Alex in Wonderland: Chapter 12

 

Alex had a terminal Cancer diagnosis and thought she would die before she got to be the girl she always was inside. That all changes when she's in the wrong place at the right time and gets transported to another world and into the body of a girl. So what if she's not human, she's alive and a girl. Now if only she had her sister with her to navigate this new world and her new responsibilities. Wait, she's here too? The passage of their souls between worlds may have doomed the Earth to apocalypse, but Alex and Michelle won't be there to see it and they have enough problems on their hands.
 

 

---

 
Author's Note: I'm still fighting a terrible cold and have very little energy, so this will probably be the only thing I post on BCTS this week. I need to work up the energy to try to catch up on some stuff for Patreon. Thanks to my readers and to BCTS for giving their support of transgender authors and fiction. ~Amethyst.
 

---

 
Chapter 12: Duty

The next morning, I seemed to be over my Tahrin, as Trevas and I had no issues being in the same room during our morning Healing lesson. Now that I could think clearly, though, I had a lot of questions I wanted to ask my mom about this. I also had the opportunity to do so since Patar would be away from the palace that day to scout out a good location for our base in Lannik Pass.

Once our morning lesson was finished, Jezz went outside to join our Drakans in the mid-morning sun, and I promised to join them soon before heading to the throne room to find my mother. Sure, we probably could have talked telepathically, but personally, I find that a talk is much more personal when you’re with the person physically. Not seeing a person’s face when you’re talking with them creates a distance that makes it easier to disregard a person’s feelings. In that way, telepathy with no empathy is a lot like talking on the phone or online.

Mom was just finishing talking to a tall Zenin woman with tabby coloring and flame-red hair when I entered the throne room. Not many Zenin had that coloring, or were that tall, so I figured that it was probably Isra Perewin. The Perewin family has been loyal vassals of the Misalet family for generations. I had met Isra’s parents and most of their seven children through palace functions over the past tenth.

Isra was likely the only member of that family that I hadn’t met yet, actually. She was only two passes older than I was, but had proven herself to be a capable diplomat. That was why she had spent the past two tenths in Syrnia, on the other side of the Frozen Wastes, trying to improve Azure’s political relationship with their newly elected High Council.

My mother noticed me entering the room and waved me over to our thrones, so I quickly moved to sit beside her on my own. “Good morning, Mother,” I said as I took my seat and waited to be properly introduced.

“Good morning, Alexis,” she replied. “This is Isra Perewin. She just returned from negotiating a trade agreement and alliance with Syrnia. I am very pleased with her efforts and have decided to reward her.”

I smiled at the tabby Zenin before us. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Isra. Mother has told me that your family has always served us well. I am glad to see that you continue that tradition of fealty.” I felt bad that I couldn’t say more. Isra’s mother had told me that before she had been sent to Syrnia, Isra had been very close to Visanee, almost like an older sister. I saw the confirmation of that in the sadness of her eyes and the emotions that I was sensing with my empathic Gift.

“It is my pleasure to see you again, Your Highness,” she replied. “I was saddened to hear of your memory loss, but overjoyed when I heard of you becoming a Chosen and of your Gifting.” I could sense the sisterly love, sadness, and pride coming off her as she spoke. There was something else as well, something that felt a lot like guilt.

I looked at her, confused for a moment, and decided to just get this out of the way now. “You feel guilty about something, Isra. Could you please tell me what?”

Her expression was pained and ashamed as she looked at the floor. “I fear that your condition may have been my fault, Your Highness. I was told that you were found in the Frozen Wastes. I cannot see much reason for you to have been out there so close to your Giftsun unless you were traveling to see someone.” Her guilt made it clear that she felt that this was the case and that she was likely the one that Visanee was going to see. “Even if that was not the case, had I been here, perhaps I could have convinced you not to do anything foolish.”

I shook my head sadly. I didn’t think anyone could have discouraged Visanee, and she certainly hadn’t ended up in that frozen wasteland while looking for her friend. “I do not blame you, Isra. The blame falls solely on me.” That was true. Had I not been the one who had traded places with her, Visanee’s plan may have succeeded, and she would still be alive somewhere. “I don’t remember anything about my life before, but I have heard that we were like sisters, so please call me Alex. I hope that we can rebuild what we lost and become that close again.”

Her guilt faded, not completely, but a little. She even managed a smile at that as she replied, “I would like that, Yo… Alex. I am sure that we have a lot to talk about.”

Mom chose that moment to speak again. “You girls will have plenty of time to catch up and get to know one another since Isra will be staying with us while she learns to manage her estates. I thought that she might use Jezz’s rooms since Jezz is practically living with you anyway,” she said with a slightly playful smirk.

I grinned in response. “Oh, I don’t mind that, and I’m sure Jezz won’t either.” Then the other thing she said hit me. “Learns to manage her estates?”

Mom nodded. “I have decided to appoint Isra as the new Countess of Kamnis. She will be having a proxy run the lands for her while she learns more about managing an estate and makes contacts in Court.”

I thought it was great that she was giving the position to someone who was obviously loyal to the crown and worked hard for us. Then again, anyone would have been a relief after Halan’s family. “Congratulations, Isra,” I said with a smile, “from what I’ve heard, you deserve it.”

I could feel pride and a bit of embarrassment from her as she replied, “Thank you, Alex.”

Mom smiled at the tabby Zenin and said, “Would you mind waiting outside for a few moments, Isra? I think that Alexis would like to speak with me, and then I would like to discuss the trade agreement and your lessons on estate management.”

“Of course, Your Majesty,” she said with a curtsy as she got up and left the throne room to give us some privacy.

Mom turned to smile at me once it was just the two of us. “What did you need to talk about, dear Alexis?”

I squirmed a bit in my throne and wondered if telepathically holding this conversation wouldn't have been better after all. “I was hoping, now that I’m thinking clearly again, that you could answer some questions about the Tahrin.”

Her head bobbed up and down in a nod as she gave me a reassuring smile. “I thought it might be that. I’ll answer whatever I can. I should have talked to you about this when you first came to us, but it slipped my mind, and after that, you were adapting so well that I forgot at times that you weren’t born here.”

“It’s no wonder it slipped your mind with all that was happening when I got here,” I admitted before I asked my first question. “This Tahrin is basically like when other felines go into heat, right? Most cats aren’t sexually active except at that time, but I have been feeling sexual desire in varying degrees since Jezz and I started getting close. Why do we have it if we can be sexually active at any time?”

Mom considered my question for a moment before answering. “We believe that we and other felines all have a common ancestor somewhere. We still have many of the biological traits those ancient felines had, and this is one of those traits. It may be redundant, but it’s a part of us that we get used to. Most of us see it as a convenient way of knowing when we can expand our families, even if the Tahrin itself can make things uncomfortable for us while we have it.”

“So, like a built-in form of family planning?” I asked.

“Yes, you could say that,” she answered with another faint smile and a nod.

“Okay,” I replied as I went on to my next question. “Is it always so difficult to get through without mating?”

She shook her head at that. “It is elevated during the teenage passes, while your body develops and becomes that of a grown Zenin woman. Usually, there is a lot more sexual desire during this period in general, and then when the Tahrin happens, it elevates those feelings even more. Normally, it becomes more bearable once we are out of our teens and not as… prolific.”

That actually made sense to me. Having high hormone levels in general during puberty isn’t surprising, just look at Human teens. So, it’s not much of a stretch that the Tahrin would be at a high level too until puberty is over and the body’s hormone levels balance out. “So, if I really don’t want to have children yet, what do I do if I’m worried that I might give in?”

“Thus far, you have done a fine job of controlling yourself, my dear. A strong will and sense of self are what separate us from the neetays and other felines. We don’t need to let our instincts control us. You can keep trying to get through it that way, or there are other ways.” I could sense that she was embarrassed by something, and I gave her a curious look. She looked back in my eyes and sighed, “I must admit that when you told me about the Tahrin a few suns ago, I was worried for you and took some precautions, just in case you could not manage without mating.”

“What kind of precautions?” I asked.

“The tea that I had Felice include in your midday meals was made from bloodblossom leaves.” Seeing the confusion on my face, she quickly explained. “Bloodblossom tea can be used to prevent unwanted pregnancies. I was hoping that it would not be necessary, though, since I know how uncomfortable you have been alone with men since the incident with Halan.”

I winced at that but nodded. “Yeah, that’s most of what kept me from doing anything. I don’t really know if I’m ready to be a mom yet, but it was the thought of going off alone with a guy, especially for that, which was really bothering me.” I didn’t even realize I had started trembling and closed my eyes until I opened them when Mom put her arms around me. “Thanks, Mom, I’ll be okay. I can’t believe how stupid I am, though.”

“How so?” she asked, confused.

“I learned about bloodblossom in my Healing studies, and I didn’t pay as much attention as I should have, since I didn’t think I would ever need to think about preventing pregnancy.” I made a face as I remembered the taste of that tea. “I was wondering why my tea was so bitter. I had to use extra loiku in it.”

Something about the look on my face sent my mother into a minor fit of laughter. Once she could breathe and speak again, though, she offered an apology. “I am sorry, I should have warned you. Did you have any other questions?”

I nodded but hesitated a moment before finally saying, “I don’t want to bring up any possibly sore topics, but I need to ask. Most Zenin families I’ve met are really large, and that’s not surprising given the Tahrin and the fact that I now know that monogamy isn’t a big thing here. I was wondering why I’m an only child.”

I could see the flash of pain in her eyes and feel it in my mind as she answered carefully, “You were not. Visanee was born with her twin sister Aleen, but there was a problem during the birth. I could conceive no more children after that, and Aleen did not survive.”

It was my turn to hug and comfort her. “I’m so sorry, Mom, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“It is fine, Alexis,” she replied softly from my arms. “It was a long time ago, and now I have a beautiful, caring, and strong daughter to be my heir. Grandchildren would be nice someday, but I will not ask you to produce an heir until you feel ready.”

“Thanks, Mom,” I said as I hugged her tighter. “As hard as everything here has been to adjust to, I’m glad that I could be your daughter. I have never met a stronger and more caring woman than you in either world.” We stayed like that for a short time, comforting one another and just being a mother and daughter without all the extra baggage of ruling a country. Then the reality of the upcoming war hit me, and I realized that I should probably try to have a child before that to continue the line, in case the unthinkable happened. I might not feel ready, but it was my duty to my country. So, I finally asked, “How long does it take for Zenin to carry a child to full term?”

I guess my mother had been thinking along similar lines because I felt some relief and a touch of pride from her as she replied, “Six tenths. If you tried for one on your next Tahrin, you could probably have it before hostilities begin.”

I did some mental calculations. Six tenths was about thirty weeks in Earth time. Ten weeks shorter than a human gestational cycle, so around seven and a half months to carry a child to term. I sighed, “I’m going to have to talk with Jezz about this, but I think that she’ll understand. I’ll also need to figure out which lucky Zenin boy I feel comfortable enough with to father the child. You said that I was a twin? How ironic is that? Michelle and I were twins on Earth. Are multiple births common among Zenin?”

“I understand, my dear, and I’m sure that Jezz will as well.” She thought about my questions before nodding her head and informing me, “Multiple births are not uncommon. Single births are the usual, but it is not uncommon for some Zenin families to have a long history of multiple births, either.”

“Hooray for Zenin,” I said without much enthusiasm. “Thanks for the talk, Mom. I guess I had better go get this talk with Jezz over with. I’ll send Isra back in as I leave.”

Something was bothering Alex; Michelle just knew it. She had tried probing her thoughts, but it was like her Chosen was deliberately shutting her out. She did not like that thought at all. Maybe the whole thing with Halan and then her Tahrin was making her use avoidance techniques again. Maybe it was something to do with the discussion she planned on having with the Queen. Michelle just didn’t know, and not knowing bothered her a lot.

Pounce was napping under one of the yalk trees while Grayle and Jezz played a form of tag. Jezz would make flying passes and try to touch Grayle without letting her Drakan touch her in return. The pair had tried to get Michelle to play as well, but she was just too worried about Alex to get involved. She may not be picking up her Chosen’s thoughts, but she could still feel her emotions. The conversation with her mother had caused confusion, sadness, worry, and that sense of duty in Alex that she far too often of late let override her own concerns. She watched the wall of the castle, hoping that Alex would come out soon.

I collected a picnic lunch, some blankets, and Chrissy before I planned to use my ring to teleport to Jezz and the others. A lot had been on my mind, and I had been consciously keeping my thoughts from Michelle during and since my talk with my mother. It wasn’t that I was hiding things from her; it was just that I didn’t want her snickering in the background while I tried having a serious discussion with Jezz. I could feel her worry, and it bothered me, so I sent her some reassurance. ~I’m fine, Sis. I’ll be right out.~

~Never shut me out like that again! I’ve been worried sick!~

I sighed and touched the ring. ~Sorry, Sis, I just need to talk to all of you about something, and I wanted to do it all at the same time. I didn’t mean to worry you.~ Once I had rematerialized at the lake shore, I put the picnic basket and the blankets down on a nice dry spot and went to give Michelle a tight hug. By the time that I was done showing her some love, Jezz had already set up the blankets and laid our lunch out. So, once I had sat down on the blanket beside my Cinole lover, I took a deep breath and gently grasped Jezz’s hand. ~We need to talk.~ I told her seriously.

~What did you find out from Her Majesty, my love?~ Jezz asked.

~Three things,~ I replied. ~I found out that I had a twin that died in childbirth, and the complications prevented Mom from having any other kids. I also found out that the Tahrin is only so bad because I’m still going through puberty. Elevated hormone levels make it worse, but it should be more bearable once my body has completely matured. The third thing I found out is that the horrible tea that we’ve been having with our lunch the past few suns was bloodblossom tea. Mom decided to take some precautions.~

~Well, that stuff is all good to know,~ Michelle put in, sounding relieved. ~And it was good of your mom to take precautions. I know I may joke, but you are nowhere near old enough to be getting pregnant. You’re just barely eighteen.~

~About that…~ I took a deep breath to calm myself. ~I need to try for a baby during my next Tahrin.~

A chorus of ~What?!?~ rang through my brain. This was quickly followed by Michelle’s mind voice yelling, ~Are you insane?!? What did I just say?! You’re too young to be having kids, what are you thinking?!?~

I groaned and rubbed at my aching head as I carefully replied, ~It’s not uncommon for girls my age to marry and have kids here, Michelle. I am legally an adult now, you know. I would be even on Earth. As for what I’m thinking, I’m thinking that we’re going to be going to war in eight or nine tenths if our intel is right. A Zenin's gestation is only six tenths, so if I get pregnant during my next Tahrin I could have the baby and have a bit of recovery time before things get crazy.~

~You’re the one getting crazy! Why in the hell would you want to have children just before a war starts?!?~ Michelle fumed.

~It’s her responsibility, Michelle. She needs to do her duty and have an heir. I understand, and I support your decision, my love,~ Jezz offered as she squeezed my hand tightly.

I breathed a sigh of relief, but Michelle wasn’t finished yet. ~Well, of course, she needs to have an heir someday, but can’t it wait until after? Bringing a baby into the world on purpose when you know a war is about to start is just cruel.~

~Fuck you, Michelle! Do you think I really want to do this?!?~ I snapped. ~This needs to be done soon. Think about it. We are going to war! What if the unthinkable happens and both my mother and I die?! If there is no heir, this whole country returns to swamps, volcanoes, earthquakes, the works! This has to be done for Itari, for my family line, for the whole damn country! People need the reassurance that if I die, there is still an heir after me. The people of Azure need to know that, especially during the uncertainty of war! And I am the only person who can do it!~

I was shaking now, and my outburst had caused us all to go quiet, both physically and mentally. The only sound was my sniffling as I cried out my anger, hurt, uncertainty, and fear. Jezz held me close, caressing my back to try to soothe me. Finally, Michelle’s mental voice broke the silence. ~I’m sorry, Alex, that was uncalled for. I know you better than that, and I should have known you had a good reason for doing this. This decision was probably hard enough for you to make without me making things worse.~

~You’re damned right it was uncalled for! You have no idea how hard it was to come to this decision!~ Jezz continued to try to calm me down, and Chrissy moved nervously around my throat, picking up on my agitation. After a time, I managed to calm down enough to address Michelle with more composure. ~I’m sorry for being bitchy, Sis, but that really hurt. I love you, and I don’t want to fight with you, especially over a situation that only has one solution.~

I could feel her mental nod and her regret for what she had said. ~I’m sorry too, Alex, and you’re right. I guess you don’t have much of a choice in this.~

~She doesn’t have any choice in this,~ Grayle corrected.

~Not true,~ Michelle countered. ~Sure, she needs to have an heir soon, but she does have one choice. She can choose the father. So, tell us, Alex,~ she teased to try and lighten the mood, ~which lucky Zenin boy is going to get to bone the princess?~

There was some confusion from both Grayle and Jezz at her choice of phrase, but I could feel my lover’s head nod as she held me. ~She’s right. Have you decided on someone yet, my love?~

I shook my head. ~All that I know is that I don’t want to shut out the father; I want him involved in the child’s life. And it’s not going to be one of the jerks from the nobility who think fathering the child of a naíve princess will give them the throne. You will be my Consort, Jezz, nobody else… that is, if you want to be.~

I could feel the warmth and the love from her mind as she answered, ~I would like nothing more, my love, if that is your wish. So, we will decide together on the father and whether we want to add them to our relationship just long enough to father the child, or permanently. If you want them to be involved, it should be someone that we can both agree on to add permanently.~

~I’m still not really sure how these multi-person relationships work here, Jezz,~ I replied with a sigh.

~It’s simple, my love,~ Jezz lovingly assured me. ~We will wed first if you wish for me to be your Consort and primary spouse. After that, we can add people to our relationship on either a temporary or permanent basis, so long as we have both agreed to it. Most family groups don’t have more than four permanent spouses, though I have heard of some with as many as eight. If we decide to permanently add another person or a couple to our relationship officially and legally, they need to be added in additional ceremonies.~

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. ~Jezz, do you even like men like that? Enough to add one into our relationship?~

She smiled and kissed me. ~I am like you, my love. I am attracted to people, regardless of gender, but I prefer people with whom I feel a connection. I am hoping that our similarities and closeness will make it easier to choose someone whom we both like to add to our relationship and father a child. We only have four sevensuns to choose someone, though, if you’re serious about getting pregnant during your next Tahrin.~

I kissed her back softly. ~Well, that does make things easier. I know that Trevas is interested in me, but I think that things would be awkward with him, and he’s not really my type. Neither is Tarn, and I really don’t know many Zenin guys our age who aren’t nobles trying to get an arranged marriage with me. I’d rather have someone loyal who wants us for who we are, and not our connection to the throne. Are there any Zenin guys that have caught your eye?~

~Jonth is pretty cute and loyal, though he’s shy, so we would have to get to know him a bit to see if he’s a good match. He does seem to like us, though. It’s obvious he’s attracted to you, even without the Tahrin, my love,~ was her reply.

~I think he and Lannah are interested in each other, though.~ I answered with a giggle. Then I added, ~She was taking advantage of my Tahrin to ‘get to know him better’. Though she did offer an invitation for us to join them.~

Jezz’s first response was a throaty giggle as she kissed my neck. ~Yes, my love, I think Lannah is attracted to us too. If they are a couple, it could make things interesting, not to mention fun. I like her. She has a nice sense of humor, she’s sweet, and she’s attractive. Even if she’s not interested in more, I think we will be good friends.~

I snorted at that. ~I’m pretty sure that she’s interested in more; she just doesn’t want to push it. Remember, dear, I am an empath. I didn’t want to take her up on her little offer because I didn’t want to complicate both of our relationships, and I’m still used to Earth’s relationship customs.~

~So, what do we do then?~ she asked. ~If Lannah and Jonth are both interested, it could be fun seeing if we could make it work with the four of us. Granted, it is a bit uncommon to have a Human, a Cinole, and a Zenin all in the same relationship, though.~

I was about to reply when Michelle started mentally giggling. ~That sounds like the start of a bad joke. ‘A Human, a Cinole, and a Zenin walk into a bar…’ Anyway, if you two plan on putting the moves on them, you’re going to have to work quickly. What is the general feeling on pregnancy before marriage here, Jezz?~

~It happens sometimes, especially with Zenin, but it is not really frowned upon,~ she replied. ~Usually, the heir is wed beforehand, though. Due to the need for female heirs, the royal family in Azure normally wed young, often within a pass of their Giftsun if they find a compatible person. Royal weddings are always a big event, and they give people almost as much hope for the future as the birth of a princess.~

I kissed her softly and smiled. ~We should get to work on that then, Jezz.~

Her eyes opened wide as we kissed. ~Are you asking me to wed you? We’ve only been together for a tenth.~

I grinned at her. ~We are in one another’s minds right now, my love. We know each other better than anyone, and we both know that we love one another. The feelings in our minds and hearts can’t be wrong, and I can read both on you, Jezz. I know that you feel the same way about me that I do about you. So yes, I am asking you to marry me. Will you do it?~

I could feel her joy and her love wash over me, and it was beautiful. ~Of course I will! You said it yourself, that what we both feel can’t be wrong. We will need to inform Her Majesty about this, my love. She will want to start planning, and there isn’t much time if you want to do this before getting pregnant.~

~I think she suspects as much already, since she told me you could live with me in my rooms now. We will talk to her about this at dinner. Now, what do we do about the whole getting pregnant thing? I’m a little uneasy about just coming out and asking Jonth to do that,~ I said a bit nervously.

~Well, duh! He hasn’t even bought you dinner yet,~ Michelle joked.

~Very funny, Sis, but I was being serious,~ I retorted.

Jezz snuggled up close to me. ~Let’s get together with him and Lannah and get to know them both a bit better when we all get free time. We will give it a bit of time, and if we both feel it is right, we will pursue it. That way, there is no pressure until you know whether you are comfortable with and like him enough to ask it.~

I nodded and kissed her again. ~We do have the afternoon free; how would you girls feel about a swim to go play with Snow and Xuth after we eat?~

~That sounds like a fine idea,~ Grayle responded. ~It will be nice to get off the island and play with someone other than Michelle. Not that you are boring or anything, Michelle, it will just be a nice change of pace.~

Soon after that decision was made, one of the older Drakan pairs delivered lunch for Grayle and Michelle, and Jezz and I ate our own meal. Once we had finished, and I had returned the basket to the castle, Jezz and I rode our Drakans as they swam across the lake to the land that I had deeded to our four protectors. Jonth and Xuth were playing in the water, so they were pretty easy to find, and it looked like Lannah and Snow were watching from the shore. We waved as we approached, and soon we were sitting on the shore with the other Chosen pair as our Drakans all played in the lake under the hot afternoon sun.

Jonth was the first to speak when we were all more comfortably arranged. “I sense that you are feeling better now, Your Highness. It is nice to be able to think clearly around you again. I’m so glad that’s over.”

I nodded in agreement. “Yeah, it’s so good being able to think again, and not being set off by every male Zenin around. The past three suns were pretty rough.”

He leaned back against a tree and sighed. “I know exactly what you mean. That was pretty bad. That was the first time that I’ve ever felt it from this side…” He quickly shut his mouth as if he had just realized that he had said the wrong thing. I felt his usual nervousness around me spiking, and I could sense fear and sadness from him as well.

All three of us girls turned to look at him intently. “What did you mean by that, Jonth?” Lannah asked.

The fear and nervousness increased as he realized that we had indeed noticed what he said. “It’s not important,” he tried brushing it off.

I frowned at that. “Jonth, I need to be able to trust you, and I know that there is something that you are hiding, something that bothers you a lot. Please, you can trust us; we’re supposed to be friends. I could order you to tell me, or Lannah and I could read your mind, but I would rather you just feel comfortable enough with us to tell us on your own. I really need to know if this could be something that could cause us all problems or danger in the future.”

The grey Zenin sighed and looked at us all with fear in his eyes. “Please promise me that this will just be between the four of us and our Drakans. It’s not anything dangerous, just… personal.” After we all had nodded in agreement, he swallowed hard and began speaking again. “The Giftsun is a big sun for a lot of people. Some people’s lives are changed by getting powerful Gifts, others are just changed. The Priestess of Selune told me that my gift would be a minor one, so I wasn’t really expecting my life to change all that much when she gave me my Gift. It changed more than I ever thought. Before my Gifting, my name was… Jannith.”

We all stared at him for a long moment. Jannith was a common girl’s name. “You were a girl?!” Lannah blurted out.

He nodded slowly as he answered, and I could tell that he was embarrassed by the admission. “Yes, I was. I didn’t get much of a Gift, but sometimes Gifting can cause physical changes in addition to a person’s Gifts. Usually, the changes are small, like hair or eye color or different markings on the fur. The priestess said that extreme changes like this do not happen very often. So, you see, Your Highness, I know what you felt like going through your Tarhin. That is why I was trying very hard to just do my training and not bother you by adding myself to what was probably a long line of men wanting to mate with you.”

I tried giving him a reassuring smile. “I appreciate that; it must have been hard having your gender changed like that.” I meant it too. I had enough trouble of my own adjusting, and I had wanted to be a girl.

He nodded sadly, his head hung low. “It was. There was a boy that I was thinking of wedding someday, but he is not attracted to men, and I no longer am either. Everyone started treating me differently, too. To tell the truth, I was glad to be Chosen just so I could leave home and get away from all that. I was a bit afraid that all of you would treat me differently, too, if you knew that I used to be a girl.”

Lannah took his hands and smiled at him. “Jonth, it does not matter to me what you were before. All that matters to me is who you are now. I’m sure that Jezz and Her Highness feel the same.”

“Ya, it dun matter t’ me if ya were a girl afore. Yer a cute an' nice man now, an’ gender has never been that important t’ me,” Jezz put in quickly.

I snorted in a very unladylike manner and tried not to laugh. “Believe me when I say that I am the last person who should judge somebody who has gone through something like that.” Both of my guards gave me curious looks at that, and I considered whether I should tell them or not. Jonth had trusted us with his secret, and I knew that both he and Lannah were trustworthy and loyal. I also felt that if we were going to try to convince Jonth to help me get pregnant, he deserved to know the truth; they both deserved it. With a long sigh and a good scratching of Chrissy to help calm myself, I felt around with my empathy to make sure we were alone.

Finally, once I was certain it was safe, I gave them a serious look and said quietly, “What I am about to tell you, you can’t tell anyone. You must swear to take this secret to your graves.”

Both seemed a bit taken aback by this, but I could also feel that they would not betray me or the trust that I was showing them. I could tell from the feelings radiating from them both as they quickly said, almost in unison, “I swear, Your Highness.”

Once those words left their lips, I nodded and began relating the story of how Visanee had traded places with me, and then, as she lay dying, sent Michelle here to stand by my side. Neither of them interrupted as I spoke; they just listened attentively, though the awe and respect in their faces and emotions said quite a bit. Finally, I finished the story with, “So you see, Jonth, before I was snatched from Earth, I was Human and male. I may have wanted to be a girl, but that doesn’t make adjusting to a new gender much easier.”

Jonth shook his head with a smile. “I thought that I was the only one; it’s such a relief to know I am not alone in this. You are adjusting well, Your Highness. I never guessed that you were anything but our Princess. You have managed to get through your first moon cycle and Tahrin, so you’re through the worst of it now, I think.”

Lannah was giggling and smiling. “That explains why your speech and mind speech are so hard to understand sometimes. I was wondering about that. It also explains your difficulty with multiple partner relationships. He is right, though, Alex, you have done a great job so far.”

“Thanks, you two, but please, Jonth, just call me Alex. I am trying my best to be a good Princess for Azure and to learn everything I’ll need to know,” I replied. “I’m working on the whole polyamorous relationship thing too.”

Lannah winked at me and grinned. “I know that you are deeply in love with Jezz, but if you need any help with the relationship issue, you and Jezz would be more than welcome to come join us for more than just talking any time you like, right Jonth?”

Jonth nodded and gave a grin of his own. “Of course they would. I may not have wanted to pressure you during your Tahrin, Alex, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t jump at the chance to share a bed with you. You and Jezz both are beautiful, smart, fun, and incredibly kind people, and I would be a fool not to be interested.” He didn’t even mention the fact that I was the princess; it just didn’t seem important to him. I liked that.

I smiled at the pair. “Thank you both. I would like to get to know you both a bit better first, but if we all get along as well as I think we will, then it’s a very good possibility that we will take you up on that offer soon.”

We all talked about ourselves for a while after that. I told them about my life on Earth and how Michelle and I were adjusting. Jezz talked about growing up in a small farming village with not many Gifted people around. Lannah told us all about growing up in the capital, and how she had felt pressured to do great things just because she was born on the same day as Visanee. She also worried about being in the shadow of her parents, who had been citizens of the empire before helping to free thirty-two non-human slaves and get them to Azure.

As for Jonth, he told us about his life before his Gifting, and since, and how he was coping with it all. As time passed, he was getting more comfortable and confident with us and even told some off-color jokes. The change was nice to see in the normally quiet and shy Zenin.

Finally, we all fell into a group discussion about things like our wonderful Drakans, our hobbies and interests, and life in Azure. They were able to teach me a few things that couldn’t be found in books and that had slipped Jezz’s mind as well. Jonth and Lannah even offered to teach Jezz and me how to play Kaltok, a strategic board game, when we got a chance. Overall, they were both good people, and I thought that the talk brought us all closer together. It was as we talked about our Gifts and creative uses we had found for them, that Jezz just had to tell them about my empathy and the best kiss ever.

To say that Lannah and Jonth were intrigued would be a gross understatement. Eventually, after a bit of cajoling from Jezz, I consented to give them a demonstration. I was a little worried it wouldn’t work if those involved didn’t enjoy the kiss enough to start the feedback loop. I kissed Lannah first, and we both enjoyed it a lot. Jonth was next, but I also worried with him that I just might not enjoy kissing a guy, or I might panic, so I decided it was only fair to warn him ahead of time.

I needn’t have worried. Jonth was a good kisser, and he made me feel wanted and respected rather than violated as I had feared. It could have been the emotions coming from him, the fact that he was a friend, or the fact that Jezz and Lannah were there in case anything happened, but I did greatly enjoy the kiss, and I made sure that he did too.

Once Jonth, Lannah, and all three of our Drakans were lying down with looks of bliss on their faces, matching the one I was sure I wore myself, Jezz joked about feeling left out. I should have known that she was only trying to get a ‘best kiss’ buzz of her own. I was just glad I was getting better control of my Wilder empathy enough to block out the animals, or Pounce and Chrissy would feel it too. I gave her what she wanted, though, and once she and Grayle had joined us in the ranks of the blissed, we all lay down together for a time just enjoying the company until it was time to head back to the palace for dinner.