Orphan Petal 33

Orphan Petal

January 2024 - Part 1

Things are about to change in Shirleys life

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Doctor Mary
Things are warming up now, and no one knows how things will turn out. Jason has left the orphanage and been adopted by a couple who could not accept Shirley's way. There is also a chance that a nice couple will adopt Susan. The problem here is how this will affect Shirley. Everyone is being adopted except him. I am afraid he will feel lonely and alone. On top of all this, Mr Dickens is starting to think that Shirley may not be transgender and uses it as a way of getting attention. So much confusion….

Susan
This nice couple wants to adopt me, and I told Mr Dickens that I do not want to be adopted. Why did I do this? I should be jumping at a chance to get adopted. It isn't because I am afraid of getting a family. This was a day that I had always dreamt about. I always wanted to have a family and not just be a forgotten child in the child services. Then why did I say no? That is what I have been asking myself since I told Mr Dickens that I did not want to be adopted. I suppose the reason was that the prospect of being adopted did not excite me. I was quite happy where I was now. I had Shirley as my best friend, with whom I could hang out all the time. Even Aunty was nicer to me and seemed to have more time for me. I said no because I did not want to ruin the happiness that I now have. It could be the stupidest decision I've made in my life.

Aunty
Dickens told Doctor Philomena that she would no longer be seeing Shirley, and this means that Shirley has been seeing Dr Mary. She was the shrink who helped my nephew years ago. She knows how much I manipulated Allie and how much this confused him and caused so much drama. This woman does not like me. Will she think I have done the same with Shirley? To be honest, I do not think I have done anything wrong. I have done my best to support him. I could have told him that his feminine and babyish ways were bad and “woke” and would only lead to trouble. I did not. My intention with Shirley was to support him in finding his identity.

Shirley
Susan wanted to have a serious talk today. She told me that she said no to a couple who wanted to adopt her. I could not get her to say why she would refuse such an offer. It was an orphan's dream to be adopted. I hate serious talks. It means that I have to listen to others' problems when I have my own. It also means that I am expected to say something wise. The only answer I could think of giving her was that maybe it's a wise decision. She had to like the idea of getting adopted. If part of her did not want this, then she had to listen to that part of herself.

Jason
Things are going well with the Sterlings. I get everything that I want. It's nice being in a rich family. At the same time, I am worried. They do not know that I am gay, and who knows what their reaction will be if they ever find out. There is a chance that they could find out, as Austin has told the world that he is gay. We try to hide the fact that we are boyfriends, but people will find out at some stage. It's hard keeping secrets from the Sterlings. Maybe I won't have to when I find an ounce of bravery in me.

Austin
Everyone now knows that I am gay. Some call it coming out of the closet, which is a phrase I never understood. I will admit that everyone knowing has taken a lot of weight off my shoulders. Most others at school don’t tease and bully me because of it. It's as if they do not care. A few do tease and call names, but they are just morons. The important thing is that the world now can see me for who I am. When we think about it, one's sexuality is a very small thing about a person's personality. There is so much more to being a person than who we are attracted to.

Dr Mary
Shirley and I had a therapy session today. We spoke about Austin. Shirley was quite honest that he hurt Austin when he started at the child's home. He told everyone that Austin was gay, and this caused a lot of embarrassment and trouble for Austin. Shirley answered that he was not a nice boy at the time. He still regrets that he did it because Austin was about the closest he had as a friend at the time. Austin ended up forgiving Shirley, and although they are not close friends, they are friendly with each other. Shirley said something interesting, and that was that the fact that Austin is gay is now known by everyone. I finished by suggesting that it must be hard to feel alone in this world or be afraid.

Mr Dickens
The wedding is planned for next month. While Aunty is planning and panicking over the smallest thing, I am thinking more about the future. So without asking Aunty, I bought us a house. It is a nice old house with lots of space. When we get married, we cannot live in the child's home. We need privacy and our own space as husband and wife. The child's home will become our working place and not our home. It was very risky buying a house without consulting Aunty, but she was very excited when she saw it. She ran around the house like an excited child at Christmas. I am so glad that she did not get mad that she had no say in the house.

Aunty
It is hard at work at the moment. I cannot concentrate on working with the children because I am so preoccupied with the wedding. A wedding should be fun and a celebration, but let's face it, it takes a lot of planning. You have to plan the ceremony and the party afterwards. Then there are things like the wedding dress, decorations and food. It is enough to stress a person out. On top of all this, my future husband just bought us a house. He did not ask me about it and just surprised me by showing me the house. Luckily, I adore it and would have chosen the same house. In a way, I am glad that he took some initiative and purchased the house, as that was something that I did not have to stress myself about.

Shirley
Aunty is getting married to Mr Dickens. I do not know what she sees in him. Well… I suppose he is nice, and he does care, but does all this mean that Aunty will have less time for me? She asked me today if I will be the flower boy… I mean, flower girl. I don’t know what it's called, but she did show me a dress that I would be wearing. It is a white, fluffy dress with some lace and a silver ribbon around the waist. She told me I would look pretty with the dress, white tights and white sandals, as well as white flowers in my hair. Of course, I agreed to be the flower child, as it seems so important for Aunty. She loves Dickens, and she deserves to be happy.

Austin
I am happy that Jason is my boyfriend. It's not utopia that we have to keep it a secret. At the same time that I am happy, I can see that Jason seems troubled. I tried talking to him about it, and he says that it is good that school and my family support that I am gay. Then it hit me like a bus: Jason is afraid of what others will think about his sexuality, especially his new family. What could I say to him, as I do not want him to be hurt and think that he has to keep secrets? I told him that everyone has accepted Shirley's strange sissy ways, and people have accepted that I am gay. People will also support Jason, as one's sexuality does not define who a person is. It is only part of who we are. It's not as if we hurt anyone because we are gay. Jason shrugged his shoulders and reminded me how the Sterlings treated Shirley.

Susan
Shirley and I were asked to be flower girls. Shirley was so excited when he saw the dress we would be wearing. I was not. I always hated dresses and looking too girly. I did show a fake smile when I saw the dress. Then I admit that I did smile when I realised how odd it is that a boy gets excited over a dress and a girl does not. I feel honoured that I will be a flower girl, as Aunty never paid that much attention to me. It is only one day that I will have to wear a dress, and I can survive that. It will make people happy.

Dr Mary
Shirley came today and was excited that he had a role at the wedding. I discussed a sensitive topic with him. I asked him if he was afraid of being alone. He was alone when his parents died. He was alone when he came to the children's home after the foster family didn’t work out. Austin and Jason were adopted, and Susan was nearly adopted. Shirley must have felt unwanted and alone after his trial period with the Sterlings didn’t work out. On top of all this, Aunty and Dickens are getting married and probably will not be at the children's home full-time. Shirley just shrugged his shoulders and said these people are still in his life. I finished the session by asking Shirley to think of how the fear of being alone has made him change himself. Has it changed his personality? As usual, Shirley was very quiet, but I knew this meant that he was thinking.

Jason
Should I tell my new parents I am gay? I found myself doing something that I never thought I would do. I asked Shirley for advice. This was a dangerous thing to do, as I feared that the discussion would end up with him talking about himself. We were in his bedroom when I blurted out that I am gay and Austin is my boyfriend. Shirley sat quietly for a while and answered that he never understood why people are gay, but it explained a lot of what he noticed about Austin and me. I told Shirley that the Sterlings do not know, and it is so hard to keep a secret. This gave Shirley the chance to start talking about himself. He told his story of how the Sterlings could not accept his feminine ways. He gave no advice except that maybe being gay is not as bad as wearing dresses. It didn’t help speaking with Shirley. This is something I had to figure out myself.

Susan
Today, we found out that Aunty and Dickens would not be living at the children's home after they were married. They would still work here, which is good. It will be hard for Shirley that Aunty will not be here all the time, as he tends to cling to her. If it's hard for Shirley that Aunty will not be here all the time, then it will be hard for me, as it's I who will have to listen to Shirley's whining.