will I promise with an invisible pinkie swear that I will speak to you again in a moment or two!”

Jenna had left the table and was stood next to me, listening into the phone.

“Julia, it’s me Jenna, Jessie and I have just made a pinkie promise to each other that she will speak to you after she’s spoken to Marie okay, so you have my promise too!”

“Hi Marie, she’s in a hell of a state isn’t she? . . . .

I know, poor soul, . . . .

Listen, can you get me one of those large reclining chairs into Julia’s room, give me thirty to forty minutes and I’ll be back and I’ll keep her company tonight, . . .

It’s not a problem, . . .

No, after the day she has had it is the least I can do! . . . .

You will? . . .

Brilliant, . . .

I’ll owe you a drink next time we’re all out at the wine bar! . . .

No worries! . . . .

Can I just talk to Julia quickly? . . .

Thanks! . . .

Hi Julia, it’s me Jessie again, listen love, give me thirty to forty minutes to get there and I’ll see you shortly, Okay? . . . .

Shush sweetheart, shush, the sooner you let me go the sooner I can get there, . . . .

Right sweetie, I’ll be with you shortly. Yes, I love you too!”

I hung up the phone and realised I had just told a patient I loved her, and while it might not be ethical, I did love Julia, didn’t I?

Jenna bounced back into the kitchen with two overnight bags, obviously already packed.

Our Mum looked at her and said “Nope, not a chance Jenna, you have another twelve-hour shift tomorrow, the only place you are going to is to bed, your own bed, upstairs!”

“But Mum, I can’t let Jessie go back to the hospital at this time of night on her own, the car park is not well lit and it’s not safe for her to be on her own!”

“I know Jenna, I know, that’s why I’ll be taking her, then she can ring me in the morning when she needs a lift home!”

“If you think I am letting you two, go on your own, you have another thing coming, I will take the pair of you. Jenna, your Mum is right, you need to get to bed. But before I am prepared to be seen out in public with Jessie, can one of you help her to sort out her Panda eyes, we don’t want Julia any more traumatised than she already is!”

“Oh Daddy!” and I threw my arms around his neck before I slapped his bicep.

Within ten minutes we were on our way to the hospital, and I sat in the back of my parents Range Rover as we travelled in. We chatted about inconsequential things, and amazingly we managed to get a car parking spot quite close to the main entrance.

I hopped out of the car expecting them to watch me into the premises and then they’d turn for home. But my father turned the engine off, and both climbed down from the vehicle.

My father took my overnight bag and tossed it over his shoulder, then hooked his arm through mine as my mother did the same with my other. I glanced from one to the other. My mother spoke.

“We know she’ll be awake and a little stressed, so we won’t stay long but we want to meet this child who has so stolen your heart! Especially if she’s likely to be a member of our family, whether short term or for ever.”

I hugged my mother’s arm with mine and we made our way up to the children’s ward. We quietly entered and I saw Marie doing her rounds, she gave me a smile and approached the three of us.

I whispered.

“Hi Marie, you know Jeff and Jennifer, mine and Jenna’s parents. They wanted to quickly see Julia if that is okay with you?”

“Hi Folks, thanks for coming in Jessie, she’s been inconsolable, can’t blame her really.

It probably breaks umpteen hospital guidelines but what the hell, just be as quiet as you can, most of the kids are asleep again, as Julia’s screams woke most of them up and stressed them somewhat. I’ve Lorna in with Julia doing her best to keep Julia settled, if you can send her out as soon as you can, I’ve been single handed since the balloon went up!”

“No worries, Marie!” and we walked to the end of the corridor towards Julia’s room.

Even before we pushed the door open, we could hear her sobs as she said over and over that no-one loved her or cared about her and that I wouldn’t bother coming in to see her.

I bade my parents to give me a moment to settle Julia, I pushed the door open and quickly and silently entered the room.

“Jessie!” she practically screamed.

“You came Jessie, you came!” she yelled as she threw herself into my arms crying into my shoulder.

“I promised you Julia, and like I told you, I always, always keep my promises. Lorna smiled at me, gave me a wink and quietly left the room saying “Hello” to my parents as she left.

"Now stop this crying, you’re making my shoulder all damp. If you stop crying, I have a couple of people who are looking forward to meeting you.”

“Are you going to stay with me Jessie? They said you were. I’d like it if you were going to stay, but I know you have lots of important things you need to do!”

“Yes Julia, I will stay with you so you can safely get some sleep. But first I need to get you to stop crying as we don’t want to wake the other children, do we? See, they have brought me a nice big reclining chair, some pillows, sheets and a couple of blankets so I can sleep in your room.

Let me put you back on your bed, I think from the way you are gasping you need to wear your face mask for me, okay?”

“But it hurts Jessie, it digs in my nose too much, especially if I lie on it!”

“Okay Julia, wear it for now please and I’ll ask Marie if they have something else you can wear other than that mask. Now then, are you comfy on those pillows like that? Do you want me to lift the back of your bed up slightly?”

“I’m comfy thanks Jessie but could you raise my bed up a bit please.”

“Okay Julia, I am going to fetch a couple of people in who want to say “Hello” to you, they brought me into the hospital tonight to save me driving, there is nothing to be frightened of, okay? I’ll be here with you.”

Julia gave me a bit of a dubious nod. So, I quickly got my parents to come into the room.

(Jeffrey.)

Jessie quickly and quietly pulled us into the side room. There on the bed looking a little frightened was a small, frail figure, she took almost all the wind out of my sails, it was like déjà vu.

This was like so many previous times I had been in this hospital, there in an oversize bed was another child, looking scared and unwell. She even had the same pallor that used to be evident on Jessie.

I had to catch Jennifer as she too had obviously had similar feelings to me.

Jess was like a mother hen, and although Julia kept a wary eye on us, she had a beaming smile every time Jess would fuss over her.

“Right, introductions I think, Julia, this is Jeffrey and Jennifer Jones!” Almost immediately Julia stared at us.

“Jones? Like as in Jessie Jones?”

“That’s right Julia, I don’t call them Jeffrey and Jennifer, Jenna and I call them Mum and Dad!”

Julia studied us both intently, she seemed to accept Jennifer quite easily, but I think I threw her. She tugged at Jessie’s sleeve as Jess was now sitting proudly alongside Julia on the bed.

I barely heard Julia ask, “That’s your Dad? He’s HUGE!”

Jessie laughed and kissed the top of Julia’s head.

“Yes, he’s my daddy, and don’t tell him I said this but he’s the best daddy in the world!"

Julia sniggered into Jessies side. Then Jessie added something else that blew Julia’s mind.

“I also have two brothers, the oldest one is also called Jeffrey and he’s even bigger than my dad, then my other brother Jason is as big as Dad here. Then I have another sister who is nearly as tall as my dad and she’s called Jacqueline or Jacqui for short. They are the big people in my family, then there is my mother there and Jenna my sister who you’ve already met, and me, we’re the small part of the family, but you know what they always say?”

Julia looked up at Jessie and shook her head.

“They always say the best things come in small packages! Like my Mum, Jenna, me and you!” Julia chuckled.

“Right madam, you need to get some sleep, so let me just get your washcloth so I can give your face a wipe, then we can get ourselves ready for bed.”

After freshening up her face and hands Julia relaxed a bit and started talking to Jen but kept giving me little glances.

Jennifer handed Jessie her overnight bag and told her to get changed ready for bed as Jenna had put some pyjamas in the bag as well as toiletries and a fresh outfit for tomorrow. Jen then sat and talked to Julia while Jess went into the adjoining bathroom and changed into her jammies.

Jess then came out, wearing silky pyjama’s with Disney princesses printed all over them, Jess had more than a little embarrassed smile on her face as she re-entered the room.

“Oh, aren’t they pretty Jess, all those princesses!” exclaimed Jen to an enthralled Julia.

Marie had entered the room from the ward proper and gave Jess a beaming smile of her own.

“I like it! Very nice Jess, I’m glad to see you’ve decided to fit in with the rest of the girls on the ward!”

Through a forced smile Jessie responded, “Thanks Marie, when you get home Mum, tell Jenna I will kill her when I see her in the morning!” which brought smiles to all the rest of us adults.

Marie approached the bed, “Here you are Julia, let’s see if this new face mask fits better and is more comfortable.

Ah, that looks better, hopefully tomorrow we can get by with you just using the little nose pieces and then, with a bit of luck this latest flare-up in your asthma will be over and we can stop using oxygen. Let me just do your Observations while I’m here.”

“Do you have to, it’s all I seem to do is get the machine stuck in my ear and my arm squeezed while that red light is stuck on my finger!”

Jen continued to hug Julia as I helped Jessie sort her bed out.

"I tell you what Julia, just so everything is kept nice and fair, I’ll take Jessie’s readings too if you want?” offered Marie, Jess stood there open mouthed.

“Then we can tell how different they are, and what you need to get to, to be better!”

“That’s a great idea, sit down Jessie, let’s get you comfy on your bed!” I smirked at her knowing she was playing along in order to keep Julia happy, she would give us all a good roasting next time she had us on her own.

Jessie settled into her bed and Marie made a great show of taking her readings and comparing them to Julia’s. Marie frowned a little and reseated the pulse oximeter. She looked at Jessie asked.

“How are you feeling Jessie? Your sats are low, nearly as low as Julia’s actually. In fact wait here a moment!”
and Marie left the room returning moments later with a nasal oxygen distribution tube.

“Just humour me Jessie, it’s a good job you are small and we have a suitable nose tube for you, wear this while you are here, and it’ll keep us both from getting a boll . . . from getting a toasting from Jenna in the morning!”

Before Jessie really knew what was happening, she was lying there looking like a bigger sister to Julia, they were almost two peas in a pod both plumbed into the oxygen system.

Jess was still trying to say this was overkill. Marie did, however, get her to admit that she was feeling a bit more tired than usual, but that it had been a long and stressful day. Marie told her to be a good girl, to shut up and do as she was told, which left Jessie speechless, and Julia giggling.

Jen and I gave both girls a good night kiss and quietly left the room. Jessie and Julia were quietly holding hands.

We spent a few minutes talking to Marie when we heard “Psst!” and Lorna was smiling broadly and waving us over to Julia’s room.

As we quietly looked through the door, Jessie was fast asleep with an equally comatose Julia in her lap, both were under the covers, arms around each other.

We decided that was our cue to leave and go home.

By Iona Laing

Chapter Thirteen – Family Conference.

(Jennifer.)

It was a quiet journey home from the hospital, I don’t think either of us could get past the similarity between Julia and a young Jessie.

Jeff kissed me after locking up and quietly went up to bed, but I couldn’t settle so I sat in the kitchen nursing a cup of tea while I got my thoughts into some sort of order.

Did Jessie appreciate just what she was going to be committing herself to?

Was her heart overriding her head?

Just what would Jessie fostering Julia mean for the rest of our family?

The more I thought about Julia, the more I wondered how I could I bear it if Jessie were unsuccessful in her attempt to offer her a home, could I bear the thought of Julia going back into care?

Also, worryingly, was Jessie’s health going to have an impact on her ability to care for Julia?

What was up with her low sats?

As all these thoughts were revolving around in my brain, I felt hands gently laid on my shoulder, I nearly dropped my mug as I hadn’t heard Jenna come down the stairs nor come up behind me!

“Shit, . . . Bloody hell Jenna, you made me jump!”

“Sorry Mum, didn’t mean to, and language! I take it you can’t sleep either. What did you think of Julia?”

“My mind is spinning so quickly Jenna, I can barely keep up! She’s a damaged soul who has had so much crap piled on her it breaks my heart! I am worried about her, and I am worried about your sister too, when we left, they were both on oxygen as neither of them had great sats!”

“Shit!” muttered Jenna as she was making her own cup of tea.

“Exactly!

I am worried about the pair of them, but to see them together was a humbling experience. Your sister was like a mother hen, and Julia is just besotted with Jessie. It was a mother, daughter relationship, pure and simple.

If they won’t grant Jess temporary custody of Julia, it will likely destroy part of both of them. You know how single-minded Jess can be when she has set her sights on something, she gets tunnel vision.”

“I know Mum, I know.”

“We both realise the crap Jess had to survive when she was growing up has given her a steely resolve to get to where she wants and sod the consequences.

I am worried that Social Services may try to stop her from fostering Julia, then Jess will get angry and potentially make things even more difficult. I know she knows how to play the system. But I am worried that she’ll get her blinkers on and burn bridges before she realises, she’s done it.”

“I take it you two couldn’t sleep either?” said Jeff as he entered the kitchen and slumped into a chair.

“No, so, what do you think of the nights events Dad?”

“I don’t know what to make of things Jenna.

I admit to being shook to my core when I saw Julia. It was like looking back through a time machine, she reminded me of Jessie at that age, same ill pallor, the same big dark eyes, the same grim determination to survive despite everything life throws at her. . . . “

I looked at Jeff and saw he was glassy eyed.

“I am frightened for the pair of them.

Jessie was like a mum, she fussed, she hovered, she did everything she could possibly do.

But then to hear Jessies sats were low was a real kick in my ribs. Julia really thinks Jessie is the best thing to ever enter her life, and sadly, that is likely true enough.

How anyone can be so callous as do abandon her like they did makes my blood boil. Then, when Lorna called us back to see the two of them cuddled up, both fast asleep, both on oxygen, both looking angelic, I nearly cried my eyes out there and then.

We have to find a way to help Jessie ensure Julia’s wellbeing, I just don’t know how. Give me a broken engine and I am in my element, but this care system, I wouldn’t know where to start!”

“I feel the same Jeff, it tore at my soul to see the two of them cuddled up in bed together. There is a famous painting called “The Murder of the Prince’s”, it’s about the missing Princes in the tower, the murdered son’s of Edward IV by James Northcote” and the way Julia and Jessie were sleeping, they had the same peaceful expressions, wrapped in each other’s arms. It was spooky the similarity.

I suppose the powers that be could use that against Jessie saying she is too involved with Julia to make a rational decision. Tell me Jenna, who is this Karen Jessie mentioned earlier?”

“She’s the hospital Social Services co-ordinator. She is likely to be the person charged with finding somewhere to place Julia. Especially being as she’s been dumped back into the system with no warning, it will be the usual N.H.S. cry of getting people out of expensive hospital beds and somewhere else, so the costs for that individual, Julia in this case, is a drain on someone else’s budget.

They’ll also cite bed blocking as an excuse to move people on. It’s a cruel system, but it is what we have to work with at the moment!”

“I expect Jessie is aiming to get to Karen first thing in the morning to stake her claim to being an emergency foster carer for Julia.”

“Yes Mum, knowing Jessie, she’ll be camped outside Karen’s office waiting to get at her before Karen has had chance to take her coat off!”

“So, a bit of diplomacy might be beneficial in this situation?”

“Undoubtedly, don’t get me wrong, Jessie knows the system probably better than I do, but, as we all know how stubborn and bloody minded she gets, particularly if she doesn’t get a favourable response, then I am afraid her maternal instincts will kick in, and a “mother bear protecting her cub” syndrome will not help the situation!”

“Just as I thought! Jeff, I will be a little late getting into the office in the morning, I have a feeling I will be of more use elsewhere at eight o’clock!”

“That’s okay love, I’ll leave a message with Jeff and Jason that we’ll both be late due to unforeseen circumstances.”

Jenna looked at the two of us with a sly smile.

“You two are amazing parents, you know that?

I’ll let Jessie know when I get back on the ward in, . . blimey, four hours, that she can expect reinforcements!”

“Don’t do that Jenna, let it be a surprise, less time for her to feel guilty she’s kept us away from work, we’ll catch her before she gets at Karen!”

“Okay, will do, now that’s settled I shall go and see if I can get a least a couple of hours sleep in, I was desperately trying to work out how I could finagle the time off the ward to go with her to see Karen, now I don’t need to as the cavalry are turning up, mob handed!

I really love you two you know, and Jessie does too!”

With that she gave us both a quick kiss and went back to bed. Jeff and I spent another hour or so talking over how best we could help both Jessie and Julia.

Chapter Fourteen – First efforts at gaining custody.

(Jessie.)

When I woke up my left arm was numb from Julia lying on it, I noticed it was almost six thirty and Jenna would come on shift with her day crew at seven but given how disturbed Julia’s night had been I decided to leave off waking her for the time being.

I must have dozed off as the next thing I knew was the sound of a camera or two clicking away amid a series of muffled laughs from the doorway, as well as one from my shoulder. I opened my eyes and groaned, there stood Jenna and two of her nurses, all with their phones out taking Julia and my photographs.

I was spluttering in indignation, but Julia was almost in hysterics. I felt my face twitch and before too long I too was laughing.

“Come on Julia, budge up, I need the loo before I wet myself”

“Oh no you don’t, you stay there until I can check your sats, yours too Julia!” scolded Jenna.

Fortunately, we were both in what was classed as normal, i.e. ninety five to one hundred percent saturation. So, we both quickly made it to the loo, but not until I had run the gauntlet of “Nice Jammies Jessie, and Oh, look, another Disney princess fanatic!”

“I’ll kill you for this Jenna!” I mumbled under my breath.

“I think they are very pretty pyjama’s Jessie, I wish I had something nice like those, all I have are cheap stuff from the Supermarkets or Primark, and those are hand me downs. I think they make you look even prettier than you already are.” stated Julia with some determination.

“Thank you sweetie, now, you sit in bed and watch the tele while I have a quick shower, then I’ll help you get ready for the day.”

It didn’t take long to get us both washed and dressed, then I got some breakfast into Julia.

“What are you having for your breakfast Jessie? You can have some of mine!” asked Julia proffering me her bowl.

“Well you see sweetie, I am going to have to leave you here in your room for a short while, I have a meeting I have to go to at eight o’clock, so I’ll get myself something from the cafeteria on my way, then, after my meeting I’ll be back here, in the meantime Jenna and her nurses will all keep an eye on you, but I need you to be a good girl for me, okay?”

“But you are coming back, aren’t you?” Julia asked a little fearfully.

I took her hands in mine. “I will be back as quickly as I can.”

“Promise?”

“Yes Julia, I promise I will be back as soon as I can, here, give me your pinkie finger, . . right, I promise you I will be back as soon as I can. Now let me put my face on, I need to make a good impression this morning!”

Julia chuckled, “Put you face on! You’ve already got it on silly!”

“I mean putting on my make-up, I need to look my best for this meeting this morning!”

“Who’s your meeting with that it’s so important?”

“It’s with a lady I know that I want to do me a great big special favour, so, I want to look my best and not look like I have slept most of the night away in a hospital chair with a big lump in my lap!”

“Sorry Jessie!”

“What are you sorry for Julia, you’ve done nothing wrong!”

“But if I hadn’t been such a baby and needed you so much, you could have got a proper night’s sleep in your own bed ready for your important meeting this morning, I hope you don’t get into any trouble because of me!”

“Listen Julia, nothing is more important to me than you, so don’t worry, I just need you to relax and get over this latest setback with your asthma, what will be, will be, so just rest up, do as you’re told and I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay?” Julia nodded, I gave her a quick kiss on the forehead and left her to watch some old Looney Tunes© cartoons that I loved as a kid. Wile E Coyote© falling off a cliff never grows old. I Love to draw and would have loved to have left a legacy of fun and laughter as the great Charles Jones, but such is life.

I made my way to the cafeteria, picked up a Danish pastry and an expresso, I definitely needed the caffeine this morning. I turned to leave and bumped straight into the solid bulk that was my father.

“Sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was go . . . Dad, . . . Mum, what are you two doing here this time of the morning? What are you doing here any time of the day come to think of it? Listen, my sats were okay when Jenna checked them this morning, so there is no need to worry, I am fine, really, I am.”

“We’re sure you are fine Jessie, I doubt Jenna would have let you off the oxygen if you weren’t. No Jessie, we are here to provide what help and reassurance you may need in your meeting with Karen this morning!”

“You’ve come all this way, to help me, and Julia this morning, wow, but what about work?”

“Your father has already spoken to Jeff and Jason and told them we’ll be a bit late getting in!”

“But, . . but I know important the business is to the pair of you, don’t get me wrong, I am blown away that you are here for Julia and me.”

“Family will always be more important than the business, without any shadow of a doubt!” My father said with one hand on my shoulder, I rested my cheek on his huge hand.

“Now missy, sit yourself down, eat your Danish, although I wish you’d have chosen a more substantial breakfast, and an expresso? Honestly Jessie, you worry me, you really do!”

“But Mum!”

“No but Mum me, sit, eat, or do I have to force feed you?”

“But Mum, I have to get to Karen’s office!”

“Jessie, a few minutes either way will not make much difference to your request now, will it?”

“No Mum, I suppose you’re right!”

So, we sat and spoke for a few minutes before we headed off to see Karen, and the sense of impending doom seemed to grow in my insides the closer we got to her office.

We got to the Social Services department, I knocked and went in to find the place was as expected, frantic with activity even this early in the workday, but no sign of Karen at her desk.

Lorraine, one of the other social workers said that Karen had just rushed off to see to an emergency client, but she’d be back shortly, and we could wait if we wanted. So, we sat and twiddled our thumbs, Lorraine called out that Karen was aware we were waiting to see her, and she was on her way back.

Ten minutes later Karen bustled into the office, she looked harassed, with her half-moon glasses hanging from a gold chain around her neck and a pen jammed into her tightly curled hair behind her left ear. She sat at her desk and took a gulp of her obviously cold coffee. Then she stared at me.

“Well Jessie, I haven’t seen you for a while! How are you doing? To what do I owe this visit? It seems you have brought re-enforcements with you, should I be worried?”

“Sorry Karen, this is Jeffrey and Jennifer Jones, also known as my mum and dad, and I’m not one hundred percent sure why they turned up this morning, but never mind, Mum, Dad, this is Karen Haste, who is the main children’s Social Worker for this hospital!”

They exchanged greetings. Karen’s phone rang and she sked Lorraine to take a message and she’d get back to whoever it was shortly.

“Okay Jessie, fire away, what can I do for you?”

“Well Karen, it concerns Julia Jennings up on ward seventeen, the children’s Acute Medical Assessment ward, I wanted to know how difficult it would be for me to become Julia’s temporary emergency foster parent. I know I am single and barely over the minimum age to be a foster carer, but she has struck a nerve with me, and I can’t stand by and do nothing to help her!”

Karen put her half-moon spectacles on her nose, pulled out a fairly thick manilla file which she perused, before sitting back in her chair and studying me with her fingers of both hands interlocked and her thumbs rotating in circles around each other.

“I see Jessie, and how long do you envisage this temporary arrangement to last?”

“Well, Karen, I know it is in your purview to grant orders anywhere from two weeks to two years, I would like it to be as long as possible, depending on both her and I being happy with each other. I know she’s been dumped in your lap unannounced and so close to Christmas too, I expect you’ll be struggling to find somewhere prepared to cope with her health complications, but I am ready to offer her somewhere warm, somewhere safe, somewhere stable, and somewhere where she will be loved.”

“Karen gave me a long look again.

Tell me Jessie, you are a single young woman, yes?”

“That’s right, I’m single with no romantic entanglements!”

“Hmmm, you do realise that being in effect a young, single mum, will not make any social situations easy, you won’t be able to go off drinking and clubbing at the drop of a hat!”

“With respect Karen, I have thought this through, yes, I am young, single, and yes Julia will radically impact my life, I won’t be able to go gadding about like a lot of people my age, but then, I don’t do that anyway. I feel Julia will enhance my life in more ways than she will adversely affect it!” I felt my mother put her hand on my arm and gently squeeze it.

“What about all her health restrictions?”

“What about them?”

“How will you cope with a youngster with severe respiratory problems, plus her dietary restrictions, her lack of social interaction with others, I have just been up to see her, and she barely said two words to me the whole time I was there!”

I was getting more than a little snarky. My mothers grip tightened even more.

“Karen, I know more than most what living with a sick child entails! I was born four weeks prematurely and I have had respiratory problems all my life, plus I have had other significant ailments requiring surgery, so, I know first-hand what being a sick child feels like, I also observed from my parents and other family members what caring for such a child costs in terms of the love, devotion and commitment it takes, I spent a good chunk of my younger life in this very hospital.

Observing everything I went through led my sister into a career in nursing and me into my position as a play specialist, trying to help sick kids cope with the fear being in a place like this causes. Julia didn’t ask to be abandoned with the health problems she has, but that doesn’t mean people should not come forward to help her out of the crap that is her life, I want to be that person!”

Karen smiled at me.

“Relax Jessie, I just wanted to push you to see how hard you had actually thought this whole situation through, honestly, I am impressed you are so willing to not only talk the talk, but walk the walk too, or whatever the saying is.

So, Mum, Dad, what do you think of your daughters hairbrained scheme?”

Mum relaxed her grip.

“When Jessie first proposed this idea, I was more than a little surprised.

I know Jess has dealt with some heartbreaking and traumatic experiences in her time at the hospital. But Julia has struck a raw nerve with her.

Jess has had to fight her entire life, with her health limitations, with others abuse and teasing, even a violent assault that nearly killed her, but I am so proud of her, she never backed down, she never gave in, she has a heart of gold and a backbone of steel. I have learned that when she says she’s going to do something then I know she will do it to the absolute best of her ability.”

“Dad?”

“I agree, we have five children, and we love them equally, we’re proud of their achievements, but of the five Jess has had the hardest life of them all.

I cannot emphasise just how proud we are of her and the battles she has fought. She see’s a kindred spirit in Julia, and to be honest, we do too. We saw Julia fleetingly last night and it shocked the pair of us how much Julia resembled Jess at that age. So, you could say, we’ve all been there, we’ve got the ‘t’ shirt, we know what to expect, we’re not novices at this!”

“And what will your other children think of Jessie becoming a foster parent?”

“Will they be initially surprised, yes, obviously, but they will back Jessie one hundred percent, absolutely. We already have four grandchildren, one more will just slot right in, no worries!”

“Okay Jessie, if I grant your request and get you accepted as a foster parent for Julia, where do you see this going? Assuming she’s with you for two weeks, two months or the full two years, what do you envisage will happen in this time?”

“Well Karen, if we are both happy with each other, and both she and my family get on, then I hope that, well before the two years are up that she would have become my daughter legally and I would have adopted her, Julia told me that she doesn’t know her father and that her mother is dead but I don’t know if that is true”

“Sadly Jess, that is correct. Her birth certificate is blank as to the fathers’ details. Her mother had developed substance abuse problems, which in turn may have contributed to Julia suffering the ailments she does. Her mother died about eighteen months or so ago from a drugs overdose. Julia’s mothers’ parents know of her existence but want nothing to do with her. They belong to some religious sect and disowned their daughter when she fell pregnant. They disowned their daughter and their grandchild too, in fact we were told if we ever contacted them again, we would face legal action for harassment. So, Julia, through no fault of her own is all alone in the world.

She has been passed from pillar to post but with no constancy in her life. In fact, before you came to see me, the nearest placement I could find for her was over one hundred and twenty miles away. Not that that means a lot to Julia, as she barely knows anyone that well around here.

Now Jess, what about you? What about your dreams and aspirations, what about having a family of your own, getting married, giving birth to your own baby? Where does Julia fit in with your plans?”

“Karen, I don’t really have any dreams like that. Look, I was born intersexed, and although I am genetically, anatomically female and quite capable of having my own children, I fear most men will run a mile rather than be associated with someone like me. If I did meet someone but they were not prepared to accept Julia as part of the package, then that would be that, the relationship would be dead and buried.

Before you ask, no, this isn’t me using Julia as a surrogate child either, I wouldn’t do that, I just see someone who is so like I was, it is scary. I was lucky to have a family that loved me and stood by me; I want to be that family for Julia.

So Karen, I have laid my cards out on the table, what are the chances of me being given responsibility for Julia?”

“Well Jess, ordinarily I would say okay, thank you for your kind offer, now go away, think about it some more, then come back and see me next week. Sadly, in Julia’s case we don’t have the luxury of that much time. And knowing of you, your sister and now meeting your parents I can tell you have the support you will need. It won’t be plain sailing for either you or Julia, I am warning you there will be ups and downs, but then that is true if you had given birth to Julia yourself. So, I shall run it past my boss, but unless something miraculous happens between now and lunchtime I think we’ll get you to sign the paperwork to get you registered as Julia’s parent.

But, Jessie, please love, don’t give up on the rest of the human race, I am sure you will find someone who will make you happy and accept Julia as part of their family unit too. Leave me your mobile details and I’ll ring you shortly, okay?”

“Thank you Karen, I have been so stressed over this meeting since first deciding to seek to care for Julia, I shall wait for your call.” I shook her hand and gave her a heartfelt hug and the three of us left her office.

Once out in the corridor I collapsed in my mother’s arms and cried my eyes out, I should have known wearing mascara was a mistake, as both of us looked like pandas!

“Come on love, lets nip in the ladies and sort our faces out, then we’ll go back to the cafeteria and get something more substantial into you before you go back to the ward.”

Eventually Mum and dad went off to work with me promising to ring them as soon as I knew anything.

I made it to the ward, to see Jenna flying past to see to a patient, she gave me a questioning glance, I rocked my hands from side to side to signify things were “so, so” then I held up both hands with my fingers crossed. I then went into Julia’s room; to find she was free from the oxygen mask although it was draped over the bed head.

“Jessie, you came back!” she hugged me tightly.

“I promised you I would didn’t I, and I told you I always keep my promises, so here I am! So, no oxygen mask now?”

“No, Jen said she wanted to see how my sats were by myself, she’s nice, I like her, she explains stuff so I can understand! Come sit by me Jessie and I can read to you. Jessie, are you sad, you’ve been crying!”

“I am fine Julia, what makes you think I have been crying?”

Julia carefully studied my face.

“Well, your make-up is different to when you left here earlier this morning, your eyes are red and puffy, and you have little drops of make-up on your blouse!”

I laughed, “I can’t get anything past you, can I? They were tears of relief and hope Julia, but I’ll tell you more a bit later, now what’s this book?”

“I don’t know, other than it was ordered from the library by Jen, she said it was one of your favourites when you were my age, it’s called “S, s, swallows and Ama, ama, amazons” all I know it’s about boats and children, I thought it was about birds and parcels to start with, but Jenna said I would like it, was it really one of your favourites?”

“I loved all these books Julia, I still have the full set at home. There’s a whole series by the same author, Arthur Ransome, using most of the same characters. Like you, I spent a lot of time in hospital, and I used to dream of being well enough to do the same things the children in the books did. Come on then, let’s get comfy, and you can read to me!”

I spent the rest of the morning with Julia and some of the other kids keeping them, and myself occupied, then after lunch they settled down for a short nap. I fiddled with my phone willing it to ring, and at the same time dreading when it would.

Julia wanted to read more of the book, then two chapters later, my phone went, when I saw the caller I.D. I was nearly sick with nerves!

By Iona Laing

Chapter Fifteen - The dream becomes a reality!

(Jessie.)

“Ok Julia, please scoot off for a minute sweetheart, I need to take this call, I won’t be more than a few minutes!”

“Hi Karen, just a moment please!”

I just needed to get out of earshot of Julia.

“Okay Karen, thanks for ringing back so quickly, what news do you have for me?” I glanced up and saw Julia had opened the door to her room just a crack.

I walked out onto the ward proper and headed to the nurse’s station. The ward clerk pulled a chair our for me and rubbed my back as I listened to Karen.

“Okay Jessie, I’ve spoken to both area managers, and their views were a little conflicting if I am honest. Donna, my immediate boss didn’t see any problem with granting you temporary care of Julia and was all set to sign off on your application.

However, her boss, Stephen, was dead set against it, but he wouldn’t say why. He’s a right pain in the proverbial and it has taken a bit of digging to come to some understanding as to why he was so set against granting you custody. Tell me Jessie, what does the surname Paterson mean to you?”

“Paterson, oh my God, Paterson, that’s a name I have not heard of for a long time. There used to be a Stuart Paterson who was a headmaster at the school I went to. Blimey Karen, I haven’t thought of him for a long, long time, and to do so causes me real , . . oh my God . I, . . I . . Can’t he ever leave me alone”

Jenna snatched the phone from my hands as I silently wept at all the memories that came crashing back into the forefront of my mind, Sarah the ward clerk took my in her arms and held me tightly.

(Jenna.)

“Hi Karen, what’s going on, Jessie is besides herself, has she been refused custody because…”

“Jenna, Jenna, please let me explain okay. I was just telling Jessie that I had conflicting instructions from two of my managers. Donna, you know Donna Smith? . . yeah, well she was all set to sign off on Jessies application to become Julia’s care provider. But then one of the big wigs stuck his oar in and tried to derail the whole process!”

“But why?”

“He wouldn’t say, just he wasn’t going to allow a young girl to fall in the clutches of that bitch, were his exact words, then, as he was walking away, I overheard him saying “I’ll get back at that f**king freak!” See, it pays to have the ears of a bat at times, so Donna and I did a bit of digging as this seemed to be a personal attack on your sister at the expense of Julia.

I asked Jessie if the name Paterson meant anything to her, and that is when she couldn’t speak to me any longer. I am almost to your ward, give me ninety seconds and we can continue this face to face!” then Karen hung up, I just stared at the handset in some confusion.

Sarah continued to comfort Jessie and all sorts of emotions washed over me, loathing, disgust and hatred being amongst the predominant ones, no wonder Jessie was disconsolate.

Jessie appeared to be heartbroken, but just as I was to take over comforting her from Sarah, I almost got knocked over by a pocket battleship in the form of Julia.

“Jessie, . . . Jessie . . . don’t cry, please Jessie, . . . don’t cry, everything will be alright, you’ll see, . . . come on Jessie, . . . smile for me please!”

How did this kid get to be so smart and compassionate?

Karen walked into the ward at that moment, upon seeing Julia comforting Jessie she gave a real tender smile, not often associated with people working within the Social Services hierarchy.

“That’s very sweet of you Julia, I am sure Jessie loves having your help, but can you give Jessie, Jenna and myself a few minutes together while we sort a few things out, Then I am sure Jessie will come back to you shortly, okay?”

Julia gave Karen a dubious glance, then after staring up at me, she took Jessies head in her hands and kissed her forehead. Jessie gave her a half smile and patted Julia’s backside as she went back to her room. But I noticed Julia continued to observe proceedings from a crack in her door, so the three us retired to my office.

“I must apologise Jessie” said Karen as soon as I had closed my office door, “I knew the name would bring back painful memories, but I never dreamt it would have such a profound effect on you and I am deeply sorry for my lack of tact.”

“Well, that’s it then, isn’t it, it’s all over, if there is a Paterson involved in the decision making process I am screwed, or more importantly, Julia is, for something that happened to me years ago. It’s not f**king fair, it’s not f**king fair!” and Jess slumped over my desk sobbing. My blood was boiling, and I was about to explode. But Karen continued to speak.

“No Jessie, it’s not all over, not by a bloody long shot it’s not all over, please listen to me.

Donna and I realised this was a personal vendetta of some kind and we wanted to get to the bottom of it as quickly as possible, as time is of the essence. So, we both hit the phones and called in a few favours to work out what was going on behind our backs, Paterson is a sneaky bastard, we just didn’t realise just how deep his unpleasantness ran, but we think it is starting to become clearer as the hours pass.

The upshot of this morning’s shenanigans is that Mr Stephen Paterson has been suspended pending a full investigation.

He was universally disliked within the department, but the main thing is his link to you two. He was the younger brother of Stuart Paterson, your former headmaster and given what happened to you, he should have removed himself from any decision-making process on the grounds of previous contact.

I don’t know how much you knew at the time, but Stuart was found to have installed mini cameras in the showers of both the girls and boys changing area’s at your school. He also molested some of the boys entrusted to his care. It transpired he had thousands of obscene images of children on several computers which he was selling all over the world.

However, after your attack and the world was crashing down around his ears, he decided to turn Queens evidence for reduced charges and a softer prison existence, so he testified for the prosecution in the attempted murder trial which resulted from the attack on you. Knott, his nephews and their cohorts are serving long prison sentences still, but Paterson secured a shorter sentence and at a minimum-security prison. This was subsequently downgraded to an open prison with various restrictions, but, still, it was a cushy number.

Sadly, one of the fathers of a couple of your former classmates, who was a man of dubious means and was also a resident within Her Majesties penal establishment, was diagnosed with terminal cancer. This man was transferred to the same open prison, and he recognised Paterson, who was lording it over his fellow inmates, boasting of all the money he was amassing ready for when he was eventually released. It seemed, somehow, the pictures he had squirreled away were still being sold to paedophiles all over the world. They may be crooks, but most crooks are loving fathers too, and this man decided enough was enough, and he murdered your old headmaster.

The suspicion is that the younger brother, Stephen was the front man of the Paterson’s operation, but that is conjecture on our part, the police have raided his office and taken away several computers, they are busy going through his house as we speak and he is, as the police like to say, helping them with their enquiries!” But it seems he bore a grudge, and today was his way of hitting back at you and those he seemed to have held responsible for his brother’s death."

Jess was frantically mopping her eyes, mascara all over her cheeks again.

“But, . . but, . . I didn’t even know the headmaster had died, what role does he think Julia played in all this? Did you know he’d been murdered Jenna?”

‘Oh shit!’ time for honesty!

“Yes Jess, I knew, we all did, but it coincided with the last time you were admitted to hospital just before your final exams at Uni. We had a family conference, and we were so worried about you, that we decided to not mention anything. If you picked it up from the tv, radio or newspapers, then yes, we would have come clean about events, but you never mentioned it and there never seemed a good time to tell you, and, at the end of the day, it made little difference to your daily existence, until today. To be honest it had drifted from the forefront of our minds.

I am so sorry Jessie, we weren’t trying to keep you in the dark permanently, it may have been such that, if this other Paterson hadn’t stuck his nose in where it was not wanted, then who knew when or even if we would have remembered you were out of the loop.”

I had rested my hand on Jessies shoulder, she placed her hand on mine and squeezed it in understanding. “I am really sorry Jess!”

“So, Karen, now that toe rag is out of the decision-making process, what does this all mean regarding Jessies request to become Julia’s carer.”

Karen smiled at the two of us.

“Well, Jess, if you will sign and date here under my signature . . . , excellent, and Jenna, if you will sign and date in the section under Jessies. . . brilliant, then this formally acknowledges Jessies appointment as Julia’s foster carer. It is initially for a period of three months, then, following an inspection into how the arrangements are working out, it will become an open-ended agreement until such time one or other party decides it isn’t working out, or it is superseded by an adoption order. Now, I will need to undertake a home inspection before such time as Julia formally moves in, however, given the support network that seems to exist within the Jones family dynamic, I doubt this will be a problem.”

“Is that it, you mean I can have her, I can be her foster mum?”

“Yes Jessie, she is all yours, and I hope you will both be very, QUICK JENNA, CATCH HER, SHE’S PASSING OUT!” yelled Karen. I just caught Jessie enough that I ended on my back with Jessie, like a sack of potatoes on top of me, then my office door burst open with Nancy one of my nurses and Sarah carrying in our emergency oxygen equipment, hotly pursued by Julia who was having a mini breakdown of her own!

“What’s wrong, what’s wrong with Jessie, why is she asleep, you can’t let her die, you can’t, she’s my friend, I need her, I need her, . . . I need her, . . I know, I’ll get one of those heart thingies, a defimaincubator, no that’s not right, it’s a, . . a . . “

“Relax Julia, relax sweetheart, Jessie just got some good news, some really good news that has caused her system to overload. She’s been under a lot of stress lately, so her mind has sent her to have a little nap for a while, but she will wake up soon I promise Julia, she’ll be as right as ninepence, she’ll be a little tired and may need another snooze, but for now Julia, please sweetie, let us just check her over.

While we’re doing that, can you go into your room and make up Jessie’s bed for me, then we can bring her in and she can rest up with you, will you do that for me Julia?”

However, when I looked up, Julia had gone, then just as Jessie was coming back to join the land of the living Julia was back.

“Shall I get her pretty jammies out too?”

“Yes Julia, I think that will be a very good idea, don’t . . you?” But Julia had already gone again.

Through the face mask delivering oxygen, Jessie smiled at Karen.

“Thank you so very much Karen, this means so much to me I cannot explain in words how happy you have made me, but even more importantly it will mean even more to Julia, I promise you Karen, I will not let you down!”

Karen hugged Jessie.

“I know you won’t Jessie!

You can get very jaded in this line of work. It is demoralising more often than not, carers and kids often don’t get on for a variety of reasons, often the kids are in care through no fault of their own, like your Julia, others are like the old joke, they are from broken homes, mainly because they broke them, others have parents who should never have been parents in the first place, but sometimes, this job throws you something that goes a little towards restoring your faith in human nature. And that’s what you and your family have done today. It gives you a boost in life in general but it recharges your batteries so you can tackle the next seemingly insurmountable problem!”

Nancy and I had Jessie strapped to into a wheelchair and ready to take her over too Julia’s room. I didn’t think she needed to be fed through the A&E system, but I would get one of the passing registrars to give her the once over a little later!

“Thanks for everything Karen, if you give our house a ring, that’s the number, our parents are there along with Cheryl and Denise, our sisters in law, they been there all day. Our sister Jacqui and her partner Deborah will be going over tonight after work to get it all ready for Julia.

Stop twisting Jess or I’ll stick a neck brace on you to go with your oxygen mask, so sit there like a good little girl and behave yourself! And I might let you have some ice-cream later!"
I patted her on the head; I was so going to pay for this at some point in the future!

"They’re not redecorating as they know from living with Jessie that respiratory conditions and paint fumes are not a healthy mix, but they have been giving it a thorough cleaning, not that it needed much, plus they have been getting a few things in for Julia, as she doesn’t have a lot, and what she does have is fit for nothing but rags, not to cast aspersions but I reckon the funds that should have been spent on Julia have been going elsewhere and she’s been palmed off with second-hand, hand me downs.

She won’t be a spoiled little madam, none of us were, but some money will be spent on her. She not only has Jessie and myself now, but two grandparents, four great grandparents, two uncles, four aunties and four cousins in her family unit, we know to take it all softly, softly and not swamp her, but I am sure she has landed on her feet this time, and the sad specimens of the human race who dumped her so unceremoniously back on the system don’t know what a favour they have done for her in the long run. I hope they can look themselves in the eye with a clear conscience, and sadly, I think they probably will.”

“Thanks girls, I’ll probably be able to hear when you break the good news to Julia. I’ll ring your parents now as I head back to the office. I’ll stay in touch, Byeee!” and with that Karen left the ward.

“Right madam, you have some news to break to a little lady who is worried to death about you, so come on, do as you are told and no complaints, do you hear me Jessie?” All I could hear were gentle mumbles under her breath.

Nancy and I got Jessie into Julia’s room. Julia bless her was practically bouncing on the toes of her feet. “Oh Jessie, Jessie, I was so worried about you!”

Julia and Abbie one of the ward auxiliaries had both beds neatly made, with the adjoining sides turned down, draped across Jessies bed were her Disney® jammies.

“Right Jessie, I don’t want you keeling over again, so you can co-operate and change into your pyjamas and get into bed then tell Julia what is going on, or, I will ban you from her room and get Mum to come and fetch you, and you know she’ll be constantly on at you, so what’s it to be?”

Jess half glowered at me but didn’t complain too much, which is always a sure-fire indicator as to how tired she is. So, with a little help, or hindrance in reality from Julia and myself, we had her tucked up into her reclining chair cum bed.

Julia looked at me, asking permission to climb on Jessies lap. I nodded.

“Try not to lean on her chest too much Julia, she has a lot of things to explain, and she’ll find it easier if she can breathe without being squashed. Now I am going to put you both on oxygen as you both look like you need it not just Jessie. Right, I will give you both nose clips, it’ll make it easier for you to talk, but I am going to prop the door open, so I can hear if either of you needs one of us to come in, okay?”

They both nodded and as much as I was desperate to be a fly on the wall, I didn’t think it was going to take a genius to work out when Jessie gave Julia the news.

Chapter Sixteen – Julia finds her dream comes true!

(Jessie.)

Julia sat on my lap studiously avoiding leaning on me as Jenna had asked, the poor soul looked half frightened to death with her eyes constantly flicking from one of my own eyes to the other.

“Come here and give me a hug!”

“No, Jenna said I mustn’t lean on you and I don’t want to make you poorly or they won’t let you stay in our room!”

“Jenna’s not here, and I need a hug!”

“No Jenna’s not in the room but I am listening to what is going on, and you can stop pulling your tongue out at me Jessie, I know you too well!”

Julia chuckled because at that very moment I did indeed have my tongue pulled out.

“Come here Julia, never mind what little Miss Bossy Boots says.”

“I heard that too!” called Jenna.

“Good, you were supposed to!

Here Julia, slide your side under my arm so you are leaning more on the chair than me, then I can get on with telling you what is going on. Give me a hug. You comfy? Good, that makes two of us.

Now, you will have noticed that there has been a lot going on this morning and into the early afternoon. Yes?”

I felt Julia nod.

“Well, first thing this morning, I made formal enquiries about me becoming your foster carer, at least short term. Do you understand what that means?”

Julia sat up and looked at me with a somewhat dazed expression on her face; she had a smile that was accompanied by what I hoped were happy tears.

“That is, if you would be happy for me to be your foster mum, you don’t have to let me if you don’t want me to, you know, to be your foster Mum that is!”

“Stroll on Jessie, let the girl get a word in edgeways will you, or I’ll come in there and gag you!”

“Mind your own beeswax Jenna, I just don’t want to.”

Several voices called out simultaneously, “Shut up Jessie!”

“Honestly, you asked if you could become my foster mum?”

“I did, do you remember me saying I had an important meeting at eight o’clock this morning?”

Julia sat up even straighter and started bouncing up and down in my lap.

“What did they say? What did they say, did they say yes, please let them say yes, I would be such a good girl for you Jessie, I would honestly, I would be neat and tidy, I wouldn’t be noisy, oh please let them say yes!”

“Eventually, they said yes!”

At this point I feared I had lost the hearing in my right ear, possibly permanently with the squeal Julia emitted. She grabbed tightly onto my neck and repeatedly kissed my face, wailing how happy she was, both sets of nose clips were hanging off by this point! She repeated, through her tears, how lucky she was and how she would be the best little girl it would be possible for her to be. Then she stopped and stared at me intently.

“You do mean it don’t you, you’re not teasing me, some of my other foster carers have said before, that I was going to be adopted by someone rich, and when I got excited, they would say they were only joking. I would cry, and they would laugh until I got angry, then they would tell the Social Worker I was not nice!

“Look at me Julia, have I teased or tormented you?”

She shook her head.

“If I told you I was going to try my best, then that is what I have done. People who play those kinds of nasty jokes on others are not nice people at all and should not be allowed to have anything to do with children, or even other adults. That is spiteful behaviour, and it makes me so angry that folk think they can get away with that.

Now, I promise you Julia, on a pinkie finger promise, that first thing this morning I went to the office to enquire about becoming your foster mum, and I was so determined to make a proper case to be allowed to take you, that my Mummy and Daddy, who you met last night, came with me, because they knew how important this was to me but also, even more so, how important this was for you.

Now, it took a lot of people a lot of time to decide, that if this is something that you wanted, then they would make it happen. And not long ago I found out that the people in charge of your wellbeing thought that I would be a good person to look after you. But this has to be something you want Julia! If you decide now, or later that you didn’t like me anymore, or you no longer wanted to live with me, then that would be your decision for you to make, and no matter whether I liked that decision or not, then that was it, this has to be what you want, this is important because this is your life, your happiness, so do you understand?"

She nodded vigorously, her huge eyes glistening.

"Now, Julia Juliete Jennings, would you like to be my foster daughter?”

She threw her arms around my neck again.

“Yes, Yes, YES!”

All I could hear from outside the room was applause.

How long will you be my foster mum?” she asked hesitantly, looking closely at my face.

“To start with, for three months, so that takes us to the middle of March next year.”

“Then what happens?”

“We get a visit from Social Services, then if everyone is happy, the time span is extended to two years!”

“So, at the end of two years, you will give me back?” she asked, more than a little afraid.

“No Julia, of course not, I assume I could reapply to be your carer, or perhaps you might have been adopted by then!”

“No one would want to adopt a poor little sick freak like me!”

That very nearly broke my heart but also pissed me off big time and I finally understood what it did to my Mum when I would use the same phrase.

“Now Julia, you and me are going to have a falling out if you call yourself a poor sick freak, I have told you once, I will not tell you this again Julia, you are not to call yourself that. It is wrong and it is hurtful, because if that term applies to you, then it applies to me too, and I had too many people calling me names like that when I was your age.

I decided no-one was ever going to get away with using those words to describe me ever again, so, I don’t ever want to hear you using those words about yourself, or anyone else for that matter ever again.

Besides, I may well decide to adopt you, if that is what we both want!”

Julia stared at me completely speechless, just as she was about to ask me something else Jenna stuck her head in the room.

“Blow me Jessie, I thought you were trying to talk her out of it the way you were going on, and on, and on!

Anyway, the two of you have a couple of visitors, bearing gifts too, I don’t know, there’s me doing all the work in this family, and there’s you two lounging about in bed, yet you get all the visitors and all the pressies”

Then in walked Jacqueline and Deborah, laden down with bags from some of the better stores in town. I don’t know why but they both had stunned expressions.

“I am not being awkward, but I can only let you have fifteen to twenty minutes, as you can see, both girls are well knackered in medical jargon!” Jenna said quietly, but not quietly enough. I didn’t think Julia looked that bad, then I realised the three were looking more pointedly at me!

(Jacqueline.)

I could not believe how like a young Jessie Julia looked despite having been warned by my Mum how uncanny the resemblance was, but what was also worrying was how drained and worn-out Jessie looked, it really frightened me, and I could sense Debbie tensing up too.

Julia lent more into Jessie as her natural shyness began to manifest itself in front of us, two complete strangers, but Jessie sat her upright and made the introductions.

“Ladies, this little madam trying to hide under my side, is none other than the world-famous Julia!

Julia, the beautiful lady on our right, is my older, but not by much, (I have to say that, it’s in my contract!) sister, Jacqueline Jennifer. so just like my sister, me and you, both her names start with a J, and the beautiful lady sat next to her is her life partner Deborah Janet, so she has to make do with just the one J, but we try not to make her feel too bad about that.

But, now Julia, this is very important, if you ever want to know if true love exists, like they talk about in the fairytales, you know, like Sleeping Beauty or Cinderella, you just have to look at Jacqui and Deborah. Do you know they met on their very first day at school when they were just five years old? And they have been together every day since. They have known Jenna and I since the very day either of us were born. They are my best friends, next to Jenna. They are who I most wanted to be like when I grew up! I hope one day, if I fall in love like they have, that I love my partner like they love one another.”

Deborah looked at me, and it was obvious that both of us were having slight problems seeing the other clearly due to a film of tears.

“So how are you feeling Julia, knowing that Jessie wants to care for you as your new foster Mum?”

“Okay, . . . I . . I think she is very special, . . she’s very beautiful, . . I am amazed she asked to be my foster mum!”

“Well, we think she’s very special too, what is even more amazing is how much you look like Jessie did when she was your age. Now, before we get thrown out by our stroppy sister, we have a few gifts for you and some shopping for the pair of you.

Deborah picked up the bag at her feet.

“Now Julia, Jacqui and I were told that most of your clothes were worn out, fit only to be used as rags, so we have got you a few bits and bobs of new clothes until you can get out of hospital and your Mum can take you both shopping, then you can get a few things that you can chose for yourself. But for tonight, we have got you a really pretty silky nighty, it has Elsa and Anna on from Disney’s® Frozen."

The delight on Julia’s face was stunning, she was wide eyed with a smile that almost split her face in two.

“And just to make Jessies day, we got her one the same too! So, when you go to sleep tonight, you’ll match, and I pulled an identical nighty from the bag at my feet”

The look on Jessies face was equally stunning, but from different reasons no doubt, she just sat there shaking her head.

Jess worried me. We all spoke for a while, with Julia slowly thawing to the two of us. We pulled loads of underwear, tops, a couple of pairs of jeans, some Velcro fastening trainers in case we got the sizes wrong. A couple of stuffed animals, all hypoallergenic, to prevent either of them from having an asthma attack due to the stuffing being suspect. A couple of colouring books with some fancy pencils as well as a couple of reading books including a new copy of Swallows and Amazons. Neither of us thought Julia had ever seen so many new items for her in her life. She would not be spoilt, but this girl deserved some treats, that was certain.

Jess was definitely flagging. Jenna came in seeing my expression through the doorway, “Okay you, back on the oxygen.” Jen gave me a glance to say to hurry things along as she fiddled with the flow rate meter behind Jessies head. Jess didn’t argue, she hadn’t the energy.

Deb gave Julia a big smile and asked her “So sweetie, do you like your new clothes and toys?”

“Oh yes, they are beautiful, thank you so much, are you sure they are all for me? I have never seen so many new things in my life!”

“Do you think we have your sizes right? Do you think you know me well enough to let me help you try a few of the things on, just to check the fit, we had to guess based on your Granny’s best estimate?”

Julia looked at Jess for her approval, Jess nodded and smiled, so Julia and Deb headed into the bathroom nattering away like they had known each other for more than just a relatively few short minutes. Deb would make a great Mum, in spite of her natural reticence we soon heard chuckles coming from the ensuite bathroom.
I scooted to Jessies side.

“Now talk to me honestly Sis, how are you feeling, and none of the “I’m fine” crap, because it is obvious to a one-legged man in an arse kicking contest that you are anything but well, I’ve not seen you looking this ropey in a long, long time, if ever! So what gives?” Jess looked towards the loo then out towards the ward. She sighed and slumped.

“I don’t know Jacqui, I am feeling rough, I presume I am just suffering from the stress of the last thirty-six hours or so. But I’ve been feeling more tired of late, I am shattered, my sats are fluctuating I know, but I don’t know why, but Jac, I will NOT allow my health problems to stand in the way of getting Julia away from here and into a stable environment. She has been through all kinds of shit Jac, and I am not prepared for that to continue. No matter the cost!”

I took Jessies hands in mine.

“I know she has been through all kinds of crap Jess, but so have you!”

I know Jacqui, but I had a family, she doesn’t, and, I will get her into a family, our family, if it kills me!”

Jess had a single tear run down her cheek.

“But that’s just it Jess, if you don’t slow down, and look after yourself, this drive, this crusade you are on, no matter how noble, could end up doing just that, it could very easily take you to a point where it does indeed kill you, and where do you imagine that leaves Julia then? How do you think she’s going to feel if you have rescued her and killed yourself in the process!”

Neither of us noticed Julia coming into the room to show us one of the dresses we’d got her. She looked horrified. Me and my big mouth strike again!

“NO, I’m NOT going, take all this back. NO, NO, I’m not going, not if I am making Jessie ill, I’m NOT going, I am not worth it, all of you just go, just f**k off, leave me alone!” She threw herself on the bed and cried into the blanket.

Deb stared at me looking as crestfallen as I felt.

Jessie lent forward and tapped Julia forcefully on her back, Jessie was not happy with me that was for certain, but it was too late to change what had been said at that point.

Then “Mum” Jessie spoke as Jenna, Deb and I looked on.

“Look at me Julia!”

“No, go away! I am a bad person!”

Jessie channelled that inner Mum we all had, I had just not heard her say it so forcefully.

“JULIA, I SAID LOOK AT ME! . . . Now, . Good, . First off, you will not swear like that again. Now you listen to me, I am not walking away from you, it’s not happening sweetheart, it’s not even an option.”

Jess was gasping , sucking the oxygen through her nose clips, Jenna tried to substitute these for a full face mask but Jess wasn’t having any of it.

“Not now Jen!"

Jen looked closely at Jessie then nodded as she was called back to the ward.

"Now Julia, I signed to say I took responsibility for you about an hour ago, not only that, Jenna witnessed my signature, so to walk away from you would make liars out of the two of us and we are not liars, we’ve proved that to you haven’t we?

Now Julia, like it or lump it, you are mine, yes, I am going to have to rest up a bit because we have been put through hell this last day and a half. But, Julia, once we both get the okay, that it is safe for us to go home, then BOTH of us are going home together, you got it?”

Julia climbed off the bed, walked gingerly over to Jessie and looked at her closely before she seemed to sag.

“But Jessie, I don’t want you to die because of me, I’m not worth it Jessie, I’m not!”

Jessie looked at her and wiped the tears from Julia’s face with her thumbs and held onto her head with both hands.

“Well, that’s where we’ll agree to differ. You are eight, you are a child, you are in my care, I will not give up on you.

Now listen to me, in spite of what you may have overheard, adults have a way of saying things that sound different, usually much more dramatic than what a child understands those words to mean. I promise you, on a pinkie swear, that I want to live to be a little old lady. I am not trying to kill myself on your behalf. I want to see you go to school, I want to see you grow into a young woman, I want to see you have a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, it doesn’t matter, I want to see you go to university if that is what you want to do, I want to see you get married, if you find someone special and that is what you want to do. The way I spoke those words you overheard means that I am just very determined to see you have a better life than the one you have had so far.

I am stubborn, even more stubborn than you. So, it was a stupid use of words, I should have known you could have overheard, and I apologise Julia, I did not mean to scare you. It’s just that we are all learning how to live together, to get on together, to understand each other. But never, ever, doubt for one minute that I, nor Jenna, nor Jacqui nor Deborah nor any of our family love you. We will always be there for you. Do you understand me so far?”

She gave me a tear-stained nod.

“But you know what Julia, I need your help to let me see all these things. I need you to tell me if I am overdoing things, just like my mother, my dad, my brothers and most certainly my sisters do. Debs, in spite of only having the one name with a J is my sister, and she has told me off as often as Jacqui and Jenna.

But Julia, you are so worth fighting for. But I agree, this has taken a lot out of me, so I need you to look after me, as well looking after yourself. Do you understand? You are important to all of us,

Now Julia, let’s see your new dress, although you have crumpled it a bit, . . . oh yes, very, very nice, I hope you thanked Deborah?”

Deborah smiled at Jessie and gave Julia a tender hug.

“She was very polite Jess, couldn’t stop saying thank you in fact, that and she kept staring at herself in the mirror, very like her new Mum used to when she was little and to be honest still does to this day when she thinks no one is watching!”

Julia spoke in an absent minded manner as she studied her reflection, “When the lady from the Social Services used to bring me something new, after she’d gone, my foster carers would take it from me, whatever it was, then tell me it was too good for the likes of me and I would get their kids cast offs, so everything in that bag belonged to their kids first!”

Julia said that into the mirror as she rocked from side to side. I could see both Debs and Jess getting irate.

“Debs, can you take Julia out onto the ward so she can show Jenna and the nurses her new dress?”

Debbie picked up on the vibe in the room.

“Of course, Jac, come on Julia, let’s go show everyone how posh you look.”

I knelt in front of Jessie and reached out to hug her. I locked my arms around her shoulders; she reached behind me and brought her arms up my back with her hands resting on the top of my shoulders. I could feel her shaking under my grip and all I could hear between her sobs was her muttering “The bastards!” over and over again.

“I know Jess, I know, but she’s away from that now isn’t she, this is a wonderful thing you are doing, but you have to relax, you HAVE to get well and just go with the flow.

She needs you, a healthy you! Listen to yourself, you are gasping, breathe in through your nose Jess, out through your mouth, come on Jess, sniff that oxygen in, if you don’t, they’ll make you wear a face mask, they might even decide to admit you to the adult ward if you can’t get your breathlessness under control, that’ll worry all of us, but Julia most of all, so come on Jess, in through your nose, that’s it, and again, . . . and again . . . and again.”

“Thank you Dr Jones!” came from the doorway as Jenna stood there with a tired but wide grin on her face.

“Bog off!” muttered Jessie through her own grin.

“Language Jessie, language, there are tender young ears present!” laughed Debs as she stood there too with Julia in front of her, with Debs pretending to cover Julias ears with her hands.

“It’s a good job I have brought a proper doctor to see our unofficial patient then, isn’t it?” added Jenna.

“Hello Jessie, haven’t seen you for a while?” spoke Dr Ruth Hunstanton from behind Jenna, “If we can clear the room for a while I will have a look at our unofficial patient here, and give my unofficial opinion.”

I gave Jessie a last squeeze, and stood to leave the room with Debs and Julia leaving the doc to speak to Jessie with Jenna present.

After Julia had her sats checked Debs and I got permission to take her to the cafeteria as long as we took her in a wheelchair. Julia had soon warmed to the two of us, though it was easy to see she was really concerned about Jessie. It’s amazing what a milk shake and a gluten free chocolate muffin will do to help break down barriers, plus armloads of shopping.

“This is going to be lots of fun, we’ve never had a niece to spoil before, both my brothers’ wives gave birth to boys, so having a girl to treat and take shopping is going to be awesome!”

“It certainly will, always assuming we can prise her away from Jessie and your Mum Jac’s, I can’t wait for you to be well enough to take shopping!” added Debs, cleaning some of the muffin crumbs off the front of Julia’s dress.

“Can I, . . do you think, . . . could, . . . would it be okay, . .?”

“Just come out with it Julia, we won’t bite, so what’s this all-important question that has you tongue tied?”

“Well, . . Well, I have never been a niece before, so would you mind if I called you aunties?”

“Well, I don’t know about you Auntie Debs, but I quite like the sound of being Auntie Jacs, what do you think Auntie Debs?”

“Well, Auntie Jacs, I think I would love being an Aunt to Julia here!”

Julia jumped down from her seat and gave us both tight hugs.

“Thank you, thank you so much, now, do you think we can go back to the ward so I can see how my Mum is doing and if the Dr has made her better yet?”

“Yes sweetie, you jump back in the wheelchair, and we’ll go and see how she’s doing and whether she’s behaving herself, okay?”

Julia nodded and we headed off back to the ward.

By Iona Laing

Chapter Seventeen – Jessie is told she has to back off!”

(Jenna.)

Once Jacqui and Deborah had taken Julia off the ward, I closed the door to the side room.

Dr Hunstanton sat in front of Jess and studied her carefully.

“Well Jess, you are the talk of the hospital, this is a beautiful task you have taken on, but let’s see to your health now, shall we?”

Ruth was thorough with the limited tools at her disposal. She looked at Jess’s eyes, hands and hair, she took her pulse while I took Jessies blood pressure, sats and temperature.

“I’d really like to run a couple of blood tests, a full blood count and a check of your iron levels. How are your periods, Jess?”

“Okay thanks!”

I couldn’t help but snort in derision.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” shot back a defensive Jess.

I sat on the bed. “Well Ruth, as you would expect for two young women living and working closely together. Our periods are pretty much in sync. But I have noticed the Jessies have slowly gotten longer, and if the number of pads and tampons we are getting through of late is anything to go by, hers are heavier than they used to be!”

“Is that correct Jess?”

“Well yes, but what’s that got to do with me being tired and breathless?”

“Well Jess, I suspect you are suffering from acute anaemia. Are you having more headaches?”

“Yes, almost every day, but doesn’t everyone get them from time to time?”

Yes, they can do, are you more tired than usual?”

“Yes, a little!”

“A little Jess, you fall asleep in front of the tele most nights, even dads noticed, he said the other day you nap more than he does, and he performs a heavy-duty manual labour job.”

“Okay, look at your hands, the skin is very dry, do you moisturise?”

“Yes Ruth, I have to.”

“Why?”

“Why?, because if I don’t my skin feels dry and awful!”

“Do you condition your hair?”

“Yes, although it has been drier of late and a bit more brittle now that I think about it.”

"Your pulse is more rapid and erratic than I’d like, but without running an E.K.G. I wouldn’t be able to say for definite. I think you are going through a bout of heavy periods, and you haven’t been replacing the iron you have been losing, so that’s caused you to have fewer red blood cells in your system than you need. You are a small woman Jess, so it wouldn’t take much for your system to get out of whack. Add that to your respiratory problems and no wonder your sats and energy levels are so low.

Now, all these tests could be run, but it would have to be official to keep the bean counters in this place happy, but that would mean splitting you and Julia up, plus, with you legally being Julia’s carer we wouldn’t want her sent elsewhere while you are sorted out, someone might even say you weren’t physically fit enough to be a foster carer at this point in time.”

Jess sat there in shock.

So, is Sandra Skinner still your G.P?”

“Yes Ruth, she is.”

“Right, as soon as you are both out of here, I want you to make an appointment to see her as soon as possible. I suspect you may benefit from a series of B12 injections, a course of iron tablets, and if you are not already taking it, consider going onto the contraceptive pill to help regulate your periods, but you have to watch out for nasty side effects, especially blood clots and embolisms. Also consider a diet richer in folic acids, like those recommended to women who are pregnant. But all this advice is from one friend to another.

Once the dust has settled, I’d like you to make an appointment to see me, it must be a couple of years since I last checked you over so you must be overdue to see me, okay Jessie, now, are you listening to me? Seriously listening?”

“Yes Ruth, I’ll make the appointment, thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it!”

“I’ll make sure she takes all your advice on board Ruth even if I have to batter her!”

“That’s good Jenna, now if you ladies will excuse me, I better get back to where I am supposed to be before someone sends out a search party.

Take care of yourself Jess, don’t let everything you have fought against all these years, and the battles of the last day or so all unravel because you are too stubborn to listen to those around you.”

With that Ruth left, closing the door behind her leaving just me and Jessie alone in the room.

“You will listen to what you have been told, won’t you Jess?”

“Yes Jen, it all makes sense doesn’t it, my symptoms all fit don’t they?”

“Yes Jess, but the good news is that it is a fairly straightforward fix, yes?”

“Yes Jen, I have to get this sorted don’t I, I can’t afford to let Julia down!”

“No Jess, but it isn’t just Julia, and yes she is really important, but think about Mum and Dad, Jeff Jnr, Cheryl and their two kids, Jason and Denise plus their two, Jacqui, Deborah, and me you bastard, what about me?” I was now in tears.

We have been through so much together, how could I possible live without my little sister, my B.F.F.

Think about what you mean to so many people apart from yourself. I’ve heard you telling Julia off for saying she’s a worthless freak, but deep down, you still feel that is you, don’t you Jess? You’ve never really and truly got past all the name calling and abuse you suffered as a kid, have you? But please Jess, let the past go, you have proved so many people wrong.

I have seen you working with the children of some of the morons who abused you at one time or another. But without fail, they have thanked you, said they wouldn’t have coped without your input. Some recognised you and were visibly embarrassed when they thought about how, as kids, they themselves hurt you.

Others have said to me that they can’t believe the person they inflicted so much emotional pain on, is such a loving, caring individual, who goes above and beyond the call of duty to provide such love and compassion to children in their hour of need.

Look at how the exposure of Paterson and Knott changed the regime within our school. That was as a direct result of that barbarous attack on you, but even that brought unexpected benefits, because you became my sister for real. So cut yourself some slack Jessie, you are an incredible human being who is loved by more people than she will ever realise.

Your taking on being a foster mum to Julia is an incredible gesture from one hurting individual to another. Don’t screw that up by driving yourself into the ground. We deserve you as much as Julia needs you, so please Jessie, take time to look after number one, i.e. yourself, please, I’m begging you!”

“Okay Jenna, okay. I need to stop and smell the roses as they say. I will try my best, I promise, I also can’t promise to be one hundred percent successful, not straight away, but I will try my best to love myself. All this emotional stuff is knackering that’s for sure; I could do with forty winks!”

“Well Jessie let’s get you into bed properly, you could always wear your new nighty, it will please Julia no end that her new mum would wear the same night attire as she will later. Besides there is so much mascara on your top it’s probably more than what is left in the tube it came from, I think we’ll need to invest in some waterproof stuff next time we go shopping!”

“Okay, anything for you sis, I do love you, you know?”

“Of course, I know that stupid, now let’s get you changed.”

We quickly got Jessie changed into her Disney® Frozen nighty, then into her recliner chair/bed. It’s a good job she’s so small. Within a few minutes she was deeply asleep. So, I quietly closed the door and left her to rest after making sure her nose piece was in place, I will try and talk her into a face mask for a while, just to give her a bit of a boost.

It was about ten minutes later that Julia came back onto the ward with Jacqui and Debs, all three with beaming smiles although they did give concerned glances to the closed door to Julia’s room. I went over to them and said Jessie was okay, just having a bit of a nap. Jacqui and Debs both gave me worried glances over the top of Julia’s head who was still sat in the wheelchair.

Jacqui smiled at me as she crouched down to be at Julia’s height.

“We know something you don’t!”

“Debs also put her head close to Julia’s,

“Do you think we should tell her, or will you Julia?”

“Can I ask her?”

Jacqui and Debs both nodded and got me down to Julia’s level.

“Well, it’s like this, if Jessie is going to be my new Mum, that makes Jacqui my Auntie Jacqui and Deborah, my Auntie Debs, so would it be alright if I called you my Auntie Jenna or Aunt Jen if you wanted?”

“Oh sweetie, that’s the nicest thing I thing anyone has ever asked me, I would be honoured to have you consider me to be an aunt, come on, let’s go and tell your mum, oh, we’ll have to wait a while as she needs a bit of a rest!"

“Actually Jen, Deb and I need to get going, I’ve had two texts from mum already as we’ve some shopping in the car that she’s waiting for to decorate Julia’s new bedroom.”

“I have a new bedroom?”

“Of course you have Julia, it used to be mine, where did you think you were going to sleep, in your grandfathers garden shed?”

“Grandfather? That means I have a grandmother now too?”

“You certainly do sweetheart, you have four great grandparents too, but you’ll meet them later when you are both feeling better, they’re all eager to meet you so don’t you go worrying. Can we just have a quick look in on Jessie Jen? Just so we can say to mum how she looked when we left, you know she’ll never give us any peace if she doesn’t get the full picture!”

“Okay, but be quiet, she needs a rest more than anything.

I opened the door quietly, and they all looked in on Jessie. There were “Aahs!” when they noticed her Disney® Frozen nighty.

“Okay girls, let’s leave her to snooze for a bit longer!”

“I’m not asleep!” said a quiet voice from the chair.

“Mummy, how are you feeling?” Julia rushed over to the chair and gently ran her hands up and down Jessies exposed arm.

“I’m okay sweetheart, just a bit tired, but I know why I am feeling so tired and it is something that is easily put right, so there’s no need for you to worry. You come and sit with me, you can read some more of “Swallows and Amazons” to me if you’d like to.”

“Okay mummy, can I wear my new nighty too, then we’ll match. Mummy, as you are now my new mum, I asked if I could call Auntie Jacqui, Auntie Deborah and Auntie Jenna well, aunties and they said yes. Isn’t that great?”

“It’s wonderful sweetie, you are a lucky girl aren’t you, Jules!”

“Jules?”

“Well we all have slightly shortened names, Jacquiline is Jacqui or Jac’s, Deborah, is Debs, Jenna is Jen, I’m Jessie or Jess, so you have to have a shortened name too, so Julia, becomes Jules! But only if you like that!”

“Oh yes, that makes me fit it even more.”

I saw Jess was flagging again.

“Okay Jules, lets me and you leave Aunties Jacqui and Debs to say bye to your mum for now, then, when they come out I’ll get Nancy to go in with you and help you get into your nighty and then I want you back on your oxygen nasal clip, so your mum doesn’t feel she’s being a nuisance. Then you can read to her, I know those books are her favourites.”

“Okay Auntie!”

Jacqui and Debs came out from Jessie after about five minutes, both had been crying, Nancy took Julia in after she’s said bye to her new aunties and thanked them repeatedly for all her new stuff and how much she loved them and how she couldn’t wait to meet them again.

Once Julia was out of earshot, I took Jacqui and Debs into my office and gave them the low down on Jessie. They were a bit overwhelmed with everything she was coping with. They were more than a little pissed at her for with how much she’d hidden and vowed they were going to be more vocal in her need to care for herself better from now on!

They said they’d fill in our parents once they got to the house. That was going to be a tense conversation, especially with our mum who continually blamed herself for the many health problems Jess has encountered. All due to the problems she’d experienced throughout her pregnancy. An incorrect conclusion to have reached, but that was how she felt and we knew we weren’t going to change her mind now.

Nancy came out and said Jess had fallen back asleep so Julia was watching cartoons on the television, I would nip back in once I’d seen to the two discharges who were going home today.

Chapter Eighteen – Jessie and Julia are discharged.

(Julia.)

It was late the following day when I was told I could go home the next morning if I had a good night with plenty of rest..

Jessie, my new mum was so excited to get me out of the hospital and settled in my new house, my new home, she nearly made herself poorly again.

Her mummy, my new grandmother Jennifer really told her off. Granny Jenny told my grandfather Jeffrey to take my mummy home with him, and granny would stop with me the last night of my stay in the hospital. Mum told gran that if anyone was staying with me it was going to be her. Gran told mum she needed a good night’s sleep and granny would be the one staying with me.

Jessie almost started to get into a blazing argument with her mum. Grandad tried to get in-between them to stop them arguing, it was a bit scary to see Jennifer and Jessie almost coming to blows. I didn’t like them arguing and I started to quietly cry. Grandad picked me up and gave me big hugs as he looked at the two of them.

(Jeffrey.)

“Are you two satisfied now?

That’s enough! you two, you are so alike it is scary. Julia doesn’t need this kind of atmosphere to mark her last night here in hospital. She should be excited about coming home with us, instead, you have both frightened her. I am not standing for it.

Both of you sit down and shut up!

You have Julia thinking that these sorts of arguments are what life is going like, that this is what life is going to be like for her, yet we all know that that it isn’t the case, is it?”

I stared at the two of them, and neither of them said anything, but both looked more than a little embarrassed! I held Julia effortlessly in my arm. I looked them over and shook my head, then picked my phone up out of my pocket, pressed one button and placed the handpiece to my ear.

“Jeff? Hi, listen, is Jason still at the house with you? . . .

He is, brilliant, listen son, I need the two of you to do me a favour, . .

Excellent, listen, I need you both to come over to the hospital, . . .

No calm down, there’s nothing wrong, other than two big kids can’t agree to play nicely. . . .

Exactly, your mum is trying to ride roughshod over Jessie and Jessie won’t let others render help to her and Julia.

Exactly, . .

So, get Jenna to pack an overnight bag for me and then can you and Jason pop over the hospital, bring me my bag, then take your mum and sister home with you and I’ll spend the night here with Julia, keeping her company, that’s if she wants me to that is?”

I looked at her, and she nodded with a smile.

“Yes Jeff, Julia has more sense than her mum and gran combined.

So, I don’t care if you have to toss them over your shoulders, take them both home, your mum has things she wants to get organised ready for Julia’s arrival anyway, and your sister is too knackered to think straight, so, Julia and I will have a nice evening tonight, play a few games, watch a film or two and if your mum and Julia’s mum can behave themselves overnight, then I might let them come back to the hospital tomorrow morning to take her home, if not I will bring her home with me on my own.

You will, . .

That’s great Jeff, see the pair of you shortly, cheers!”

With that I hung my call up and put the phone back in my pocket. Giving Julia a smile, I winked at her I turned back to look at my wife and daughter. I sat down on one of the chairs and settled Julia on my lap.

“I hope the two of you are proud of yourselves.

We, as a collective family, are supposed to be offering Julia a new start in life.

Well, you two have made a right pig’s ear of things so far and not covered yourselves in glory have you.

Jen, you are desperate to protect Jessie, and given everything she’s been through I understand that completely, I do, but you need to learn some tact, yes, Jess is your baby still, and probably always will be as far as you are concerned, but she is also a young woman who knows her own mind.

But honestly Jess, you promised loads of us only hours ago you would accept help when it was needed, we would offer it when required. But look at you. The first test of that resolve and you throw it back in people’s faces, I’m sorry Jess, but you are going to have to learn to accept help from others, and yes, they might want to do it differently to how you would want to do it yourself, but you are not some sort of Super Woman, well there again, to be fair, you have come close to being one, however, that is beside the point. you must be willing to let others in to help in their own way.

I love you both dearly as does Julia, but come on girls, let’s have a bit of give and take here please.

Julia and I will spend some quality time together this evening and we want the pair of you to do the same, but mostly, Jess you have to rest, the next days are going to be busy, fun filled and exciting and we both want you to be able to share these so we can all make great memories together.

Jen, accept Jess has valid reasons for what she wants, let’s have some compromises here. Blimey, you love each other, let’s see that love demonstrated!”

(Julia.)

My grandaddy let me scoot off his lap and I gave my granny a big hug, and as she hugged me back, we rocked from side to side. I whispered into her ear.

“I love you Granny, but please, look after my Mummy, make sure she gets lots of rest, please Granny, I don’t want to lose her, I’ve only just found her!”

“I will sweetheart, I will look after her I promise, besides your Auntie Jenna is at home, and she is scarier than either of us!” Then my granny kissed my forehead.

Next, I went over to my Mum.

“Please Mum, I need you to be a good girl, rest up for everyone please, you promised, didn’t you, you pinkie promised me you would rest and do all the things that doctor lady told you, but you are almost breaking your promise already. So Mum, I need you to make me another pinkie promise, come on Mum, pinkie out, and promise me that you will keep all the pinkie promises you have made me."

“You are right Julia, I am sorry sweetheart, here is my pinkie. You make the promise, and I will agree to it.”

“Thank you, Mum. Will you promise me you will go home with Granny, not argue, and have lots of rest, then you can have loads of fun with me when I get home!”

“I solemnly promise on my right pinkie, that I will go home with your Granny, I will rest up and be a good girl, so that when we get you home, we can all have a great time, here you go Julia, I will give you my other pinkie, and I will make you the same promise again Julia, I will be a good girl and rest up, okay?

I am sorry Julia, I love you and I am learning how to care for a daughter, it will take me some time, but I will get it right I promise.”

I was sitting on Mum’s lap reading some more “Swallows and Amazons” when these two huge men came to the door. As soon as I saw them, I thought they were coming to take me away from my Mum, so I scooted off her lap and hid behind her.

Then I noticed Auntie Jacqui standing behind them with a big smile on her face. She was holding her arms open to me, I was tempted to run to her for a hug, but that would have meant getting too close to these massive men. Then as I looked closely at them, then looked at Grandad, who smiled at me and nodded.

Aunt Jacqui pushed the two men out of the way and knelt down “I’m not surprised you think these two dodgy characters should be avoided, come give your Auntie one of your crushing hugs!”

I ran and jumped into her arms. Oohh, that’s wonderful sweetie. But I better introduce these two mountains to you, as they are my two brothers. This one who blocks most of the light from the room is your Uncle Jeff, and the other one who blocks slightly less light is your Uncle Jason. They don’t bite, not unless someone hurts a member of their family, but they are both big softies really, but that’s a secret just amongst us girls. but they would love a hug from their niece, if that is okay with you?"

I looked at Auntie, then at Mummy and they both smiled at me and nodded at me.

I reached across to the bigger of the two men, he was the biggest man I have ever been near. He carefully hugged me and stared into my eyes. “Hello Princess Julia, you are very pretty, it is amazing how similar to Jessie you look, it’s uncanny!”

“Thank you Uncle Jeffrey, I think Jessie is beautiful, she is much prettier than I’ll ever be. But it is really nice that you think we look so similar!”

“Don’t ever sell yourself short sweetheart! Here, let me pass you over to your other Uncle!”

I was passed to the second brother.

“Wow Princess, I thought you looked so very much like Jessie from a distance, but seeing you for myself now, close up, it’s like looking back in time. Uncanny! Anyway Julia, I’m your Uncle Jason, but just between you and me, I’m not only the youngest uncle, I’m also the smarter and better looking!”

“That’s enough cuddles from you two morons!” laughed Auntie Jacqui as she took me from Uncle Jason’s grip.

“We can’t stop as we had to park in the short stay car park so we need to get going. No doubt your Mum has lots of stuff to get together to take home with her. These two have come to physically remove your Mum and Granny from the hospital, they have come to do all the heavy lifting!”

“But I don’t think Mummy or Granny weigh that much!” I stated which seemed to cause the adults lots of laughs.

I looked about confused. “But Grandad said they had to carry them out over their shoulder in necessary.”

Granny patted my head. “Your Grandfather was just joking!”

“They have just come to carry a lot of the bags, and some of the clothes and cuddly toys you’ve been given off to your new home. We have a wheelchair for your Mum, which I know she will hate, but she will keep quiet about, as part of her deal to do as she’s told, so she can be properly rested for when she collects you tomorrow! Isn’t that right Jess?”

“I suppose so!”

“I hope you won’t be so miserable when it comes time for you to be discharged tomorrow, you will also have to use a wheelchair too Julia.” Auntie said with her back to Mum as she winked at me, I couldn’t help but giggle.

“No fair! But I surrender gracefully!” said Mum.

It took about ten to fifteen minutes to get together a lot of the stuff Mum and Granny were taking away with them, so we just had the minimum to take tomorrow. But as we got closer and closer to the time when Mummy would have to leave for tonight, the more tearful Mum and I became.

“We haven’t hardly been parted since I first came to keep you company almost five days ago. But we can do this one night. It’ll be morning before we know it. Look I’ll make sure your Grandad has his tablet charged, then at bedtime you wear your Disney® Frozen nighty, I’ll wear mine and we will have a mobile phone video call over “WhatsApp®, okay.”

I couldn’t speak so I just nodded at Mummy, then we all left my room to walk to the main doors to the ward. I travelled in my Mummy’s lap until we got to the doorway, then Grandad pulled us apart, and Mummy and I were to be truly separated for the first time in several days and would be for almost fifteen or sixteen hours. I sobbed on Grandads shoulder, and I could see my Mummy slumped against her Mummy’s arm as they travelled down the corridor, we each waved until they were out of sight.

Eventually I stopped crying and I had a good time with my Grandad. As we played games, he told me lots of stories about their family as they all grew up. About how close Jeff, Justin and Jacqui were as they were all of similar age groups and were, like their father really into their sports and were all tall.

Then he spoke about how close Jenna and Jessie were and how they closely resembled their mother. He also started talking about all the abuse and bullying Jessie had suffered, but how that had all changed when Jessie was around ten or eleven.

I looked at him; it was like he was desperately trying to change the subject.

I was ready in my posh nighty, waiting to talk to my Mummy and it seemed my Grandad didn’t know what to talk about next.

I turned to face him. “Grandad, everybody keeps telling me how closely I look like my Mum!”

He nodded but didn’t say a word.

“How come someone as pretty as my Mum was bullied? The last three schools I have gone to, the pretty girls don’t get teased, if anything they are the ones who decide who are the “in” kids, the ones who are popular! So, if I look so much like my Mum does that mean, am, am I going to get bullied too? Why didn’t the kids like Jessie, what had she done that made her so unpopular?”

My Grandfather looked at me and was just about to start speaking when the WhatsApp symbol on his tablet started to vibrate. It was my Mum. Grandad propped me on my bed with a pillow under the tablet and left me and Mum to talk.

Grandad left me to it and closed the door to my room, and my Mum was saying how nice my new room looked, and it was everything every little girl dreamed of.

My Mum had had a good sleep and she was looking forward to collecting me tomorrow. I could tell she kept getting passed slips of paper as she would get distracted from our conversation from time to time.

I knew something was going on and eventually asked my Mum.

“Mum, why were you so picked on at school? Ever since you have decided to care for me, I have been told how similar we are, not only in looks, but because of the abuse we suffered as youngsters. I know I was picked on because I was a poor orphan with no-one to care for me, I was poor and wore hand me down clothes, plus I was always ill, small and no-one cared about me one way or another.

Now I knew you too were small and sickly, but you had a family and everything going for you whereas I didn’t. You have said to me lots of times that you were determined that you were not going to let me suffer like you did. I love you Mum, I always will, that will not change, but why didn’t others love you like your family obviously did. Why has Grandad stopped talking about your childhood?”

My Mum got more and more upset, she kept starting to speak, then stopped I could see her shoulders shaking, and her face dropped into her hands. Then I saw the picture move and Aunt Jenna came in the picture, it looked like she had been crying too.

“Julia, sweetheart, we seem to have got ourselves into a bit of a mess here.

First off, your Mum loves you more than anything, more than herself even, you have seen how she has made herself ill while she has fought tooth and nail to secure you. She wanted to tell you all her story once you were here, at home, but unfortunately, your Grandad seems to have let slip a little more information than he realised. Plus, you are a very intelligent girl, and with the time you have spent with Jessie you have picked up on signals we didn’t realise we were giving off.”

“Why, . . why is, . . why is my Mum crying so much, . . . doesn’t she, . . . . doesn’t she love me anymore?”

“God NO, Sweetheart, I’m telling you now, she loves you, have you got that, SHE LOVES YOU!! With all her heart and soul, she is terrified that once you know what she’s been through, you won’t love her!”

“That’s stupid, she’s my Mum, okay we haven’t known each other that long, but we have connected, we knew we loved each other within minutes of first meeting. I don’t care what happened to her, I don’t care others were hateful to her, all I care about is that I love her and that she loves me, the rest of the world can, can, go, . . go, . fff, . . go get lost.!”

The picture slid across to show Jessie, my Mum, lying in her bed, looking a bit soggy to say the least.

I . . . I, . . I was g, . . going t, . . .to have a long t, . . t . . talk with you sweetheart, I w, . . w . . wanted to do it here, when it was nice and quiet and we could talk without all the interruptions. I never meant to hide anything from you, but it’s all been a bit frantic and didn’t go according to plan. B, . . b, . . but I want you to know that if you decide you can’t live here with me, then I, . . I, . . I would find you a better foster carer you would be happy with but I, . . I, . . I, . . I couldn’t let you end up in a care home or some other awful family like you were with a short while ago!”

“Mum, shut up, if you can put up with me, I want to live with you.”

“That’s what I want Jules, I want to give you everything that’s been lacking in your life up to now. I want my family to be your family, I haven’t lied to you, I may not have told you everything, but I will, I promise, Julia, I promise to tell you what happened to me, depending on when I can collect you, I will tell you all about my life and why I am so determined you won’t go through anything like the hassle I faced.

But never EVER doubt that I love you Jules!”

The picture shot across to show Aunt Jenna.

“Never doubt that for a moment Julia, not only that Jessie loves you, but our whole family loves you too, not only the family you have met but your other two Aunties Cheryl and Denise, along with your four cousins, they are so excited that they are almost besides themselves. Just wait until you are a little older, you will get some great jobs babysitting.

Anyway, Julia, I’ll send your Grandad back into your room, he’s feeling a bit guilty, bloody idiot that he is, so he should.

But your Mum is shattered Jules, it’s not only her physical health that has taken it out of her, but she’s emotionally absolutely drained too. She has the best part of seven weeks holiday owed her that she hasn’t taken from work over the last three years.

She works with kids facing surgery but also with children who are terminally ill or have had siblings who have died. She feels she is indispensable to a lot of these kids. So, this is her bodies way of saying she has done too much, for too long so you’ll be good for her, Julia, so say goodnight to her before she passes out and goes to sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow. Love you loads Jules.

The image went back to a tired and sleepy Jessie.

“Oh Mum you look so very tired, you go straight to sleep and we’ll talk tomorrow, I love you Mum and I always will.”

“Okay Jules, I’d like to talk some more, but I must admit that I am a bit tired. Have a good sleep sweetie, and I’ll see you in the morning, have a good sleep and if Grandad’s snores get too loud tell him to go sleep in the waiting room so you get some peace and quiet."

“Love you loads Mum, see you tomorrow!”

“Goodnight Jules, love you!”

Nighty night Mum, love you too!”

When I looked closely Mum was asleep. Auntie Jen popped her head into the viewfinder and put her fingers to her lips, she obviously turned the lamp in Mum’s room off, but there must have been a night light of some description. Auntie Jen walked out into a hallway, and it looked like she was sat at the top of some stairs.

“Right Julia, your Mum will be okay, she needs rest and to be honest many people, not only her family have been really worried about her. Your coming into her life is a Godsend, you are going to be so good for each other. Now, are you still on your own at the moment?”

“Yes, although I can hear voices!”

“No worries Jules, I want you to go to your bathroom, go to the loo then wash your hands and face and clean your teeth. Then get into bed and get yourself comfortable and someone will be into see you in a few minutes. Just close the lid of the tablet and it will cease this call. Now, are you okay?”

“Yes.”

“You sure?”

“Yes Auntie, I am worried about Mum, but as long as you are there to look after her, then that will be okay!”

“You are so sweet Julia, anyway, go get yourself sorted and I’ll see you tomorrow! Okay sweetie, good night!”

“Night night Aunt!” Then I closed the lid to the tablet. I could hear voices out in the ward still, so I went into the bathroom and did everything I needed to, including having another little cry, I hope my Mum was going to be okay. I pushed my door open a little way and climbed into bed. Within moments I was asleep.

By Iona Laing

Chapter Nineteen – Nightmares and explanations.

(Julia.)

I was back at school, and it was playtime, and as usual the favourite game was shove Julia around.

“Who would want to be a foster carer for you?” Shove!

“You are a worthless piece of shit!” Shove!

“Nobody likes you!” Shove!

“Who would want to be bothered with scum like you!” Shove!

“Yeah, do us all a favour and run away!” Shove!

“Why don’t, “Julia”, you run f**king away Julia!” Shove.” Shake!

““Julia” Why don’t you “Julia” drop dead! Shove!

“Drop dead!” “Julia!” Shake!

“No one” “Julia Wake up!” Wants you”

“Julia, Come on Julia” Shake!

“Julia, please Julia, wakeup, it’s a dream, a nasty dream, that’s all it is, come on Julia!”

I awoke with a scream!

“Shush, Julia, shush, come on sweetheart, your perfectly safe, I’m here!”

I woke to find myself in my Grannies arms. She was hugging me tightly and rubbing my back.

“See Julia you are quite safe, here have a sip of water!”

I gulped quite a bit of the water as I was thirsty. Then I looked at Granny more than a bit confused!

“I thought Grandad was going to spend the night with me?”

“That’s what you were supposed to think, but it was just a ruse to get Jessie home and to enable her to have a good sleep in her own bed.”

Granny gave me an extra firm hug.

“She’s been prowling around this room like a caged tiger of a night when you have been asleep in your bed, she wouldn’t relax, so, her father and I engineered the argument between me and your Mum yesterday, leaving her with no choice but to go home! That’s why her brothers were called in as well as Jacqui, to make sure she’d give in gracefully and agree to leave you in the care of someone else for one night.

Then your daft Grandfather nearly blew the whole scheme by talking about more past events, much more than he meant to.”

“But my Mum, is she alright?”

“Jessie nearly came right back to see you last night. Thankfully Jenna had managed to get her into bed and had got her to take a couple of her sleeping pills which Jenna had mixed in with Jessie’s hot chocolate. Your Mum will sleep until quite late in the morning, so I have plenty of time to tell you her story, everything she wanted to tell you herself but didn’t know how.

Your Uncle Jason had already got me halfway back to the hospital before it all nearly unravelled, firstly with your Grandad’s big mouth and secondly, with you being so clever in adding up a lot of loose ends.

So, Julia, I am going to tell you a story, a true one, but a story of one young woman’s battle to be true to herself, her battle to be heard by those who loved her but wouldn’t listen to what was so plainly obvious, about her battles against those who hated her, belittled her and abused her, her battle to recover from an attack that led to six people spending many years in prison for attempting to murder her, and the subsequent discovery of despicable crimes against many other children. But most of all, her battle to rescue a child from the clutches of a social care system that that is extremely short on care. So, before I start, let’s get you to the loo so you can be all comfy when I begin this tale.”

After seeing to all that was needed.

“So Julia, twenty-one years ago I fell pregnant, I already had a baby I was caring for named Jenna, . . . . . “

So, Granny told me the whole story of Jessie, her youngest baby and now my Mum.

She cried, . . . I cried, . . . . we both cried!

Granny looked at me intently.

“So you see Julia, Jessie was desperately trying to work out how to tell you, her story. She did not want to hide the truth from you, but she was terrified you would not accept her; however, she was determined to give you the love you had been starved of but deserved.

So please Julia, don’t judge Jessie too harshly.”

“Granny, I want to see my Mum as soon as I can this morning, I know it is only very early in the morning, but I want to give her the biggest hug I can manage, and to give her a kiss that comes from the bottom of my heart. I loved her anyway, but hearing everything she has gone through makes me love her even more. I knew I was lucky she came into my life, but I want her to be happy, I want her to be well, I want her to get healthy and stay that way.

I know we need my Dr to sign off on my discharge, but can we hurry that along so that I can be at my Mums side when she wakes up.”

“Jump down Julia, let me go make some enquiries!”

Chapter Twenty – Aftermath and Happiness.

(Jessie.)

I felt more rested than I had in a long time. I had almost forgotten how comfortable my bed is. I could feel a hand brushing my hair away from my face and caressing my cheek.

“Mmmm, that’s nice,!”

“You have lovely hair Mum”.

“Thank you!”

“You’re welcome!”

“Did you have a good sleep?”

“I did thank you Mum!”

“That’s good Julia, . . . Julia?”

I opened my eyes to see a smiling Julia, under the covers with me, caressing my face. My brain felt very fuzzy! ‘What was my daughter doing in bed with me? In bed with me at home? Our home and not our room at the hospital? She’s supposed to be in hospital still, until I fetched her later this morning and signed her out.’

“What time is it love and how come you are here?”

“It’s almost lunchtime, Granny said “If you don’t get your backside into gear and get downstairs you won’t have any lunch!” so come on Mum, get your dressing gown on and Granny has some soup and fresh bread for us and Jenna to share, it smells wonderful, I never knew you could make soup from actual things, I’ve been helping by peeling potato’s and chopping carrots, I thought you only got soup from tins!”

“Okay Julia love, go downstairs, tell Granny I am coming! Then the three of you can tell me how come I have slept half the day away, how it is that you are home from the hospital without me being there to sign you out, and how come I feel like I have been drugged?”

“Sorry Mum, Granny said I had to actually bring you down with me or neither of us would get any lunch! Plus, she thought you might be a bit wibbly wobbly on your feet”

“Gordon Bennet! I bet Jenna is at the bottom of all this! Okay, okay! Just let me pop to the loo and we’ll head down together, then I want some answers!”

Julia held my hand as we walked down the stairs. I must admit the aroma of Mums soup was mouthwatering and made my stomach rumble. We walked into the kitchen. Mum was stirring a pot on the stove as Jenna was sorting out plates, bowls and cutlery.

“Look, Sleeping Beauty awakes! At flaming last” laughed Jenna.

“Why do I think I have you to blame for me feeling more than a little spaced out this morning Jen?”

“Moi? Morning? I think you will find that it is now afternoon!

But, yes, I may have slipped you a couple of your sleeping tablets last night, but in my defence, you were driving us all blooming crazy with your prowling about! We had to do something to get you to switch off and get some real rest. You were that tired that you couldn’t detect the taste of the tablets that were dissolved in with your hot chocolate, and I know they are a little bitter. Think yourself lucky, I was all for bonking you on the head, but I was outvoted, but it was a close call!

But anyway, that’s all academic sister dear. You needed the rest, now you have had some sleep, a good long sleep actually, and waking up next to Julia must have been a nice surprise. So, sit down and shut up!”

“Now girls, let’s not turn Julia’s first meal in her new home into a battleground.

Pick a seat Julia, have some soup, plus the Gluten Free bread is nice and warm. After we’ve had this, I have a Gluten Free chocolate cake, then we can explain to Jessie what went on this morning. After that you can show her your new bedroom and how it has been decorated, and some of the new clothes we have bought you, as I doubt she had chance to have a look at much of it all last night, and if she did, I doubt if she remembers too much about it”

So, we enjoyed our lunch then we sat in the living room and started to talk.

It was explained that Jenna kept a close eye on me as I slept away the best part of fifteen hours. Then how my Mum had gone to the hospital and had explained to Julia my story in all its gory detail.

The story of how being intersexed had impacted my early life. The close bond Jenna and I shared. The attack and how our family had pulled together. Then afterwards how the family coped with realising their son and brother, was a genetic daughter and sister, much to Jessie and Jenna’s delight.

I described how I’d always felt myself to be a girl and how Jenna had stood by me for years until we were vindicated by the medical discoveries following my attack. Plus, her treatment of Jessie as a sister and never a brother and how she had kept my secret for five or six years and never once betrayed my trust, how she is and always will be, my heroine.

We spoke about other aspects of the fallout from my attack; how much school life improved for pupils of all ages and not just me. I related how difficult I found it to accept if people’s changed opinion of me was genuine, or if it was offered just to fit in with the changed perception of the masses. I didn’t like to hold a grudge, but the old saying “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me!”

Julia looked at me, and frowned and asked, “What does that mean?”

“Basically, it means if someone lies to you or tells you one thing that later proves to be false that you should not fall for the same trick twice, ‘That was such a good scam. I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. I feel like an idiot right now, and there’s no way I’m ever falling for something like that again. Fool me once, that’s because you are nasty, fool me twice with the same lie, that means I am stupid!’”

She nodded her understanding. She cuddled up to me all the time, both Mum and Jenna had tears as I related to Julia what life was like, some things, like feelings were new to them, but to be fair some were new to me as I had never really expressed my feelings with the benefit of hindsight. I think it was therapeutic for all of us.

Then with a beaming smile, I related how I had found my perfect job and had worked with many, many children, until I had met Julia and my life took off in an entirely unexpected direction.

All information I had wanted to impart to Julia but hadn’t known how or when to tell her.

Julia took my hands in hers.

“Mum, Granny explained how all the bits of the story I had only half understood, fitted together. I am amazed at how strong a person you are!

I am so proud to know you and I can’t tell you how thrilled I am that you want me to be your daughter, I don’t care about your past Mum, but I want to be part of your future if you’ll still have me, will you Mum?”

I grabbed hold of Julia and hugged her tightly.

“Sweetheart, I am thrilled to be your Mum. Even though I still feel a little spaced out, I feel better for having had a good sleep. So how about you show me your bedroom?”

“Yay” she yelled and pulled me upright and we all went up as she proudly showed me the things she now had, items she could only dream about, but I understood more than most, as I too, at one time, had looked on at such a lifestyle from the outside!”

(Jennifer.)

Over the next few weeks our family life settled down into a new routine. Julia was like a child experiencing life for the first time. She wandered around with a wide-eyed wonder at things we, as a family took for granted. In no time at all she was an integral part of our lives.

Jessie was ordered to use significant chunks of her accrued annual leave to rest up and recharge her batteries. She was able to spend great amounts of time with Julia, showing her everything from the school to the family heavy vehicle repair business, to Jessies office at the hospital, and all the tools she used in her work with the children that came into her sphere.

Then, when we celebrated Christmas, she almost overdosed on the love we each shared with one another.

Jessie had taken her shopping, so she was able to purchase a small gift for each of her new family. She took great delight in wrapping the presents she’d chosen, something Jessie loved to do. Fancy ribbons, bows and gift tags. She took great care in placing her gifts under the family tree.

Come Christmas morning she couldn’t believe how the number of presents had swelled due to Santa’s visit.

She was allowed to open a few of her presents, then she and Jessie went to visit the sick kids still in hospital, where they handed out the small gifts they had purchased and wrapped with the same level of care and devotion Jessie had always displayed. This was something Jess had done for many years and still continues to do to this day.

Then once they had returned home, we all opened the rest our presents.

She spent so much time playing her new young cousins that the adults almost had to prise them away from her so they could visit other branches of their families. It was a great day for us, Jeff Snr and I had our five girls’ home with us over Christmas Day and Boxing Day.

So Jacqui, Deb’s, Jenna, Jessie and Julia had a great time together.

Sadly, Deborah’s parents could not accept their daughter’s lesbian relationship with Jacqui, obviously, she was deeply hurt by her family’s rejection, but she’d been a member of our family from an early age, and as it became obvious how much love they shared, she’d been like a daughter to us for most of her life.

Julia certainly brought a new and refreshing dynamic to our family. I swear she made us all slow down a little and take time to enjoy life, even as we were racing about at one hundred miles per hour or so it seemed. It was impossible to imagine our family without her being a fundamental part of our existence.

Jessie had typical feelings of separation anxiety all Mums experience when Julia started at the Junior school in early January. But seeing her daughter leaving school in the middle of a group of happy smiling faces went a long way to easing her mind that Julia was not going to experience the hassle and abuse the Jessie herself had suffered.

As time went on, it seemed that Julia had always been a part of our family.

She couldn’t wait to get to play with her young cousins, and they took to her as if she had always been part of the experience of spending time with Auntie Jessie and Julia was just there and always had been!

The summer holidays we always spent walking in the Scottish Highlands. These weeks were forever a highlight of our year. Julia had never been anywhere further afield than the local park and that was a rare event. Seeing the sights the United Kingdom had to offer really opened her eyes to the beauty that was not too far from her own doorstep.

Jessie finally relaxed a little more with each moment she spent with Julia. She relaxed into the role of being a Mum and responsible for someone else. Her loving nature seemed to deepen and become less frenetic, she was always popular at work, but even that seemed to increase as she now had a parents experience to add to her arsenal of gifts and tools she used as part of her job.

Julia did have episodes of wishing she didn’t have to share her Mum with so many others. We all made sure she was kept occupied, and sometimes she would go to work with Jessie, and would help other kids by playing and listening to them. She was like Jessie; there was no way her health restrictions were going to stop what she wanted to accomplish. She took an interest in drama as Jenna had done, she loved music and took up learning the guitar much to her grandfather’s delight. It was a brilliant to hear them jamming together, making music and lots of laughter too, they were a real couple of head bangers! Hearing “Smoke on the Water” being hammered out from the front room always made the windows rattle.

Our family continued to evolve. Cheryl announced she was pregnant with her and Jeff’s third child.

Jenna seemed to feel that she no longer had to purely be Jessie’s big sister and started dating a doctor from the hospital. Cheryl eventually delivered a daughter, Judith Jade, so continuing the double J naming strategy. Julia loved her boy cousins dearly, but she was besotted with Judy, it was heart warming to watch her tenderness in being with her newest cousin, she wasn’t even put off by dealing with the occasional messy nappy either!

When it was approaching the twelve-month anniversary of Julia joining our family, she came home from her school one afternoon to find Jessie anxiously waiting for her with a large manilla envelope in her hand.

I was watching from the kitchen as Julia approached, looking more than a bit dubious. In her experience, anything official looking with her name on was generally bad news.

Chapter Twenty-one – Finale.

(Julia.)

“What is this?”

“Why don’t you open it and find out?”

“Is it something about me?”

“Open it and see!”

Julia cautiously took the envelope from Jessie's hand and read the name typed on the front.

JULIA JULIET JONES.

Julia frowned and very carefully slid open the flap and pulled out the sheaf of papers contain within it and started to read.

“I don’t understand, who is this Julia Juliet Jones, are you getting rid of me and replacing me with her? I thought you loved me and were going to take care of me forever.

“Don’t cry Julia, please sweetheart, look at the heading at the top of the page!”

“Adoption Certificate? ADOPTION CERTIFICATE!”

“Yes Julia, it is official, Julia Juliet Jennings is now officially Julia Juliet Jones, my daughter, forever and always.”

“Really? You adopted me?”

“Yes I did; I told you I would!”

With a squeal I threw myself at Jessie, and our world was complete, I was officially loved and cared for, and no-one, absolutely no-one was ever going to take this from me.

(Jennifer.)

Two years had elapsed after the formal adoption and Jessie was Chief Bridesmaid to her sister Jenna at her marriage to Doctor Matthew Graham, so the J.J.J. sisters were no more. Julia looked equally beautiful as a bridesmaid, along with Matthew’s younger sister Abigail. Matthew’s brother Richard was his best man, and to Jessies very great surprise, she found herself intensely attracted to him. Richard had recently qualified as a doctor and was specialising as a Paediatrician.

Then twelve months later Jessie and Richard announced their engagement with a wedding date in the following June.

I was a very proud mother of the bride the following year when my baby walked down the aisle on the arm of her father. All her family looked proudly on from the aisles as Jessie Jocelyn Jones became Jessie Jocelyn Jones-Graham. But the proudest spectator of us all was Julia. She stayed with Jeff and I while her Mum and new Father went on their honeymoon to The Isle of Skye.

The street was fast becoming known as the “Jones” crescent. We had lived in the same house since Jeff and I married over thirty-eight years earlier. When Jenna married, her and her husband had bought the next but one house from us. Then when Jessie married, she and her husband had managed to purchase the house in between Jeff and I and Jenna and Matthew.

It was almost ten months later, we were all gathered for our Annual Easter Sunday lunch. This year Easter fell right at the very end of April. There was a definite underlying current of excitement. After we had all gathered in the living room, Jenna coughed into her hand and asked for our attention.

“On this day we celebrate the rising of new life, Matthew and I have an announcement to make. I am pregnant, we have had it confirmed by Dr Hunstanton, I am due around the 28th December!”

There were many squeals of delight and hearty handshakes, Jenna and Jessie were hugging each other tightly with tears streaming down their faces. Julia was bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet also in floods of tears tugging at Jessies sleeve.

As I watched the three of them, with Jacqui and Deborah also attendance, I saw Jessie whisper into Jenna’s ear who screamed and jumped up and down and fanned her face with her hand. She shouted for us all to be quiet. Jessie looked across at Richard who nodded.

“Well, I want to announce that I too am pregnant, this is going to sound like a repeat proclamation, I have had my pregnancy confirmed by Dr Hunstanton and, believe it or not, I am due on the 29th December.

Just like nearly everything that has happened to me in my life, I get to share this experience with Jenna. This is an incredible co-incidence that I get to share the most amazing experience most women ever undergo with my sister, my best friend forever, and most importantly my daughter too. Our husbands are just along for the ride!!”

Even more congratulations were spread amongst all the family, with the sharing of anecdotes and the promises of sharing of maternity clothes.

As the dust from those announcements were beginning to settle, the final twist in our tale occurred just last week.

A buzzing of the doorbell took me to the front door. When I opened it there was a middle-aged woman standing on the doorstep.

“Excuse me, but can you tell me if Jessie Jones lives here?”

“I’m sorry, but who wants to know?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, my name is Grace Jennings, I think Jessie Jones adopted my granddaughter, Julia Juliet Jennings.”

“I’m sorry Mrs. Jennings; but, honestly, you are not welcome here, Julia is finally a happy individual who has buried a lot of heartache and rejection behind her, I am sorry but I don’t want to undo all the good work my daughter, and all of us really, have put into healing a lot of the psychological damage she experienced earlier in her life, I’m sorry that this is likely not the response you were expecting but Julia and Jessie come first.”

“Please Mrs. Jones I understand, honestly, I do, please believe me when I say I do not intend to make any waves within your family. I just wanted to hand over some photographs that Julia might like to have at some stage! I know it is too late now, but I want her to know she was always loved, even if that love was invisible.”

“We were led to believe Julia had been abandoned by those who should have loved her. That child went through abject misery and total hell until she was rescued by my daughter. Julia is now Jessies daughter in the eyes of the law and she is our granddaughter who we love to bits.

Social Services have a letter signed by your family stating that you wanted nothing further to do with Julia, you even threatened legal action if contact was ever made again. Your family threw away contact with Julia’s mother, I don’t know why, but that woman went through hell and paid for it with her life, and her daughter barely survived over eight years of misery, so, if you don’t mind, I have things to do, and I would be very much obliged by your staying away from my daughter and her daughter, now my granddaughter, otherwise, this mother will go ballistic on anyone who wants to get in between them. Do I make myself clear?”

“Perfectly Mrs. Jones, and please, I am not looking to get between your daughter and Julia. I am ashamed that I was not a strong enough person to stand up to my husband before now. He was the one who threw our daughter out of the family home when she told us she was pregnant, the father, we were pretty sure was the son of our minister. But I couldn’t confirm that and was warned in no uncertain terms to back off. I wanted to help her, but he is a violent bully, and I am ashamed to say I did not leave him before now. I was a typical battered wife who thought she could change her partners behaviour. I was so wrong.

Rachael was a good girl who planned to study to become a primary school teacher, sadly life kicked her in the teeth and the one person she should have been able to turn to and trust, i.e. me, turned her back on her, and I can never now tell my baby how much she was loved. She died in squalor, I can never, ever undo that.

I just wanted to leave you some photos of Rachael, Julia’s mum when she was little and we were a happy family. I promise, I will not make waves in Julia and Jessie’s lives. I am just so glad Julia has finally got someone who loves her and cares for her as you all obviously do, it is a weight off my mind.”

Mrs Jennings was partway down the path when I called her back, I wondered if this was the right thing to do but she seemed genuine in her remorse.

“Would you like to come in for a cuppa?

“I would like that very much, if you are sure I won’t be a bother?”

“You seem like you need a friend, so come in for a cup of tea, and I can show you some photographs of Julia.”

We sat and nattered for a couple of hours; she sobbed after seeing Julia’s photos.

Then the front door burst open and a voice called out “Granny, I’m home!” I heard a bag slam onto the floor and feet start rushing down the hallway before another voice called out “Julia Juliet Jones-Graham!

Does your coat live on the floor? I think not! Come back and hang it up properly, take your dirty shoes off and put your slippers on, then you can go and get one of Grannies homemade biscuits.

You can move your school bag from the middle of the floor too!”

An exasperated voice responded, “Yes Mummy, sorry Mummy, will do Mummy!”

Grace and I smiled at each other as we both relived many similar conversations we’d had in the past.

Moments later, the mini tornado that is Julia rushed into the kitchen, “Hello Granny! Can I have a biscuit please? Have you had a nice day?” before she skidded to a halt staring at the strange woman sat in the kitchen.

Jessie walked into the kitchen moments later, she too had a confused look, before she smiled, stepped forward offering her hand to Grace Jennings, “Hello, I’m Jessie Jones-Graham, pleased to meet you, this bundle of energy is my daughter Julia who has suddenly gone shy and is hiding behind me! Say hello Julia!”

“Hello!”

I thought it was time to make the introductions. “Sit down at the table please girls, I have someone I’d like you to meet!”

“Julia, Jessie, this lady is Grace Jennings, she is Julia’s biological Grandmother!”

Both Julia and Jessie looked more than a little startled. Julia latched onto Jessie’s arm. who adopted an antagonistic pose.

“Please girls, don’t worry, I have not come to get between the pair of you. I just wanted to hand over some photographs of your birth Mum Julia. I saw you just the once, and Rachael, your birth Mum was so proud she had a baby girl, someone she named after two of her favourite people, she had great plans for the two of you, but sadly it wasn’t to be. She loved you to bits Julia, but she was just a child herself and the person who should have helped her didn’t, and that is something I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life. But you are a beautiful young lady, you look so like Rachael it is scary, as well as looking very like Jessie.

I just wanted to see for myself that you were happy and well cared for, something I should have done for my own daughter yet failed miserably to do. These are some photographs of Rachael, that I thought you may like to keep!”

“Why did you turn your back on my Mum?” trust kids to get to the heart of the matter.

“Because Julia, I was a coward, I let Eric, your grandfather, rule our lives.

He is a woman hating bully, I thought I could change him, but I feared him too, I ended up in hospital several times after he’d hit me. I’d pass it off as me falling downstairs or walking into a cupboard door or something similar. He always apologised, said he was sorry but when he threw Rachael out and forbade me from having anything to do with her or her child part of me died. His abuse became worse, his threats worse, he said if I left him, he would track down and kill Rachael. I only found out she’d died a month ago, I had searched for her for ages, I had no idea her child had been in care all her life.

Then I saw Jessie’s wedding photographs on display at the local photographers. I saw your photos as bridesmaid, not only do you look so alike but you resembled Rachael, that was how I was able to track you down.

I was just bringing some photographs I thought you might like to keep, I shall leave now, and I promise not to bother either of you again, I just want to say thank you Jessie, not only for what you have done for Julia but your work with the sick kids. You are admired throughout the city!”

The front door flew open.

“Hi Honey, I’m home, thought I’d better butter you up first, . . . I have brought one of your sons with me. Now, . . . before you see me, I better own up, . . . as you’ll be giving me a telling off! . . . Again!”

He entered the kitchen.

I have damaged my ruddy hand at work and find driving a bit of a pain at the moment! Oh, hello, I’m Jeff and this great lump is our younger son Jason.”

“Erm . . . “

“What did you do this time you great idiot?” as I took his bandaged hand in mine, “This lady is Grace Jennings, Julia’s biological grandmother, she’s brought some family photographs that she thought Julia might like to keep of her birth mother!”

I could see several emotions crossing Jeff’s face, before a steely resolve set in, Jason leant against one of the kitchen units with his arms firmly crossed.

Jessie was pacing around the doorway. It was then that the doorbell rang twice in quick succession. “I’ll go.”

We heard the door fly open and Jessie squeal.

An irate man surged into the kitchen, he was a big man who reeked of booze. He roared out.

“I told you Grace, I would kill your daughter if you left me, now that that bitch is dead, I’ll have to settle for killing this f**king little bitch instead!” and he launched himself at Julia who screamed and flew backwards into my arms.

Suddenly Jessie shot into the kitchen and with a flying kick, she flew into the side of Eric Jennings left knee. The cracks and crunches from his knee were impressive but sickening as he collapsed and started to scream in agony, however, he met Jason’s right fist as it arced upwards and Eric’s head snapped backwards as several teeth flew into the air. Eric lay on the floor unconscious. Jeff stood with a foot on Eric’s chest.

“Jen, phone the police!”

Jessie was back on her feet and was struggling to get in another attack on the comatose Eric Jennings, but Jason had her firmly around the waist and kept her kicking feet clear of the floor.

“Let me at him! . . . I’ll kill the bastard! . . . How dare he threaten my daughter! . . I’ll kick his other leg in! . . . Then his f**king head! . . . Let me go, Jason, let . . .me . . . go!”

“Shush Jessie, calm it girl, think of your baby, calm it, that bastards not going anywhere!” Jason rocked a sobbing Jess from side to side, and Julia flew into her mother’s embrace.

Grace Jennings was sobbing out how sorry she was for inadvertently bringing such an animal to our house.

The police and ambulance crews were soon on the scene.

Given the news Jess was newly pronounced pregnant the paramedics were insistent that she went to the hospital for a full checkup, Julia went with her.

Eric Jennings was under arrest for conspiracy to commit murder, attempted murder, aggravated assault, threatening behaviour, domestic abuse, criminal tresspass and that was just what the police could come up with in the immediate aftermath of the afternoon’s events.

But before a court appearance, he was taken to hospital first for surgery to try and repair his shattered knee and then have his fractured jaw wired shut.

Grace was able to get her husband charged with historic domestic abuse, as the x-rays and medical records were still on file within the hospital. The threats against Julia were also going to be prominent in the list of charges against Eric Jennings at his future trial.

Chapter Twenty-two Epilogue.

(Jessie.)

Well, I have had an amazing life so far. I never ever expected to achieve what I have; I still have to pinch myself from time to time to prove that I am not dreaming.

When I was a young child, a very desperately depressed little boy, very close at times to throwing the towel in and giving up, I never dreamt that I would get to live my dearest wish and become a woman, let alone still loved by my family, plus being a fully functioning female now in the early stages of pregnancy.

I already have a beautiful daughter who will make a glorious big sister no matter whether she has a brother or sister to care for.

It makes no difference to me that I had to adopt her to rescue her from a potential life of sadness and misery. I always introduce her as my daughter and leave it at that. If people want to do the mental maths and class me as a teenage Mum who was stupid or careless enough to fall pregnant, that is their problem not mine and I could care less what they think of me, as long as Julia is not suffering abuse as a result of misconceptions of myself.

I shared so much of my life with my sister Jenna. She has been my rock; my constant companion and I have so much I owe to her, basically I owe her my life.

She heard me when I was at my lowest, when I didn’t think anyone would understand my feelings, she was there for me. She never left my side, and always but always had my back, even when I didn’t understand what that phrase actually meant.

She fought a lot of battles on my behalf. She underwent a lot of hassles for me; she was at my side when everything could have gone pear shaped when our family learned the truth about me and she explained a lot about my journey when I wasn’t able to string two words together.

Julia and Jenna have finally gotten through to me that I am worth loving, that I could indeed love myself, that I was a person of worth. I knew the concept and had skated around its edge, but they both ganged up on me and finally opened the eyes within my heart, that I could love myself as I loved others. It is a hard thing to do, to change your view of yourself by one hundred and eighty degrees but manage it I did.

I now have a husband, Richard who loves me, a man who actually loves me in spite of my backstory, to him it matters not one jot. I love him dearly; he has helped Jenna and Julia to enable me to see the real me for myself. The latest miracle is that I have a child actively growing within me. Me a mother! Incredible! I can’t wait to feel our child moving within me, and being able to compare notes on an almost daily basis with my sister is beyond belief.

As a result of both Jenna and mine announcements, Jacqui and Deborah revealed that they were well into the process of Deborah becoming pregnant via a sperm donor and utilising artificial insemination. They have even considered asking Jeff Jnr and or Justin for a contribution and mixing the results and utilising the old “Turkey Baster” process, so there is a “Jones” element involved, but there are a lot of family dynamics to work out first.

What is really good news is that the pair of them ran into Deborah’s mother while in the local shopping centre. Within moments Debs and her Mum were enjoying the first hug they had shared in years. So perhaps there is hope for a renewal of contact between Deb’s and her family. Her mother did admit that her and her husband now realised that Deb’s and Jacqu’s, shared a true love and not just a silly schoolgirl crush. We are all keeping our fingers crossed.

When I announced my engagement to Richard, of the many people to seek me out was Karen, Julia’s Social Worker from years gone by. She was more emotional than I was as she reminded me of her request not to give up on mankind and that her fondest wish was that I would find a life partner, when I first became Julia’s Mum. She is retired now and lives up in Aberdeenshire, but even with the distance between us, she had heard through the grapevine of my pregnancy and after telephoning me to give me her congratulations, she sent a parcel of hand knitted baby clothes for me to share with Jenna.

Even knowing my history, Peter and June, Matthew, Richard and Abigail’s parents, also known as mine and Jenna’s in-laws, accepted me (and Jenna) with open arms. Abigail is now studying to be a Doctor at The University of Birmingham’s medical school so that will make all three of their children M.D’s. In spite of their loftier upbringing than that of the “Jones” family, we have gelled like one humungous collective. In fact, our parents and Peter and June have been on regular holidays together, and all are beyond excited at the impending births. In fact Julia, who is so smart she finds a lot of school to be tedious, is now seriously considering a career in medicine just like her father, uncle and Aunt Abigail. I just hope the stresses involved in studying for a Medical Degree will not adversely affect her health, but one thing I do know, is that she is too stubborn to let such a thing as health restraints to restrict her ambitions, just like someone we all know!!

George Knott, our old P.E. teacher, his nephew Dennis, Martin Hines along with Alan and Brian Bromley have all been up for parole twice since their original sentencing. At both sets of hearings the whole of my family along with many former victims of their reign of tyranny were crowded into the room to which they were escorted to face their accusers once again.

My Mother and myself addressed the tribunal the first time with lots being drawn from among the other attendees to give reasons why we all opposed their early release. The second time it was my father and myself, along with a few of the others who addressed the panel.

My Father almost found himself in legal trouble as he issued barely veiled threats to all five defendants that once they were released, they better not trouble his family otherwise he would personally take the matter up, man to thug, upon being warned by the head of the Parole Review Panel, he said he meant to say man to man. He was warned as to his future conduct but not even a blind man could fail to recognise the glare, he and my two brothers fixed the five thugs with every time they perused the crowd that had come to ensure justice was meted out as much as we were able.

I have since heard that Martin Hines, who was deemed to have played a lesser part in the attacks and being somewhat younger than the others, has been released and left the area in a very short period of time. My father and brothers wore grim but satisfied smiles, but none of them would admit to being actively involved in his departure.

Grace has a part in our lives, that is still in its early days, but she does seem sincere in her remorse.

So dear reader, I hope you feel you are up to date with all things with Jessie, Jenna and Julia

I could not wish for a more incredible life, and my journey, to paraphrase another author, one Bilbo Baggins who composed the walking song, “The road goes ever on!”, so dear reader I wish that your life journey goes ever on, as does mine and that in spite of all you face, it may bring you as much happiness as mine has brought me.

Take care of yourself, and as the famous Irish comic Dave Allen used to always end his tv programmes with the saying, “May your God go with you!”