As castles go, Jordan Castle is a bit of a non event. It was never one of big stone things rather it was more like a manor house with some defences around it, today its just some lumps in a field. Johnny’s Specialised only has one sprocket at the back but I found myself grateful for the multiple gears on Mum’s bike as I toiled up the lane.

It’s a private road officially, as a result any traffic is usually agricultural or from one of the houses but we locals often use it to access Wellow Park woods. I turned onto the short drive into Foliat House but ended up getting off and pushing as the bike didn’t like the deep gravel. My steed propped by the door, I rang the bell.

"Ah Daisy, your aunt said you were on your way, come on through to the conservatory.”

Alice Porter is, fully proportioned, okay, a large woman, not fat just big, Mr Porter on the other hand, who I could see out in the garden, is of a smaller, compact build.

"Sit yourself down luv, you want a drink?”
"I’m, er, fine thanks.”
"In that case, lets get down to business eh? I’ll pull the drapes, prying eyes eh, strip to your undies and we can get started.”

I’m no prude, lets face it, ten years of communal changing rooms at school and the cricket club tend to break down any inhibitions you might have started with. However, that was Johnny and this request was to Daisy. Oh I know what you’re thinking, ‘you used the changing rooms last week when you were dress shopping’, well yes I did but they weren’t communal and I wasn’t showing what I do and don’t have to all and sundry.

"Undies?”
"Well I can’t measure you over your clothes girl,” she retorted.
"But, but…”
"Daisy luv, you don’t have anything I’ve not seen before.”
"Er right.”
She pulled the curtains to, "Chop chop then.”

Well I had tucked Little Johnny away carefully before I rode out here and my modest bust is a product of enhancing lingerie so what was I worried about? It still didn’t feel right to me but hey ho, I did sign up to all this so get over it Dais. With a sigh I pulled my t shirt off then undid my skirt and stepped out of it, I had clothes on but boy did I feel exposed.

Alice Porter slowly walked around me, uhming, aahing and occasionally even tutting as she went.

"Lets get you measured then you can get yourself dressed again okay?”
"Um, okay.”

And so that’s what happened. There was more tutting and sighing from Mrs P as I was measured pretty much anywhere you can measure.

"Right, all done.”
"So?”
"Well its not as bad as I feared, you aren’t too much different from poor Amanda, well apart from the obvious, I think with a bit of padding we can adapt the gown I started for her. Hmm, maybe some sort of girdle might help give you a bit more shape.”

I started to redress.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa young lady.”
"I thought we were finished?”
"Measuring yes but as you are within a gnats of the gown, I think we need to try that and see what it looks like on, its one thing to have the numbers, quite another to look at things in the flesh so to speak. Wait here and I’ll fetch it down.”
"Er, okay.”

And she was off, leaving me stood in my underwear. Being a boy, I never paid much, well any attention to what the May Queen actually wore for the proceedings beyond it being white. And what did she mean by girdle? Isn’t that some sort of belt?

When she returned it was with what looked like a couple of bed sheets draped over her arm.

"Right young lady, lets let the fox see the rabbit, arms up.”

The ‘gown’ was indeed white, however it was decorated at the hem, sleeves and neckline with colourful embroidery, small flowers from what I could see. The sleeves and skirt were both wide, the bodice, stiffer and more fitted. Mrs P fussed about, tugging and occasionally making notes.

"Well, the good news is that there isn’t much actual alteration needs doing, I’ll see what I can get girdle wise which will help, the biggest job will be giving you a bit more bust.”
"Bigger boobs?”
"I know its not exactly PC these days but the gown will look better if you have a bit more up top.”
"A padded bra?”
"There are other ways, leave it with me Daisy, we’ll do another fitting next weekend?”
"Er sure.”
"Lets get you out of that then you can get dressed and back to whatever you young un’s get up to these days.”
"Serving tables,” I sighed.
"Claire’s got you trained well,” she suggested as she helped me disrobe.
"Slave labour more like.”
"Oh it can’t be that bad.”
"The work isn’t bad, its the customers that are the problem.”
"They can’t be that bad.”
"Well mostly not,” I allowed pulling my skirt back into place, "But we had a family in earlier who were so entitled, demanding this and that, then they left everything like a bomb had gone off.”
"That bad?”
"Worse.”

I set off back home, glad to have that experience over but now fretting over an enhanced bosom and improved shape actually meant. The dress itself didn’t seem too bad, not too much of me will be on display, maybe it won’t be so bad. I coasted back down the hill and was back at the Red Lion in under ten minutes.

"How’d it go?” Aunt Claire enquired when she spotted me hanging my bag in the hall, "You weren’t gone long.”
I checked the time on my phone, "Over an hour, it been busy?”
"Not really, so, how was it?”
"Okay I guess, apparently I’m pretty much the same size as Amanda so we can use that dress quite easily.”
"That’s good.”
"S’pose, just need a bit of padding up top and some girdle thing to give me ‘more shape’.”
"Oh the joys of womanhood,” Mum chuckled, "Talking of which, how is your chest today?”
"The E forty five seems to be working.”
"I was talking to Becca earlier, she was in with that Caleb lad from over Laxton way, she’s going to drop off some cortisone cream that she used to use, stopped things before they got sore.”
"The E stuff does that,” I mentioned.
"No it doesn’t, it treats the symptoms, this cortisone stuff stops you breaking out in hives to start with.”
"Whatever, do you need me this evening? I really should do some revising, we’ve got a pop quiz in geography tomorrow.”
"We should be able to cope kiddo, I’ve done some sandwiches for supper and we’ll have that left over minestrone soup Alex did on Wednesday, if you can warm it up about eight?”
"Sure.”
"I’d best get back to the bar, your father will wonder where I’ve got to.”

My second week at Wellow House started all too soon. Much like last week, the fifth form were starting the day with a study period in the library, a ‘gift’ made possible by there being no art classes until the exams start. At my old school this arrangement would’ve meant anarchy but I doubt my new classmates even considered skipping off or mucking about.

No, instead everyone had work and text books piled around and whilst not sat in silence, conversation was muted and mostly actually pertinent to our revision.

"You get a frock on Saturday Dais?” Jess asked as we headed outside at morning recess.
"No, we got a top and skirt.”
"You don’t sound too enthused.”
I gave a shrug, "What is there to say, sort of Boho, long cream skirt and a sort of flouncy top to match.”
"Thought it was for a funeral?” Jess posited.
"It is, apparently no one is to wear black, the parents want it to be a celebration of life rather than a depressing, sad occasion.”
"An interesting take on things.”
"How was Mansfield?”
"About as exciting as usual.”
"So you get to do anything else at the weekends?”
"There’s clubs and stuff, some of the girls have their ponies here so they go riding.”
"What about you?”
"Not my thing.”
"What is your thing?”
"Film club.”
"Watching them?”
"Sometimes but we make some too.”
"Really?”
"We’ve been making a sort of Nordic Noir thriller since New Year, well supposed to be.”
"Supposed to be?”
"Yeah, our leading lady left school a couple of weeks ago, her Pa was recalled home to Australia.”
"Bummer,” I allowed, "And you can’t get anyone else?”
"No one wants to commit, if we don’t get someone this week we’ll probably have to scrap everything, our leading man is in the upper sixth so he’s off to Cambridge in September.”
"I’d help if I could,” I let out without thinking, "Be a shame to waste all that work.”
"Yeah,” Jess lamented, "Hey maybe you can!”"You doing anything after school Dais?” Jess enquired as we all gathered for the first class of the afternoon, biology.
"Aerobics at the village Hall,” I told her.
"Really?”
"Aunt Claire insists and as she’s Loco Parentis what she say’s goes.”
"That sucks.”
"Yep,” I agreed, "So what’s happening after classes?”
"Film club, I spoke to some of the others and they’re keen to meet you.”
"Meet me? Why?”
"So you can save Repton dumb ass.”
"Who or what is Repton?”
"I told you this morning, the thriller we’ve been making, you said you’d help. What about tomorrow night?”

I was in a quandry, if I make more excuses I’ll look like a right, as Jess puts it, dumb ass, heck, I don’t even know what they, she, want me to do. It couldn’t hurt could it? Its not like I’ve a burning desire to sit in the bar, sipping lemonade listening to Dickie Smart and Jethro Fletcher winding each other up again.

"Nothing doing as far as I know.”
"Great,” Jess enthused, "You’re a life saver!”

At which point she gave me a quick hug.