CHAPTER 12
That really sealed the evening for us, but it left Amina silent in the cab home, which was unusual for her. She did the usual pottering about once we were home, putting away a few bits of crockery, then just led the way upstairs. It wasn’t until we were both settled under the duvet that she started to talk once more.
“I am so, so glad I’m not like those girls, love”
“What’s brought this on?”
“Oh, just realising how simple it is being gay. I mean, it’s not simple, but you know what I mean. Not like having to work out who you are AND who you fancy”
“Alwen?”
“All of them, love. Not just the girls, is it? Look at what happened to that young lad, Grant?”
“I remember. I still don’t know if they found the man who hurt him, you know?”
I snuggled down and pulled her into a closer cuddle.
“I know he reported it, cause I know most of the coppers that were there, but I was talking to Graham for a bit”
“Tenerife Graham?”
“Yes. The way you lot got through the sangria, I felt like a one-woman bucket chain. Anyway, he was talking about how things were, back where he comes from. He’s known Debbie Prosser for a very long time, you know”
“I got that impression”
“Yeah. That remembrance thing Alicia was talking about, well, I think it had something to do with her parents. They, Debbie and her parents, used to stay with Graham for a while each Summer, up in Northumberland—by that beach he mentioned?”
“Got you”
“Well, that was the thing. Debbie moved to Cardiff, the boys came down to visit, and they couldn’t get enough of The Smugglers”
“Safe space?”
“Safe space. Rural Northumberland, not so much. Even in the city, Newcastle, it was risky. I got the impression that if you did get grief, you didn’t go to the police”
“You’re saying… reporting it would make it worse?”
“Indeed. I mean, there were coppers in that gang that was targeting twinks. So a lot of it never got reported”
“I’ve sort of guessed that, but it’s different for blokes. I don’t think nastier, just more overtly bloody violent. Then again, that man that hurt Grant, what exactly did he think he was punching?”
She wriggled a bit before continuing.
“That came out wrong; didn’t mean to say the lad’s a ‘thing’. Just, well, lad comes on to another lad, he risks a kicking. Girl comes on to the wrong girl, she usually gets hurty words. Not always, of course; there’s enough vicious cows out there, like that one that killed the man up by the castle. Anyway, what I’m getting at is, Alicia, the others, they first have to get people to accept them as who they are, and THEN that bloody minefield. Alwen, trying to work out which way she swings---”
“I don’t think Maria was helping matters”
“Really, love? I suspect she was. Alwen said it, about drifting. Too easy to do that; one of my worst nightmares, back when Lil and me split: is this it? Do I end up old and alone?”
“So you only married me for senior care duties?”
“Being serious, love. Heard it called ‘druthers’. Too easy to end up with a life of missed opportunities, regrets, aye? Thank god someone did a little matchmaking, is what I say”
“And if it all goes tits up? Matt and her?”
“Then she has a clearer idea of who she is, and more to the point, so do other people around her. It’s… I’m thinking of Gemma Cakes, aye? Frank says she gets much less grief than she used to, especially since she got wed”
Another squeeze, and she continued in a softer voice.
“That’s sort of what I was saying about the violence, love. Not just her at risk now; wrong arsehole reads her, and it’s Matt who risks a kicking, for being a bumboy, puff, the rest of that shit”
She sighed, long and deep, and her free hand cupped my breast.
“Safe here, in so many ways. I know who I am, I know who you are I know there’s a whole group of friends at Uni watching each other’s backs, but I still worry it’ll be a bumpy ride for Matt. Just need to do a bit of your job; be ready to pick up the pieces”
I couldn’t argue with any of that, but she still seemed far more on edge than could be explained by third party worries, so I pressed the point.
“What’s got you so wound up, love? I know you”
“You should do; you married me”
“Yup. So what’s been jerking your chain?”
She lay silent for a while, then sighed.
“It’s Mam”
“YOUR Mam? What way?”
“Ah, love, not her, not really. She’s just been catching shit. Family back in Pakistan, aye?”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake! Not shit like that Rhodes family?”
“Oddly, no. It’s her. Dad and his… Dad and his cousin are very happy up in Brum. It’s her family, and her. They gave up on me years ago, so they’re lining up old men for her. Something about a land dispute over there. I get lost in all that shit, but the great great aunties and uncles are pushing hard”
“Like when they tried to get you to go over there?”
“Tried and failed, like I tried and bloody succeeded in telling them to fuck off. Don’t care how many shops or fields fifteenth cousin fucking Abdul or whatever might own, I do NOT do blokes”
I chuckled.
“I had sort of worked that one out, love”
“Yeah, and so did Mam, eventually. Took a while, but we got there”
She looked up.
“Took a bloody long while, though. Wasn’t till I got her thinking it was her own idea. Anyway, it’s Mam that’s the target. Village politics, really. Don’t really think they’re bothered if she goes over there or not, as long as they get her name on the necessary bits of paper. Not worried about me; I’m the non-person pervert”
“How’s your Mam taking it?”
“Oh, wobbly, isn’t it? She’s happy as she is, but she’s got no angels, just a demon on each shoulder, one talking about family duty, the other whining on about women without men being failures. I mean, she’s got us, so she’s never going to be alone, but the bloody Patriarchy has its claws deep in her. What purpose does she have without a man’s meals to make and his arse to wipe?”
That last snipe broke the mood, as it set us both laughing, but she sobered quickly.
“What do we do, love? Find her some random bloke we trust?”
Amina was laughing as she said it, but then added, “To be honest, I don’t think Mam’s that into men anymore, after my father, but she still has that little ‘doing the right thing’ stick up her arse. I suppose we just need to keep on keeping on, love. Just, well, I think we need to let her see she’s not on her own, not really”
“What? Night out at the Smugglers?”
“Seriously? I had thought of that, on a quiz night”
“You’re perverse, woman!”
“But you like me that way”
“True”
“Serious head on again, I think, well, as long as we steer her away from the disco room, she’d see it as a giggle. Naughty but nice, aye? And can you think of anyone less threatening than the bears?”
She suddenly barked out a laugh.
“Don’t tell her you know this, but you remember that Christmas we had over there, couple of years ago? I mean, I know it wasn’t strictly Christmas, but we took a case of prosecco?”
“I remember”
“Well, there were a couple of bottles left”
“I know. I picked them up a fortnight later”
“Did you look at them?”
“Why?”
“Well, I did, when we had Tom and Connie over. I’d got a deal on Sainsbury’s own brand”
“And?”
“The bottles you brought back were Tesco’s”
“The cheeky woman!”
“Sneaky, cheeky, little old wine drinker her. I don’t think she’ll get along with pork, though, or whelks”
“I don’t get along with whelks, love”
“Yeah, but you warm my cockles”
I so love my wife.
Tom and I were back on glorified taxi runs for a while, thank god, which left me with fewer bruises as there was no real need to play Super Whatever Cart with our van, and Amina started dropping hints with her mother.
To my astonishment, it worked. Three of us turned up at the pub, Hira’s eyes everywhere as we entered to a set of bows and cap raising from our smoky bears.
“Do they not get too hot wearing all that leather, Ami?”
“I have no idea, Mam. We’re not exactly each other’s types, are we? Now, this is our bar”
“Elaine Powell? The one who stopped those men?”
I laughed, as we paused outside the door.
“Knowing Elaine, I suspect she’s stopped a lot of men”
“No. That gang of thugs. Hurt all those young men. She was the one, wasn’t she?”
Amina nodded.
“The same, Mam. There’s likely to be some of her team here tonight; it’s sort of their place”
“Good. Will everyone be, you know…?”
“Gay, Mam? No. And do you remember Lil?”
“She wasn’t right for you, Ami. I told you that”
“You told me lots of things, Mam, and we have agreed to forget a lot of them. Lil and I are still friends, so let’s be nice tonight. Oh, and we know about those bottles”
“Bottles?”
“The Italian fizz, Mam. Not a problem. Just one question: did you enjoy it?”
The old lady looked at her feet, and in a small voice, admitted, “Yes…”
“Well, no problem, then. Some etiquette, though. There will probably be some people in the quiz calling themselves ‘bakers’. They are lovely people, but VERY cutthroat. The compere, Marlene, is very abusive, but it’s all an act. If she picks on you, think of it as an honour. And Lil will be behind the bar, and probably sit with us afterwards. Now, are you ready?”
Hira nodded, squaring her shoulders, and my wife put a hand to the door.
“Right. Let’s go to quiz”