The government wants to erase Kate Thomas in 24 hours, but fate had other ideas

Look Out Seattle

Chapter 2: Early Memories

She’s three or four years old. She’s wearing a beautiful dress and having a tea party with her mother. She decides to play Mum and starts pouring the imaginary tea. She looks at Pooh and tells him to mind his manners or he won’t get any biscuits. It was one of the happiest memories in the early life of a little girl named Colton Michael who had no idea the world thought she was a little boy.

******************
Her smile faded as she saw herself sitting in the booster seat of a barber chair. She trembled just as she did when she was five years old. She felt those hot tears on her cheeks and the whine of the trimmer in ears. Frustration, anger and helplessness washed over her as she once again watched her beautiful hair float to the floor.

******************

She was in kindergarten, sitting alone on the playground, watching a group of girls play. She screamed silently, "I'm a girl. I wanna play too."

******************

She saw her left hand holding a pencil and hovering over the empty page of a journal. She was eight years old when she discovered that pencils, crayons and imagination could create a world she could live in when reality said she didn't even exist.

******************

She was nearly 12 years old and standing in front of her parents bed holding a box of her journals. As she dumped the books in their laps, a child’s heartfelt plea echoed in her ears. "THIS is what I want for my birthday."

******************

There was a picture of a cat hanging from a tree limb by its claws. The caption below it read. "Hang in there baby. It’s almost Friday." She knew this place well. She was in the office of Gender Therapist Dr. Antonia Gianelli. For nearly ten years she walked her journey with "Doctor Toni" at her side.

As she saw herself talking to the beautiful young Italian woman she realized why this early session made the highlight reel. She had poured her soul out to this woman for nearly two months with very little in return save for smiles and more questions. Today she would receive THE answer.

The doctor put her notepad down and stood up from her desk. She walked over to her and smiled. "Your parents brought you here to find out why you want to be a girl and I suppose you are probably wondering the same thing yourself?"

She nodded nervously.

"Well you’ve taken tests, I've read some of your stories and you've talked to me for six weeks. Now, I think I can answer that question for you and your parents and ..without big words like gender dysphoria and transgenderism."
She squirmed in her chair, afraid of the answer and relieved to finally have one at the same time.

"First of all, what you're going through is no one’s fault ... not yours ... not your parents ... not society ... there is no fault here. Do you understand?"

Again she nodded nervously.

"Good" she smiled, "It's really important you know that."

She paused for a moment to choose her words carefully. "The reason you so desperately want to be a girl is NOT ... that you are crazy or mentally ill ... or confused ... or sick ... or ... possessed by demons or gay,which is a whole other issue ... no ... no ... no."

She took Kate's hands and smiled reassuringly, "The same reason it feels so wrong to be a boy is the same reason it feels so right to be a girl. It's the reason you pray and wish and cry to be a girl. It’s plain and simple and obvious, especially to someone who felt exactly the same way when she was your age. You want to be a girl because ... you ARE a girl and always have been. You're just a girl born with a birth defect, a faulty chromosome, but honey there is no doubt about it ... YOU ARE A GIRL!"

******************

She’s sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of tea with Mom, and asks her."What were you and Dad going to name me if I’d been born a girl?

Mom sat her cup down and corrected her daughter. "You were born a girl, it was just that your father and I didn’t realize it then, but if you want to know ... I was torn between Sarah and Kaitlyn."

The young girl thought for a moment, bouncing each one around and then she knew. "Mom ... I want to be Kaitlyn, but you can call me Katie "

She pulled her into a hug and held her close. "Well then baby ... Katie you are."

******************

There are so many people here, but she’s not afraid. Her Dad has her on one arm and her Mom on his other. Her dress is the same color as her Mom’s. She feels so pretty. Dad says he’s the luckiest man there because he has two beautiful girls. They're walking into the theater to see Camelot. It’s the night she found her middle name: Guinevere.

******************

Candles and a cake that says "Happy 13th Birthday Katie." There’s gifts and decorations and music. It’s the day she said hello to living full time as Katie. Over in the corner are two totes of clothes to be given to Oxfam. It’s the day she said goodbye to Colton

******************

Two black flats climbing concrete steps. Mom and Dad are watching her. She’s wearing leggings with a skirt and blouse combo and a wooly jumper hanging on one arm. It’s just her school uniform but she’s so excited to finally be wearing the right one. As she turns to wave at her parents, she feels her piggy tails bounce. The sign above the doors reads Paul Revere Secondary School.

******************

A strong arm grabs her and a hand covers her mouth. She’s being dragged into the restroom. Someone yells "Faggot" and she doubles over from a punch to her stomach. She can't run. She can’t fight. She can’t scream for help. She’s on the floor and someone kicks her. As she hears footsteps leaving, she asks herself, "Why? What did I do? Why do they hate me?"

******************

She's working on her column for the last edition of the school paper this year. The only other person there is Kenny Bradley. He’s the editor, a senior, has the nicest smile, beautiful brown eyes, and has always been nice to her. She brought him her copy. He starts reading it and then he stops. He looks at her and tells her that she's got real talent.

She blushes and then he says she has real courage too. She doesn’t know how to feel about his statement. She knows it's a compliment but it's also a reminder. She feels tears wanting to well. She starts to turn away. He takes her hand and apologies, but then asks if he can kiss her. She could write a 10000 word composition in no time and yet she couldn't put together the three letters that spelled yes.

Fortunately, he could read her eyes. He moved closer. He was six feet tall and she was so glad she had to raise up to meet his lips . He closed his eyes, so she did too. His lips brushed hers so gently. She tried to match his movements. He broke the kiss as softly as he began it. She was 17. It was her first real kiss.

Chapter 3: Later Memories

She wonders why hospitals are always so cold? She’s alone now except for her roommate Emily, who is sleeping and had her surgery a few days ago. She said when they tell you it's gonna hurt, they aren’t lying. She says you'll thank God for morphine when the anesthetic wears off. Kate asked her if she had any regrets. She said the only regret she had was waiting ten years to have the surgery at 28 instead of 18 like her. She’s scared but she knows she'd be more scared if she wasn’t having the surgery. She looks at the clock and wishes her parents were there.

******************

It hurts a little but she has to laugh. The doctor is pulling gauze out of her and it never seems to stop. All she can do is think of the magicians who pull handkerchiefs non stop out of their sleeves. "Good Lord, how deep did he make it?"

******************

She’s a freshman at Boston College. As she heads to journalism class, a stocky girl with very short hair and wearing a sweat suit stops her. She asks if she’s Kate Thompson. She gives her a puzzled look but answers yes. The girl puts a flyer in her hand and says with a smile. "You’re not alone. We meet every Tuesday night at seven in the basement of the Student Union Building. It’s a safe place. You should come."

She watches the girl walk away. She stuffs the flyer in her bag and cuts class. She goes to her car and feels tears welling. Her heart was touched by the brave and caring person who reached out to her but why did she reach out to her? Did one of her old school mates follow her to BC and spread the word? Was she that obvious? Could everyone tell she used to live as a boy? She thought she didn’t have to worry about hiding and being safe anymore. She pulled out her mobile. She wanted to call Doctor Toni, but she knew what the good doctor would tell her. She dried her eyes, fixed her make up and headed to the next class with renewed determination.

******************

She was in Cameron's dorm room. The lights were low. The music was soft. He was sipping his drink and smiling at her. She looked at him. He wasn’t a Mr. Darcy, but at least he wasn’t a Mr. Collins.

They’d been dating for three months and he was one of the few guys that she’d gotten close enough to have "The Talk" with, the others had gone MIA shortly afterwards but he said it made no difference

Over these two months they had kissed and a little more. Tonight it was going to be a lot more. She didn't love him but she liked him a lot so she hoped that was enough.

Perhaps he’d had too much to drink or maybe just enough, but as he took her in his arms,he whispered softly. "Babe ... you are so beautiful. I’d rather be with you than any real girl I know."

She slapped his face as she went full Joan Crawford on him. With that ugly four letter word echoing in her ears, she grabbed her jacket and headed for the door. He begged her to stay. He said he was sorry. He said he misspoke. He searched for the lie that he meant to say instead of the truth that he did say. He ran to the doorway and called out to her, but she was already half way down the hall on her walk of shame

******************

She was sitting at the editors desk of the Boston College Heights. It was her desk and she’d earned it. She’d made a name for herself as a top reporter and then for her editorials. Perhaps there would always be people who would never respect her as a woman, but by God she would have their respect as a writer.

******************

Her flight had just lifted off from Boston Logan International. Travel time to her new life and new job in Seattle was about six hours. She looked under her seat at her Calico baby Muffin who was sleeping peacefully in her carrier and then removed a notebook from her shoulder bag. It seemed the perfect time to write The eve of a new beginning seemed the perfect time to reflect on what she left behind and where she stood now.

She would miss Boston and the only home she ever knew. She would miss watching Red Sox games with her Dad and sitting in the kitchen with her Mom drinking tea and talking for hours. She’d miss being snuggled in between her parents for a classic television show or movie.

Reaching for her mirror she stopped writing to check her face. She paused to consider her reflection and everything that came with the package. Her left hand guided the pen again.

Truth be told, at 5'9 and 130 pounds, she was a little too tall and a little too short of curves. Her voice was a little too deep and Prince Charming better be packing a size 9 glass slipper if Kate was his Cinderella. Most people, buried in their phones and their lives, barely gave her a look, but it was that occasional second glance that made people wonder.

It was something she hated, but knew she had to live with, just as she had to accept the fact that she would always be one x chromosome short, that she would never know what it felt like to have a life growing within her and that unless she was sexually active she would have to be regularly intimate with a pyrex penis named "Fitzwillie".

She wrote the words Serenity Prayer and underlined them. Dr. Toni’s last pearl of wisdom to her were these words she said every transsexual has to live by. "Change what you can. Accept what you can’t, and learn to live with the difference "

Her thought train was interrupted by a smiling flight attendant asking her if she’d like a drink.

"Tea ... milk and sugar please," she answered with a matching smile..As she watched the attendant walk away she was inspired to write further.

Why did most women generally accept her into their club without issue while most men take her abdication as some sort of mortal sin? Women were sometimes curious, but normally respectful and often protective. Men on the other hand, couldn’t understand or accept her so they condemned her. Why?

As the attendant brought her tea, she decided that question would be a good one for her next video call with Doctor Toni.

She sipped the hot goodness and a smile turned at her lips. Her personal definition of irony revealed itself. She wrote, "The definition of Irony is spending the first twelve years of your life living as someone you're not and hiding who you truly are, then spending the rest of your life living as who you truly are while hiding the life of who you never were."

She nibbled on a biscuit from the packet that came with the tea and wondered. "Was 3000 miles far enough to run away from her past life, to keep her deep dark secret a secret?"

She didn't have the answer but she did have the last line of her entry. "Look out Seattle .. Here I come "

******************

The fireplace and the balcony overlooking the Seattle skyline had sold her on this place even before she asked how much the rent was. It was empty now save for her suitcases and an air mattress, but she couldn’t wait to hit the second hand shops to furnish it. Taking another bite of pizza she looked at her fur baby. "Welcome home Muffin."

******************

She's walking down the street with a small pizza from Andy’s, an amazing little place just around the corner. She is so happy her neighbor, Mrs. Manzelli told her about that second hand shop. She spent her paycheck twice over but it was worth it. She loved the brass bed and the rocker but it was the movie poster from Pride and Prejudice that stole the show. As she opened the door to the building, she smiled seductively and said, "Tomorrow night Mr Darcy ... you are mine."

******************

She saw her cubicle at the paper. She noted the framed picture of her parents, the collection of Jane Austen paperbacks and the poster from the XFiles that proclaimed the truth was out there. She saw herself walk in with a stack of folders in one hand and a cup of tea in the other.

It looked like just another day in a tiny cubicle of a very noisy newspaper room. In four years there, she’d made a few casual friends and absolutely no significant contribution to the literary world. She was a glorified gopher doing the research digging for someone else's byline. She did get in a few blurbs here or there, although they were usually buried in the back pages, still ... the boss always promised more.

She was absent mindedly scrolling her monitor screen when her boss's voice made her spin in her chair. He glanced at the screen. "Wrap up whatever it is you’re working on and come to my office. I've got an assignment for you."

She immediately closed out the window. "Yes sir. I’ll be right there."

Five minutes later she was sitting in his office. She had no idea then and neither did her boss of just how important this assignment was or the fact that just twenty four months later Kate would be looking at 24 hours to live.

Chapter 4: The Assignment

The tea kettle’s whistle returned her to the present, ending her trip down memory lane. Her hands trembled as she made a hot cuppa. She tossed in an extra sugar cube, because condemned women don't count calories.

She returned to her rocker and stared into her cup. As her spoon swirled the sweet hot liquid, her mind drifted back to the world two years ago. The events played out before her like a twisted Twilight Zone episode.

She returned to that moment in the spring of 2024 when she was in the office of her boss, starving for a juicy assignment and a chance to prove her ability. He wasted no time in giving it to her. He hyped her up by telling her that he wanted her working on the hottest news story in the country: the 2024 presidential primaries.

He went on to say that with no clear cut favorite or incumbent, the race was wide open, giving hope to the smaller special interest groups normally left in the dust of the primaries. Kate's job, if she decided to accept it, was a piece on one of those smaller groups that had been growing in popularity.

He pushed an envelope across the table at her and smiled as he puffed his vape. He told her he wished he had time to do this assignment himself as he’d been watching this group with interest for quite some time.

When she opened the envelope, the color drained from her face and she lost her appetite for writing. She looked up at him in disbelief. "You want me to do a piece on AFA?"

"No ... I want you to do the piece on AFA. I’ve got a hunch they could be in the thick of things before this election is over, and I want to scoop every other paper on this."

"I’m ... I’m honored sir, but knowing what I know about AFA, don’t you think one of the senior correspondents might be a better choice?"

He shook his head and blew smoke in her face. "No ... I don’t. I want a bright young woman’s perspective on this party and all it stands for ... and I want to see a rough draft by the end of the week, so get cracking girl."

As she turned to walk away with the assignment in hand, he stopped her, "Kate this is the opportunity you've been bitchin about, so don’t blow it or there won’t be another."

He smiled evilly, "Now go make Big Daddy proud."

She did her best to keep her breakfast down as she returned a thin smile and a nod before shutting the door behind her.

By the time she got back to her cubicle, she was fuming. She threw the envelope down in anger and disgust. "Big Daddy!"

Just the sound of his nickname turned her stomach. As the chief editor of the Seattle Star, he’d been bestowed that ridiculous moniker, and he loved throwing it around like his 300 pound belly.

Kate clenched her fist. "Big Daddy indeed. I bet he hasn’t seen his dick in twenty years."

Taking a cleansing breath she turned her attention to the envelope. "I know you did this on purpose you son of a bitch ...a bright young woman’s perspective ... my Aunt Fannie!"

She read the three letters aloud, "A ... F ... A." Immediately her face soured and she rolled her eyes. "Why in blazes would he pick the only liberal on the news staff to write about AFA?"

Her disgust and confusion made perfect sense. Americans For America, or AFA for short, was this right wing ultra conservative party that was nothing more than a bunch of hate peddling white supremists who had everything but swastika's, white sheets and a leader with a Charlie Chaplin moustache.

Their manifesto, which in essence wanted to take the country back a hundred years and repeal every civil rights law ever enacted, turned her stomach. Thousands of men and women died to protect the world from this disease, and here they were trying to start an outbreak.

She shook her head in disbelief. She didn't know how anyone could support a platform that preached hate, racism and prejudice. Perhaps there will always be ignorant people who are looking for a free pot of rainbow stew and a group to blame because they don't have one. She had a sneaking suspicion her boss was a true believer, which made her assignment even more difficult.

She was sure he wanted a piece on AFA from a positive perspective, but how do you make Medusa look like Audrey Hepburn? She couldn’t and wouldn’t do it, which left her with only one choice of action. She was going to write an expose on those hate mongers. That would show her boss and the rest of the world exactly what they were, and she had five days to do it. She looked at Fox Mulder’s picture with determination. If the truth was out there, she was going to find it

Within the first few days of research, it was clear that beneath the surface of this party platform of racism and hate was just more of the same, and it went all the way to their certifiable leader at the core. This came as no real surprise, but what did get her attention was the smell of corruption and unlawful acts that got stronger the more she dug. There were definitely bodies buried here, maybe even literally, if she could dig deep enough.

Unfortunately, by Thursday, all she had was a lot of suspicions and circumstantial evidence, but no smoking gun. Nonetheless, she stayed up all night writing a piece that told the cold hard ugly truth she could substantiate and walked the libel line on those charges she couldn’t.

At eight o;clock the next morning she was in the boss's office with hard copy in hand. At 8:10 the indoor hurricane hit. Big Daddy was not proud. He was pissed. Kate half listened to him blow about the paper getting hit with a hundred million dollar libel suit, and how her piece was totally biased and read like the rantings of a period crazed woman. He muttered something about how "her kind" was exactly what "they" were talking about before telling her to go back to her cubicle and be thankful she still has a job.

Two days later "her" story appeared in the paper, but the only thing resembling the original draft was her name. He had totally gutted the piece and in its place was a fluff piece of pie that sugar coated and promoted the AFA platform. If that wasn't enough to turn her stomach, what followed definitely was.

Three days later, and shortly before the first primaries, the Seattle Star became the first major newspaper to publicly endorse the AFA and their millionaire pitchman. Kate didn’t even have time to write a resignation letter before the NRA jumped on the bandwagon along with a few other papers and major organizations.

While AFA finished second in the first primary, Kate and others watched in disbelief and horror as their popularity grew and challengers fell to the wayside like dominoes.

They easily secured the nomination that summer, and with Rod Serling’s warning that there was a signpost up ahead, the country was swept into the Twilight Zone that fall when AFA won the election and swept into the White House.

The new regime wasted no time in fulfilling their campaign promise of "making this country great again." The plan they developed to accomplish this goal was called "The Purge".

Chapter 5: The Purge

Phase One commenced immediately and targeted the first group of undesirables personally responsible for everything not white or right in the world: illegal immigrants. Kate and the rest of the world watched in horror as thousands were rounded up into camps, documented and contained awaiting deportation. Sweeping legislative changes silenced protesters and muzzled any newspaper in opposition.

By late April, Phase Two commenced when the second group of undesirables were targeted. Transgenders were added to the disposal list. The president created the Department of Gender Affairs to handle this issue. As their first order of business, a resolution was passed denying transgender care to all those under 18.

Three months later, they broadened their scope. Transgender care of any kind was no longer available for any citizen of any age. Any physician failing to comply risked losing his license and prosecution. For Kate, this meant her precious supply of estrogen was in jeopardy, but the worst was yet to come.

In October, they instituted the final step of Phase Two. All post operative transsexuals would be required to register with the DGA like sex offenders. Name changes and gender status were ordered to be reverted to those at birth, forcing those to return to a nightmare they thought they'd woken up from.

The administration even went as far as to revoke passports of confirmed transgenders and to institute genetic screenings at border crossings. At a press conference, the new president said, "We have a global obligation to not let this disease spread beyond our borders, and I encourage each nation to do the same."

Finally, to enforce these new rules, the president dispatched storm troopers called the Gender Police (GP), who started raiding businesses and homes, searching for unregistered or suspected transsexuals. This latest move brought down sanctions from the rest of the civilized world, but The Purge continued.

Kate decided not to register, with the hope that the remaining sane Americans might rise up and oust this dictator, or that the rest of the world would intervene to stop this madness, or just maybe her records at Boston General might go up in a fire. Ultimately, it didn't matter if they shot her down in the streets, because going back to living as a male was a death sentence.

For the six months she prayed daily that she would wake up each morning to find out it had all just been a nightmare. The letter on the table said her prayers went unanswered and she was wide awake living the nightmare. She either registered in 24 hours or was deemed a fugitive of the state.

Chapter 6: Tea and Tears

A stray tear fell from her eyes and splashed her tea, once again returning her to the present and the choice that had not changed while she was gone.

She weighed her options. Option A: She could obey the law and become Colton Thomas, a man with a vagina. Even if she could live that farce, she would still be a monitored undesirable, and the first time she got caught jaywalking she would end up in a men's prison. Option B: She could refuse to report and fight this injustice. Unfortunately, with every news service muzzled and most citizens living in fear, she would be standing alone until the storm troopers collected her and delivered her to the princess suite at the men's prison. Option C: She could run. Vancouver and freedom in Canada was but 150 miles away, and if she’d bolted as soon as the madness started she’d be safely watching hockey and having maple syrup covered pancakes, but now with the country locked down like East Berlin, she’d never make it. Every border crossing, airport, train station or ferry port had her info targeted. A routine run of her plates would have her in custody and off to join the prison glee club. Options A through C were different routes which ultimately led to the same location: Guest of honor at a “poka” party in the men’s prison which would lead to a painful end.

Her final option was D for death, ultimately the same final destination, but with a much more pleasant trip and one of her own choosing.
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She didn't need to phone a friend to make her decision, suicide wasn’t just the best choice it was the only choice

With her mind made up and no more memories to visit or tears to shed, she poured the pills into her hand and swallowed them with a gulp of cold tea.

Knowing time was of essence she penned a short letter to her parents telling them she loved them, asking for their forgiveness and to adopt their only granddaughter, Muffin.
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Her last journal entry was short but said it all. "I am Kate. I am a woman. I am loved. No one has dominion over me."

With nothing else left to do, she caressed her baby and waited for eternal sleep. From force of habit, or perhaps because she didn't want to die in silence, she turned on the television, and surfed until she found one of the classic channels.

As she watched the adverts go by she felt the pills work their magic. Her eyes grew heavy and her breathing was slow and deep. Just before she drifted off, she smiled as the television played one of her favorite opening theme songs. "The bluest skies you've ever seen in Seattle."

Chapter 7: A Voice in the Dark

She could feel herself floating. Blind and unable to speak, she was helplessly lost in a fog. Just as panic started to set in, she heard a voice in the dark. "Come quick everyone! I think she's waking up."

A squeeze of her hand accompanied the voice. While she didn't know where she was, the woman's voice was comforting, and strangely familiar. She moved toward it as if it were a beacon on a starless night.

Perfume, soap, salt, coal oil, and an animal musky smell greeted her as she moved closer to the shore. A chorus of female voices encouraged her. "Is she awake? Did she say something? I told you she was going to be alright. Should someone get the doctor?"

"Ladies ... ladies," another woman's voice, familiar like the first, spoke with an air of authority. "Everyone calm down, and there's no need to get Doctor Mike yet. Let me check her temperature first."

It was then that feeling began to return. She could feel the cool wet cloth across her forehead and eyes. Softness, warmth and weight told her she was swaddled in a blanket or comforter. A gentle rhythmic rocking sensation said she was in a cradle, a swing or possibly even aboard ship.

When the cloth was lifted from her head it was replaced by the gentle touch and soft voice of the woman in charge. "Oh thank heavens, the fever's broken.," she said with a relieved sigh. "I think she's going to be alright now. She probably just needs to rest."

"I ... I heard her say something"', came the first voice she'd heard. "I was just sitting reading one of her stories. It was a romance ... a really good romance too with this fellow named Fitzwilliam."

"Oh for heaven's sake," she was cut off mid ramble. "What did she say?"

"Well ... come to think of it, she wasn't really talking. It was more like she was singing."

"Singing?"

"I didn't recognize the song though. It was something about green skies and ummm ... blue hills. Or maybe that was the other way around? And I'm pretty sure she said something about the smell of pie was in the air."

She paused in thought, "Well ... it was something like that, but it was really hard to tell because honestly her voice was a little flat."

A chorus of giggles filled the air followed by a gentle reprimand from the matron. "She was probably just dreaming or delusional with fever but YOU shouldn't have been snooping through her stories. You might've read something personal."

"It's okay," came a sleepy soft voice. "I stole Fitz from Jane Austen anyway." Adding a slight chuckle for punctuation, before slipping back into a light sleep.

The fact that she spoke caught the girls by surprise and they pushed in around her with excitement. The girl who spoke was even more surprised as the voice echoing in her ears did not sound like her own, but like the voices around her, it too was strangely familiar.

Desperately needing answers, she began pushing toward the light and the voices around her. Finally, her eyes fluttered open. At first the images were gray and distorted like an old aerial television picture, but slowly they drew color and focus.

The smell of coal oil did belong to a lamp hanging near her. Wood, she was surrounded by huge wooden beams, both bowed and straight. She could make out the patches of the quilt that covered her, but none of these things shed any light on where she was or how she'd gotten there.

As the images of those around her slowly came into focus, she hoped their faces would be as familiar as their voices. She saw silhouettes of women with hair neatly pinned up and wearing high collar dresses with lace.

"Look! Her eyes are open! She's awake!" Suddenly she was swarmed with hugs and well wishes. "Oh thank goodness you're awake. We were all so worried. Dr. Mike's been here day and night for two weeks and we've all taken turns at nurse."

Finally someone shouted, "Go find Doctor Mike and tell her Maggie's awake!"

Chapter 8: Maggie

"Maggie?" Her mind searched the name. They called her Maggie, but she knew that wasn't her name, not her real name. Her real name was just out of focus like the faces of the women around her.

Her brain was still fighting the fog, but when finally it lifted from her eyes and those familiar voices matched familiar faces. She reached out toward the auburn haired beauty sitting next to her on the bed. "I know you ... you're Candy ... Candy Pruitt."

Candy smiled and took her hand as she looked into the face of the girl on her right and then to the others crowding her bed. "And you're Biddie ... and your Becky .... and your Ruth ... and your Elizabeth ... and ... and I know all of you don't I?"
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Biddie giggled. "Well I should certainly hope so after spending six months together on a mule boat "

Most of the ladies laughed but Candy's eyes were filled with concern as she squeezed her shipmate's hand. "Are you alright Maggie? You've been sick with a fever for almost two weeks. You really had us worried."

"And a certain Bolt brother was pretty worried too." Biddie teased her playfully as the other ladies joined in, but Candy saw the glazed look in Maggie's eyes.

She shook her hand, "Maggie ..Maggie ... can you hear me?"

Maggie could hear her but she couldn't respond. Her mind was busy trying to make sense out of what she had just seen and heard. She knew everyone there and they knew her but how did they know each other? Maggie ... Maggie ... that was her name and yet something told her it wasn't. A six months cruise on a mule boat and the name Bolt were both so familiar, but why and how?

Almost on cue, memories of a life seemingly left behind overloaded the
circuits and she struggled to process it all. The answers weren't complete and came in gulps from the information dump but suddenly she realized who she was, who they were and exactly where she was ... which incidentally ... there was no way in the real world she could be.

She pulled her hand from Candy's and sank back against her pillow. "I'm not Maggie ... I ... I'm Katie and none of this is real ... not the ship ... not the lamp ... not this quilt ... none of it."

"Maggie," Candy tried to calm her as the other women stepped back. "Listen to me. You're just confused from the fever. Trust me ... your name is Maggie and everything around you is real ... right down to the smell of this mule boat."

Kate refused to accept what she saw and heard, "No ... no ... no! This can't be real. You can't be real. It’s ridiculous! I mean ... how can I be ... how can I possibly be ..." Her voice trailed off as she retreated into her mind to finish the impossible sentence. "In the middle of one of my favorite classic television shows? "

Everyone and everything seemed so real right down to the ruffles and lace. She wondered if it could be a dream, but dismissed that theory as no dream could be this real. Insanity was always an option in her case but something told her she hadn't gone round the bend ... at least not yet.

With no logical explanation at hand, she was reluctantly forced to consider the illogically impossible. Somehow ... someway ... she'd pulled a Pleasantville and stepped right through the TV screen and into the world of Here Comes the Brides. This western comedy-drama set in the 1860's ran but for two seasons from 1968 to 1970, starring (among others) teenage heartthrobs Bobby Sherman and David Soul.

The show is set in Seattle, and centers around the three Bolt brothers risking their mountain and trying to keep their loggers from leaving by bringing in a hundred brides from Massachusetts. It was a ridiculous premise for a show, but she'd loved it. She'd spent hours watching the reruns first with her mother, and then by herself. She knew every episode by heart, and truth be told, she had often daydreamed about being a character on the show.

She never dreamed that day would be today.

Still, even if she could accept that somehow ... someway ... she was really in the middle of a television show come to life, she knew precious little about who she was here, and not much more about her life she'd left behind.

Had she stepped into Candy's or Biddie's character she would have known her life's bio, but whatever magic that had brought her here had created a character for her. There was never a Maggie in any episode. So, aside from the fact that it was the mid 1860's, that she was one of a hundred brides bound for Seattle, and that she'd been bedridden with fever for two weeks, her script in this production was a blank to her.

Her life as Katie was more shadows than substance as well. She knew mostly sketchy details and strange parallels to the one she now inhabited. Both women had left their homes in Massachusetts for a new life in Seattle. Maggie's journey was a six month trek by ship around Cape Horn. Katie's took place 160 years later, with a travel time of about 6 hours, which included a short layover in Denver. From Biddie being caught snooping into her journal, she knew both women loved to write.

There were also distinct differences. All the brides were in their early twenties, while Katie was sneaking up on 30. Another difference was the painful reminder that Katie was a transsexual. Considering the television censors in 1968, Maggie was not. At least the powers that had placed her here had given her an upgrade.

Still the question remained, as she spoke the words aloud. "How in the world did I get here and why?"

Chapter 9: Jason

"Perhaps I can answer that for you Miss O’Malley," boomed a man’s voice that turned all heads and got Kate’s attention. He was tall, handsome and had a killer smile. She recognized him immediately as Jason Bolt, the eldest of the three Bolt brothers.

"Now as to where you are," he waved his arms in the air. "You’re aboard the Shamus O’Flynn, why the finest ship we could secure for your safe passage."

"Jason you mean the only ship you could secure." Candy quipped as the other girls giggled.

Jason rolled his eyes but was undaunted. "Now as to why you're here ... well ... for the same reason as every other young lady aboard ... to build a new life in Seattle, to find a man to share that new life with and to grow as Seattle grows. Now does that answer your question Miss O’Malley?"

She nodded silently, noting the piece of the puzzle he had given her without knowing. He’d called her "Miss O’Malley", making her Maggie O’Malley, which was the pen name she’d adopted in secondary school and why the name seemed her own and yet not her own. It was yet another connection between the two worlds.

Jason moved closer to her bed and smiled, "I’m glad you’re feeling better now, because for a while there I thought I was only going to be bringing 99 brides to Seattle."

"I’m not so sure she is feeling better Jason." Candy’s voice was filled with concern, "She says her name's not Maggie and that nothing here is real ... not even us."

Jason, calm as she had always remembered him, seemed unfettered by these wild accusations. He rubbed his chin and smiled as he regarded her prone form. "I see ... well now Miss O’Malley, or whomever you are," he gently corrected himself as he tapped his chest. "Am I real?"

He gently took Biddie's hand in his, "What about Miss Kloom here? She certainly feels real.

He pounded his fist on a wooden beam, "Feels pretty real to me."

"And smells real too!" Biddie wrinkled her nose and giggled.

Jason gripped the footboard of her bed and shook it gently. "Can you feel that?

She managed a weak smile which brought a wider one from him, "Now ... do you honestly believe that everything and everyone you see and hear and feel is ... is some sort of illusion?"

His logic seemed inescapable, his charm certainly was, but she had to stand or at least sit on the truth. "I know I sound crazy and I know everything seems real ... and all of you are so ... so real, but ... I'm sorry, really sorry but ... you can’t possibly be real ... and if I told you why you’d never believe me. I’m not even sure if I believe me. Honestly, I’m ... I’m beginning to wonder if I’m even real."

Her voice trembled and tears threatened as the tug of war between reality and fantasy had her caught in an emotional taffy pull. "I’m sorry ... I’m so sorry. I just don’t understand any of this. I don’t know how I got here ... I don’t know who I am ... at least who I really am ... I ... I really must be going crazy."

Chapter 10: Dr Mike

"Now as the only physician on board ..." a woman’s voice caught everyone's attention and silenced the room, "don’t you think I should be the one making that diagnosis?"

She was smartly dressed and beautiful, just like all the women in attendance. She had a black medical bag in hand, a knowing smile on her lips and an empathy in her eyes that instilled trust and calmness in her patients.

Kate recognized her immediately but stared in stunned silence. The rest of the room has no such difficulties as the doctor was besieged by a chorus of "Doctor Mike!" from some, while others tried to offer their own nonmedical opinion.

Raising her hand in the air, she quieted the crowd. "Okay everyone. Calm down and let me examine my star patient."

She sat down gently, smiling, as she looked into her bag and made small talk bedside. "I'm so sorry Maggie that it took me so long to get here. I was dealing with an outbreak of seasickness among the crew, which greatly resembled someone suffering the ill effects of drink, and interestingly coincided with the missing case of whiskey from Captain Clancy's private stock."

The room laughed but her humor appeared lost on the stone faced Kate. The doctor's smile drained as she realized it was time to get to work. She took the hand of her lifeless patient and then felt her forehead with the other.

"Pulse is strong .. .fever’s broken ... aside from being a little pale I think the worse is over."

"I wouldn’t be so sure, Doctor Mike," Candy corrected her with a look of concern.

Up until this point, Kate had been a silent spectator. Finally she found her voice with something that was half question and half statement. "You're Doctor Quinn ... Doctor Michaela Quinn ... Doctor Michaela Quinn medicine woman?"

The doctor chuckled, "Well ... yes I guess you could call me a woman of medicine and my first name is Michaela but you girls have been calling me Dr. Mike since before we set sail. You do remember that, don't you Maggie?"

The confused expression on her patient's face said there was some doubt, and had her taking a closer look at her eyes. Kate recoiled immediately. "I do remember that, no ... I mean I don’t remember that but I remember you and ... and you don’t belong here. You don’t belong in this story, and if I told you why," her voice trailed off in exhaustion, "you’d never believe me either."

Kate knew an explanation was pointless and would only confirm her own diagnosis of insanity. How could she explain to the characters of one television show that a character of another television show was doing a cameo on their show? As impossible as it sounded, she knew it was the truth.

Like Here Comes the Brides ... Doctor Quinn Medicine Woman was another blast from television past. The program aired for six seasons in the mid 1990’s and centered around a woman doctor and her family from Boston who traveled west in the post-Civil War era. The show was another of Kate's classic favorites which is why she recognized the good doctor immediately, and why she was even more confused. She was already struggling with her appearance into one story universe, but with the addition of a character from another story universe she had absolutely no clue as to what to expect next.

Her wait was a short one as Doctor Mike asked the question of the day that she’d been avoiding, "Maggie, you say I don’t belong? Why don’t I belong?"

The pressure of trying to hold two worlds apart finally got the better of her. "Because there is no doctor yet! Jason doesn’t go to San Francisco to get a doctor until the second episode, and besides that ... you have your own show on a different network like 25 years later."

Kate slumped in her bed and thought, Well now I’ve done it. They're gonna put me overboard for sure. She closed her eyes in fear and embarrassment, afraid to face everyone after her tirade.

A gentle caress of her hand induced her to open her eyes to a room of friends who looked at her only with love and concern. "Maggie," Doctor Mike squeezed her hand. "Now even though I don’t understand most of what you just said, I don't think you’re crazy. In fact ... you remind me of someone who's been through a traumatic event, like a war or near death experience."

"Or a high fever for a long period of time?" Candy asked.

"Yes ... like a high fever for an extended period of time. In cases like this, people have often woke disoriented, distressed and in denial of the world around them. The mind, unable to cope with a traumatic event or under extreme stress in the real world, allows the imagination to create another world in which it can survive. When these people finally awake, they often find themselves having difficulty differentiating between the two worlds. Of course, I’ve only read about this in medical journals, and I can’t be sure that’s what's happened to you, but I think it could be."

"Doctor Mike?" Biddie jumped in. "Would somebody with a really good imagination be someone who could well ... you know ... sort of catch like what you're talking about? Because Maggie has a great imagination. I just love those stories she writes, especially the romances. Why, I don't know how I would've survived these last six months without some of her stories to keep me warm," she added with a blush and a giggle.

"Oh Biddie," Candy rolled her eyes and laughed with everyone else including the patient who thanked her shipmate for the compliment, a fact not escaping the doctor's attention.

"As a matter of fact your right Biddie, someone like Maggie who has great imagination and writing ability, could create a world so real in certain situations, that she might have great difficulty trying to separate fact from fiction once the crisis has passed."

Kate, having listened to the doctor's analysis quietly, finally ventured in. "Assuming that what you say is true, that all of this is from having a fever for so long, is there ... well is there some treatment for this?"

Doctor Mike smiled reassuringly. "Honestly it’s already begun."

Chapter 11: Maggie's Memories

When Kate gave her a puzzled look she continued, "Do you remember when Biddie was talking about your stories you shared, and how much everyone enjoyed them?"

She blushed a little from the compliment. "Of course I do ... but honestly they weren’t that good. They were just old stories I had in my journals. After I shared one or two, everyone wanted more, so we started sitting around before bed and I would read a few chapters. It was just something to pass the time, but it was fun."

She paused for thought and chuckled. "Why ... I remember the time I was reading this part where the couple was sitting on the swing and just about the time they were gonna kiss, the rope broke and they both fell down. Peggy and Biddie laughed so hard and then I remembered ..."

Her voice trailed off as she repeated the last two words, "I remember ... I really do remember."

For the first time since she’d awakened in a world that knew her as Maggie, something seemed real. Finally, her character had description and background. She'd unlocked a page or two of the script, but how, and what did it mean?

Doctor Mike knew her question before she asked. "Associating yourself with familiar places and people, reliving memories for instance often helps you sort out what’s real and what’s imagination ... but these things take time and patience."

"Well time and patience was something I was in short supply of the day I met Miss O’Malley," Jason recalled with a smile. "It was the day we landed in New Bedford, and we needed a way to reach a hundred women, and we needed it fast. Joshua had designed a handbill stating our proposal, and we wanted to give one out to every marriageable woman in town, but all we had was the original."

"So ... we needed copies, and Clancy said he knew the owner of the local paper, the New Bedford Herald, and was sure he could make us the copies we needed. So off I went. Well, once I got there, I saw a young lad with his back to me. He was wearing ink stained pants and a shirt while donning a cap. I said, 'Excuse me sir, but I need some copies of this handbill made and, I need them as soon as possible.' "

"Without speaking or turning around, he takes the handbill from me and reads it while he continues to work on the printing press. Finally after a minute or two of silence, I start to lose my temper and then I raise my voice. I say 'Hey Mac, I need 200 copies today. Can you help me or not?' Well ... he slowly turns around, takes off his hat and says to me with a smile--"

Kate jumps in and beats him to the punch. "We can do that for your sir, but my name’s not Mac, and you’re only gonna need 199, because I want one for myself."

The room erupted in laughter, and no one laughed any harder than Kate, who added, "If you could've seen the look on Jason's face when I took off my hat and all my hair fell out."

With another memory recalled, another page or two of script fell neatly into place and the scale that balanced reality from fantasy, Kate’s world from Maggie’s, was starting to shift.

Doctor Mike, seeing the signs of progress, decided to keep the therapy rolling. "I remember the first time I met Candy, Biddie and Maggie. I had stopped for tea while waiting for my return train to Boston. I was talking to my friend, explaining to her that I didn’t want to join my father’s practice. I wanted to go west, out to the frontier, where they wouldn't care if I was a man or a woman. I remember saying loudly, 'I just want to go where I’m needed!' "

"Well the next thing I know Maggie's got me by one arm and Biddie’s got me by the other dragging me out of the tea shop while Candy keeps apologizing, saying they don’t normally shanghai doctors."

This time Jason stole the punchline, "The next thing I know there’s three women on the dock next to Clancy's ship informing me that unless I convinced this doctor to come to Seattle with us, not a single woman was coming aboard."

"Of course," Doctor Mike finished, "They didn’t realize they had me before they ever drug me out of the tea shop."

As the ladies hugged their favorite physician, more pages filled, fell into place, and were quickly forming yet another chapter in the life that Kate had awakened to find herself living. These new memories were coming to life for her, but without erasing what memories she had of her life before as Kate. For the moment, they coexisted in her mind, separated only by the increasingly blurry line between fantasy and reality.

Chapter 12: Captain Clancy

The line nearly dissolved when the captain made his grand entrance. "Now what in the name of Davey Jones is going on in here?"

Captain Clancy was a scruffy Irish seadog who bellowed like the North wind, but beneath the beard and barnacles was a soft heart that treasured four loves: whiskey, the sea, Lottie, who owned the only saloon in Seattle and the young woman who sat center of attention.

The others greeted him as he made his way to the foot of the bed and winked at the doctor. "So tell me now Michaela, how long will you be a lettin’ this layabout get the better of ya? Why I knew all along there weren’t nothin' wrong with this one. Look at her, laid back like some kinda Irish princess ina first class cabin."

A smile turned at his lips as he glanced at Kate, waiting to see if she’d taken the bait he’d offered. Receiving only a wide eyed blank stare and silence, he tried to prime the pump once again.

"Mary Margaret O’Malley, if you don’t open that porthole of yours and say somethin', I’m liable to hoist you up and throw ya to the sharks!"

Kate, having never seen this side of Captain Clancy in any of the 48 episodes, was utterly speechless. Fortunately for her, Maggie knew this old sea dog all too well, and was not at a loss for words..

"Randall Francis Clancy, you ol’ bilge rat," she fired back in a voice with an Irish flavor she hadn’t noticed before. "So, you’d throw me to the sharks would ya? Well ... that’d be the first decent meal anyone’s had round here since we left New Bedford. And I just might be daft enough to think of meself as an Irish princess, but I’m not so daft as to believe that this ... this menace to navigation, this broken down leakin' rag bagger is anything but ... a dirty ... stinkin' ... mule BOAT!"

The room fell silent as the pair stared each other eye to eye, then Clancy let out a belly laugh and opened his arms. "Aye, that’s more like me Magpie. Now come give an ol’ bilge rat a hug."

Maggie drew Katie along and dove into his arms. The familiar scent of sea and whiskey was sweet perfume. Tears threatened as it was high tide and another wave of memories rolled in. She snuggled against his overcoat and sighed, "I've missed you too, Salty Dog."

When the embrace was reluctantly broken, the captain was gushing with gratitude for the lovely physician. "Thank you now Michaela for all you done. 'Twas breaking me heart don’t you know, seeing her laying there sick like that ... all quiet and still. Why it was probably the only time in 22 years I've ever had any peace or quiet with that one around."

"Salty!" Kate shook her fist and smiled while everyone else shook their heads and laughed.

"Maggie?" Candy asked the question that was most on everyone else's mind. "How did you meet Captain Clancy? You said you were going to tell us, but you never have."

Kate, still putting together the pieces of Maggie's life, squirmed and gave her best impression of Samantha from Bewitched. "Well ..."

"Now Miss Pruitt," Clancy jumped in and rescued her. "I’d be the one to tell that tale and right glad to do it don't you know ... .only," he grabbed his throat and forced a feeble cough, "I got this dry throat. Parched I am, and I was wondering perhaps if the good doctor might have a little something in her black bag ... you know ... just for medicinal purposes."

Doctor Mike smiled sympathetically, "I’m sorry Captain I’m afraid I don’t."

"Well, that’s alright Clancy," Jason put his arm around him. "I’ve got a bottle back in my quarters, so why don’t you tell us the story, and then we can get you a dose of two of medicine."

"I don’t know Jason. I’m feeling might dry."

Jason laughed, "I've got a full bottle."

Just the hint of a cure, soothed the Captain’s vocal chords. "Okay now, well ... the first time I laid eyes on Miss O’Malley ... she was as naked as the day she was born."

"Oh my!" Biddie gasped as every girl there went wide eyed and stared at Kate, who in turn rolled her eyes.

"That’s because IT WAS the day I was born you sea devil!" Maggie scolded him, having taken the driver's seat from Kate.

"Okay ... okay now Magpie don’t pop your stays," he laughed along with everyone else. "I always start the story out like that so the people will listen, don’t you know. And now that I got all you's attention ... the tale really starts in Southampton where I was the captain of the Fiona. She was a grand lady who was the finest ... fastest clipper ship to ever sail the ocean. And there was this young Irish couple who booked passage on me voyage to Boston. Their names were Michael and Bridgette O’Malley. At that time, her ladyship over there, unbeknownst to me, was in the belly of the whale, if ya know what I mean."

Most of the brides blushed, some laughed but all knew exactly what he meant as he continued.

"Now had I known about this little stowaway, I’da never let them on board, but we was half way across before I found out. So ... all I could do was move them up from steerage to a first class cabin, keep the lass comfortable, and hope we made land before the wee one came."

"Well did you?" Biddie jumped in.

"Almost Biddie ... almost. We was 2 days from Boston when this one decided she wasn’t waiting for land and, that’s when I as captain had to take over and handle everything."

Doctor Mike eyed him suspiciously, "Are you telling me you delivered a baby?"

With all eyes on the captain he grabbed at his parched throat and coughed. "Well ... you see ... ummm ... actually--"

"Actually," Maggie jumped in, "He ran all over the ship until he found an old woman who’d been a midwife, and then he and me father got stinking drunk waiting for me to be born."

The Captain squirmed like a fish caught in the net, "Aye ... there’s a wee bit of truth to that. I did get the midwife, and she told me to keep the husband outside, and to give him something to do ... so I did. I got him drunk, but I’m telling the tale darlin', so kindly let me continue if you will."

Maggie obliged him and sat ready to correct the Salty Dog if he got too far of course, while everyone else, including Kate, hung on every word

"So ... about twelve hours and two bottles of whiskey later, we heard a baby cry, and came a runnin' to find Miss Mary Margaret O’Malley in her mother's arms a wailin' like a banshee ... and I don’t think she’s been quiet since," he added with a wink.

"Or you sober," Maggie fired back as laughter filled the belly of the ship

"Okay now ... okay now," Clancy quieted the room. "The story’s not over yet. Now where was I?"

Biddie jumped in and giggled, "Maggie was wailing like a banshee."

"Biddie!" Candy grabbed her arm and shushed her.

"Right you are Miss Cloom," the Captain started again, "Well ... when we made Boston the next day, Maggie's parents said they would always be indebted to me for all that I’d done. So, whenever I sailed into New Bedford, there would always be a warm bed, a hot meal and a bottle a waiting for me. But ... but best of all, they made me the Godfather of this little scamp, and Magpie’s been stuck to me like a barnacle ever since."

Maggie smiled as her eyes misted, "Salty, I swear you’re the only person I know who can call me a barnacle and get away with it."

"That’s me Magpie," he laughed with open arms that she fell into.

The moment was broken only by the ever inquisitive Biddie. "So I can see how he’d call you Magpie since your name is Maggie but why do you call him Salty or Salty Dog?"

Maggie reluctantly released from the embrace and eased back into her position under the quilt. "Because ... for as far back as I can remember, whenever he would show up at our door, my mother would say, ‘Well now, look what rolled in on the tide ... a salty old seadog,’ so I started calling him Salty Dog or just Salty."

"Aye ... tis true indeed. Just like I’ve always called her Magpie, but not just because her proper name was Mary Margaret. Oh no ma’am, I called her Magpie because she was just like that infernal bird: attracted to any shiny object I brought for her, long piggy tails that looked like tail feathers, and curious to no end. Why, every time I came, she’d sit for hours while I told her tall tales from every port I'd been in."

Maggie's’s eyes flashed as she sat straight up. "Tall tales indeed, and you told me some whoppers, but none so big as the one you told me parents and me when they agreed to let me come to Seattle."

Clancy cleared his throat. "Well now child, I haven't the faintest idea what you could be referring to."

Searching for an escape, he turned his attention to the lovely doctor. "Michaela me dear, I can tell the fever's still playing tricks with her mind. I ... I should probably go and let her rest."

While trying to exit stage left, he was thwarted in his tracks when Maggie said, "Randall ... Francis ... Clancy ... avast ye sailor!"

The Captain turned as if to walk the plank while she said, "I, that is, me, my parents and I’m sure the other 99 brides, want to know what happened to this fine clipper ship you promised me parents we’d be sailing to Seattle on."

Suddenly the captain was surrounded by a boatload of women waiting on his next word. "Well now poppet ... and kind, gentle ladies, I had every intention of purchasing a fine sailing ship as yar as the Fiona was. I had all me life’s savings and the title to the Shamus O’Flynn, but what I didn't have ... was good luck"

Maggie sighed and sank into her pillow. "Let me guess ... you had an ace high full house and he had four kings?"

"Only no darlin not this time," he pleaded his case. "This time I had the hand I been waiting me whole life for. I had a ten high straight flush. Nothin' beats that girl. Nothin'!"

Maggie shook her head. "Except a royal straight flush."

Clancy nodded silently and sighed, "But on the bright side, he let me keep my ship, and we can certainly be thankful for that. Right ladies?"

A quick look around the room made him realize a long walk off a short pier might still be in his future. Turning to Jason for safe passage he coughed. "Mr Bolt, I think me throat's getting the better of me. I believe you mentioned a bottle?"

Jason laughed, placed his arm on the Captain's shoulder and offered him deliverance. "C’mon Randall Francis ... let’s leave while we still can."

Chapter 13: Kate Resurfaces

When the Captain and Jason left, it was Maggie's cue once again to retire to the background. As Kate took prominence, she felt as if all the wind had left her sails. She eased back toward her pillow with a drained expression that did not miss the doctor's eye.

She took her patient by the hand, checking her pulse and staring into her eyes. "Are you feeling alright? After such a long fever it's perfectly normal to tire easily."

Kate’s weakened condition wasn’t physical exhaustion as much as she was mentally and emotionally drained. The exchanges she had with Doctor Mike and with Jason had unlocked memories of her life in this world as Maggie, but with Captain Clancy it had gone far deeper.

Kate had retired to the background completely, a silent spectator as Maggie became more alive and aware with each memory she awakened. The scale was tipping decidedly in favor of the television world around her. The line between fantasy and reality had blurred beyond recognition. Kate feared that Maggie's world might swallow her world whole, but what concerned her even more, was that she wasn’t sure if that was a bad thing or a good thing.

Doctor Mike felt her forehead while a concerned Candy offered to get a fresh cool cloth for her fellow bride.

"I don’t need a cloth, but thanks Candy," she offered with a smile. "I’m not sick ... well I don’t think I am. I’m ... just confused. I mean talking to everyone helped me remember my life as Maggie."

Biddie looked puzzled "Isn’t that a good thing?"

Kate shrugged her shoulders. "Yes ... I mean no ... well, I mean, it's good to remember my life ... errr ... Maggie's life. But what about MY life ... my life as Kate. I mean I do, or at least I did, have a life. I know I did ... I remember ... I swear I remember."

Kate's voice trailed off as she saw disbelief and worry in all the eyes around her. Frustrated, tears welled in her eyes as she sank down into the bed, wishing it would swallow her up and return her to the belly of the whale.

Doctor Mike took charge immediately, "I think Maggie's had enough excitement for one day. I want everyone out except Candy and Biddie."

One by one the girls gave hugs and well wishes to their fallen bride until only the four ladies remained. Doctor Mike squeezed Kate's hand as she gave her prognosis. "Interacting with everyone helped you remember your life as Maggie, be it real or not. Perhaps if you shared your life as Kate that might clear some of the confusion ... but only if you're up to it."

Kate nodded, closed her eyes and tried to pull back the life she had left behind. Doctor Mike suggested she try to recall the last thing she remembered from her life as Kate. A picture of her flat in Seattle came into view, and with it she began to share the events of her last night there.

"I ... I was in my flat. The sun was going down, and the view of the Seattle skyline was so beautiful. There was a jet leaving a vapor trail and I wondered where it was going." She smiled, lost in the memory.

"I came in, put the kettle on for tea ... lit the lamp, no wait ... I switched the lamp on, and sat down in my rocker. I turned on the television, and surfed until I found the Classic channel. I looked at the picture of my parents. I missed them so much. I wanted to pick up the phone and call them, but ... but they couldn’t help me. Nobody could help me because the letter came today."

Her voice elevated and her breathing quickened as the memory took a darker turn. "He found me and there's nowhere to run and ... and I won’t go back. I swear I won't go back. I’ll die first ... I’ll die first."

Suddenly, her eyes flashed open, but she was still processing the events playing in her mind. Her last words and last images haunted her.

Her mind raced as she tried to put the shattered pieces of that night together. "The letter ... the pills ... sleep .... death ... oh my God, did I do it? Did I really do it?"

Up until this moment, she hadn't considered the possibility. Perhaps it was because she really hadn’t wanted to, but now she had no choice. If this wasn't the world's most realistic dream, or if she wasn't in a padded cell on heavy medication, then the only alternative left was death. This had to be heaven ... her own, personalized, tailor made version of the afterlife.

She let her thoughts sink in. She didn’t feel dead, but she hadn't recently polled any zombies on the death experience. All she knew was that if this was death, really death, her name wasn’t MacArthur, and she would not be returning.

That thought was just a little too much to take in one gulp, but she pushed herself to relive the final moments of that life again: every detail, every second, and every choice. She had to know the truth.

She remembered the tea kettle whistling. She remembered the letter and its envelope. She remembered the rocker. She remembered the pill bottle, but she didn't remember if she took them. She remembered opening the bottle with one hand and gently caressing Muffin with the other.

Chapter 14: Muffin

"Muffin!" she cried as she returned to Maggie's world. "Muffin ... Muffin! Where’s my baby? This can't be heaven without you."

"She’s ... she’s right here M ... Maggie," someone said with a stutter.

All eyes turned to see a calico cat snuggled in the arms of Jeremy Bolt, who was the youngest of the three Bolt brothers

Candy blushed and lowered her gaze. You didn’t have to know the series to see she was smitten.

Jeremy smiled and brought Muffin to Kate's bedside. "I found her on the deck. She ... she was sleep ... sleeping in the sun."

Kate pulled her baby in, closed her eyes and rocked her. "I thought I’d lost you girl. I’m so glad you didn’t get left behind "

When she opened her eyes, she saw Jeremy’s big blue eyes filled with concern. She had to admit, in Kate’s world, in Maggie’s world, in any world, he was a heart throb. But he was Candy's heart throb, and she acted accordingly. She thanked him, keeping her smile respectable, and then returned to loving her baby.

Jeremy told her he was glad she was feeling better, and then left as quietly as he had entered. Kate caught a glance and a smile he gave Candy as he left. A flicker of Maggie's memory told Kate there might be another moonlit stroll on the deck in the near future for Candy.

Doctor Mike was glad to see the therapeutic effect Muffin was having on her patient. While she hated to disturb the moment, the physician within her knew it was necessary. "I don't wish to upset you further, but did thinking about your life as Kate help you at all?"

Still stroking Muffin, Kate nodded. "Yes ... some ... but I’m still not exactly sure what happened, why it happened, or for that matter, where it happened."

"You said you were living in Seattle in something called a flat," Candy jumped in hoping to help, "but you haven’t been to Seattle yet, and I have no idea what a flat is?"

"It’s a British term Candy." Doctor Mike could at least solve that mystery. "It’s a small living space, usually connected to other spaces, and contained in one building. I believe it’s also known as an apartment."
.
Candy nodded, even if she didn’t fully understand.

"Unfortunately," the Doctor turned her gaze back to Kate, "you mentioned a few other things that I have no reference for. Do the terms ... jet ... phone ... television, or surfing have any significance to you?"

Kate paused as she carefully weighed her.response. She didn't remember everything, but she remembered those things, which meant she was faced with the impossible task of explaining things that had yet to be invented.

"Wait!" Biddie shouted like a school girl with the correct answer. "I know what those things are, and I know who Katie is too!"

Candy and Doctor Mike started to ask the obvious question, but Biddie was already up and digging through one of Maggie's large trunks.

"I know it's here somewhere I just saw it earlier," she promised as she tossed books to the left and right.

Kate had no idea of what she was searching for or if she truly had the answer, but if it got her out of explaining a jet plane 40 years before the Wright brothers first flight, she was down.

"Here it is!"Biddie cried as she lifted the fruits of her labor high above her head. "I knew I saw it in here when I was snooping earlier "

Candy shook her head and rolled her eyes as her best friend ran over with the prize in hand. "Oh Biddie, you really shouldn’t snoop like that "

"I know ... I know Candy, but Maggie's going to be happy I did, because once she started remembering all those things in Kate’s world, they seemed familiar to me too and then I remembered why they did."

Biddie smiled triumphantly as she placed a leather bound journal in the center of the bed. When she saw the puzzled looks from the other three ladies she sighed in frustration. She opened the book and turned to the first page. "Candy you should’ve remembered this. You couldn’t stop talking about the carriages, and I should’ve remembered it because that part about the evil king coming after the girl with the secret was so ... scary."

Biddie pushed the book closer to Kate. "And if anybody should’ve remembered this, it should’ve been you. I mean you are the one who wrote it."

Chapter 15: The Book

Kate's hands trembled slightly as she picked up the book and slowly read aloud the handwritten title above the first page. "Look ... Out ... Seattle"

Candy’s eyes flashed and she squealed, "Oh my goodness Biddie you’re right! I do remember now. That was one of Maggie's best stories "

"Oh Doctor Mike," she turned to her friendly physician, who appeared as much in the dark as she had been. "You would love it! It’s all about this young woman named Kate who moves from New Bedford to Seattle, but it all takes place a hundred and sixty years in the future and this world is full of so many amazing things."

"Yes, oh my gosh," Biddie gushed, "Everyone traveled in horseless carriages that were faster than steam locomotives and there were huge flying ships called jets, that could carry people from New Bedford to Seattle in hours."

Candy smiled dreamily, "I think my favorite was tele-phones. Can you imagine how wonderful it would be if you could hold something in your hand that allowed you to talk to someone in New Bedford and ... and they could talk back to you?"

"I loved tele-visions," Biddie offered her favorite futuristic device. "People in the future would sit for hours and hours watching the window on a magic box that was filled with moving pictures and sounds so real that you could hardly tell the difference between it and the real world.

"But the storyline really drew me in too," Candy said as she sat on the edge of the bed. "Just like Biddie said, Kate was this young woman who graduated college, left her family in New Bedford to find a new life as a writer in Seattle, but ... she carried with her a secret. A deep dark secret that she could never share for fear no one would ever look at her the same again."

"And don’t forget the villain Candy," Biddie reminded her. "Every story needs a villain, and this one was the worst! He was this evil man who became king, and he did terrible things to people. And the worst was, he started chasing Kate, threatening to expose her secret. Finally, he caught her in Seattle. She had no way to escape and she didn’t know what to do. All she knew was that she’d rather die than give in to this tyrant."

"So ..." Doctor Mike begged, having become entangled herself in the plot web being spun, "What happened to Kate? Did this evil king win, or did she find a way out?"

Candy and Biddie exchanged glances and shrugged their shoulders as they spoke in unison, "We don’t know. Maggie got sick and she never finished the story."

It was at that moment they realized Maggie had been a silent spectator since Biddie dropped the book in her lap. Her gaze was locked onto the open pages almost as if she was in a trance.

Doctor Mike reached out and took her hand gently, "Are you alright? Can you hear me?"

"Could ... could it be true?" Her voice was barely more than a whisper, and she appeared to be asking herself the question rather than answering the Doctor’s own.

She thought she’d covered every explanation possible, reluctantly even death.But she had never dreamed, never considered, that she’d gotten reality and fantasy backwards. It was just too incredible, too frightening, too close to total insanity to even contemplate.

But there it was, undeniable, right in front of her eyes and written in her own hand. It was surreal, almost laughable, if the joke hadn't been on her. It was something right out of a Twilight Zone episode, but ironically she’d have to wait a hundred years to see how it ended.

She wanted to run, just like she had wanted to run in that other existence, but there was no escaping her fate then and no escaping it now. She had to speak it into existence. Her eyes pleaded with Doctor Mike’s. "Could it be true? Could it really be true? Could my whole life as Kate just be a story I wrote?"

Years and years of medical training did not prepare or qualify her to answer the question. All she could do was speak from the heart. "Honestly, I know you don’t want to accept what I’m about to say, but yes ... my professional opinion would be that your life as Kate and all the memories you have of it, were drawn from the story you wrote. A story that incidentally has similarities to your own life.’

Tears welled in her eyes as she picked up the book, literally holding her life in her hands. "But it seems so real and I have all these memories. How is that possible?"

"There’s so much we don’t understand about the mind. Recently, doctors who call themselves psychiatrists have devoted themselves to studying cases just like this."

Kate’s eyes went wide, "Psychiatrist? Are you telling me I’m crazy and ... and I’m going to end up in an asylum."

It didn’t matter if she was Katie or Maggie, she knew the conditions within an 1860’s asylum and she wanted no part of them.

Doctor Mike tried to calm her immediately, "No, you’re not crazy, and you’re not going to an asylum." She paused trying to choose her words carefully. "My professional diagnosis is as such: you are perfectly sane. You are a young woman with an incredible imagination and writing talent who has been very ill with a high fever for nearly two weeks. Fevers of that height and length often include bouts of delirium. As the fever began to subside, your mind sought to reconstruct reality. Since that story was fresh in your mind before taking ill, and because of that incredible imagination of yours, your mind confused fantasy with reality. That created the situation we have now, which with time and rest should correct itself without any adverse effects. Of course that's just my theory."

The doctor stopped when she saw all three women looking a little shell shocked from medical overload. "Ladies," she broke them from their trance. "She’s going to be just fine. She just needs a little time and rest. Although a bowl of hot soup might speed her recovery."

Candy and Biddie immediately headed to the galley to fill the doctor's prescription, leaving her a little alone time with her patient who was obviously still grappling with reality, as she now had to accept it.

When she saw her still holding the book and staring intently at it, she took it from her hand gently and closed it

"Maggie ... is it okay if I call you Maggie?"

The young lady answered with a smile and a hint of the old Irish. "Of course ya can. Tis me name isn’t it?"

"Yes, yes is it," Doctor Mike returned the smile, "but I don't want you trying too hard to convince yourself of that. I want you to rest, relax and above all else, I want you to leave your journals and stories alone for a while and that’s doctor’s orders young lady."

"Yes ma’am," Maggie crossed her heart with one hand while unbeknown to the good doctor, her fingers on the hand beneath the quilt were crossed.

Chapter 16: Joshua

"Is the patient allowed visitors?"

Both doctor and patient turned to see the familiar face of Joshua Bolt, the middle brother of the three. He was tall with sandy blonde hair, deep blue eyes, and like all the Bolt men, very handsome.

The Doctor did not miss the rosy blush that filled Maggie's cheeks as she gave her a wink before responding. "Only if the visitor is named Joshua Bolt, but for only a few minutes, my patient needs her rest."

Joshua nodded and walked toward the end of Maggie's bed as Doctor Mike packed her bag to leave. "Oh Doctor Mike ... I was wondering if maybe Maggie might be well enough for a little stroll on deck this evening. I was thinking maybe the fresh air might do her some good," He turned his gaze toward Maggie, smiling hopefully. "That is, if she was up to it."

The doctor didn’t need her medical degree to diagnose the love bug bite she saw in their eyes. "I think that's a wonderful idea. In fact, consider it doctor's orders, but not for too long mind you. As I said earlier, she needs her rest."

"If you two want," everyone turned at the sound of Candy’s voice, "you can go with Jeremy and I when we go walking."

"And I’ll be there as a chaperone too!’ Biddie included herself as she brought in a small bowl of soup.

Doctor Mike nodded approvingly. "I’ll say goodbye for now, but I will be back in the morning so I expect you to be well rested. If you need me before then, send someone to my quarters."

They waved and watched the doctor leave. Biddie brought the soup to Maggie and gave her a spoon. "Honestly, I don’t know what kind of soup it is, but nobody got sick from it, so I think it's okay."

Maggie laughed and Candy shook her head. Oh Biddie ... sometimes ..."

Maggie sniffed the soup and frowned as she sat it on the nightstand beside her.

Candy frowned. "Doctor Mike said ..."

"I know ... I know what Doctor Mike said and I'll eat it. I promise I will, but I just want to rest first."

Candy eyed her suspiciously. "Well .. okay but we'll come back to check on you later."

"I should probably get going too," Joshua turned to head for the door. "I’m supposed to meet Jason and Jeremy to go over some logging contracts, but I will be here by 7 if you feel up to it

"Oh, she’ll be up to it.," Biddie answered with a giggle, which got her an elbow to the ribs from Candy, and turned Maggie’s cheeks crimson.

"I’ll see you at 7." Maggie finally found her voice and then slowly started sinking down into the quilt from embarrassment.

Joshua smiled and then he was gone. Candy started to scold Biddie, but Maggie waved her off. "It's okay ... really it is, but honestly," she covered her mouth as she yawned, "I'm really tired. If you don’t mind, I'm going to take a little nap, okay?"

Candy nodded and then fluffed Maggie's pillow. "I’ll be back to check on you."

"And we'll both be back to help you get ready for Joshua," Biddie giggled .

Maggie settled down in bed. "Thanks for everything and we'll ... I’m sorry about what I said ... you know ... saying you weren’t real. It’s just that when I woke up I was so confused and ... and ... I thought I was going mad."

Candy smiled lovingly, "It’s okay ... really it is ... honestly sometimes I think about being on this boat with 99 other women, three thousand miles from home, going to the wild frontier to find a husband and well ... I think I must be mad too "

Maggie returned the smile and opened her arms. "You’re both such good friends."

As the three embraced, Maggie was reminded of another aspect of this life, she was surrounded by friends who cared and loved her. That didn’t just tip the scale in her favor, it knocked it over.

Candy and Biddie finally left her to rest, but not without reminding her to try to eat, and that they would be back in a few hours to help her get ready for her walk with Joshua.

Chapter 17: Alone With the Book

Finding herself alone for the first time, she loved on Muffin, who seemed quite comfortable with the change in address and century. On the other hand, Maggie felt like Dorothy on a sea going version of the Wizard of Oz, and her mind was still playing a game of, "Will the real world please stand up."

Truth be told, she wasn’t as convinced as she’d lead them to believe that her life as Kate was just a fever enhanced story she’d written. She needed time to sort everything out. She needed time to read the story "she" wrote about her life as Kate, and if she was in a straight jacket, then someone else would have to turn the pages.

In direct violation of her doctor's orders, she reached for the book that she hoped held some answers.

Her hand trembled as she opened the book. She traced her finger along the title and thought, "Look Out Seattle. Why did Maggie, or why did ‘she’ select that phrase for this story? For that matter, how could she possibly write this story?"

From the bits and pieces that Candy and Biddie shared, she knew it was in essence a biography of Kate’s life in the 21st century, or at least parts of it. As Kate, 160 years in the future and as a devoted fan of Here Comes the Brides, she knew Maggie's world, all 54 episodes. But the television glass only works one way. So ... how could Maggie in 1866, real or special guest star, know about Kate and life in the 21st century?

Yes, she might have pulled an H.G. Wells and envisioned an accurate futuristic world, but that would not explain how she knew personal details about Kate’s life. Of course, if she, as Maggie, could remember writing this story, then she would have her answer. Unfortunately, that was a piece of the puzzle still missing.

Her head started to ache from the mental ping pong she’d been playing, bouncing between being Kate and being Maggie. A few appropriate lyrics from the Beatles song, The Walrus played in her head as she smiled rather than cry.

Finally, with nothing left to do but to do it, she dove into the only existence of Kate in this world, aside from what she as Kate could remember.

The first thing she found of interest was that the story started on Kate’s 13th birthday. In the life that Kate remembered, this was the day her life as Colton and as a boy ended, and Kate’s life began. But in Maggie's version there was no Colton, and no mention of events prior. It was as if Kate's life started the day she shared her stories with her parents, and informed them of her dream to be a writer. The transsexual element of her life appeared to have been omitted or erased

As she ventured further into the tale, she noted the many similarities between Maggie's version of her life and the one she remembered. Both Kate’s had kind, loving and supportive parents. Both Kate's excelled academically and struggled socially. Both Kate’s felt like ugly ducklings but obviously one Kate’s feelings went far deeper. At around 16, Maggie's Kate had the major glow up that genetic girls often have, while her twin had the best one that estrogen shots could create. It was here that the first reference to "the deep dark secret" was found. It said that Kate carried a deep dark secret in her heart, one she would have to live with forever and never share because if she did, the world would never look at her the same ever again.

Through 70 or so pages that constituted Kate’s life in the 21st century, modern conveniences included, this secret was mentioned throughout but the author never gave a single clue as to its nature. It was only when both Kate’s left to start a new life in Seattle working at a newspaper, that each had tried to leave their own "secret" behind. The parallel continued when both Kate’s were hunted, trapped and forced to face a difficult decision because of their secret. Only the Maggie that wrote the story knew her Kate’s secret, as illness had stopped her writing, at the same time the other Kate had stopped living.

Maggie sat the book down and fell back into her pillow with a heavy sigh. The story hadn’t really been much help at all. The two Kate’s shared many similarities but it was the last one they shared that saddened Maggie’s heart. She might have to accept the fact that she may never know how either girl's story ended.

As she lay there, feeling the gentle rolling of the ship and looking at the converted mule boat which would not be featured in the June 1866 edition of Ships Monthly, she decided that perhaps she needed to change course. If looking back at Kate’s life seemed to be, pardon the pun, a dead end, then maybe it was time to further explore Maggie's life, past, present and future.

The past lay in the trunk containing her diaries. The future included a walk on deck with the very handsome Joshua Bolt. She was definitely looking forward to her future. The present demanded two things of her.

First, she had to embrace her life and this world as Maggie. Kate had to take a backseat ... at least for now. The second demand was sleep, and that appeared to be nonnegotiable, as she felt drained once again. Sinking deeper into the pillow, her lashes batted a few times before her eyes finally gave in.

Suddenly, she sat up and her eyes went wide. A single thought had derailed her journey to slumberland. "Wait a minute!" she cried aloud. "The last time I went to sleep, I jumped from one life and one body to ... to ... being a 2026 guest star on a 1968 television show which takes place in 1866."

"Oh ... my ... God!" she said in disbelief. "Heavens to Sam Beckett, this isn’t Here Comes the Brides ... It’s Quantum Leap."

She had to laugh, especially considering the good doctor gender jumped in several episodes.

Looking from side to side she called out, "Al? ... Al?" but when he didn't answer she gave up the ghost and fell back into her pillow. Her last thought was, "Will I wake up someone else, someplace else or is this the leap home?"

Chapter 18: Maggie Takes the Helm

When "Maggie" awoke, the first two things she noticed was that she was still Maggie and ... that no matter how much soap and perfume you use, a mule boat will always smell like a mule boat. Chucking her Quantum Leap theory in the rubbish bin, she accepted that, at least for now, she was home.

She also noticed that she was no longer alone. The hold of the ship, which had been converted into dormitory style living quarters for the brides, was now bustling with activity. Some of the girls were sitting on their beds writing, reading or sewing, while others were gathered in groups talking. One girl with beautiful brown hair was staring into a hand mirror using her free hand to position her hair in different styles.

Maggie tried to remember her name, but couldn’t. To Kate, the young woman was a nameless background cast member. To Maggie, she was a friend that she'd spent the last six months with. Relegating Kate to her place as a silent observer, she tried to relax her mind, and allow Maggie to be Maggie. What felt like a cool breeze on a hot summer day washed over her. Suddenly, she was calm, confident, and Maggie.

"Becky," the young woman turned at the sound of her name. " You really should wear your hair up like that. It looks so beautiful that way."

Becky smiled, "Thanks Maggie I've been wanting to try something different."
.
Rachel, hearing the conversation, shouted, "Hey everyone Maggie’s awake!"

Suddenly her bed was surrounded once again, but this time she was prepared to receive them. Faces that had been nameless to her the first time she saw them, now had names, stories and shared memories. The more she engaged everyone, the more comfortable she became.

"Well hello sleepyhead." Candy slipped into the gaggle of girls. "You’ve been sleeping most of the day. Doctor Mike checked on you a few times and Joshua came by once."

Maggie blushed as her Seattle sorority sisters giggled and teased her playfully.

Candy frowned as she spied the uneaten bowl of soup. "Maggie," she gently scolded her. "You really should eat something. If you want I could try to heat up some of the stew we had for supper."

Biddie, who was standing back a bit from Candy, shook her head and then made a face as she stuck out her tongue."

Maggie noted the zero star rating. "Thanks Candy, I know I should eat, but I’m just not hungry yet. Maybe ... I’ll feel more like eating after we go walking with Joshua and Jeremy. I’m sure the sea air will do wonders for my appetite.." She added with a giggle.

""Your appetite for Joshua Bolt," Rachel had to state the obvious, which brought another round of laughter and gentle teasing.

*"Ladies ... ladies," Candy quickly quieted the room. "Miss O’Malley and I have gentleman callers this evening, and we would greatly appreciate any assistance you might wish to offer with our preparations."

The girls hesitated a moment as they looked side to side and then smiles slowly peeked before growing wide. Suddenly 99 girls mobilized themselves into a beauty brigade and Maggie marveled at the teamwork and love shown by her friends and shipmates.

The first order of business was dropping the quilt down across the entrance to the hold. Established before they left the dock at New Bedford, this was the signal that no boys were allowed.

The next thing Maggie noticed was several girls dragging a large wooden wash tub across the floor. Immediately thereafter, began a bucket brigade of hot water led by Biddie, who informed her that it was a good thing they expected to make Seattle tomorrow, as this was nearly the last of the fresh water.

Anne, the former Southern Belle, brought a small bottle over to her. "Doesn’t it smell wonderful? My daddy got this all the way from Paris, France. It was one of the few things that survived the trip from South Carolina "

Maggie inhaled the lilac and rose petal fragrance with a dreamy smile. "Ohhhhh ... that’s really nice. It’s going to smell amazing on you."

Anne giggled and pointed toward the wooden tub, "It’s not for me honey child. It’s for your bath."

Maggie’s eyes went wide as she saw several of the girls hanging quilts around the tub and Biddie standing nearby with brush,soap and towels in hand.

She looked to Candy for a reprieve but received only the harsh truth, "You’ve been bedridden and fevered for nearly two weeks and ... you’re going walking with Joshua in a few hours. You NEED a bath."

Candy's logic and her own body odor were inescapable. When her ship sister offered her a hand she took it gratefully and without further protest. It was fortunate that Candy was stronger than she looked and Anne was still nearby as the fever and two week bedstay had robbed Maggie of her sea legs. Her knees buckled with her first step, but they collected her before she hit the deck.

The girls easily returned the lightweight to her upright position. Once sure she was alright, they offered a pair of arms to lean on as they walked her to the tub.

"Thank you," Maggie said to her helpers. She raised her voice and said to everyone in earshot, "Thank you all for the bath, and all you've done for me while I was sick."

As she slipped between the quilts, Biddie smiled and said, "If you need anything at all, we'll be nearby."

Looking at the round wooden tub, soap and scrub brush, Maggie got her first taste of real life in the 1860’s ... at least aboard ship.

Chapter 19: Bath time!

When Candy asked if she needed anything else, she was tempted to say, "Yes, a nice tile walk-in shower with one of those pulsating shower heads," but restrained herself with a more appropriate, "No, I don’t think so, but thank you "

She removed her nightcap, and auburn locks fell nearly to her waist. Suddenly she realized that since she had awakened here, she had never picked up a mirror or seen her body. She grabbed a lock of her hair and pulled it in front of her eyes. It was the same color as before but longer and thicker. Pulling the night gown over head she let it drop to the floor as she explored her new body. Much like her hair, it seemed similar to the old one, but with a few changes that were definite upgrades.

She was shorter now, probably about 5’3 or 5’4. She’d arrived at that number when she noticed Candy was 3 to 4 inches taller than her when she helped her to the bath. Considering the actress who played Candy on television was 5 '6 and Maggie was barefoot, it didn’t take a math major to determine her new height. The loss of inches pleased her to no end as did the rest of the changes.

Hands and feet were now height and gender appropriate. Her hips had widened and her waist had narrowed, although the outline of a few ribs showed the result of a two week water only diet. Her breasts were modest and about the same size as before. While there were no push up bras in the 1860’s, the whale bone jaws of death known better as a corset could make any woman's cups runneth over. The change that pleased her to no end was going from a girl who had no end, to a girl with some junk in the trunk, and that was a happy ending indeed.

Finally she removed her panties, and what she didn’t see pleased her most of all. There were no scars in her pelvic region to remind her of her gender reassignment surgery. She had surmised earlier that she was the genuine article right down to the last xx chromosome. This just confirmed it.

She stood there for a moment in awe of all she had been given until a hand pushed through an opening between quilts. "Here Mags. Try this lotion when you dry off, it will make your skin so ... smooth."

She immediately recognized Emily's voice and thanked her as she took the bottle from her. Realizing the water wasn't getting any warmer, she eased into the tub, and started taking care of matters at hand. Her thoughts were shifting from the present to the future ... primarily her walk with handsome young Joshua Bolt.

During the show's two year run Joshua dated but never married, although in the first season episode titled, "Mr and Mrs J. Bolt", he nearly did in order to keep a girl's uncle from taking her back to New Bedford. Maggie's knowledge of plot lines though were no longer much help. The life and the world she was now in had long left the storyline that Nash and Marcus created. Maggie’s presence here and the crossover from Doctor Quinn was proof that she had no more idea of what to expect when she arrived in Seattle than any of the other 99 brides

Feeling cleaner and smelling sweeter, she wrapped a towel around herself. Immediately, she noticed another attribute of 19th century living: Mr. Downey and his fabric softener were a hundred years away from a store shelf. As she stepped through the quilts, she was introduced to even more aspects of being a young woman in the 1860’s.

Chapter 20: Final Preparations

Candy had taken the liberty of raiding Maggie’s chest and selecting appropriate wear for an evening stroll above deck. A chemise, drawers,stockings and the dreaded whale bone corset with corset cover comprised the traditional undergarments of the era. Silently she thanked God she hadn’t arrived a few years earlier, as she was not a fan of petticoats and hoop skirts

Her outer garments were of the 1860s frontier style that she always loved. Candy had selected a long, flowing prairie skirt for her in a beautiful shade of light blue to compliment her eyes. The cream colored blouse was high necked with lace around the collar and cuffs. A blue bodice jacket matched the skirt and a pair of black Victorian lace up boots completed the ensemble. The style minus the corset was one Maggie had preferred in both worlds, only in this one she’d finally be in style. .

She started to dress herself, but quickly realized corsets were a two woman job. Fortunately, Biddie offered to lend a hand ... although it was more aptly a foot to the square of Maggie’s back, pulling the strings until her ribcage and whale bone became one. As she gasped for air, Maggie now knew first hand why women of this era so succumbed to fainting spells. Lack of oxygen and unconsciousness tend to go hand in hand.

Next came the skirt and blouse. The fever that ravaged her body for two weeks stole ten pounds, and the skirt was a bit loose. But, like her Revolutionary era counterpart, this Betsy came to the rescue, and did some fancy stitching to draw the waist in.

Once dressed, she was passed onto a team for hair and make up. Candy and Biddie had left her temporarily, as they had to focus on their own preparations.

The first thing she noticed about 1860’s make-up was that there wasn’t much or any for respectable girls of this era. A Mary Kay representative would never have made her commission among these women. "War paint" was almost the exclusive province of saloon girls and harlots. Maggie’s new make up bag consisted solely of beet juice which could be applied lightly to her cheeks and lips.

Her hair was curled by wrapping the damp strands around a finger and then pinned until they dried. In the front she would have long loose curls that framed her face while the back was arranged in a bun with hanging ringlets.

When she was finally led to the one full length mirror shared by a hundred women, she nearly fainted, and not from the death grip of her corset. It was the first time since arriving that she was face to face with her own reflection. The changes to facial structure mirrored those to the rest of her body. She could see a family resemblance with her former self, but the changes were all dramatic upgrades.

Her eyes were wider. Her lips fuller. Her nose was smaller and her face more rounded. Tears threatened as she grazed her fingers along the seamless section of her throat where once a scar from having her Adams apple shaved served as a permanent reminder that she would be a girl who had something extra.

Peggy, seeing the wistful look on her face, laid a hand on her shoulder. "What's wrong Maggie? Don’t you like the curls? I could change it if you want."

"No ... no ... no Peggy," Maggie returned to reality as it now was. "Please don’t change a thing. Thank you. I love it. I really do." Maggie’s gaze returned to her mirror image. "I ... I ... really look ..."

Her voice trailed off, but Candy came up with gloves in hand. "Beautiful is the word you're searching for," she smiled as Peggy and Biddie agreed.

Overcome by the joy of her appearance, and going from being an only child to having 99 sisters, nearly started the water works in earnest, but Candy quickly shut off the tap. "Here ... here now," she handed her a lace hankie. "Joshua and Jeremy will be here any minute and we want to look like we're happy to see them, but not toooo ... .happy," she added with a smile that coaxed one from Maggie.

Gloves and perfume were the final touches as the ladies considered themselves ready to entertain gentleman callers. Maggie tried to relax her mind so she could remember more about Joshua Bolt than she had learned as Kate watching 54 episodes.

As Maggie, she remembered the first time she had seen him. It was on the stage at the town hall that night in New Bedford when the Bolt brothers presented their offer of husbands and a new life in Seattle.

Truth be told, when she first read the handbill that Jason handed her, she was more interested in the new life in Seattle than the complimentary husband that came with it. She loved working on the newspaper with her father, but her passion was to write and see the world beyond New Bedford. College wasn’t really an option for women, outside of a few medical schools or religious seminaries. Seattle offered to feed the only passion she’d ever known until a second one stirred when she saw Joshua.

She wasn’t really aware of the fact she was staring at him, totally oblivious to Jason's sales pitch, until suddenly she realized he was doing the same thing himself with her. She looked away as her cheeks blushed crimson. She was tempted to save herself further embarrassment and forget the whole thing until she got caught in the wave of women, who swept her toward the stage to sign up for a one way ticket.

When it was her turn to sign, she kept her face lowered and looked for a pen. Suddenly, one appeared before her eyes. It was held in the hand of a smiling Joshua Bolt, who immediately introduced himself. For the first time in her life, Maggie was speechless. She quickly scribbled her name and turned to leave.

"Excuse me," Joshua glanced at the paper, "It’s nice to meet you, Miss Mary Margaret O’Malley."

She stopped and turned to see those blue eyes smiling at her. Her cheeks still flushed, she managed a smile of her own and a few words. "Maggie ... everyone calls me Maggie," and then she disappeared into the New Bedford night like Cinderella, but with no glass slipper left behind. The prince didn't need it to find her. She would be coming in two days with trunks and cat in hand to find him.

Chapter 21: A Moonlit Stroll

No additional memories were retrieved as a knock on the wood outside signaled Joshua and Jeremy's arrival. When Biddie removed the quilt from the opening to reveal a pair of handsome escorts, Maggie realized she was just going to have to wing it from here, and hope more missing memories came to the forefront as she sought to build new ones this evening.

Joshua and Jeremy both offered arms to their respective ladies, which each took readily. The four of them, with Biddie as the tag along chaperone, made their way to the upper deck.

Maggie liked the feel of being on Joshua's arm. The only arm she’d ever been on in any existence was her father's. It was a warm, secure, comfortable feeling she’d never felt with any other escort.

Maggie turned her attention from Joshua to Jeremy and Candy, who were a few feet in front of her. When Candy glanced back, the look of pure joy in her eyes told Maggie that she was enjoying the walk as well.

Maggie didn't really remember how many times over the last six months she had walked this deck with Joshua, but she remembered she enjoyed their time together, just sharing bits and pieces of their lives and dreams.

Even though she knew she’d seen this moon and this ocean many nights since their voyage began, it was in essence new to her tonight. She broke their silent walk to stop and admire the immense beauty of it all. She sighed as she looked out over the railing. "The ocean ... I've never seen anything so big in my life. And that moon and those stars ... I swear they seem so close that I feel like I could just reach out and grab one "

Joshua watched Maggie as she looked up at the sky with the wonder of a child on her first night aboard ship. He loved her unique way of looking at things, her excitement and anticipation for each new day, and how she delighted in sharing her thoughts and dreams with him on their walks.

It didn't matter to him that she usually carried the conversation, because when he wanted to talk, she gave him her undivided attention. The fact that in nearly 10 minutes of walking, she’d barely said anything besides her comment on the night sky, had him genuinely concerned.

"Maggie," his voice drew her attention away from the seascape. "I talked to Doctor Mike while you were sleeping. She said you’re going to be just fine now. All you need is some rest and to get your strength back. If ... ummm ... you’re too tired to walk, we can go back. I don’t mind. Really, I don’t."

Maggie smiled and squeezed his arm. "I’m not too tired. I ... I guess I’m just not really good company tonight. I’m sorry Joshua. I guess I just got a lot on my mind tonight."

"You always have a lot on your mind Maggie," he said with a chuckle "It’s just that usually we spend a good part of the walk talking about it, and tonight you've been so quiet."

She saw the look of concern in his eyes. He genuinely cared. Part of her wanted to tell him the whole unbelievable story, but the only thing that would do was worry him even more.

By this time, Biddie had come alongside them, while Jeremy and Candy waited patiently. Maggie squeezed Joshua's arm and pulled him forward as Biddie hurried to catch up with the other two.

She could feel his eyes on her, and she had to answer, so she picked a half truth instead of a whole one. "If you want to know, I guess I’m just preoccupied with the same thing every other girl on board is. Tomorrow we're going to land in Seattle. What’s it really going to be like? What are we going to do? Are we going to be happy or ... or are going to wish we’d never left New Bedford?"

Joshua weighed her words carefully before responding. He knew most of the women probably did have those same concerns. Perhaps Maggie did as well, but he felt there was something else she wasn’t sharing. But, as much as he wanted to press her, he knew he should wait for her to come to him.

"It’s understandable you’d feel that way," he squeezed her arm gently as they walked, "but for six months now Jason has been singing the praises of Seattle to you ladies. It’s green and big and beautiful and wet and muddy and ... and well, it’s just starting to grow, and it won’t be an easy life, but it can be a good one. That is ... if that’s what you want."

Maggie could feel his eyes on her and she continued to be evasive. "I would say that most women are here to find a husband and start a family."

He knew he should wait but he couldn't help but pursue. "Maggie, you’re not most women."

"You can say that again," she rolled her eyes and chuckled, saying aloud what she thought was just an internal monologue.

"There," he stopped their walk. "That’s what I'm talking about. You make little comments and references to things. I have no idea what they mean, but that’s just you. Just like you’re funny ... creative ... intelligent ... independent and ... beautiful, and not like most women who only want to find a husband and have children."

"Maybe that's because no one ever gives them a chance for anything else." Her blue eyes met his with a cool gaze.

He closed his eyes, wishing he'd left this alone, but he had no choice now. "I’m sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. Yes ... you are different from most ... no, you’re different from any woman I've ever met, but I love that about you. I know you’re a ... a woman of mystery. I know you have secrets, and you don't have to share them with me if you don't want to, but just know that nothing you could tell me would change the way I feel about you ... nothing."²

Her heart melted and her knees grew weak. She struggled to find the right words. Fortunately, or unfortunately ... Biddie found them for her.

"C’mon you two," she shouted, and Maggie once again pulled Joshua along to catch up.

Joshua waited patiently as they continued to walk in silence. Finally, Maggie’s heart spoke. "I’m not offended. I know I’m different. I’ve always been different, and sometimes I've been ashamed of those differences. It means so much to me that you don't just like me in spite of my differences, but because of them. And as for being a woman of mystery ... yes I guess I am, and I do have some secrets, but every woman does. Still, knowing you’ll accept me no matter what they are, if and when I tell you, means everything to me."

Joshua nodded, "Okay Miss O’Malley. That’s good enough for me."

Maggie smiled, truly smiled, for the first time since the walk began. Her eyes twinkled with a hint of mischief. "Are you hungry?"

Chapter 22: A Midnight Snack

Joshua returned the smile and added a wink. "What did you have in mind?"

Maggie whispered in his ear, "When they make the turn up there, do you want to slip off to the galley and find something to eat? I’m really hungry "

Joshua’s answer came when the other couple made the turn. He pulled her toward the galley on a trot as Maggie struggled to keep up.

Once inside the galley, they lit a candle. "Biddie's going to come looking for us you know," he warned her.

Maggie was busy raiding the cabinet. "Yes, I know, but this will give Candy and Jeremy some alone time too. Hey I found some crackers." She raised her prize high overhead.

"I found the cheese." Joshua pulled a plate and knife from the cupboard, and sat them on the table, then used them to start slicing the cheese.

Maggie watched him seemingly glow in the candlelight. "Can I ask you a question?" Not giving him a chance to respond, she pressed on. "What is it that you really want to do ... you know ... with your life?"

He cut the last slice, then paused for a minute. "Well ... you know what I really want to do. I want to do more than just cut and ship trees. One day Bridal Veil Mountain is going to run out of trees. When that day comes, I want to build things instead of chopping them down. Seattle is growing, and I want to help it grow and ... I would like someone to help me do that. But what about you, Maggie? I know you want to be a writer, but what else do you really want to do?"

"I might open a pizza delivery shop or the first Starbucks," she quipped, once again, speaking aloud something she should've kept in her head.

"Star what?" Jason gave her a puzzled look before laughing. "Nevermind, woman of mystery. I probably don’t want to know." He ducked when Maggie threatened to throw the cracker tin at him, then grinned and asked the same question again.

This time she answered it. "I came to Seattle because I wanted to see the world beyond New Bedford. I was afraid I might never get another chance. I want to write about everything and everyone I experience in Seattle. I agree with you about Seattle growing, and I want to be part of that, but I’m not exactly sure how."

She filled her mouth with cheese and crackers as she contemplated her statement. Joshua popped the same into his mouth, and seeing she was deep in thought, waited patiently for the outcome.

She swallowed her bite. "How many people are in Seattle, and how many of them can read?"

Joshua coughed up a few dry cracker crumbs when he heard the question. Once he could breathe normally again, he said, "Well ... I’m not exactly sure, but counting the brides, it's got to be close to 500. I would say maybe half of them can read."

Maggie nodded as she chewed another bite of cheese. "I bet I could get one in San Francisco if I have to, and I know I could get Salty to bring it up here."

"Maggie, what are you talking about?"

Unfortunately, her train of thought was on a roll, and not stopping to pick up passengers. "The rest of the supplies I can probably get in Tacoma, and then all I would need is a place, which I’m sure you can help me with. I mean, you got a mountain full of lumber right? And I can do everything myself at first you know, at least until it really gets going."

"Maggie!"Joshua raised his voice in an effort to stop the run away train.

"What? Oh Joshua I’m so sorry I just got carried away a little," she apologized.

He gently placed his hands on her shoulders and smiled, "I love when you get carried away, but ... how about taking me with you this time?"

Maggie giggled and nodded, then that mischievous look flashed in her eyes again. "Does Seattle have a newspaper?"

The penny finally dropped for Joshua, and he grinned. "Seattle doesn’t have a newspaper ... yet."

Maggie matched his grin, and then on impulse, hugged him. Realizing she may have overstepped, she released him and stepped back. Slowly, she lifted her gaze to meet his. The look in his eyes said she hadn't crossed a boundary that wasn't already wide open.

Gently he opened his arms to her, and she slowly melted into them. There was a shared quiet moment before he broke the silence "So ... Miss O’Malley is that it? Is there nothing else ... nothing else at all you want?"
.
""Well ... Mr Bolt," that mischievous spark was a flame in her eyes. "Well ... I know that Seattle is going to grow, and I want to help it grow, and I would like someone to help me do that."

She had given him his own words back to evade the question, but escape was impossible as he lowered his face closer to hers. "Any particular someone?"

Maggie’s eyes were lost in his. In any reality she had ever known, she had never wanted to kiss or be kissed like she did at that very moment. She lifted her lips toward his to answer him silently.

"Well there you two are!" Biddie bounced in, shattering the moment, and causing them to break their embrace.

Maggie grabbed a cracker and shoved it in Joshua's mouth.."Joshua was just soooo ... hungry, that we just had to find something for him to eat."

He quickly swallowed the bite and then returned the favor shoving a piece of cheese in Maggie's mouth. "And you know Maggie's been sick for two weeks, and barely eaten a thing, so I thought we should stop and get her some food."

Biddie looked at the two guilty mice with cheese and cracker crumbs on their cheeks. "Oh my goodness ... come on you two. I can’t leave Candy and Jeremy alone."

The co-conspirators winked at each as they brushed away the evidence and followed Biddie back on deck.

Chapter 23: Back on Deck

Once they rejoined the other couple, Candy and Maggie made eye contact. Without saying a word, Candy asked what happened, and Maggie's silent response was, "I’ll tell you later."

The five resumed their stroll in silence, until just before the entrance to the dormitory. The two pairs stopped for a final look at the ocean and each other. Biddie maintained her distance, but kept an ever watchful eye.

Maggie looked up at the handsome face who was smiling lovingly at her. Her heart was filled with feelings she’d never felt before in any reality. She wanted to tell him, but there were no words she could find. Unfortunately, Kate chose the most inopportune time to speak for her.

"I don’t suppose you know who Starsky and Hutch are?"

Joshua gave her a puzzled look, and stumbled to find an answer. "Ummm.. Starky and who? I ... I’ve never heard of them. They sound like a New Bedford law firm, Why would you ask?"

Maggie's cheeks flushed crimson as she silenced her alter ego. "Oh ... there’s no reason. Just forget I even asked."

Joshua shook his head and laughed softly. "Okay my lady of mystery, your secrets are safe with me ... and so are you."

His blue eyes were proof positive that every word he said was true. Just as she was about to do a "Maggie-Melt"into his arms, Biddie once again extinguished the flames.

"C’mon ladies, it's about that time. We should really be getting in. We need our beauty sleep ... well ... at least I do."

"Oh Biddie!" Candy and Maggie sang in unison as they hugged her, and then said a reluctant goodbye as they watched the two men disappear into the night. Maggie was tempted to quip the old line about how, "I hate to see you leave but I love to watch you walk away," but she restrained herself, and wondered if the risque comment came from Kate or Maggie.

Once inside the dorm, they were besieged by 97 inquiring minds, who wanted the dish in every detail. Of course, Maggie and Joshua’s food run was of most interest. Maggie assured everyone that she was still a marriageable young woman and that the only thing that touched each other's lips was cheese and crackers, but the blush on her cheeks and sparkle in her eyes allowed the girls to read between the lines and know that much more transpired between them.

Candy shared her experiences on deck, but was not as forthcoming as to what transpired between her and Jeremy when Biddie left them to search for her two lost lambs. Sparkle and blush said more than words were exchanged on the deck above.

Finally, it was time to slip into a gown and cap, and prepare for bed. Tomorrow would be the culmination of a six month journey to Seattle, and the beginning of a new life. Every bride was as excited as she was scared, and most struggled to find sleep.

Biddie finally said aloud what everybody else was thinking. "I can't sleep."

""Wish we had some hot cocoa," Peggy sighed dreamily as the motion was seconded by all in attendance.

"Well ..." Biddie drawled with a smile as she looked at Maggie. "Maybe ... someone could put us to sleep with a bedtime story ... like the ending to "Look Out Seattle?"

The dorm room was alive with shouts and pleas. "C’mon Maggie pleeeeeease. You’ve been giving us bits and pieces for weeks now. You can't leave it unfinished on our last night."

"Ladies! ... Ladies!" Candy quieted the crowd. "Maggie's been sick for two weeks, and she needs her rest more than any of us."

Maggie smiled and waved off Candy's bailout. "It’s okay, I can finish the story, but .. I don’t have the ending written down, so I'm not sure how to begin. Maybe if you ask me some questions, I can give you some answers."

Becky shouted, "Did the evil king capture Kate, or did she find a way to escape?"

Maggie closed her eyes, and asked for help from both women she was. The answer came easier than she thought. "She wasn’t captured. She didn’t run. She stood and fought, but she didn’t fight alone. The good people of the kingdom rallied around her. They wouldn’t stand for social injustice any longer. They stormed the castle and kicked the king out. He was jailed for his many crimes, and spent the rest of his life in the dungeon "

"What’s social injustice?" Peggy, as well as most of the women, gave her a puzzled look.

Kate, realizing she’d open a door about a hundred years too soon, struggled to find a way out. Thankfully, Anne provided it. "So did they get a new king or ... did they make Kate queen?"

A few cheers went up for Kate's ascension to the throne, but she quickly doused their hopes, as she informed them she wasn't running for office. "No ... there was no new king or a new queen. The people were finished with royalty. They came together, men and women, and voted for a president."

"What was his name?" Victoria shouted, hanging on every word.

"I bet it was Joshua," Alice playfully teased her as the others quickly joined in.

Maggie raised her hand and feigned insult as the girls finally quieted. "Actually ... if you really want to know ... the president was a woman and her name was ... was ..."

The girls started pleading for her to finish the sentence. She felt like a child dangling a piece of yarn just outside a kitten's reach. Truth be told though, she didn’t have a name. She was trapped in a literary corner. Fortunately, Kate saved her at the last second.

"Her name was Antonia Gianelli. She was young, and beautiful, and kind, and wise beyond her years. The world became a Camelot, and she was a young Lady Guinevere, without a King Arthur or Sir Lancelot. There was no more hate or discrimination or war. Everyone was equal and ... and ..." searching for an all inclusive ending, Kate plagiarized the Fifth Dimension, "and peace guided the planets and love ruled the stars."

Everyone cheered at the ending, and Kate didn’t feel too bad for her cheating, as Marilyn McCoo wouldn’t need those lyrics for another hundred years.

To Maggie’s listeners, Antonia Gianelli was just a character in a story, but Kate knew she was so much more. With her heart and wisdom, she was the perfect plug and play option for the story, and would make a great president in any reality.

"But what about Kate’s deep dark secret?" Biddie couldn’t leave the tale just yet

Maggie thought to herself, "I got this one."

*As for this deep ... dark ... horrible secret that Kate feared would destroy her world, and make everyone turn away from her should it be revealed ... it turned out to be nothing more than a tempest in a tea pot. Once she shared it with those who truly knew and loved her, she found out it didn’t change a thing. See ... she was always Kate, and always would be, and nothing could change that."

Finally Kate's story had an ending. One she could live with, one Maggie could live with, and one 99 applauding brides definitely approved of.

Maggie, totally spent and satisfied with the conclusion, gathered up Muffin and eased into her bed.

"Wait Maggie," Candy had one last question that normally Biddie would’ve asked. "So ... what happened to Fitzwilliam Darcy? Did she find her true love?"

Maggie sighed dreamily, "Oh she found her true love, but it was not the elusive and aloof Mr Darcy she had always worshipped from afar. It turned out that her soulmate, her one true love, had been waiting in Seattle for her all this time. He was tall and handsome and they lived happily ever after. The end."

Maggie quickly pulled the covers over her head as a barrage of pillows descended upon her.

"Alright ... alright!" Candy shouted. "The story is over. Everyone get some sleep. We have a big day tomorrow."

Maggie peeked out from her foxhole to see every girl in bed, and every candle out, save for her own and the one belonging to Candy, her next door neighbor.

The young woman was lost deep in thought. The smile in her eyes and on her lips left little doubt who or what was on her mind?

“Jeremy?” Maggie invaded her dream world.

Candy blushed and giggled. “That obvious huh?”

Maggie leaned closer. “Only when you're around him or talking about him or thinking about him…which is all the time ... .so yeah it's pretty obvious.”

Candy laughed, “As if you're any better when it comes to Joshua and I still think there was more that went on tonight in the galley than a late night snack.”

It was Maggie's turn to blush. “Honestly, I swear, the only thing that touched my lips was cheese and crackers, but .. if Biddie hadn’t come in when she did… “

Maggie’s voice trailed off as she relived the moment that almost was and the feelings that definitely were.

“Candy, when did you know?…I mean really know that you were in love with Jeremy?”

“Well…”, Candy thought for a moment. “It was a week after we’d set sail and I was on deck hanging the laundry and he came up to talk to me. He was so nervous and shy and self conscious about his stuttering, but then the ship rolled and when I fell he caught me and our eyes met. He held me for only a moment but our eyes were still locked. I could feel it in my heart and I knew he did too,

Maggie fell back into her pillow, “That is so… romantic. I’m really happy for you both.”

Candy grabbed Maggie's hands and pulled her back up. “And I’m really happy for you and Joshua.”

“Well…we do love our Bolt brothers.” Maggie giggled.

Suddenly Candy’’s eyes went wide, “Hey I just thought of something. If I marry Jeremy and you marry Joshua… then…”

Maggie’s eyes flashed as she saw where Candy was going and hurried to meet her there as they squealed in unison, “We would be SISTERS!”

Suddenly a pillow flew over their heads. “Hey…quiet down. I’m trying to sleep, protested some of the sleeping beauties.

Maggie and Candy giggled like a pair of school girls and eased back into their beds.

Candy picked up her candle and then turned to Maggie. “Good night. Sweet dreams… sis.”

“Sweet dreams…sis”. Maggie watched her friend and potential sister-in-law blow out the candle and snuggle down in her quilt.

She sat in silence for a moment, watching the flickering frame and sifting through the emotions her conversation with Candy had raised.

She thought about the love triangle that surrounded Joshua. In one corner, there was Kate who had crushed on all three Bolt brothers as characters from one of her favorite television shows. In another corner, there was Maggie BKA (Before Kate Arrived), who had fallen for him the day their eyes met at the town hall in New Bedford and whose love for him had grown with each moonlit stroll they’d taken over the last six months. Finally, in the third corner was this Maggie who was a combination of the first two and had awoken in this world less than 24 hours ago, having no idea where she truly was and yet from that moment in the galley when he held her in his arms and their eyes locked, she knew, just as Candy had known, she loved him.

As a yawn snuck up on her, there was something else she knew. She needed to get some sleep to face whatever, wherever, and whoever tomorrow held, but there was too much on her mind to give in just yet.

Originally, she had planned to go through Maggie's journals to know more about the girl she had become, but it was no longer necessary. All she had to do was relax, let Maggie be Maggie, and the memories, along with the emotions, came easily.

She considered the two women that she’d become. Save for a y chromosome and 160 years, they were the same woman. They both had loving parents. They both wanted to write, and they both came to Seattle to start a new life.

Then came the questions, still unanswered, and possibly could remain that way. Where was she really at, and was she really here? Did she die that night, and is this heaven? Had she gone mad, and was currently sitting in a cell, wearing a snuggie and being fed tapioca pudding?

Was she really in the world of her favorite television show, and did she have a two year life expectancy, lasting until ABC cancelled her? Or ... somehow, in some incredible, crazy, impossible way, all of this was real. It was 1866 and she was going to start a new life in Seattle.

The last possibility intrigued her most. What if all of this was real, and this timeline mirrored Kate's. Heavens to the space time continuum Marty, she could change the future with her knowledge! She had stayed awake long enough in American History to remember important dates. It was too late to save Lincoln, or stop the Civil War, but maybe she could save a few presidents. She might also ruin Leonardo DiCaprio’s career by warning the Titanic, assuming she lived that long and of course there was Seattle to think of. She knew many of the major events that were to come. She could get in on the ground level of some and prevent others, but could she or should she?

She sighed sadly as her time train came to a screeching halt. As Kate, she’d seen too many Twilight Zone’s, and read too many time travel books, to ignore the lesson they all preached. You might be able to change a few things, but for the most part, you couldn't change history. All you could do was become part of it.

She looked around the room at her sleeping women who were friends in every way that mattered. They were real, not scripted characters on a show. Each one had a story, and most had shared theirs on the long voyage.

To them, the Civil War wasn’’t a couple of chapters in a history book. It was a horrific event that cost many of them fathers, brothers and boyfriends. Anne, the transplanted Southern Belle of a wealthy shipping merchant, lost everything she couldn't pack in a wagon, when her father decided to support the Union and flee to Massachusetts.

These were real girls and real stories of the real world ... or at least as real as Maggie would ever know. She might not ever determine how she got here, or who brought her, but in her heart she knew her journey came with a one way ticket. For better or for worse, for life without the internet, and with the high probability of succumbing to small pox, typhus, cholera or even childbirth, this was her life for the rest of her life, so welcome to it.

Maggie blew out the last candle, and cuddled with Muffin, until sleep claimed her. Tomorrow was a new beginning for every woman there, maybe none more so than Maggie.

Chapter 24: Land Ho!

The next morning, Maggie awoke to a flurry of activity, as every woman was packing and primping for today's arrival. Like the rest of her sisters, she lent a hand or a foot to assist the others, and pushed and shoved for space in front of the mirror.

Sometime after noon the call came. "Land ho ... Land ho!" A hundred women scurried on deck to find a good spot to see their new home. Maggie had Muffin in her arms, and was flanked by Candy and Biddie. Doctor Mike stood a short distance away next to Anne and Becky. She was every bit as anxious to see her prospective patients as the girls were to see if the men were as "tall and strong as a Douglas Fir" as had Jason promised.
Maggie had to admit, her 26 inch digital television, never did 1860s Seattle justice. It was breathtakingly beautiful.

As the ship drew within a few hundred feet of shore, Jason addressed the crowd of hopefuls. "Ladies ... ladies!" he said to quiet them. "For six months you've endured the ocean, stormy weather, and less than palatable food. But ... you've done it with strength, with determination, with courage, and with the sole purpose to build a new life. Well ladies. look around. Tell me now ... have you ever seen hills this greenest green, skies this bluest blue, and can you smell it? There’s a scent of pine trees everywhere ... and tell me now, have you ever seen a day so fair?""

Biddie whispered in Maggie’s ear. "Weren’t you singing that song?"

Maggie giggled as Candy hushed her.

As the ship pulled into port, Jason tried to finish his pitch. " Now brides, prepare yourself, because look out ... here comes--"

"No Jason, you got that wrong!" Maggie shouted, stopping him in mid sentence. "It’s not look out brides, here comes Seattle. Oh no ... it’s look out Seattle, here comes the brides!"

Jason laughed and accepted the correction as the women cheered. One by one, they stepped onto the muddy streets of Seattle to choose their partners

As Maggie watched her ship sisters literally embracing their future, she looked back at the ship, and said a final goodbye to the life she’d left behind, but not to the woman she'd been. Kate was part of who she was, and would always be with her.

Spying a small stone on the deck, she chucked it high into air toward the harbor. As she watched it fly away, she sent all her questions , concerns and fears with it. It wasn't that overnight she'd found all the answers. It was that she realized the questions didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was that she was here and alive with a future. She was surrounded by people who loved and accepted her. Did a girl really need anything else?

As she watched the rock hit the water and extend it's ripples outward, she wondered if anything she would do in this life might somehow one day touch Kate's life 160 years in the future.

Seeing Candy and Biddie waiting for her, she turned and headed down the gang plank. One of the sailors took out his concertina and played a spritely tune. Maggie cuddled Muffin in her arms and announced, "Well girls ... look out Seattle, here we come!"

Chapter 25: Fade to Black

As the scene from 1866 Seattle does a slow fade to black, a scene from 2026 Seattle comes into focus. Kate was seated at her vintage typewriter. A page from the final rewrite of her novel had her consumed. She had debated for months whether she should change her main character to a transsexual, or leave her intersexed.

Obviously, she had based her character on herself and her own struggles. In the end, she decided it was just too close to home to make her intersexed, and switched her to transsexual. Only time would tell if she’d made the right decision.

The tea kettle's whistle startled Kate, and broke her concentration. Transferring Muffin from lap to arm, she pushed herself away from the desk, and walked to the kitchen to make a cup of tea.

She made the cup with milk and sugar, just as any good Anglophile would. As she watched the spoon swirl round and round in the cup, her thoughts turned from her character's drama to the one she faced in her own life.

She continued the mental debate that had kept her up most of the night. "Should you tell him or should you not? Did he really need to know everything? If you tell him, you could lose him, but if you don’t tell him and he finds out, you’ll definitely lose him. But what if you tell him, and he says he has no problem with it, but he never looks at you the same again? You couldn't bear that, but you can't bear living a lie ... or would that just be the sin of omission?"

Muffin nuzzled her to let her know her tea was getting cold, which once again brought her back to the land of the living. Easing into her rocker, she sipped her tea, and told herself it was pointless to continue the debate. It was resolved once she realized she had to tell him, come what may.

Once she had decided to deliver the poison, she had to determine in what form it should be administered. A text was too impersonal, face to face was too personal, and she’d be too nervous on the phone to get the words right. So, she went old school, and took the coward's way out. She wrote him a letter, and just before dawn, pushed it through his mail slot

If she’d placed it on the windscreen, she might have lost her nerve, and been tempted to retrieve it. Once she heard it drop to floor, she knew she had passed the point of no return.

On the drive back to her flat, she kept going over and over what she had written. She was a journalism major, and an award winning reporter. She had also written a book, yet to be published, but a book indeed. Still, it took her five hours to compose two pages.

In all fairness though, when a man tells you that he’s never met a woman like you, how do you tell him he’s probably right, but not for the reason he thinks?

How do you tell him ... how do you gently tell him that up until the age of 13, the woman of your dreams had a penis? You can throw in the fact that she had a vagina too, but you might just lose him at penis.

In the end, all she could do was start the story at the beginning, and give him the truth. She was born an hermaphrodite, or in other words, with genitals of both genders. There had been other complications as well, which made any gender altering surgeries out of the question at that time of her birth.

Her parents would not have opted for immediate surgery anyway. It was a 50/50 chance that they could've got it wrong. So they decided to treat her as gender neutral as possible, and allow he or she to find his or her self.

They weren’t kept in suspense long as she gravitated toward everything pink and girly they exposed her to. It was obvious she knew she was a girl before she could even say she was one.

Kate was raised as the girl she truly was, but she carried the additional appendage with her until she was 13. This was due to increased surgical risk from her anemia, and because no surgeon would operate until they felt she was able to participate in the decision.

Between five and 13, sleepovers, slumber parties, and swimming with friends never happened. Until the 7th grade, she had to use the faculty washroom. Even after surgery, most people's parents were wary of inviting her.

Kate's parents moved to give her a fresh start for high school. Nothing of the offending appendage remained, save for a few small surgical scars, and the major emotional ones she carried with her.

As high school transitioned into college, she acted as if the first thirteen years of her life didn’t exist. It became her big dark secret that she couldn’t share with anyone. She was convinced they would think of her as a freak, or something less than a whole woman, and they would never look at her the same way again.

She had wanted to share the secret a few times, but it wasn't until Josh came into her life that she knew she had to share it, even if she lost him. In the end, she didn’t write the letter because he had the right to know, she wrote it because he deserved to know.

At around half past seven that morning, he called several times, but she didn't have the courage to pick up. At eight she received a text that said, "Read your letter. We need to talk. I’ll be there after work. Love you."

She had looked at the text a hundred times at work. He ended it with "Love you," but ... did the words have the same meaning as they did before? Looking up at the clock, she had about an hour to kill before she found out .

Rather than watch the clock tick, she turned on the television and decided to go through today's mail. The sorting process went as usual: advert, advert, bill, advert, bill, free sample of Viagra ... she always loved getting those, another bill and then a letter from Pennington Publishers.

The rest of the mail fluttered to the floor as her heart pounded and her fingers trembled. She had sent her novel to ten different publishers, and received nine rejection letters. She was holding number ten. Even though she knew this letter was coming, she almost dreaded it more than welcomed it. If it was another rejection then she’d struck out completely.

She might just have to accept that the mainstream literary world wasn’t ready for a book about a transexual woman who woke up to find she was now a genetic woman, only transported to the world of her favorite television show, 160 years in the past. Maybe tonight she might have to accept the fact that she was a second rate writer, as well as a second rate woman.

She looked at Muffin pleadingly, "Do I really want to do this now? I mean, on the one hand, if it's good news and Josh is bad news they might cancel each other out ... sort of. But ... if it's bad news and Josh is bad news, then I’m going to be tempted to do a swan dive off the balcony, or down a bottle of sleeping pills. Of course, we don’t even need to consider the possibility that both are good news, because my lucks not that good. Soooo ... what do you think?"

Muffin meowed, then jumped off the rocker, finally settling on the rug in front of the fireplace.

Kate put the unopened letter on the end table next to her parents' picture. "You're absolutely right, baby. If I'm looking at facing my two biggest failures, then I need to revisit my greatest success."

Kate gently caressed the gold frame sitting on the mantle and proudly read the words aloud. "For literary excellence, and achievement in the truest spirit of the Seattle Star, we present the 2024 Freedom For All award to Kaitlyn Thomas."

She received the award for her investigative report during the 2024 presidential primaries. As the low girl on the totem pole, she had been given the inevitable task of doing a piece on one of the up and coming dark horse parties. They called themselves Americans For America, and their platform preached a better world through white supremacy, racism, hate, and violence. They stood for everything the Seattle Star and Kaitlyn Thomas stood against.

It was the last piece she ever wanted to write, but if she had to, she was going to do everything she could to expose them for what they were. She started digging immediately, even going undercover to their rallies. She could smell the stench, but she couldn’t prove where it was coming from, until she found her own "Deep Throat," in a bar outside a Seattle rally.

He was drunk. He had been ousted from the party for having a less than pure blood line, and he wanted to talk. By the time the bar closed, she didn’t just have proof there were bodies, she knew where they were, and who buried them.

The next day, she brought her story and the proof to the editor. It went out on the front page of the evening edition, and was picked up by every news service world wide. She put the light on them, and when the authorities raided the party headquarters, they ran like rats off a sinking ship. The Captain of the ship went down with it, and was found guilty on enough charges to keep him behind bars for the rest of his life.

By the time of the next primary, the AFA was just a footnote in an election that saw the candidate endorsed by the Seattle Star sweep into office with a decisive victory. Antonia Gianelli became the first woman or transsexual woman to be elected president. The former therapist and senator from Massachusetts issued a new era of acceptance, respect and freedom for all. Kate liked to believe that in her own small way, she helped make it possible.

At least for now, she was a winner and no matter what else happened. Nobody and nothing could take away her "Maggie". Her FFA award was known by those who worked for the Star as a "Maggie", in honor of the woman who founded the Seattle Star in 1867.

Everyone in newspaper circles knew the story of Mary Margaret "Maggie" O’Malley-Bolt. She was a true pioneer in every sense of the word. She traveled 3000 miles on a mule boat to settle in the tiny logging town of Seattle.

Within her first year of arriving, she married her true love Joshua Bolt, who after being one of the first responders at the Great Seattle Fire of 1889, would become a major developer in the rebirth of downtown Seattle.

As a wedding present for his young bride, he obtained a used printing press from San Francisco, and built her a small office where Maggie published the first issue of the Seattle Star, April 10th, 1867.

The paper started out slowly as the townsfolk were skeptical of a “newspaper woman”, but with the brides and the Bolt family to back her, it wasn’t long before nearly every business and household became regular subscribers

The Star started out as a single page publication reaching about four to five hundred readers, but as Seattle grew, The Star grew too. Soon it was regularly seen in Tacoma and Olympia. The paper did more than report news and events. It gave people practical information on all the latest medical and technical advances, and how they could improve their lives.

Her biggest contribution was found in the three small letters that were printed above the paper's name. They stood as the heart, the soul, and the mission statement of the paper. The letters were FFA ... "Freedom For All". 160 years later, every edition still carried them.

She rang freedom for all through her editorials, which she continued to write up until her death in 1929. She was the champion for every group and every people who were victims of discrimination and prejudice.

She stood up for the Chinese immigrants in San Francisco, and demanded their release from slavery, as Lincoln had the African Americans. Over 60 years, her paper and her voice demanded fair treatment for the American Indian, women, and every citizen ... regardless of race, color or creed.

Her ideals carried on after her death, as the Seattle Star was the first paper to support Roosevelt's New Deal in the 1930’s, and Kennedy’s civil rights legislation in the 1960’s. People considered her a visionary whose insight spoke to the present about the future. Unfortunately, one of her greatest warnings about what lay ahead was never heard until it was too late.

On her death bed in April of 1929, she wrote a piece warning that the dangers of continued stock speculation on the economy could result in a major economic recession. Unfortunately, the article wasn’t discovered until her grandaughter found it among her personal papers two years later, and the country was in the midst of the Great Depression she predicted. . People have often debated if her prophetic words could've changed history, but no one debated her contributions to it.

It was her story that inspired Kate to join the high school paper. It was in her honor that Kate assumed the pen name "Maggie O’Malley" to write her columns and stories. She inspired her to choose Journalism as a major at Boston College, and to go 3000 miles to Seattle, just to work for the paper she’d built.

Kate knelt down and scooped Muffin up. "You know girl, if it hadn’t been for Maggie, I wouldn’t be the Kate I am today. I just wish I had a way to thank her."

Kate's eyes drifted to the picture next to her award. It was a miniature reproduction of the original that hung in the lobby of the Seattle Star and featured Maggie silhouetted against the night sky aboard the ship that carried her to Seattle and holding her beloved kitty Muffin in her arms.

'Well ... who knows Maggie, maybe I can get that novel published that you always wanted to write, but never got the chance."

With new found courage she walked over to the table and picked up the envelope. She took a deep breath, released it and then tore open the flap. As she pulled the letter from it, the doorbell rang. The letter fell from her fingers and drifted to the floor. She knew it was Josh. She knew it was D-Day. She just hoped the "D" didn’t stand for defeat, disaster or disappointment.

She grabbed the doorknob and looked at Muffin. "Well girl ... this is it."

She turned the knob and opened the door wide, greeting Josh with, "Look out Seattle ... here I come."

He greeted her with a dozen red roses, a balloon with the words "I Love You" written on it, a large pizza from Andy's, and a sparkle in his eyes that said nothing in this world could change his love for her, and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life proving it.

It was everything she could ever hope for, and even more, because once they finished the pizza and the "celebrating" that night, they read the letter informing Kate that her story had been accepted for publication.

Somewhere, a sailor was playing a spritely tune on his concertina as they turned out the lights for another round of "celebration."

Hugs

**************************

You made it to the end. I hope you enjoyed the journey.

I want to thank a few people who without their help this story never would've been posted.

Thanks to Piper, Sephrina, Teek and all the others who led me through the cybermaze of getting this story posted CORRECTLY.

Thanks to all who commented. I made several edits to my story after posting because you raised some really good points. Thank you for making my story better by making it our story.

Thanks to the writers and actors who created Here Comes the Brides. Their talent and magic created entertainment that I enjoyed so much that it woke up my “moose” and encouraged her to share a story with me so I could be a part of that world.

And…a very special thanks to my big Cuz Heather Rose Brown who encouraged me to write and then edited my crayon scrawls and kitten prints into a postable story. Thanks Cuz. You're the bestest. Love and hugs.

Final thoughts…sometimes the game of life sucks. Sometimes we get dealt lousy cards and we just want to fold, but fantasy, be it as a writer or a reader, gives you a chance for a reshuffle and a fair hand. So to all of you out there playing, I hope you always have a wild card in the hole and an ace up your sleeve.

Love and hugs Maggiethekitten