Okay, so Ethan’s World has been posted in its entirety and, for better or worse, no more will be added to that tale. It’s tempting to go on—I do love those characters so much and I miss interacting with them every day as I did during the months-long writing process, but the fact is that I wouldn’t know where to take up the banner and march on. The ending is the ending, they all live happily ever after (which is a rarity nowadays, or so one would think), so perhaps the thing is best left alone. Anything more and I’d just mess it up and lie in regret, berating myself with “Why did you do that?”

What remains, however, is how much I miss Ethan and Dani and Colleen… and especially DeeDee and Niecy and all of the other characters so much (call it an illness if you like) so I figured why not scratch that itch a bit and talk about them and those parts of the story that make me so happy—writing for me has always been therapy, so there ya go. And rather than just talk to myself, why not put it all out there and share with my readers—and other writers as well!—and perhaps hear what they have to say or think… for better or worse.

Now that I’ve said all that, where to begin? Well, the ending of course…

Ethan’s World began as a collection of little forced femme aka “petticoat punishment” stories I put together for my personal amusement. More on that genre and my affinity for it later. Once I realized that this project was growing into something more than I ever expected, that this was more like a novel than a silly, frilly series of eccentric and en femme “miss-adventures,” I knew I had to start thinking, Where is all of this going? How will it end? What is it really about, other than a reluctant adolescent lad treading in the flustering waters of cross-dressing in uber-girlish attire and assuming subservient behavior.

Well, I knew that above all else I wanted a happy ending. (Not that kind, you perv…lol! Get thy mind out of the gutter. haha!) But seriously, I needed that. This wasn’t Moby Dick or Blood Meridian I was writing (Santo Jesucristo, amiright?) Real life is tough enough—duh—and in my experience the world “closure” is overused and misleading. In real life all things end badly—we all die and rarely in pleasant circumstances or with anything close to dignity. So fuck that. I wanted something… special.

I thought about Nicholas Nickleby and how Mr. Dickens talks about the wants and needs of the Victorians and their habit of rewriting literature to give audiences at the time their happy endings, like when Nicholas takes part in a production of Romeo and Juliet and how Juliet suddenly wakes up from her coma ‘cuz the priest gave her less than a lethal dose of poison and Romeo doesn’t commit suicide and everyone lives happily ever after. (‘Tis but a flesh wound, m’love.) I remember seeing the PBS production of the tale and how that episode made me laugh so hard I got tears in my eyes.

And then I thought about one of my favorite—as Ethan would say—old timey films, Support Your Local Sheriff and how at the end the wonderful actor Jack Elam says:

“Now the way this story ends... is that they get married and he goes on to become governor of the state. Never gets to Australia, but he keeps readin' a lot of books about it. I get to be sheriff of this town... and then I go on to become one of the most beloved characters in Western folklore. ”

And so the die was cast.

Yes, I know for many it comes across corny and cliche and useless and mundane, but I had so much fun writing that last chapter—and putting in all of those little bits and pieces about characters that no one will love more than I—it’s kinda sad how happy that experience was for me. I pictured it in my head like the end of a movie, minutes before the closing credits scroll—or perhaps in the age of post-credit scenes, as a post-credit scene itself. Everyone, even Marcel the photographer and Roxanne the service dog (recently retired, now that Jeffrey’s found new life and purpose) and Tara and Maddy and others get at least a cameo of sorts.

During the celebration I imagined each character on stage getting camera time, perhaps with the actor’s credit superimposed on the screen. From Ricky popping and dancing on stage like a young mutant Donald O’Connor-John Travolta to Ivey and Colleen sitting together gleefully and lovingly watching Ethan and Dani’s dance routine to Penelope blowing kisses to the crowd during Dani’s soliloquy. Everyone got their due, pairs were connected and fates all tied up in a neat little satin bow… not at all like real life, but perhaps as we might wish it could be.

I am especially happy with the epilogue with Dani and Ethan talking to the reader. That, too, was cinematic, in my humble opinion, breaking that fourth wall and all. Some say I copied Shakespeare (again)... I was thinking George Burns—look up his old 1950 sitcom… the man was a genius. I wanted Ethan to have the last words, of course, but Dani had to be the one who laid it all out. She was (is) my Jack Elam, the comic sidekick who stuck by Ethan even when she was giving him grief. In her own words:

“And me? Well, in case you hadn’t noticed, this has been my story all along. No surprise here: I go on to become a legendary Olympic skateboard champion, lead my soccer team to the World Cup, make millions off celebrity endorsements and set up my own custom skateboard line. In my spare time I go into politics and become the first woman president.”

Of course, Ethan gives her grief for once—“Don’t you make me say that word”—and when he announces her destiny we find out she’s more than meets the eye—as are most of us, n’est-ce pas?

More about Dani later in a character profile (when I get around to it).

And finally, lemme talk a bit about Ethan and those final paragraphs. He had to have the last word, of course. ‘Cuz despite Dani’s braggadocio, the tale really is about him, after all. I hope I did him justice. I think I did. I wanted to show how he eventually prevails, beyond his father’s legacy, the scars he bore at the beginning… and later the road that he travels, from his mother’s manipulation and Penelope’s meddling to Dani’s sisterly teasing, Samuel’s bullying and Claire’s betrayal… and let the story reveal to us his subtle strengths, his ingenuity, his generosity and his resilience. In the second half of the novel we see how he grows, and what he’s really made of… but in the grand finale we share in the joy he feels… the satisfaction and sense of accomplishment he reaps as he steps into the adult world as himself… his whole and new self, not just the shell of a boy, or the facade that was Emily, but his true heroic self:

The evening had already done the thing it came to do: prove that families can make a difference and one boy, if he’s strong enough and brave enough—and creative enough—can pull those families together.

He is, as I put it earlier, “Ethan rising.”

So think about that: how Ethan pulls all of those families together. What the hell am I talking about?

Lemme ‘splain.

When I think about story characters and their reason for being, I often think on the discussion about Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark and how if you took Indiana out of the story it would have all ended up the same: the Nazis would have been destroyed by the powers that be… and probably the ark would have ended up in someone’s vast warehouse, or buried in the sands of time, which is kinda the same thing. Whatever. The point is, Indiana, for all of his heroic and admittedly charming efforts, was actually and logically inconsequential to the plot—apologies to Mr. Lucas and Mr. Spielberg for my insolence—though it did make for a grand adventure tale.

Not so with Ethan. He is, unlike the whip-cracking Professor Jones, essential to the outcome of this story. Take Ethan out of his world, or just eliminate his delving into feminine things and helping his mother—take away his purpose, give him back his video games or worse, his father, for heaven’s sake—and the world is a bit darker: Colleen’s Collections would most likely be no more than a blog and a blip on Etsy—Ethan and his mother would still be living paycheck to paycheck—the relationship between O'Brien sisters would have remained fractured… and Niecy and her mom would still be living in “that part of town”... no son for Thelma, no healing moment for her... no big brother for Niecy. Don’t even get me started on how DeeDee and Smitty would never have met, there would be no Liam or Rose… how they wouldn’t have filled that void in Vivian’s heart… how Penelope would have no legacy with the Whitaker Welcome Center much less investing in the old sewing machine factory for Colleen’s Collections… no jobs for Thelma and Marianne… Jeffrey would never have met Marianne… Marianne and Ricky still grieving.

The list goes on.

I mean, who knows where Samuel would have ended up? High school dropout, if he made it that far, no mother, no little sister... or perhaps he'd have gone dark and ended up in jail or dead on the streets. And what about those people he saves that fateful day in Maplewood? Or the ones he saved as a Marine Corps chopper pilot? All. Gone.

So, you might ask: Is Ethan Jimmy Stewart? Is Clarence the angel guiding him through It’s a Wonderful Life? Does it mean every time Ethan washes the dishes an angel gets its wings?

Eh, maaaaaybeeee … lol!

I’ll probably talk about this some more later on, but I had to get that off my chest. In my eyes Ethan’s journey is the hero’s… and it is redemptive… to me, perhaps, more than to him or anyone else in his world. And the end of his story, where he gets the last words… is his reward. He is young and on the verge of adulthood, about to step into a whole new world of adventure… but he is at peace with his past and all of the things that made him who he is.

As he says at the very end:

“And I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Who among us can say that about our own past? Not me, for damned sure. I’m now seventy, recovering from a successful (?) chemo treatment and with more free time on my hands than I ever expected (frankly, I’m surprised to have lived this long considering my own past)... and I often think about the things I wish I could have changed. It’s all vanity and idiocy, of course, but that’s often the fate of old men—and as I’m seeing and hearing, old women, as well. Which is another reason I wanted to write this story. To give a character the chance to overcome adversity and eccentricity and ill-fortune and then look back and announce to the world that those are the things that made me who I am… I’m a better person for having gone through that experience… and I wouldn’t change a thing.

So that’s why I wrote this as I did. And… to steal from Ethan.., I wouldn’t change a thing.

Except for a typo or errant word or two. lol!

No, this isn’t the Odyssey and I’m not Homer (not even Simpson) nor Dickens nor Willie the Shake(speare) nor Tarantino nor McCarthy or Melville. I’m just an old man who had this thing bouncing around in my head and wanting to write one more satisfying (to me, at least) and fun (me, too) cross-dressing story before I croak. Life is short, health is fragile, so you do what you have to do. Or you don’t.

For what it’s worth–and for anyone who’s still following me (thank you very much, by the way)—I intend to post a few more thoughts on Ethan’s World involving the characters, favorite scenes and elements, the whys and wherefores and, yes, even the controversial nature of forced femme in the story. As I said, I love this story so much, I spent so much time and energy into putting it together during a time when I wasn’t feeling so well (multiple surgeries in a short span of time during your seventies is a bee-otch! lol!) … setting it aside isn’t so easy.

I appreciate all of you, each and every view, each and every comment—even those that don’t idolize my work ;)—and each and every message. If I do miss a comment or message, if I don’t respond right away or whatev, feel free to give me grief. I’m old and forgetful, but I’ll do what I can to respond.

So, I am curious... are any other writers out there as obsessed as I am with their characters? I'm sure more than a couple... especially those who've invested time enough to produce more than a few chapters. These stories and the people in them are part of our souls, if not our imaginary family. ♥

Oh, and thanks again to Erin and the BCTS team for a place that allows this kind of fellowship, fraternal or sororal or in between. It’s taken me a while to get my bearings, but it’s been worthwhile, fo’ sho’.

Cheers!

d.