~* New Beginnings *~ “Oh don’t give me that look. You’ve never spoiled Jen and Ally, and you know it. Don’t get me wrong though; it’s not that I’m too proud to accept a gift or anything, but…” I trailed off. She frowned. “But what?” “Mom and Margie are both worried that we’re taking things too fast. We’re only fifteen, you know?” “What are you saying, that you don’t want to go out with me anymore?” she asked nervously.

---

“Widen your stance a little, Robin, and loosen your knees,” Josh instructed: Josh being the sixteen-year-old senior-student at Alpine Springs’ Kenpo Karate dojo. He also happened to be Jennifer’s dashing knight in shining armor. A lot’s happened since camp. I still thought he looked older than sixteen.

“Like this?” I asked as I tried to awkwardly bend my knees, eliciting a laugh from him.

“Almost. Here, watch me.” I watched as he fell into a loose, natural stance like he’d been doing it his whole life. What a show-off! At least Allison wasn’t here to watch me make a complete fool of myself.

She had another meeting with Doctor Ketz, the therapist who helped me come to grips with who I really am inside, and not the body I was born with. Jennifer and Nicole, on the other hand, were more than happy to sit o the sidelines for this. At the moment though they thankfully stepped outside to get me a bottled water.

“Robin?” Josh waved his hand in front of my face, causing me to blink several times. “What’s up? You’re a space case today.”

“I’m sorry Josh,” I said softly. “It’s just I’m so nervous about school starting in a couple of weeks. You know: new girl, new school, new life…” New breasts; I mean, they weren’t huge, but they were finally starting to develop at least. Josh had no idea that before coming to Alpine Springs I had been pretending to be ‘Robert’. All he knew was that Nicole and I were close, and that looking out for me meant bonus points with her, plus he really was a nice guy, and fun to hang out with.

Since it was just the two of us trying to catch me up on the basics, the dojo’s owner, Sensei Ashton Rogers allowed us to use a small, semi-private room normally used for storage.

Josh shot me a friendly smile as he responded, “Hey, it’s cool. We can pick up here later if you want. Just remember Sensei wants you to master the basics before he officially takes you as a student. No pressure,” he added with a teasing grin.

“Gee, that helps so much,” I shot back sarcastically as I laughed. I again fell into the fighting stance he tried to show me earlier.

“Better. Okay, now hold that stance while I get the pads. We’re going to see how high you can kick.”

I hadn’t noticed Nicole and Jennifer’s return, instead focusing on ‘holding that stance’, which was a lot harder than it sounded. Nicole, sporting a cute too-tight black top and jeans with just a touch of my favorite shade (on her at least) of plum lipstick strolled up and wrapped her arms around me from behind, offering me the unopened water.

“You look so hot in that outfit,” she commented on my simple, white karate gi while kissing my cheek. I giggled and opened the bottle, guzzling a few quick gulps. I handed it back to her as I turned to wrap her in a quick hug in gratitude.

“Thanks. I actually like the black one Josh wears, but there’s probably some symbolism to the color that I’m not getting.”

“Well, there kind of is,” Josh spoke up behind me, causing me to absolutely squeal as I spun back around. He grinned, laughing to himself as he held up the two foot long pad, setting it aside.

“You’re still jumpy. Don’t worry; Sensei Rogers will help you with that when you’re ready. As for the black gi, in our dojo at least, it represents a higher level of knowledge and training. The white represents purity and respect for the Master, and only instructors are allowed to wear mixed colors like black bottoms with a white robe or vicie versie” Visie versie? Josh had already been hanging around Nicole too long.

“Very good, Josh,” an older male voice spoke from the door. I looked over to see Sensei Rogers smiling at us. He had a strong jaw and slightly messy, medium length brown hair, but yet somehow I felt safe in his presence.

We both turned to bow respectfully, as Josh spoke up, “Sensei Rogers, I was just about to test Robin’s range of motion.” He motioned to the heavy black pad resting at his feet.

“Carry on. I just stopped in to watch.” He grinned, causing Josh to return a nervous smile. I hadn’t seen the poor guy this uneasy since we first met him at the party supply store back before the luau. It was kind of cute, in a goofy, boyish way.

Josh picked up the pad and strapped it to his arm, holding it up above my head: not a difficult task at my meager five feet four inches. Josh towered over me like a lot of boys. At least Nicole didn’t have too much height on me. “All right, Robin. Whenever you throw a kick…”

Sensei, Jennifer, and Nicole looked on as I followed Josh’s instructions. I took my stance and lifted my leg as hard as I could. Unfortunately I put just a little too much pepper behind it and soon found myself flying backwards. I landed squarely on my posterior on the martial arts mat, groaning. Josh laughed quietly as he offered me his hand, and for my part, I gave him a good-natured raspberry as I pulled myself up.

“Don’t worry; nobody gets it on the first try.”

Throughout the next ten minutes of practice, I couldn’t help increasingly noticing Sensei’s stare; I couldn’t decide if he was watching me or Josh, or both. It did make me a little nervous, but I pressed on anyway. Finally, Josh tossed the practice pad aside and bowed to me. Caught off-guard by the sudden expression, I clumsily bowed in return.

“Nice job. Now, the last thing I want to show you is how to deal with someone who tries to grab you. This isn’t a Kenpo throw, but as Sensei says, sometimes you have to climb a tree to see the rest of the forest.”

I blinked at him then turned to Sensei Rogers, hoping for an explanation. “Um… Sorry, I’m not up on my ancient proverbs. What does that mean?”

“Admitting we know nothing is the first step on the path to enlightenment.” Sensei responded enigmatically, adding, “As to your question, it means that just because you study in one style, doesn’t mean you have to limit yourself to only learning that one style. It’s best to keep your study simple, but there will be times, especially at school, where you’ll need to defend yourself without hurting someone.

“May I?” He nodded toward Josh, as though he’d refuse. Josh quickly hopped back off the mat, and Sensei stepped forward. He bowed to me, and I to him.

“Now, hit me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Hit me, and don’t hold back. Don’t flinch or cower. Come at me with all you have.”

“Okay…” I responded nervously. I ran forward and tried to hit him with a clumsy, closed-fisted punch. Before I even have time to blink, I found myself staring at the ceiling. The funny thing is it didn’t hurt. I’d swear I thought I felt him lower me to the ground in that split second. He offered his hand, which I gladly accepted.

“That was amazing!” I gushed. “How did you do that? I mean, I didn’t even feel it!”

He chuckled. “That was a simple defensive takedown. Here, stand over there and watch. Josh, you’re up!”

I stood with the other girls and watched as Josh rushed in trying to throw an open-palmed strike to Sensei’s midsection. To his credit, he had a lot more agility and accuracy than my pathetic attempt, but he still wound up flat on his backside, causing us to giggle quietly.

Sensei pulled him to his feet, calling me over again. This time, they repeated the maneuver in slow-motion, instructing me on how to plant my feet and how to use my opponent’s momentum against him while bracing the impact, as what he referred to as a ‘tactical scare’.

“If your opponent believes you can take them down so easily, they will think twice about pursuing further violence. Remember, the trick is not to get into this situation in the first place, but if you HAVE to protect yourself, use as little force as is necessary to get out of the situation and find help. Martial Arts when practiced properly ARE an art and a matter of self-preservation, first: always.”

“Yes sir,” I offered respectfully. A few more rounds of learning to put Josh on his butt from different angles of approach, including him ‘attacking’ me from behind, and Sensei dismissed us.

“Robin,” Sensei Rogers called as I gathered my duffle bag with my change of clothes in it. I looked up and smiled.

“Yes sir?”

“Please, call me Sensei. I’ve decided to accept you as a student. I don’t like to teach too many at once because it diminishes the value for each of you, but you strike me as someone with the determination to go far.”

“Yes Sensei,” I offered, grinning cheerfully as I picked up the purple duffle bag and approached him, bowing.

“Dismissed. I’ll see you next week. However, if you should find time before then to spar with Josh, I would do so. The hottest fire produces the purest steel.” For an American, he really reminded me of the old man from those Karate movies with the runty kid.

A few minutes later, Nicole ran up and caught me in a warm hug as I left the women’s restroom after changing into my street clothes: a pale yellow top and white shorts. Jennifer and Josh strolled up a few seconds later.

“Robin, thanks so much for letting Josh help you,” Jennifer said warmly. Josh shot her a nervous glance, causing me to chuckle.

“Um, you’re welcome, but really I welcomed the lesson. And the fact that when you laugh at me for falling on my butt, I know you don’t mean anything by it,” I teased with a wink.

He chuckled, “No, really, you’ve been a big help. The only way Sensei will let me test for my next belt is if I could demonstrate that I could teach someone else. Alpine Springs isn’t exactly New Haven though, so new students who’ll actually stick with it more than a day are hard to come by. I owe you one.”

“Watch my back at school and we’ll call it even?” I bargained. I was only half-joking.
“You’ve got it. But by the time school starts you hopefully won’t need me anyway… Even if you do kick like a girl,” he teased, causing Jennifer to elbow his side. “Ow! Sorry! It was a joke!” She grinned, leaning up to kiss his cheek as Nicole and I giggled.

Josh offered to give us a ride home, which we happily accepted. The sun still rested high in the sky, and the clock on Josh’s dad’s car radio declared it only 5:21, so rather than drive straight home we stopped off at a drive-through for dinner. Of course I phoned home to let Margie and Mom know we’d be a little late, and offered to get them something as a peace offering. They both politely declined, though we did get a vanilla milkshake for Allison, who would be home from New Haven by the time we arrived.

Sure enough, as we pulled into the driveway, we could hear familiar strains of electric guitar from the Jones’ open garage. Nicole and I stepped out, while Josh and Jennifer waved their goodbyes, so the two of us walked across the yard hand-in-hand. Allison seemed so absolutely focused on her electric guitar, her head bent down slightly as fingers danced across the frets that she didn’t even hear us approach.

Nicole grinned that ‘I’m going to get yelled at for this’ grin, holding her finger to her lips in a shushing motion and tiptoed around, unplugging the amplifier. Allison’s ponytail bounced as she jerked her head upward. An expression of sudden, if brief panic raced across her features. She glowered at Nicole.

“Jeeze, don’t SCARE me like that! I thought I blew a breaker or something!”

“With the light on?” Nicole prodded playfully, wrapping her in a hug and giggling. I walked over and offered her milkshake to her.

“Oh right.” She laughed after a moment, giving me a puzzled glance as she accepted my gift. “What’s this for?”

“We felt bad about going out to dinner without you so we got you something. Josh and Jen were starving.”

“Robin was too,” Nicole laughed. “I swear she could eat a deep-fried buffalo and not gain a pound!”

Allison giggled as she slurped her sweet treat. “Aww, thanks! It’s cool though. Mom and I stopped off for pizza on the way home. How was practice?”

“Awesome!” Nicole excitedly answered for me. “Robin got thrown on her butt a bunch of times, but then the Sensei dude taught her how to throw Josh on his butt too!” Sensei dude? Was it any wonder I loved this girl?

Allison glanced at me with a giggle, “Awesome. We’ll have to spar some time. I mean, I only know some basic defensive stuff, but maybe if we practiced together, then I’ll feel more confident about actually using what I was taught if…” she hesitated, looking between the two of us with a soft smile, “If we’re ever in trouble again.”

“How was therapy?” I asked, reminded by Allison’s comment of what we’d come to refer to as ‘the incident’. Doctor Ketz refused to violate doctor-patient confidentiality even for the two of us, but we always talked about it later anyway.

“Great. I’m so glad you suggested I talk to her. I’m finally starting to think about boys again. Uh, not that I was thinking about girls either,” she added quickly. “It’s just the thought of a guy trying something with me seemed so scary for awhile.”

“I know what you mean. I’m still a little scared of that. I mean, if someone grabs me wrong they’re going to get a handful of something they’ll never forget,” I sighed softly as I leaned on Joe’s white Silverado pickup, parked a few feet from where Allison and Nicole usually set up their guitars.

Nicole quickly moved from Allison’s side to mine, leaning her head into my shoulder. “If any guy so much as looks at you funny I’ll rip his balls off and feed them to him,” she offered in a tone that, to be honest, frightened me just a little.

“I’ll hold him down while you do, Nikki,” Allison reassured. I couldn’t help smiling at that. At least it wasn’t just Nicole, though I knew where both were coming from. Nicole’s real father abused her in ways I vowed to never repeat, and Allison had the Raggedy Man to put the fear of God in her.

I guess I had Arnold beating the stuffing out of me, but that several months ago and a distant, all-but-forgotten memory by now. It didn’t hurt that Josh played varsity sports year-round, shattering my image of jocks as all being meat-headed pigs.

We sat and talked for awhile, moving inside where Kelly and Carol stood in the kitchen chatting away about something. They suddenly grew silent when they saw us though so I’ll never know what it was, exactly. Kelly smiled as I came right over to put my arms around her, and then Carol.

“Hey Robin, what’s up?” she asked cheerily.

“Just got back from practice. How’s the new job?”

She beamed, “It’s not Crisis Medical, but the pay is okay, plus I get to live next to Margie while I find a more permanent place, which of course means I can come over and check on your mom anytime I’m not at work. Overall I like it; feels good to be home.”

“It’s good to have you around. I know Mom’s headaches had everyone scared for awhile.” I gave her another quick hug in gratitude for all she’s done for us then turned to head downstairs, where Allison and Nicole were already waiting to kick my butt at pool.

Somewhere around around six, my cell phone rang. I flipped it out, setting my stick aside as I hopped up on the barstool. “Robin’s phone: Robin speaking.”

Static.

“Hello?”

Nothing; I hung up the phone.

“Wrong number I guess,” I shrugged.

“Weird. Hey Robin, you’ have to work tomorrow don’t you?” Nicole asked. I nodded.

“Last day too.” Over the summer Nicole and I both scored temporary jobs at the new Alpine Springs mini-mall. I got all the Claire’s I could handle at a small employee discount, and she got to spend all day glaring at yuppies who wanted her to talk their teenagers out of listening to the latest bands: overall win-win for both of us.

My phone started ringing again. Allison shot me a ‘don’t answer it’ stare, though against my better judgment, I did anyway.

“Robin,” Margie’s voice answered this time, “Are you still out with Jen and Josh?” Crap! I forgot to let her know I was at Allison’s. I bit my lip.

“Oh, jeeze, Margie I’m sorry. I’ve been hanging out over at Allison’s with Nikki. I’ll be right over.”

She chuckled, “Just be home before dark, okay? Your mom and I need to discuss school arrangements.”

“Sure, no problem. Love you Sis,” I answered, turning off the phone. “Margie wants me home by dark so we can talk about school. I guess this means a school board meeting is in my future,” I sighed. “Why can’t things just be simple?”

Allison answered with a wry smile, “Because humans like to judge what they don’t understand. The transgender thing will be easy enough to hide, but the whole ‘dating a girl’ thing, not so much.”

Nicole and I glanced at each other, and I nodded. “Don’t get me wrong, Nikki and I are still dating, but we decided to try and keep it low key for awhile until the new girl crap wears off. You saw how kids freaked out at camp over me being from California.”

Allison giggled as she lined up the billiards for another round, “Good point. Hey maybe that can work to your advantage? Let everyone see how cool we all know you to be, then they can figure out you’re dating Nikki later, when it won’t matter.”

Nicole laughed, “See, now, that’s why I love Ally. She’s as devious as me, but her heart’s in the right place way more often than mine.”

“Yeah, I’d call a balloon full of shaving cream in my pillow case ‘devious’,” Allison replied, sticking her tongue out at Nicole and causing us both to giggle. I somehow had managed to stay out of their years-long prank war, and hoped to keep it that way. I had enough problems with staying out of trouble without causing more for myself.

After parting ways with Nicole and Allison, the former hitching a ride with Carol back home since Allison’s mother needed to run some last-minute errands anyway, I headed the short distance home across our front yards. Margie, dressed as casually as ever with her cute ringlet-laden fiery hair up in a tight ponytail, wrapped me in a hug as I entered the kitchen.

“There you are. Your mom’s not feeling well so she went upstairs to lie down,” she offered in a way that sounded like she was trying not to make me worry.

“Is everything alright?” I asked anyway. I mean, given what the poor woman went through at the beginning of the summer, I’d be callous not to ask. Margie nodded.

“She’s going to see a doctor tomorrow, but for what it’s worth, Kelly doesn’t think it’s related to the accident. It sounds like she just has a mild cold, but we’re not letting her take any chances.”

I crossed the room to the fridge, retrieving a can of red cream soda and sitting at the kitchen table. “So, what was it you wanted to talk about?”

“We have an appointment to meet with the school board next week. Joe’s taking time off to be there on your behalf, and of course Doctor Ketz.”

I rolled my shoulders a bit as I nodded, “I guess I don’t have to worry about anybody calling me ‘Robert’ there, do I?”

Margie laughed to herself. “No. You were already pretty before you started taking hormones,” she offered as she walked around to kiss the top of my head. I smiled as I hugged her briefly then let her pull away to sit.

“It’s just an informal meeting to discuss scheduling, making sure you and Allison have the same classes and seating arrangements close together, staff know to keep an eye on you, that sort of thing.”

With all the school violence these days, it was no wonder they were being careful. They wouldn’t have to worry about me having a freak-out and hurting people at least. I just wanted to get through the school year without being exposed. Maybe next summer I could finally get my surgery behind me too, but one step at a time. I didn’t remember the exact moment the ‘extra equipment’ became so undesirable. I just knew that more and more, it felt wrong, and needed to be corrected.

After we talked awhile more, I hugged Margie one more time then stood to head up to my room. Mom met me at the top of the stairs, but took a step back.

“Careful sweetheart,” she said as she covered her mouth with a tissue to cough, “Kelly thinks I have a mild cold, and I don’t want you to catch it.”

I smiled, stepping over and giving her a quick hug anyway. “How are you feeling? Do you want some soup or something?”

She smiled softly, “No thank you dear. I’m just feeling a little drained. How was practice?”

I related to her how my Kenpo lessons were progressing, and how Sensei Rogers agreed to take me on as his student. I gushed excitedly about how Josh would be allowed to take his test for his next belt now, of which all I knew was that he had a brown one with a couple of weird black stripes on the end, and finally how Sensei taught me a defensive throw I could safely use if someone did try to attack me. She praised my efforts then smiled as she turned to continue on toward the bathroom.

Meanwhile I stepped into my bedroom. No longer the sea of pink it once had been, my friends and I took some initiative over the summer to redecorate. A four post oak canopy bed with lacey light indigo curtains and red-with-white-polka dots bedspread now dominated the room.

We replaced my old dresser and desk with a composite material marble-patterned lilac-and-white matched set dresser and vanity, and tore up the old pink carpeting, replacing it with a deep, rich mauve that, against the near-white pastel indigo wallpaper, contrasted starkly, but also seemed to pull the room together nicely. Thanks to some very careful shopping around and the magic of eBay, we even finished a little under-budget!

Most importantly, I had begun acquiring a small collection of stuffed animals, mostly as gifts. My favorite by far was the plush purple gorilla Nicole won for me at the carnival last month. Mister Kensington slept with me at night and otherwise never left my bed.

I plopped down on my bed to relax, breaking out the old diary; I’d have to get a new one before long. Before becoming Robin I’d write in it every three or four days, but after that fateful day when I first met Allison, I found myself writing in it daily.

We arrived at Doctor Ketz’ office right at ten the next morning for my Saturday appointment. I’d need to be back in Alpine Springs by two for my shift, but we had plenty of time. Since Carol offered to drive Mom to the clinic, it was just Margie and me today.

I’d become so comfortable in my role as a girl by now that any remotely passing resemblance to Robert I may have had long disappeared in favor of the, if I do say so myself, rather attractive and finally-starting-to-develop young lady in the peach spaghetti-strap tank top and tight, faded jeans.

“Hello Robin,” Doctor Ketz’ chestnut-haired receptionist Katherine greeted me warmly as we entered. “Doctor Ketzowski is expecting you. Go on in, dear.”

I smiled, nodding as I practically dragged Margie by the hand. I wanted to talk to Doctor Ketz about the upcoming school board meeting! She sat at her desk, thumbing disinterestedly through some sort of medical magazine as I stepped into her office.

“Hi Barbara,” I offered warmly. She glanced up, immediately setting the periodical aside.

“Hello there, Robin,” she responded, standing and motioning to the sofa and chairs at the back of the room. Margie and I immediately took our usual place on the sofa as she followed. I couldn’t help reflecting, as she sat, on my first meeting.

Doctor Rosen didn’t work there anymore, ‘retiring’ without giving any specific reason. The weird thing is I felt kind of bad for the old codger, not because he probably had to quit because of me, but for his ardent refusal to admit he might have been wrong, not just about me, but about others too.

“Robin, are you alright?” she asked, ever the perceptive one. I smiled.

“Yeah, I’m great. Just thinking about how much has changed since we first met. I’m excited about the new school year, but a little scared.”

“It’s a daunting notion for any young person, starting a new year in a new school. Would you like to talk about it?”

I nodded, discussing openly, without even a second thought of hesitation, my hopes and anxieties about the coming year. I explained how I felt no concern about being read as a trans-girl anymore, so much as someone getting the bright idea to grope me where they shouldn’t, or things like changing for P.E.

She reasoned that to the former, in the unlikely event that something did happen, if I reacted quickly enough I could stop them from feeling anything they shouldn’t, and getting them in serious sexual harassment trouble too, and to the latter, that it could be set up discretely as an issue of having a ‘birth defect’ I didn’t want others to see. She reminded me that, when it came right down to it, my sexuality and sexual preference were absolutely no one else’s business but my own, and not to be afraid to politely tell people to drop the subject if pressed.

I also touched briefly on my finally starting a self-defense regimen, and being accepted as Sensei Rogers’ student. With my last day of work that day, I’d have to find another way to pay for lessons to avoid leaning too heavily on the life insurance money Dad left me though.

We finished early, but I had another appointment with my endocrinologist to check how my body was reacting to the new dosage. He stepped up the dosage a month ago to help with my ‘development’ so had been having me come by weekly to get myself tested.

I had begun to hate needles. I rubbed my sore arm lightly as we drove home, though Margie stopped off for burgers and a chocolate McFlurry to cheer me up before we arrived back in Alpine Springs.

It was already past one, according to my little white-banded wristwatch, so I asked Margie to drop me off at the mall. My last day at my dream job would be bittersweet for me. I’d have next weekend to hang out with the girls for an end of summer sleepover, but I’d lose my coveted employee discount.

As I passed the music store where Nicole manned the register, I had to giggle. I blew her a kiss through the open door, causing her to perk right up, blowing me a kiss back, and causing the twenty-something man she had been discussing a purchase with to turn and give me an odd stare. I grinned and kept walking, entering Claire’s a moment later.

“Hi Robin! You’re early!” Lindsey, my auburn-haired supervisor cheerily announced as I walked in; I gave her a girly finger-bend wave.

“Hi Linn,” I offered, “The doc squeezed me in early for the blood work, so we got back earlier than I expected.”

“Good thing, too. Laura’s down with an infection so it’s just me until Barb comes in. If you’ll take the register I’ll start restocking. These ‘End of Summer’ sales are a nightmare on my feet!” She laughed, disappearing into another part of the store as I stepped around the counter to take my place.

Bangles, dangles, belts, and bracelets, I must have rung up a hundred sales in my shift, to say nothing of trying my best to offer fashion advice for girls of every age. Barbara, the other girl my age who had the next shift, came strolling in fifteen minutes late. Lindsey looked like she wanted to yell at her for making me stay longer, but I quickly headed her off.

“Hey Barb, how’s your weekend?”

“Awful,” she whined. “Some stupid semi flipped its load and blocked the whole road. We had to take a detour through the side streets just to get here!”

I shot Lindsey a ‘See?’ glance. “Well, the register’s all yours. Laura called in sick so it’s just been me and Linn. I’m going to see if Nikki’s still hanging around or if I have to call my sister for a ride.”

“Robin, before you go?” Lindsey called after me then rushed over to hand me an envelope. She smiled as I glanced down at it, then back at her. “Open it when you get home.”

“Oki doki,” I offered, tucking the envelope into my purse. “See you around Linn, Barb. It’s been a great summer working here!”

I found Nicole waiting outside the music store. We embraced and, despite the promise to keep things low key, shared a brief kiss before turning to walk over to the food court together. Of course, it was more like a glorified hot dog stand compared to the bigger malls in New Haven or San Francisco, but the food was digestible so we couldn’t complain.

“So how was your last day?” Nicole asked as she squeezed my hand under our table.

“Busy. One of the other girls is sick so it was just Linn and me all afternoon. God my feet hurt. Hey, is your mom coming to pick you up?”

“Yeah, she should be here any second now. I told her I’d wait at the food court in case you wanted to catch a ride with us.” She thought of everything. I squeezed her hand back, though I jumped slightly as my phone rang.

“Robin’s phone: Robin speaking.”

Silence.

I sighed, hanging it up. “Okay, that’s creepy.” Nicole glanced over, having just shoveled half a chili-and-cheese smothered hot dog in her mouth. She was in no shape to ask, so I continued, “Someone’s been calling me the same time every night for the last two nights now. Only a few people have my number though.”

“Probably just some bored idiot pranking you,” she shrugged. “You should get a phone with caller ID on it. That funky old dinosaur looks like it’s about to fall apart anyway,” she added.

“I’d love to get an iPhone, but money’s a little tight right now, and I promised Mom and Margie I wouldn’t dip into the college fund frivolously. And no, before you say it, I’m not letting you buy me one,” I teased.

“What’s the fun of having rich step-parents if I can’t spoil my friends?” Nicole shot back with a grin.

“Oh don’t give me that look. You’ve never spoiled Jen and Ally, and you know it. Don’t get me wrong though; it’s not that I’m too proud to accept a gift or anything, but…” I trailed off.

She frowned. “But what?”

“Mom and Margie are both worried that we’re taking things too fast. We’re only fifteen, you know?”

“What are you saying, that you don’t want to go out with me anymore?” she asked nervously. I quickly shook my head.

“No, of course not!”

She laughed, “Oh thank God.” With that she happily returned to her hot dog.

“No, Nikki, I care about you so much, and I love spending time with you. It’s just they worry that we’re trying to be more ‘grown up’ than either of us are ready for.”

She shot me a surprised glance at that, but smiled. “Yeah, I got that same speech from my mom the day after she walked in on us on the sofa.” I had to think a moment to remember which incident she was referring to, as we spent a lot of time together on sofas. Suddenly I remembered, my cheeks burning just a little.

Nicole was having a truly terrible day that day, and as we sat talking on the sofa in her den, one soft kiss led to another, and before either of us knew it, we were rather deeply involved in inspecting one another’s dental work, so to speak. Her mother chose exactly that moment to walk in on us.

Nicole giggled. “Yeah, that’s part of why I agreed to this whole ‘low key’ thing. I love you to death and love being with you, but things did kind of take off a little faster than either of us intended after camp.”

We met up with Nicole’s mother outside the food court, and after some brief pleasantries about our respective days, and my sharing the news about the upcoming school board meeting, we started walking toward the exit. I pulled the envelope Lindsey had given me from my purse, turning it over in my hands as I contemplated whether or not to open it yet.

“What’s that?” Nicole asked as she took notice of it.

“Not sure. Linn gave it to me, but she told me not to open it until I got home.”

Nicole grinned impishly as she snatched it. “Don’t worry, I won’t open it,” she added, holding it up to the light. “Hmm. It’s too thick to read. Maybe like a check with a folded note. Bonus, maybe?” She beamed, handing it back to me.

“You’re so bad.” I giggled. I had to hug her as we stepped outside.

The sun already hung low in the sky, but the August heat still felt heavy. I’d have thought, being from the Bay, that I’d be used to heat, though truth be told I spent most of my summers indoors back then, where now if I wasn’t at work, chances were I’d be hanging out with Allison or one of my other friends outdoors jogging, hiking, or just hanging out.

As we pulled into the driveway, I thanked Gina for giving me a ride, and stepped out. Nicole rolled the passenger window down so I could lean back inside and give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Sleep well, cutie,” she offered playfully.

“Sweet dreams, vampire.” I grinned, turning to head inside.

~* School Daze *~ “Robin, you’re our new girl from … Where was it again?” Crap. Did she notice me staring or something? I hesitantly sat up, clearing my throat. “San Francisco,” I responded as we made eye contact. I offered a disarming smile, uncertain what else to do as I’d never really had an athletics director take any interest in me, whatsoever. “Right. Ever shoot hoops?” “No ma’am. I was never all that into sports before.” She chuckled, “Well come on up here, princess. There’s a first time for everything!”

---

The next two weeks practically flew, far too quickly for my tastes. Whoever kept calling my cell phone apparently got bored of the game and gave up after about a week — for now at least, and the meeting with the school board went pretty well, all things considered. The school board members still remembered Joe. Years ago, when Kelly transitioned, it was a practically unheard of concept for Connecticut. The ACLU got involved, and eventually, after several hush-hush meetings, they allowed her to re-enroll at another school in the district, keeping her records sealed until she turned eighteen for her own protection.

At first I thought that the whole debacle would work against me. Fortunately Kelly’s transformation from constantly fighting, sub-par GPA student to very nearly making Salutatorian her senior year worked in my favor immensely. The only thing that stopped her was that they had to count her GPA and records as ‘Kevin’ pre-transitioning.

From the start of the summer, every time we had something major important in our lives come up we celebrated with a slumber party, and tonight would be no different. Well, actually, tonight would be different, as it would be more than just the four of us!

“Natalie!” I practically squealed as she stepped off the Jones’ basement steps. We rushed to each other, meeting halfway in a sisterly embrace. “I’m so glad you could make it!”

She grinned, waving at Nicole and Jennifer as they rose from the sofa to come and greet her as well. “Are you kidding? I’ve been thinking about this party all week. Is Rachel coming too?”

Jennifer nodded as she hugged her next, “She’s upstairs helping Ally pull the extra sleeping bags out of storage.”

“Did you bring the thingie?” Nicole added.

Natalie laughed, reaching into her duffle bag and producing a slender white tube-like device. It had a small hole at the top, and a motion sensor on the side.

“Just put fresh batteries in it and replaced the scent cartridge. Crystal loved this thing, and I didn’t have the heart to let it get shoved away in storage somewhere.”

“Put it by the stairs just below the wall where Ally and Rach won’t see it!” Nicole giggled impishly, causing Natalie to giggle too. She turned back and carefully set the motion-sensing air freshener gadget just inside the stair where it wouldn’t be easily spotted then turned back to us.
“So how was your summer?” she asked as she set down her bag.

“Awesome!” I responded happily. “I told you about Mom’s recovery in my e-mail, but I don’t remember if I mentioned the part-time job?” I offered, leading Natalie over to the bar. I stepped around behind it, opening the mini-fridge for her to inspect the available stock.

“Ooh. Can I have an iced tea? And yes, you mentioned it, but you forgot to tell me what the note said.”

“Note?” I asked, as I passed her a canned iced tea. “Oh! The one Linn gave me? It was nothing really.” I blushed, causing her to giggle.

“Oh come on, now you have to tell me!” she replied, popping the top on her tea and slurping a long sip.

Jennifer took that as her cue and chimed in, “She received a nice bonus for working so hard!”

Much to my relief for the change of subject, Rachel and Allison came bounding down the stairs with two sleeping bags each, setting a spray of Lilac fragrance shooting upwards.

“Eek!” Rachel squeaked, surprised, and came to an abrupt halt, causing Allison to stop, peeking around the wall down at us.

“NATALIE! Hey!”

Natalie pointed at Nicole, “She made me do it!”

Allison giggled, “Yeah, I figured. Don’t worry; I won’t shoot the messenger this time.” She and Rachel dropped their sleeping bags and came over to hug the newcomer.

“It’s so great you could make it Nat. It just wouldn’t be an end of summer party without EVERY member of Cabin Thirteen here,” Rachel offered cheerfully.

Natalie giggled, “After the way you guys helped me get myself straightened out I wouldn’t miss this for anything. So what’s on the agenda?”

It seemed like every time we had a slumber party, we made a conscious effort to top the last one, first with just Nicole, Allison and me, then adding Jennifer for an epic game of truth or dare, and most recently at camp, celebrating a very successful first annual Luau and honoring of a fallen scout in Crystal Grace. Tonight would be no exception.

We did each other’s hair and nails, let our facials do their work while watching a scary movie and screaming like banshees, pigged out on ice cream and potato chips, had a pillow fight to end all pillow fights, and as was the tradition for a sleepover at Allison’s, her mom made her amazing tacos for us. It didn’t start out as a tradition, but then these things rarely do. It just sort of grew out of our love of Allison’s mom’s cooking.

Sunday morning, before we went our separate ways again, Allison led us all on a nature hike back to the river where she invited us to join the Girl Scouts. Nicole and I had, by now, officially joined the Scouts, with all the rights and expectations therein, with any thoughts of someone discovering my past long forgotten, replaced with some twinge of concern of how people would react once it got out that Nicole and I were more than just friends. We’d burn that bridge when we came to it though.

“Robin, sweetheart, you’re going to be late for school,” Mom’s voice gently roused me from my sleep. I stared blearily at her for just a moment before sitting up and wrapping her in a hug. For a split second, I thought my nightmares had returned, but an indescribable, loving warmth replaced that fear as she smiled softly and kissed my forehead.

“I can’t begin to tell you how proud I am of how far you’ve come. These last couple of months I feel like we’re closer than ever. Now, get dressed so you can do something with that mop of hair!” she teased, squeezing my hand as she stood to step out again. She seemed to be feeling a lot better. Her cold had run its course without infecting the rest of us too, and her headaches were becoming more manageable by the day. She had even started talking about looking into a job at the clinic where Kelly now worked.

I stood and walked to my closet, stripping along the way. I’d already planned to wear my black-with-white-polka dots peasant top (the one with the cute ribbons a quarter of the way down the sleeves) and dark jeans, but I needed to decide what else I wanted to pair it with. Ultimately I chose a wide black belt with a shiny black buckle to offset and add a touch of sophistication to the look along with my black sneakers for a shred more casual, and sat down to do my makeup.

I had been so occupied with the task that I didn’t hear Allison being invited in downstairs. At least I didn’t jump when her reflection suddenly appeared in my vanity mirror, dressed in a cute three-quarters sleeved pink v-neck top, and faded jeans. She smiled as she bent down to hug me; I turned and put my arms around her in return.

“God, I’m so nervous,” I said softly, turning back to start working on my hair.

She grinned proudly. “You’ll be fine. You look amazing, and that nail polish really brings out your eyes!” she responded. At the slumber party she had painted my nails in a rich, dark pink that I had worried would clash with my outfit today, but it actually worked pretty well.

Allison stayed around for a quick breakfast with Mom and me, after which we walked back to her house to get a ride to school from Carol. I’d visited the school superintendant’s office briefly, and met with the school board, but seeing the school with so many students coming and going felt altogether unnerving!

The building was smaller than my old school, serving only about seven hundred students among four grade levels, but it still looked imposing. The small, broad front steps sloped upward to high-polished glass and steel doors, with the school’s mascot, a roaring tiger, done in tile just inside the lobby in the school’s team colors of purple and gold.

I couldn’t help noticing both boys and girls staring at me as we ascended the stairs. I glanced at Allison, who gave me a reassuring smile. “You’re the new girl, remember? Plus, let’s face it, you’re kind of hot,” she added with a wink, causing me to blush.

“Isn’t that Nikki’s line?”

“Yes it is,” Nicole chirped playfully as she approached us from behind, putting her arms around the both of us. True to her word, ever since I commented on missing seeing her in black, she’d made a triumphant return to her Gothic hotness. She even dyed her bangs fuscia again, which looked stunning coupled with her knee-length black skirt and sleeveless top, to say nothing of the cute black-and-white striped stockings.

“Jen said she’d be a little late because she has to drop off a release form at the gym or something. I wasn’t really listening.”

Much to my relief, several of our classes had been scheduled together, including our home room, just as the school board promised. I couldn’t help feeling a little overdressed as we walked to our first class though. Back in California I remembered very well that girls tried to look their best on the first day. It was like some silent competition to see who could be the prettiest without looking like they were trying. I always secretly envied them, wishing I could wear what I WANTED to wear instead of frumpy oversized boys’ clothes.

Around here though, everyone seemed more casual. Even Nicole in all her macabre glory didn’t stand out this much. At least I didn’t wear a dress, but I still got plenty of stares, as rumors of the ‘Cali girl’ spread like wildfire. Sigh.

Before third period English began, I had just been introducing myself to a couple of girls who seemed genuinely surprised I wanted to talk to them, when a boy with medium length, slicked-back black hair started bobbing around as he strolled up to me; I thought he might be having a seizure at first glance. He put a piece of paper with his phone number in front of me and smiled. I picked it up, spit my gum out in it, and gave it back to him.

“Thanks, but I’m not ‘available’.” Without giving him a second glance, I turned back to the girls I was chatting with, causing them both to start giggling along with Allison. The boy scowled as he slunk away.

“Oh Em Gee that was Bobby Nelson,” one of them gushed, giggling.

I shrugged, “I’m not into boys who think they have to act like an idiot to impress a girl.” Of course, I wasn’t into boys, period. Josh seemed like a nice guy, but I still liked girls. Okay, I liked Nicole. I didn’t really have any interest in anyone else, boy or girl. “Plus, like I told him, I’m seeing someone. If you want him, he’s ALL yours.” I smiled cheerily. “So anyway…”

The highlight of my day, ironically enough, came with P.E. just before lunch. I’ve said before that Robert never cared about sports. As Robin I didn’t think I would either, but I couldn’t help being drawn in as Coach Wilson, a tall, athletic woman with pretty, frizzy brown hair lectured us about what to expect from the semester. Volleyball sounded fun, but I couldn’t help being more and more interested in her talk about basketball.

“Robin, you’re our new girl from … Where was it again?” Crap. Did she notice me staring or something? I hesitantly sat up, clearing my throat.

“San Francisco,” I responded as we made eye contact. I offered a disarming smile, uncertain what else to do as I’d never really had an athletics director take any interest in me, whatsoever.

“Right. Ever shoot hoops?”

“No ma’am. I was never all that into sports before.”

She chuckled, “Well come on up here, princess. There’s a first time for everything!” I blushed as she approached, offering her hand. I glanced nervously at Allison and Nicole, who nudged me to take her hand, so I accepted it, letting her pull me up. I suddenly felt thankful I wore black sneakers instead of something with a heel today as she picked up a basketball and led me to the free-throw line.

I listened as she instructed me on how to hold the ball, how to aim, and finally how to throw. “Don’t be nervous. Nobody ever gets a free-throw on the first try. I just want to see how you do.”

I nodded and dribbled the ball a couple of times to give myself time to mentally replay the crash course lesson and get a feel for its weight, then bent my knees and shot.

‘Bong, clunk, clunk, swish!’ No. Way. My jaw fell open as the ball hit the floor. I slowly turned to see Coach Wilson giving me a similar expression. “Um… Beginner’s luck?” I offered wryly. She shook her head, chuckled to herself, and pointed to the stands for me to take my seat again. I suddenly felt every pair of eyes in our class on me as I returned to my seat.

“Nice shot,” Allison whispered. “Why didn’t you tell me you could play basketball?”

“I can’t!” I stage whispered, a little louder than I intended. “I’ve never played sports a day in my life.” Still, it did feel really good.

As we left the gym, a tall, willowy blonde approached me from behind, putting her hand on my shoulder as she caught up to me. “Robin, right?” she asked in a friendly tone. I nodded. “I’m Chelsea. I was the captain of the junior Lady Tigers basketball team last year, and I’m hoping for the position again this year too. Anyway I just wanted to say I saw that free-throw shot earlier. It was a little rough, but if that was seriously your first time shooting a basketball, you should consider joining. We could work with you on fundamentals and have you ready to play in no time.”

Was she serious? I smiled for a moment, about to say yes, and then I remembered my promise. Crap! Being ‘transgendered’, I had been informed by the school board that I couldn’t participate in girls’ sports. My face fell. “I’m sorry Chelsea. I… I’d really love to take you up on that, but I can’t.”

“Aw, why not? I mean sure you’re a little short, but not every great basketball player is a bean pole like me,” she offered reassuringly, but I shook my head.

“I’m sorry. I just can’t. I promised not to tell anyone why, so you’ll just have to trust me. I’m really sorry.” My eyes started to sting, but why? I quickly ran off to the bathroom to gather myself. I thought I hated sports, so why was I getting so worked up over knowing I wouldn’t be able to compete?

Allison came into the girls’ room a few seconds later. “Robin what’s wrong?” She wrapped me in a hug. I gave her a quiet stare, dabbing at my eyes before answering.

“I don’t know. It’s not like I even like sports, but…”

Allison frowned, but nodded. “We can talk about it after school if you want. Totally sucks that you can’t compete. I mean, I heard Coach mumbling about thinking you were trying to hustle her.” She giggled quietly, and I had to laugh now too, cracking a small smile. Allison smiled back. “C’mon, you’ll feel better after we eat.”

I did feel better after I got some food in my stomach, and poor Chelsea, to her credit, came over to eat lunch with us. I shot her a smile as she sat, already halfway through my burger.

“Chelsea, I’m sorry about running off earlier like that. It’s just… First day jitters, being new, and-” But before I could finish, she shook her head quickly, reaching across the table to give my forearm a reassuring squeeze.

“No, it’s okay. I didn’t mean to pressure you. I just thought it would be fun to have some new blood on the team. I’m sure you’ve got a good reason.”

She lowered her voice, glancing around to be sure no one was eavesdropping before she continued, “Coach Wilson told me you had an undisclosed medical condition keeping you from changing with the rest of us for P.E., but don’t worry. She didn’t say what it was; just that I was to report anybody giving you grief because of it directly to her.” She smiled, her words giving both Allison and Nicole cause to smile as well.

“Thanks Chelsea,” Nicole offered. “Robin’s like, my best friend. If anyone gave her shit because of her condition and I found out about it before you I’d probably do something they’d regret.” She gave the girl a positively goth-like grin, though the enhancing, dark makeup and clothes certainly helped.

Chelsea laughed nervously, “I don’t doubt that. Hey, that reminds me, are you still dating that chump Jason?”

Nicole shook her head vehemently, “Hell no. I broke up with that loser at the start of the summer.”

“Creep dumped her voicemail,” I added ominously, eliciting an elbowing from Nicole as she chuckled.

“Yeah, but don’t worry, I’m so over him. I found someone from out of state that lights my fire.” She paused, blushing just a touch and quickly changing the subject. “Why?”

“Oh, the idiot tried to hit on me this morning. I shot him down of course. I don’t need a drug addict boyfriend.” She shrugged. “Plus I’m kind of hoping Tom will finally take the freaking hints I’ve been dropping since April. Anyway, I’ve got a few more social circles to stop in on. It’s Hell being popular,” she sighed dramatically, shooting us a playful smile as she stood to leave.

“What was that about?”

Jennifer chuckled, “Chelsea is the all-American super-babe. She plays basketball, she does cheerleading, volleyball, debate, edits for the school yearbook, and she’ll probably be Valedictorian our senior year, but she, Ally and me used to be close in grade school, so we still maintain polite ties, and she’s not a bad person. She’s just…”

“Too perfect,” Nicole injected with a sarcastic smile. Jennifer nodded quietly.

“I don’t know how anyone can balance that much,” I spoke up. “I mean, I just want to survive the school year, and maybe play some basketball just for fun. Anyway, can you show me where to dump my tray? The cafeteria’s set up all weird from what I’m used to.”

“Oh look, it’s the Valley girl. ‘Like, Omigawsh!’” came a snide female voice from behind as I walked toward the exit with Allison later that day. I glanced over my shoulder to see a fairly attractive blonde-haired girl scowling at us. I rolled my eyes at her and kept walking, though I thought I saw the beginnings of a sneer as I did.

“Ignore her,” Allison offered with a smirk. “She’s just jealous that someone else might be able to steal the coveted sophomore Maid crown.”

“Sophomore what?”

“You did have Homecoming in California didn’t you?”

“Well, yeah, but… Oh my God, she thinks I’m competition for THAT? No way. I could never- I mean I-” I sputtered, sending Allison into a giggle fit.

“Yes, you could! You’re poised, confident, beautiful, and just a little exotic. I mean look at how you dressed today,” she nodded toward my peasant top with a wide grin.

“Yeah, I know. Back home all the girls dressed up for the first day of school. You could’ve warned me!”

“Yes, but that would’ve spoiled the fun!” she responded cheerily. As we descended the stairs, Nicole and Jennifer broke off from chatting with another group of girls to join us. I wrapped Nicole in what I thought was a friendly hug, despite the awkward stares from her similarly clothed friends she’d just been chatting with.

“So are we going to hang out at Ally’s tonight?”

“I can’t,” whined Jennifer, “I have gymnastics and then Josh asked me to come watch him test for his next belt. He’s coming up on his final degree Brown belt thanks to Robin.” She beamed, shooting me a glance.

“Oh crap, I forgot about that,” Nicole pouted. “Well, I guess the three of us can hang out for awhile though.”

We walked out to the parking lot where Kelly stood leaning against her car, still dressed in her nursing uniform. It bore a strong resemblance to her hospital scrubs, though there were some subtle differences, like the cut and color, that I chalked up to the differences in a hospital, clinic, and two very distant states. She waved us over with a cheerful smile, so I turned to hug Jennifer then ran over to meet her.

“Hey girls.”

“Hi Kelly,” Allison and I responded in unison as we greeted her with a hug. “Is everything okay?” I asked a moment later.

“Yeah, Daddy had to take Mom’s car to the shop AGAIN, so she called and asked me to pick you up. Robin, Nikki, do you want a ride home too?”

Nicole nodded, “We were just talking about hanging out at your place, actually.” She glanced at Allison, grinning impishly, but Allison was just a touch quicker.

“Shotgun!” she squealed playfully as she dove in the front. Kelly rolled her eyes as Nicole and I piled into the back. Of course, this meant we’d have time to finally hold hands without someone noticing. I wondered if that wasn’t what she’d had in mind all along.

Allison waited until we sat at the traffic light several blocks from the school before speaking up. “Kelly, Robin’s got a problem she could use your advice on.”

Kelly glanced up at the rear view mirror, eyeing me. “Robin? What’s wrong?”

I rolled my shoulders. “I-it’s nothing, really. It’s just this girl, Chelsea, came up and asked me if I’d be interested in joining the girls’ basketball team.”

Nicole giggled, “You should’ve seen Coach Wilson! Her jaw like, nearly fell right off her face when Robin shot a free-throw off the backboard. She totally thought Robin was hustling her when she claimed she’d never played before.”

Kelly stifled a giggle, “Coach Wilson… I remember that old battleaxe. So anyway, what’s the problem? You don’t like basketball?”

“No, it’s not that. Actually that’s PART of it, but the problem is with my ‘condition’.”

Recognition surged instantly over Kelly’s face. She frowned. “Oh, Robin, I’m so sorry. You’re just such a natural girl I completely forget sometimes. If I remember right, the school board’s ruling on transgender students participating is pretty vague. They never had one when I was in school, and it never came up because I didn’t want to play sports. The one they adopted was based on another district’s, so it hasn’t been challenged yet.”

“The thing is, I don’t know that I want to challenge it. I’m happy with people accepting me as a girl. If word got out…” I trailed off, shifting my gaze. Nicole scooted over and wrapped me in a reassuring hug; I rested my head on her shoulder as I let her hold me as best our seat belts would allow.

“I see your point. Let me talk to Daddy and see what he thinks, okay? You don’t have to decide anything immediately anyway. So how was the rest of you girls’ day?” She changed the subject, probably sensing that further discussion would only serve to upset me.

I perked up a little as we started talking about classes, new teachers, and the general goings-on of the day. Allison started laughing as we pulled into the Jones’ driveway.

“Oh, and Robin totally shot down this loser who tried to score her as a trophy girlfriend.” She stepped out of the car, doing what I’d have to call a fair imitation of his man-strut. “He walks up to her like this and just gives her his number with this stupid smirk on his face. She grabs it, spits her gum out in it, and shoves it back at him. He was so pissed he didn’t know what to say. It was epic!”

By now, both Nicole and Kelly were giggling at the recounting of my humiliating that poor boy. I actually felt guilty about it now, but I had to put my foot down and stop any ideas anybody might get about me being available before they started.

“I’m going to go say ‘Hi’ to Mom and Margie then I’ll be right over.”

Allison nodded, turning to head inside, while Nicole followed me. We had no sooner gotten in the door when she pushed the door closed. We looked at each other for a moment before silently embracing each other. Instantly, all the stress of my first day of school seemed to melt away as I closed my eyes.

“I don’t know what I’d do without friends like you and Ally,” Nicole offered softly after a moment. She giggled, kissing me. “I’m so proud to have you for a girlfriend right now too.”

Mom cleared her throat, causing both of us to jump. I turned to see her standing at the bottom step, arms folded. An amused smile tugged at the corners of her lips.

“Sorry Mom,” I offered as we both closed the distance to hug her.

“Yeah, Um... Sorry Linda,” Nicole echoed, “It’s just I’m so proud of Robin. I didn’t think she had it in her!” She giggled, relating the story she’d just been told then added, “Oh, and the captain of the basketball team wants Robin to play for the Lady Tigers too.”

Mom gave me a skeptical stare, and I held my hands up helplessly. “It’s not my fault, I swear!” She motioned us into the kitchen where Margie had started preparing a light dinner. There, Nicole and I took turns relating how I got into this whole sports debacle.

“Sweetheart, I thought you said you hated sports?” asked Mom, finally breaking the uncomfortable silence.

“I don’t. I mean, I didn’t. I mean… I don’t know! I think I felt worse for having to concoct some elaborate lie about why I couldn’t even consider joining the team. If I did make waves and challenge the school board’s ruling, what if word got out to the press or something? I just want to get through high school without making any more trouble for myself,” I whined.

Nicole lay her head on my shoulder, “Babe, you’re dating the hottest goth in school. Trouble’s going to find you one way or another.” She beamed, despite the unified uneasy glance from Mom and Margie. They were fine with our relationship when it was just ‘dating but still friends’, but more and more everyone seemed to think we took it too seriously. In truth, we kind of agreed with them though.

I breathed a slow sigh, “Anyway, Ally’s waiting for us. Um, I mean, if it’s okay for me to go hang out awhile?”

“Did you get any homework?”

I shook my head, “Just a reading assignment for AP English. You know how much I love reading,” I offered, hopeful.

She smiled softly, “I know how much Robert spent time reading, sweetheart. I’ve only known my daughter Robin for a couple of months, and I’m still learning about her. Like the fact that she might be interested in playing basketball.” She winked, but smiled approvingly as she came over to wrap me in a hug, kissing my forehead. “Yes, you can go over to Allison’s. Just behave yourselves,” she glanced at Nicole, flashing a brief smile that I’d almost have sworn was playful if I didn’t know better.

Nicole giggled and wrapped her in a hug, “Yes ma’am.”

We both turned and ran back out of the room, and over to Allison’s. Kelly had just stepped back out, but she didn’t stop us, instead simply waving as she passed us on the way back out to her car.

Allison had just settled into the sofa and turned on a movie when we crept down the stairs. Nicole did that ‘shush’ motion with her finger again, motioning me to the left while she shifted to the right.

“Don’t. Even. THINK about it,” came Allison’s response, causing us both to break into a giggle.

“Swear to Gawd, Ally, you could hear a fly fart on Jupiter,” Nicole laughed as she grabbed my hand, dragging me over to the sofa. She plopped down next to Allison, pulling me squarely into her lap with a surprised squeal on my part. I shifted my weight to try and sit next to her, but she wrapped her arms around my midsection with the physical threat of tickling imminent if I didn’t stay.

Allison rolled her eyes, “Oh get a room,” she chided playfully as she shouldered Nicole, giggling.

“Why can’t we use yours?” Nicole teased back.

Eventually she let me go, and I slid down onto the sofa next to her. I couldn’t stop thinking about what Chelsea said earlier though. I couldn’t stop thinking about why this seemed suddenly so important to me, either. Did I have a right to play girls’ basketball against other girls? I certainly felt I did, and it’s not like I had an advantage either. Late onset puberty saw to that, mercifully.

Allison and Nicole noticed my silence, the former peeking around to look at me, “Robin… If it means that much to you, we’ll find a way to help you.”

“We got you into the Girl Scouts for God’s sakes,” Nicole added with a broad grin. “That’s got to count for SOMETHING right?”

“I guess so, but… I’m still scared of what people will say if they find out-”

“People love a human interest story. You’re human, and you’re interesting,” Nicole immediately shot back.

“Robin, the entire school thinks, no, KNOWS you’re a girl. If anyone gives you crap, you’ve got the four of us plus Josh and Chelsea to watch your back.”

“I realize that,” I began, but sighed. “I just don’t know if it’s worth all the effort. Anyway, I really don’t want to think about it anymore right now. Anybody else up for a game of pool?”

Nicole’s eyes lit up, “I’ll rack ‘em up.”

~* But I'm (NOT!) A Cheerleader! *~ Jennifer laughed as she waved at the petite auburn-haired woman in gym shorts and a white t-shirt bearing a pink silhouette of a dancer, with the scrawl “School Spirit!” prominently printed in the same coloring. Apparently she had been sitting with the girls just watching us this whole time. “Alright, Jennifer and…” she began, nodding toward me for my name. “Robin,” Jennifer answered for me, grinning. “Robin! Take your seats and we’ll get started.” “Um… Get started?” I asked, confused. She gave me a blank stare. “For cheer tryouts?” “Oh, I’m not here for cheerleading.” I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. “I just came with Jen to blow off some steam. I’ll just go change now.” “Hang on a second!” the woman called after me, causing me to pause and slowly turn back.

---

“Smith, get in there!” Coach Wilson shouted. I nervously ran onto the court, the crowd cheering ‘Robin! Robin! Robin!’ as I took my place near Chelsea, waiting for the tip-off. The girl from the other team knocked the ball to one of her teammates and the game was on. After a lucky three-pointer, we recovered the ball and I suddenly found myself with possession. I ran down the court like a girl possessed, the crowd going wild as I shot from just beyond the free-throw line.

“Robin! Robin!” Mom’s voice roused me from my slumber. I blinked several times. “Robin! Your alarm went off ten minutes ago, sweetheart.”

I sat up, groaned, and immediately fell back against my pillow with a long, drawn-out sigh, the vibration causing Mister Kensington, who had been precariously perched on the edge of my bed, to tumble onto the floor. Another dream; what WAS it with me and basketball all of a sudden? This was the fourth time this week I’d had that dream, and it was only Friday!

I reluctantly crawled out of bed and, after picking up my stuffed companion and returning him to his prized spot on my bed, I set about getting ready for school. I decided to keep it simple today and just wear my favorite blue top with the lace embroidery, and paired it with a knee-length white spaghetti-strap jumper. I plodded down the stairs, the sounds of fried food sizzling in the pan mingling with the scent of a fresh, fried egg assaulting my senses.

“God that smells heavenly,” I spoke a bit more cheerfully, for a moment forgetting the impending school board drama as I entered the kitchen. Nothing had been officially decided yet, but Mom, Margie, Joe, Carol, and Margie’s attorney had been in ‘discussion’ earlier in the week about how to approach challenging the school board’s ruling.

Mom smiled and put her arm around me, kissing my forehead, “Rough night?”

I nodded. “I just want to be a normal girl. Why is that so wrong?”

She held me close as she kissed my forehead again. “Sweetheart, nobody’s ‘normal’ — take it from an ex-emergency room nurse. There are far, FAR worse things than being my beautiful daughter. It still boggles my mind how a human being can mindlessly shoot another human being over a pair of shoes, for example. I’m so glad you wanted to move some place safe like this.” The irony of those words would hit me later that day, but for now, I had breakfast to eat!

I thought about what she said as we sat down to eat breakfast. She had a valid point, but it didn’t make things any easier on me. I had already been accepted, even welcomed as Robin by my classmates, friends, and even hit on by more than one boy this week. Would they all feel the same if the school board opened up its record about why they were holding their hearing Monday? All it would take is one jealous student like that vapid girl last Monday for my entire reputation, my entire life to be ruined!

I washed down my breakfast with a glass of milk and resolved not to worry about it for now. I could talk with Doctor Ketz about my feelings in therapy the next day, so for now, I raced out the door to meet Allison.

“Morning Sleeping Beauty,” she teased as she climbed into the front seat of Carol’s SUV. “I was beginning to wonder if I’d need to come check on you. Everything okay?”

“Yeah. I’m just having trouble waking up lately.” I smiled sleepily. “I’ll talk to Barbara about it tomorrow though.”

“You know, I was chatting with Chelsea yesterday while you were getting changed for P.E., and she asked if I’d talk to you about reconsidering her offer. She also wanted me to try and goad you into cheerleading.” Allison giggled, seeing me turn a shade paler at the thought. “For what it’s worth you’d make a cute cheerleader, but most girls have a gymnastics background like Jen.”

“That’s what I was about to say,” I laughed, relieved. “I mean, just like with basketball I’m not AGAINST the idea; I just know I couldn’t keep up with cheerleading, school, Kenpo, AND sports, if I were even allowed to participate. There’s a meeting Monday to discuss it. I hope I’m making the right decision.”

“You are, Robin, if this is what you want,” Carol interrupted as she fished out the keys from her purse. I nodded slowly as I pulled my seatbelt across and settled in for the ride.

After meeting up with the other girls in front of the school, we walked up the stairs together, stepping inside. I suddenly felt as though someone were standing behind me, and spun around to find myself face to face with the boy who held the elevator for me when I was in the hospital at the start of the summer. He gave a ‘Mister cool’ half-smile, but before I could say anything, Nicole practically shouted.

“Jason! What the HELL do you want now?”

He sneered at her, “Did I say I wanted to talk to you? Piss off. I wanted to talk to your friend here.”

I wanted to punch him. “YOU’RE Jason? I have nothing to say to you.” I turned to walk away, but he grabbed my arm. Suddenly, I found myself standing a few feet away with a security guard trying to get my attention. Jason was lying on the floor, staring stunned at the two of us. Silence permeated the entire hall as I found myself being walked to the office while someone else, I presumed another security person, dealt with Jason.

I meekly stared up at the tall, broad-shouldered, middle-aged man. “I’m sorry. I just… reacted. He grabbed me and, I don’t know…” I wanted to cry, but he offered me a smile.

“Ms. Smith here was just accosted by another student.” He spoke in a surprisingly gentle tone for his size and mass, to the school secretary. She gave me a soft frown

“Are you alright?” she asked. I shook my head.

“It all happened so fast. I mean, one second he was grabbing me, the next, he was on the ground and I was being escorted away.”

“Jason totally started it,” Nicole chimed in from behind us. I hadn’t even realized they’d followed us. She proceeded to explain the events leading to the incident as she wrapped me in a comforting and entirely friendly/platonic hug from the side.

The secretary nodded as she listened. I just stood there. For me, I had absolutely no memory of the ten seconds it took for all this to occur. I had been busy reliving the Raggedy Man incident earlier this summer, fighting tears the whole time. I thought I had gotten over it. I hadn’t.

When Nicole finished, the security officer asked us a few more questions and sent us off to class. I thought about calling Margie to come get me, but I knew if I left now, I’d never live this down, so I took a few minutes to compose myself, then went to my first class.

By the time AP English rolled around, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE had heard what I did to Jason. Coach Wilson flagged me down as I neared my next class. “Robin, I need you to come with me,” she stated gently.

I nodded, and followed her down to the school office. She led me into the Principal’s office, where a portly, balding middle-aged man in a white dress shirt with a hideously tacky yellow tie awaited. He watched me sit then leaned forward, Coach Wilson standing off to one side with her arms folded.

“Robin Smith… I’ve been hearing reports from several teachers that their students have been gossiping about you beating up another student. I’ve looked at the incident report, but would you mind telling me in your own words what happened?”

My eyes widened. “What? Hold on a minute, if this is about Jason, I didn’t beat him up. I’m told I used one of the defensive throws I was taught in my Kenpo classes, but I honestly don’t remember.” Tears started to roll down my cheeks as I explained things from my perspective, how Jason’s so violently violating my personal space had brought back some bad memories from the summer.

“I’m really sorry if I broke a rule or something. It all just happened so fast. And Jason is not a nice guy anyway. He tried to get my best friend Nikki on drugs before I came here this summer.” Both Coach and the apparent Principal, one Matthew Rochelle judging by the nameplate on his desk, arched their brows in unison. “I don’t want, or need, the kind of trouble a guy like that brings.”

By now Coach Wilson had come over and put a comforting arm around me as she gave me a tissue. Principal Rochelle looked like the proverbial cat in a roomful of rocking chairs as he realized the minefield he had just entered. He slowly retrieved a pad from his desk, writing something out and handing it to me. A hall pass, by the look of it, personally notarized by him. “I’m sorry, Ms. Smith.” He offered, giving Coach Wilson an awkward, nervous glance. She knew exactly what he meant by that, leading me out of his office.

She led me down to the faculty restroom so I could make myself presentable in private, and while washing my face, I looked up at her reflection in the mirror, breaking the calm silence that had fallen over us. “Coach? Why did you come find me anyway?”

She smiled back at me, folding her arms casually. “I’d be lying if I told you it wasn’t because I’m trying to win you over, Robin. For what it’s worth Matt really does feel badly for bringing this up like this. I don’t think either of us realized just how deeply this affected you. I’m sorry.”

I smiled a little, “It’s okay. I’ve been dealing with it in therapy for months, but my therapist says it’s something I’m just going to have to learn to cope with in my own time. Hey, um, Coach? Do you know?”

“Know what?”

“… Why I can’t play sports?”

She nodded, “We staff have all been informed. For what it’s worth I think it’s a stupid rule that deserves to be challenged. You’ve got a right to play just like every other girl in this school.”

After checking my hair, I turned to hug her. “Thanks Coach. … For everything. The school board meeting's Monday, so I’ll know by Monday afternoon if I can play.”

As I entered AP English, Mrs. Ellis, our pretty young fresh-out-of-college teacher of the medium-length raven locks and five-foot frame abruptly paused mid-sentence. Her big brown eyes settled directly on me.

“Sorry I’m late, ma’am. Principal Rochelle wanted a word with me.” I handed her the note, and quickly took my seat. She glanced at it, then back at me.

“Is everything alright?”

I smiled wryly as I nodded. “Yeah. Um, someone tried to pick a fight with me this morning, but it’s okay. If he tries anything again campus security will deal with it,” I offered.

She chewed her lower lip in thought for a moment and nodded. “Right. We’re presently discussing Shakespeare and his impact on modern literature. Come see me after class if you’d like a copy of my lecture notes on what you missed. Moving right along,” she continued her lecture.

“Uh, Robin? Is it true you broke Jason Beaumont’s arm?” I heard Bobby Nelson whisper from behind me.

I turned, staring at him. “What? No! I put him on his ass for grabbing me, but I didn’t hurt him, unless you count hurting his pride.”

He nodded, seeming to think about that for a moment, then smiled. “Cool. Sorry about Monday by the way,” he muttered half-heartedly. I couldn’t help smiling a little.

“Sorry about being so rude to you on Monday. I was just super-nervous about the new school and stuff. … Listen, I know a cute girl that has a huge crush on you if you want me to talk to her…”

His eyes lit up at that, and he nodded, returning to his note-taking.

I breathed a relieved sigh as the last bell rang. I made it through the first week with only a little bit of trouble. I couldn’t help wondering though, as I walked to the gym with Jennifer and Allison, if I was setting myself up for a fall with what I did to Jason.

Jennifer had talked me into coming to shoot some hoops with her while we waited for tryouts to begin. Today marked the preliminary cheer tryouts, and while I had absolutely no intention of trying out, Jennifer seemed a shoe-in for varsity. I slipped into the coaches’ private office and shower area to change into my gym clothes since there was absolutely no way I was going to risk ruining my favorite dress just to blow off some steam.

I really should have thought this whole decision through better. As we goofed around shooting baskets, it developed into a more competitive one on one match. More girls there for tryouts began to gather on the bleachers with Allison, watching us.

I must reiterate right now that I’d never played sports a day in my life before that week, but thanks to Allison’s coaching, coupled with two weeks at Girl Scout camp, I at least had managed to get into a lot better shape over the summer, allowing me to keep up with Jennifer, even if she had been ahead by two points in our friendly game.

A loud whistle blew, catching both of our attention just as I threw the ball out for an attempted three-point shot. The ball bounced off the rim, narrowly missing smacking Jennifer by a few inches.

“Eek! Sorry!”

Jennifer laughed as she waved at the petite auburn-haired woman in gym shorts and a white t-shirt bearing a pink silhouette of a dancer, with the scrawl “School Spirit!” prominently printed in the same coloring. Apparently she had been sitting with the girls just watching us this whole time.

“Alright, Jennifer and…” she began, nodding toward me for my name.

“Robin,” Jennifer answered for me, grinning.

“Robin! Take your seats and we’ll get started.”

“Um… Get started?” I asked, confused. She gave me a blank stare. “For cheer tryouts?”

“Oh, I’m not here for cheerleading.” I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. “I just came with Jen to blow off some steam. I’ll just go change now.” I waved, turning to run off toward the coach’s office.

“Hang on a second!” the woman called after me, causing me to pause and slowly turn back. “Chelsea told me she saw you take out Jason Beaumont this morning. Is that true?”

I gave a wry smile as I approached her. “Yeah, kind of,” I responded sheepishly, and proceeded to, for the TWELFTH time that day, explain how this whole ‘karate super-kid’ rumor began. When I finished, she sized me up and nodded.

“You don’t have any gymnastics training do you?”

I shook my head quickly. “I’ve been taking Kenpo lessons from Ashton Rogers for almost a month now, but before this summer I didn’t even go jogging.” I shrugged a little. She continued to stare at me for a long moment.

“Well, it’s a real shame you’re not interested. You have a great look, and you’re confident enough to stand up for yourself. You’d make a great cheerleader.”

Before I could correct her that the ‘standing up for myself’ part was pure instinct, Jennifer added, “At Girl Scout Camp we bunked with a cheerleader from another division who told us Robin was the most spirited girl she’d ever met.”

“That’s how she got the CIT nickname ‘Spirit’ too,” Allison piped up from the stands. I glanced between the three of them, growing more uneasy as I realized where this conversation was going.

The as-yet unnamed woman gave me a surprised stare at that, “Spirit? YOU’RE Spirit?!”

I bit my lip. “Um… yes?”

She grinned proudly, “Robin, I don’t know quite how to tell you this. My name is Angela Greer. You met my sister-in-law Meredith and my daughter Amanda already. Are you sure you won’t at least try? I’m going to have our former Captain going through the motions once for the other new girls as well, so it’s not like you’ll go into it blind, but if you really aren’t interested I understand.”

I thought it over for a moment. What did I have to lose, other than my dignity? I’d already robbed Jason of his this morning, so it seemed cosmic balance that I lose mine. Plus it could be fun! I finally nodded, smiling at her. “Okay.”

She pointed, with a broad smile, to the bleachers. “Sit, sit, sit! We’re running behind!” She reached back for the bleachers, picking up her clipboard. “Chelsea, you’re up!”

I heaved a nervous sigh as the other girls either gave me nervous stares, or outright glared. One of them hissed at me, “Teacher’s pet!” By now Allison had slipped out to call home and let Mom know I’d be late, so without her there to gallantly defend me, I shook my head.

“You’re overreacting. I looked out for her daughter at camp, but I didn’t even know I was going to be coming to school here this year, I swear!”

“Whatevs, valley girl. Just stay out of my way.”

Jennifer had heard enough and elbowed the girl. “Can it Stacey. Robin’s my friend, and you already know what she did to the last person to threaten her,” she grinned broadly. “On the OTHER hand she’s also the nicest person you’ll ever meet if you’re nice to her.”

The brunette identified as Stacey just rolled her eyes. I couldn’t help seeing a little bit of Andrea in her; I already didn’t like her. Meanwhile Chelsea, the All-American super-babe as Jennifer had so eloquently put it, proceeded to demonstrate the proper technique for each move as Angela called it out. After Chelsea took her seat, Angela proceeded down the list of names.

Allison had only just returned when she called my name. I hesitantly stood and moved to position. I couldn’t help feeling completely ridiculous as I missed steps, moved awkwardly from one move to another or performed the wrong move entirely, but I still found it kind of fun, if very strenuous! It seemed like her drilling me went on longer than it had for the other girls, including those who were just as bad as me, though it was probably just nerves.

Finally, she announced, “Alright, you can sit.”

I walked slowly back to the bleachers as I mopped some sweat from my brow with my hand. Even my scrunchie was slightly moist from the run-off sweat. Stacey actually cracked a smile as I sat. I was just WAITING for her to say something snide.

“Not bad, valley girl,” she smirked. “You looked like someone doused you in gasoline and lit a match, but I’ve seen worse, including lard lass over there. No way you’ll make it, but you’ve got the guts to try. I’m sure someone cares about that.”

Jennifer rolled her eyes, and Allison slid closer to me and squeezed my hand. She seemed to be choosing to ignore Stacey’s comments, so I let them slide, turning my attention to my friend instead. “I’d hug you, but I am seriously in need of a shower first.” I teased. Jennifer laughed.

“Hey, you tried, and you’re having fun right?”

“Absolutely. That was a blast.”

Not surprisingly, I didn’t make the cut for the squad, but I did have fun trying out. Jennifer, Allison and I got up and started walking toward the coaches’ offices so I could shower. The other two stood outside and waited for me, and even Coach Greer was kind enough to respect my privacy, hanging back and chatting with the girls outside.

I looked like a drowned rat when I emerged in my street clothes again, duffle bag full of sweaty gym clothes slung over my shoulder, but I felt incredible. I stepped out of the Lady Coaches’ offices to find Coaches Wilson and Greer chatting right outside, with Allison and Jennifer nowhere to be seen.

“Oh, Robin, I was just chatting with Steph here about your tryouts.”

I couldn’t help myself, and laughed. “I like how Stacey put it. She said I looked like I had been lit on fire.”

Coach Wilson cracked a smile. She tried hard not to laugh, but I shook my head, “Go ahead and laugh — it’s true!” I giggled, “I didn’t even want to try out at first because I’ve never had any experience with this sort of thing. I do have a new respect for what these girls put themselves through though. Depending on whether or not I sign up for more than one session of resident camp with the Girl Scouts next year, I might attend a cheer camp, maybe start gymnastics if I can’t play basketball.”

I looked around, suddenly aware that my friends were nowhere to be seen. “Where’d Jen and Ally go?”

“I believe they went to get a soda,” Angela offered.

“We promised to guard the door for you,” Coach Wilson added with a grin. I smiled at both as I reshouldered my duffle bag. “Well, I’m going to go see if I can find them. Thanks for asking me to try out Ms. Greer.”

“Call me Angela, dear: ‘Coach’ during school hours.” She winked.

I had no sooner stepped out of the gym than I heard a familiar, angry voice from around the blind corner.

“So, you think you’re so awesome, huh?” Jason snarled as he stepped around, followed by another boy I didn’t recognize. “Little bitch!”

“Look, I’m sorry for embarrassing you, but you shouldn’t have grabbed me-”

“Shut up you little whore! Nobody humiliates me and gets away with it!”

He lunged at me and I darted to the right, smacking him with my duffle bag. He let out a grunt as the other boy grabbed me by the arm. I screamed as loudly as I could, bringing my knee up trying to hit him in the groin. He leapt back, and Jason took a swing at me. Coaches Wilson and Greer came running out of the lobby followed by a couple of girls who had just finished showering. The two boys immediately took off running.

“Robin, what happened?!” Coach Wilson exclaimed as she ran up to me. I shook my head slowly, still in shock from the attack. They both put their arms around me and led me back inside. Stacey, standing outside the coaches’ office and slurping a diet soda watched us approach and stepped back neutrally. I sat on the small, dark brown sofa and buried my face in my hands.

“Jason Beaumont and another boy jumped me,” I offered as tears began streaming. Angela practically scowled as she sat on the sofa and put her arms around me. I tried to control myself, but I couldn’t help being reminded of the Raggedy Man incident for the second time that day. Jennifer, Allison, and about ten other girls who heard the commotion and came running all crowded around the door.

“Robin! Oh my God I’m going to kill whoever did this to you!” Allison shrieked as she pushed her way over and knelt to hug me.

“It was Jason, Ally,” I responded quietly, trying to get my emotions under control. “He and another boy ambushed me as I was leaving the gym. I tried to get away just like Josh taught me.”

“I’ll talk to the school resource officer,” Coach Wilson offered. “I won’t have bullying on this campus, especially two little punks thinking they can just gang up on a girl like this.”

“Thanks Coach. I’d better get home. I’ve got to get ready for Kenpo.”

Allison laughed, “You’ve got to be kidding!”

“No, I signed up for this, and Sensei Rogers deserves to hear what happened from me. I need to know from him directly if he thinks I made a mistake with Jason. I just… I need some spiritual guidance.” I managed a smile as I stood, Jennifer and Allison wrapping me in a hug, and Allison handing off a red cream soda.

“Here. You’ve earned a treat.”

I smiled a little as I accepted the sugary sweet drink. Shopping and red cream soda are simultaneously the answer to all life’s problems, if only temporarily.

Later that night, Sensei and I sat on the floor across from each other in our semi-private storage room training area … thing. He listened thoughtfully as I told him everything that happened that day, with emphasis on my two encounters with Jason.

“I feel as though I’m responsible for this, Sensei. I should have been more discrete before resorting to what you taught me. It’s just… In that one split second, I think I saw the raggedy man in Jason, and instinct took over. I really didn’t hurt him, but the WHOLE school couldn’t stop talking about it.” I sighed softly as I bowed forward in deference to him. “I’m sorry, Sensei. I feel like I’ve already failed you.”

He stroked his neatly trimmed beard as he contemplated what I’d said. I sat nervously, only now beginning to notice in our mutual silence, the soft oriental music drifting over the PA system speaker that hung above the door.

“Do you feel like you ‘won’ today?”

I immediately shook my head. “No. I feel like I should have been way more discrete to begin with, then he might’ve never tried to attack me this afternoon. I feel like I’m just lucky to be alive.”

“All things in life are connected. Every decision we make branches out with its own consequences, however, it’s impossible for you to know with absolute certainty how things might have gone differently; it‘s good that you don’t see this as a victory, but it wasn’t a defeat either.

“It was an encounter between a bright student and an aggressive bully. Robin, if I didn’t believe you would use my lessons purely to protect yourself, I wouldn’t have taken you on as a student. You reacted to a threat: an invasion of your personal space. Don’t blame yourself because he decided to be stupid.” He winked at me and smiled as he stood and offered me his hand.

I quickly took it, pulling myself up and bowed. “Thank you, Sensei. That helps so much.”

He motioned toward the main room of the dojo. “If you’re certain you feel well enough, the rest of the class is waiting to hear of your harrowing encounter, and then I have a few more things I’d like to show you all tonight.”

Later that night I lay on my bed, foregoing writing in my diary in favor of squeezing Mister Kensington close to me. My old phone had finally died on me last week, but since the contract was due to expire anyway I replaced it with a cute pink pre-paid Samsung with caller ID, call waiting, and even a camera function.

The new phone started to ring, but I didn’t answer it. Eight rings later, my voicemail automatically picked it up, though whoever it was called again. I sighed, sitting up and grabbing the annoying device from my nightstand. I immediately brightened on seeing Nicole’s number on the screen.

“Hey Nikki,” I tried to sound warm despite my dour mood.

“Hey you,” Nicole answered cheerfully. I had called before Kenpo to talk to her about what had happened, but unfortunately we didn’t have long to chat. I forgot to call her back. I quickly started piling up my pillows, propping my back against them. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay, feeling kind of down about all this … And Nikki? I … I know this is going to sound completely insane, but I think I might be why Jason dumped you.”

She started laughing, but stopped when she realized I wasn’t laughing too. “Wait, you’re serious, aren’t you?”

“Remember how awhile ago, Allison and I were laughing about this cute guy that held the elevator for me, how he probably thought I was flirting with him? I don’t know what the heck he was doing in the hospital that day, but it was definitely him. I think maybe he remembered me which is why he probably wanted to talk to me this morning.”

“Ohmygawd,” she giggled. “I mean, you’re right that it’s probably coincidence, but… Well you’ve seen what he’s like. It could’ve been me he jumped instead of you and unlike you, I’m not a ninja.”

“But you do look sexy in black,” I teased, causing her another giggle.

“I love you Robin. Do you have to see Doc Ketz tomorrow?”

“Yeah, but I’ll be home tomorrow afternoon. She needs to know about the attack and stuff, and I have another checkup with the Endo, which means more blood tests. I hate needles,” I whined.

“Poor baby,” she cooed, then added, “Crap. Mom’s yelling at me to get off the phone. G’night cutie.”

“Sweet dreams, vampire,” I teased back, turning off my phone. I slowly slid off the bed and, after changing into my pajamas, curled up under the covers with Mister Kensington. Blackness followed.

~* Lady Tiger? *~ “Out of curiosity, Robin,” the younger-looking woman whose name I also didn’t know spoke up this time, “Why exactly are you so interested in sports now? It was my understanding from the last meeting that you had no interest?” “A girl’s not allowed to change her mind?” I teased with a wry smile, causing them to chuckle then continued. “No, but to answer your question honestly, I never tried sports. I never had any… any drive, or desire to try because I was pretending to be a boy, and boys are scary to compete with, or against. To put it simply, I would have been a girl trying to play against boys. “But as my real self, as Robin, I know that my friends, my teammates, and even the other team aren’t out to break my neck. We’re all competitive, sure, but for the most part not as viciously. Plus I’ve found that it’s really a lot more fun than I gave it credit for when I don’t have to worry about someone trying to prove they’re better by hospitalizing me.”

---

“You seem to be a magnet for trouble, young lady,” Doctor Ketz teased, though I could hear the twinge of concern in her voice. I sat on her sofa with Mom and Margie on either side of me, having just related to her the events of the previous day, how Nicole’s old boyfriend decided the ‘whore’ needed to be taught a lesson. I could see through the open window shade that rain still poured from the darkened sky outside.

“I’m worried the school board might use this against me as evidence that if I tried to play sports, that more kids would get ideas,” I said softly as I concluded.

Doctor Ketz nodded, jotted something down on her familiar old notepad, and responded in a neutral but gentle tone, “That’s a valid concern. Speaking of which though, I’ve been reviewing their ruling, and I’m almost certain it was written as a blanket statement without taking students like you into account at all. Technically your late onset puberty could work to your advantage in that, while you experienced some secondary sex characteristic development such as your voice deepening slightly, things like bulked muscle mass and any major growth spurts never occurred.

“Frankly the only problem I see is their ruling on requiring surgery. It’s obvious to me that they know absolutely nothing about how serious SRS is. It’s a life-changing operation that a minor should not be expected to take lightly. Furthermore, by the time they are old enough to have that kind of surgery, the two year wait period to participate following is just laughably ridiculous, in my opinion.

“They need to realize that it’s the hormones that do the work, not the genitalia. I’d like to have a word with these school board members, myself. It seems they are in serious need of education on what a real transgendered student has to deal with.”

I brightened right up at that. Was she offering? “You’d speak on my behalf?”

She smiled. “Of course I would. It wouldn’t hurt to involve the American Civil Liberties Union as well though,” she added, nodding toward Mom.

Margie spoke up at that, “Yes, my attorney suggested the same. He has a contact in the organization who’s going to be watching this situation like a hawk to see how it proceeds.”

Doctor Ketz nodded. “Good. Now, how have you been adjusting to your new role in school?”

The rest of the weekend progressed relatively quietly. Come Monday, I dressed casual-conservative since I had to meet with the school board, opting for my Girl Scouts of America T-shirt and a pair of faded jeans with matched forest green socks.

As Allison, Nicole, Jennifer and I entered the front lobby of the school, w received quite a surprise. Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to stare at me. One girl I recognized from cheerleading tryouts last Friday started clapping, and slowly the applause rose to a roar. I blushed. Deeply.

“What… What’s this all about?” I asked, pulling Stacey aside the moment I saw her. We didn’t exactly get along, but I knew she’d at least be honest.

“EVERYONE’s been talking about what Jason did to you. Everybody’s glad to see you’re okay. Of course, WE all knew you were okay physically, but you know how high school rumor mills are,” she added dryly in … was that a friendly tone?

I shook my head slowly, “Stacey it wasn’t that bad… Was it? It all happened so fast, and I was kind of in shock.”

“Look, I know I gave you a hard time Friday, and don’t think this means that I like you, but I’m not stupid enough to risk my social status to pick on the flavor of the month. When this crap blows over, we’ll see where you stand.” She smirked as she slammed her locker shut to punctuate the point, turning to walk away. I glanced at Allison and Jennifer, who both gave me an indifferent shrug. I took that to mean she wasn’t worth being offended over and smiled, continuing on to class with them. A few Bruce Lee whoops followed in our wake.

Home room, Math, and AP English all progressed down similar lines. I’d walk into the room, and everyone would stop and stare at me as I took my seat, then one or two people would ask if I was really okay. P.E. was the hardest though because Coach Wilson seemed to be running late, so I had plenty of time to explain that no, Jason didn’t do anything ‘bad’ to me, no, I didn’t hospitalize him, no I had no idea why he wasn’t in school today. I’d already dressed out before she finally arrived , and thankfully the conversation had changed by now. I’d chatting with a few girls about something called ‘Twilight’ when she approached..

“Robin! Oh thank heaven you’re back today. I’ve been worried about you all weekend!”

I smiled wryly as I turned toward the familiar voice. Coach Wilson really towered over most of us at six feet three inches, but maintained an attractive figure for her age despite it. “Really, I’m okay. It was just a couple of idiots who couldn’t take that a girl might be able to kick their butts in a fair fight. It just shook me up.”

“Well, if you want you can sit this one out today,” she began, but I interrupted her.

“Not a chance. I still don’t know if my condition will let me play sports or not. I don’t have time to jog in the morning with school back in session, and my evenings are full of homework and stuff, so I’m not going to back out of P.E. just because I hurt some jackass’ feelings.” I stopped abruptly, realizing what I just said. About half the class started giggling as I covered my mouth. “Sorry! It’s just… Well he kind of is.”

Coach Wilson winced slightly, more in empathy for me than at what I said. “I’ll let it pass this time. Alright girls, line up!”

I didn’t feel much like eating lunch today, so I instead just sat with my friends and nibbled some chili French fries while I listened to their playful banter. Jennifer abruptly wrapped me in a hug, causing me to jump and look up at her. She smiled.

“Sorry. You looked like you needed a hug. Anything you want to talk about?”

I shook my head, “It’s just everybody’s making a big deal out of like, everything I do. First it’s ‘valley girl’, now ‘Karate Chick’...” I whined. Nicole wrapped me in a one-armed hug from the other side.

“You’re popular, dear. This is what happens to popular girls. You know those annoying celebrity gossip rags at the grocery store? Yeah, think of yourself like being on the front page of one of those, only a high school edition.”

I groaned. “So not helping Nikki. I’ve got that school board meeting in like, ten minutes. There are some things the other kids DON’T need to know about.”

“We could give them something else to talk about,” she teased.

“Like what?” I turned to ask her. She caught me in a quick, soft kiss and grinned.

“Like that?”

A chorus of giggles came from everyone except me. I just sunk my head into my arms and groaned. It’s not that I didn’t ENJOY the kiss. I loved it. I just wasn’t ready to let everyone know the new, popular, drug dealer’s-butt-kicker was also in a committed lesbian relationship.

At least for now, no one seemed to notice. Or if they did, no one commented. I’d take that for what it was worth. I sat up again and hugged Nicole, leaning over to kiss her cheek. “I’ve got to get going. Walk me to the meeting?”

She grinned, grabbing my hand as we carried our trays. A few quiet giggles followed behind us, but they had to find out sooner or later. Better to get it over with now, while I was still hot news than to give them a reason to point and stare a couple of months from now, right? … Right?

Mom, Margie, Carol, Joe, Doctor Ketz, and a man I didn’t quite recognize, but that seemed somehow familiar, all stood in a semi-circle in the school’s main office as they waited. I gave Nicole a parting hug, sneaking a quick kiss when we didn’t think anyone would notice then stepped inside.

“I’m not late am I?”

“Not at all,” Margie responded. Mom picked up from there.

“We’re just waiting for the school board to finish another meeting. Remember what Doctor Ketz said the other day?”

I mentally replayed the conversation, trying to pick up on what the correlation could be. “You mean about the news people?”

She nodded. “From the sound of it, it’s just politics as usual that got blown out of proportion though.”

I nodded, shifting my gaze toward the man in the power suit. His short, curly black hair kind of added to his charming poise. Of course, he was old enough to be my dad so it’s not as though I found him attractive like that, even if I did like guys. He seemed to notice me staring and offered his hand, smiling.

“Max Greenburg,”

“Oh! Now I remember you. You got rid of your glasses though,” I babbled like a complete ditz, causing him to chuckle as we shook hands.

“Contact lenses. My astigmatism wouldn’t allow me to wear contacts before, but a client mentioned these new ones a few weeks ago. Incidentally, don’t be nervous about this interview. I finally got your paperwork through this past weekend on your birth certificate. Everything’s in order. If they try anything, the ACLU will be on them like the paparazzi on a drunken celebrity.” He grinned. I had to laugh. That was a beautiful analogy considering Nicole’s similar one earlier.

“Robin and company,” the principal stepped into the main office, smiling at his own atrocious joke as he showed another woman out. When she turned to smile at me, I recognized her instantly. I should have, after all, as she was none other than Tina Gale, the anchorwoman for New Haven Channel Two News. She broke the story about Allison and me with the Raggedy Man.

I gave her a nervous smile as she approached us, but thankfully just to pass us by heading out of the office. We filed into the conference room after Principal Rochelle, where he took a seat at the end of the table, motioning for us to sit.

“Now then. This meeting is to discuss whether or not to lift the moratorium on transgender students being allowed to participate in the sport of their identified gender, rather than their birth gender.”

Barbara immediately raised her hand, “Ah, before we continue… Barbara Ketzowski, PhD and MD, and Robin’s therapist. With all respect I’d just like to correct that statement if I may. Gender and sex are not the same thing. I realize they’re used interchangeably in general, but one’s sex and one’s gender, as was Robin’s case before she began taking corrective hormone replacement therapy, were misaligned. Robin IS female.”

An older, balding man cleared his throat, “Technically, Ms. Ketzowski,”

“Doctor Ketzowski,” she corrected neutrally.

“DOCTOR Ketzowski, without the change to birth certificate-”

Before he could continue, Max held up his hand, opening his briefcase. “Actually, before you break out that line of defense, Ms. Smith’s birth certificate and social security are in order and identify her as female.” He took a few Xeroxed pieces of paper from his briefcase and passed them across to the school board members. The blustery piped right down. I had to wonder if this interview might have gone better if they hadn’t just had Ms. Gale in here earlier, and mentally sighed as Doctor Ketz cleared her throat.

“Now then, the ruling by the Middletown School Board states that a child may participate in the sports of their identified gender only if they take corrective hormones before puberty, and two years after corrective surgery,” Doctor Ketz began, “The problem with that notion is that Sex Reassignment Surgery is a MAJOR medical procedure, and like any procedure there are certain serious risks involved in performing this surgery on a minor for what is, by many in the medical profession considered to be purely cosmetic.

“While there are psychological ramifications for the patient, i.e. they feel more self-confident, it is something that is and should be decided on a case-by-case basis, and not forced upon a student just so they can play sports.” I heard the door open behind me, glancing over just long enough to see Coaches Wilson and Greer entering. I smiled a little as I returned my attention to the school board.

“Again, one’s sex and one’s gender are two very different things. Hormones, ladies and gentlemen, are what make a man a man, and a woman a woman. In Robin’s case, she suffered a rare genetic condition which caused slow, late onset puberty. She only began to experience the effects of puberty just before turning fourteen, and this summer had already begun her transition. Currently she takes medication to block testosterone from affecting her, allowing her to develop as a perfectly normal girl her age should.

“To use a more familiar analogy, requiring Robin, or any student, to have sex reassignment surgery in order to participate in sports would be tantamount to requiring genetic female students have breast augmentation surgery because the Lakers cheerleaders did so.”

Every single face fell sheepishly at that, as Doctor Ketz removed her glasses, leaning forward and looking each person directly in the eye before she spoke again, “Let me put it simply. Does this young lady you see before you look like the six foot tall three-hundred pound linebacker this rule was designed to stop from having an advantage in girls’ sports?”

Each school board member cautiously looked at one another. Finally, and most surprisingly for me, the blustery man spoke, this time more gently. “Doctor Ketzowski raises a valid point. And with the issue of Ms. Smith’s assault last Friday,” he added, nodding toward me, “If word got out that we were discriminating against her because of a policy written by a school board that has never even met a transgendered student, let alone such a convincing girl, especially while the press are poking around, I think we all know the consequences.”

I frowned at his tone with the ‘convincing girl’ crack, to say nothing of his interest lying more in what the press might think, but at least we seemed otherwise to be on the same page.

“Out of curiosity, Robin,” the younger-looking woman whose name I also didn’t know spoke up this time, “Why exactly are you so interested in sports now? It was my understanding from the last meeting that you had no interest?”

“A girl’s not allowed to change her mind?” I teased with a wry smile, causing them to chuckle then continued. “No, but to answer your question honestly, I never tried sports. I never had any… any drive, or desire to try because I was pretending to be a boy, and boys are scary to compete with, or against. To put it simply, I would have been a girl trying to play against boys.

“But as my real self, as Robin, I know that my friends, my teammates, and even the other team aren’t out to break my neck. We’re all competitive, sure, but for the most part not as viciously. Plus I’ve found that it’s really a lot more fun than I gave it credit for when I don’t have to worry about someone trying to prove they’re better by hospitalizing me.”

I added a moment later, “And if you think that’s an exaggeration, then please check my permanent record from last year, at my last school. I got the crap kicked out of me by the captain of the wrestling team for no other reason than because he could.”

Principal Rochelle spoke next, “She was attending cheerleading tryouts when the Beaumont boy assaulted her.” He paused, nodding toward the two coaches who had, until now, been silent.

Coach Greer spoke up first. “She told us she knew she wouldn’t make it, but she was glad I talked her into trying out anyway just to have the experience. Isn’t that what High School is about — students experiencing all life has to offer, be it sports, reading, or finding themselves?”

Coach Wilson approached, placing her hand on my shoulder. “Ladies and gentlemen, I would be lying if I told you that I even began to understand what this young woman has been through, not just in the last three months since she began to transition, but throughout her entire life. I CAN tell you though, that talent only goes so far. Robin here is a team player. The only advantage she has over any other student is her ability to not let other students’ snide remarks get to her.”

Coach Greer picked right up where she left off, “I’m glad Robin wore her GSC t-shirt today because it reminded me of something you all need to hear. This young lady saved my daughter. Robin was known as ‘Spirit’ at her Girl Scout camp.

“She was accepted by the Senior staff as a Counselor in Training just like any other girl, and when my little girl was injured late in the first week, it was Robin who not only administered first-aid, but my Amanda’s doctors later told me that had she not been brought in when she had, that the infection that had already begun to set up would have spread and possibly taken her leg.”

By now, Coach Greer was on the verge of tears. As for me, I just sat there in shock. I had no idea her wound was that bad, and even Nurse Bree never told me anything more than ‘It might need stitches’! “It’s because of her that my baby can walk. You can’t deny that she’s a remarkable, strong, and empathetic young woman, and that she has every right to be who you all know she is. This is not some muscle-bound boy trying to pass himself off to have an advantage and you know it.”

The younger lady immediately smiled as she turned her attention to me, “I move to amend our Transgender policy to temporarily remove the two year waiting period for Sex Reassignment Surgery pending further research, and further move that from now on, we evaluate on a case by case basis. We won’t be letting every football player in a dress just sign up for girls’ sports, but it’s clear to me that Robin is an example of the exception, and deserves a chance to be herself in all aspects of her education.”

The formerly-blustery fellow stood. “I second the motion. All in favor?”

“Aye,” came the near-unanimous response. Two hold-outs, one middle-aged man and one woman I’d guess to be in her early thirties, remained silent.

“Congratulations, Robin. You can try out for the Lady Tigers.” Principal Rochelle pronounced with just a hint of pride in his otherwise neutral tone. His support continued to surprise me for some reason, but I’d take what victories I could get.

“Ah, one last thing,” Max held up his hand again before I could respond.

“You’ll remember from our last meeting that keeping Robin’s identity as a Transgendered student secret is of paramount importance to her perceived safety. Whether or not it actually is, the fact that she and her family strongly wish to keep it secret is enough that I’ve been keeping closely in touch with Kathleen Morrison.” The mood in the room tangibly shifted slightly. I couldn’t put my finger on it exactly, but it seemed as though unease, possibly even fear, permeated their mixed expressions. Max had just dropped a powerful name, apparently.

“Ah, you’re familiar. She’ll be in touch with the school to ensure that every step is being taken to protect Ms. Smith from any bullying based on her gender status or sexual preference.”

I couldn’t help smiling. “Thank you, Mr. Greenburg. I hate lying to my fellow students about my birth sex, but the truth is, they have no reason or any RIGHT to know private things like this. It’s hard enough for me to have to use the coaches’ offices to shower and change, without being able to tell them, but Jason’s already proven that some people will irrationally hate for any reason. I don’t want to put myself in unnecessary danger.” Okay, so now I had just entered damage control mode. I agreed with Max that my secret needed to be kept, no ‘perceived’ about it, but he went too far, and I had to at least try to make them understand WHY they were being so over-protective of me, Raggedy Man aside.

The woman who abstained from voting frowned at that sentiment, glancing between me and Max, then back again, “When you put it like that, I will tentatively support Robin’s wish to participate in girls’ sports.”

“Finally, regarding the Beaumont incident, my client and her family don’t wish to press charges against the school; however we expect this incident of bullying doesn’t happen again, or there will be premeditated assault charges against him, and the ACLU is prepared to level charges of dereliction of duty and endangerment of a minor against the school. Of course, I’m sure it won’t come to that.” He had a poker face that could rival Barbara’s. I cringed at the serious accusations being dropped though, but resolved to trust Margie and Mom’s judgment for now.

Principal Rochelle responded, “I assure you, Mr. Greenburg, it will not come to that. Under threat of expulsion, Mr. Beaumont revealed the name of his accomplice. They’ve both received a one week in-school suspension and campus staff has been alerted that he is not to come within thirty yards of Ms. Smith while on school property, and his and his accomplice’s classes are in the process of being rescheduled to present minimum opportunity for either of them to interact with her or her friends.”

We stood and shook hands, filing out. I grabbed my backpack and, after excitedly hugging Mom and Margie, and Carol and Joe, raced off to my next class, hall pass in-hand.

After school I walked back to the gym with Nicole, Allison, and Jennifer. I wasn’t about to leave their sides today, nor they mine. As we approached the gym I had to flinch. Nicole wrapped her arms around me, urging me to keep going. I rested my head on her shoulder and closed my eyes until we got into the main lobby.

“Hi girls. What can I do for you? Congratulations on the victory by the way!” Coach Wilson spoke cheerfully as we entered the office she shared with Coach Greer and the other lady coaches.

“Thanks. You and Coach Greer were a big help with that.” I blushed. “I didn’t realize how serious Amanda’s injury was. The camp staff never told me anything more, and then the next week I was already on a plane for San Francisco because my mom finally woke up.”

“Woke up?” She arched her brows at me, waiting for me to continue.

“Yeah… This whole thing started because my mom was in a car accident. I came here to live with my older sister, which is how I met Ally, Jen and Nikki.”

She nodded as she listened, offering me a sympathetic smile. “You just can’t have it easy can you? But don’t worry; Angie and I have been talking and we think we’ve worked out a system for you to get your shower after an Away game without violating your privacy. We’ll talk more about it after you’ve made the team though.” She winked, glancing at Jennifer. “Jennifer, are you trying out this year?”

“No ma’am. I’ll be at all the games though.” She grinned. “I made varsity cheerleader, and coupled with gymnastics and Robin talking me into taking AP classes with her this year, my plate’s too full. But you can bet I’ll work my butt off to help her!”

“That’s what I like to hear!” Coach responded warmly. “Oh, Robin, you’re probably tired of hearing this, but are you sure you’re okay?”

I gave a wry smile in response. “I’m okay, mostly. Just knowing what happened THIS close to staff, though … I was stupid not to wait for the others to come back.”

“Everybody makes mistakes. You shouldn’t beat yourself up over it.” She surprised me by stepping closer and giving me a friendly hug. People loved to hug me, but for the most part I couldn’t complain. I liked feeling like people could approach me, mostly.

“No, really, I was stupid. This isn’t the first time I’ve been attacked; only the other guy was a sexual predator.” I frowned, as did she. The mousy blonde-haired girl who had been typing away at the computer, up until now ignoring us in favor of whatever she was doing spun in her computer chair and listened as I recounted the Raggedy Man saga, and how those memories haunted Allison and me for months, and prompted me to start taking self defense classes before school started. As I spoke, I couldn’t help feeling I’d seen the other girl somewhere before.

“That explains why you reacted to that punk grabbing you the way you did,” Coach Wilson finally responded. “That would mess anybody up. Um, no offense.”

“None taken Coach,” I offered with a hint of warmth. The other girl slowly turned back to her work, typing away. I glanced over at her. “You okay?”

She forced a smile as she looked back at me. “Yup. Just surprised I guess. You seem so candid about these attacks, like it’s no big deal.”

I had to laugh, “I have a reeeeally good therapist,” I offered, causing her to giggle. “I’m Robin, by the way,”

“Oh,” she stood and approached brushing soft blonde ringlets out of her eyes as she adjusted her blue wire-rim glasses. She nervously extended her hand. “I remember you, Spirit — Elaine, from Girl Scout camp.” She grinned. “I’m just Coach Wilson’s administrative student aid. Glorified scorekeeper,” she offered with a shy smile.

“Bah, don’t sell yourself short Ellie. I’d be lost without you!” Coach shot back as I shook her hand.

“Elaine! I knew you looked familiar!”

She laughed, “Yeah, I cut my hair pretty short, but it’s starting to grow back. I didn’t figure you’d remember me though.”

“Of course I remember you. You were the only one besides Jen and Counselor Dunham to talk to me about that old mare throwing me. God that was so embarrassing. Hey, we’re going out for pizza to celebrate if you want to join us?”

She smiled, but shook her head, “Nah, thanks though. I’ve got tons of work to catch up on here.” She responded wryly. I couldn’t help feeling she just didn’t feel comfortable with us, but decided not to press the issue. I nodded.

“Suit yourself, but you’re welcome to hang out with us any time,” I offered in response. She smiled as she returned to her work, and I returned my attention to Coach Wilson. “Oh, hey, when are tryouts?”

“Basketball season won’t start until November. Tryouts are at the end of the month, but practices for hopefuls, old and new, begin this Thursday after school.”

“Thursday… Okay, yeah I can do Thursday. Can I come in earlier in the week and practice too?”

“If you can find an empty court, help yourself. It’s first come, first served, and the boys can get a little aggressive about girls using the court, but they’re smart enough to keep their mouths shut if they want to play. I have a zero bullying tolerance policy, and if I find out someone’s causing trouble, boy or girl, they’re off the team. Our male coaches hold the same stance, by the way, if you ever have a problem and I or Angie aren’t around to help.”

I nodded solemnly. “I’m trying to restrain myself from kicking anyone else’s butt, but Jason deserved it.”

She chuckled, “I know. I trust you to behave. Was there anything else you needed?”

I shook my head quickly. “No, thank you. See you tomorrow Coach!” We jogged out of the building together, out to the parking lot where Carol’s SUV now waited for us. Apparently she’d seen us heading into the gym and pulled closer just in case of another ‘incident’ like last Friday.

“Shotgun!” Allison squealed seconds before Jennifer, causing the four of us to laugh. Carol smiled cheerfully as she sat in the driver’s seat, turning the key. Nothing.

“Oh no,” she muttered, trying it again. “Come on you piece of junk!” she shouted. She slowly started to blush at her outburst; I’d never seen Carol actually raise her voice. It was kind of scary.

“Pop the hood,” Nicole stated casually. Carol turned to stare at her, as did the rest of us.

“Seriously, pop the hood and let me take a look.”

Carol slowly nodded, and Nicole got out, walking around to the front. Out of sheer morbid curiosity, I followed her. To say that I found the inner workings of the internal combustion engine intimidating would be the understatement of the millennium. I stayed RIGHT back and watched nervously as she fiddled with this and that.

She rolled up the lacy sleeve of her dress, removed several silver rings of varying macabre and gothic styles which she handed to me to hold, and shoved her hand right into a big bundle of dangerous-looking components.

“Is that safe?” I asked hesitantly.

“As long as Carol doesn’t try and start it? Yeah, completely. Ah ha! I think… That… should do it.” She stood back, letting her sleeve roll down again and poking her head around. “Try it now!” she called. A moment later, the sport-utility vehicle started right up like it had just rolled off the assembly line.

Nicole beamed as she let the hood fall closed under its own weight. “I thought so.”

“What was wrong with it?” Carol asked, as we piled back inside.

Nicole chuckled, sliding her jewelry back into place. “To make a long story short, loose wire. It’s the sort of thing a mechanic will overlook because it’s just such an obvious problem that nobody thinks to check it. It’s like checking to make sure the light bulb’s tight before declaring it a dead socket, but you guys all know me well enough to know that I’m a master of the obvious. Just, y’know, usually in sarcastic form.”

“Nikki, I’ve known you for years and I never knew you knew anything about cars,” Allison stated with mild surprise.

Nicole laughed, “Yeah, but like I’ve been telling you for years Ally, that’s why you love me; I’m full of surprises. Daddy had this… idea that since we clashed so much, that there had to be something we could do together. We tried a lot of crap that I hated, and of course I pretended to hate this at first too, but somehow he just knew that I was having fun working on Mom’s Mustang with him, so we kept doing it, then moved on to the Lexus as I got better at it.”

My girlfriend, the gear-head; I had to giggle at the thought. Nicole was absolutely ladylike when she wanted to be, and no one would ever be insane enough to accuse her of being even remotely tomboyish, let alone outright boyish, but the idea of her being the one to like getting her hands dirty and working on a car, where I could barely pump gas, amused me on several levels.

“Robin get down! I see Jason over there!” Allison whispered loudly. We had just pulled up to an intersection waiting for the light to turn green. I immediately sunk in my seat until the car started moving again, exhaling slowly.

Nicole looked like she was about to hyperventilate so I wrapped her in a hug, giving her a reassuring kiss on her cheek as we pulled into the pizza parlor. We piled out of the car and slowly walked inside, before she finally spoke up.

“Robin, walk me to the bathroom? I need to get this grease off my hands. Oh, and I’ll eat whatever you guys want as long as there’s no mushrooms,” she added her pizza comment as a complete afterthought. I should mention that she had no grease on her hands.

I glanced over and nodded, “Same. No mushrooms, everything else is fine.” I hooked my arm with Nicole’s and walked with her into the bathroom. I watched as she washed her hands, mostly a token gesture, while I touched up my shimmering pink lip gloss. I capped the tube as she finished, and she wrapped me in a tight hug and hesitantly rested her head on my shoulder, as though she were afraid I’d pull away.

“I wish he’d just die already. Three freaking months after we break up, he’s still causing problems.”

“I know, Nikki,” I offered softly as I held her close. I let my fingers fall through her hair, eliciting a soft nuzzle from her in return. “C’mon. Let’s go get some pizza. I’m starving.”

“Robin,” she laughed dryly, “You’re ALWAYS starving. It’s not fair. You eat like my dad, yet you have that cute figure, and you don’t even need a corset. You’re one of those high-metabolism girls.”

“You’re wearing a corset?”

“Um, yeah - Goth, remember?” She grinned impishly, grabbing my hand as we walked back out to our table and sat.

A cute, probably eighteen-ish waitress brought out our pizza and placed it on the table. She smiled cheerfully at us.

“Special occasion?”

I chuckled a little, “Kind of. Celebrating Jen’s making the varsity cheer squad and my being talked into trying out for basketball. Mostly Jen cheering though,” I added with a grin, glancing at my half-Polynesian friend and causing her to giggle.

“Ooh congrats! My sister Stacey made the squad this year too. I wanted to go collegiate cheering, but with work to pay for books I just didn’t have the time. Well, anyway, tables to bus, pizzas to deliver!” she beamed, far too excited, to my mind, to be working for minimum wage. She kind of reminded me of a young version of my mom though in that respect. I pushed those thoughts from my mind as I picked up a piece of pizza and dove right in.

“So, anyway Robin, we need to talk about what position you’re interested in. Given your height you’d make a great guard though,” Jennifer began. I stared blankly back at her.

“… You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?”

“Um… No?” I responded hesitantly. She giggled, rolling her eyes, “Okay, then. We’ll start with the basic rules, and get you some court time tomorrow. Maybe we can get some two on two going with Chelsea before cheer practice.”

“Hey, Ally, why don’t you go out for basketball this year?” I asked, glancing Allison’s direction. She practically choked on her pizza, washing it down with a quick sip from her cola before answering.

“No way. Jen’s the athletic one, Nikki’s the dark one, and you’re the cute one. That just leaves me as the smart one.” She chided playfully, trying to recover from the apparent shock of my sudden question.

I rolled my shoulders, “You’re way more athletic than me. Besides, I see Jen at Kenpo practice courtesy of Josh, and Nikki and I have Saturday nights when we’re not having a sleepover. It’d be fun to have something you and I could work on together too, other than doing homework together.”

Allison chewed slowly on a piece of stuffed-crust as she considered my words, then smiled brightly. “I guess I can’t argue with that logic. Okay, I’ll come practice with you guys tomorrow then we can go from there.”

“Great!” Jennifer and I exclaimed in unison, causing us all, even Carol, to start giggling.

Things finally seemed to be looking up again. Jason and his little buddy couldn’t touch me without being slapped with assault charges, Mom’s health was improving daily, I had a wonderful girlfriend, and found myself surrounded by supportive and loving friends and family.

As I finished off the last of my pepperoni-and-peppers-laden slice, Carol’s cell phone started ringing. She retrieved the sleek silver phone from her canvas purse, flipped it open, and answered.

“Hi Kelly,” she paused, and her face fell. She turned to look at me as she listened. “Yes, of course,” she spoke more softly now. “What happened? Well do they know what caused it?”

By now, Nicole had wrapped my hand in both of hers. Everyone at the table shared the same worried expression. I think we all suspected the same thing. Finally, Carol closed her phone and sighed.

“Robin, I don’t want you to worry, but your mother was rushed to the hospital this afternoon.”

I could feel the blood drain from my face, even as Nicole wrapped me in a hug. I stared silently, dumbfounded.

“What happened? Is she okay?” I asked in rapid succession, trying to grasp the situation.

“Margie found her lying on the sofa unconscious, and couldn’t wake her. Kelly says her blood pressure was dangerously low so they’re going to run some tests. In the meantime you’re welcome to stay with us tonight if you don’t feel comfortable at your house.”

I nodded, “Thank you Carol. Um… Would it be alright if we went to see her?”

She gave me a sympathetic smile and nodded. I should have been the first to get up, but surprisingly Nicole, Jennifer, and Allison had already stood, staring at me expectantly. I pushed my chair back and rose, immediately enveloped in a group hug.

“I love you guys so much. You don’t have to go if you don’t want, though.”

“Of course we’re going,” Jennifer responded immediately, Allison and Nicole nodding their agreement. I smiled a little and nodded, quietly burying myself between Nicole and Allison as we walked out to Carol’s SUV. On the way to the hospital, I didn’t let go of them once. I needed them to keep me from breaking down, and even then keeping my emotions in check was a hard fight. When we reached the hospital, Nicole gently took my hand to help me out of the car.

“Sorry,” I began, as I hugged her tightly, “It’s just…”

“It’s okay. You almost lost her once. I’d feel the same way if it was my adopted mom.” She smiled, kissing my forehead. “C’mon, let’s go see if she’s awake, okay?”

I nodded quietly, looping my arm with hers as I held her hand tightly, letting the girls lead me inside. The last time something like this happened, I was home alone. I had to put on two disguises: the first being Robert, and the second being ‘brave’, but at least this time I didn’t have to be either, and I wasn’t alone. I just hoped Mom was okay.

~* Sewing Seeds *~ Allison laughed as she nodded, “She defeated me with logic. She and Jen hang out before and after Kenpo, and she’s dating Nikki, so she reasoned that basketball would be great for us to have some time together too. Plus I’ve been thinking about going out for some kind of sport. I think it’d be fun.” “Not to mention having two people in the locker room to make sure nobody says anything about me changing separately,” I offered with a smile. “Not like I’d look or even care really, but until I have my surgery I don’t feel comfortable changing in front of other girls, so it’s better this way.” I sighed softly, only realizing afterwards that I had just admitted for the first time that yes, I did want to have surgery done. Kelly gave me a surprised look, reaching over to squeeze my hand. “Does your mom know you want to have it done?”

---

“Hi baby,” Mom’s loving tone as we entered her hospital room put me immediately at ease. Up until now I had managed not to cry, but seeing her in a hospital bed with all those monitors hooked up to her again was just too much to bear. I sprinted across the room, not even taking notice that this was both a semi-private room or that the other woman in the next bed quietly watched the spectacle.

I threw my arms around her and buried myself in her shoulder, sobbing, “Mom I was so worried!” I cried softly. “I just knew something bad happened to you again. Are you okay?”

She smiled as she hugged me tightly to her, kissing the top of my head. “It’s okay sweetheart, I’m okay now. My blood pressure was too low so they’ve given me some medication intravenously. I have to stay off my feet until tomorrow, but they’re keeping me overnight while they wait to see what caused the sudden drop anyway.”

I looked up at her, smiling meekly as Nicole, Allison and Jennifer stepped closer. She smiled softly at them, “You all came too?” She glanced at Carol, who offered a sheepish smile.

“I took the girls out for pizza to celebrate. We’d just finished up when Kelly called.”

Jennifer added, “Robin tried to tell us we didn’t have to come, but,”

Allison moved to the other side of the bed to hug Mom, continuing Jennifer’s thought even as Nicole stopped next to me, “We’re her friends, and you’re her mom. Wild dogs couldn’t keep us away.” She grinned.

Tears slowly rolled down Mom’s cheeks. “You girls…”

The other woman, about mid-thirties and a honey blonde with dark roots, smiled warmly as she finally broke her silence. “You have an amazing daughter, if you don’t mind my saying. I wish my son could find a girl like her to straighten him out.”

I turned back, blushing a little as I smiled, “Thank you. I’m seeing someone, but that still means a lot to me.”

Nicole glanced over, doing a double-take. She chewed the inside of her lip for a long moment. “Mrs. Beaumont? What… are you doing here?”

Mrs. Beaumont?! Oh crap.

She smiled weakly, “Hello Nicole. … I’m sorry for the trouble Jason caused you and your friends Friday,” she responded, dodging the question rather artfully. “I promise he’s had a very stern talking to. He’s supposed to be in in-school suspension, but he’s going to live with his father awhile since I’m stuck in here after today.”

For my part, I just stared awkwardly, glancing between the two mothers and wondering if I should tell her my name. I resolved to let it rest for now. Both women obviously needed to rest, and my speaking up could only agitate their respective conditions. Instead, I leaned over to give my mother a soft kiss on her cheek, squeezing her tightly.

“I love you Momma. We’re going to head back to Ally’s and work on our homework so you and Mrs. Beaumont can get some rest without us getting in the doctors’ way.” I tried to sound more grown-up than I felt at that moment. The truth was I wanted to curl up in the corner and cry like a little girl.

She smiled softly at me as she squeezed my hand, “Alright sweetheart. Try not to worry about me too much, alright? I’m really okay. I laid down earlier, feeling light-headed, but I couldn’t have been out more than half an hour before Margie found me, so I should be just fine.”

“Yeah, but you know what they say. Doctors make the worst patients,” I teased. True, she was just a nurse, but I didn’t want her thinking she was better than she might actually be. Or perhaps I just worried too much.

She stifled a small giggle and smiled as we turned to leave. I hesitated, walking over to Mrs. Beaumont’s bed. I had absolutely no idea what I was thinking at this point. She just seemed so weak and helpless, and not knowing the nature of her condition, I couldn’t know how long she’d been in here, or even if my getting Jason in trouble led to her being here. She watched me curiously as I stood there silent, finally leaning forward and wrapping her in a warm hug. “I hope you feel better soon. And… I’m sorry about your son.”

She smiled gently as she returned the hug. I thought I saw a stray tear as I turned to leave, and Carol seemed to notice it as well. As we neared the elevator she wrapped her arm around me. “You are an absolutely amazing young woman, Robin,” she spoke softly. I blushed a little as I looked up at her.

“I just felt guilty. Her son’s an ass, and she’s stuck here in the hospital, possibly because of him picking a fight with me, for all I know. I can’t blame her for Jason’s actions.”

Nicole laid her head on my shoulder and gave a whimsical sigh, “Seriously, you’re way more forgiving than I’d have been. She’s not exactly mother of the year material. Still, maybe seeing who Jason attacked, once she figures it out anyway, she’ll wise up and get some help for both of ‘em.”

Though we offered for Jennifer and Nicole to stay over after we slew the mighty homework monster, Jennifer’s grandfather was flying in for a brief visit soon so she had to help prepare for that, on top of Josh’s belt test that night. Nicole wanted to stay, but her mother reminded her that she had school the next day, so it ended just being Allison and me.

We decided to make it fun though. Autumn’s breezy, chill nights hadn’t quite made their presence felt yet, but the August heat had given way to September’s sweet embrace, making for an excellent camping excursion. We just needed our guest of honor!

As we stood in the kitchen taking stock of our gear, Kelly came through. She had only just gotten home from work, still wearing a lab coat over her scrubs. She glanced at our gear, then back at us, and grinned.

“Want to come with us?” Allison offered.

I added quickly, just as we’d rehearsed,“Yeah, Ally told me you guys used to go camping all the time. We’re going to hike down to the stream and camp there tonight. You’re more than welcome.”

“I don’t know,” Kelly started to protest.

“We’d feel safer with you there!” Allison pleaded.

Kelly chuckled to herself, relenting. “Oh, alright.” Of course, she knew we felt completely safe on our own, but neither Allison nor I had spent any great amount of bonding time with her, where I’d spent the entire summer with my big sister Margie. “Let me just get out of these things and into something more comfortable. Would one of you be a dear and get my sleeping bag?”

Allison grinned impishly, “Already got it.”

Kelly laughed, “Ohh, you’re so devious. I should’ve known this was a setup!”

“Of course. I am YOUR sister after all,” Allison winked playfully. I couldn’t help giggling at the sisterly exchange. Margie and I had shared many such moments since becoming Robin. I found myself thinking fondly on the many years’ worth of such moments I’d have not just with Margie, but with Kelly now too thanks to my friendship with Allison.

After about five minutes Kelly returned to us dressed as I’d never seen her before. She wore a pair of heavy jeans and faded hiking boots, with a white T-shirt under a loose, heavy flannel shirt. The matching red ribbon holding her ponytail up added a much needed, in my opinion, touch of girliness to the ensemble. She approached and wrapped us both in a hug.

“Thanks girls. You don’t know how much I need this.”

“Of course we do,” I offered, leaning into her hug. “You and Ally don’t get to spend enough time together, but she wouldn’t agree to this unless I came too.” I grinned. She shot Allison a soft smile, kissing her sister’s forehead before we gathered our things and set out toward the old nature trail.

“You realize,” she commented, as we passed a fallen, dead tree that had still been standing the last time we came here not a few weeks prior, “that we’re going to have to be up early to get you two back home so you can get ready for school tomorrow.”

“My new phone has an alarm function,” I responded cheerfully.

“Ooh, I didn’t think of that,” Allison chimed with a giggle. “Nikki’s right. You really do think of everything.”

“Well, not everything,” I reasoned, “But what I don’t think of, someone else always seems to.”

We arrived at the stream and began setting up camp. While Kelly worked on putting up the three person dome tent, Allison took stock of the surroundings, making sure no new snakes had taken up residence since our last visit. I, on the other hand, went searching for firewood and tinder. By the time I returned, our campsite had been set up, a ring of river stones and a small pit at the center just waiting for me to bring the wood.

“Oh, no; I forgot matches!” Allison frumped as I began setting the wood in place. Kelly laughed, “I thought you two were supposed to be girl scouts? Can’t you rub two sticks together?”

“Or I could shoot one of our emergency flares into the kindling,” I joked, then added, “Actually I’ve got it covered. I burned myself enough learning to start a fire at camp.”

Kelly reached into her pocket, producing a fresh book of matches, “Or you can use these?” She knelt, offering them to me with a sly grin, causing Allison and I to both laugh.

“See what I mean? Someone always remembers something.” I accepted the matches, breaking one off from its book and striking it. After a few seconds the dry tinder I’d collected flared to life. Before long we had a roaring fire over which to cook the can of pork and beans we so studiously absconded with from the Jones’ pantry.

As the sun slowly began its descent beyond the horizon I unfurled my sleeping bag, doubling it over and using it to sit by the fire. Kelly had washed some branches in the river, which Allison sharpened with her multi-tool, further sterilizing by blackening them in the fire, so we could roast marshmallows.

“How are you holding up?” Kelly finally broke the serene silence that had settled over our campsite. A frog perched on a nearby rock and began singing.

“I’m okay,” I offered honestly. “It was so hard seeing Mom in that bed like that… So many bad memories, but I can’t help kind of feeling bad for her roommate too. Do you know what’s wrong with her?”

Kelly tilted her head in thought, “I can’t say I do. I don’t have access to hospital charts anymore. She didn’t say anything about it?”

Allison piped up, despite the mouthful of gooey roasted marshmallow. I had to giggle a little. “Nikki asked, but she completely dodged the question. She apologized on Jason’s behalf at least.”

“Wait, what?” Allison managed to get her sister’s undivided attention. She swallowed her molten foodstuff, then continued.

“It’s Mrs. Beaumont, Jason Beaumont’s mom.”

“Seriously? That’s a messed up coincidence.”

“I know right? At least Jason’s not going to be around for awhile. She’s sending him off to stay with his dad while she’s stuck in the hospital, so Robin’s got a reprieve.”

“That’s a relief. Maybe some time away will let the little idiot cool his heels. So how’s school going?”

I grinned cheerfully, “I talked Ally into trying out for basketball with me, and the school board says I can play too!”

“That’s great! I knew they couldn’t hold you back once they actually evaluated how stupid they were being!” She paused, glancing at Allison. “Wait, did she just say you’re trying out too?”

Allison laughed as she nodded, “She defeated me with logic. She and Jen hang out before and after Kenpo, and she’s dating Nikki, so she reasoned that basketball would be great for us to have some time together too. Plus I’ve been thinking about going out for some kind of sport. I think it’d be fun.”

“Not to mention having two people in the locker room to make sure nobody says anything about me changing separately,” I offered with a smile. “Not like I’d look or even care really, but until I have my surgery I don’t feel comfortable changing in front of other girls, so it’s better this way.” I sighed softly, only realizing afterwards that I had just admitted for the first time that yes, I did want to have surgery done.

Kelly gave me a surprised look, reaching over to squeeze my hand. “Does your mom know you want to have it done?”

I shook my head. “No. Nobody does. I’ve been thinking about it for the last couple of weeks though, trying to remember the exact point where I went from being terrified of the idea to… just wanting to get it over with and behind me. The school board meeting, with everyone talking about it, didn’t help things.”

Allison stayed quiet, letting Kelly field this topic on her own as she poked another pillowy sugar-snack into the roaring flames. Kelly stood and walked the short couple of steps between us. She sat down again and wrapped me in a tight hug. I leaned my head on her shoulder, breathing a stuttered sigh. She glanced down at me with a frown. “Robin, it’s okay, really. I waited until I was eighteen to have it done, but I wanted it long before that, so I understand where you’re coming from.”

Allison quietly stood and walked around to the other side, embracing me from there as she offered me her freshly-roasted marshmallow. I smiled wryly as I broke off a piece to chew, letting her keep the rest. “I can’t offer any advice on this, but I just want you to know I’ll support you completely.”

I smiled as I let go of Kelly to hug Allison. “Thanks, Ally. I know you’ve got my back. I’m just… I want to get it done, but there’s so much that could go wrong that I’m so scared.”

Kelly responded this time as she poked the fire, stirring a few stray embers that threatened to fly loose in the light evening breeze. “There are never any guarantees in life, except one. You have to choose which set of regrets you want to live with. Do you want to regret knowing that you’ll never be able to go back to being male again physically, or do you want to regret never becoming wholly female?”

I wrinkled my nose. “How is that first one a regret?”

Kelly giggled a little, offering softly as she hugged me again, “Then it sounds like you’ve already made up your mind. You have to understand though, that not only is this a serious medical procedure, it takes weeks to recover even if things go perfectly. You’re looking at least two months, maybe more depending on the surgical technique used.”

“I guess that rules out becoming a girl for Christmas,” I tried to joke, but the truth was I felt pretty down.

Kelly nodded, “Well, you’re already a girl. You always have been, but yes, I’m sorry to say one week off from school’s not even scratching the surface of enough time. Is there any reason you have to have it done before you’re eighteen, though?”

I shook my head. “Not really. It’s not like Nikki and I want to … y’know…” I blushed intensely. Allison did too, though Kelly just smiled an understanding sort of smile as she nodded. “Summer’s the only other option, and I’d have to do it after Girl Scout camp, and I wouldn’t be able to go for more than one session and still get into cheer camp, and have time to recover in-between.”

“Ouch; I definitely wouldn’t advice cheer camp unless it’s just before school starts back. Speaking from experience, you’re going to be VERY sore if you try and do anything too strenuous, too soon.”

“I guess that makes sense. I’ll just have to continue being careful. Coach Wilson told me she and Coach Greer were working on a way for me to change privately at Away games when I make the team, so it’s not like even that’s a big part of the decision.”

“Just remember, your plumbing’s a little different, but it’s like we keep telling you, it’s what’s between your ears that counts.”

I smiled at that. She was right. They were both right. It’s not like having surgery would magically change who I was. People had been mistaking me for a girl even before I started taking hormones and presenting as my true self.

We stayed up and talked for another hour and a half before finally calling it a night and crawled into the tent after putting out our campfire. Kelly threw her sleeping bag in on the right, leaving Allison and I sleeping facing each other due to our both being different forms of side-sleepers. It felt kind of awkward at first, until she leaned over and hugged me goodnight. Somehow that made it all better.

The next morning, we woke just before sunrise, breaking down our camp and beginning the hike back. I couldn’t help feeling a lot better this morning, knowing my best friend and her awesome, supportive sister knew what had been on my mind for quite awhile now, and more importantly, some resolution. I’d still have to talk to Doctor Ketz about it next time I saw her, though.

Nicole met us as we approached the Jones’ back yard, dressed as beautifully as she had the previous day, wearing a body stocking under a sleeveless black knee-length A-line dress and heavy black stiletto boots. She started sprinting, no small feat in those shoes, and wrapped me in a hug the moment we met.

“You nut. You should’ve told me you were going camping. I would’ve waited to come over a bit later!” She laughed, causing me to giggle. “It was sort of impromptu, but a lot of fun. I need a shower so bad though.”

“Mind if I walk you home then? Mom dropped me off so I could check on you before school, so I’m just going to catch a ride with you guys anyway.”

“Sure. You can help me pick out something to wear,” I offered in return. I hugged Kelly and Allison and thanked them for last night’s talk, eliciting a funny glance from Nicole. As we stepped into my house, she finally asked.

“So what’d you guys talk about last night?”

I blushed a little. I didn’t want to keep it a secret from her, but it was a topic I didn’t exactly feel comfortable admitting to her for not wanting to make her feel uneasy. “It’s … Well,” I started, as I moved up the stairs, “It’s about my condition. I talked to Kelly last night about having surgery.”

Nicole giggled, “Already? Wow. That’s awesome.”

“Well, not exactly. She said recovery could take weeks, so I probably have to put it off until I’m eighteen. I so want to get it done now though, but I can’t miss school because of it, and if I have it done over Christmas break, I’d have to miss like the first month of school recovering. Plus I’d have to avoid any strenuous activity for awhile, so that also means no Girl Scouts, no cheer camps-“

“No fun,” Nicole quipped, squeezing my hand.

She stepped up and slipped her arms around me from behind, kissing the exposed, sweat-glistened nape of my neck. She spoke softly as she nuzzled my shoulder, “I wish I could do something…”

I smiled as I turned around to hug her. The genuinely sad expression in her eyes told me without question how genuinely badly she felt. “It’s okay. It means a lot to me that you feel that way though. It’s just been hard for me sometimes, knowing I’m not really a girl physically. I want to just get it done so I can be your girlfriend for real.”

She blinked, her expression shifting from sadness to utter confusion. After a moment with her flawless plum lips parted and no sound escaping, she shook her head, speaking defiantly. “Robin, you ARE my girlfriend. I don’t care that you have the wrong parts. I mean, it’s not like I’m ready for that kind of relationship with anyone, anyway. I love you so much, but I just… I can’t yet Maybe when we’re older….” Tears rolled down her cheeks as she buried herself in my shoulder. I held her tightly close.

“Nikki, Nikki! It’s okay! I didn’t mean it like that.” I kissed her cheek and held her tightly. I knew exactly what she meant by that. “I feel the same way. It’s like our parents said — we’re only fifteen. I’m definitely not ready for a serious relationship yet, let alone something ‘more’. I’m happy with where we are now, and I know you are as well. I only wish I could go back and stop what happened to you. That’s the ONLY thing I’d change.”

She smiled a little at that, sniffling as she dabbed at her tear ducts with the tip of her finger. “Robin, I love you so much. Thank you,” she whispered, kissing me squarely on the tip of my nose. I had to laugh at that. I grabbed her hand, dragging her over to help me pick out what I should wear today.

“Seriously? You think I should wear this?” I asked surprised, as I held up the red spaghetti strap top with the pink T-shirt combination I fell in love with over the summer.

Nicole giggled, belying the emotional weight of our conversation moments ago. I think both of us just needed an emotional release, but if we stayed on that topic much longer we’d all be late for school. “Yes! I love you in that! It looks so cute on you.”

“It doesn’t look too girly does it?”

“Robin, you’re not just a girl. You’re a girly-girl. You might as well look girly. But no, it doesn’t look too girly on you. Consider who’s saying that now.” She grinned. I laughed.

“Fair enough. Now, on to jeans…”

She followed me out of my bedroom, but stopped outside the bathroom, giving me an impish smile as I turned back to her. She leaned forward for a quick hug, giggling. “Sorry. I’m just messing with you. Go get your shower while I see if Margie’s heard anything about your mom, ‘kay?”

She turned and bounded back down the hall, only slowing down as she hit the stairs, while I meanwhile turned to step into the bathroom to take my shower. I knew I wouldn’t have time for a forty-five minute shower, so I settled on washing my hair and doing my thinking while it dried instead.

After wrapping my hair in a towel and getting dressed, I stepped back into my bedroom to work on my makeup. A colorful page caught my attention, and I suddenly realized I’d forgotten to hide my comic book stash. I reached over to grab both issues that had been left out, pausing to stare at the top one. It was the first issue of “Aria and Raven Wing” that I’d bought, and largely because on the front cover, the villainous Raven Wing had been featured prominently. I found it intriguing that she bore such a striking resemblance to Nicole that I started reading, and had now purchased almost every issue I could find in used book stores over the summer.

The popular interpretation was that Aria Blade, a blonde-haired heroine with sonic abilities and Raven Wing, a powerful sorceress who, after an abusive childhood turned to dark magic to sew her vengeance on the world, were actually star-crossed lovers. It’s true Raven flirted with Aria during some of their epic battles, and some off-scenes showed Aria admitting she was terrified of the notion that RW ‘must be planning something sinister’ by all the playful banter. Maybe she was just trying to get her attention? The next issue came out a few days ago, but I’d still have to see if I could afford it, or wait until the price came down a little before I could find out more.

For now, I carefully slid the graphic masterpieces into my vanity’s bottom drawer, covering them with a notebook. It wasn’t so much shame of reading comic books, as much as that in my mind it was kind of a boyish thing. No sooner had I sat up again, than Nicole’s reflection appeared in my vanity mirror. She placed her hands on my shoulders. Before I knew what was happening, she’d worked her way down my shoulders, her fingers moving in light, gentle circles and causing my tension to completely melt away. I paused in my makeup-application, tilting my head back and closing my eyes. “God I needed that.”

“You’re really tense. It’s not because of what we talked about is it?”

“Not at all. I was actually a lot worse after the school board meeting, and then having to go to the hospital,” I paused, smiling a little, “But camping helped a lot.” Of course, nearly getting caught, regardless how cute the gothic dark sorceress on the cover was, didn’t help!

“Oh hey, Margie says your mom can come home today. They’re still not quite sure why her BP bottomed out so they’re going to bring her back in for some more tests this afternoon, but she responded so well to the meds that they’re going to go ahead and let her come back home for now so she can rest in a more comfortable environment, or something.”

“That’s great!” I exclaimed as I opened a new tube of lip gloss, applying a light coat. The shade and color were darker than I normally used, but I wanted to try and see how the darker shade worked with my complexion and outfit. I smacked my lips and stood, turning to give Nicole a playful pucker

She giggled. “Don’t tempt me.” She grinned, giving me a squeeze. It was her way of letting me know she still didn’t feel comfortable after her earlier outburst, and I immediately hugged her back.

“It’s okay, Nikki. Really. You never, ever have to do anything with me you feel uneasy about, especially after how fast our relationship kind of took off. I’m not going to leave you.”

She smiled broadly at that, “And I’m not going anywhere either. I just need time. This is so complicated. With Jason I knew where I stood, and that was very much in the ‘Ain’t gonna happen boyo!’ territory. With you, I…” Her alabaster skin turned a few shades redder, causing me to giggle despite trying not to.

I kissed her cheek. “I know. Come on, let’s go get some breakfast.”

~* Love is in the Air *~ “Sensei Rogers, would you like to stay for dinner?” My mother’s face brightened, and turned just a shade redder at my sudden offer. He smiled, but shook his head. “I really shouldn’t impose.” “Oh, you wouldn’t impose,” Margie chimed in from the doorway. “Robin’s a phenomenal cook. I’m sure she could whip up something absolutely magical.” She grinned. Apparently she had had the same idea I did. There are few things in life worse than two sisters plotting against you.

---

Author's Note
Just a heads-up everyone, you might want to bring a box of tissues because the ending for this installment is sugar-loaded, seriously pushing the outer boundaries of Sweet/Sentimental. You have been warned! ;-)

Love and hugs,
~Zoe T.

---

Nicole seemed vaguely distracted as she stood at her locker. Her hand occasionally shifted, but from my vantage point, I couldn’t yet see what held her attention so strongly. I grinned at Allison, who promptly covered her mouth to stop the imminent giggle as she realized what I had in mind. I quietly crept up behind Nicole, goosing her sides. The ENTIRE hallway grew silent as she spun around, and everyone held their collective breath just waiting to see what ‘Valley Girl’ got herself into this time.

Nicole had practically squealed as she spun around to glare at whomever had just encroached on her personal space. Her cheeks began to shift through hues of red against her flawless alabaster skin. Her plum-painted lips pursed briefly, shifting to a grin as she threw her arms around me and laughed.

“You! You scared the crap outta me!” Her southern twang came through causing her to blush even more.

The hallway returned to normal as I hugged her back, though a few stray giggles followed as we shared a quick kiss, shielded from an approaching teacher by her locker door. I laughed.

“Sorry. I’ve been hanging around you and Ally too long. Is everything okay though? You seemed pretty distracted.”

Nicole quickly spun back, slamming her locker closed, then turned back to me with a cheerful smile, reshouldering her purse. “What? No, I was just glancing over my uh… notes for… Algebra! So anyway,” she promptly changed the subject, “How was gym? BTW, nominations for Homecoming are being put forward. Rumor is someone already nominated you for Sophomore Maid.” She giggled, even as I balked.

“Please tell me it wasn’t you?”

She laughed. “How do you think I found out? I tried, but your name was already up there.”

Allison and I filled her in on the mundane goings-on at the school as we walked to the cafeteria As I stepped around the blind corner though, I came face-to-back with the one person I had hoped to avoid almost as much as Jason. The boy who jumped me last Friday glanced over his shoulder and scowled at the three of us. I stood my ground, but offered a small smile.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t see you because of the blind corner.” I smiled wryly as I stepped back.

He continued to scowl, but glancing between the three of us, he apparently decided not to press his luck a second time and turned to walk away. I exhaled slowly as Allison and Nicole wrapped me in a much-needed hug, and after getting our trays, we made a bee-line over to our usual table. Jennifer, Chelsea, and a new girl I didn’t recognize had already seated themselves.

The new girl could be Chelsea’s Latin twin. They shared approximately the same height and build, just that the other girl’s skin resembled Jennifer’s more, a rich, light olive. She smiled timidly as we sat.

“Hey girls,” Chelsea began, motioning to our new arrival with a warm smile, “This is Maria. She’s a foreign exchange student from Guadalajara,” she deferred to the girl.

Maria spoke with soft intonations that, combined with her accent, would have given me definite pause if not for my undying attraction to Nicole. I still had to admit, she was kind of cute. If she didn’t have a boyfriend yet, we would definitely have to protect her from the losers like Jason.

“Es muy--,” she cut herself off, clearing her throat. “I mean, it’s nice to meet you. … Sorry, I slip between languages when I’m nervous. The worst is when I’m singing though, just before I go on-stage, without my breathing exercises I’d like, forget everything.”

I extended my hand across the table. She stared at it at first, apparently unable to decide whether the offer of friendship was genuine or not, but she finally accepted it when I responded.

“It’s nice to meet you Maria. I’m Robin, this is my girlfriend Nicole,” I motioned to Nicole, causing her to brighten a little, “And this is my best friend Allison. And I’m guessing you already know Jen, my other best friend.” Jennifer nodded with a grin, even as I asked a moment later, “Oh, hey, do you sing professionally?”

“Oh no, nothing like that; my friends and I had an all-girl acapella thing going for awhile that we’d do for talent shows and stuff.”

“Oh, cool. Nikki plays bass and Allison dabbles in guitar, so I was just curious. I can barely play the radio.” I teased, causing her to crack a smile as she rolled her eyes.

After pleasantries were exchanged, and we’d begun to eat away at our meals, comfortable silence fell over the table. I glanced between our growing group briefly, then cleared my throat. “So, Maria, do you play football back home?”

She stopped chewing and stared at me with surprise. After a moment, she laughed. “I’ve had a dozen people ask me if I play ‘soccer’,” she emphasized the word with distaste, “today, but you’re the first to actually get it right. But to answer your question yes, I do play a bit actually. I was thinking about going out for basketball or volleyball while I’m here though. I’ll be here through the school year then probably have to return home for the summer, but I managed to convince mi Papa to come here for Christmas, if not Mama too.”

“That’s great! I managed to convince Ally to try out for basketball with me too. But don’t worry; neither of us are cheerleaders.” I teased, eliciting an outright belly laugh from Nicole, which caused Allison, Jennifer, and even Chelsea to start laughing. Maria stifled a shy giggle as she shook her head.

“You guys love to laugh don’t you? It’s kind of refreshing though. I think I’m going to start hanging out with you if that’s alright?”

Nicole beamed, “Of course! I have to warn you though; I’m not as scary as I look. I USED to be, but Robin’s kind of given me reason to not be a grouchy, depressed, angsty jerk anymore.” She grinned. Maria slooooowly looked between the two of us.

“Wait, you mean … so you’re… Ooohhhh! Now I get that ‘girlfriend’ line. At first I thought I had just missed some American slang.”

I smiled wryly as I nodded. “Sorry, it kind of slipped. We’re trying to keep things sort of low key, and failing miserably.”

Chelsea shrugged, “Robin, you have a good heart. Anybody who messes with you has like, twenty people ready to beat the crap out of them, and I’ll be at the head of that line. Besides, you and Nikki are way cuter than she and Jason ever were.” She paused, as though something had just hit her. “Hey, did you say you’re trying out? So, like, I mean, you’re okay now?”

I shook my head, “I still have my condition to think about, but I spoke with the school board and they’ve cleared me to play. I’m sorry I couldn’t explain any more about what was going on with that. It’s just some really private stuff. But Coach Wilson says if I make the team, that she can work something out: Coach Greer too, if I try out for cheer squad next year.”

She nodded silently as she digested that then finally smiled, “Awesome. The offer stands on watching your back in the locker room. And now if Ally and Maria get on the team too, then you’ll have the three of us to look out for you. I doubt it’ll be a problem though. We’ve got some great girls from last year trying out, but we’re losing a few too, so it’s not like you guys getting on the team will create any bad blood or anything.” During the whole exchange, Maria sat silently, an utterly dazed look on her face. I offered her an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry, Maria. Basically the short version is that for reasons I’m not allowed to disclose they were going to bar me from participating in any sports, which was fine with me because I didn’t care about sports before.”

Nicole started giggling as she burst in, “Yeah, but that was before she ever tried any. Coach Wilson called her up on day one, asked her if she ever played basketball. When she said ‘no’, Coach gave her the ball and told her to try to shoot a free throw, and that ‘no one ever gets it on the first try’, right?”

Maria nodded as Nicole continued. “Right, so Robin steps up to the free-throw line, Coach tells her how to aim, bend her knees and stuff, then she shoots: first time, off the backboard, RIGHT into the basket. Coach thought she was hustling her. It was priceless!”

By now the entire table had burst into another round of giggles. Of course, as we calmed down again, realization dawned on Maria’s face. There was an elephant at the lunch table, to turn a phrase. She tilted her head toward me.

“Okay, I’m sorry, but I just cannot wrap my brain around the idea that the school would bar you from sports. You didn’t do drugs or something did you?”

I shook my head quickly. “No no, nothing like that.”

“Actually, she kept me FROM doing drugs,” Nicole chimed in with a cheeky smile as she leaned over to put her head on my shoulder. I giggled a little as I put an arm around her and let my fingers glide over her shoulder slowly.

“Yeah, it’s all related to my medical condition. I can’t change or shower with the other girls, and it’s also why the school board didn’t want me in sports initially, but that’s all I’m really allowed to say. The important thing is I can play now. Well, I can TRY to play. Jen, Ally and I were going to try and get someone else for two-on-two after school.”

“Actually,” Jennifer interrupted, “What about you two? Chels and I have cheer practice at four, but we could team up and work with you guys until then.”

“I thought you’d never ask. Chelsea’s familia is hosting me, so we already cleared some time for practice this afternoon with her ma–I mean, her mom.”

“Yeah, she was supposed to be here before school started, but something happened with the computers they keep these records on,” Chelsea began. Maria laughed.

“Aya, yes!” Maria laughed as she put down her fork. She was nothing if not animated once we got passed that initial shyness, her hands moving as she spoke. “Some idiota not so brightly plugged his virus-loaded MP3 player in to charge the thing and nature took its course. I hear he’s no longer working there. But yeah, I spent my first week in school back home meeting teachers I wouldn’t see again until next year. Didn’t miss anything did I?”

Nicole giggled. I shot her a glance, causing Maria to stare at us. I heaved a sigh. “I have a new nickname around the school — ‘Valley girl’. It’s always “Valley Girl kicked Jason’s butt!’ or ‘Did you hear? Valley Girl’s going out for cheerleading!’. It is like, so annoying. I’m not gossip-worthy,” I pouted.

“Oh sure you are; outgoing, friendly, and with a nice right hook according to rumors.” She beamed; Allison covered her mouth to fight a giggle. “Only teasing. So I guess I’ll see you guys this afternoon?”

Allison cheerfully responded, “Yeah, I mean if you and Chelsea are up for it. I’m a little out of practice, and Robin’s never played before, but Jen and I gave her a primer on the rules yesterday.”

Chelsea grinned, “Totally. Oh, Robin, sweetheart?” she asked sweetly, “If you’re serious about cheer tryouts next year, Jen and I can help. You really do have a great look. I think the fact you never stopped smiling despite your…” she hesitated, biting her lip. I laughed.

“Horrible?”

“… Awkward tryouts speaks volumes. Anyway, I still need to show Maria around some more before the next bell. We’ll see you guys this afternoon!”

Maria smiled as she stood. She stared at me another moment then turned to follow Chelsea. The last time I saw someone with that expression was just before I told Rachel the truth back at Girl Scout camp. I’d already said too much about my condition, but she wouldn’t rest until she had the truth. I breathed an uneasy sigh as I returned to my battered-dipped fish.

“Well, she seems nice,” Allison offered as she finished off the last of her mac n’ cheese. Jennifer nodded, picking at her green beans.

“Yeah, she’s really sweet. Kind of like Nikki but without the practical joke streak, or the macabre fashion sense.” Nicole stuck her tongue out at Jennifer and laughed.

“Oh, pfft. But yeah, I like her. She’s going to fit in well I think. So are we going over to Ally’s tomorrow night? I’d ask about tonight but you guys are going to be exhausted from practice, and I’d kind of like to spend some quality time with my folks tonight, too.”

I had to smile at that. “Ditto. After that scare yesterday I want to spend some time with my mom too. This way we can see if Maria and Chelsea have plans and invite them over too.”

“Hey, that’d be great!” Allison practically squealed. “I miss hanging out with Chels, plus if we make the team we can go out and celebrate or something.”

The last bell for the day finally rang later that afternoon, releasing us for the day, and as promised we all walked over to the gym together, save Nicole, who promised to come over tomorrow morning to check in on Mom and me. Since Allison and I both needed the practice, and Chelsea and Maria had planned to practice together as well, Jennifer and Chelsea decided to combine their talents to help the three of us.

I stepped into my purple gym shorts, having already put on a black sports bra that showed just a little bit under my white t-shirt, and as I sat on the couch in the coaches’ office, lacing up my basketball shoes, someone knocked at the door. I glanced up and called out “It’s safe!” only to remember a moment after that I’d locked it behind me. I got up, one foot still missing a shoe and the other only half-laced, and hobbled over to the door to open it.

Maria waited on the other side. She’d washed off all her makeup and now stood dressed in plain gray gym shorts and a t-shirt, with her wavy chestnut hair pinned back into a tight bun. She smiled, laughing to herself as she realized my shoeless status.

“I’m sorry,” she offered, as I returned to the couch. “Chelsea asked me to come see if you were ready yet.” She peeked around the corner of the door, watching me sit. I motioned her over then bent down to continue tying the laces.

“Yes, almost. I just need to find something to pull my hair back.”

“So, I know it isn’t any of my business, but I was hoping you might say more in private about your … um… condition?” I glanced up at her and frowned, tying a secure knot in my shoelaces. I stood, trying to offer a disarming smile.

“I’m sorry. It’s just really personal. If word got out, it could put me in serious danger.”

She frowned. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was that serious. Is there anything I can do?”

I smiled as I gave her a friendly hug then began digging through my gym bag for a scrunchie. “Just be my friend, and watch my back. I already have people who hate me because I’m new. They think I’m a threat to their social pecking order when the truth is, I just want to get through high school and have fun. I had enough of being bullied at my old school to last a lifetime.”

She nodded. “It’s okay. My best friend likes girls too. I remember the crap she went through over it, and her Papa was not happy either. I don’t understand why people feel threatened by that,” she began, turning to follow me back out. “I mean, if you like girls, you like girls. It’s not as though you’re just magically gonna like a guy for being a jerk right?”

“Yeah, exactly. And on the girls’ side of things, sure, I care about Nikki. I love everything about her, but it’s not like I’m constantly leering at every girl I pass, or that I’d be like, watching people undress if I didn’t have my condition to think about.”

“That’s okay. I can do enough leering for both of us if you want?” she teased. I paused to stare at her, causing her to crack up giggling. “It was a joke.”

I shook my head, giggling. “You and Nikki are going to get along great.”

As we stepped out onto the court we found quite a few people had the same idea we did. Chelsea stood under an empty net, however, and flagged us over. Allison met us halfway, handing me the ball while smiling cordially at Maria. “You two ready?”

Maria and I nodded in unison, and the schooling began. After about fifteen minutes, I began to get the hang of it though. Chelsea and Jennifer swapped out constantly on who instructed and who participated, keeping Maria, Allison and me on our toes. After we’d all worked up a good sweat for the evening, we decided to call it a practice. Jennifer and Chelsea still had cheer practice after all, and we didn’t want them too tired to participate.

After I showered, I started to step out again, realizing only too late that I’d forgotten to lock the door behind me. Worse yet, I could hear someone in the main office talking. The voice was muffled though, and I couldn’t make out who it was. I wrapped my hair in a towel, carefully wrapping the second one around my body. I cautiously padded to the bathroom door and peeked out.

A burly fellow I’d presumed, to be a coach stood with his back toward me. Coach Wilson sat at her desk facing the man, having apparently not noticed me.

“Yeah, I watched them practice together earlier,” the large man said, apparently mid-conversation. “The Latin girl’s got some moves, but the black-haired girl is something else isn’t she?”

“How so?” Coach Wilson responded.

“Well she’s a little short, but her speed is incredible. What was her name… Ronin?”

She laughed, “Robin? Yeah. Honestly, I know we’re not supposed to judge potentials before they try out, but I already know I want her, Allison, and Chelsea on my varsity team this year, and if the other girl tries out, I’ll take her in a heartbeat too. It’s a shame Jennifer’s not trying out, but I understand why she backed out this year.”

“Well anyway, I’ll let you get back to it.” He stepped out, closing the door behind him. Coach Wilson smiled as she stood, waving at me briefly.

“Hey Robin. You forgot to lock the door so I let myself in to keep an eye out. I’ll step out so you can change; just let me know when you’re done.”

“Thanks Coach,” I responded, blushing a little as she left the room. I sprinted in, grabbed my gym bag, and sprinted back to the bathroom to change into my street clothes. I wasn’t taking any chances this time. How could I have forgotten to lock the stupid door?

Allison and Maria stood waiting as I left the lady coaches’ office. Allison smiled as she waved me over. “Ready to go? Margie came to pick us up this time. I can’t wait until I can drive.”

I nodded, glancing at Maria. “Do you need a ride home?”

She shook her head. “No, but thank you. I’m just going to stay here and work on my homework. I’ll catch a ride with Chelsea after their practice is done. It was nice meeting you Robin. I really hope we all make the team!”

“Likewise. That was a lot of fun.” I responded.

The ride home was fairly uneventful. Margie talked about what the doctors had to say about Mom’s condition, and we laughed about my being nominated for the Homecoming court. I’d personally expected someone like Stacey or Chelsea to win, but it was a real honor just knowing someone had put my name forward before Nicole could.

As we pulled into the drive, I noticed a familiar cherry red convertible parked on the street.

“What’s Sensei doing here?” I gave Margie a puzzled glance. She rolled her shoulders.

“Your guess is as good as mine kiddo. He didn’t say anything last Friday did he?”

“Not at all. If anything he seemed pleased with my progress. I guess I’ll find out soon, though.” I added, as we stepped out of the car.

Allison gave me a reassuring hug and smiled. “Call me, okay?”

“Sure thing,” I responded, watching the blonde ponytail bounce as she hurried across the lawn to her house, gym bag and backpack slung over a shoulder each. I sighed nervously, turning to follow Margie inside.

I could hear my mother’s laughter from the kitchen, the sweet smell of freshly brewed hot tea permeating the entire house assaulting our senses as we entered. I dropped my bag by the stairs, hurrying into the kitchen, only to find Mom and Sensei Rogers sitting at the kitchen table talking. They both turned and smiled at me as I stepped inside. Mom stood as I approached, wrapping her in a tight hug.

“I’m so glad you’re home.” I said softly as I buried myself in her shoulder, holding her close. I couldn’t begin to describe the relief I felt at that moment. I’d completely forgotten Sensei Rogers was there.

“I know baby. I’m sorry for scaring you like that.” She cleared her throat, adding, “By the way…”

“Oh!” I let go of her and turned to bow to Sensei Rogers. He chuckled, waving his hand gently.

“Please, Robin, you don’t have to be so formal outside the dojo.”

“Yes sensei,” I automatically responded, then paused, offering a sheepish smile. He chuckled again.

“Josh told me about your mother, and I wanted to stop by and see if there was anything I could do to help, but it sounds like everything’s okay now.” He smiled as she returned to her chair, smiling back at him.

“Robin, you didn’t tell me Mr. Rogers was such a charming gentleman,” she offered. Even though she was addressing me, she never took her eyes off him. I glanced between the two of them and grinned.

“Sensei Rogers, would you like to stay for dinner?”

My mother’s face brightened, and turned just a shade redder at my sudden offer. He smiled, but shook his head. “I really shouldn’t impose.”

“Oh, you wouldn’t impose,” Margie chimed in from the doorway. “Robin’s a phenomenal cook. I’m sure she could whip up something absolutely magical.” She grinned. Apparently she had had the same idea I did. There are few things in life worse than two sisters plotting against you.

“Oh, alright,” he finally relented, “I suppose I can stay a little while. I have a class at six, but they won’t mind if I’m a little late just this once.”

I could make out the beginnings of each feeling the other out as I took over the kitchen, with Margie’s assistance. I decided to make something special so set about preparing my famous garlic lemon chicken. Well, not so much famous as ‘I ripped off the recipe from the internet and it turned out really well the last time I made it’. While I set about preparing our evening’s meal, one question caught my attention.

“So is there a Mr. Smith?”

“Not for a long time now. My husband and I divorced when Robin was little, and he died in an industrial accident a few years later. It’s just been the two of us until recently.”

I listened as she recounted the abridged version of her car accident and the summer I spent here, conveniently leaving out that I left California as her son. When she finished, she turned the question back on him.

“I almost married once, but the day of our wedding she declared that it was a mistake and ran off to join a convent.” He laughed, causing her to giggle quietly as well. I couldn’t help giggling to myself. As I checked on the chicken it occurred to me that I hadn’t heard my mother laugh like that in a very long time.

“Robin, that was absolutely amazing.” Sensei proudly declared as we concluded our impromptu meal. “You should seriously consider a career as a chef after high school.”

“Thank you,” I offered sheepishly. “I just followed the recipe, really. Oh, while I’m thinking about it I do have a small favor I need to ask.”

“Of course — anything you need, just ask.” He responded immediately. I chewed my lip for a moment before answering.

“About my Kenpo lessons… Money is a little tight right now with school starting back. I have a college trust set up from where my dad left a big insurance policy for Margie and me, but I’m trying not to lean on it too much. Now that school’s started I don’t have a part time job anymore, so I was wondering if it’d be okay if I cut back on my lessons to once a month for awhile?”

He listened as I babbled, and when I finished, he slowly stroked his neatly-trimmed whiskers. Finally, he spoke. “Well, I hate to lose you as a student. Actually, I have a solution I think can work to both our advantage. Are you busy on Saturday mornings?”

I shook my head. “Not at all. Saturday afternoons I have a therapy session in New Haven, but my mornings are free.”

He nodded. “How about this, then. If you’ll come by the dojo say, every other Saturday around nine and help the maintenance people set up for the following week, I’ll continue your lessons for free, until your financial situation improves?”

I could literally feel my jaw fall open. Margie leaned over and gently nudged it closed for me, causing me to blush even as I struggled to find the words. “I… I don’t know what to say. You’d really train me for free?”

He chuckled, “Well, ‘free’ is a relative term. Free of monetary payment? Yes, absolutely. But only because I know you’ll work twice as hard, both in your lessons and working on the dojo. Besides, I think your family needs that money far more than I do.” He winked at me and smiled.

“I… Thank you, Sensei. I’ll be in first thing Saturday morning!”

“Excellent. Speaking of which, I should get going before I’m late, myself.” He chuckled good-naturedly as he stood. Mom stood, offering him her hand, which he bowed and kissed.

“Mrs. Smith, it’s been a pleasure to meet you. You have a fine, hard-working daughter that I’m proud to have as a student.”

She blushed, smiling broadly. “Please, call me Linda. And perhaps we can go out for coffee some time?” She added. Margie and I exchanged a sisterly ‘Let’s give them a moment’ glance. We hurried out of the room.

“Ah, love,” Margie giggled as we sat down on the living room sofa together. I wrapped her in a hug as I nuzzled close.

“I never thought she’d hit it off so well with someone. Least of all my Kenpo instructor, but it kinda makes sense. Do you think they’ll start dating?”

She chuckled to herself. “Anything’s possible. Oh, hey, I got you something.”

“Really? What is it?”

She leaned over, retrieving a white plastic bag from beside the couch that she handed off to me. I could feel a comic book-sized object inside, which the Borders logo on the other side of the bag quickly confirmed. I stared at her.

“You didn’t have to do this!” I giggled, hugging her.

“I know, but you worry way too much about money for a girl your age. Honestly, if there’s something you really want, you just have to let me or your mom know.” She grinned, adding, “Within reason.”

“Well…” I carefully pulled the coveted graphic artbook from its plastic bag. This issue Aria Blade and Raven Wing were featured dressed as civilians standing on opposite sides of a street corner, Aria in a plain white sundress, and Raven Wing in a black knee-length dress with a leather trenchcoat. They seemed to be oblivious of one another’s presence, and I had to admit that save for Aria’s blonde hair, they looked kind of like Nicole and me.

“I need to talk to you and Mom about something, but I’m a little worried about her health.”

Margie leaned over and kissed my cheek as she brushed my hair back with her hand. “Kelly told me, sweetie. She didn’t say anything at first, but she’s been my best friend since college; I know when she’s got something on her mind.”

“She told you? Remind me to hug her when I see her again.” I laughed. “I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out how to tell you. I mean, it was kind of obvious that this was coming… Did she tell you when?”

She nodded. “She said you decided to wait until after high school. For what it’s worth, I’m proud of you.”

I had been so lost in the conversation that I didn’t realize Sensei had already left, or that Mom now stood in the doorway listening; not until she spoke up, scaring the daylights out of me, anyway.

“Wait for what?”

I squealed even as I jumped, causing Margie to giggle. Mom came into the room and sat down, wrapping me in a hug from the other side. I inhaled slowly and smiled up at her.

“I want to become completely ‘girl’. I want to have the surgery done — but like Margie said, I’m waiting until after high school. I wanted to do it sooner, but there’s so much recovery time involved that I wouldn’t be able to do girl scouts or gymnastics, or go to cheer camp or anything. I’d lose my whole summer, basically, so it’s better to wait until I’m eighteen.”

Mom smiled as she kissed my forehead. “Margie’s right. That is a very grown-up decision. For what it’s worth, you have my full support, but I’m still glad you want to wait. You’re still a kid, and you should continue to enjoy being a kid for as long as you can.” She paused, glancing down at my comic book. “… Is it my imagination or do those two look like you and Nicole?”

I laughed as I leaned over to kiss her cheek. “I’ve got to get my homework done, but if you’re up for it, I’d love to watch a movie or something when I’m done. Y’know, mother-daughter-awesome sister bonding time?”

Margie grinned. “You two go right ahead. Kelly talked me into going to check out a new club in New Haven later tonight.”

I wanted to tease her about her comment about Kelly ‘just’ being her best friend, but decided to leave well enough alone and gave her a squeeze. I stood and, gathering my things, headed up to my room. I called Allison while I worked on my homework, and we gossiped about Mom and Sensei hitting it off, Kelly and Margie’s plans to go clubbing, and general high school goings-on, only occasionally asking her for help on the more complicated math exercises, where I happily gave her advice on our History homework.

After saying our goodnights, I hung up my phone and stripped out of my clothes. I left them in a pile near the door for now so I could throw them in the hamper later and crawled into my pale blue cami-pajama bottom set. I practically bounded back downstairs where I found Mom curled up on the sofa reading one of Margie’s romance novels. I started to turn to head back upstairs, but she called after me.

“So, what did you want to watch?” Her warm, caring smile matched her soft tone. It had been such a long time since we watched anything together, and even now with school and everything else going on, we hadn’t spent enough time together.

I already knew exactly what I wanted to watch and grinned broadly as I answered. “Beauty and the Beast. I’ve wanted to watch that movie with you ever since I was a little g--” I cut myself off, chewing my lower lip hesitantly.

She smiled softly as she stood, wrapping me in a hug, “Sweetheart… You’ve always been my little girl. I just never realized it before this summer. But I do realize it now, and I’m not going to miss one more moment of it.”

I could feel tears streaming down my face as I held her close to me. “I love you so much Momma,” I offered softly. She kissed my forehead and smiled.

“I love you too Robin, with all my heart. Now, go pop some popcorn and I’ll start the DVD. I want to know how your day’s gone!”

I laughed, pausing at the door. I could feel my cheeks positively burning as I responded, “Um, well, for starters, someone beat Nicole to nominating me for Sophomore Homecoming Maid.”

~* Practice Makes Perfect *~ “So I heard you’ve never played before.” She offered in a friendly tone. I couldn’t decide if she had finally decided to drop the high school drama act or not, so I decided to take the high road. I carefully rolled my towel, letting it hang about my neck as I looked at her. “Yeah, I’ve never really been into sports before, but Chelsea talked me into trying out.” “That explains why you shoot like my grandmother at least.” She laughed as she stood. I sighed, turning my attention to nursing my water bottle, but Maria, who had witnessed the whole thing from directly behind us, scowled. “Hey, what the hell is your problem, chica?” She rattled something rather foul-sounding in Spanish. Brittany whirled around to glare at her, biting back. “What business is it of yours? And you’re in America now; learn to speak American!”

---

“Ah, so good of you to ‘join’ me for dinner!” The raven-winged villain cackled, as Aria Blade writhed helplessly entangled in inky tentacle-like shadows. The villainess crossed the short distance between them, smiling grimly. “Such a pretty face. I do hate to waste it.”

“Get away from me you monster!” Aria shrieked, sending out a shockwave that should by all rights have sent Raven Wing flying backwards. She calmly adjusted her form-fitting purple corset, even as the shield of mystical, dark energy faded, a cruel smirk on her lips.

“Did you really think I would go to all this trouble to lure you here without taking the necessary precautions? Now, do I unmask that pretty little face now, or make you wait?”

“Robin, there you are!” Allison snapped my attention away from my book. I quickly spirited it away as I turned from my locker to wave. I offered her a wry smile. The hall was otherwise empty save the janitor pushing a dust mop down the long, tiled hall.

“Sorry. I just forgot my uhm… algebra book.”

“But we had a test today,” she responded in a puzzled tone. She gave me that ‘I know you’re lying to me.’ glance. I sighed as I turned to lean against the lockers. Thursday had finally come, and with it the preliminary practice for basketball hopefuls, but I thought we still had some time before we needed to be at the gym. Allison stepped closer, wrapping me in a hug. I caught a faint whiff of her perfume, aged by the day’s goings-on, but still sweet enough to make me smile. It definitely suited her. “Robin? What is it?”

I gave her a wry smile as I hesitated, but finally relented. “It’s just kind of embarrassing.” I shifted my gaze from her, peering around and making absolutely certain no one else was standing within earshot.

“There’s this comic book I’ve been really getting into lately. It just seems like such a ‘guy’ thing, you know?” Allison blinked a couple of times. I could tell she wanted to giggle. I rolled my eyes and waved a dismissive hand at her. “Go ahead and laugh.”

She grinned, giggling a little, “Sorry. It’s just… I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Just promise you won’t tell Nikki?” I pleaded.

“But-”

“Please?”

She frowned, nodding. “Okay okay, I promise.” She looked like she wanted to say more, but the relieved expression I gave her left her silent. This time it was me that hugged her, stepping back again as Maria’s voice echoed from further down the hall.

“Hey you two, I was wondering where you guys were hiding.” She looked dressed and ready for our first practice already. I glanced at the faux-silver chain watch dangling from Allison’s wrist.

“Oh, crap! We’ve got like ten minutes to change!” I yelped. Maria giggled.

“Yeah, no kidding chica! Come on, Coach Wilson’s waiting!” She added a moment later, as we scurried toward the gym, “But you didn’t answer my question! Really, you guys made me feel so welcome my first day, I just want to return the favor you know?”

“Really, I’m okay.” I offered her a cheerful smile. I really did feel better, but I DID still kind of feel comics were a real ‘guy’ thing. I had only been learning to be a girl for a few months now, and I still had so much further to go. “Thanks though. Hey, how do the team hopefuls look this year?”

“De nada; and the competition’s … Well let’s just say Allison and Chelsea are a shoe-in, and you’re definitely up pretty high too. Me, well, not so much. I mean I thought I’d get right in, but some of these girls are good!”

“Hey!” Allison responded, “Don’t sell yourself short either. That was a heck of a three-pointer you shot the other night. Even Chelsea was impressed.” Maria laughed as we entered the gym from the school’s open-air courtyard.

“Sure, but she’s part of my host family; she’s supposed to be biased.” She teased. They both turned their attention to me as we reached the Coaches’ office. Already the sounds of multiple basketballs hitting court echoed loudly through the area.

“I’ll see you in a minute,” I spoke, waving as I parted ways to step into the office. Coach Wilson was nowhere in sight, so I presumed she was already on the court. Elaine sat typing away at the computer. I quietly slipped up behind her and spoke. “Hey Elaine.“

She squealed with surprise, throwing her hands up and inadvertently mistyping something into her spreadsheet in the process. I stifled a giggle as she looked up at me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Her furious blush belied her warm smile as she shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I was just so lost in what I was doing… Oh, you’re here to change aren’t you? I’ll just get out of your way…”

“No, you’re fine. I can change in the bathroom.” I offered. I’d already interrupted her work, and didn’t want to make it any worse.

“Really? I mean, I know the rumors…” She trailed off, a moment later looking positively guilty. “I’m sorry, that just slipped!” She blushed even more profusely.

“Hang on a second, what rumors?” I asked, a little concerned. She slowly turned her computer chair toward me as she looked up.

“… Some kids have been saying that you’re not allowed to change for P.E. or basketball because you’re… Well… into girls?” Her gaze plummeted, settling on my black patent boots. I knelt down, placing my hand on hers, which caused her to slowly look up. When our eyes met, I gave her a friendly smile.

“Listen… Things at camp got a little weird. I don’t know what you’ve heard about me specifically, or from whom, but if there’s something you want to talk to me or my friends about, you don’t have to feel uncomfortable. As far as why I change separately, that’s between me and the school board, but I will say that it has nothing to do with the fact that yes, I’m dating a girl. Nikki and I are best friends first, though.”

“So… You didn’t have to leave camp because of that?” She asked, slightly less hesitantly. I shook my head. I HAD to have been grinning at this point largely because of the fond memories of that day flooding back. I cried for what felt like hours, so relieved knowing Momma was awake.

“No, I had to leave camp because my mom finally woke up. She was in a coma for like, a month, after she fell asleep at the wheel. I’m sorry, I had no idea you were never told all this.”

“It’s okay. I guess I’m partly to blame for never asking. I’m-” she began, but a knock at the door interrupted us.

“Robin, hurry up!” Chelsea called from the door. Elaine nodded her agreement.

“You’d better hurry and get changed. We can talk again later.” She added with a smile, returning to her work. For my part I gave her a friendly pat on her shoulder and hurried into the bathroom.

Tryouts wouldn’t be until the end of the month, but we could already tell who our core team would be. I don’t mean to boast, but the extra practice we put in really did help a lot, and like Chelsea had mentioned the other day, they lost a few of their star players over the summer for various reasons.

At the end of our practice there were only fifteen of us left still interested. As we sat on the bleachers, toweling off and rehydrating, Brittany (the catty blonde whom I’d met on day one) stood up and walked over to sit beside me.

“So I heard you’ve never played before.” She offered in a friendly tone. I couldn’t decide if she had finally decided to drop the high school drama act or not, so I decided to take the high road. I carefully rolled my towel, letting it hang about my neck as I looked at her.

“Yeah, I’ve never really been into sports before, but Chelsea talked me into trying out.”

“That explains why you shoot like my grandmother at least.” She laughed as she stood. I sighed, turning my attention to nursing my water bottle, but Maria, who had witnessed the whole thing from directly behind us, scowled.

“Hey, what the hell is your problem, chica?” She rattled something rather foul-sounding in Spanish. Brittany whirled around to glare at her, biting back.

“What business is it of yours? And you’re in America now; learn to speak American!”

“… It’s ENGLISH, Brittany,” I responded icily. I’d had enough of her attitude on and off the court. “And leave her alone; she speaks better English than a lot of people I’ve met.”

“Oh, so the Valley Girl’s got some claws after all.” She sneered. Everyone else stayed silent. They apparently saw what, or I should say who, was coming.

“What’s the problem ladies?” Coach Wilson’s authoritative clip followed shortly. I could see the fear in Brittany’s piercing blue eyes. Against my better judgment, I quickly turned, shooting the approaching adult a disarming smile.

“No problem Coach. We were just debating who the starters would be. WEREN’T we, Brit?” I forced a smile, glancing back at the blonde. She quietly nodded.

“Yeah. Listen, I’m gonna go hit the showers. Nice practice.” She turned to walk away. Coach Wilson glanced at me briefly, and I smiled.

“Really, there’s no problem.”

“… Alright, if you say so.” She responded, turning her attention to her clipboard. “Right, everyone hit the showers. Next practice is this Tuesday. Someone tell Brittany so she doesn’t miss it. Dismissed.”

Maria stepped down off the bleachers, placing a hand on my shoulder for me to wait, while the others walked away. She frowned, staring at me for a moment before breaking her silence. “Listen… It’s not that I don’t appreciate you standing up for me like that, but why did you let her get away with being a pend-I mean a jerk? You could have told Coach Wilson the truth and not one of us would think any less of you.”

“Honestly? She’s not worth the angst. I have enough problems without looking for trouble. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m not afraid of her, and I’m not afraid to stand up to her-”

She laughed. “Obviously.”

“-But I’m not going to let her get to me either. C’mon, I need a shower, and you do too.” I teased, causing her to chuckle. As we walked off the court, she smiled, glancing my direction.

“Nikki’s lucky to have someone like you. My last boyfriend didn’t work out so well. Do you think there are guys like you out there?” She hesitated, blushing, “I mean, not.. guys who are girls, but guys with good hearts, who aren’t jerks.” She recovered quickly.

I gave her a smile, trying to ignore the comment. There were times when I felt lost, trapped between being a boy and being a girl, but they seemed fewer and farther between than ever these days. “Absolutely. Have you met Jen’s boyfriend yet? He’s a really great guy. There are jerks in every school, and that’s true for both guys and girls, but there are some decent people out there too. Just hang in there and don’t compromise just because he’s cute!” I teased. She giggled, waving as we parted ways, and I stepped into Coach Wilson’s office.

She smiled, giving me a silent nod as I passed and stepped into the bathroom area to get my shower. By the time I had changed and stepped out again, the office seemed empty. I sat down to slip my feet into my boots, when I heard Brittany’s voice.

“About time. I thought you were going to be in there forever. Why do you shower in there anyway?” She held up her hand before I could respond. “Never mind; look, I just wanted to say thanks for not saying anything to Coach Wilson. This doesn’t mean I like you, or that I feel like I suddenly owe you anything or whatever. … But I’m glad I can still try out, so thanks, I guess.”

She practically scurried out, as though associating with me would damage her social status further. Allison passed her in the doorway, glancing over her shoulder after the girl as she stepped inside.

“What did SHE want?” She scowled. I chuckled a bit.

“To apologize.” I responded curtly. Of course, I’d tell her the rest momentarily, but I wanted to see the look on her face first. I didn’t have long to wait, as Allison’s jaw dropped and she stared silently at me for several seconds.

I couldn’t hold it in anymore though and started laughing. “Okay, so it was a token ‘Thanks for not getting my ass in a sling’ type apology, and I fully expect her to continue giving me crap, but I’ve already decided I’m taking the high road. If she wants to dig her own grave that’s her problem.”

She nodded at that, and stepped closer to give me a hug as I stood. “If you say so. C’mon, we need to talk.”

“Uh oh,” I responded nervously. She just grinned, grabbing my arm and walking with me out of the gym. We bumped into Chelsea and Maria on our way to the parking lot.

“So, Robin, the girls and I have been talking…” Chelsea began.

Maria promptly butted in, giggling, “Yeah. After the way you stood up to Brittany, she got to enjoy a shower all by herself. Nobody else wanted anything to do with her. It was kinda sad really.”

I frowned a little as I glanced at Chelsea. “So that’s why she apologized?”

“She apologized? Well, that’s a surprise. Anyway, I just wanted you to know you have the girls’ basketball team and our boyfriends’ votes this year.”

“Er… Votes?”

“Yeah, with homecoming soon we talked about votes on our freshman and sophomore maids respectively, and we decided we wanted you to represent us as a ‘team’. The Freshmen lose out on voting for their class Maid, but it was their idea. And I’ll talk to the cheerleaders too, but no promises there.”

I stared, dumbfounded, as I stopped in my tracks. “B-b-but,” I stammered. Chelsea shook her head.

“No buts! It’s already been decided.” She insisted. “My mom’s here to pick up Maria and me. I’ll see you tomorrow okay?”

She and Maria both waved as they hurried off, leaving me stunned silent with Allison close-by, apparently having been trying to get my attention for several seconds, as the next thing I remembered, she had a small square of my arm flesh pinched between her fingers.

“Ow!” I yelped, spinning to face her.

“Sorry. I was trying to tell you your mom’s here to pick us up.” She nodded toward an unfamiliar vehicle, a sapphire blue late model Chevy Cavalier with a very familiar driver, grabbing my hand.

“But, wait, what just happened?” I sputtered as I found myself both literally and metaphorically pulled along. I had just unwittingly been nominated by thirteen out of fourteen girls, and their boyfriends, for a competition I wanted no part of! How did I keep getting myself into these messes again?

“Cool car, Linda!” Allison squealed as she dove into the backseat, taking my backpack and gym bag with her. I managed to return to my senses enough to seat myself and attend to my seatbelt, but not much more.

Mom smiled cheerfully as she started it up again. “The insurance claim on my old car has been sitting in limbo since the accident, since I wasn’t in any shape to drive, but now that we know what caused me to black out I should be okay.” She glanced over at me as we pulled out of the parking lot. “Robin, sweetheart? What’s wrong?”

“I…” I started, blushing intensely. Allison giggled, finishing for me.

“Basically there’s this catty girl, Brittany, who’s been giving Robin a hard time since the first day. She’s the one responsible for those stupid ‘Valley Girl’ rumors, only it totally backfired on her today. She tried to pick a fight with Robin and Maria, our foreign exchange student stepped in…” Mom listened as Allison chattered away, occasionally throwing me a concerned glance.

“So now Robin has like, the entire girls’ basketball team and their boyfriends voting for her. Even the freshmen are going to waive their right to vote for their Maid to vote for Robin if the Principal will allow it. It’s SO cool!” She giggled.

Mom slooowly tilted her head to look at me. I just stared out the window. My cheeks felt so hot I thought I could probably fry an egg on them by now.

“Robin, I had no idea you were even interested!” She spoke proudly. I glanced back at her, trying to smile.

“I… I’m not. I feel like it should go to a r-” I cut myself off before I could say ‘real girl’, but it was too late. The damage had been done, and my thoughts that continually interrupted any joy I might or should have felt had finally been brought screaming into the light. Allison leaned forward, thwapping me rather hard across the shoulder.

“Ow!” I cried out, glaring back at her. She positively scowled.

“Robin Jane Smith, you need to stop doing this! You ARE a real girl, damit!”

Mom shot Allison a motherly ‘Language…’ glance through the rear-view mirror, then turned her gaze on me. “She’s right, sweetheart… You need to stop doubting and degrading yourself. The only, and I mean ONLY difference between you and Allison right now, is the shape of your physical genitalia.”

Moments before, I hadn’t thought I could blush any more ferociously, and then she went into Nurse Mode. Allison shifted uncomfortably in her seat too, at least, but it didn’t stop Mom from continuing down this tangent.

“You’ve heard Doctor Ketz say it countless times, sweetheart. Hormones are what define your body, and your brain is what defines your gender. You are a girl, and you have every right to wear that crown as any other girl. And from the sounds of this Brittany girl, quite a bit more right than some.”

I sat silently, mulling over what both she and Allison said. For several seconds, none of us broke the contemplative silence. Finally, I smiled, tilting my head toward her. “You’re right… You’re both right. I’m sorry, Mom, Ally.”

Allison leaned forward, squeezing my shoulder gently. “And I’m sorry I smacked you, but come on. You had it coming. I’ve known you were a girl from the second I met you!” She giggled, dredging up mental images of that first terrifying day I spent with her, letting her do my nails and hair. That was such a magical, wonderful day. The day I ‘became’ Robin.

“And looking back, I can see all the signs I should have seen so long ago. I’m sorry Robin,” Mom added, a few stray tears rolling down her cheeks as she squeezed my hand tightly. “If I hadn’t have been working so hard… If we had more time together, then I might have seen it sooner.”

“Momma, no, it’s not your fault. I mean, when dad left you didn’t have any choice. You wanted a better future for us both. I’m just glad you know now, that I don’t have to hide it anymore.”

“I am too, sweetheart,” she responded, smiling at me. She glanced up at the rear-view mirror, smiling warmly at Allison who, by now, was on the verge of tears herself.

“Sorry… That’s just really beautiful,” she finally spoke, her voice cracking. “I’m so, so glad I came over that first day… I love you guys.”

“We love you too,” I responded as we pulled into the driveway. I half-expected to see Sensei Rogers’ car waiting for us, but it was only Margie’s. Mom and Sensei had gone out for coffee yesterday afternoon, but she wouldn’t say anything about it other than ‘He’s a very charming gentleman whom I’d like to get to know better’. I grabbed Allison in a big bear hug as she slid from the backseat. She giggled a little and hugged me back.

“Hey, Linda, can Robin come over and work on homework with me? We’ve got a birthday to plan.”

“Of course, Allison!” she responded warmly. By now I had finally remembered to ask her what caused her to black out, only to be distracted by Allison’s request, and more importantly, talk of someone’s birthday coming! I shouldered my backpack, grabbing my gym bag and turning to face her again.

“I’ll be right over. I just need to put my gym bag inside so I don’t forget to air it out before Kenpo tomorrow.”

“Oh, no problem. Just come on down to the den when you’re ready.”

“So what was wrong? I mean, what did the tests show? Is there a chance it’ll happen again?” I bombarded Mom with questions as I followed her inside.

She smiled warmly. “The non-technical answer is ‘complications’. Remember that cold I had not long ago?” she asked, following me up the stairs to my room. I nodded as I stepped inside, waiting for her to follow, and continue with her explanation. Meanwhile I placed my backpack on my bed, laying the latest issue of Aria and Raven on my bed so I could finish reading it before bedtime tonight.

“Well, I was actually pretty sick for awhile there. I should have realized I wasn’t getting enough fluids in my body, and I was already pretty weak. I’m still not back to one-hundred percent even now,” she admitted with a wry smile as she watched me unpack my gym bag. I laid everything in a neat pile to take to the hamper, hanging my open bag on the back of my vanity chair.

“But it was equal parts mild dehydration and lack of critical vitamins in my body. In short, your mother needs to be taking her own advice about eating her spinach.” She grinned, causing me to laugh. I turned to wrap her in a hug. Tears began to stream down my face as I held her tightly close. She wrapped her arms around me, slowly stroking my hair.

“I’m just so glad you’re okay Mom. I couldn’t bear losing you twice.”

“Sweetheart, I’m not going anywhere for a long time. Now, you should go over to the Jones’ before Allison gets bored waiting! Carol’s probably making tacos just for you two.”

“Oooh, tacos! Someday I have to get her recipe!” I giggled a little, giving her another warm hug, then bounding back out of the room. On my way out, I grabbed my now much lighter backpack so we could do our homework together. I still had to wonder though, whose birthday was she talking about?

~* Of Birthdays and Bullies *~ “Come on sweetheart, let’s get you to the office and file a report okay?” I just nodded. She helped me to my feet, and I immediately buried my face in her small shoulder. Tears now stung my eyes, completely blurring my vision. I could hear Allison gasp only a few steps down the hall. “What happened?!” she demanded. My kind, soft-spoken English teacher didn’t say a word as she continued to lead me to the office. I didn't realize until we arrived that Nicole had been following too. I collapsed into a chair, burying my face in my hands as they both wrapped their arms around me. “Who… Who would do something like this?” I finally managed.

---

“Hey, kiddo! How was school?” Margie called from the living room as I reached the bottom of the stairs.

“Great. It looks like I might make the basketball team. Hey, you never did tell me how the club thing went?” I knew Allison had to be getting tired of waiting for me by now, but this question had been bothering me all day! I poked my head around the door, my elder sibling smiling fondly back at me. She had a notepad open across her lap, and tucked her mildly chewed pencil behind her ear as she spoke.

“It was great. We haven’t just gone out dancing or anything like that since our college days.” Her cheerful smile left me wondering, but again, I decided not to ask. Margie never struck me as the type to be into girls, but then, Allison and I were practically inseparable best friends by now, and we didn’t have years and thousands of miles separating us the way Margie and Kelly had.

“Awesome. I’m just heading over there now to work on my homework with Ally.”

“Have fun. I’m going to stay in tonight and help your mom with some scrapbooking.” A mischievous grin crossed her lips at that comment, but I didn’t have time to pursue it. I turned, hurrying out the door and over to the Jones’.

Carol and Joe had told me on several occasions now that I didn’t need to knock and to just let myself in, but it’d taken me until very recently to finally get used to the idea. As I stepped inside, the all-too-familiar, mouthwatering aroma of seasoned, spicy taco meat assaulted my senses.

“Robin, is that you?” Kelly called from the kitchen.

“Yes, sorry I’m late. I had to ask Mom about what the doctors said.”

“Allison’s waiting in the den. C’mere a second?” She called back. I shifted my backpack slightly, stepping into the kitchen where she stood, dressed rather casually with a plain white kitchen apron wrapped around her waist, tending to the taco meat. She had just slid an oven mitt into place when I stepped closer.

“What’s up?”

As she opened the oven, I could already smell the heavenly, low-heat baked taco shells. She pulled the baking sheet out, setting it aside as she turned to me. “Allison told me you were feeling uneasy about being nominated for the Homecoming Court. Is there anything you want to talk about?”

Without waiting for her to ask for the next ingredient, I automatically turned to the refrigerator, pulling the door open. “I’m okay now, really. It’s just, I’ve been so worried about someone finding out I wasn’t born a girl… I’ve been trying so hard to keep a low profile,” I explained, as I pulled a package of shredded cheese from one of the drawers, “And it’s like everyone’s conspiring to put me in the spotlight, for positive or negative ends.”

She laughed as she laid out two plates and began assembling our meaty Tex-Mex treats. “Yeah, she told me about the other girl. Props for not losing your temper by the way; I wouldn’t have been so gracious. The thing is what you’re going through? It has nothing to do with you being transgendered. This is just part of being a girl.”

“I guess… At Girl Scout camp, there was a girl … Well, you remember Natalie right? Came to our end of summer slumber party? Well, she was kind of like this girl, only she was just lashing out because of how the camp treated the suicide of her best friend. Brittany though… I don’t know what her problem is. It’s like she hates me because I exist.”

“Like I said,” she offered solemnly, as she turned to hand me both plates, “it’s just part of being a girl. You have to learn to navigate the powerplays and politics. You have one advantage in that you don’t have a boyfriend to steal though,” she offered wryly, “And another in that you have your friends to help you through this. Even naturally-born girls have to learn this stuff. Just ask Ally — it doesn’t come naturally. They just have a lot more time to practice than girls like us.” She winked.

I had to laugh a little at that. “Thanks, Kelly… I needed that. I’d hug you but I’m afraid I’d spill our tacos.”

She giggled as she wrapped her arm around my neck, kissing my forehead. “Go on, scoot. And yell if you girls need anything. Mom and Dad have gone out to dinner, so it’s just the three of us for a few hours.”

“There you are! Ooh, with tacos!” Allison squealed excitedly, leaping over the back of the sofa and rushing over. As she accepted her taco platter, she continued to chatter away. I couldn’t help noticing though, that the den had a new addition in the form of a large, expensive-looking black keyboard. I knew nothing about musical instruments before meeting Allison and Nicole, so I kept my distance.

“So, someone’s got a birthday coming up. I already mentioned that didn’t I?”

I laughed, both because she had indeed already mentioned it and because she finally let me get a word in edgewise. “Yes, but you didn’t say who, you nut! Is it Kelly?”

“Nope!” She beamed as she slid onto a barstool. Two glasses of iced red cream soda awaited us. “Guess again!”

“It’s not Nikki’s is it?” I continued, as I seated myself, shooting her a glance. Her giggle answered that question nicely. “So what do you have in mind?”

“Wee-ell, her parents basically told me I can do whatever I want within reason. We have only a few ground rules. Nothing illegal for one, obviously. Oh, and we have to decide where to host it. It’s got to be someplace big though so her house is out.”

I stopped chewing, tilting my head to give her a sidelong stare. “Um… Ally? Nikki’s house is huge. Like, you could fit both our houses in there twice huge.”

She grinned impishly as she set down her half-eaten taco. “Wait here a sec, ‘kay?” Without waiting for my response she bounded off the barstool and rushed over to the sofa. I meanwhile returned to my taco, finishing off the first of the two as she returned with her MP3 player. She passed me the earbud headphones which I slipped into place, staring at her expectantly.

The music that followed could only have been described as pre-Robin Nicole. The driving rhythms and dark undertones matched with the macabre lyrics in a way that left me rapt with fascination. I simply had to listen to the entire song. Allison’s approving grin did make me laugh though, as I removed her headphones and passed them back to her.

“Nice, huh?”

“That’s amazing, but who were they?”

Allison set her MP3 player aside even as she snatched up her half-eaten foodstuffs. “It’s a Euro goth band Nikki introduced me to back in April or so called Heedless Despair. They’re like, rock opera meets legitimate theater, and Nikki absolutely idolizes their bassist.”

“This is really cool, but what does this have to do with her birthday?” I could see where she was going at first, but the fact the group apparently are based out of Europe left me at a loss.

“Well, I can’t make any promises obviously, but I sent their agent an e-mail explaining everything. I honestly didn’t expect a response, but it turns out H.D. will be performing in concert in New York the week of her birthday.”

I stared, dumbfounded. “But wait, so how did you convince them to come here on such short notice?” By now, I had completely abandoned any notion of finishing my meal. Allison meanwhile kept crunching away as though this discussion were instead about pumpkin pie or something.

“Mr. Morgan is a shrewd negotiator. That and when their bassist found out Nikki’s like, her biggest fan on the planet? I’m told her ‘morbid curiosity got the best of her’, so they’ve agreed to perform at a premium rate. I don’t know all the details, really.”

“Ah, magic. Gotcha.” I playfully responded. “Just let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

“Well, like I said, I need help planning. See, since we were like twelve, we’ve been talking about these ridiculously over-the-top plans for each others’ sweet-sixteen. It’s always been playful banter between two kids, but…”

I couldn’t help smiling, slipping off my stool to wrap her in a tight hug. “I understand. She’s special. She’s been through so much crap in her life, and she deserves to have an epic sweet sixteen, right?”

Allison giggled as she nodded, despite a few tears rolling down her cheek. “Yeah, exactly.”

“I’m honored, Ally. I have Kenpo tomorrow, and I have to work Saturday morning… and then there’s my therapy session that afternoon, but I’ll come RIGHT over after I get home to help you plan.”

“That sounds great. Wait, what about work? Oh right! Your dojo thing!”

“Yeah. Who’d have thought Mom and Sensei Rogers would’ve hit it off so well?” I laughed, our topic of conversation turning to gossiping about the prospective romance, even as we settled in to start our homework. In the back of my mind though, I couldn’t help worrying a little bit about Nicole’s birthday. A very wise person said that you should never meet your heroes, though with this band’s interest in the gig, maybe it would turn out okay after all. A girl can hope anyway.

Friday, as well as the weekend, passed uneventfully. Allison had called Jennifer while I kept Nicole distracted Saturday night, to let her know I’d be helping them plan. Sunday evening though, I finally managed to finish reading the latest issue of the Aria Blade/Raven Wing saga.

While Raven Wing monologued endlessly of her evil and dastardly plans for the captive Aria, one of the blonde heroine’s super team members, inked in as a black silhouette, infiltrated Raven’s base, setting off a psychic shockwave to disrupt the arcane trap and freeing Aria.

The biggest surprise though, had come at the end, when Raven, in a disoriented, drunken stupor from the psionic attack, asked Aria not to abandon her. Aria actually hesitated for a moment, considering internally whether or not she should reach out to Raven Wing, but ultimately declared the risk too high, and left Raven Wing a crumpled, babbling heap. As she fled, she looked back over her shoulder uneasily, with a large “TO BE CONTINUED…?” over the final panel.

The amount of care and depth the anonymous author put into the characters really showed. As I lay on my bed staring at the final panel, wondering what could possibly be going through Aria’s mind, and why she didn’t go back for Raven, I found myself violently shaken from my reverie. Margie covered her mouth to futilely fight a giggle from scaring me half out of my wits.

“I am so sorry. I just wanted to check on you. You’ve been so quiet tonight.”

I laughed as I rolled my shoulders. “It’s okay. I was just thinking. It seems like Aria Blade and Raven Wing at least like each other, like if they had been born in another universe that they’d be friends or something. I just don’t understand why Aria doesn’t tell Raven she’s worried about her.” I offered as I sat up, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed. I knew it was only fiction, but it was very thought-provoking fiction.

Margie smiled as she sat on the edge of the bed next to me and wrapped me in a hug. “Sometimes… The person we think we have to be gets in the way of who we really are inside. I don’t follow the comic, but from what you’ve told me I’d say Aria’s worried about how her super companions will react to her showing empathy for someone who, on several occasions since joining the team, has targeted her specifically.”

I tilted my head in thought at that then slowly smiled. “You know, that really makes a lot of sense. It’s like me with this Homecoming thing. I’ve been so scared that people will find out I wasn’t physically born a girl that I haven’t allowed myself to even consider the idea that a whole lot of people want to see me succeed, whether it’s because they think I deserve it, or because they think I can bring Brittany, our resident Queen of the School, down a peg.”

She giggled. “Kelly’s right. You do have a lot to learn. But you’ve always been sharp, so I have no doubt you’ll find your way. If you ever have questions though, you know you can come to one of us right?”

“Of course. Now more than ever.” I leaned over to kiss her cheek, squeezing her tightly.

“Sweet dreams, sis.” She responded, kissing my forehead. Already in my pajamas, I reached back, pulling my covers back. To my surprise she took over from there and gently tucked me in, which was something she hadn’t done since she babysat for me all those years ago.

Things progressed relatively quietly at school the next Monday, but to my great surprise, we only had a week until Homecoming already! Everyone was abuzz about who’d be chosen for Homecoming Queen. Victoria Esquire, a senior whose name I’d only heard a few times in passing, looked to be the frontrunner though. At least, I'd only heard of her in passing until she approached me in the hallway immediately after lunch.

“Robin right?” She asked, giving me a genuinely warm smile as she flagged me down. Nicole and Allison stayed by my side, but they stayed silent too.

“Yeah. Um… Victoria?”

“Yep!” She spoke with all the cheer I expected from a head cheerleader. “Heya Nikki, cute top.” She at least seemed to want to play nice to the girlfriend, but Nicole just smiled that ‘Bite me’ sarcastic, smug smile of hers. Victoria returned her attention to me. “Have you thought about who you want to escort you yet?”

“For… what?”

“Homecoming of course. See, this is how it’s going to work. At the Pep Rally next Friday-” she started, but I just had to stop her.

“Victoria, what are you talking about? I thought voting was supposed to continue until the last Monday in…” That’s when it hit me. It all struck me like a ten ton tennis ball. I stared for a long moment at her. “… Are you saying…? I… I mean I’m the…”

I screamed. I genuinely, wholly and with all I had in me screamed. I at least wasn’t the only one though, as Nicole and Allison joined me a moment later in the ridiculously girly spectacle. I didn’t care though — I won!

“Ohmygod this is so cool!”

Nicole giggled. “Holy shit. I’m dating the Sophomore Homecoming Maid. This is so cool!”

“Um, yeah, about that…” Victoria interrupted, turning her gaze on Nicole. “You’re not going to have a problem with Robin being escorted by a guy are you? I mean, it’s not like it’s just any guy.”

I glanced between the two of them, relieved that Nicole actually grinned. “Naw, I know football players escorting the ‘Royalty’ is tradition. But if he gropes her, I’ll break his arm off and beat him with it,” she added with a grim smile. I assumed word had traveled by now about our dating since Victoria didn’t freak out and run the other way or anything at our little not-so-secret just being blurted out like that.

Victoria smiled as she nodded. “Great. Personally I think it’s really cool that you guys feel safe being open about your relationship. Anyway I’ve got to get to class. Let me know what you decide though so I can tell the planning committee. Have a second choice ready too just in case your first choice is taken!”

As she raced off, I turned my attention to Allison and Nicole. “Oh my God…”

“I know!” Allison squealed excitedly.

“I don’t even know anyone on the football team though. My track record with jocks hasn’t gone well.”

“Come on, we can talk about it more in class,” Allison advised, as the final bell rang, warning us we’d be late if we waited any longer.

I found it impossible to focus for all the excitement. I fully expected someone prettier or more popular to win. I had several people congratulate me in the halls, including my apparent competition. I didn’t know how to react to all the sudden attention, so I just graciously thanked them and continued on my way. Sadly the euphoria wasn’t to last.

As I arrived at my locker after my last class, I found a note had been shoved inside.

‘Congratulations on Sophomore Maid, stupid lesbian bitch. Be smart and drop out or else!’

My hands were quivering. I could feel tears stinging my eyes already as I sank to my knees, staring at the note. Underneath the printed text pictures of Nicole and me had been attached and defaced. The worst part though was it looked like it was a photocopy, that the original might still be out there.

I felt a soft hand on my shoulder and looked up to see my AP English teacher bent down next to me. “Robin, what on earth happened?” the small-framed woman spoke gently. The note shook horribly in my hands as I held it up. She took it from me so she could read it, and immediately frowned. “Oh my God… If I find out who did this…” she began, then, as if only now realizing I was still there she immediately knelt and wrapped me in a hug.

“Come on sweetheart, let’s get you to the office and file a report okay?”

I just nodded. She helped me to my feet, and I immediately buried my face in her small shoulder. Tears now stung my eyes, completely blurring my vision. I could hear Allison gasp only a few steps down the hall.

“What happened?!” she demanded.

My kind, soft-spoken English teacher didn’t say a word as she continued to lead me to the office. I didn't realize until we arrived that Nicole had been following too. I collapsed into a chair, burying my face in my hands as they both wrapped their arms around me. “Who… Who would do something like this?” I finally managed.

Nicole responded icily, “If I find out who it is, they’re going to wish they’d never been friggen BORN!”

The secretary glanced over the rim of her wire-frame glasses at us at Nicole’s outburst, but before she spoke, she reached up to look at the note that had been left in my locker. She immediately scowled, took the box of tissue from her desk, and approached me, kneeling.

“Here you are, sweetheart...”

I managed a weak smile as I took several tissues and began trying to compose myself. As if on cue, Mr. Rochelle stepped out of his office.

“Alright, Mrs. Ellis, what’s the meaning of-” he began, but shut right up when he saw me. I just nodded, deferring to her. She gingerly picked up the note as though it were the most disgusting thing she'd ever seen, handing it to him.

I could see the blood drain from his face as he read it. He immediately disappeared back into his office, leaving us alone. Mrs. Ellis glanced between me and the open door, biting her lip. Finally she turned and rushed inside after him. A few moments later, she poked her head around the corner, motioning for me to come.

I quietly stood and made my way inside, sitting without bothering to wait for either of them to ask. Principal Rochelle had just hung up the phone. He rubbed his temples slowly, and then turned his gaze on me.

“I’m sorry…” I began. He shook his head slowly.

“No, I’m sorry. There was supposed to be a staff member monitoring that hallway at all times to prevent precisely this sort of harassment. I just notified local authorities personally. I may not understand or agree with all this, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let this slip by while I’m Principal of this school.” His angry tone honestly scared me. I couldn’t help feeling thankful he was on my side. “I need to call your mother and let her know about this as well.”

“Please don’t. I’ll tell her myself. She’s just now starting to recover. Can you call the Joneses instead? Joe and Carol are listed as my legal contacts in case Mom and Margie are unreachable,” I pleaded. Mom needed to know, but I wanted to tell her myself, so I could at least temper it with some good news.

He sighed, reluctantly nodding. “Alright, I’ll call Joe Jones just this once. I need you to wait here until someone arrives to take your statement, and you need to decide if you want to file criminal charges. Strictly off-the-record though,” he added, leaning forward, “If I find out who did this, I will personally put my size twelve wingtips in their-”

“Sir…” Mrs. Ellis interrupted him. He cleared his throat.

“Yes, of course… I apologize Mrs. Ellis, Miss Smith. You may both step out.”

Mrs. Ellis wrapped me in another hug as we left the room. Even at my meager five feet and five inches (I finally grew an inch!) I still managed to eek out more height than her, though at that moment I couldn’t have felt smaller.

I sighed as I took my seat to wait for Joe to come. Nicole came over and hugged me again.

“Nikki… I’m so sorry.”

“Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“But-”

“ANYTHING, Robin,” she insisted more sternly. I sighed as I rested my head on her shoulder.

“This was bound to happen. I got one too, only it was a lot nastier. I think they were sent by the same person, maybe Jason… Asshole’s not even supposed to be back yet.”

“It might’ve been Brittany too… She pretty much blew her chance at Homecoming because of me.” I exhaled slowly then glanced around. “Um… Where’s Ally?”

“She went to tell Jen and Chelsea what happened.” She reached a hand up, gently brushing my hair out of my face and back over my ear. I couldn’t help smiling a little as she stared back at me. God I loved her so much right then.

“Are you okay now?” she asked softly. I couldn’t help, as odd as it sounded and felt, thinking of Aria Blade, looking back on Raven Wing’s temporarily crippled form.

I gave a weak nod. “I’m okay now. It’s just empty words.” I wanted to believe that, but the ‘or else’ at the end made it seem so much more.

Only five minutes had passed when the office door opened. Joe and Carol both barged inside. Carol looked positively frantic, and Joe like he wanted to rip someone’s intestines out and use them for a jump rope. They both rushed over to me.

“Robin, are you alright?” Carol asked. I nodded before standing to hug both of them. I’d by now managed to compose myself at least, but my makeup had to be ruined.

“I’m okay now. There’s supposed to be someone coming to get my statement then I can go home. … Speaking of which, I need to call Kelly. We were all going to watch Jen’s cheer practice while we did our homework, then go out for pizza, but now…”

“I already called on the way over,” Carol responded reassuringly, adding a moment later, “Where’s Allison?”

As Nicole explained where their missing daughter had run off to, the office door opened again. This time I caught a glimpse of a familiar, blonde French braid just as Officer Garrett moved right past me, ignoring the secretary and heading straight into Principal Rochelle’s office.

The entire office fell silent as a graveyard at midnight. We all held our collective breaths and waited for that door to open again. Finally, Officer Garrett stepped out, approaching me.

“Robin Smith,” she spoke calmly, even smiling a little, “We have to stop meeting like this young lady.”

I managed a weak laugh. “I agree.”

“Now, do you want to tell me what happened?”

“Well, you’ve seen the note, right?” I waited for her to nod, continuing, “I just went to my locker to get my books, when I found that there. Nikki says she got one too,” I added. Nicole frowned nervously as she produced the note, handing it to Officer Garrett.

The police woman scowled as she looked at the note. “These are definitely from the same person — or persons. The photo is the same in both. I assume you want to press charges?”

I nodded quickly. “Yes. I… I can’t just let whoever did this get away with it,” I offered softly.

“I understand. Alright, I just need you to sign this,” she offered her clipboard, glancing at Nicole, “What about you?”

Nicole quickly nodded. “Yes, but I have to talk to my dad first. He’s going to want his own lawyer in on this. Nobody messes with a Morgan.” She smiled with far more confidence than I felt.

The officer nodded, taking the clipboard back from Joe. “Just have your dad’s lawyer contact Alpine Springs police department. Ms. Smith’s name will be on the incident report. Meanwhile the school’s going to turn over its security tapes to try and see who could have done this. When did you last check your locker by the way — either of you?”

“Um… Just before the end of last period for me.”

“Yeah, same for me.” Nicole added.

“That’s going to narrow it down quite a bit. Do you know anyone specifically that might’ve done this?”

“Stacey Peterson, Brittany Scott, and Jason Beaumont have all been giving me crap since school started. Stacey’s not that petty or stupid, and I don’t think Brit would sink this low… And Jason is supposed to be suspended.”

“What about the other guy who jumped you?” Nicole added. Officer Garrett gave me a skeptical glance.

“Jason Beaumont and another boy attacked me after school a couple of weeks ago. I never got the other kid’s name but Principal Rochelle knows who it is. He was in in-school suspension last week, but I don't know about this week.”

“We’ll look into it and let you know what we find out. Congratulations on Homecoming, for what it’s worth,” she added with a wry smile, patting my shoulder. I couldn’t help myself and hugged her in return.

“Thanks Officer Garrett. Coming from you that means a lot to me.”

She smiled as she turned to step back into the Principal’s private office. Meanwhile Carol, Joe, and of course Nicole walked me out of the main office. Allison joined us as we walked outside, and out in front of the school, sitting in the waiting squad car, Officer Garrett’s partner waved at us. I waved meekly back as we passed, heading out to the parking lot, for the long drive home.

When we pulled into the drive, Mom was waiting for us. I could tell she had been crying by the brief glimpse I was afforded before she scooped me up in her arms, holding me tightly.

“Carol called and told me the school called. Why didn’t you call me honey?” She insisted, sounding more than a little upset, and understandably so.

“I’m sorry… Principal Rochelle wanted to call you, but I thought it’d be better if you heard it from me, that way I could give you the good news too.”

“Sweetheart… You never, ever have to hide anything from me, or temper it with good news.” She spoke softly as she stroked my hair. I buried myself in her warm embrace, sighing softly.

“I’m the Sophomore Maid for our Homecoming Court. It feels like kind of a hollow victory now… I was so excited before I got that stupid note.”

“The police are investigating it aren’t they?” she asked me gently.

“Yeah. Officer Garrett, the lady who took our statement with the other incident this summer, said knowing the notes weren’t there when we last checked will make it easy for them to narrow it down.”

“Then you shouldn’t let this get you down. I’m upset too. I’m furious, but more than anything, I’m proud of you and Nicole both for having the courage to openly be who you both are. Now, come on inside and we can talk some more over some hot tea.” She paused, glancing at our extended ‘family’ who had until now simply watched in silence. “Would you all like some too?”

Nicole and Allison responded in unison by rushing over to hug the both of us. Carol and Joe glanced at each other and smiled, nodding. Carol offered, “That sounds wonderful, Linda. I think we could all use a little of your relaxing herbal tea after today. Congratulations by the way, Robin.”

I smiled a little as Mom led me inside, with the others close behind. It had been a roller coaster day in so many ways. I nearly fainted when Victoria gave me the news, and I thought I’d lose my lunch when I read that damned note. Now I at least had managed to get myself a step above numb, and Mom’s herbal hot tea would do wonders to help with that too.

I could only hope that whoever wrote those vicious notes to Nicole and me got exactly what they deserved, be it punishment or redemption. I’d leave that to fate to decide, as right now, all I cared about was putting it out of my mind for awhile.

~* The Grass Isn't Always Greener *~ “Oh Brittany…” Without thinking, I hugged her, which caused her to cringe fairly hard. I stepped back again. “What happened?” “Like you care…” She responded icily, trying desperately to save face and failing miserably. “Actually I do. Just because you don’t like me, doesn’t mean we’re not still teammates.” “The cops came and pulled me out of class earlier. They held me for like, an hour asking me a bunch of questions.” She looked like she might lose it any second, even as she scowled at me. “What the hell did you tell them?”

---

“Bobby Nelson? Seriously?” I couldn’t believe my ears. How did he even get our home phone number? Margie stood expectantly in the doorway of my bedroom, holding the cordless phone, and Allison and Jennifer watched from the floor. Finally I released Nicole’s hand, standing from my cushy bed and approaching.

“H-hello?”

“Robin, hey!”

“Um… Hi Bobby. How are you?” I answered nervously as I sat down again. We had cleared up our little ‘misunderstanding’ awhile ago, and I had even set him up on a date with one of the girls in our English class. Beyond that we hardly ever talked though.

“Well, I heard that you haven’t chosen an escort for Homecoming yet, and I was wondering if I could escort you? I mean, I know I’m not a star quarterback or anything, but I just thought I’d ask anyway. I mean, I know you’re dating that Nikki girl,” he fumbled nervously, “So I’m not like, looking for a date or anything…”

I giggled a little. “Um, sure Bobby. I don’t see why not. I didn’t know you played football though.”

“Hey!” He laughed, “That was below the belt! Just because I’m on the second string JV.”

“Oh I didn’t mean it like that! I literally mean I don’t know anyone on the team. The girls and I were supposed to talk about it after school, but…” My face fell. Nicole immediately stood and wrapped me in a hug, resting her head on my shoulder. I smiled meekly at her. The incident earlier that day had still been fresh in my mind; Mom’s hot tea helped a little though.

“But what?” he finally asked, making me painfully aware that I’d forced a long, awkward silence between us.

“Er, well… I don’t know if I should say until the police finish their investigation. Somebody put a nasty note in my locker threatening me to drop out of the Homecoming ceremony calling me a ‘lesbian’ bi… Err…witch-with-a-b. Nikki got an even nastier one.”

“Are you serious?” His tone shifted. He sounded positively livid. “If I find out who did that they’re gonna be a big greasy spot in the parking lot. I mean it’d be one thing if you were some stuck up jerk, but I mean come on, you came back and apologized after shooting me down, and things with Becky have been going really well thanks to you. You don’t deserve that kind of crap.”

“What did he say?” Allison whispered as the smile crept across my lips. I wanted to cry at that moment, but held it in for now. That someone I only barely knew would defend my honor like that…

“Thanks Bobby. That means so much to me. I knew people would freak out about this sooner or later, but the notes were just downright nasty. Whoever it is is in deep though because Nikki’s dad’s bringing their lawyer in too.”

“They deserve whatever they get. Like I said, if it was someone like that Stacey chick, y’know, the stuck-up cheerleader? Then I could see it. Anyway, thanks for accepting the offer! I already talked it over with Becky before I called. Well, actually it was her idea.” He paused, adding sheepishly, “She said escorting you would boost my reputation with the guys and maybe get Coach to reconsider me for first string, but at least you know I’m on your side, right?”

I giggled a little as I sat down on the edge of my bed. “Hey, at least you’re honest. I’m honored that you guys think so highly of me though. I’ll tell Victoria first thing tomorrow that I’ve made my choice for escort. See you in class?”

“Totally. See you tomorrow.”

“Oh, Bobby? Do me a favor and don’t mention the notes to anyone yet. Right now you, me, Nicole, Allison, Jennifer, Chelsea, and Maria are the only ones who know about it. I want to keep it low key until they review the security footage.”

“Oh, sure, no problem. Becky’s here right now so I’ll have to explain to her why I was so pissed a minute ago, but our lips are sealed!”

I turned off the phone, only now realizing Margie had waited the whole time, and smiled a bit as I offered it to her.

“Well?” They all practically asked in unison. I giggled. “Um… Bobby asked if he could escort me next week at the Homecoming ceremony. He seemed pretty upset about the notes too, like, genuinely upset, so I think we can cross his name off the list of suspects.”

Nicole nodded. “For what it’s worth I’m not even thinking about it anymore. There’s like, seven hundred or more students at our school, and any one of them could’ve done it. We just have to wait and see what the police turn up. Besides, if someone actually tries to back up their threat I’m pretty sure you could ninja kick them into next Tuesday.” She giggled, causing Allison and Jennifer to giggle too.

Margie bent down to hug me, adding, “She’s right, kiddo. If you spend all week second-guessing everyone, then you’re just going to let them win, and you won’t have any fun getting ready for Homecoming. You still have to get fitted for your dress and your shoes.”

“Hey that’s right!” Allison chimed in, “Margie do you do this sort of thing too?”

My sister shook her head. “My store carries a limited selection of prom dresses in the spring, but the school’s traditionally had a contract with another shop in town. I don’t take it personally though. They’ve been doing the Homecoming gowns for years.”

As Margie stepped out, Jennifer glanced between Allison and me, grinning mischievously. “So, ladies, have you thought any more about what we’re doing for Halloween? I mean, besides helping plan the party for the Scouts.”

“Wait, what party for the scouts?” I interrupted. At the last meeting in mid-September we talked about the various goings-on in our ‘troop’, gossiped about how our summers had been, and there seemed to be some rumblings about an important birthday in a couple of months, but nothing about a party. It made sense though, being Halloween, that we’d probably do something.

Jennifer giggled, “Sorry, I keep forgetting you and Nikki are new to all this. You know who Juliette Gordon Low is right?”

“Sure. She founded the scouts in 1912.”

“Right. Well, her birthday is October 31, so it’s kind of a tradition for scouts to throw a huge Halloween Birthday blowout in her honor. We dress up in-costume and serve cake and stuff. It’s really fun just to relax and hang out with other scouts of all ages, and just y’know, have fun for a couple of hours.”

“That sounds like fun. We could even do themed costumes.” This time, MY mischievous grin garnered their attention.

“Disney Princesses!” Allison squealed. Nicole outright groaned, falling back into my bed, causing Jennifer to cackle.

“Oh my God, yes! Robin, you could be Belle, Ally you’d make an adorable Cinderella with that hair. I could probably pull off Pocahontas with my skin tone, and Nikki-”

Nikki sat up, staring at Jennifer.

“What? You thought Robin was the only Disney freak in our clique?” She grinned.

“ANY-way, Nikki, you’d make an adorable Ariel.”

“You want me to be a fish?” She laughed.

“Nooo, silly! Ariel has some really pretty dresses in human form. Not just her wedding dress, but also when she and Prince Erik have dinner together, she wore this adorable pink ball gown. It might not be recognizable enough though.”

I giggled. “Maybe if she brushes her hair with a fork?” The entire room exploded into a gigglebomb at that. Even Nicole laughed, rolling her eyes.

“I’ll meet you in the middle and go as Snow White, just this once.”

“ Are we still going to have a second party Halloween night too?”

Nicole nodded. “I talked to my folks about that one last week actually. They said as long as there’s no booze, and as long as it’s chaperoned we can have the back garden for entertainment and the dining hall for food.”

The size of Nicole’s family’s house could not be overstated enough. What they called a dining hall was easily half the size of our school cafeteria, and the garden, full of perfectly manicured (including a few of those weird ‘sculpted to look like an animal/shape/person things), marble statues, fountains, and plenty of places to hang lights and decorations. Nicole’s dad made some very shrewd investments in his younger years, but they remained pretty down-to-earth people for the most part.

“I’m trying to get us some live entertainment too. The band’s agent I’m trying to hire told me they might be in our area for another private party anyway, and since I’m the first person to ask about a Halloween gig, that they might take me up on it.”

Allison and I looked at each other, neither of us saying a word until Jennifer cleared her throat. “That sounds awesome Nikki!” she added, breaking the silence and verbally elbowing us, so to speak. Before she could respond, Margie called from downstairs.

“Nikki, your mom’s here!”

“Shoot!” she grumbled, turning to plant a soft kiss on my cheek as she hugged me tightly. “She doesn’t know about the notes yet. I’ll break it to her when I get home though. No sense in her having a freak-out in your living room. I’ll call you later okay? We can get Ally and Jen on conference after Mom calms down. I just know she’s going to have a bison.”

I tried to keep a straight face at that last comment, but failed miserably, giggling as I hugged her, returning the kiss. “Good luck. Call me if you need moral support.”

She smiled wryly as she nodded. She grabbed her backpack on the way out, and after we heard the front door close, I fell back on my bed. I laughed. “So what are the odds she’s trying to book Heedless Despair?”

“Pretty good, actually.” Jennifer giggled. “I mean, her birthday’s like, a week before Halloween so it makes sense they’d still be here. I’m surprised they’d be willing to do two shows here though. Alpine Springs isn’t exactly huge, so when word gets out that they’re here this place is going to be a paparazzi playground.”

“Why’s that?” I sat up again, glancing at the other two.

“It’s because of the theatrics,” Allison explained. “See, HD have never been photographed without their makeup and costumes. They, like a lot of us fans, believe that the magic’s in the mystery. They do these crazy macabre antics on stage, and we all know it’s not real, but we can suspend disbelief for awhile. But some British tabloid’s offering a HUGE reward for photographs of them in street clothes.”

“Ugh. Some people… Why can’t they just accept that they’re doing fans a huge disservice by trying to unmask them? It’s like going up to a magician and saying ‘Dude, your wires are showing!’”

Jennifer giggled. “Worse. If a magician’s wires are showing he’s probably a pretty bad magician, but HD’s stage effects are top-notch. Like the time their bassist and guitarist got into a duel on-stage. The bassist stabbed the guitarist. Fake blood everywhere, and at the end of the song she was ‘resurrected’ as a zombie. It was awesome.”

We talked for quite awhile after that, and eventually parted ways for the night. Allison and Kelly wanted to spend some sister-time together, and Jennifer wanted to get an early start on party planning, now with three separate parties to think about, I couldn’t blame her.

School the next day was thankfully business as usual. I found another note in my locker, and I couldn’t help thinking that whoever left is must have been pretty upset that I hadn’t dropped out yet. The attached picture had been defaced even more, with more ‘colorful’ language. I turned it in to the office, gave them a timeframe, and left it at that.

No one had tried anything physical yet, so I found myself more and more refusing to be bullied like this. Wednesday afternoon things finally came to a head though, but in the absolute last way I had expected.

Just after lunch, I had gone into the Girls’ room to wash my hands. As I touched up my lip gloss I thought I heard someone sniffling. When I stepped closer to the one closed stall on the far end, I saw a pair of sneakers shoot straight up, so I quietly knocked.

“Hey, are you okay in there?”

Silence. Memories of Allison’s refusal to leave me alone in my sordid state all those months ago came flooding back.

“I know you’re in there… Look, if you want to be alone that’s fine, but just tell me you’re not considering doing something stupid and I’ll leave you alone, okay?”

The sneakers slooowly slid down to the floor. To my complete and stunned shock, Brittany opened the door. Her eyes, puffy and red, to say nothing of her mascara looking like she’d just come from a Zombie Apocalypse movie filming added to the comic tragedy.

“Oh Brittany…” Without thinking, I hugged her, which caused her to cringe fairly hard. I stepped back again. “What happened?”

“Like you care…” She responded icily, trying desperately to save face and failing miserably.

“Actually I do. Just because you don’t like me, doesn’t mean we’re not still teammates.”

“The cops came and pulled me out of class earlier. They held me for like, an hour asking me a bunch of questions.” She looked like she might lose it any second, even as she scowled at me. “What the hell did you tell them?”

“Brit, I didn’t ‘tell them’ anything. Someone’s been leaving nasty, and I mean brutally venomous notes in my locker threatening me. I gave them a list of everyone that’s given me crap since I came here, including yours, but I made sure to tell them I didn’t think any of you would be stupid enough to actually try something.”

“You’re right. I didn’t, but I know who did.” She shifted back defensively, as though she expected me to strike her.

“Did you put them up to it?”

“No, of course not! It was…” she sighed. “I was pissed off, okay? I was upset that you made Homecoming maid and not me because a bunch of Scrub freshmen decided to vote for you after what happened at our first practice. I was blowing off steam, ranting to my boyfriend. He told me not to worry about it, that everything would be okay… I… I had no idea he’d do something this insanely stupid!” At this point she practically fell backwards onto the vacant toilet seat behind her, completely losing it.

“Now I’m probably gonna get thrown out of school as an accessory. I mean who in their right mind would stand up for me now? God it’s just not fair. You get everything handed to you, and all I do is say something to vent about it and I get this!”

I stood dumbfounded. Did she honestly think my life was so easy?

“Brittany… My life is pretty damn far from easy,” I tried to maintain an even tone, but the more her words echoed in my mind, the more infuriated I felt. “At my last school I was the least popular person there. EVERYONE hated me, or wanted a piece of me because they knew I wouldn’t fight back. Then this past summer, when I thought I finally escaped it, I had some psychotic sex offender try and kidnap my friend Allison and me. He even broke into a guy’s house trying to chase us down after I tried to pepper spray him.

“I still sometimes have nightmares about that freak. I started taking self-defense because of it. Then when I started school, that Jason creep tried to attack me, not once but twice. People like you and Stacey Peterson are constantly riding my ass because you think I’m some kind of threat to your popularity, and now I’ve got your boyfriend threatening my life if I don’t drop out of the Homecoming thing. To top it off, I’m not even allowed to change with the rest of you, which wouldn’t bother me except that it gives people like you even more ammo to use against me, so no, my life is NOT easy!”

I exhaled finally and took a few steps back, staring at her. “I… I’m sorry.” I turned to walk away, bumping right into, of all people, Maria. She frowned, turning to watch as I moved to the sink to splash some water on my face. I could only assume Brittany was talking to her.

“Save your breath. Robin already yelled at me, my boyfriend hates me now, and I’ll probably get thrown out of school, so just don’t say a damn word!”

“So-rry… For what it’s worth I’d stick up for you though. And Robin will too once she calms down.”

“I doubt that. I wouldn’t if I were her,” she sobbed.

I breathed a long, drawn-out sigh, slowly turning to walk back toward the two. I offered Brittany my hand. “Be glad I’m not you then. I’ve been telling Maria and everyone else who’s asked me why I put up with you the same thing every time. It’s not worth my energy to be upset. I know all of this is supposed to be one big game, a power play. It’s what girls DO in high school. Your boyfriend doesn’t understand that, and he took it way too far, but I will stand up on your behalf if you can look me in the eyes and tell me you didn’t mean what he wrote.”

She hesitantly took my hand, pulling herself up. We stared at each other in silence for several long seconds, before she finally nodded. “I didn’t mean what he wrote. I didn’t even know he wrote it until the police confronted me about it, and claimed that since my name was dropped, I could be ‘liable as an accessory’ or something. I swear, I never meant for any of this to happen. I was just jealous… I thought that maybe, if I won Maid this year, my dad might finally remember he has a daughter, not a future cash cow for the talent scouts to check out.”

“Brit… I’m sorry. For what it’s worth I don’t even have a father,” I offered softly. “My dad… left us when I was little, and got himself killed in an industrial accident a few years later.”

“Sorry I gave you so much crap before. I guess the grass really isn’t always greener on the other side huh?”

Maria smiled, “Walk a mile in another’s shoes before you judge them. That way you’re a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”

Brittany and I stared at Maria for a moment, then each other, and finally started laughing as what she said slowly sunk in.

“You are so weird… I guess I should apologize to you for that ‘speak American’ crap before too.”

Maria shrugged. “I’m not even an immigrant. I’m an exchange student from Guadalajara. You’d know that if you asked first, but… if you want to know more you know where to find me.” A genuine smile crossed her lips. “Let’s just all start fresh, okay? You guys can have your political stuff. I’m just here to play basketball and have fun.”

“And I’ll talk to the Principal right now. If I have to I’ll go to the police too. I’ve dealt with the policewoman who took my initial report before, so if I just explain it to her… maybe I can convince her that it was all a misunderstanding. Your boyfriend’s up a creek though… I’m sorry. There’s nothing I can do about him.”

She heaved a sigh. “It’s my fault for dating a pig-headed jerk. And I hear Bobby Nelson’s off the market thanks to you too.” She managed a quiet, sincere laugh at that.

“Hey, if I meet anymore eligible guys that aren’t total pricks I’ll send them your way.”

I left Maria to help Brittany clean up, while I made my way to the school office. As I stepped inside, Principal Rochelle immediately stepped in front of me. “As you well know Ms. Gale, our school’s policy remains the best interest of its students foremost. Furthermore due to the ongoing criminal investigation, and in the best interest of all students involved, the district is not at liberty to release any names without parental consent. Now if you’ll please kindly leave, I have a school to run.”

Tina Gale, Channel 2 Action News New Haven, scowled at his response. “I know you’re hiding something Matt. Come on, off the record, what’s really going on here?”

“Off the record, Tina, what’s going on here is a student’s personal privacy is at risk of being violated by a nosey ex-girlfriend. Please, I’m asking you as a friend, respect these kids’ privacy? If the court decides to release any names to the public, that’s one thing, but you’re asking me to throw myself to the ACLU here.”

She sighed, slowly nodding. “Alright, Matt, alright. You win. I’ll drop it for now, but you still owe me something.” She gave me a peculiar glance as she passed, but continued on out of the office.

Principal Rochelle exhaled slowly as he turned to me. “Please, please tell me you didn’t find another note?”

I shook my head. “No, but that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“They have one suspect already and they’re investigating another, and with MISS Gale,” he emphasized the ‘Miss’ callously, “snooping around too… I need a vacation.”

“Sorry sir,” I offered. “I realize this hasn’t been any easier on you than it has on me. The thing is their second suspect is innocent.”

“Do you have proof?” I heard the office door open behind me, but didn’t look to see who had entered. I shook my head. “No, but I talked to her. Look, Brittany is a lot of things, but she’s not vicious enough to cross this boundary either.” I tried to explain as best I could what Brittany had told me, how it was all just a misunderstanding that her boyfriend took too far. Admittedly I was still learning how these power struggles worked too, but I really owed my sister and Kelly for explaining it to me, or I never would’ve believed her myself.

“So I’m asking that no action be taken against her. If it comes out later, and I mean absolute proof that she was involved, then I’ll press charges against her myself, but until then, she’s still innocent until proven guilty just like everyone else.”

A weathered, older male voice spoke up behind me, “Well said, Ms. Smith. It is Ms. Smith right? Or are you Ms. Morgan?”

I spun around to come face to… well… chest with a man in a dark brown suit. His thick, graying mustache and glasses made me think of the police commissioner from those Aria Blade comic books I’d become so fond of recently. He produced his badge for me to inspect as he continued.

“I was just coming to discuss with Mr. Rochelle the outcome of our findings, and while it’s true that Ms. Scott’s apparent boyfriend did act alone, at least insofar as we can tell from surveillance footage, he claimed she told him to do it, and she claimed she never said any such thing. If you would be willing to sign a statement to the effect of what you’ve just told Mr. Rochelle, I’ll wrap things up and turn everything over to Juvie.”

I nodded. “I’ll have to get my family lawyer involved before I sign anything, sir, but I’ll stand by what I’ve said. Brittany was upset and jealous, but she didn’t mean for it to go this far, and I can’t sit by and watch her get punished for having poor brain to mouth impulse control.”

He genuinely laughed at that and nodded, smiling a little. “Fair enough. I’ll have everything drawn up and sent to your contact address, then you can take it from there, but I’ll need that statement returned in seventy-two hours, whether or not you sign it, alright?”

“Yes sir. Thank you sir.”

I left out of the office with a new spring in my step. It’s amazing what the threat of criminal charges can do for someone’s outlook. Brittany had gone from Queen of the School to simpering pile of emotional slop over the course of one day. I couldn’t blame her though, and in truth I did feel kind of sorry for her. I didn’t expect we’d just magically be friends now, but at least I could move on with Homecoming plans with a clear conscience now.

Speaking of Homecoming plans, the Homecoming ‘court’ met at lunch the day before to discuss fittings for this afternoon! Mom gave me a ride after school to the dress shop. As we pulled into the parking lot, I suddenly felt a wave of emotions wash over me. A mix of unease and excitement felt almost to surge through every fiber of my being at once.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Mom’s concerned tone carried over my thoughts.

“I just realized I’ve never been ‘fitted’ before. I mean, there’s a reason I don’t change for gym or basketball with the other girls…”

She smiled as she squeezed my hand. “Oh, you don’t have to worry about that. I looked into it a few days ago, and they use completely private dressing rooms. You’re completely safe.”

I breathed a deeply relieved sigh at those words. “Thank God. I thought I was going to pass out for a second there.”

“I noticed!” she replied with a laugh. “Really, you need to just relax and have fun. Do you want me to come with you?”

“Someone has to embarrass me by taking a ton of pictures. It may as well be you,” I teased.

Her face absolutely lit up at that. She reached under the driver’s seat, pulling out Margie’s digital camera. “One step ahead of you honey.” She gave me one of those patented cheeky Mom grins as we stepped out and entered.

In truth, the fitting itself was pretty anti-climactic for the first half. They took our measurements and had us each stand barefoot on a stool in our street clothes while they evaluated us. There were ten girls involved in total — junior high maids for seventh and eighth grades, and Freshman, Sophomore, Junior, and Senior Maids, although the term ‘maid’ may have been a bit misleading. More like Ladies of Court, but it’s so much easier to say ‘Maid’, I guess.

We all started to get excited once we finally saw our gowns, though! Keeping with the tradition of our school colors, purple and gold, the Ladies of Court would wear long, flowing purple evening gowns that almost looked like something out of Victorian England, minus the ridiculous frills, hoops, corsetry and stuff, and our Queen, a gorgeous gold silk gown of a similar style with rich, purple embroidery, though truthfully, at first I thought they’d mistakenly picked out a wedding gown. It truly was a magnificent dress, and Victoria wore it well, with very few alterations needed.

Mine, on the other hand, had been made for someone a few inches taller, and poor Julie, our seventh grade Maid, looked like she might completely get lost in hers! With the pins for our alterations in place, we were finally allowed to step down, and on entering my private changing room I had to stop and stare. It wasn’t until I actually, physically saw my reflection that it finally sank in for me. My peers voted me as their representative, over someone like Chelsea or any number of other, to my mind prettier girls.

With the fitting behind us, and many, many embarrassing photos with promises to pass copies around to parents later, we finally started home. I couldn’t help reflecting on the events of the last couple of days. Two chances to see an apparently hot Euro Goth band, THREE parties to plan, including two Halloween parties on the same day, and the situation with Nicole’s and my apparent stalker settled remarkably painlessly. I wondered how many kids had to suffer for the system to be willing to react so quickly, or if it was because Max and the ACLU were so closely watching, waiting like one of those mother eagles on a nature show to swoop in and peck someone’s eyes out.

At least for the Girl Scout Halloween party, there would be more than just a handful of CITs to help with the planning. And now I could dress up as Belle for that party, while still enacting my other planned costume for Nicole’s party that night. Mwa ha ha.

~* The Other Mrs. Smith *~ “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I just cannot wrap my mind around this. Linda’s little boy… is a girl now? That makes no sense.” “It makes perfect sense, mother. You’d realize that if you had been listening. I’m not asking you to love her. I’m not even asking that you treat her like my sister. I’m just asking that you don’t hurt her feelings. She’s been through so much with Linda’s illness and her transitioning.” “But how can a boy in a dress even be accepted at school?” I felt my knees wobble, and sank to the stairs, sitting as I listened to their conversation. So many terrible memories came flooding back at those words. Memories of fears I had until now forgotten.

---

“Robin, get your head in the game!” Coach Wilson shouted, catching my attention. I smiled wryly, taking the pass from Chelsea and dribbling the basketball down the court. I narrowly avoided slamming into Brittany as I went up for a three-pointer. She scowled, shouting.

“Foul!”

I stopped abruptly and gave her a puzzled stare. “Um… Wait, what?”

She rolled her eyes, patting the top of my head patronizingly. Coach Wilson, to her credit, tried so hard not to giggle. “She’s right. I know you didn’t actually touch her, but some refs like to err on the side of caution. You’ve got to really watch what you’re doing out there against the other team.” She nodded toward my former nemesis with a smile. “Good call, Brit.”

Brittany smiled smugly at me, passing the ball to Chelsea, and Maria, Brittany’s opposite for our practice two-on-two game, immediately moved to try and block her. This time around Chelsea faked a pass. Maria hadn’t seen me moving around to the other side, so I only had to worry about getting past Brittany this time. I grabbed the ball and spun around with my back to her. As soon as I saw my shot, I took it, this time managing to avoid nearly knocking Brittany on her backside.

“Nice work, Robin!” Coach cheered as she approached us. “That’s what I like to see. Great hustle. Alright, that concludes the tryouts. Maria, Robin, hit the showers. I want to have a word with Brit and Chels a moment.”

Maria and I nodded in unison and turned to jog off the court. Practice had gone exceedingly well both in our two on two, three on three, and full team on team sets, and we had enough girls interested ultimately to fill out a full team plus substitutes in case of injury. As we neared the girls’ locker hall, Maria glanced back over her shoulder.

“What do you suppose that was about?”

“Dunno. If it was just Chelsea I’d say something about picking the team captain, but Coach has been riding Brittany’s butt pretty hard ever since word got out that it was her boyfriend stalking me.” I breathed a slow sigh. “I feel kind of bad for her.”

“Well, it was her big mouth that got her into this, but yeah, I think she’s been kinda hard on her too. Anyway, see you after? Oh hey, before I forget again, rumor around school is you guys are planning a big party. Can I come?”

“Well, actually we’re planning three. Which one did you hear about?”

“THREE?! Sweet Santa Maria, and I thought Gabriella liked to party!” She shook her head slowly. “But the one I heard about was someone’s sweet sixteen.”

“Oh, yes! Nikki’s birthday. It’s going to be huge! Can you keep a secret?”

“Absolutely! I mean, obviously someone’s been keeping secrets, as all anybody knows is you guys are up to something.” She grinned that adorable grin of hers. Someday soon, some poor boy’s heart would be putty in her hands.

“Well, there’s this really hot Euro goth band called Heedless Despair-” was as far as I could get before she practically squealed.

“OHMYGOD! You got-”

“Shh!”

“Right, sorry! But… You’re serious?! That is amazing! When?”

“A week from this Tuesday. We’re renting out the conference room at the local hotel, but the band’s going to stay at a different hotel to throw off nosey reporters. The other two parties are for our Girl Scout troop, and Nikki’s Halloween party, both on Halloween, but you’re welcome to come to those too. We’re actually going to work on invitations this weekend because I’ll be distracted with Homecoming next week, and probably be too exhausted next weekend to really think straight.”

“Yeah, no kidding; you were already pretty distracted out there on the court today. But don’t worry, I don’t think it affected Coach Wilson’s evaluation.”

“Shouldn’t you two have hit the showers by now?” Chelsea interrupted us as she approached. I turned to offer her a sheepish smile. “Yeah, I’m just on my way now. I was just telling Maria about our big Halloween plans. Expect an invite next week — all three of you.” I made sure to include Brittany. She had by now managed to return to icy indifference toward me after our little fiasco with her boyfriend earlier this week, but it honestly felt forced at this point, like she only acted that way because she felt everyone expected it from her.

I spent a good fifteen minutes in the coaches’ private shower, remembering this time to bring my gym bag with me so I could change afterwards. I had so much on my mind though, that I found it so easy to let myself go in the steamy mist. As I left the bathroom behind though, my cell phone rang.

“Are you going to answer that?” Coach Wilson shot me an annoyed glance. I had been staring at the caller ID for several seconds now, trying to figure out the weird number being displayed. After it stopped ringing, I turned to hand the phone off to her.

“I’ve never seen any number being displayed like that before.”

She looked at the phone for only a moment before handing it back to me with a smile. “International caller. I don’t know the codes, but it looks like someone out of country tried to call you.”

“Out of country? … Who on earth would want to call m-” and as if on cue it started ringing again.

“Hello?”

A sweet, melodious female voice answered. I got the distinct impression she was trying to annunciate her words, but her brogue came through all the same. I couldn’t quite decide whether it sounded more Scottish or Irish, though truth be told my exposure to either had been so limited before now that I wouldn’t have known anyway.

“Ah, hello there, is this Roben Smeth?”

“Err… Yes, this is Robin. Who’s this?”

“I was hoping to talk to you about yer friend’s birthday party. Well, more about yer friend herself, actually, if ya have a minute?”

“Wait, I thought Allison said HD’s agent was a guy?”

She chuckled. “Yes, he is. And a fine one at that.”

“Wait, so you’re… Oh wow.”

“Yes, I am, but for the sake of keeping up appearances let’s just avoid names. Now, yer friend?”

“Right, sorry. Um Nikki… Well, what do you want to know?” I shifted my weight nervously. I had a member of Heedless freaking Despair on MY cell phone! Allison must have given them my contact information with hers or something. I moved to sit on the sofa as the nameless voice continued.

“Well, for starters our bassist wants to know what kind of girl she is?”

“I could talk all day about her, but first I have to ask why you want to know all this?”

“I’ll be honest with you, Roben. We don’t normally do private parties anymore, but when yer friend Alleson mentioned this Nikki girl is our Bassist’s biggest fan, it caught her attention.” She paused, sounding as though stifling a quiet laugh. “And since we’d already be touring the Northeastern States anyway, we figured… why not? But we’re all sorts of curious why you girls are going to all this trouble for someone’s sweet sixteen party.”

“Ohh, well that makes sense. Um… Well, I know this is going to sound weird, but can I ask your confidentiality with this? I mean you can tell your bass player and the rest of the band, but please no one else. It’s really, really important.”

Her serious tone, perhaps as much as her response, assured me her trust. “Yes, of course.”

“The thing is, when Nikki was young, her real father brutally abused her. It wasn’t until she was ten that it all came out and her father was sent to prison. Her mother tried to start some trouble with her foster parents later too, making up lies about them being unfit. Basically, she’s had a very, very hard life, and Ally wanted to try and make up for it. Honestly, I do too. She’s my best friend, but she’s more than that. She’s… Er, well, special to me. Ally told me she didn’t actually expect a response from you guys, but we’re both like, really excited that you did respond.”

“I see…” she replied. She didn’t say anything more, so I just kept going.

“Oh, as far as that whole… Idolize your bassist thing, she actually plays bass herself. I first met her the day before she was supposed to go to this music camp…” I proceeded to explain to this total stranger how Nikki and I met, unwittingly admitting that I fell head-over-heels for her that day, which did at least elicit a laugh from my foreign caller.

“That gives me an idea though. You want to make her birthday extra special. I’ll talk to the girls and see what we can come up with. Would you be willing to participate in our show?”

“W-what?” I stuttered. Coach Wilson looked up from the clipboard she had been busily writing away on, eyeing me.

“Would you like to participate in our show? Here’s what I’m thinking; if you can come up with two or three more friends, then the four of you could…” She proceeded to explain her off-the-top-of-her-head plan, and the more I heard, the more I loved it. Nicole would love it too. When I finally turned off my phone, Coach Wilson set her clipboard down and watched me stand. I couldn’t help giggling.

“Um… That was one of the members of the band we asked to play at Nikki’s Sweet Sixteen in a couple of weeks. They want me and a few friends to be part of the show to set Nikki up for a HUGE birthday surprise on-stage.” I giggled, long and with reckless abandon.

Coach Wilson shook her head and laughed, apparently at my enthusiasm. “You girls… I swear. Listen, if you run into Chelsea or Brittany tell them to stop by my office. I’ve made a decision on who our captains will be.”

“Captains, plural?”

She nodded. “I’ve been riding Brittany hard this week. I wanted to make sure she wouldn’t buckle under pressure like she did with you. She probably thinks I hate her, but I’ve actually been testing her to see if she can handle it, so she and Chels will be our two co-captains this year. I was ready to throw her off the team before she even tried out, but Matt told me how you stood up for her, so I hope you’re right.”

“Awesome! Uhm, I’ll try not to spoil the surprise until you’ve told them.” I added, grabbing my purple gym bag on the way out. Allison stood waiting just outside, arms folded.

“It’s about time! I thought you got lost in there or something.”

I started giggling again. “Ally, you’ll never believe who just called me…”

The rest of our weekend practically flew by. Mom and Sensei Rogers made dinner reservations Saturday night, as did Nicole and I, mercifully at different restaurants. Nicole had by now begun to get suspicious that we were up to something; as we sat at our now familiar table at Chez Marceau, dressed to kill just like our first date, I contemplatively chewed a bite of Chef Marceau’s incredibly juicy chicken platter, the name of which I still couldn’t hope to pronounce.

“What?” she asked thoughtfully, reaching across the table to squeeze my hand in hers. I shook my head.

“I’m sorry. I can’t lie to you anymore Nikki. We are up to something. We’re planning you a surprise party. Promise you’ll still act surprised?” I hated lying to her. Well, half-lying. I knew very well she wouldn’t have to act the moment she saw what we had done.

She smiled softly, “Oh Robin, of course I’ll act surprised! It’s so sweet that you guys are going to all this trouble. It really means a lot to me. Even more knowing you felt guilty about keeping something like this from me.” Oh, she had no idea.

“So are you psyched about next week?” she mercifully changed the subject, pausing after to take a sip of non-alcoholic cider from her wine glass.

I nodded. “Really nervous though. I never dressed up for spirit week at my old school, but Kelly and Margie were a big help helping me pick out what I’m going to wear each day.”

“I’ve got a pair of stiletto combat boots you can borrow for Camouflage Day if you want.”

I had to giggle at that mental image. “I’d probably break my neck, but thanks. You can wear ‘em.”

“Oh, fine, I suppose I can suffer through wearing my favorite pair of boots that day.” She tried to force a pout, but it just wasn’t working for her, both of us cracking into quiet giggles a moment later.

Sunday evening, I had managed to get my hands on the latest copy of Aria Blade. Apparently the artist had really stepped up her work, trying to finish two issues a month while publishing one to keep up demand. That’s what popular internet rumor had been, when I checked at the school library’s computer anyway.

I had been so engrossed in reading that I didn’t even hear the door open downstairs, or the ruckus of my sister greeting someone in a surprised tone. I turned excitedly to the next panel, where Aria Blade had just been thrown off the case. She sulked as she left the office building that served as a front for her former taskforce behind.

“Oh no…” I gasped as she entered a city park where none other than Raven Wing sat, dressed in civilian attire herself. That trench coat looked simply darling on her though. The two exchanged dialog briefly, and Aria dimwittedly asked if the girl needed an ambulance.

“It’s Raven, you goof! You just beat the crap out of her like, an hour ago…” I muttered, reading ahead. I had to shut my eyes for just a moment, as corny as that sounds, as I turned the last page. I slooowly slid one eye open, and managed, only barely, to suppress the squeal as I saw that terrible shadow creature batting away one of Aria’s former teammates’ psychic blasts like they were nothing.

As Raven Wing knocked Aria across the back of the head and caught her in mid-fall, swooping off into the distance with only their silhouettes in the final panel, I stood and stepped into the hall. I hadn’t eaten since lunch, so I decided to finally head down to the kitchen and find something.

I stopped on the stairs though, as I heard Margie and another, unfamiliar female voice talking.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I just cannot wrap my mind around this. Linda’s little boy… is a girl now? That makes no sense.”

“It makes perfect sense, mother. You’d realize that if you had been listening. I’m not asking you to love her. I’m not even asking that you treat her like my sister. I’m just asking that you don’t hurt her feelings. She’s been through so much with Linda’s illness and her transitioning.”

“But how can a boy in a dress even be accepted at school?”

I felt my knees wobble, and sank to the stairs, sitting as I listened to their conversation. So many terrible memories came flooding back at those words. Memories of fears I had until now forgotten.

“Mother, please! For your information, my baby sister is the Sophomore Homecoming maid. She’s poised, beautiful, and smart. If you won’t at least talk to her before you judge her, then please leave.”

I slowly stood, walking down the stairs. I leaned in the doorway to the living room. Margie’s face fell as she saw me. The woman she identified as her mother looked like some sort of professional business-woman. She stood dressed in a pretty cream-colored silk blouse and black slacks, with her thick, graying brown hair up in a bun. When she saw me, she smiled.

“Oh, hello dear. Don’t mind us. We were just discussing Margie’s little half br–I mean sister.”

I blinked a couple of times. “Um… I’m… Margie’s sister.” I answered softly.

She stared at me intently and silently for several long seconds then slowly approached, placing her hands on my shoulders. “Oh… Dear, I am so, so sorry.”

I wanted to hate her for what she had just said a few minutes before. I wanted nothing to do with her, but she was Margie’s real mom, so I resolved to be civil. I rolled my shoulders to get her hands off me, and pushed past her into the kitchen. For me, for how I felt, this was being civil.

“Now see what you’ve done?” Margie snapped angrily, turning to follow me. I had by now already opened the fridge, retrieving the package of hamburger meat I moved from the freezer to thaw. Margie approached me, but I just shook my head.

“It’s okay. I know she’s your mother and I’m not going to say anything to her. Just don’t ask me to like her.”

“Sweetheart… Robin, no, she’s wrong. You and I both know she’s wrong, and I don’t care if she’s the Pope, I will not have someone talking down about you in this house, least of all before they’ve even met you.”

The woman stepped into the kitchen, leaning in the door frame. A moist trail down her cheek where a tear had already fallen glistened in the overhead light. “It’s a sad day when a mother has to be chastised by her daughter for being judgmental. Robin, I… I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry.”

She turned to leave, and I breathed a slow sigh, setting my hamburger meat aside. I wouldn’t be getting dinner anytime soon. I practically ran to catch her, gently taking her by the arm. “Wait…” She turned back to me, confused. “Please stay. You’re family. In a way you’re kind of my step-mom as much as my real Mom is to Margie. Let me make some tea, and… maybe you can explain why you felt the way you did?”

She finally, slowly nodded, following me back into the kitchen. While I worked on dinner, the three of us talked. Jane, as Margie finally formally introduced her, explained how she had been living and working in London for a long time now.

She had a ‘flatmate’, which I can only guess was like a roommate, who bitterly hated anyone in the LGBT community. Apparently some of that bile just wore off on her over time as she grew to accept and tolerate it.

“I feel so awful. She was such a dear friend that I couldn’t throw her out just because of her political views. I hadn’t realized how deeply she had affected me until I saw how much I’d hurt the feelings of an innocent girl. Robin, can you ever forgive me?”

As I placed her and Margie’s burgers in front of them at the kitchen table, I slowly nodded. “Let’s just start fresh. Yes, what you said hurt pretty deeply, but mostly because it brought back some bad memories for me. I used to be terrified people would think I was just a ‘boy in a dress’, but my friends and my family have helped me to realize that’s not who I am. I walk, talk, think, behave, and act like a girl, even when I was trying to act like a boy.”

As we sat and ate, we talked much more about my life, before and after I stopped pretending to be Robert. Eventually the conversation drifted to what I wanted to do with my life after high school. I shrugged my shoulders, answering honestly.

“I’m not really sure yet. Part of me kind of wants to get into writing or something creative like that, but I’m not sure. If it’s not too personal to ask, why haven’t we ever met before now?”

She chuckled at that, and smiled. “That’s a fair question. To be honest, my work kept me busy for such a long time. I design wedding dresses for upscale clients. Ordinarily my ‘vacations’ typically involve traveling abroad to meet face to face with clients. I’ve tried to stay in touch with Margie, but time got away from us.”

“And I tried to tell her several times about you, and about what an amazing girl you are, but I could just never find the words… Part of this is my fault. I’m sorry Robin.”

Jane immediately shook her head. “No, I won’t allow you to take any of the blame for my foolishness. And I intend to make it up to both of you, if you’ll let me. Do you have any plans next weekend?”

“Next weekend I’ll probably be too exhausted to do anything,” I admitted with a wry smile. “Next week’s spirit week, and Homecoming that Friday.”

She laughed. “Oh, come now, surely you won’t be too exhausted for a shopping trip in New Haven? I’d take you back to London with me, but with this school social going on I don’t dare interrupt your schedule like that.”

“Um… wow. Thank you, Ms. … Um…”

“Smith, but you can call me Jane, sweetheart.” She chuckled. “Margie’s carried my maiden name ever since we threw your free-loading father out… No offense, but I kept his, I suppose to remind myself of happier times.”

“None taken. I didn’t even know him. So are you going to stay with us? You can have my room if you want.”

“That’s very kind of you dear, but I have other arrangements. I had only planned to stay for a few days, but knowing the step-daughter I never even knew I had is going to be in her school’s Homecoming ceremony this week? I certainly can’t leave now.” She smiled proudly.

Barely thirty minutes ago, I wanted nothing to do with this woman, and now I couldn’t help liking her. I had to wonder if that made me naíve, or too trusting, but she did seem genuinely apologetic for her earlier outburst. She probably expected someone like Josh: tall, built like an Abrams tank with a strong jaw and freakishly big hands and feet, whereas thanks to the miracle of puberty-blocking drugs, I had been developing as a natural, proper girl for months now.

After cleaning up our dishes, I left the room to head up to bed. I paused when I heard Margie and Jane talking again, though.

“Now do you see?”

“Yes, I do… I feel so awful, Margie. Do you really think she’ll forgive me?”

“I think she already has. You’ll find my little sister is awesome like that.”

Jane chuckled quietly. “She certainly didn’t get that from her father. I look forward to finally meeting Linda.”

I smiled at that, as I quietly ascended the stairs. I didn’t have a father, and from what I continued to learn of him, I had been better off for it. Still I at least had Mom, the Joneses, and maybe with time, Sensei Rogers might be interested in the position.

For now though, my thoughts returned to Aria Blade, and what sinister plot Raven Wing had in store for her. I picked up my comic book and neatly placed it with the others, curling up on my bed with Mister Kensington, and letting my mind wander where it may.

~* Spirit Week *~ “Come on, Brit. I’m not the enemy here and you know it.” “… I guess.” I sat down where Stacey had been sitting moments before, looking her right in the eye. “Who are you really angry with?” “I… don’t know,” she finally admitted softly. “Did Coach Wilson tell you why she chose you as co-captain instead of Allison or Maria, or any one of the other girls?” “I thought it was because I was better than everyone else, except Chelsea, but she’s like, Little Miss Perfect at everything anyway.” She rolled her eyes and turned away from me slightly.

---

Author's Note:
It occured to me that I should put a big warning at the top of this. This is a LONG chapter! I had so much to cover, but I couldn't find a good place to split it in half without leaving an unfinished (in a very bad way) feeling, so I left it intact. This is nearly twice the length of my normal chapters though, even longer than 'No PDAs' from Book One, so consider thyself warned ;-)

~Zoe
Official(? *grin*) Q of S

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With Homecoming week upon us, the four of us decided to plan out each day as a group theme. Since I had been elected as the Sophomore Maid anyway, and since the four of us were practically inseparable, we figured we may as well have some fun with it and try to earn some bonus spirit points for our grade, and with Monday being Hawaiian Lei Day, we already had a sizable leg up on the competition.

I mentioned before how Margie and Kelly helped me plan out what I’d wear this week. Admittedly I’d grown a quite a bit since Girl Scout camp in terms of ‘maturing’ and catching up on my classmates. Coupled with the magical device that is a strapless push-up bra, I found myself now able to wear a similar styled dress as the others; luckily the school relaxed dress codes during Spirit Week!

Jennifer planned to wear the strapless dresses they wore to the luau, and Margie fitted Allison and myself for new ones: Allison’s in gold, and mine in a lush, dark purple with similar flower-design. Of course, Josh’s mom was only too happy to provide us with real flowers for our leis, too. Score!

“Oh wow, you guys look great!” Chelsea exclaimed as we entered the school lobby. “You even braided your hair the same way!” she added, noticing our French braids. “Hey, let me know if you’re doing anything else like this the rest of the week!”

Jennifer giggled. “Sure thing, Chels; we’re going for bonus spirit points for doing this stuff as a group, so you are more than welcome to join in the fun.”

Nicole gave me a squeeze and grinned, slipping off for a moment to talk to a few of her other friends. I had never actually met anyone in her ‘goth’ crowd to date, but they never gave me any problems either, so I just smiled and squeezed her hand, turning back after she’d walked away and retrieving a pair of invitations that I passed to Chelsea.

“The party’s not exactly invite-only, as there’s no way we can keep something as huge as this a secret for a whole week, but still…”

“Aw, thanks Robin!” She practically squealed, hugging me. “Maria told me about it after practice. I’m not the biggest fan of you-know-who, but I wouldn’t miss Nikki’s birthday for anything.”

Nicole had no sooner rejoined us when Allison poked Jennifer’s side lightly to get her attention. “Hey, Jen, I just had a crazy idea. Y’know how at camp you gave hula lessons? Well…”

Jennifer laughed, “Ally, you are a genius! You guys still remember the basics right?” She set her backpack down and proceeded to perform a few of the more basic dance moves, with Allison and I joining in the fun a moment later. Nicole just shook her head and watched. “Nice. Now if you just mix up a little like this, Robin your Kenpo will actually help you pick this up pretty easily. It’s all in the hips!”

I hadn’t noticed, but a crowd had begun to form in a circle around us. Principal Rochelle and a handful of teachers came out of the nearby school office to watch the impromptu performance as well. I couldn’t help blushing as we finished, to thunderous applause echoing through the hall; a couple of bright flashes in rapid succession as we finished caught my attention. I looked over just in time for a third, from a mousy dark-haired girl in a cute fake lei and black t-shirt. She nervously approached us.

“Sorry… You guys don’t mind if I use this do you? It’s for the yearbook.” She seemed incredibly nervous for some reason, so I offered her a warm smile.

“Hey, not at all!”

She laughed as she sprinted off again, calling back over her shoulder, “Thanks guys!”

“That was amazing!” Chelsea exclaimed, clapping her hands together excitedly. “You said you gave lessons at camp. Could you maybe teach me that too?”

Several ‘Me too!’ and ‘Yeah, please?!’ followed. Jennifer giggled, smiling brightly. “Absolutely! That’s what we had in mind actually. Meet us outside the lunchroom at lunch today. Maybe we can talk Coach Wilson into letting us teach hula for our P.E. credit today too.”

I noticed both Stacey and Brittany off to the side whispering amongst themselves. I had a bad feeling about that, but resolved not to worry about it. If they wanted to get in on the fun, they were more than welcome. For now we gathered our things and headed to our first class, and for the first time in awhile, I found myself actually feeling good about the giggles and whispers that followed in our wake. I never wanted to be the queen of the school, but sometimes the best rulers are the reluctant ones, right?

By lunchtime, I’d finally had enough of the Terrible Two whispering about me. We were right in the middle of our promised lessons when I noticed them pointing at me and laughing.

“Hang back a second, Jen. I’ll be right back.” I nodded toward the two with a mischievous smile. Jennifer covered her mouth and giggled, and Allison put her hand on Nicole’s shoulder to keep my loving girlfriend from stopping me from what I was about to do.

“Excuse me, ladies. I can’t help noticing you’ve been staring at me and laughing at every opportunity today.”

Stacey sneered, “And?”

I smiled warmly as I offered my hand. “And, I was wondering if you’d like to join us. Look, we’re all sophomores, and we’re trying to earn spirit points. The seniors have Victoria Esquire for Heaven’s sakes. We need all the help we can get, so are you two going to sit over here and gossip about me, or are you going to get off your butts and have a little fun, just this once?”

Brittany and Stacey stared at each other for a long moment. Stacey finally sighed, standing. Brittany scowled at her, but Stacey took my hand and gave it a light squeeze, looking back. “It’s over Brit. I’m sorry, but I’m tired of being the school villain. If you want to keep this petty crap up that’s your bag, but I want to learn to hula.”

She nervously walked away, joining Jennifer, Allison and Nicole. Meanwhile Brittany continued to stare at me.

“Come on, Brit. I’m not the enemy here and you know it.”

“… I guess.”

I sat down where Stacey had been sitting moments before, looking her right in the eye. “Who are you really angry with?”

“I… don’t know,” she finally admitted softly.

“Did Coach Wilson tell you why she chose you as co-captain instead of Allison or Maria, or any one of the other girls?”

“I thought it was because I was better than everyone else, except Chelsea, but she’s like, Little Miss Perfect at everything anyway.” She rolled her eyes and turned away from me slightly.

I shook my head, offering her a smile. “She confided in me that she’s been giving you such a hard time because she wanted to see if you’d buckle under the pressure, but you didn’t. You rode it out, even with everyone thinking you set your ex-boyfriend up to take a fall, and even with her constantly on your case, up until the end of tryouts. It’s because your teammates believed in you, even if you don’t believe in yourself.”

I could see a stray tear creeping down the side of her face, following the contours of her cheek. I had wondered if those big crocodile tears the other day were real, for how easily she returned to her old ways, but this time something seemed different. This time she acted genuinely uncomfortable, evidenced as she quickly covered it up with her hand. “What… is with you? You sound like a Disney movie, all ‘Believe in yourself and you can do anything!’. Life’s not that simple.”

“No, it’s not that simple, but being angry at everyone doesn’t hurt anyone but yourself. I told you the other day how hard my life’s been, but I still have friends who love me because I don’t constantly backbite and push them away. I’m offering to be your friend too. How many times in your life have you honestly had people willing to say that?”

After another moment or two, she finally nodded. “… You’re serious aren’t you?”

“As a heart attack. Now come on, let’s have some fun.”

“Sure, you say that, but your little friends over there won’t be so accepting,” she spoke with more unease in her voice, more terror than I’d ever heard. I stood, taking her hand and pulling her to her feet.

“Let me tell you about a girl I met at camp named Natalie…”

It actually took the four of us, amongst our randomly being distracted giggling over camp memories, to actually explain not only about Natalie, but about the camp luau and why we seemed so at-ease with our little impromptu Spirit point earning. I mean, even some of the seniors got in on the act with a little coercion on our part.

We had even more planned for Wednesday though. While Wacky Hat and Tie Tuesday was more or less a wash for interesting or unique ideas, Camouflage Wednesday would be something extra-special! Following school Tuesday afternoon we decided to meet at the gym, since Jennifer and Chelsea both had cheer practice. Of course, Allison, Nicole, Jennifer and I already knew what we were going to do, but with Chelsea and Maria getting involved now too, we needed to let them in on our surprise for the next day.

“This is so cool!” Maria giggled, after we had explained the plan.

“What’s so cool?” Stacey poked her head down next to Jennifer, causing me to squeal in surprise, perhaps more at whom had suddenly become so friendly more than her sudden appearance itself.

“Jeeze, don’t sneak up on me!” I laughed, adding, “We’re going to hold marching drills with a real Iraqi soldier as our ‘drill instructor’ either before school or at lunch, depending on when he can make it. He just came back on leave for a few days, but he’s still offering us an hour of his time anyway.”

“Oh cool! If you need another ‘soldier’ I’ll help too,” she added rather cheerfully. I admit it surprised me. I’d become so used to her iciness. I wondered if Brittany had put her up to it all along? Her sister certainly seemed nice enough, in retrospect. Things were starting to make more sense now though, assuming Brittany was telling the truth about her dad the other day.

“Actually that’d be awesome. I thought about asking the whole cheerleading squad and our basketball team if they wanted to get involved, but with the mixed grades I wasn’t sure if they’d want in.”

“Sure they would!” Chelsea responded with a broad grin. “Just leave it to me. I’ll make some calls tonight, and talk to the squad after practice. Speaking of practice, it looks like everyone’s starting to arrive. C’mon Jen, we need to show these rookies how it’s done. You too Stacey!”

I have to admit, seeing Jane in the parking lot waiting for us surprised me. I had introduced her to Allison already, but she hadn’t met Nicole yet to my knowledge, nor did she know that her new step-daughter happened to also like girls. My breath caught in my throat when that little realization hit me.

“Crap…” I muttered. Allison gave me a squeeze. “What is it?”

“Um… Jane doesn’t know Nikki and I are dating yet.”

“Who’s Jane?” Nicole interrupted, shifting her gaze between the two of us bewilderedly.

“Jane is Margie’s real mom. She’s in town for the week. She kind of flipped out when she found out about me, until she actually MET me anyway. See, she had this seriously anti-LGBT roommate for years and… it kind of rubbed off on her.”

“Oh Fred,” Nicole grumbled.

“I think I agree,” I added uneasily. “May as well get this over with. Nikki, if you want to call your mom and get a ride I’ll understand.”

Nicole shook her head. “Not a chance babe. I told you I’m with you for the long haul. If that means Margie’s mom freaks out about it, then that’s her problem.”

I had to smile at her show of support. I hugged her tightly, and slowly made my way to the parking lot. Without a word, we dropped our backpacks into the open trunk of Jane’s silver, presumably rented, BMW. It took all I had in me not to lose the pepperoni and sausage pizza we’d had for lunch as I sat in the front passenger seat. So far she hadn’t said anything at least.

She started the car, paused, and glanced over her shoulder. “You must be Robin’s girlfriend, Nicole was it?”

You could have probably heard the sonic boom a block away as our jaws, in unison, fell open. She giggled. “Margie told me everything that’s happened over coffee this morning. I’m only sorry I didn’t come sooner now, or I could have helped with the alterations for your dresses for Hawaiian Day,” she offered with a smile, clearly trying to lighten the mood. She gave my hand a squeeze, and I couldn’t help smiling back at her.

“Thanks Jane. I know this is all… weird for you, but I really do appreciate your trying to see all this from my side too.”

Other than Jane stopping off for double fudge chocolate sprinkle ice cream all around, the rest of the evening passed relatively uneventfully. I couldn’t say the same for the next morning at school. We all dressed in our camo fatigues, and Nicole carried her stiletto combat boots in her backpack to wear when we weren’t doing our drills.

As we drove closer, what looked like an entire PLATOON of soldiers did push-ups and jumping jacks on the school’s front lawn. I realized as we drew closer though, that those soldiers were fellow students, being led by Chelsea. I pulled my camouflage hat into place as we stepped out of Carol’s SUV and approached.

“GENERAL ON DECK! TROOPS, PRESENT ARMS!” Chelsea barked. Everyone scrambled to their feet and stood at attention. Chelsea turned to salute me, causing me to blush brightly. I hadn’t had time to put on my face paint yet, as it was another activity we wanted to do for others in case our personal Rambo couldn’t make it this morning. I returned the salute, turning to our ‘troops’ with a proud smile.

“General Smith, we’re ready to proceed with the flag-raising ceremony, MA’AM!” She barked. I couldn’t help getting into the spirit of the event, nodding approvingly. I couldn’t believe Chelsea put all this together in one night! As Chelsea, Nicole and the others fell in line, of all people, Brittany stepped forward. After giving me a firm salute, she winked, turning back to accept the flag from Bobby Nelson, who looked every bit the soldier, complete with fake dog tags. The two carefully unfolded the red-white-and-blue, and carried it to the flag pole to raise, as a trumpet player from our marching band blared morning reveille.

With the flag at its full height, I turned back to my apparent squad and saluted. “DISMISSED!” I giggled, adding in a much more natural tone, “And if anybody’s interested in having their face painted come see Jen, Ally, Nikki or myself, or one of the organizers for this ceremony, which I want to remind everyone I had absolutely nothing to do with! Great job everyone. I wish Mr. Harris could have seen this.”

Principal Rochelle, getting into the spirit of Spirit Week himself, had worn a pair of desert camo pants with a light brown t-shirt. He patted my shoulder lightly as we dispersed to head inside. “That was quite a show, Robin. Great job.”

“Thanks Mr. Rochelle, but Chelsea organized all this. I had no idea she was going to go all out like that, but that was so much fun.”

“Oh, that reminds me, your guest’s visitor pass has been cleared.”

“Oh, thank you! I had hoped he could be here this morning, but I’m sure he’ll hear about it,” I replied, even as I nervously checked my reflection in my compact. Since we were going all out on the army theme I hadn’t worn any makeup that day, and felt just a little exposed. Nicole pulled me aside and grinned, having already gotten herself painted up.

“C’mere you. We need to make you look more like a soldier before you can start working on anyone else. The lines are huge!”

Around noon, we all hurried to finish lunch so we could get out to the school’s front lawn for the second show of the day. To our surprise, Sergeant Harris had even borrowed an army jeep from the local base for authenticity, and parked it in front of the school. He smiled proudly as the four of us approached.

“Robin, hey!”

Before responding, we all gave him a respectful salute. After he returned it, Allison and I swarmed him with a hug each. “Mr. Harris, it’s SO good to see you again!”

He laughed as he patted us both on the back. “Likewise. It was worth having my door kicked in for the amount of support you girls have given me. When I went back to Iraq I carried your bear with me to remind me. Some of the guys thought it was funny until I told them the story about the psycho. Now that stuffed bear’s kind of become our mascot.” He grinned. “Anyway, whenever you girls are ready?”

I nodded. “Ready, willing and able, SIR! The rest of our platoon should be here shortly, Sir!”

“Alright then, fall in!”

More students than just our volunteers showed up to join in the fun, as Randall taught us not only some basic parade march step, but afterward, when Jennifer commented on how I’d been taking self-defense classes since the incident, asked if I’d be willing to give an impromptu demonstration of martial arts defense versus what he called the ‘Take ‘em down fast’ approach. It was so worth getting tossed on my backside to see him smile.

Since we had practically hogged the entire school’s attention every day this week, when the seniors asked us if we’d be willing to help them with a project for Thursday, we of course leapt at the opportunity, even knowing they’d get the spirit points this time. And what an event! Thursday was Fashion Disaster day, so of course, we had our own little Fashion show right in the school’s auditorium, complete with a vote on who had the most disastrously hideous outfit.

Sadly, or amusingly, I almost won too, with my bright yellow leggings under a neon green tunic dress and polka-dot white-and-red scarf. The victor though, was unquestionably Victoria. Our homecoming queen had completely outdone herself with her mismatched shoes, torn purple pantyhose, and I’d almost have sworn she mugged a clown for the skirt and blouse, to say nothing of her poor hair. I had no idea how she’d get that mop of mess looking presentable before Friday night.

As it turned out, ‘royalty’ were allowed out of classes early on Friday so we could get ready. Imagine my surprise when Victoria grabbed me by the arm as I tried to make for the private faculty restrooms to change.

“Hold on there, princess. You’re one of us now.” She grinned. “Listen, I and everyone else in this school knows you have some sort of problem that won’t let you change for gym or whatever, but that doesn’t mean you can’t hang out with us while we do each others’ hair and makeup and shoot the breeze.”

“Well, yes, but-” I tried to argue, but Julie, the tow-headed seventh grade maid who managed to eke out just at 4’11” came up on my other side. I didn’t even know she was there yet!

“No buts, Spirit!” She practically grinned, winking at me. Victoria peeked across at the shorter girl as they led me to the auditorium.

“Spirit?”

“Yeah! Spirit was Robin’s camp name at Girl Scout camp. She’s one of the nicest Counselors in Training our camp’s had. She helped organize a big luau for the entire camp to honor a girl who killed herself last year. It was so cool.”

“Really? Please, please tell me you’re trying out for cheerleader next year?” I would have thought her joking, but for her utterly serious, almost pleading tone. I smiled wryly as I nodded.

“Yeah, I’m taking gymnastics in the spring, and probably going to cheer camp after Girl Scout camp this summer.”

“Awesome!” Victoria exclaimed, followed by a ‘Sweet!’ from Julie. I giggled a little as I wrapped them both in a hug.

“Thanks girls. For making me feel welcome. I’ve never even been considered for homecoming royalty before, so this is all totally new for me.”

“Never? Seriously?” Victoria asked, surprised. Julie chimed in a moment later.

“Hey, no big deal. It’s my first time too remember? God I’m so scared I’ll fall over or something totally stupid.”

Sasha Li, our dark-haired half-Korean Junior maid, giggled as we entered the girls’ dressing room off-stage. “I heard that! I haven’t been chosen for this since I was in eighth grade. Puberty hit me like a ton of bricks so I’ve been kind of pizza-faced the last few years.” I couldn’t believe my ears.

“Wow. What’s your secret?” Julie asked, surprised. I had to wonder too. Either she wore a lot of makeup, or her skin really was as flawless as it appeared. She grinned broadly into the mirror as she dusted her face lightly with a makeup brush. “I’ll give you the name of the prescription I use just in case you need it later. Nobody should have to go through what I went through last year.”

We all sat and talked, in various states of undress, for the better part of the two hours we were allotted. We worked on each others’ hair and makeup of course, and at one point I finally slipped off into the bathroom to step into my dress. I had just pulled it up when someone knocked.

“Robin? Can I come in?” Sasha called. I glanced back from the much smaller mirror the private bathroom held.

“Sure Sasha. I’m almost done.”

She barged in and immediately sat down, meanwhile I quietly slipped out, pulling the door closed behind me. I really did not need or desire to watch her do her business. I could understand going to the restroom in groups for safety reasons, but I wasn’t quite ready for that level of intimacy with anyone. Mercifully she didn’t say anything, or really seem to notice or care.

A few minutes later, someone knocked at the dressing room door. Mrs. Jones, the drama teacher, called from the other side. “Ten minutes to show time ladies! Your escorts are here to … well… escort you!”

“Okay girls, everyone ready?” Victoria called as she stood, stepping into her metallic gold heels. Personally I thought they looked a little tacky, but then, we all looked like a Bridesmaid fashion disaster. The things we do for tradition!

“Sasha’s in the bathroom. Oh, could you zip me up?” I turned, and Victoria giggled, grasping the offending little zipper and giving it a quick tug, then tucking it away so it wouldn’t show. “Thanks.”

With Sasha rejoining us, we all stepped out onto the stage, where our escorts, dressed in sharp contrast in street clothes under their football jerseys, had been horsing around and laughing. They all grew silent as the grave when they saw us.

A collective cheer followed as they all stood, and like perfect gentlemen each of them ascended the stairs, taking his respective lady by the hand. Bobby smiled as he looped my arm. “Robin, you look amazing!”

“Thanks. I’m so nervous. But poor Julie has to go first. I’d die if I were her.”

Julie laughed nervously as she looked back at me. “Thanks Robin, I so did not need to hear that.”

We walked together to the gym, where the assembly and pep rally had already begun. Waiting in the wings, the same photographer that approached us earlier in the week now stood ready to photograph each of us as we entered.

“And now without further delay, I give you Queen Victoria and her Homecoming Court!” Principal Rochelle announced proudly. The band struck up the slow-paced school’s Alma Mater as we began our long walk. We had practiced this part, along with the actual crowning ceremony, several times already, but seeing our actual ‘thrones’ instead of plastic chairs made it all so much more real.

I thought I saw Mom and Sensei Rogers in the stands as Bobby and I turned to face the crowd at my designated seat. Nicole, standing with her goth friends, looked like she wanted to cry. The smile on her face could’ve been seen from space, and… I think her friends were actually smiling too. I wondered though, when she changed into her Girl Scouts t-shirt. Finally as the music ended, we took our seats, and our escorts jogged across the court to take theirs.

I’d been to plenty of pep rallies before, but never really cared much for school spirit until now. I swear, by the time all the cheer squad’s dancing, gymnastics team’s performances, and Tiger mascot’s tomfoolery ended, my cheeks ached from smiling. And we still had a parade and crowning ceremony left!

The seniors won the coveted Spirit bell, though when Principal Rochelle announced the final numbers he confessed that it was the ‘closest it had been in years’. Of course, we all know the contest was rigged. This was the seniors’ last year after all, and they did work really hard. It wasn’t their fault a bunch of upstart Sophomores tried to show them up this year. Giggle.

Each of the royalty had their own convertible to ride in for the parade, and Sensei Rogers had generously offered to be my chauffer. I certainly wouldn’t complain, as I’d seen his beautiful red soft-top on quite a few occasions. If I were ever to call a car ‘sexy’, that would be the one.

“Are you nervous, Robin?” he asked with a warm smile as I approached after the pep rally. I laughed as I nodded. “Very! I’ve never been in a parade before, and I swear Alpine Springs takes its football way more seriously than they did back in Cali.”

Mom giggled. She had been smiling like a Cheshire cat all through the assembly anyway. “Small town pride. It’s no backwoods town, but they’re certainly no San Francisco. Come on dear, we’ve got to get you to the parade route!”

“Are you going to ride with us?” I asked, curious.

“Oh, no dear, I’m going to be taking pictures! We’re going to meet Ash there, though. I want to bask in one last mother-daughter moment on the drive over.” She giggled again. She giggled a lot lately, but again, I wasn’t about to complain. I smiled proudly as I hugged them both. By now Allison had come over as well, and I couldn’t resist grabbing her in a hug. I couldn’t help noticing she was wearing her camp CIT shirt too. She grinned.

“Last minute change of plans. The troop asked Nikki and me to ride with the girls in the parade as two quote, ‘Exemplary counselor trainees’.”

“They don’t know us very well, do they?” I chided, causing her to giggle. “See you on the other side Ally.”

Even as Allison rejoined her parents and her sister, Mom and I walked out to her car. I eased myself into the front passenger seat, mindful of the flowing and expensive dress, and, after pulling my seat belt across, tugged the sun visor down to check my makeup in the attached mirror. Mom, sliding her key into the ignition, glanced over at me with a broad grin.

“I cannot begin to tell you how proud I am of you, or how absolutely beautiful you are.”

“Thanks Mom.” I squeezed her hand. I could feel my cheeks burning. “You know I’ve been thinking about Sensei Rogers… I’m not saying you should do anything rash, but… Well, Jane does make wedding dresses for a living.” I gave her a sidelong glance and giggled at her reaction.

This time, HER cheeks turned several shades of red. “Robin Jane Smith!” She laughed, then paused. “Jane Smith. Sweetheart, I’ve been meaning to ask why you chose that for your middle name?”

I giggled a little as we pulled out into traffic. “It’s the name of the lady cop who took Allison’s and my statement, plus it’s sort of the feminine of ‘John’. I thought about that too when Margie introduced me to her mom. Totally weird coincidence.”

She chuckled. “Well, it is a very common name. I think it’s Hebrew for ‘God’s grace’.”

“Oh, that’s so cool. Jane Garrett really is that for me and Ally, not that Mr. Harris isn’t too though.” I smiled thoughtfully as we approached the parade staging area. Mom’s car rolled to a stop, and she reached behind the seat, producing a bouquet of purple, gold, and white roses.

“Nicole insisted on paying for these for you to carry in the parade, by the way.”

“Ohmygosh… They’re beautiful!” I squeaked, accepting the roses and hugging Mom, careful not to crush the flowers in the process. I kissed her cheek then stepped carefully out of the car, approaching Sensei Rogers’, even as Mom pulled away again. Sensei Rogers opened the door and took my hand to help me up into the car. As I took my place on top of the back seat, I giggled. “I um… made Mom blush.”

He laughed as he looked back at me. “How did you manage that?”

“I reminded her that my half-sister Margie’s real mom designs wedding dresses for a living.”

He didn’t respond to that. Not at first anyway. It wasn’t that I wanted to prod him to action anyway, though. I just wanted them both to know where I stood on the issue, if it ever came up. Just before go-time, as the parade director called it, he glanced back at me with a smile.

“I don’t know what the future holds, Robin, but I’m honored that you would come out and tell me that. Thank you.” His smile broadened. “Ready?” I nodded, shifting my weight a little. I carefully cradled Nicole’s roses in one arm, steadying myself with my other hand as we pulled in behind the white car carrying Sasha.

We made it the first quarter-mile without incident, pausing once for the marching band to stop and play. I admit I felt kind of guilty that, in all the excitement, I never got a chance to work on our class’ float. Thankfully no one seemed to mind. I continued to wave at the crowds as we drove slowly through our parade route. I thought I’d fall right off my seat though when we passed the Chug-n’-Go gas station. Rachel, Natalie, and a few other girls from camp were standing in a group, dressed in their Camp t-shirts.

Natalie shouted, “One, Two, Three!”, and on cue, the entire group exploded into a cheer of “GO SPIRIT!” I had to laugh, waving at the group as we rode past. Finally, our police escort led us to the end of our parade route, and those of us not hauling floats pulled off into the nearby parking lot. The floats meanwhile kept moving, heading no doubt for the football stadium.

I had no sooner stepped down from Sensei’s car though, when a tall bunch of blonde hair with a skinny human attached practically tackled me, wrapping me in a hug. “Spirit! You look so beautiful!” Alice squealed happily.

I laughed. “Alice?! Oh my God, what are you doing here?!”

She giggled as Natalie and Rachel came running, along with half a dozen scouts behind them. “Rachel called me!”

“Rachel! Natalie! Hey!” I grabbed them in a hug next. I knew I wore waterproof mascara for a reason, as the tears flowed freely. It was so good to see everyone again. “I can’t believe you guys all made it. But how did you know?”

“Well, Ally called and told me about you being chosen for Sophomore Maid. I called Rachel, and Rachel called Alice,” Natalie explained. “One thing led to another, and here we are.”

“Wow… You guys, this is so great. Are you coming to the game tonight?”

Rachel nodded. “We wouldn’t miss it! Tell the girls we said ‘hi’, will you?”

I laughed. “Turn around and you can tell them yourself.”

Rachel blinked, turning just in time to be blindsided by a monster hug from Nicole and Allison in their CIT shirts, and Jennifer in her cheerleading uniform. Jennifer swished her pompoms playfully at the two and laughed. “Glad you could make it!”

After much giggling and gossiping, we finally resolved to all meet back at my house. We made a point especially to invite Alice to come too. She may have been our cabin organizer and counselor, but she also helped so much to make our camp experience more memorable. For the moment though, I had to get out of those heels for a few hours!

That evening, I felt like Cinderella preparing for the ball, and I wasn’t even the Queen! Not that it mattered to my doting friends though. They all went out of their way to make certain my hair, makeup, and nails were all perfect before we all piled into our separate vehicles and drove to the football stadium.

I walked with them through the admission gate because guests of Royalty got in free. I’m not that awesome without the fake plastic tiara! We parted ways, and I made my way down to the visitors’ side of the football field.

There actually weren’t that many people from the visitors’ town there yet, not that I could blame them. Those that were here already would have to sit through our lengthy crowning ceremony before the actual game could begin. As I stood off to one side, making last-minute adjustments to my dress, two of the other team’s cheerleaders, dressed in really cute orange-and-black uniforms, approached me.

“Hi, I’m Amber and this is Katrina.” The tall brunette introduced herself and her shorter, black-haired friend, both offering a friendly smile, so I smiled back.

“Hi there. I’m Robin.”

“Nice to meet you!” Amber responded warmly. “Um, we were just wondering who made you guys’ dresses? Our homecoming’s in a couple of weeks and we’d love to get something this pretty done! We were going to ask your Queen over there, but her escort scares me.” She giggled, motioning to Victoria, and her boyfriend-slash-escort Jeff. Jeff, the star quarterback, stood at six feet five inches if he slouched. I had to laugh.

“He’s a big teddy-bear, I’m told. The dress shop is here in Alpine Springs in the little village shopping center, Tina’s Bridal. Hey, if you tell them Robin sent you they might give your school the same discount they give ours.”

Amber smiled broadly, giving me a friendly hug. “Thank you SO much! Oh, it looks like they want you,” she nodded toward the others, already lining up. I smiled warmly and waved as I turned to rush over, stepping into place next to Bobby.

“What was that about?” he asked with a chuckle.

“They wanted to know who designed our dresses. Their homecoming’s in a couple of weeks and they want to see if they can get something like ours done. It might be short notice, but there’s at least next year.”

“Hah. Fraternizing with the enemy, eh?” He paused, and grinned. “Just kidding. That’s really cool actually.”

“What’s that?” I asked, as we started slowly making our way down the 50-yard-line. Cheerleaders lined up on either side with their pompoms up, making an arch for us to walk through on the other side..

“That you’d help them out like that,” he replied, guiding me through the cheer-arch to my place on the sideline.

As we lined up, we each turned to wait for our ‘Lady’ Victoria. Principal Rochelle approached, placing the crown on her head and, after her escort ceremoniously kissed her cheek, she grinned broadly, moving to take her place on the stage that had been built specifically for us in front of the bleachers. After she took her place, we all took ours, and the game finally began.

Admittedly, I didn’t pay much attention to the actual sporting event. I was too giddy with excitement at the euphoric rush we all felt. It’s one thing to be in the spotlight at school, where I never know if someone’s going to pull something and out me, whether by accident or not, but to have the entire town seeing us as these beautiful, princess-like figures to our Queen, if only for one night, was pure magic.

The magic started to wear a little thin by the third quarter though, mostly because I desperately needed something to drink. Finally, I glanced back at Victoria and asked, “Hey, does anyone else want something to drink? I’m going to make a quick concession stand run.”

Julie whispered, “Are we allowed to do that? I’m like, so thirsty too.”

Victoria laughed, nodding. “Sure, go ahead. Oh, bring me back a diet cola if you could?” Seeing our ‘Queen’ so down to earth emboldened the others to put in drink orders too, and Julie and Sasha volunteered to come with me to help carry everything.

Everyone, both in support of the home and away team, surprisingly gave us a wide path as we approached. I couldn’t help noticing a quartet of women — two brunettes, a blonde, and a redhead, in black t-shirts bearing the artistic ‘Heedless Despair’ logo, though. I smiled warmly at them while we waited for our order to be fulfilled.

“You like Heedless Despair too?”

They looked at each other and giggled, and in a distinctly English accent, the blonde-haired woman responded, “Yes, you could say that. They’re doing a concert here next week, you know.”

I laughed as I nodded, “I know. I helped arrange it. Hey, are you guys with the set-up crew?”

More giggles followed, and the redhead responded this time. Her voice sounded so familiar, for some reason. “Er, yes, we’re with the setup crew. You must be Robin, hey?”

“Uh huh. Oh!” I suddenly realized the concession stand lady was waiting for me to take my drink, and giggled. “Sorry!” I turned back to the four and smiled warmly. “Enjoy the game!”

“You too; we’ll be in touch tomorrow about your role by the way. Oh, and congrats,” the redhead offered, nodding toward me. I giggled and thanked her. On the way back, Sasha nudged me with her shoulder, careful not to spill either of our concession goodies. “What’s that about a concert?”

“Oh, I didn’t tell you? Nikki’s birthday is this Tuesday. We got Heedless Despair to play for her Sweet Sixteen. You guys are welcome to come too! Just come find me after the game and I’ll give you the details.”

After Jeff scored the game-winning touchdown for our victory over the Bulldogs at 23-21, the royalty and their boyfriends — or in my case, girlfriend — gathered on the sidelines to wish each other goodnight. There was still the homecoming dance, but I was so tired, I just wanted to get home and soak my feet.

As Nicole and I walked toward the gate together, Mom, Margie, Allison, Kelly, and Jennifer joined us. The four women I’d met earlier stood in the parking lot talking, and as we passed, Nicole glanced over her shoulder and grinned. “Okay, I know what I want for my birthday now.” Allison and I exchanged a sly grin with each other, waiting for Nicole to continue her thought. She giggled, “I want one of those t-shirts. Those are awesome.”

I had to laugh. I also had to bite my tongue. I knew they weren’t the actual band, but come on, just knowing their road crew came to our game to unwind! How cool is that? Arriving at Mom’s car, Nicole wrapped her arms around me, resting her head on my shoulder for a moment.

“Robin, you are like, the ultimate girlfriend. I am so, so proud of you. I’d be proud of you even if we were the only people on earth, but still...” I smiled as I squeezed her close, kissing her softly. “G’night cutie,” she managed between giggles at the very public display of affection.

“Sweet dreams, vampire.” I giggled a little too, squeezing her hand one last time as she opened the door for me to sit, and closed it behind me. As she walked away to catch a ride home with Allison and Kelly, and as I waited for Mom and Margie to get in, I closed my eyes. The next thing I remembered, Mom was gently shaking me.

“Robin, sweetheart?”

“Mmmph…”

“We’re home honey,” she insisted. I yawned, easing out of my seatbelt. They had to practically carry me inside, and I left my heels at the bottom of the stairs before I stumbled up to bed. I barely had the energy to change into my pajamas, and brushing my teeth was right out.

As I collapsed into my comforter, Mister Kensington rolled from the shockwave, landing by my side. A warm, all-embracing, euphoric sleep soon followed.

~* Heedless Despair *~ “Ow!” I yelped as I rather abruptly bumped into a solid wall about four feet tall. “I think I found the stage. Let’s see if there’s a light switch around here…” I crawled up onto the stage, scampering to my feet. My eyes had begun to adjust now, at least, though that really didn’t help my unease any. I could swear I saw mist gathering at my feet and rolling off the stage. “Um… Guys?” Silence. I cautiously moved to one side, bumping into someone of about Allison’s height. “Ally, there you are. I can’t see a thing.” “What’d you say Robin?” I heard Allison’s voice … from the other side of the stage.

---

Even though I had an arrangement with Sensei Rogers to pay for my Kenpo lessons by working on the dojo every other Saturday, since I couldn’t make my lessons the night prior due to Homecoming, he let me slide on my work and come in next week — or so he said. Truth be told, I had so much going on for the weekend already that I wouldn’t have been much use to him anyway. I still had to find Nicole the perfect present, but Jane’s offer to take me shopping at least offered an avenue for that.

I had been so exhausted Friday night, though. I never even heard my alarm sound off, or an annoyed older sister finally barging in to shut off the nuisance appliance. Around nine, though, I felt a familiar, soft hand on my cheek. I found myself instinctively nuzzling into it as I yawned. Allison laughed as she pulled her hand back.

“About time you woke up. Maybe you should go as Sleeping Beauty for Nikki’s Halloween bash.”

I giggled a little as I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, and only now realizing Jennifer’s presence as well. “… Jen? You’re here too?”

Jennifer and Allison could’ve been twins if not for the different heritage. Both wore tight, faded jeans and loose-fitting sweatshirts, though where Allison’s was a soft, pastel pink, Jen’s was Fighting Tiger purple, just like my homecoming gown. Jennifer laughed then cringed, speaking hoarsely. “Ow. Don’t make me laugh please! I cheered my voice sore at the game last night.”

Allison added a moment later, “Your mom told us to come on up and see if you were awake yet. Don’t tell me you’ve already forgotten what today is?”

“… The day my well-meaning friends don’t let me sleep in?” I chided. As I rubbed my temples though, the veil blurring dream and reality lifted, and I suddenly remembered. I practically leapt from my bed, sprinting to the closet. “Oh shoot! Heedless Despair’s waiting on us aren’t they?!”

Allison giggled, “Yeee-up. Their sound guy called me this morning to ask when we’d be coming over for rehearsal. God, I still can’t believe we get to be in the show!” she squealed excitedly.

Taking a cue on the weather from my friends I dug through my closet for something warm to wear, even as I replied. “Oh, did I tell you I met their road crew last night?”

“You what?! When?!”

“At the concession stand. There were four of them sporting really awesome HD t-shirts. Remember, Nikki pointed them out because she wanted a shirt like theirs?”

“Oh wow. I remember, but I thought they just had good taste in music. That is like, so cool!”

I stepped out of the closet still in my pajamas, with two hangers containing a hunter green knit sweater and light, faded jeans slung over my shoulder. After grabbing some matched underwear (and green socks to match my sweater, too) from my dresser, I glanced back at the two. “I really need a shower first, but I won’t be long. Jen, my mom has an herbal remedy that’ll really help your throat if you want her to mix some up. I’ve got to warn you though, it tastes worse than it smells.”

Jennifer giggled, flinching as she did. She nodded sheepishly. “That… sounds like a good idea. Come on Ally, I won’t suffer Robin’s mom’s ‘cure’ alone.”

“Oh yes you will,” Allison laughed. “But I’ll drink some hot cocoa with you. I’m STILL cold!”

We parted ways outside my door for the moment as I disappeared into the bathroom and pushed the door closed behind me. I hadn’t really had any ‘alone’ time to think since Thursday, with everything happening so fast. I couldn’t believe how worn out I had been following Homecoming, either. As steam billowed around my shower curtain, obscuring my sight, I closed my eyes and stepped under the hot water. I had to protect my hair else I’d be hours drying it, but I could at least enjoy the relaxing hot water massage for a moment.

‘We really poured our hearts into Spirit Week,’ I thought to myself, as I lathered up my body wash bath puff thingie. ‘I wonder if Brittany’s finally gotten it through her thick skull, though? Or was this just another act to save face in front of Stacey? I guess time will tell. She should be glad her dad isn’t like Nikki’s though. Oh God, he’s not, is he?’

I had to force those terrible thoughts from my mind. Now was not the time to start second-guessing everyone, especially not knowing anything about her or her home life. I resolved to leave it alone for now, rinsing away those negative thoughts even as I watched the soap suds swirl around the drain at my feet.

The heavy faucet squealed a mild protest as I shut off the water then stepped out. Up until now I hadn’t given any thought to just how cold it really was. The room itself felt wonderfully warm from the steam, but the floor…

“JEEZE! COLD!” I yelped, as my bare feet hit the icy tiles. I immediately leapt to the side onto the protection of my bath rug, grumbling to myself as I patted myself dry. I spent several minutes looking in the fog-shrouded mirror, even as I went about getting myself dressed. Not only could I see no physical sign that Robert ever existed, but part of me wondered if there were ever any to begin with. I had to smile at that thought as I pulled my sweater over my head, gave my hair one last flip, and turned to step out and return to my room.

Allison and Jennifer sat on my bed chatting, though they both grew silent as I entered. Allison grinned, holding up my most recent copy of Aria Blade. I could feel my cheeks burning, which caused her to giggle. Jennifer, seeing my embarrassment stood, approaching me to hug me. “Relax, girl. We’re just giving you a hard time!” Her voice sounded much less froggy now. I had to laugh.

“I guess I deserve it for subjecting you to Mom’s home remedies. Just don’t tell Nikki. I want to tell her myself, in my own way.”

Jennifer slowly nodded as she returned to my bed to sit, meanwhile I moved to my vanity to work on my makeup. “Margie’s the only one … well, I guess you guys now too, that know I even read Aria Blade.” I paused, picking up my magnified mirror to apply a light touch of mascara. “I know this is going to sound weird, but everyone seems to think I have this perfect life. Brittany acts like I’m the second coming of Chelsea. I think she even poisoned Stacey against me.

“Reading Aria Blade… It’s like I can forget everything for awhile. I can forget the pressure to do good in school, or worrying who’s going to give me crap for being in a lesbian relationship, or God forbid, finding out my secret… It’s how I deal without going completely crazy, y’know?”

I felt Allison’s warm embrace from behind, as she bent down to kiss my cheek. “I know exactly how you feel. For me, and I think for Nikki too, it’s music. I mean, I still don’t care about going pro, but as a hobby it’s my sanity switch.”

Jennifer added a moment later, “And for me, it’s dancing. Well, dancing, surfing, snowboarding…”

I glanced back at her, surprised. “You snowboard too?”

She laughed, “Hey, sometimes it’s nice to ride a wave that doesn’t thrash you when you fall. I haven’t been ‘boarding in a couple of years though. Hey, we should organize a ski trip for the girl scouts some time!”

Allison giggled, “Ooh that would be so much fun! I love the snow, but I’ve never been skiing!”

I turned back to my makeup application, adding wryly to the conversation, “I… um… I’ve never actually seen snow.”

“What!?” they responded in unison. I giggled a little.

“I mean, I’ve seen it on TV, but I’m from San Francisco. Mt Tamalpais gets a dusting once in awhile, but that’s about it.”

“So you’ve never made snow angels?” Allison asked, utterly shocked.

“Or a snowman?” Jennifer added. “Oh my God, girl, we have got to get you some snow exposure this winter!”

I capped my lip gloss, smacking my lips playfully at them. After hugging Allison, I grabbed my purse, stepping over to wrap Jennifer in a hug. “That sounds awesome. Are you guys ready?”

Jennifer snickered, “Um… Robin, sweetheart?” She pointed down at my shoeless feet.

It took me a few seconds to even realize what I had forgotten. I groaned, grabbing a pair of half-inch heel canvas loafers from under my bed and slipping into them. “Sorry, I’m just nervous. I mean, I’ve never met anyone famous before.”

“I’m sure it’s just the setup crew,” Allison tried to reassure me. I hoped so. “Anyway, so who’s driving?”

“Mom is. Oh Jen, have you ridden in her new car yet?”

Jennifer shook her head. “Not yet. Ally told me about it though. And that she knows what caused her to black out now too.” She smiled warmly at that last part as we stepped out. I couldn’t help smiling too.

“Sorry we haven’t had much time to hang out lately. I promise, now that Homecoming’s behind us we’ll have more time to just hang out and stuff outside homework sessions.”

“Hey, it’s fine. We’ve all got our own things going, and I haven’t exactly been cutting into my Joshie-time either,” she giggled. Allison and I looked at each other as we reached the bottom step. Neither of us was brave enough to say anything, but it only took a few seconds for us both to completely lose it, cracking up.

Jennifer turned beet red, laughing. “Shut up!” She attempted to sound offended, but between giggles it kind of failed miserably.

The hotel looked like a scene out of one of those made-for-TV movies, where word leaks of a celebrity visit, and everything goes sideways. It took us ten minutes just to find a place to park, and even then we had to walk another five minutes. As we pushed our way through the crowded lobby of tourists, photographers, and news reporters, I couldn’t help the dark feeling in the pit of my stomach. If Nicole’s surprise hadn’t been ruined already, it would be now.

An unpleasantly stern middle-aged woman in a business suit, her chestnut hair in a tight bun stood at one of the few reception desks not presently swamped by autograph hounds and paparazzi. I cleared my throat as we approached, and she cast an icy gaze upon us.

“I’m Robin Smith. My friends and I are-“

Before I could finish, the woman snapped back, “Yes, yes, you and every other teenaged girl these boars can bribe to try and sneak a photograph. Unless you have some form of identification I suggest you turn right around and leave before I have security ESCORT you out.”

I physically cringed at her backlash, and had just turned to leave when a VERY large woman with dark skin and dreadlocks called out in a sharp clip.

“Dat’s quite enough of ‘dat!” She practically barked, in the direction of the snarly woman. She immediately glared at the interloper.

“But-”

She closed the distance surprisingly fast for someone of her stature. It’s not that she was all that rotund though, so much as very tall and shapely. She lowered her voice, “I said dat be enough, seen? Dis girl fits da description given don’ she?”

“Yes, but-”

“But no-ting. Dis be ‘er. You mus’ be Robin, yah? Da Scarlet Witch, she say to be expectin’ you. You ken call me Rita. I’m da band’s interim manager. Now c’man before ‘dese vultas realize why you here!”

I quickly nodded, as Rita ushered the three of us off into a side hallway. She kept a brisk pace, guiding us up one hallway and down another, dodging carts and baggage stands like she’d been doing this her entire life. I had to wonder how much of this was more show for us, or if she genuinely was trying to throw off anyone that might’ve gotten the bright idea to follow us.

Finally we arrived outside a pair of very large double-doors. She brought a finger to her lips and grinned ominously. “Da band, ‘dey is takin’ five, but you can go on in an’ say hi. I need ta take care of some other business, but I catch ya later. Was nice meetin’ you Robin, girls.” She nodded, turning to leave us at the door. I turned back to the others.

“Um… Before we go in, who’s Scarlet Witch?”

Jennifer giggled. “Didn’t Ally tell you? The Scarlet Witch is the operatic lead singer you’ve no doubt heard by now. Their lead guitarist calls herself Demona Rose — you’ll see why when you meet her. Their bassist calls herself Shadowfang, and the drummer is Solace.”

As we stepped inside, Allison continued to explain how each name pertained to the persona and backstory. I couldn’t help noticing the near total absence of light. I glanced over my shoulder, and quickly saw why it was only a ‘near’ absence. Only the light from the hall outside shone through the cracks to illuminate the room.

“They say Scarlet Witch was a practicing Wiccan until something terrible corrupted one of her spells, and the backlash drove her insane.”

Jennifer ominously added, “What ye send forth comes back to thee, so ever mind the law of three.”

“Demona Rose, aside from having wicked-pink hair, is reputed to have trapped a demon’s soul within her guitar, calling on its power for her unholy ability to mesmerize the audience. Shadowfang is a creature of living shadow given form in the foolish, failed attempt by a distraught soul to resurrect his dead lover. What came back had her body, but held her heart and soul prisoner.”

I gulped uneasily as we stumbled through the darkened auditorium. “… And Solace?”

“No one knows for sure,” Jennifer spoke reverently. “Some say she was a child’s doll, tossed aside, unloved and forgotten, and that her bitterness breathed new life into her, but others say she’s the soulless puppet slave to one of the others.”

“Ow!” I yelped as I rather abruptly bumped into a solid wall about four feet tall. “I think I found the stage. Let’s see if there’s a light switch around here…”

I crawled up onto the stage, scampering to my feet. My eyes had begun to adjust now, at least, though that really didn’t help my unease any. I could swear I saw mist gathering at my feet and rolling off the stage. “Um… Guys?”

Silence. I cautiously moved to one side, bumping into someone of about Allison’s height. “Ally, there you are. I can’t see a thing.”

“What’d you say Robin?” I heard Allison’s voice … from the other side of the stage. The overhead lights, casting a deep blue hue, slowly brightened just enough for me to see the figure before me. I thought I saw the shadows shift just beyond her, and as the lights rose just a little more, I could see some details, including a very real-looking set of fangs from the grinning figure.

I couldn’t help squealing as I leapt backwards. The figure cackled, and the lights rose to a more tolerable brightness. The blue filter shifted to a neutral white, and for the first time I could see her plainly. She had hair as black as midnight that hung in tight ringlets down to the small of her back and over her shoulders. Her skirt, jacket, and leggings looked like aged mummy wrappings, though I could clearly see a matched, dark gray corset beneath.

Her face in sharp contrast to her hair, as pale as a ghost, held dark circles around her eyes, and black lipstick accentuated the stark contrast nicely. She extended a bandaged hand, though her fingers were exposed, revealing an onyx snake-ring on one finger, as she hissed, “Hi there.”

I hesitantly extended my hand to accept hers, and her smile broadened. Somehow, I didn’t feel reassured. This was all just an act, wasn’t it?

“Shadowfang,” she continued, apparently deriving some sick joy from my uneasy response, as the grin broadened further when she pointed her slender finger over my shoulder. “This is Scarlet. Solace and Demona will be with us shortly.”

I didn’t know if I wanted to turn around at this point. It’s not so much that I felt uncomfortable though, as much as I think I was genuinely ‘in the moment’, as the unwitting victim of four nightmarish creatures. They certainly seemed to be enjoying themselves at least. I did finally turn to face Scarlet, and I could certainly see how she came by her name.

Unlike Shadow, Scarlet looked every bit the classic Gothic Lolita style. Like some sort of school girl from Hell, she wore a blood red blazer over a heavily lace-adorned, low-cut black blouse. Her short, lace-and-ribbons-adorned skirt matched in style and added to the macabre as it flared at the ends, and of course, the dark gray knee-length socks and black platform Mary Jane heels completed the ensemble, to say nothing of her gorgeous red hair, hanging in thick, Goldie Locks-like ringlets about her shoulders. A big, black bow sat lopsided in the mop of otherwise perfectly styled hair, and like Shadow, her dark makeup added marvelously to the spooky effect.

She gave a charmed grin as her large, brown eyes settled on me, offering a delicate hand. “Hmm, now where are the other two little scamps hiding?”

As if on cue, Jennifer and Allison squealed in unison. I turned toward the sound, to find them both being escorted by-the-hand by the missing band members.

When they told me Demona Rose’s hair was pink, I didn’t expect Nicole’s-bangs-fuschia, although it suddenly made more sense why Nicole would dye her bangs as such. And if Scarlet was a schoolgirl from Hell, then Demona was every man’s worst nightmare. Were those whips and handcuffs hanging off her belt? Her pleated vinyl skirt clung to her body, and the black corset-over-black-blouse, while leaving everything to the imagination unlike Scarlet’s outfit, still looked somehow frightening, and very beautiful on her.

I could see now why Solace would have a ‘living doll’ reputation too. She wore a simpler outfit than the others’, a low-cut, sleeveless black vest with red bat-wing like accents around the breast, along with a matched short black miniskirt, though the stark-white pigtails and black-and-white striped leggings, coupled with the clunky black shoes and macabre, Egyptian-styled eye makeup did serve well to give her a ‘living doll’ appearance too.

“Now that we’re all here, it’s time to discuss the plan.” Shadow spoke in a dark and ominous tone. In so many ways, she reminded me of an older version of Nicole. Her voice sounded so familiar though. Was she the one I spoke to on the phone the other day?

The more we talked, the more at ease I began to feel with our hostesses, and to tell the truth, I really enjoyed hanging out with them, even in their ‘dark’ personas. There had been one nagging concern in the back of my mind throughout our planning, though.

“The only thing I’m worried about is, how are we going to sneak away to change without Nikki noticing we’re gone?”

Shadow slowly nodded. “I’d not thought of that. I suppose you could just say you all need to use the facilities?” She chuckled dryly. After a moment a dark, impish grin crossed her shadowy lips. “Ooh… I have an idea. Scarlet, do you still have those exploding what’s-its?”

“The pyro-launcher? Yes, I finally fixed it again after that oaf sat on it after our last show,” she grumbled. After a moment or two, she grinned as well. “Oh, I see what you’re getting at. Shadow, sometimes you’re brilliant!”

“Only sometimes?” She teased, as I glanced between the two of them, utterly confused, which caused Shadow to laugh. “If we told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise. But here’s what you’re going to do. Just let us handle the rest. Right now, nobody knows we’re actually here. Some rumors got out that a big-name band might be here, but Rita’s said they haven’t figured it out yet.”

“Remind me to thank Ronnie for recommending her,” Demona added as she tousled her hair and shoved it all back, letting it fall disheveled about her shoulders . “I can’t understand what she says half the time, but damn if she’s not good with keeping the press off our backs.”

“Right,” Shadow continued, “You’ll know your cue. As soon as you get it you’ll have, maybe thirty seconds in the confusion to get backstage, change, and get back out here. Trust me, she’ll be so confused she won’t even notice you’re gone.”

Allison giggled. “I can’t thank you guys enough for this. See… Ever since Nikki and I have known each other, we’ve had this continuous prank war going on. Like, this one time she swapped out the shampoo in my bathroom for honey. Unfortunately my older sister was visiting, so she got her instead,” she paused, giggling, “But that was in retaliation for me putting jelly in her shoes, so…”

Shadow, Demona, Solace and Scarlet each looked at each other for what felt like an eternity, and started laughing. “No bloody wonder she idolizes Shadow,” Scarlet actually giggled, breaking character for only a moment. She quickly cleared her throat. Shadow grinned a broad, fangy grin.

“Let’s just say in my younger years I was quite the prankster.”

“’Was’?” Solace added, “You mean like how you put together this whole thing to scare the wits out of these girls for being late?”

“Hey, don’t pretend it wasn’t good for you,” she chided, poking the drummer’s ribs lightly. She then turned her attention back to us. “One last thing. We talked it over, and decided to chip in and get your friend a birthday present. You know that part of the show where you bring her on-stage?” She grinned. I knew exactly what she meant. “Well, that’s hers to keep. But don’t tell anyone until the show. You’ll see why when the time comes.” That ominous tone had returned in full strength, but I couldn’t help being excited.

We passed the next hour with the band, practicing our exit from various points around the stage. Obviously we’d be at the front with Nicole being the guest of honor for the party, but we still needed to find our best ‘mark’ to choreograph a prompt exit for what came next. Though Scarlet continued to keep her ‘pyro-launcher’ a well-guarded secret, she would count down from three, give us a verbal cue, and would time us on getting away, as Solace, Demona and Shadow acted as pedestrians, constantly finding ways to get in our way, slow us down, or trip us up to simulate the actual evening.

I think we all felt an incredible surge of euphoria as we left the auditorium. Even Heedless Despair, through all their macabre antics and gallows humor, occasionally opened up to let us see the women behind the mystique. If nothing else, it became wholly obvious to me at least, that they clearly loved their art, and enjoyed mystifying and amazing audiences. As we stepped back into the main lobby, Tina Gale approached us.

“Excuse me girls, do you have a moment?”

“Sorry, I have to leave for New Haven soon,” I offered neutrally. I still remembered her poking around week-before-last. She broke the Raggedy Man story earlier in the summer, but she’d been snooping around the school trying to learn more, presumably about me. If she made the connection and started digging, I could be in serious danger.

“Do you know anything about a famous band staying at the hotel?”

I had to tell her something, but I couldn’t betray the band that had so graciously accepted us into their inner circle, if only temporarily. Suddenly, I had an idea. “Oh yeah, I met their road crew last night.”

Both Allison and Jennifer glowered at me, but I pressed on. “They said they’re staying at the Holiday Inn in New Haven to avoid the reporters, but I can’t remember the band’s name.”

You could have heard a pin drop, for the second or two it took for those words to sink in. The entire lobby exploded into even more activity as reporters, photographers, and tabloid hounds ran over themselves and each other trying to squeeze out the double-doors. Once they had cleared out, the snarky woman from before slowly approached us. She actually smiled!

“That, my dear, was masterful. You should consider a career in public relations: or perhaps politics.”

I blushed a little, both Jennifer and Allison now giggling like a pair of hyenas. Allison finally managed to catch her breath enough to speak. “Oh.. My... God. I can’t believe that actually worked!”

Jennifer shook her head, coughing deeply, “Ow ow ow. Oh God, that was so worth the pain. Thank you Robin. You just made a perfect day better.”

Mom had apparently seen the whole spectacle from the parking lot, and had come running, even as we exited. “Is everything alright?! There’s not a building fire is there?”

This caused a whole new round of laughter from us, and a bewildered, mildly annoyed stare from her, at least until we explained on the way to the car what had just happened.

“Honestly, I was just trying to get that Tina lady to leave me alone. She’s been snooping around at school, I think trying to find out information about me regarding the threatening notes Nikki and I got. Principal Rochelle basically told her to back off and stop trying to expose students’ privacy. When the ACLU was mentioned, she backed down though.”

Mom nodded, even giggling a little. “Well, while I ordinarily don’t approve of you lying…” She paused for dramatic effect, “It sounds like Tina Gale had it coming this time.” She smiled. “Reporters have a right to know the news, but my little girl’s well-being isn’t a breaking story to be plastered all over national headlines.

“Oh, by the way, Jennifer, Allison, are you two going to New Haven with us?”

They both shook their heads, Jennifer answering first. “No ma’am. Could you drop me off at home? I need to rest my vocal chords if I’m going to be in any shape to scream at Nikki’s birthday party-slash-concert this Tuesday.”

Allison added, “Yeah, and I’ve got to talk to Nikki’s other friends and let them know what’s going on.”

“Sounds like you girls had fun at least,” Mom offered as we piled into her car. I think we were all too tired just now for the calling of shotguns. Our part in Heedless Despair’s show would be small, but rehearsal was still exhausting. I don’t know how those ladies did it for a living.

Not surprisingly, Jane waited at home for us to return, and after exchanging a few pleasantries of excitement for the coming concert, the three of us — Jane, Mom and myself, hopped into her rented BMW for the trip to New Haven. I did wonder if she had any trouble re-adjusting to driving on the other side of the road, though.

Of course, this trip was more than just pleasure. Every Saturday afternoon for the last several months now, I had a regularly scheduled appointment with my therapist, Barbara Ketzowski, Doctor Ketz for short. Every other Saturday I also had to see another doctor to ensure my hormones were properly in-balance, though fortunately I’d taken care of that visit last Saturday.

I don’t think Jane would feel terribly comfortable at the Endocrinologist’s, even despite her remarkable strides to try and accept me. She even told me she’d be taking copies of my homecoming photos back to show her roommate, and put a face to all that bile she’d lived with for so many years. I’d have loved to be a fly on the wall for the big reveal, but by that same token I couldn’t help feeling some relief that an entire ocean sat between myself and the hateful one, kind of like having an entire nation between myself and my last girlfriend, Andrea.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” I asked Jane as we rolled to a stop outside Dr. Ketz’ office building.

“Oh yes, dear, I’m quite sure, but thank you. I’m going to try and find a nail salon that takes emergency walk-ins,” she explained, delicately holding out her right hand. I could see a clear split down the right side of her index fingernail. It didn’t look too serious yet, but could get painful if it broke any further.

“Ouch! I see what you mean!” I cringed a little and, after grabbing my small white handbag, stepped out of the car with Mom. As we approached the elevator, Barbara’s familiar voice called from the side.

“Hello Robin! You’re looking lovely as always, dear.”

I smiled as I turned to her, closing the distance to wrap her in a hug. Over the last several months, Doctor Ketz had become less and less a therapist, and more and more like a favorite aunt, more-so since Mom had been an only child. If I ever married, I planned to adopt lots of kids and break that cycle.

“Hi Doctor Ketz!” I exclaimed excitedly as I hugged her. As if on cue the elevator doors opened, and the three of us stepped inside.

“How have you been, sweetheart? Did you enjoy Spirit Week?”

“It was amazing!” I giggled. “Remember how I mentioned before about Brittany not really changing all that much after her big show of getting me to stand up for her?”

She nodded. “Yes. I recall you saying you felt conflicted afterward, given how she continued to treat you badly after the fact.”

“Yeah. I think it finally caught up with her though,” I replied, and as we made our way through the lobby to her office, explained in detail how Monday had proceeded, and how Stacey had finally had enough of being treated like a villain for Brittany’s apparent plot, how on Wednesday, she had actually started getting into the spirit of things.

“She actually smiled at me during the flag-raising ceremony that morning,” I added, as I sunk back into the overstuffed sofa.

“How did that make you feel?” she asked as gently as though she were asking how ‘dressing as Robin’ made me feel so many months ago. I loved this woman’s gentle demeanor.

“Honestly, pretty good. I don’t, and can’t know how sincere she was being, but I want to believe she’s trying to stop being such a jerk. I reminded her on Monday that my life hasn’t exactly been easy either, but that I still have friends who love and care about me because I’m not constantly biting their heads off or pulling power trips to control everyone around me.”

Doctor Ketz nodded as she listened. I rambled endlessly about having Mr. Harris visit as our ‘drill instructor’ for Camo day, and admittedly I started crying as I told her how our stuffed bear became his barracks’ mascot overseas when he told them the Raggedy Man story. She smiled softly as she passed me a tissue.

“Robin, life is like the surface of a pond. Drop in a pebble, and the ripples will cascade out across the whole surface.”

I nodded, smiling as I responded, “You sound like Sensei Rogers. After Jason attacked me, I went to him for advice because I felt like the second attack was somehow my fault. He told me that there’s no way I could know for sure, that he might’ve attacked me anyway just by virtue of being a jerk like that.” Mom gently squeezed me close as I paused to gather my thoughts. I smiled a little more as I leaned into her, letting her hold me.

“Your Sensei is a wise man, and he’s absolutely right. You’ve come such a long way since that incident. We’re all very proud of you Robin. Was there anything else you wanted to discuss with me today?”

I started to giggle, causing a curious expression to cross her features. “You know how they say you shouldn’t meet your idols? Well, it’s kind of a good thing Heedless Despair aren’t my idols because they are every bit as awesome in person as their music.”

“Heedless Despair… Oh! That music act you mentioned before! I take it you’ve already met them?”

I nodded. “This morning. They put together this whole ‘scare the bejeezus out of me’ thing because I overslept. It was so fun though, like being in our own personal amusement park ride.”

Dr. Ketz genuinely laughed as I recounted the spooky experience, though I don’t know if it was so much for the tale itself, or the enthusiasm with which I told it. We talked for a short while more about how I should best handle Brittany and other students like her going forward, and after saying our goodbyes for the week, walked out to the parking lot. Jane had just pulled up, waving us over.

“I just received a call from Margie,” she grinned right at me as I slid into the rear passenger seat. “Apparently the author of your favorite comic book somehow found out about your friend’s birthday and left a surprise for you both back at home. Do you still want to go shopping, or do you want to go see the surprise?”

I stared at her, dumbfounded. How in the world could the author even know about me?! “Um… Home, if that’s alright? I mean, I’m not one to turn down a shopping trip, but this is just too weird.”

She gave me a knowing smile, nodding as she turned back in her seat and pulled away from the curb. I spent the entire ride home in silence, wracking my brain, trying to figure out how Aria Blade’s author knew about me. I wondered to myself if perhaps it had something to do with the characters looking so much like Nicole and me. Could it be someone I knew? Kelly or Carol, maybe? Neither of them had ever shown much artistic talent, though Allison played guitar, so I supposed it could be possible.

Or maybe Gina? That patently ridiculous thought did cause me to giggle. I loved Gina, but she did not strike me as the comic book type, especially for how over-the-top Aria Blade’s style seemed.

I practically darted into the house as soon as we pulled into the drive. I found Margie in the living room watching the local news, though she shut it off as I stepped inside. To steal one of Nicole’s more colorful ‘Nikki-speak’ phrases, she grinned like a mule eating briars. Without a word, she produced two copies of the latest issue of Aria Blade. I could see something had been written on the front of both.

‘To our number one fans!
- Aria Blade and Raven Wing’

I blinked, staring at Margie for several seconds. “I… don’t get it?”

Margie giggled. “The anonymous author explicitly stated that I was to give one of these to you, and the other to Nikki, though since her birthday’s in a few days I figured you’d want to hold onto hers until then.”

“But… Nikki? Do you think she’ll like it?”

“You like it, don’t you?” she asked in a more serious tone than I expected. I nodded without hesitation.

“I love it!”

“Well, there you go. Comic books aren’t just for guys, kiddo. I grew up reading them myself.”

“It’s true,” Jane laughed as she approached from behind. “I used to constantly give her a hard time about those things rotting her brain.”

“Did you see who left them? I mean, did you talk to them?”

Margie nodded, “I know who writes it, yes. If you really want to know, I can tell you.” She seemed hesitant to say that, but truthfully, I don’t think I did want to know. Not yet anyway. I smiled and hugged her tightly.

“That’s okay. Part of the magic is in the mystery. Up until today I did want to know, like everyone else, but after meeting Heedless Despair today, I realized that they’re just regular people, but they put on this big, huge show and they keep their real lives totally separate from their stage personas as part of that.”

Margie giggled to herself as she nodded. “Kind of like real-life superheroes, minus the saving the world theme.”

“Yeah, exactly!”

A knowing grin crossed her lips for just a moment, but it faded as quickly. “Anyway, I know you’re dying to see what happens next, so scoot on up to your room. Are you and Nicole going out again tonight?”

“Yeah, Gina’s going to stop by and pick me up in about an hour, and I’ll finally get to meet Nikki’s other friends.”

“Other friends?” she asked.

“You know, the ‘goth’ crowd she sometimes hangs out with.” I couldn’t really explain why we hadn’t formally been introduced yet. Nicole never offered to introduce us, and I always felt like I was intruding on something they had. Here Nicole had been this black lace-and-plum-lipstick wearing macabre beauty queen before she met me, the straight-laced girly-girl homecoming royal, and amusingly enough, technically a jock now too.

As I headed up to my room, something occurred to me at those thoughts. I hated labels. Maybe finally meeting Nicole’s other friends would help us break some of those. Maybe.

~* Sixteen Black Candles *~ After hugging Margie, to furious giggles from the both of us at knowing what really lay beneath the wrapping paper, I made my way downstairs, across the lawns, and into the Joneses’ house. Kelly had just come downstairs as I neared the basement. She smiled warmly. “Hi there. You must be one of Nikki’s friends. Everyone’s down in the den I think.” She casually nodded toward the basement stairs. I giggled. “Kelly? It’s me.” She blinked several times, moving in for a closer inspection. “Oh my God… Robin?!”

---

As I lay on my bed reading the latest issue of Aria Blade, I couldn’t help again losing myself in the fictional world. Aria’s romance of sorts with Raven had been drawn out into the open by Volcaness of all people, and then impressed upon further by Raven’s parting kiss on the last panel. In so many ways, Aria’s life seemed harder than mine, but I still couldn’t help myself in escaping to this fantasy world for a little while.

After carefully securing the latest copy, I glanced back toward my closet with a sigh. I needed to decide what to wear, and Nicole would be here soon. But should I wear something casual? We were just going to the mall and then a movie. Should I wear what I’d normally wear, or should I make a peace offering and wear something darker?

Nicole never really talked about her other friends. I knew from casual conversation that they weren’t all that close and rarely spent time talking outside school, so I gathered they were more like acquaintances with good taste in clothing, but I also sensed Nicole wanted us to finally meet as well. It was kind of funny how this whole thing came about, really.

I suddenly felt a pair of arms around me from behind, though I recognized the plum nail polish instantly, grinning as I spun around to wrap her in a hug. I didn’t notice the tall red-head dressed in the black short-sleeved blouse and skirt standing further back, though, even as she nervously fumbled with her hands, staring at the floor at Nicole’s and my familiar greeting.

My attention remained laser-focused on Nicole herself, and her cute v-neck black peasant top. It always amazed me how she could take black to new levels of attractiveness in varying style and still look like an extra from a vampire movie.

“Hey cutie,” she offered with a broad grin, resting her head on my shoulder briefly.

“Hey you. You’re early. I still haven’t decided what to wear.”

I still had on my hunter green knit top and jeans from this morning. Nicole stepped back a moment and looked me over, smiling approvingly. “What’s wrong with what you’re wearing now?”

“Nothing. I just… I, well-” I fumbled, causing her to giggle.

“Look, the others aren’t going to care what you wear, alright? If I thought they’d give a damn that you’re not ‘one of them’,” I noted she didn’t say ‘one of us’, “then I wouldn’t still be friends with them. Oh!” She suddenly turned back to the redhead. I thought I knew all of Nicole’s other friends at least by face, but this girl didn’t register.

“Robin, this is Trina,” she paused with a wicked grin, leaning over to me and whispering in my ear, “Actually, this is Trent.” She smiled knowingly, letting those words sink in before she continued, lowering her voice to a point that even I could barely hear her. “’She’ isn’t like you and Kelly in that she’s still a guy at the end of the day, but damn if she doesn’t make a cute girl.”

I peeked over Nicole’s shoulder, causing the girl to shift her gaze nervously away. I admit I felt more than a little stunned. Had Nicole told her my secret as well? I shifted slightly, looking back at her. As if she had read my mind, Nicole continued, “And before you ask, no, she doesn’t know anything.” She spoke a little closer to a normal tone after this point.

“Apparently Trina’s wanted to go shopping like this for a long time. Her younger sister thought it would be hilarious to out her in front of one of our mutual friends, one thing led to another, and now said friend asked if it would bother us to have her along for our outing tonight.” She rolled her eyes and laughed, “As if!”

By now I had managed to regain my composure. I felt guilty now because the poor thing probably thought my surprise meant that I disapproved, which of course was the farthest thing from the truth! I understood only TOO well how she felt, except for that ‘still a guy’ thing. I smiled warmly as I approached her, offering my hand.

“It’s nice to meet you Trina.”

She trembled in her two-inch heeled boots as she took my hand and shook it. I couldn’t tell her the truth of my past, having only just met, but I could try and compromise. I stepped closer and gave her a hug.

“I’m sorry if I seemed apprehensive at first. I was just surprised. It’s okay to like dressing like a girl. It’s fun being a girl, even if it’s just once in awhile.” I giggled a little. She cracked a smile as she spoke in a soft, practiced tone. Admittedly her voice fell a little on the mannish side, but not enough to really read her as the second coming of Barry White or anything.

“Thanks Robin. Your support means a lot.” She smiled shyly and seemed to relax a little. Nicole wrapped an arm around each of us.

“Laura’s waiting downstairs for us. I didn’t want to invade your personal space too badly, but I wanted you to meet Trina because I wanted her to know she has your support as much as mine.” She tilted her head away from Trina to smile and wink at me, then turned to drag us both out by the arm.

I grabbed my white handbag, mostly because I still hadn’t had time to move everything over to something that wouldn’t clash so strongly with either my sweater or the present company’s love of all things dark, and followed them down, to where this Laura person had been waiting.

Unlike Nicole and Trina, Laura’s attire, and apparently attitude, seemed far more casual with a dark t-shirt and black jeans, and a cute pleather jacket. Her hair hung in the cutest tight, dark brown ringlets. She stood as we entered the living room, offering her hand.

“Hi Robin. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Hi there,” I offered in return as we shook hands. “I’ll probably end up saying this again later tonight when we’re all together, but I’m sorry if I seemed distant toward you guys in the past. It’s just, you all and Nikki seem to share a different kind of friendship, and I didn’t want to intrude.”

She stared at me for a moment or two, and finally smiled, rolling her shoulders. “Nikki’s right. You really are a girl scout.” She grinned teasingly, adding, “Just kidding. Really, it’s kind of awkward for us too because we all used to be Jason’s friends. After that crap he pulled with you though…” She trailed off, but Nicole continued immediately.

“After the ass attacked you, they dropped him like a hot potato.”

I couldn’t help noticing Trina growing increasingly uncomfortable with the subject of Jason. When I glanced over at her, her gaze immediately shot straight down. She started chewing her lower lip.

“I’m sorry about that.” She spoke in a quivering tone. “I overheard him talking about wanting to get back at you, but I thought he was just being Jason. Y’know, the guy’s a jerk, but he’s never been really violent before. If I knew what he was planning I would’ve warned you guys.”

Nicole glanced between the three of us. She seemed as stunned as I felt at this unexpected revelation. An unsettling silence fell over the room. I finally shook my head.

“Don’t blame yourself. Like you said, the guy’s a jerk. You can’t let what you didn’t know dictate your life any more than I can. If I’d known he was going to attack me I would’ve tried to keep my self-control a little more tightly. No more blaming yourself, okay?” I smiled, trying not to sound chastising.

Trina had enough on her mind with her first real outing as a girl. I still remember how unbearably scared I felt when I had been taken to the hospital as ‘Robin’ that first day. In a way I envied Trina at least having some control over these circumstances by traveling with supportive friends, but on the other hand, her sister’s prank must have been heart-wrenching.

A short drive and some minor chit-chat along the way later we arrived at the Alpine Springs mall. Nicole and I had both taken summer jobs here after Mom recovered enough to move to Alpine Springs, but since school started, we had only made a few token visits. Not much had changed, though I noticed some subtle differences, aside from the Halloween decorations everywhere, of course.

“Where are we meeting the others?” I asked as we passed a jewelry counter set up in the center of the walkway. A gorgeous Celtic knotwork ring caught my attention, and I just had to stop and look at it.

“They should be around here somewhere,” Laura responded.

I felt Nicole’s arm around my waist a moment later and giggled. “Don’t mind me. I just find these knotwork styles really pretty. I keep the friendship bracelet Jen gave me in a safe place so I can wear it at camp next year.”

The old woman running the booth smiled at us as she turned to approach. “That’s sterling silver, too. My husband used to be a silversmith in our younger years. It’s a dying art, but we still have a few connections.”

“Probably too rich for my blood,” I offered with a giggle, “But they’re still very pretty.”

A few minutes passed before Nicole’s other friend, Mark arrived. Mark stood at about five feet seven inches with long, jet black hair. The oversized black trench coat looked a little goofy on him, but I wasn’t going to tell him that.

“You look adorable,” she whispered, stepping back again. Mark smiled uneasily. Trina’s transformation, if only a temporary one, had left the poor guy floating in a sea of estrogen, but he at least didn’t give her a hard time about it. I had to admit, whoever had done Trina’s makeup really knew what they were doing.

Laura motioned a hand toward me as she spoke. “Guys, you all know about Robin. We’ve already talked about Jason and everything, so everything’s okay.”

Mark nodded as he turned to me. “I don’t know much about girls liking girls or any of that, but Jason went way too far. Him and his little crackhead buddy can go stick their bits in a golf ball polisher for all the rest of us care.”

I had to giggle at his comment, but smiled just the same. “Thanks. I told Laura and Trina earlier, but the reason I never let Nikki introduce us before is because I didn’t want to intrude. I mean, I’m this straight-laced Girl Scout homecoming royal. It’s not that I look down on anyone else. Totally the opposite. I was worried about you all thinking I would, if… that makes any sense.”

“I can totally empathize actually,” Trina offered as we turned to head further into the mall. “I never told anyone about ‘Trina’ because I was worried about what others would think. Then my bratty little sister dropped the bomb on Laura.”

Laura giggled, which to my surprise, caused the entire group to stare at her. Nicole finally broke the awkward silence that had followed. “Laura, sweetheart, are you high?”

Laura smiled, shaking her head. “No. Why?”

Mark chuckled. “Because that’s the only time you ever giggle like that… Or at all, ever.”

I wondered if she’d be blushing, if she hadn’t worn makeup to make herself look even paler. She rolled her shoulders. “Oh shut up. I just think it’s nice that Trina’s being honest with herself.”

I had my own suspicions, but decided not to say anything. As we neared the music store where Nicole had worked over the summer, I glanced over. “Hey, do you mind if I look around for a second?”

“Actually I need to pee anyway,” Nicole unceremoniously announced, then added, “One of the benefits of knowing the manager — I get to use their employee bathroom even though I don’t work here anymore.” She winked. I couldn’t help giggling a little as we stepped inside, though not for the reason I’m sure they thought. This was the perfect opportunity!

I waited for Nicole to disappear into the back before I turned back to the others. “Okay, while she’s occupied, I need you guys’ help with something.”

Laura’s eyebrows rose slightly, and she giggled, speaking first. “You’ve been hanging around Nikki too long. I KNOW that look. So what are you plotting?”

“Weeell, have you ever seen the movie ‘Grease’? This guy Danny tries to impress the preppy foreign exchange student by becoming a jock, and at the end of the movie, she shocks him by getting herself made over to look like a biker chick. I’ve been thinking a lot about how many labels have been put on me since I moved here.

“I’m apparently a valley girl — even though I’m really from the Bay area. I’m also technically a jock now too, and lesbian, and homecoming princess … honestly, I’m tired of it the stupid labels. I want to do something for Nikki that no one would ever expect from me.” I grinned. Trina grinned too. She, of all people at least, had a better perspective to see exactly what I had in mind.

“Being a Goth girl is fun,” she twisted my earlier comment, grinning broadly, “Even if it’s only once in awhile.”

I had to giggle outright, nodding. “I want to make Nikki’s birthday absolutely perfect.”

Laura cackled, which again drew uneasy glances Mark. “You’re shorter than me, but I have quite a few things I think would fit you. Tonight, during the movie I’ll slip you my address. Come over tomorrow afternoon and I’ll teach you more than you ever wanted to know about Goth style and fashion.”

“I think I’ve created a monster,” I giggled, causing her to stick her tongue out at me. Trina and Mark both laughed, and Trina started to speak up, but Nicole returned, cutting it short.

“Find what you were looking for?” she asked as she wrapped an arm around my waist. I grinned at the others. “Yeah. I’ll pick it up tomorrow though. I don’t want to spoil the surprise.” I winked at her, causing her to giggle. Okay, so I had originally wanted to come in and find a Heedless Despair poster for the band to sign for Nicole, but this was even better!

During the movie, some new slasher film Hollywood remake, Laura, Trina and Mark sat a row behind Nicole and me. At one point I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder. Nicole’s attention was so focused on the movie that she didn’t notice as I turned back to receive a neatly folded note. I couldn’t help noticing as well, that Laura was holding Trina’s hand now, at least partially confirming my earlier suspicion.

As Nicole and I sat in the back of the Morgans’ Lexus enroute to my house, I couldn’t help smiling at her. She’d dozed off with her head on my shoulder, a positively adorable grin on her face. Gina seemed to notice as well, but didn’t say anything. I caught sight of a smile in her reflection in the rear-view mirror, though.

As we pulled into the drive, Nicole yawned, smiling up at me, and unbuckling her seatbelt as I did mine. After stepping out, she walked me to the front door where we hugged, and I kissed her good night.

“Thanks for tonight. I had a lot of fun. The others never really wanted to hang out outside school.”

I giggled. “I had fun too, and I think you’re going to see a lot more of Trina in the future.”

“You think so? I know she said she still sees herself as a guy, but she smiled a lot.”

“Yeah, I think Laura had something to do with that though. From the way you guys talked she sounded like she didn’t smile a lot, but there was some serious chemistry going on between those two.”

She laughed as she nodded. “Laura is the proverbial ice queen. I spent the afternoon with her and Trina and I still can’t believe the difference. She’s … was, kind of like me before I met you. Anyway, Mom’s waiting. G’night cutie.” She grinned.

“Sweet dreams, vampire.” I teased, giving her one last, soft kiss before she reluctantly pulled away, walking back to her Mom’s car. Meanwhile I turned to head inside.

Sunday morning passed relatively uneventfully, at least so far as I could tell. I overslept again and didn’t exactly become a part of the ‘morning’ until somewhere around ten. Sunday afternoon however, was quite an eventful occasion for me. As it turned out, Laura lived in a gated community across town.

She didn’t exactly live in the lap of luxury like the Morgans, but their condo was certainly very upscale. I had to show the security guard at the gate the note she’d given me the night before as well as my school identification just to get to the parking area.

“Hi Robin,” Laura spoke mostly neutrally, though I could still hear a hint of cheer in her voice, as she opened the door. “I hope it’s okay that I invited Trina over too.” She added, slightly more uneasily. I giggled a little.

“Laura, it’s okay. I saw you two holding hands last night. And you know Nikki and I are going steady. Trina is a nice person, whether she chooses to be Trina or Trent.”

She smiled genuinely at that. “It’s just weird for me. Trent and I have been friends for like, ever, but seeing him like this is … kind of a turn-on.” She giggled. “Whatever he… or she… decides to do, I want to be supportive, but I can’t deny that I find the whole thing a little attractive too. But it’s not like I like girls normally, either. That’s what so weird about it. Err, anyway. Sorry. C’mon, I’ve got a ton of stuff for you to try on.”

She led me inside, past the kitchen where a pair of sandy-haired twin boys that looked to be about ten or twelve busily made themselves a sandwich each. She paused long enough to motion to the two. “These are my brothers, Chris and AJ. Boys,” she emphasized the word ‘boys’, causing them to scowl in unison at her, “This’ Robin.”

One of the two looked me up and down, and shrugged. “She doesn’t look like a … what did she call her?”

He turned to his brother, who replied casually, “Preppie valley girl.”

Laura’s jaw dropped as I glanced back at her expectantly. She sighed. “… Back when Nikki first told us you guys were dating at the beginning of school, I bought into Brittany’s trash-talk. I made a casual comment about it, but that was before Nikki actually opened up about how you guys met.”

I smiled a little. “It’s fine. Brittany’s … one of a kind.”

“Thank God for small miracles?” she teased, motioning toward the stairs. I laughed as I followed her up to her room.

Her bedroom exceeded expectations of someone who, according to her friends, held a mild obsession with the macabre. Not just posters of hot bands, but of ravens, graveyard landscapes, and the all important token blacklight posters. CD cases sat in a neat stack nearly as tall as me in one corner of the room.

Trina had stretched out on the black silk comforter with her arms behind her head, apparently waiting for us, dressed in sharp contrast to the casual attire she’d worn the night before. She looked positively gorgeous. The long-sleeved, scoop neck black velvet dress she wore under a heavy leather corset looked like it had been tailor-made for her. She grinned as she hopped up off the bed to hug me.

“Robin! I just want to thank you again for last night. Without your and Nikki’s acceptance I was ready to back out, but now…” she paused, grinning at Laura. “Well, I don’t know what the future holds, but I think I like it. I still stand by my ‘I’m still a guy’ thing, but it still feels so good not having to hide my feminine side anymore either.”

Over the next couple of hours I, and I suspect Trina as well, had a whole new world opened up to us. Laura explained, and pulled examples from her closet to show, every facet and subtext of ‘Goth’ imaginable, from the ‘Romantigoth’ and EGL to industrial and old-school punk.

After much discussion on the matter, comparing Nicole’s and my personal tastes and interests, we settled on Romantigoth for me. Romantigoth was one of those things that varied from person to person, but at the same time that made nailing down what it meant for me all the more special for Nicole’s surprise.

The three of us delved deeply into Laura’s walk-in closet searching for the perfect dress. None of us knew exactly what we were looking for, but I knew I’d know it when I saw it. And then I saw it. Laura had this gorgeous, dark crimson-trimmed black Victorian style dress, though instead of a flared skirt, it hung closer to the body. Coupled with the plunging neckline and the long, flared peasant top-like sleeve, I instantly fell in love.

“That one!” I giggled, as I pointed it out. Laura glanced over, and Trina positively giggled herself.

“Oh, I can’t believe I forgot about this. I only wore it once to a costume party for my parents’ sake. They forced me to go, but with the caveat that I could at least wear whatever I wanted, so I dressed as Carmilla.”

“Who’s Carmilla?” I asked. She stared blankly at me, as though I had just asked who Ronald Reagan was.

“Carmilla? By Sheridan LeFanu? Joseph Thomas Sheridan LeFanu?” The name didn’t ring any bells. She shook her head slowly. “He was the premiere author of gothic fiction in the 1800s. His work practically shaped the Victorian era’s later offerings. Anyway, Carmilla was a noblewoman vampire who particularly enjoyed preying on young girls.

“They say it was a way of writing lesbian fiction without offending the sensibilities because the woman doing the seducing was herself a monster. Don’t get me wrong though, she fed on men too, but the bulk of the story revolved around her seducing a young girl. It was pretty funny seeing the faces of my dad’s friends every time one of them would compliment me on my costume and ask what I was supposed to be, and I’d answer ‘I’m a lesbian vampire’.”

Trina and I looked at each other, and started laughing uncontrollably. It seemed I really had found the perfect dress. Laura giggled, continuing.

“Let’s see if I have the shoes that go with it. I think they’ll fit you. You can keep this dress if you want it, by the way.” She added almost as an afterthought as she disappeared behind a rack of clothes to look for the aforementioned shoes. I stared, dumbfounded, meanwhile.

“… Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously. I told you, I forgot I even had this thing. Even if you only ever wear it one more time after the party, it will still be one more than I have.”

“Laura? Oh, I didn’t know you had guests,” a short, middle-aged woman with medium length light-brown hair appeared in the doorway. She quickly pulled the door closed again. We had been discussing makeup tips for both myself for the party, and for Trina in general. Laura glanced at the rapidly closing door and called after her. “Hey Mom, wait a minute.”

The door slowly opened again, and the woman gave her daughter a surprised, but welcoming smile. “Yes sweetheart?”

She motioned toward me with a smile. “Can you give Robin a ride home? I’m going to take Trina out to dinner.”

She looked between the three of us, as though wanting to ask why she couldn’t simply drop me off, so I added a moment later, “I still have to get a birthday present for Nikki, plus some last minute prep for her birthday.” I smiled genuinely, hoping she’d leave well enough alone for now.

She nodded. “Certainly dear. Robin, just let me know when you’re ready to leave.”

Laura exhaled slowly. “That was close. I can’t believe I just blurted that out like that.”

I laughed. “Hey, like I said last night, I’m tired of living by labels. You’re you.”

She smiled at that, and to my surprise, leaned over to hug me. “Thanks. I think I needed that. Like I said before, it’s not like I’m attracted to girls normally, but… Anyway.”

Trina nodded as she stood. I watched them awkwardly take each others’ hands and step out. I couldn’t help seeing Nicole’s and my relationship a few chapters back. I gathered the white hat box Laura loaned me to put my new dress in, and headed downstairs. I found her mother in the kitchen cleaning up after the twin terrors’ earlier sandwich excursion. After a few minutes of silence between us, she closed the refrigerator door and sighed, turning to me.

“Robin, can I be honest with you?”

I blinked, but nodded. “Um… Sure.”

“When I first heard about Laura’s friend Nicole dating another girl, it bothered me a little, but I put it out of my mind. ‘It’s not my daughter, so it’s not my business’, I thought.” I could see where this was going, and I didn’t like it, but I decided to hear her out. “Now though, Laura suddenly brings home this girl I’ve never seen before, and … well, I haven’t seen her genuinely smile like that in a long time.

“She’s been so depressed that even her friend Trent couldn’t pull her out of it. I just don’t know what to think. Am I a terrible person for worrying about Nicole um… ‘rubbing off’ on her like that?” She frowned.

I sat down at the breakfast bar that divided the kitchen from the dining room, considering how I could set her mind at ease without betraying Trina’s trust.

“Well… To start with, I have to be honest with you. I’m ‘that girl’ Nikki’s dating. We’ve been going steady for a few months now.”

Her cheeks shifted through several hues of red, and she sheepishly lowered her gaze. I offered a smile as I stood and walked around the bar to give her a hug. “No, don’t take it badly. I’m getting used to people’s preconceived notions about this sort of thing. My own step-sister’s real mom had some nasty things to say before she actually met me. The thing is, the boy Nikki was dating before… One of Laura’s former friends, Jason? He was a real jerk. I don’t know if you know this or not, but he attacked me at school a few weeks ago.” That got her attention.

“He what?!”

I nodded. “He and another boy tried to gang up on me as I was leaving cheer tryouts because I humiliated him that morning. It’s a really, really long story that I don’t really want to get into, but basically, everyone I’ve talked to who knew Nikki before we started dating says she’s a much brighter, much happier person now. Now that said, I’m not saying your daughter might be lesbian.

“She’s actually confided in me, of all people, that she isn’t normally attracted to girls at all. Trina is a very special case, and I don’t know if I can violate her trust by telling you why that is. I just have to ask that you trust your daughter, and think of her happiness. Would you prefer she date a person who makes her smile, or someone like Nikki’s last boyfriend? And… I should also mention that unlike Laura, Nikki’s admitted several times that she’s known she likes girls for a long time now as well.”

She stared at me silently for a long, awkward moment, and finally sighed. “I suppose you’re right. I don’t know how I’m going to tell her father though.”

“Why not show him instead? I mean, let him see the difference Trina’s already had on her. Her friends were shocked last night that she was actually smiling and laughing. I only just met her, but I’ve seen that kind of change before in Nikki, before and after we started dating. This really isn’t as big an issue as it seems, but I made a promise to support Trina. If I thought for even a moment that Laura was in any danger, you’d be the first person to know.”

“Thank you, Robin,” she offered more gently this time as she smiled. “You’re a great kid. I just want what’s best for Laura. I eventually do want grandchildren too,” she chuckled. I grinned.

“Trust me, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. Thank you for giving me a ride home by the way,” I added, quickly changing the subject. “Laura actually gave me one of her dresses to wear as a surprise for Nikki’s party.”

By Tuesday afternoon, everyone knew about Nicole’s party. I had a number of people asking what the big surprise was, and I had to give the same answer every time. “It’s a surprise. You’ll find out when Nikki does.”

Immediately after school, we all met at Allison’s for a private pre-party party. All except me, at least. Under the guise of getting her present, I returned to my house to get ready while Allison, Jennifer, Chelsea and Maria kept her occupied down in the den.

I had just stepped into my ‘Carmilla’ dress and stood at the floor-length mirror that hung from the inside of my closet. I fiddled and tugged, adjusted and shifted until everything hung just right. The dress showed more cleavage than I honestly felt comfortable with, but with it being only this one night and a special occasion I convinced myself it would be okay just this once.

“Wow, Robin you look amazing!” Margie giggled, placing a hand on my bare shoulder. I spun around and curtseyed playfully.

“You’ll never catch me in anything this… exposed again, but it’s so worth it to see the look on Nikki’s face.”

“That is an awful lot of exposed skin for a girl your age, but it could be worse. The lace on the bodice looks like whoever made it wanted to intentionally provide a little extra modesty without looking like they were doing so. It’s actually kind of clever.”

I had to giggle. “You sound like Aunt Jane. I never new artistry ran in your side of the family, but it kind of makes sense now, with your hands-on approach to running Touch of Style.”

She smiled proudly as she nodded. “Want some help with your hair?”

By the time we had finished, I looked absolutely nothing like my former self. We put my hair up in loose ringlets, tying some back into a ponytail with wide, dark red ribbon, while framing my face with my more tightly curled bangs. For my makeup, we accentuated my already naturally light skin with heavy, dark eye makeup and lipstick, finishing off with matched nail polish.

“How do I look?” I asked Margie as I stood to face her. She giggled. “There’s just one thing missing.” She disappeared into the hallway, presumably heading for her bedroom. “Okay, sit at your vanity and close your eyes,” she insisted as she returned.

For the next few seconds I could feel her removing the silver stud earrings I had been wearing, replacing them with something that had much more weight, then something cold and metallic settling just above my breasts. I opened my eyes to find a matched set of silver ankh earrings and a pendant hanging from a chain about my neck. I giggled as I stood to hug her.

“They’re perfect! Where did you get these?”

She laughed. “The short answer is, costume party back in college. I’ll give you the long version another time, but right now Nikki’s probably starting to worry about where you’ve gone.”

“Yeah, no doubt. Oh! Almost forgot this,” I added, reaching for the box-shaped brightly-wrapped parcel. After hugging Margie, to furious giggles from the both of us at knowing what really lay beneath the wrapping paper, I made my way downstairs, across the lawns, and into the Joneses’ house. Kelly had just come downstairs as I neared the basement. She smiled warmly.

“Hi there. You must be one of Nikki’s friends. Everyone’s down in the den I think.” She casually nodded toward the basement stairs. I giggled.

“Kelly? It’s me.”

She blinked several times, moving in for a closer inspection. “Oh my God… Robin?!”

I nodded, giggling. “I’m giving ‘myself’ for Nikki’s birthday, so to speak. If you want to see her reaction go on down. Just tell her I sent you to let her know I’d be right down.”

I watched as Allison’s giggly older sister practically bounded down the stairs. I hadn’t seen her this excited about anything in … well, ever. I waited around for a few more seconds for dramatic effect, then pushed the basement door open.

I could clearly hear strains of Heedless Despair’s latest album echoing from below as I stepped onto the stairs. The music suddenly shut off, and the heavy stiletto boots Laura gave me to wear with the dress resounded loudly. I could hear a whispered “Ohmygawd” from Nicole as my boots and the bottom half of my dress became visible beyond the stairs, but it was nothing compared to her reaction when I appeared.

Standing there, dressed every bit the Gothic Birthday Princess in a flowing, dark purple-and-black gown, she frowned, turning back to the others. “False alarm. It’s just Laura. Who else did you guys invite anyway?”

I walked right up behind her, tapping her on the shoulder. When she spun back around, I grinned. “It is me, you goof. Laura’s like, two inches taller than me.” I giggled.

Her mouth fell open and she stared in stunned silence. Allison, Jennifer and Kelly giggled, but Maria and Chelsea joined Nicole in that stunned silence. I ‘d forgotten that neither of them actually saw me in my ‘Carmilla’ dress until now.

“Oh my God!” Nikki squealed as she hugged me tightly. A flood of tears poured down her cheeks. “Robin, I… Wow!” she stammered.

“Happy Birthday Nikki. Laura DID give me this dress so you were half-right, but I wanted to make this night perfect for you, so this is just the start.”

“You guys…” she sniffed, wiping her eyes with her hand. “Robin, you didn’t have to do all this. Thank you so much.” It took her until now to notice I still held a brightly wrapped box. I offered it to her with a broad, innocent smile, which with my heavy makeup probably looked as mischievous as Shadow’s.

I watched as she tore open the paper, and a round of giggles echoed at her puzzled expression as she found a cracker box inside.

“… Sorry. I’ve been hanging around you and Ally too long. Look inside.”

She carefully opened the box and peeked inside. “There’s… What is… Oh my Gawd.” She carefully pulled the signed comic book from its box, shifting her gaze from it to me in utter confusion.

“How… How did you know?”

“I didn’t. Nikki, I’ve been following this comic book since like, July. I first noticed the characters kind of looked like us, and went and tracked down all the old issues. A couple of days ago, Margie told me the anonymous author dropped two of these off.”

Allison giggled as she came over to wrap us both in a hug. “I’ve wanted to tell you both that you were overreacting on not wanting to tell each other for awhile now, but you both vehemently made me swear not to say anything.”We both turned to stare at her. “No, I’m not the author before you ask.” She grinned.

I turned back to Nicole, and she to me, and we both muttered a united ‘I’m sorry’, followed by another round of giggles.

“I didn’t want you to know because comics seemed like such a ‘guy’ thing,” I offered, smiling sheepishly.

Nicole laughed. “Seriously? I was afraid to tell you because up until the June issue, it’s been predominantly about Raven Wing, telling the story from her perspective as a villain. But I gotta say I like the way the author’s taken the story and shifted it. Have you read this one yet?”

“Yes! It is amazing, but I won’t ruin it for you. Trust me though, the last panel will leave you scratching your head. Something’s going on with Raven Wing mentally. Psychic Strike REALLY did a number on her.”

Maria rolled her eyes and laughed. “Jeeze, you two. I’m gonna have to borrow a copy of these things now. You make it sound really awesome.”

Although barely after five, we started for the hotel under the guise of heading to the ‘real’ party at Chelsea’s. Nikki started giving me strange looks when Carol pulled her SUV into the hotel parking lot, followed closely by Chelsea and Maria, and Mom and Margie. I wished Aunt Jane could’ve seen this.

Many, many other kids were already arriving, as well as a handful of reporters. I recognized Tina Gale among them, but there was no way she’d recognize me in this outfit. I did get quite a few stares, and a few giggles though, as people saw me holding Nicole’s hand as we entered, and put two and two together.

“Robin? What’s going on? I thought we were going to Chelsea’s?” I just grinned at her, giving her hand a light squeeze. I stopped outside the conference hall and turned back to her.

“I just want to say upfront, that this was all Ally’s doing. Jen and I helped her plan it, but she instigated the whole thing.” I pushed the door open, leading her inside. Beyond the door, a makeshift dance floor had been set up, black and purple balloons and matched decorations hung throughout the hall, and over the stage, a huge banner hung that read “Happy Sweet Sixteen, Nikki!”

She stared in awe as we gathered around her, and turned to hug each of us. I got an extra special girlfriend-only kiss as well, which admittedly made me giggle.

“You guys… Thank you so much!”

We moved away from the door as more and more people arrived. I couldn’t believe we managed to keep the big surprise a secret for how many people didn’t personally know any of us. I wasn’t complaining, though. With leaked rumors of a big name band performing, even if at this point we’d managed to contain it to JUST look like a bunch of rumors, it was to be expected.

Just as things seemed to finally be settling down, the lights dimmed and a familiar, blue hue cast on the stage. All eyes turned toward the tall figure shrouded and obscured in black cloth. A slow mist began to roll over the stage as the figure lifted a delicate, pale hand. Practically half the auditorium screamed in unison as the lights went out, a bright flash of red light exploded at our feet, and smoke billowed up. This had to be the cue we were waiting for.

In the confusion, the three of us made our escape. I felt kind of guilty abandoning Nicole in the chaos, but the lights had at least returned to reveal our mysterious disappearance now.

We, meanwhile, had run off backstage, where Heedless Despair waited, holding our costumes. We each quickly stepped into our black shrouds, and awaited our cue.

A long, loud, ear-shattering cackle followed from beyond the curtain.

“Come, my minions!” Scarlet threw back her hood, casting her robe aside. The crowd exploded into screams of adoration. The three of us, shrouded in our formless hooded robes, stepped onto the stage. For now, the band's instruments lay hidden safely behind a false curtain directly behind us.

She turned to us, then pointed a long, slender finger at Nicole. “Prepare the supplicant for ascension!” She hissed. The wireless microphone I dared not guess where she’d hidden sent her command throughout the sound system.

We walked slowly to the edge of the stage as ominous organ music played softly, the thickening fog rolling over the edges at our feet. As we descended the stairs, the crowd around Nicole backed away, watching as Jennifer and I each took an arm. Allison held up one hand and beckoned, not so much for Nicole to follow, but for us to lead her.

As we pulled her along and up the stairs, Demona appeared stage-left. She folded her arms and watched the spectacle with an amused smirk.

“Can I have this one? She’s awfully cute…”

“No, fool!” Scarlet snapped back. “This is the one that captured Shadowfang’s curiosity. Speaking of which, where are those two hiding. SHADOW, SOLACE!” She screeched.

I started to reach for my hood, pretending to be one of the two band members. Nicole turned to stare at me in surprise, which made the fiery explosion that revealed Solace’s appearance from the opposite side of the stage all the better.

She pantomimed a yawn, glowering at Scarlet, and with a tug, pulled away the curtain to reveal not only her drums, but also Demona’s and Shadow’s instruments, which I admit I had never seen before now.

Demona’s guitar body looked like a macabre, gothic depiction of a goat’s head, and Shadow’s, a bat’s wing. With no sign of Shadow though, we knew what to do next.

As Demona took up her guitar, and Solace took her place at her drums, Scarlet watched silently as we led Nicole to the bass. Allison knelt and picked up the instrument, turning back as Jennifer and I let go of her, and draping the strap around her neck. We then stepped off to the side, putting our hands together and burying them within the sleeves of our robes like good little ‘minions’.

“Since Shadowfang has decided not to join us, for which I shall … deal with her later … You may join us in her stead. I assume you know how to use that thing.” She nodded toward Nicole, waiting expectantly for an answer.

While it took Nicole a few seconds to really shake the cobwebs after being completely blindsided by what just happened, she stared down at the bass in her hands, and grinned like a great white.

“Err, yes, of course, O Queen of dark magic, thank you. You won’t regret this!”

Solace leaned to one side, whispering just below a stage whisper so Nicole could hear, without alerting the crowd, “Undeath’s a Bitch in ‘B’!”

She shot the living dolly drummer a knowing grin and nodded, and at the run-up, began to play. I’d seen Nicole play many times before, but never with such passion as she did during the Intro to that song. Throughout the song Demona would come and stand behind her, matching riffs with her, or Nicole would spin in a circle, Demona following.

Halfway through the second song though, the lights began to dim, and the blue hue returned. Scarlet abruptly stopped singing, pretending to be confused by the sudden shift, even as the other three kept playing.

At the part in the song where there would normally be just one bass playing an incredibly fast rhythm, the sounds of a second bass in compliment to the first could be heard.

As the lights slowly rose again, Shadowfang stepped onto the stage holding a brand new bass modeled after those old hexagonal caskets. As she played, she approached Nicole, who hadn’t noticed her yet. She abruptly jumped when she turned to find herself face to face with her idol.

Shadow grinned, hissing, “Hi there.”

Scarlet cackled in that fiendish, wicked-witch way as the music stopped. “Shadow, this is the girl we were told about.”

As Shadow sized Nicole up, walking around her slowly, the three of us took advantage of the confusion to sneak off-stage and out of our borrowed robes. We walked back into the audience. Nicole turned as Shadow circled her, each eyeing the other. Finally, Shadow smiled, a dark and creepy expression that, had I not met them already, would have given me chills.

“So you are the one. Well, let’s just see if you’re worthy! Hit it, Solace!” She shouted, and a the drummer struck up a new, faster beat.

Shadow strolled across the stage and turned back to face Nicole, starting a solid bass rhythm for Nicole to play to. Nicole matched her, and then bested her with a more complex riff. Shadow smirked, matching the rhythm, and adding more complexity still.

The back and forth continued for a full minute, until finally, Scarlet held up both hands. “Enough! Demona, what do you think?”

Demona Rose smiled an impish smile. “I think she’s awfully cute.” The crowd giggled as Nicole blushed deeply.

“You know what I mean!” Scarlet scolded.

She giggled menacingly. “I would call it a draw. What do you think, O Dark one?” She deferred the question back to Scarlet, who nodded.

“I agree. Nicole Morgan, Shadowfang, step forward.” Nicole slowly approached. Shadowfang, turning to hand off her bass to a waiting Demona, approached as Scarlet placed her hands on Nicole's shoulders, grinning wickedly at her. “You have matched the creature Shadowfang at her own game. Your reward is your continued existence, and this…” she motioned to the bass, with a grin.

I could only assume that on that cue, someone backstage shut off her microphone temporarily because she leaned over and whispered something to her that none of us could hear. Nicole’s eyes widened. A moment later, she turned to Shadow who also whispered something to her. Nicole grinned broadly, turning to race off-stage even as Shadow retrieved her Casket bass.

Unable to resist temptation, I left the others behind, heading backstage myself, where I found Rita carefully placing Nicole’s new bass into its custom carrying case. She looked like she’d been crying again, which wasn’t surprising in the least given all that had just transpired.

The moment Nicole saw me, she came running, very nearly knocking me over as she hugged and kissed me. I laughed as I held her close. “Happy birthday Nikki.”

“I love you so much,” she sobbed in response.

Rita grinned as she approached, setting the case beside us. “I done told ‘er you was by her side da whole time. I hope you don’t mind me spoilin’ dat surprise, but she was worried ‘bout where you disappeared, dat you might not seen what was happenin’.”

“When Shadow asked me why we were going to all this trouble for someone’s sweet sixteen, I told her it’s because you deserved it. You haven’t had an easy life, Nikki, and we all know that. We wanted this to be the best day of your life.”

Still crying, she nuzzled into my bare shoulder, clinging tightly to me. “Robin… Every day is a best day ever when we’re together. Thank you so, so much though. I can never make this up to you.”

“You don’t have to make this up to us. Just continue being you. C’mon. Let’s go catch the rest of the show.” I smiled at her, and, without letting go carefully led her back out to the audience.

Once in a lifetime experiences seemed to just find their way to us. A lot of bad things happened to us, and to me, but the good things far, far outweighed them, and now I could say I helped to contribute to another very positive memory for a very deserving young woman.

Even if Nicole and I didn’t stay together, for some unforeseen future reason, we would always be best friends, though from where I stood that day, wild horses couldn’t separate us.

~* The After-Party *~ “I wanted to talk to Nik–ole a second,” he corrected himself rather quickly, speaking in a markedly quiet tone. I didn’t buy it, but I didn’t have to. Nicole placed her hand on Allison’s shoulder. “Ally, it’s okay.” She stepped closer, staring him in the eye. “Look, we were never all that close. You and I both know there was nothing between us. I tried to be the girlfriend you wanted me to be, but it was all an act. I love Robin-” Before she could continue, Shadow’s stage character voice interrupted in a sharp hiss. “Is this fool bothering you?”

---

Author's Note:
Sorry this one's a bit short, but I wanted to cover the after-party as its own mini-chapter and bring back some plot elements that were introduced in an earlier chapter before going forward; plus I'm in the process of migrating to a new PC, so I didn't know when I'd be able to properly post again ;-)

Theoretically it shouldn't be a problem, but computers are sneaky beasts.

~Zoe

---

As I escorted Nicole back into the audience, a new round of cheers and screams followed in our wake, nearly eclipsing the actual performance still going on-stage. Shadowfang glanced down at us with a wink and a brief smile as we approached the stage again, even as Allison, Jennifer, and the others rushed over. I had been so occupied with the show that I hadn’t even realized the girls from Cabin Thirteen had been in the audience the whole time as well. Natalie wrapped Nicole in a hug, followed quickly by Rachel, even as I stepped back.

“Rachel! Nat!” Nicole bubbled.

“Happy Birthday!” they responded in unison, Rachel adding, “Robin made sure we knew ahead of time; we’re just sorry we couldn’t help plan it. Oh, we left your presents at your house.”

“Oooh. Wha’dja get me?” she said teasingly, but I could hear the excitedness in her tone.

“Now, now,” Natalie chided, “No spoiling the surprise!”

Maria and Chelsea approached a moment later, the former adding, “Holy Mother of God, Nikki. Wha’d Scarlet say to you? That was the most epic thing I’ve ever seen!”

Nicole started blushing again. “Um… She wants me to come backstage after the concert so we can talk more. Apparently they… think I’ve got some talent.”

“Wait, you mean…”

She laughed, quickly correcting that assumption, “Oh no, nothing like that! No, I’m not THAT good. Not yet anyway.”

Chelsea rolled her eyes, “Oh please! That was amazing. You had their bassist sweating!”

The playful banter continued for another couple of minutes, and as the music ended, Scarlet actually skipped to center stage, turning to face the audience. Demona Rose and Shadowfang flanked her a moment later. She turned her head, grinning at each respectively, and after winking at Nicole, she held up her hands.

“It is time, sisters dear, to cast our magic upon these mortals. And to you whom have summoned us here tonight,” she pointed a delicate finger directly at us, continuing in a mysterious and ominous tone, “I wish you each interesting times.”

At their cue, Demona and Shadow stepped back again and started up their next song. The slow rhythm almost like a funeral march also had something of a romantic, if dark, macabre twist on romance, to it. Nicole squeezed my hand, pulling me to the center of the dance floor where the crowd backed away in a circle. A red-filtered spotlight fell on us, and I thought I caught a glimpse of Rita grinning at us from the backstage access door. Taking our cue, I put my arms around Nicole and let her lead me in the last dance.

This was Nicole’s special, perfect night, but I couldn’t help losing myself in it as well. I closed my eyes as the music stole us away, and for a moment the rest of the world melted into darkness. Right here, right now, only we mattered.

When the music ended, I looked up to see the band now gone, the false curtain restored, and the lights back to their fullest. Nicole giggled as she squeezed me close.

“Ready to go meet the band?” she asked enthusiastically.

“I thought they wanted to talk to you?”

“Well, they do, but you’re honorary members, so it’s okay.” She had a point. I grabbed her hand, and as we made our way toward the backstage access grabbed Jennifer, who in-turn got Allison’s attention. It seemed unusually dark backstage, though, like someone forgot to turn on several lights. I could still see a familiar form in the dim light though, and I didn’t like it.

“Jason?” Nicole scowled on seeing her ex-boyfriend loitering backstage. He didn’t seem his normal self, though. He shuffled nervously as he approached us.

“Hi Nikki.”

“NICOLE to you pal,” she snapped. “You lost your ‘Nikki’ privileges when you attacked Robin.”

He frowned, staring between us. I didn’t say a word. I made things worse the last time we met, and he already knew I could take him down if he provoked me. He kept his distance though.

“What the hell are you doing back here anyway?” Allison barked defensively as she stepped between Nicole and Jason.

“I wanted to talk to Nik–ole a second,” he corrected himself rather quickly, speaking in a markedly quiet tone. I didn’t buy it, but I didn’t have to. Nicole placed her hand on Allison’s shoulder.

“Ally, it’s okay.” She stepped closer, staring him in the eye. “Look, we were never all that close. You and I both know there was nothing between us. I tried to be the girlfriend you wanted me to be, but it was all an act. I love Robin-”

Before she could continue, Shadow’s stage character voice interrupted in a sharp hiss. “Is this fool bothering you?”

Jason spun around, coming face to face with all four members of Heedless Despair, Shadow leading the pack, but they were all scowling at him. His eyes grew wide and he tried to back away, stumbling into Allison in the process. He fell backwards, scrambling back to his feet and practically sprinting out the door.

Shadow narrowed her deep, hazel eyes, cracking a grin. It became quickly apparent she was doing all she could not to start laughing. Solace giggled to herself as the mummy-wrapped bassist motioned for us to follow. Nicole grabbed her bass case, hurrying to catch up to the band, with us following along behind her.

“So what was that about?” she asked, as the four led us down the corridor. Nicole sighed.

“That was my ex boyfriend. Long story short, the guy’s an irrational, arrogant jerk. I’ve never seen him act so nervous though.”

“Was that before or after Shadow made him wet himself?” Demona giggled, causing us all to laugh as Nicole responded.

“Before. It’s like he wasn’t himself.”

Shadow mused as she came to a halt outside a heavy wooden door, turning back to us. “Guess I shouldn’t have scared him off, then. Alright girls, this is the green room. We don’t normally allow people back here with us that aren’t family, but we’re making an exception for you guys.”

Nicole blinked, staring at her. “Um… Not that I’m not really, really excited and honored, but why us?”

Shadow chuckled to herself. “Because you remind me of a younger me.” She pushed the door open, motioning for us to follow, even as the other three band members entered. Demona made a bee-line for the other side of the room, and as we entered, we could see why. She may have been all teasing and flirty with Nicole on-stage, but it seemed she had someone waiting for her off-stage. She wrapped her arms around a tall, well-built man with long, jet black hair pulled into a tight ponytail, and after a long kiss, turned back to us, smiling wryly.

Shadow rolled her eyes. “Oh get a room you two.”

Demona smiled smugly. “Maybe later.”

Meanwhile Nicole seemed to still be reeling from Shadow’s comment. She stepped around in front of the bassist. I couldn’t quite make out what they were saying, and I didn’t have time to really try and pick any of it up, as Scarlet had by now set her attention on me, walking around me slowly.

“That is a really nice dress. You didn’t strike me as the Romantigoth type though.” She grinned as I turned back to face her. I blushed a little.

“It was a gift from one of Nikki’s friends, actually. I told her I wanted to make Nikki’s birthday perfect,” I proceeded to explain how the whole little sub-event had come about, but I couldn’t help noticing out of the corner of my eye that Nicole looked like she was about to cry again. She smiled, hugging Shadow, who held her in a close hug for several seconds in response.

Jennifer and Allison had gravitated to chatting with Demona and her boyfriend, meanwhile Scarlet and I talked for a little while longer.

“So, Nikki and … Ally, was it?” she asked. I nodded, “are musicians. What about Jennifer and yourself?”

“Ahhhh no,” I giggled. “Jen might be, but I have no musical talent at all.”

“Ah, that’s a shame. You guys have the kind of chemistry that works well for what we do. You have to really, really like each other to spend several months out of a year on a cramped up bus or private jet with each other.”

“So, um… Not to violate your stage life-private life boundary, but did you guys know each other long before you became the Queens of darkness?”

Shadow laughed as she glanced over at us. “Demona, Scarlet and Solace have been together for years. They only ‘summoned’ me up when they formed Heedless Despair. They needed a bassist, and I needed to eat.”

Demona added, “We acquired her services, she gets all the free, delicious young souls she can handle. It’s a win-win.”

Shadow snickered impishly as she turned back to Nicole. “Anyway, are you okay?”

Nicole nodded. “Yeah… Not even Jason can ruin tonight. Thank you so much for coming.”

Shadow genuinely smiled, even as the other three approached as well. “You’re welcome. I’ve never had someone call me their hero. I guess I just had to meet you for myself. Unlike these guys,” she motioned to the others, “I’m still getting used to being famous. It’s fun, don’t get me wrong, but … Well, let’s just say you made my night too.” She smiled, even as Nicole giggled.

“Anyway, we should get out of your way so you can change and get out of here before someone important tries to sneak back here. I guess I’ll see you guys again in a couple of weeks?”

Shadow stared in confusion for a moment before realization washed over her features. “Oh, you’re coming to that private Halloween party?”

Nicole laughed, “Um… Close. It’s kind of at my house.”

Shadow turned to look at Scarlet, who nodded. “I told you that already, but you were so out of it that night I’m not surprised you forgot.” She elbowed the bassist lightly.

“Ah! THAT night, yes. Unlike my dad I can’t hold my liquor.” She smiled wryly as she turned back to Nicole. “So, yes, we’ll see you again soon. Rita has your contact information. I hope you don’t mind if we come ahead of time as our off-stage selves to check out the area. We like to do a lot of our own setup, but if we showed up dressed like this it could cause … problems.” She grinned.

Nicole laughed as she nodded. “That’s fine. I mean, I know some people would pay a fortune to spoil the fun and photograph you without the stage makeup, but your millions of true fans know the magic’s in the suspension of disbelief. We love you for putting on a great show.” She beamed, causing the band to all smile. The muscular man who had, until now, remained silent stepped closer. As he wrapped an arm around Demona’s waist he smiled at Nicole, speaking in an articulate, refined, and only faintly British-to-my-ears-at-least accent.

“I wish more people thought like you girls. It would make my job and the ladies’ lives easier.”

Demona smiled as she turned to kiss his cheek. “Yes, but since when is the easy way any fun?”

He laughed, and the band waved as we turned to step out. Shadow called after us though. “Oh, Nikki!” She practically ran to catch up to us, resting her hand on the bass guitar case. “Look at the back when you get a chance.”

“Wha?” Nicole responded, but Shadow simply winked, turning to cross back to her bandmates again.

Thankfully Jason was nowhere in sight as we walked together back toward the main conference room. I squeezed Nicole’s free hand causing her to smile and kiss my cheek. Allison’s curiosity finally got the better of her as we reached the backstage access door.

“Hey, what were you and Shadow talking about?”

“I promised her I wouldn’t say,” Nicole responded, turning to hug Allison, “But she was right. We have a lot in common.” She left it at that, pushing the door open and stepping out into a deluge of people and reporters flashing pictures of the four of us. Rita had apparently been anticipating it, as she stepped in front of us.

“Alright people, leave da kids alone before I call security an’ have ya all t’rown outta here!”

Nicole giggled as the interim manager led us through the slowly dispersing crowd. The route she used for us a few days before felt familiar, and now understandable, as she took us out the back where a pair of black limousines awaited. Mom, Margie, and Bob and Gina were waiting close by. We all excitedly exchanged hugs, and as the girls and I piled into one of the limos, Mom and Margie took Margie’s car, following us back to Nicole’s house for the after-party party.

As we sat in the Morgans’ den giggling over chocolate cake, Gina came into the room holding a small, plain black box wrapped in purple ribbon. She smiled at Nicole as she approached. “You have one last present, sweetheart. This is from your father and me.”

Nicole stared at the little box, which admittedly looked like something that might contain a bracelet or other jewelry. “Aw, you didn’t have to do that. Just letting Ally go nuts and get Heedless Despair here was way more than enough.” She accepted the box anyway, pulling the ribbon away.

She stared in utter disbelief as she looked between the open box and Gina, though. “… Oh… Oh my God. OH MY GOD!” she squealed, LEAPING off the sofa into her mother’s waiting arms.

“You mean it?!” she giggled madly. “Oh my God!”

“Yes, we mean it! You’ve put so much work into that old Mustang. We talked about buying you a new car, but felt you would appreciate this much more.”

“Heck yeah!” she squealed, hugging her tightly. Her father poked his head around the corner, grinning like the proverbial Cheshire cat.

“I take it you told her?”

Nicole, misty-eyed, stared at him for only a moment before racing across the room to wrap him in a hug next. “Daddy, thank you SO much!”

“You’re welcome. Now, remember, you can’t drive anywhere by yourself until after you get your license, but I can take you to take your test tomorrow.”

She tilted her head back toward me and giggled. “Hear that, Robin? You and me, New Haven, this Saturday!”

Gina let out a playful groan, “We’ve created a monster!”

Late that night, as I lay across my bed and cuddled Mister Kensington close, I found myself reflecting on the day’s events. My mind kept returning to Jason, though. What did he want, and how exactly did he get backstage anyway? During school hours he was supposed to stay away from us, but they said nothing about after-school. Mom appeared in the doorway and smiled at me. I sat up and motioned for her to come over, swinging my legs over so she could sit beside me.

“Is everything alright?” she asked, as I leaned into her, setting Mister Kensington aside in favor of her more real embrace. I smiled cheerfully as I nodded. “Yeah. Mostly. I mean, Nikki’s party was sooo awesome. Everything went better than perfect, except…”

“Except what, sweetheart?” she frowned.

“Except… Jason was waiting for us backstage. I guess he thought it’d just be Nikki. He’s supposed to stay away from us at school, but they never said anything about after school.”

“Well, what did he say?” she pressed.

“He said he just wanted to talk to her a second, but Shadow scared him off.” I giggled a little. “He literally fell over himself trying to get away from her. It was priceless.”

“Well,” Mom began in that motherly, lecture incoming tone, “Just remember that the world isn’t always black and white. Sometimes people can change, and sometimes not.”

I looked up at her, confused. “Are you saying I should give that jerk the benefit of the doubt? Mom, he attacked me! It’s not like Brittany, or even her jerk boyfriend leaving nasty notes in my locker. He physically assaulted me!” Okay, so I exaggerated a little bit. Thanks to Sensei’s training he never got the chance to do any serious harm before my coaches came running.

She sighed, “I’m only saying that not everything’s always as it appears. Remember Mrs. Beaumont, from the hospital?”

I rolled my shoulders a little. “Yeah. What about her?”

“She’s dying, sweetheart.”

“… What?”

“She has cancer, and the doctors have given her six months, a year at most.”

I stared in disbelief. I just had to know when she found out. “When did she find out?”

“She’s known she’s been sick for a long time now, but she received the news back in June some time when she suddenly got worse.”

“Oh my God…” I finally managed in a whisper, turning to bury myself in her shoulder as I hugged her tightly. I nearly lost her once. I couldn’t begin to imagine what that must have done to him. Wait… Was I actually feeling sorry for that jerk?

“Like I said, I’m not saying you should forgive him for what he’s done, but don’t be afraid to be open to the possibility that he’s just lashing out for some sense of control too. Just like Brittany and her father.” She gently cupped my face in her hands, bringing my chin up and looking me in the eye. She smiled and kissed my forehead. “What you decide to do is ultimately up to you. No one can make the decision for you.”

“I guess the ‘adult’ thing to do would be to offer the olive branch, huh?”

She smiled, nodding. “You never know if they’ll accept it, or burn it, until you offer it, but either way, you’ll have done all that you can, and that’s what’s important.”

“Thanks Mom. I really needed that.” I leaned up to kiss her cheek, squeezing her tightly. “But… Mrs. Beaumont. Is there anything her doctors can do?”

“I’m honestly not sure. There are cancer treatment centers that have reported great success with certain types of cancer, but she didn’t seem receptive to the idea.” She frowned. “It’s like with Jason, she has to be willing to fight it, to find hope within herself, otherwise there’s nothing anyone else can do.”

I stared down at the bin where I stored my Aria Blade comics at those words. Hope was a precious commodity. I crawled into bed, letting Mom tuck me in as I thought about what she’d said. I started to wonder if maybe there was something I could do. A girl scout’s gotta try.

~* Unmasked! *~ Normally I didn’t drink coffee, but I could use a jolt, so I took a sip then slid it back to her. “Thanks. I needed that.” “Sure. So?” Allison grinned, “Robin’s going to make her own Aria Blade costume for Nikki’s party.” Margie raised her mug, enjoying a slow, contemplative sip before she answered. “Sounds like fun. Hey, you said last night that Nikki’s taking her driving test this afternoon. Why don’t you come over to Touch of Style after school while she’s distracted with that? I mean, I’m no world-class dress designer like Mom, but if you don’t mind, I’d love to help.”

---

I laid awake in bed for what felt like hours thinking about a lot of things, but mostly about Jason’s mother. I knew how difficult things were for me, never knowing if the next call could be Kelly with bad news. I think I eventually cried myself to sleep but it had to have been well past midnight. At least, midnight was the last time I looked at my alarm clock.

It didn’t excuse Jason’s actions, and from what Nicole had told me, he had always been kind of a jerk, but I still wondered how much worse it all had become with this news. At least now I knew why he had been at the hospital that day. I had to put it out of my mind though, as I slowly rolled out of bed.

After picking out my clothes for the day, I sleepily plodded into the bathroom, and by the time I finally emerged from my morning shower, Allison had already arrived to catch a ride to school with me. Hopefully Nicole could give us a ride tomorrow if all went well with her driving test, though.

“Wow, Robin, are you okay?” Allison asked as we met at the bottom of the stairs. I gave her a wry, sleepy smile as I shook my head.

“Yes and no. I didn’t sleep well last night.”

She giggled. “I’ll bet. That party was off the hook. My phone rang like, six times after I got home with people wanting to know if I could get HD for a party for them.” She rolled her eyes and smiled, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her why I really had trouble sleeping. I just gave her a hug and wandered into the kitchen to get some breakfast.

Already, the heavenly scent of scrambled eggs and maple-flavored sausage filled the room. My stomach protested angrily, eliciting a laugh from my mother, who immediately turned to hand me a plate. As if on cue, the second serving of toast popped up as she dropped the first onto my plate alongside my eggs.

“Allison, how do you like your eggs?” she asked as she glanced to my best friend. Allison smiled warmly.

“I wasn’t really hungry, but that smells reeeally good. Over easy if it’s not too much trouble. Sunny side up makes me queasy.”

“I’m the same way. It’s as though your breakfast is staring back at you,” I heard Mom respond as I took a seat at the kitchen table. As she approached to set a freshly poured glass of milk beside my plate, she rested her hand on my shoulder. “What’s wrong sweetheart?”

I smiled sleepily as I looked up at her, Allison answering for me. “She didn’t sleep well. Truthfully I didn’t either. I was like, so pumped after the party, getting to meet the band, plus people calling my house asking if I knew the band.”

Mom glanced at me for a moment as if trying to decide if she believed that that’s all it was. For now she left the subject alone, returning to preparing Allison’s eggs, even as Allison sat beside me, tearing into a piece of sausage.

“So what are you planning to wear to Nikki’s party? I thought about recycling my Fiona costume from last year, but I think I want to do something new and interesting.”

For the first time this morning, I actually managed to brighten a little. I knew exactly what I wanted to do for Nicole’s party, but I hadn’t told anyone yet, and now that I knew Nicole would understand, I didn’t feel guilty about it anymore to boot!

Allison giggled at my sudden grin. “I’m going to make my own costume. I learned a little bit about sewing at Girl Scout camp, and I’ve had a little time to practice here and there over the summer. You have to keep it a secret though.”

Allison nodded, anticipation practically tattooed on her face. “I know that look. You’re up to something big. So what is it?”

“I’m going as Aria Blade.”

Allison covered her mouth as she giggled. “Oh my God. That’s perfect!”

I didn’t hear Margie come into the kitchen, and while I’m not sure if Allison did or not, she at least didn’t jump when my sneaky older sibling unceremoniously plopped down at the head of the table beside me, steaming cup of coffee in-hand, “What’s perfect?” She giggled at my startled glance. “Sorry. Coffee?” she offered her cup as a peace offering.

Normally I didn’t drink coffee, but I could use a jolt, so I took a sip then slid it back to her. “Thanks. I needed that.”

“Sure. So?”

Allison grinned, “Robin’s going to make her own Aria Blade costume for Nikki’s party.”

Margie raised her mug, enjoying a slow, contemplative sip before she answered. “Sounds like fun. Hey, you said last night that Nikki’s taking her driving test this afternoon. Why don’t you come over to Touch of Style after school while she’s distracted with that? I mean, I’m no world-class dress designer like Mom, but if you don’t mind, I’d love to help.”

“Really?” I asked, not even trying to hide my excitement. “That would be awesome!”

Margie laughed. “Yes, really.” She paused for another moment, setting her cup aside. She stood, offering me her hand. “Robin, there’s something I want to show you. You too, Allison. I was going to wait a few months, but I think you deserve to know the truth.”

I gave her a puzzled stare, but took her hand, letting her pull me to my feet. I glanced back to be sure Allison was coming too, as Margie led me up the stairs. We stopped outside her bedroom for a moment.

“I’m honestly surprised you’ve never stumbled on this before. I had been using Linda’s bedroom — well, formerly my old spare room — as a studio before you came to stay, and had to do some quick rearranging when she moved in.”

“I’m not sure I understand,” I offered, to which she simply grinned, pushing open her door. Her bedroom seemed much as I remembered it before, with the faux-Victorian four post bed, dusty rose bed linens, and mauve plush carpeting. She stepped inside and motioned for us to follow her as she approached her walk-in closet.

She pushed the door open, and there, among the clothing racks and shelves, at the center of the room, a drafting table had been set up, with what appeared to be a prototype poster of Aria Blade and Raven Wing fighting zombies with their backs together as though protecting each other.

Allison and I both looked at each other and then at Margie. She giggled, nodding. “I’m the anonymous author. I’m sorry for lying to you before, but to tell the truth, I never expected you’d take such an interest in my little side-project or I would have told you from the start.”

“Oh my God…” I whispered, practically stunned silent. I slowly approached the drafting table and rested my hand on the sketch. Somehow I think I just expected it to disappear at my touch, that maybe I was still asleep. It remained as tangible and real though, and I turned back to Margie, who was still grinning at me.

“I told you that you worry about money too much. Between my clothing business and writing this comic as a side-venture…

“Of course, I had to get Bob and Gina’s permission to use Nikki’s likeness as Raven Wing, but I didn’t figure you’d mind if I borrowed yours. When you told me how you and Allison met, I couldn’t resist adding a new heroine with an unusual history to the fold.”

I couldn’t help myself. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I wrapped my arms around her. “Margie, this is so cool! I figured it might be a neighbor or something, someone that I didn’t really know that well. I never dreamed it might be you!”

She giggled as she hugged me back. Allison finally managed to find her voice at this point, kneeling to admire one of the storyboards propped against the back wall. “Margie, this is amazing.”

“Thanks. I’m actually working on another teen hero who’s going to be making her appearance in the next issue after the special Halloween edition I’m writing right now. I haven’t decided her powers yet though. I want her to be special because she’s modeled after Robin’s best friend.” She paused, waiting for those words to sink in.

Allison’s eyes grew wider. “You mean…”

Margie nodded. “Uh-huh. With your permission, of course.”

“Absolutely!” she practically squealed, hugging Margie. “Ohmygod. This is so cool.”

“Glad you both approve. Now that things are settling down I’ve been putting some of the proceeds away toward a secondary college fund for Robin. Her inheritance will only go so far though she has a lot more time to let the interest build than I had so that’s going to help a lot too. And speaking of school, I’d better get you girls there!” She abruptly announced.

“Oh, shoot, you’re right!” Allison replied as she glanced at her faux silver-chain watch, rushing back out of the room.

I had to stop off at my room to collect my things, joining her along with Margie downstairs a minute later. After some quick goodbyes and have-a-good-days with Mom, we were off to school.

I couldn’t help feeling better about everything, with Margie’s little surprise revealed. I still thought about what Mom had told me last night at the back of my mind, and continued to wonder if we could do anything to help her, but for now I needed to focus on getting through the coming day, which wouldn’t be easy, especially now that everyone probably knew Heedless Despair would be playing an encore at Nicole’s party in a couple of weeks.

Rather than just heading straight into the lobby, we joined up with Jennifer first then met up with Nicole, who was chatting with Laura and a familiar-looking boy with medium-length brown hair. Laura seemed all smiles again today as we approached, and to my surprise, the boy met us halfway to hug me.

“Hi Robin,” he offered warmly, grinning.

“Trent! I didn’t even recognize you.” We both giggled as the four of us walked back to Nicole and Laura. Nicole laughed as she wrapped me in a hug.

“Hey cutie. We were just talking about you.”

“Uh oh. Um, if it’s about the party, it was all Ally’s doing. Seriously.”

Nicole giggled. “Oh no, this was about last weekend.”

Laura nodded, “I just wanted to thank you again for supporting Trent. We’ve been best friends since we were kids, but…”

Trent grinned as he wrapped his arm around her waist, kissing her cheek before turning back to me. “I never had the courage to tell her how I felt because I didn’t want to screw with our friendship, or how she’d feel about the ‘other’ stuff, but knowing she was okay with it…”

Laura smirked, poking him in the ribs, “No more secrets. This doesn’t mean I won’t be a frost bitch to everyone else, but I’ll make an exception for you guys now.”

Nicole laughed, “Now where have I heard THAT before? Just wait, Laura. Next year we’ll be carting you off to girl scout camp.”

Laura rolled her eyes. “Yeah um, no offense, but I’ll leave that to you guys. I have to keep some rep intact.” she teased. “But I won’t give Nikki a hard time about it anymore.”

Nicole laughed, sticking her tongue out. “S’alright. I know it was all in fun. Anyway, are you guys ready for the longest school day of your lives?”

“Oh that reminds me,” Jennifer interrupted, “What’d Shadow mean by ‘look at the back’?”

“Oh right! Y’know that bass they gave me? They all signed it! I’m thinking about getting a display case for it, but it just doesn’t feel right not playing it.

I mean, it’s Shadowfang’s freaking bat-wing. To just shove it behind glass and never use it again would be kind of sacrilegious.”

“You could always do both,” Allison mused. “Keep it in a display case to protect it when you’re not using it.”

Nicole giggled as we ascended the stairs. “I love the way you think, Ally. Oh,” she glanced back at Trent and Laura, “You guys are coming to my Halloween party right?”

Laura nodded, but Trent shook his head. “I’m not going to be able to make it. But my ‘cousin’ Trina’s psyched.” He grinned.

I couldn’t help giggling. I had to wonder, as things moved forward, how he’d handle keeping up the whole dual-persona thing. For me, once I became Robin there was just no going back, but he seemed to enjoy both equally.

He certainly seemed more comfortable as Trent than I ever felt as Robert, and in a way, I think I envied that much about him, but I quickly quashed those thoughts with the realization that it didn’t really matter at this point. I was happy, and more importantly I loved myself.

Much as we expected, the ENTIRE school seemed to want to know more about our alleged connection to Heedless Despair. No one could believe they really did do all this just because we asked nicely, at least not with Nicole getting a new guitar out of the deal as a birthday present.

At lunch we found Maria and Chelsea at our usual table giggling over a copy of the local newspaper. I peeked over their shoulder to see a rather lovely photo of Nicole and Shadowfang, eye to eye “dueling”. I knelt closer and grinned. “Nice photo.” Maria jumped, squealing with surprise and glaring at me.

“Don’t DO that!” she laughed.

“Sorry.” I giggled as we sat down to join them.

“Last night was so amazing,” she continued dreamily. “I even met this cute boy, but he disappeared while I was in the bathroom.”

“I still don’t know what you see in that loser,” Chelsea shook her head. “He’s seriously bad news.”

“Please, please tell me you’re not talking about who I think you are?” I asked, glancing at Chelsea. She looked between Nicole and me, smiling wryly as she nodded.

“What?” Maria asked, confused.

“Jason?” I asked flatly. She nodded, and I exhaled slowly. “Listen, Maria… Things with Jason are complicated.” I paused, reaching out to squeeze Nicole’s hand before she could say something. “Until last night, I just thought he was a total ass. He’s the guy that you heard that rumor about me getting in a fight with.”

“Mother of God… THAT was the guy who attacked you? Robin I am so sorry. He seemed like such a nice boy. Well if I see him again I’ll tell him where he can stick it!”

“Wait, Maria, there’s more. My mom told me last night that… his mom’s really sick.” I had to pause to gather my thoughts. She frowned, leaning closer.

“What’s wrong with her?”

“She’s… dying. She has cancer, and the doctors gave her six months to a year — that was back in June.”

“Oh Jesus…”

“Yeah. So I’m like, really confused about everything right now. On the one hand, I want to hate the guy for being a pig-headed jerk, but on the other hand, it’s like, really hard to blame him for wanting to lash out at me. I DID attack him first, even if I was just defending myself when he grabbed me.”

Chelsea shook her head slowly. “If he grabbed you first, then technically you didn’t attack him first. But I understand what you’re getting at. That’s pretty heavy.”

Maria nodded. Nicole just sat there staring off into the distance as we talked.

“A day ago I would’ve told you to stay as far away from him as possible, but if you really think you can get through to him, don’t let me stop you. Just… promise me you’ll be careful okay?”

Maria smiled a little as she nodded. “I promise. I mean, I’ve got you and Chelsea to back me up if the grease hits the fire.”

I glanced back at where Nicole had been sitting a few seconds ago to find she was gone, though I caught side of Allison’s ponytail bouncing along as she ran through the lunchroom. I turned back to the others with a frown. “I’ll be right back.”

Without waiting for a response I stood and ran to catch up to Allison. She ultimately led me to the girls’ bathroom, where Nicole stood at the mirror, just sort of staring at herself. We slowly approached her, putting our arms around her from the side. She jumped, startled by our sudden presence, smiling sheepishly at our reflections.

“Sorry. I just… I didn’t realize she was that sick. I told you guys before she wasn’t exactly mother of the year material. The one time Jason actually opened up about her he said they were always fighting, but then he acted like it was no big deal, so I left it alone. But to think she might be…” she trailed off, turning around and hugging us both. “It just freaks me out a little.”

“I know. I almost lost my mom a few months ago. The thing is, I’m afraid to try and reason with Jason because we do have a bad history with each other. I don’t want to make things worse, but I still want to help.

“I was thinking maybe we could talk to our fellow scouts and organize a fundraiser or something… Just some kind of token gesture to get her to get help, you know? Show her that she can’t give up hope or… something.”

“That’s a good idea,” Allison offered. “We have a meeting coming up to discuss plans for the party anyway. That’d be a good time to bring this up as well. The scouts are all about helping people, and even though you and Jason, and Nikki and Jason for that matter, have a bad history together, that doesn’t mean you — and we — shouldn’t try to help.”

Nicole reluctantly nodded. “Yeah… Maybe Jason isn’t boyfriend material for me, but at least we’ve pretty much established why that is.” She smiled wryly even as we giggled, and I leaned over to give her a friendly kiss on her cheek.

“You okay now?”

She nodded. “Yeah. M’okay now. It just kinda shook me up ya know? Hey, what are you doing this afternoon?”

“I was going to see if I could come be your cheerleader for your driving test, but I had a change of plans this morning. Margie wants me to come to her shop after school so she can get my measurements. She’s going to help me work on my Halloween costume.”

Nicole brightened at that, as we walked out of the girls’ room together, heading back to the lunch room to gather our things. “Ooh! What are you going as?”

I glanced at Allison and giggled, “That’s a secret! But trust me, you’ll love it.”

“Aww, fine, but I won’t tell you my costume either.” She winked playfully as she squeezed my hand. She at least seemed to be feeling better. She looked over at Allison. “What about you Ally?”

“Well I thought about wearing my Fiona costume from last year, but I think I’m going to do something different. I’m not sure yet what ‘different’ is though, but I’ll figure something out. I still need to find the right dress for the scouts’ party too.”

“Oh gawd,” Nicole groaned. “I forgot about the Princess theme for that one. I can’t believe I let you guys talk me into that.”

After school, after wishing Nicole luck on her driving test, Allison and I walked out to the parking lot together.

During our history class our teacher had taken a break from the usual boring lesson plans to talk about the history of theater and how we were all blessed to have been graced by the “theatrical antics” of Heedless Despair, despite what our parents were sure to think of the band.

I admit I had fun learning about Victorian era theater, and the fond memories of the night before in our fifteen seconds of fame as Scarlet’s ‘minions’ was still fresh in our minds.

“I have like, zero musical talent, but being onstage was still a lot of fun,” I admitted as we approached Kelly’s car. The day had been typically brisk for the season, and a chill wind had been picking up, so Kelly waited inside the car this afternoon, presumably with the heater running.

Allison giggled as she pulled her heavy white coat a little more tightly around herself. “You should consider drama club. It’s probably too late for this semester, and with basketball and Kenpo you’re probably overloaded already, but there’s always Spring.”

As I pulled the back door open and slid inside, I had to laugh. That actually sounded kind of fun. “That’s not a bad idea Ally. I’ll have to see what my schedule’s like next semester.”

“What’s that?” Kelly asked, glancing back at me. Allison hopped in the front seat, pulling the door closed.

“Oh man, it feels good in here! Oh, I was just telling Robin she should consider drama club next year, since she enjoyed working with Heedless Despair.”

I nodded in agreement as I pulled off my gloves. “Yeah. I don’t have any musical ability to speak of, but being on stage with them was so amazing. Even the rehearsals were a lot of fun.”

Kelly nodded as we pulled out of the parking lot. “You’re braver than me anyway. Even after my transition, I couldn’t set foot on a stage without going totally blank, and that was just for tryouts.” She laughed. “Then again, I was trying out for the part of Juliet, and the idea of kissing a boy freaked me right out at the time.”

Allison giggled loudly. “That didn’t last long.”

Kelly stuck out her tongue, “Oh hush you!” she playfully elbowed her sister then looked up at the rear view mirror to smile at me. “So I’m supposed to drop you off at Margie’s store. Do you need me to swing back or are you going to get a ride home with her?”

“I can get a ride with her I think. She’s usually pretty casual about business hours unless the store’s on fire or something.”

“Alright then. So how does it feel knowing she’s the woman behind the proverbial mask?” She grinned.

“Amazing. At first I didn’t want to know because I thought the magic was all in the mystery, but the truth is the magic is in the suspension of disbelief, like Nikki told Heedless Despair last night. It’s not in not knowing, but in how much you’re willing to just close your eyes and take on faith for a little while. I’m really, really proud of her.”

“That makes sense. I felt kind of guilty for not being able to say anything, but this whole ‘anonymous author’ thing sort of grew out of the cult fan base. It wasn’t something she originally intended. The comic just kind of exploded in popularity on her.”

As we pulled into the parking lot in front of Margie’s store I gathered my things, and after leaning forward across the seat to hug both Kelly and Allison in-turn, I hopped out of the car, waving goodbye even as I entered the store.

A brunette sales-lady in her early 20s smiled cheerfully at me. “Welcome!”

“Hi there. Is my sister here?”

“Your sister… Oh! You must be Robin right? I’m sorry. I just started working here.” She smiled sheepishly, her cheeks turning a bit red as she stepped around from behind the counter to approach me.

I shook my head and smiled warmly back at her, “It’s okay, really. Yes, I’m Robin. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise! I’m Claire. Your sister told me you’d be coming by. She just stepped out for a few minutes, but she said she’d be right back. In the meantime I’m supposed to show you to the backroom. So,” she continued, as she led me through the store, “were you at that big concert last night?”

I giggled. “Yes. I was onstage at one point.”

“Really?! Were you with the band, or were you the lucky girl I heard got a new guitar?”

“Technically with the band, but just for the one night. But you’d think we were going to be permanent members the way the kids at school kept asking if we had any connections. The whole thing with setting Nikki up and all that was entirely the band’s planning. We just went along for the ride.”

She giggled. “I’m sorry I missed it. Normally I’m a classic rock gal, but it’s not every day a big-name band comes to a sleepy little suburb like Alpine Springs. Anyway, I’d better get back up front. Margie said to treat you like I would her though, so um… just don’t fire me?”

She winked playfully, motioning her hand toward a comfortable chair in Margie’s office, with a small TV nearby. “Really though, just make yourself comfortable, and let me know if you need anything!”

She turned to leave again, and I settled in to wait. I had never been a big television watcher anyway, but even if I was I still had homework that needed to be done.

I had been deep in a complicated algebra equation at Margie’s desk when the door opened. She approached, McDonalds bag in one hand and two cups in the other, one of which she sat in front of me.

“It’s a little chilly out there, but I figured you’d still appreciate a flurry.” She grinned, opening the bag next even as I gratefully accepted my sweet treat, and handed me a hamburger.

“You’re the best!”

“Claire didn’t give you any trouble did she? I don’t expect that she would, but I’m still training her.”

“Not at all. Actually she was really nice, and even helped me with a couple of math problems earlier.”

She smiled broadly at that, sitting down in the comfy chair across from her desk without a second thought. She had to be a fun boss to work for, to be so relaxed and down to earth. I raised my flurry in faux toast to her and grinned.

“So, after we eat I’ll go ahead and get your measurements. I don’t normally tailor clothing except for a very short list of clients, but I’m happy to make an exception for you and your friends anytime you ever need it. I just wish Mom was here. If I’m adept at this sort of thing, she’s a goddess by comparison.”

We laughed and giggled for awhile as we shared our humble fast food meal, and now that the secret was finally out, I could ask her how she got the inspiration to draw Raven Wing, and what her plans for the future were.

Of course, she stone-walled that line of questions with “It’s a surprise”, but I couldn’t really complain. My sister drew freaking Aria Blade and Raven Wing!

After taking down my measurements, she led me to another part of the store that, up until now, I had no idea even existed. Shelf upon shelf of both bolts and sample swaths of material awaited us, as well as a number of racks of clothing, from the mundane to the glamorous.

“Now,” she began, as she moved from shelf to shelf, “how ‘real’ do you want your costume to be?”

“Real?” I asked, glancing up from a cute, if somewhat overly-frilly for my tastes pink formal dress.

“Yeah, I mean do you want to look like you’re actually wearing armor?”

“Oh! I dunno. Aria’s costume seems pretty complex. Wouldn’t that be a lot of work?”

She grinned over a clothing rack at me, holding up a flimsy tape-measure. “C’mere. Actually a lot of her outfit is made of composites designed to replicate the suppleness of leather while providing a little more protection.

“Only her shoulderpads should present any real problem, but I’m planning on updating her look with the Halloween issue anyway, so that won’t really be a problem either. Though a few people will wonder how you knew to make your costume to look like her new one, rather than the classic style.”

I laughed, as I held my arms up for her to take my measurements. “That’s okay. As long as they don’t think I’m the genius behind the work.”

“Aaw… I wouldn’t say ‘genius’, but that’s still sweet.” She paused to smile, hugging me. I hugged her right back.

“It’s true though. The characters are deep and complex, and it’s like every time you think they’ll finally be together something new interferes.”

She nodded as she continued her measurement-taking, writing each down on a notepad as she did, “That’s what I was going for, yeah. It’s going to get even worse soon. I can’t tell you exactly what’s going to happen, except that I plan on putting them through hell before I wrap up the current storyline.

“After that I’m going to let fans decide whether to keep Raven a ‘villain’ or let her find redemption.”

“That’s so cool,” I offered, then giggled. “Hey, that tickles!”

“Sorry!” she laughed, setting her tape aside and taking me aside. “Hey, you took a leather tooling class at camp didn’t you?”

“Yeah. I learned to make some really neat things. It’s been awhile though.”

“Do you think you can do some pattern-work then? Here, let me show you what I have in mind.” She turned a page in her notepad, and I watched in awe as she quickly sketched off a chestpiece and battleskirt.

“The sewing I can handle easily enough with a little help from a few contacts of mine, but I don’t know anyone else who could work with the leather and create these kinds of inlaid designs to replicate Aria’s armor like this. Each of these will have leather dye applied to make them look like they’ve been inlaid with gold.”

“Oh wow. This is her new armor? It’s gorgeous! I mean, her old armor looked good, but this is amazing.”

She beamed. “Hey, if you’re interested, I could use a model for the posters to show off the new armor.”

“Really?! That would be awesome! I’d love to!”

“Great! I’ll go ahead and start making some calls tonight and see if I can get my hands on the tools we’ll need, then we can start work on your costume from there. Sound good?”

“That sounds great. Oh, hey, is it okay if I ride home with you?”

She nodded. “Absolutely. Go ahead and get your things, and I’ll let Claire know I’m taking you home.”

We parted ways back at her office, as she left to let her newest trainee know she’d be ‘on her own’ again, while I meanwhile gathered my things. This had been an interesting day from start to finish, but at least now I had affirmations that I wasn’t alone in wanting to do something to help Mrs. Beaumont. Now maybe I could get some sleep tonight.

Was Maria serious about Jason seeming like a nice boy, though? Everyone I’d ever talked to about the guy seemed to think he was an unrepentant jerk. Maybe true love does conquer all, or maybe he’s just using her. As I slid my arms into the sleeves of my heavy brown suede jacket, I resolved to let the issue rest for now, but I’d have to keep a close eye on the situation going forward.

Just one more thing to worry about. If he hurt her, I didn’t know what I’d do, but I knew it wouldn’t be pleasant, but for now, I stepped out of the office to meet up with Margie again, and head home.

~* Boy Trouble *~ We rounded the corner into the gym to find Maria talking to Jason quietly off to one side. He stared awkwardly at the two of us, despite Maria elbowing him twice to get his attention. I tried to offer a disarming smile, but kept walking anyway. I wasn’t ready to make the first move. Fortunately or unfortunately, I wouldn’t have to, as Maria called after me a moment later. “Robin, come here a second.” I paused in my steps and slowly turned to approach, keeping a good foot of distance between us. I heard Allison’s footsteps stop beside me, but I didn’t take my eyes off the pair. Maria frowned at me as she stepped closer. “Why is it you can forgive Brittany after some fake tears and an awkward hug, but you act like Jason has the plague?”

---

Our Girl Scout meetings never progressed the way I always imagined them, but then again, our troop wasn’t the largest nationwide by a long shot either.

As things stood we met at the high school auditorium after school once a month. With basketball practice, cheer, and other activities we older girls were involved with during the week, we agreed to schedule a different day of the week each month. For this month it happened to fall on a Thursday.

The day before, I had just learned that Margie had been writing the Aria Blade comics all along. Of course, I immediately called Jennifer and Nicole to tell them the big news, but they were the only ones. After all, the magic’s in the mystery!

I had basketball practice to look forward to immediately after the meeting, but fortunately Angela Greer, the cheer squad, gymnastics, and assistant Track and Field coach in Spring happened to have taken over as our den mother when Mrs. Lawrence stepped down for health reasons, so she’d promised to let Allison and me leave early if the meeting ran long.

Despite using the auditorium for the meeting, things still progressed rather informally as we discussed plans for the big Halloween party to honor our founder. It actually reminded me a lot of planning for the luau, with ideas being thrown around and discussed, price points brought up, and the like.

“Spirit’s got something she wants to discuss with the rest of us before she has to go to practice,” Jennifer chimed in at one point. The sea of girls from various grades silenced and all eyes settled on me. I shot Jennifer a teasing glare, causing her to stick her tongue out at me, which of course made me giggle as I stood.

“Right. Um, I’m not even sure if this is my place to ask this, but there’s someone that I want to help, and I’m not sure how to do it, so I’m bringing it to your attention as a troop.”

Angela approached and placed her hand on my shoulder supportively. “Whatever it is, I’m sure we can pull together to help.”

I took a deep, slow breath, turning to look out across the girls’ faces. “As some of you know, I had a little trouble at the start of school with a boy named Jason. I just learned a couple of days ago though, that his mom is very ill. My mom said that it’s like she’s just given up all hope. She won’t even try to fight it. Despite my problems with Jason, I still want to help her, but I don’t know what I can do alone.”

“How bad is it?” Julie, our seventh grade Homecoming royal stood up from her seat a few rows back to ask.

“Bad. It's some kind of cancer. The doctors say she has maybe eight more months at the most. Mom says there are cancer treatment places that have had a lot of success, but she doesn’t want to even try.”

“Wow… That sucks,” she offered softly, sitting again.

“When she doesn’t even want to try to fight it, I just don’t know what we can do to make her realize Jason needs her to fight. He’s kind of a jerk, but he doesn’t deserve to lose her — nobody does. So, does anyone have any ideas?”

An older, red-haired girl with sparkling green eyes and a light dusting of freckles raised her hand. I thought I knew all the older scouts, but her presence surprised me — wasn’t she a senior? “Why not do a cancer awareness fundraiser, like a walk-a-thon and invite her to be the guest of honor?”

Angela smiled warmly, “Tracey that’s a wonderful idea. Seeing an entire troop of girls willing to pledge their support for someone they’ve never met just because one member asked them to would probably do wonders to lift her spirit.”

Tracey smiled wryly as she nodded, returning to her algebra book. Meanwhile Allison pointed to her watch, nodding toward the door. Angela nodded. “Go ahead, you two. We’ll see what we can come up with for now, and we can meet again on Sunday afternoon to discuss this further.”

I turned to hug Coach Greer, getting a smile from her as she returned the gesture. Little Amanda leapt from her seat and ran over to hug me as well. I laughed as I knelt to hug her back. “Sorry we didn’t have more time to talk. I’ll see you Sunday though, okay?”

The little girl beamed as though Santa Claus had just promised her a pony as she nodded vigorously. “See you, Spirit!” She giggled, returning to her friends as Allison and I left the auditorium. Allison glanced back over her shoulder and giggled.

“What?” I half-laughed as I asked.

“You. You’re so great with kids.”

“Oh hush you,” I teased. As we left the main school building behind, I thought I saw Maria walking with someone, but they disappeared into the gym too quickly for me to get a good look at them. Allison seemed to notice too.

“Was that Jason?” she frowned.

“Could be. She was talking about him at lunch yesterday. Let’s go see what’s up.”

We rounded the corner into the gym to find Maria talking to Jason quietly off to one side. He stared awkwardly at the two of us, despite Maria elbowing him twice to get his attention. I tried to offer a disarming smile, but kept walking anyway. I wasn’t ready to make the first move. Fortunately or unfortunately, I wouldn’t have to, as Maria called after me a moment later.

“Robin, come here a second.”

I paused in my steps and slowly turned to approach, keeping a good foot of distance between us. I heard Allison’s footsteps stop beside me, but I didn’t take my eyes off the pair. Maria frowned at me as she stepped closer.

“Why is it you can forgive Brittany after some fake tears and an awkward hug, but you act like Jason has the plague?”

I started to speak, but Jason interrupted, “Maria, stop, this isn’t helping. Look, you’re a nice girl. You’re too nice. You’re only going to get hurt if you hang around me alright? Just... Just go.”

He turned to walk away, leaving us both stunned silent. Maria’s jaw hung open as she watched him walk away. She turned, glowering, back at me as though it were my fault then stormed off to the locker room. I sighed as I turned to Allison, shaking my head slowly.

“What the hell did I do?”

Allison wrapped me in a friendly hug. “I’ll go talk to her. Maybe I can calm her down before she incites a riot or something.”

I nodded, following her as far as the coaches’ offices where I stopped off to change. Coach Wilson, sitting at her desk, glanced up at me. “Everything okay? You look like you just lost your best friend.”

“I wish I knew, Coach. It’s this whole Jason mess.”

She stood from her desk and approached me, concern etched all over her face. “He didn’t jump you again did he?”

“No no, it’s nothing like that.” I sat down on the sofa and proceeded to explain to her everything that had happened, from the party, learning about Jason’s mom, the Girl Scout meeting, and what had just transpired in the hallway. She nodded as she listened, and when I concluded, she remained silent for a few seconds.

“It sounds like Jason’s in a pretty complex position. Maybe he wants to change, but he’s too proud to admit he was wrong. Maria’s a good kid, but she’s got a bit of a temper. I’d just let her cool off if I were you, and try not to take it personally.”

“Ally went after her to try and calm her down.”

“Uh oh. Maybe I’d better go in there and make sure they’re okay,” she chuckled dryly, patting my shoulder. “Go ahead and get changed, and I’ll see if anyone needs to cool their heels for a practice.”

Surprisingly, Maria, Chelsea, and Allison were already on the court practicing when I emerged. Maria and I didn’t say much to each other beyond what was required to function as a team for the practice.

Chelsea, for her part, joined Allison in staying right out of it, but Brittany just seemed to be looking for trouble. She constantly tried to check Maria, forcing her to foul, and even tripping her once, albeit accidentally.

By the end of practice Maria had had enough, and stormed off the court. I glared at Brittany, who smiled smugly. “Hey, if she can’t take the heat, she should get out of the kitchen.”

“Brit, that was not cool. Maria’s already having a bad day because of me and you’ve only made it worse.”

“And you think the other team won’t do the same?”

“Um, no. We’re all here to win, but it’s just a game.”

“Maybe to you,” she shot back, a certain bitterness in her tone as she sat on the bleachers, nursing a bottle of water. No one else seemed to want to set foot in the locker rooms while Maria was inside, so I resolved to go in after her.

I could hear the telltale sounds of water running full blast beyond the rows of lockers, a thick cloud of steam billowing out from beyond the blind corner as I stepped closer, calling.

“Maria?” She didn’t respond, so I continued. “Look, I’m sorry about what happened with Jason. Whatever you think I think of him, you should know that I talked to the Girl Scout troop today. We’re going to do a walk-a-thon for cancer research, and ask his mom to be our guest of honor.” I paused, shaking my head.

“Maria, I don’t hate the guy. I just don’t trust him. I can’t trust him until he proves he’s changed, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you to try and reach out to him. Anyway, just … just think about what I said.”

As I turned to leave, the water stopped, but I didn’t stay. Instead I stepped out, to an entire team of sweaty, tired teammates expectantly waiting for an answer. I nodded. “Go on in.”

I pushed my way past them as they filed in, and felt someone squeeze my hand. It wasn’t Allison’s though. This felt different, but I couldn’t see who it was, so I resolved to continue on to the coaches’ office to get my much-needed shower.

I enjoyed an exceptionally long shower that day, letting the stress and pressure melt away. I knew things were becoming too easy, but I never dreamed it would be Maria who caused me problems. She was one of those people like Allison, Jennifer, and Nicole, that I believed I’d never have a real argument with, least of all over a boy.

Nicole and Allison awaited me when I finally emerged from the coaches’ private shower. Nicole wrapped me in a much-needed hug, and I happily nuzzled into her shoulder as I hugged her back. “God I needed that.”

“Yeah, Ally told me what happened. I’m sorry Robin. Are you ready to go home?”

“Yeah. I’ve got my Orange Belt to think about tomorrow night on top of everything else. There are like twenty-four kata I have to know. I’m not ready yet.”

“Jeeze. Stressed much?” Allison offered. “Kenpo’s about self-defense and stuff. You shouldn’t take it so seriously.”

“I can’t help it. I’m an over-achiever.” I laughed quietly as we walked out of the gym toward Nicole’s waiting Mustang. I still couldn’t believe Mom agreed so easily to let Nicole drive me home from school, but with Margie working late, and her ahem ‘coffee date’ with Sensei Rogers tonight it almost seemed a necessity for the family as much as a luxury for Allison and me.

“I still can’t believe Margie is the author!” Nicole burst into a giggle as she opened the door to her car.

“I know!” I brightened, which in retrospect she probably intended, as she smiled at my sudden reaction, as I sat in the front passenger seat beside her. “This is so cool. Sometime next month she wants me to model for a new poster for Aria. Hey, you should talk to her about modeling for Raven Wing. I mean, she did base the original comic off you after all.”

“I’ll think about it,” she responded in an odd, almost enigmatic tone. Her grin as we pulled out of the parking lot left me wondering if she was up to something. I hadn’t told her I already started working on my Aria costume though. I wanted that to be a surprise for the Halloween party, since she wanted to keep her costume a secret as well.

“Thanks for the ride Nikki. Are you sure you can’t stay?” I leaned over to kiss her cheek after we came to a stop in my driveway. She nodded.

“I wish I could, but I’ve got to get a jump on my surprise costume, plus Shadowfang’s coming back into town for the evening to help get started on setup for the party.”

“Already?” Allison poked her head up between the seats. “Man, this party’s gonna be awesome! Let me know if you need anything!”

Nicole laughed, tilting her head to give Allison’s cheek a friendly peck. “You won’t be saying that when you’re helping me decorate every inch of the ball room and back garden. But thanks. There’s no way I could pull this off without you guys helping. I only have one rule though — no peeking during stage practice.”

“Stage practice?” I asked curiously as Allison and I stepped out of the car. Nicole grinned.

“Yes. You guys went all out for me for my birthday, so I’m planning a fun little surprise for you guys as well that’s worthy of my comic book’s namesake.” She giggled, waving. “See you guys tomorrow.”

Allison and I looked at each other as she pulled away. She shook her head slowly. “What do you suppose she meant by that?”

I laughed. “With Nikki? Who knows. C’mon ‘Rose’. Margie wants you to look through some sample sketches to pick out the new hero’s armor. She’s working late at Touch of Style, and Mom’s having coffee with Sensei Rogers again, so…”

“So go get her sketchbook, and I’ll tell Mom we’re having my other sister for dinner,” Allison grinned. I giggled and hugged her before racing into the house to get Margie’s sketchbook.

I hadn’t forgotten what happened with Maria earlier that day, and the whole encounter still stung, but I knew I couldn’t do anything more than I had without making things worse. I’d try to talk to her again at school, and maybe get them to lighten up on keeping Jason from coming near me.

I mean, the guy’s parents were apparently separated, his mom was sick, and his friends ditched him because of me. If Maria could just reach him, and get him to realize he doesn’t have to be some sort of macho ass…

School the next day progressed relatively normally. ‘Relatively’ because Friday was the day we were to conduct our oral presentations for AP English.

We were each given the assignment to select one piece of classic literature and memorize an excerpt to recite, or for a short piece, the entire work. Mrs. Ellis gave us permission to use props to enhance the reading as we saw fit, within reason, and I had something very special in mind.

“Are you ready yet?” Allison called from beyond the bathroom stall. I had just changed into the ‘Carmilla’ dress I wore to Nicole’s party. I pulled the stall door open, Allison giggling as she turned around. “That dress really does suit you. Does Mrs. Ellis know you’re doing this?”

“Well, kind of. I asked her permission yesterday and got us a hall pass ahead of time, but she doesn't know what it looks like or anything. God I’m so nervous though. What if I forget a line?”

“Robin, you read that poem all night last night, and on the way to school this morning, AND you’ve been reading it between classes. I think I have it memorized at this point!” She giggled, giving me a reassuring hug.

“Thanks. I still need to do my makeup. I want this to be perfect. What time is it?”

“Five minutes to class, but since you got a hall pass you’ve got plenty of time. Want me to stay and help?”

“Yeah, please. I don’t feel comfortable walking around school dressed like this alone.”

“No kidding,” she teased as I opened the black bag. I pulled a pair of borrowed opera gloves and the silver necklace Margie gave me to wear from the large black satchel which also held my one other ‘prop’ safely from view, slipping them on, and with Allison’s help transformed myself into the mystical gothic vampire Carmilla.

As we walked to class, Principal Rochelle held up his hand, approaching us. “Halloween isn’t for another week, ladies. What’s this about?”

I giggled as I produced my hall pass for him to inspect. “It’s for Mrs. Ellis’ AP English class sir. I’m presenting a reading of Edgar A. Poe’s ‘The Raven’, and she told us we could use props and stuff.”

He stared at the hall pass a moment then back at me, then laughed. “Carry on then. Just be sure to change again before your next class.”

“Oh, I will sir,” I responded confidently. I had no intention of staying like this all day.

When we arrived at the class, we could hear Mrs. Ellis already giving the introductions. We quietly stepped inside. As our teacher droned on, every eye fell on us, and more specifically, on me.

Mrs. Ellis taking notice of the sudden change in class attentiveness shifted her gaze toward me. She literally jumped back, causing a few stray giggles from the class.

“Um… My goodness. Can I help you?”

I giggled quietly, handing her my hall pass. She stared, wide-eyed. “Robin?!”

“Yes ma’am,” I offered as Allison quickly took her seat. “I’ll wait until everyone else has presented if you want.”

I turned to move toward my seat, but she called after me, “Well now, hang on a moment. We might not get to everyone today, and you obviously went to a lot of trouble. What do you all think? Should we let her go first?”

The classroom exploded into unanimous cheers of ‘Yeah!’ and ‘Totally!’, and even a stray ‘Please?’, so I reluctantly turned to return to the front of the room.

Mrs. Ellis motioned a hand, stepping aside. “The floor’s all yours, dear. What did you select for your reading?”

“Well, this dress is modeled after the female vampire, Carmilla, but I’ve chosen to read ‘The Raven’ for my recital.”

I closed my eyes for a moment, and began to recite the poem just as I had practiced. I tried to bring the weight of the author’s dark intent to each word, slow, methodical, rhythmic and dark at first.

At the first mention of the raven, I turned the satchel over in my hand and pulled it away dramatically to reveal the wooden carving of a raven I borrowed from Nicole’s dad’s study - with his permission of course. A few stray gasps escaped my audience, and I cast a brief, sly grin, turning my attention back to it.

At the appropriate points in the poem, I raised my voice like a madwoman cursing the foul creature.

“Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!”

I turned dramatically to the audience and spoke in a grim tone, “Quoth the raven, ‘Nevermore.’”

I raised the statuette high as I concluded the final lines, of how that raven still perches on the pallid bust of Pallas, and concluded by collapsing dramatically, and covering the raven with the satchel. The entire room exploded into applause. I could feel my cheeks burning as I stood and bowed, moving to take my seat.

Even Mrs. Ellis clapped as she stepped behind her podium again. Her shock waned as she waved a hand toward me, “Well, that was incredible, Robin, and so believable! A+! Oh, and don’t worry; I don’t believe in grading on a curve.” She grinned, causing about half the class to laugh and the other half to sigh with relief.

Becky Larsen, Bobby’s girlfriend, leaned over and whispered, “You should be in drama club. That was amazing!”

I giggled, “Thanks. I wish I had time, but with everything else going on there’s just no way I could squeeze it in. I’m thinking about trying out next semester if I can make room and still take gymnastics though. I guess you could say this was a test to see if I could really do it.”

“I’ll say you can!” Bobby leaned forward and whispered from behind us. I grinned as I settled in to watch the rest of the oral deliveries. Bobby and Becky’s joint work was definitely my favorite. They didn’t show up in full costume or anything like I had, but they obviously worked hard to memorize the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet.

Since I had Phys. Ed. next anyway, I opted to just walk to the gym dressed as Carmilla and enjoy the strange stares a little bit longer. It was funny in a way. For the longest time I hated attention, positive or negative, as Robert. Even the thought of being in the Homecoming ceremonies a mere week prior to the event terrified me to my core, but now I found I kind of enjoyed it. Plus it got Maria to talk to me again.

“Oh my God. What possessed you to wear that to school?” She giggled as she joined us halfway to the gym.

Nicole laughed, “Hey, don’t knock it. I think she looks hot!”

“I had to recite part of a classic literary work for AP English, so I chose ‘The Raven’, and dressed appropriately for it. Don’t worry; I have my normal clothes in my backpack. It’s just I figured it’d be easier to change at the gym since I’d be headed there anyway.”

“Suuure. Hey, listen, about yesterday… I’m sorry I went off on you like that. Did you mean what you said though, about wanting to try and get Jason’s mom to accept some help?”

“Yeah. We’re meeting again this Sunday to discuss plans for the walk-a-thon. You’re welcome to come join us if you want. We’ll be meeting at the auditorium Sunday afternoon.”

“That sounds great. I’d love to help. Jason’s a really sweet guy when he wants to be. It’s just… I dunno.” She sighed as we pushed through the doors to the gym. Sounds of basketballs being bounced, conversations on bleachers, all grew silent as I stepped inside. Maria giggled. “Damn chica, you really know how to make an entrance. I gotta get to class. Can we talk again soon?”

“Sure. Here, let me give you my cell number. Um…” I glanced between Maria and Allison and Nicole. Nicole pulled out a black pen, offering it to me with a gum wrapper, and I scribbled my phone number down, handing it to Maria. “Glad you’re not still mad at me!” I called back to her as I rushed off to the coaches’ offices to change. Of course, both Coach Wilson and Coach Greer HAD to be there. Coach Greer noticed me first, reaching a hand over as she stared blankly to nudge Coach Wilson. Coach Wilson slowly raised her head and gave a startled jump next.

I giggled as I watched the almost cartoonish display, giving a small wave. “Just give me a minute to change and wash this makeup off. It was part of a semi-impromptu English project. Good news is I got an A+!” They continued to watch as I disappeared into the bathroom, and I could hear their muffled conversation beyond the door as I changed.

“Was… that Robin?”

“I think so. It sounded like her.”

“Well she did say it was for a class project….” I tuned out the rest of the conversation as I washed away the heavy makeup, unfrazzled my hair, and returned to being ‘just’ Robin again. For now I hung the dress in the coaches’ bathroom. Margie’d come by to pick it up at lunch so I wouldn’t have to carry it with me, and as a bonus she promised McFlurry goodness!

After school, I walked with Jennifer, Nicole, and Allison out to the parking lot. We passed Jason talking with Maria again, but this time we didn’t stop. I’d already done enough damage for one week. Jennifer, sensing the tension, elbowed me playfully.

“Robin, I still can’t believe you pulled that off today. That was so good!”

Nicole pouted, “I wish I could’ve seen it! That’s like the one class we don’t have together. Next semester I’m taking AP English with you guys!”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Allison grinned that impish ‘I’m up to something’ grin and flipped out her pink cell phone. After pressing a few buttons she handed it off to Nicole, and I could hear the recital being replayed. She recorded it on her cell phone!

Nicole stopped to watch the entire thing, giggling quite a bit. “Oh my Gawd, this is so cool.” She turned and hugged me, kissing my cheek. “Robin, don’t take this the wrong way, but you make a hot goth chick. I mean, I know I said that this morning, but seeing you ‘in action’, this is just so cool!”

“Thanks,” I laughed, “But there’s no way I could keep it up full-time. You said it yourself; I’m a girly-girl.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. And I’d love you even if you were one of those flannel and hiking boots back to nature girls. Oh hey, you’ve got Kenpo tonight don’t you?”

“Wanna come watch me make a fool of myself in front of the whole dojo? I only have fifteen of the twenty-four kata mastered. I don’t know why Sensei thinks I’m ready for my next belt already.”

“Maybe he just wants to see you try your best?” she offered, snuggling into my shoulder as we continued walking out to the parking lot. She held up her alarm keychain, shutting off the alarm and popping the trunk for us to toss our things in the back. As girlfriend of the designated driver, I seemed to enjoy a place of honor in the front seat. I hadn’t heard Jennifer or Allison shout ‘Shotgun!’ since Tuesday anyway. It was kind of sweet. I’d have to remember it the next time Josh gave us a ride somewhere.

“I hope so. Maybe he’ll let me work on my kata before the actual test. It’s too bad Kenpo’s not like reading.” I giggled. “THAT I’m good at.”

That night Mom made her special peppery fettuccini chicken alfredo, and as the seven of us (My friends and me plus Mom, Margie and Kelly) sat around the table giggling about my earlier performance, Mom raised her glass of tea and smiled softly. “I’m proud of you sweetheart. You’ve just come so far since June, and now it seems you might just have a budding acting career ahead of you!”

Kelly, sitting beside me, reached over to wrap me in a hug. “Yeah, I have to admit I’m really amazed how far you’ve come too.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you guys. All of you have helped me so much, but Ally, you’ve probably been my biggest supporter through all this. I mean, even before you knew me as Robin you’d already resolved to spend your summer with me. … I guess you could say you’re the reason I try so hard to pay forward when I can. Helping Nikki get over Jason dumping her, helping Natalie come to grips with losing Crystal…”

Margie glanced up from her meal. “Hey, speaking of Jason, did you girls ever decide what to do about Mrs. Beaumont?”

Nicole cheerfully nodded, “Tracy, one of the senior scouts, suggested a walk-a-thon, inviting Mrs. Beaumont to be the guest of honor.”

Jennifer added, “Yeah, we’re going to meet again Sunday afternoon to discuss the finer details, and we’ll have to do it soon if we want to help her, but it looks like pretty much everybody’s interested in helping. After Robin and Allison had to leave for basketball practice we talked about it a little more. The girls also pretty much unanimously agreed to call you ‘Spirit’ indefinitely,” she giggled at my blush.

“Oh, shoot, what time is it?”

“Quarter to six,” Kelly offered. “You’re not going to turn into a pumpkin are you?”

Nicole and Allison snickered in unison, Nicole echoing, “Pumpkin.”

“Close. My orange belt testing is in fifteen minutes!” I leapt from the table, darting upstairs to change into my karate gi. I tied my yellow belt in place, grabbing a simple black scrunchie from the dresser as I raced back downstairs. By now the girls were waiting for me in the foyer. Nicole grinned.

“C’mon, Pumpkin. I’ll drive.”

Jennifer’s boyfriend Josh waved as we entered the dojo, chuckling. “Good timing. Sensei was just about to start testing. Are you ready?”

“Not really. I know all my kata, but I only have some of them mastered.”

“You’ve mastered some of them? Show me.” He grinned, motioning toward an unused training mat.”

“Robin and Josh are sparring!” I heard someone whisper a little louder than they probably intended. I caught sight of two students running off together as I removed my shoes, setting them aside at the door and following Josh onto the mat. After a respectful bow, he lunged at me. I stepped forward with my left foot to enact the Dance of Death kata. Josh evaded the follow-up strike, but I could tell I caught him by surprise.

“Nice. Let’s try something a little more advanced.”

For several more seconds the back-and-forth continued. I couldn’t lay a finger, or a foot, on Josh, but I somehow managed to only get knocked on my backside twice during the entire exchange. The third time though nearly knocked the wind out of me. I grunted as I fell to the ground, Josh rushing to offer me his hand. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry!”

I laughed, waving my free hand as I grabbed his with my other hand, pulling myself up. “No, that was totally my fault. I thought you were going for a sword attack instead of a roundhouse.” I even gave the poor guy a hug so he wouldn’t feel bad about it. When I stepped back again, I backed right into someone, and spun around to apologize. “Oh, excuse m-” Sensei Rogers grinned proudly down at me.

“Well done, Robin. You’ve passed the test.”

“But... I didn’t complete all the required kata.”

“It’s true you haven’t mastered the techniques set forth, but not only did you last quite awhile against a formidable, experienced opponent, but you admitted your mistake when you failed, and you did so with humility.” He turned to the students that had gathered to watch us spar. “Martial Arts are not about fighting, but about self-discipline. This is a way of life, and it’s important, especially when training in these early belts, that you keep your perspective. Always remember, there will always be someone better, faster, or stronger than you, but even in defeat you can take away a valuable lesson.”

He turned back to me, motioning for me to follow. “I asked Josh to administer your test because I knew you wouldn’t be as nervous if you thought it was just a simple sparring match. What you showed me though was surprising. I knew you were a good kid, Robin, but I didn’t realize you understood the importance of humility already.”

“It’s a pill I’m still trying to swallow, Sensei, but thank you.”

“How so?”

“I’m still having problems with Jason, but they’re not the kind that knowing how to defend myself can solve.”

He chuckled. “There are many ways to defend yourself. Sometimes they involve knowing how to get away from a bully, and other times they’re knowing how to keep your temper in check, or knowing what to say to verbally disarm someone. The greatest victories in life aren’t defeating your opponent, but turning an enemy into a friend.”

“… You think I should try and talk to Jason too, don’t you?”

He simply smiled, and turned to step into his private office, meanwhile Nicole ran up and wrapped her arms around me.

“That was so cool! I mean, sure Josh totally kicked your butt, but you were all kung-fu on him this time too.” She giggled as she offered me a fresh water bottle. I accepted it with a smile, tilting it back for a quick drink, and returning it as Sensei Rogers returned, holding an orange belt in his hands. He stopped in front of me and, holding out both hands, spoke reverently.

“Repeat after me: I understand that I am but a beginner in a new and fascinating art which will direct me to greater obligations and responsibilities. To honor my obligations and responsibilities, I pledge to myself to serve my instructor, fellow students, and fellow man.”

I recited the oath word-for-word, after which he opened his palms to allow me to accept the new belt. I bowed reverently then hugged him. “Thank you Sensei. I’ll work twice as hard to show you that I have taken your lessons to heart.”

He smiled warmly. “I know you will, Robin. Now, everyone line up!”

Later that evening, as I lay in bed clutching Mr. Kensington close, I found myself again reflecting on the past week’s events. So much had happened so fast with Nicole’s birthday party and her getting her car, the drama with Maria, and now Sensei honored me with a new belt. Granted I didn’t feel I had truly earned the rank of Orange Belt yet, but I resolved to work twice as hard to master the kata in addition to the new self-defense lesson I had picked up that day.

At least I wouldn’t have to test for the next rank for some time, giving me plenty of time to practice. I wished we had a basement though so I could set up my own makeshift studio for practicing. Maybe I could get some extra practice in the next time I went in to help work on the dojo, though. Maria still hadn’t called, but she had my number, and hopefully she’d be in touch over the weekend. At worst she’d probably be at the Girl Scout meeting that Sunday to discuss the walk-a-thon though.

For the moment, I yawned, rolling over and turning off the light. With the meeting, a therapy session with Dr. Ketz, and work on my Aria Blade costume at the absolute least, I needed all the rest I could get for the coming weekend.

I shut my eyes tight and smiled as, in the back of my mind, I heard my two favorite words. ‘G’night cutie’. “Sweet dreams, vampire,” I whispered to no one in particular, as darkness followed.

~* Reap What You Sow *~ I could tell she was hiding something. She had a tell, whenever she was nervous or uneasy about something. It wasn’t something as obvious as scratching her nose or not looking me in the eye. It was a subtle thing; a thing one picks up on after years of living with someone. I looked her in the eye, trying to offer a reassuring smile. “Mom… What is it?” She exhaled as she turned to stare out the dining room window, framed neatly in lace-trimmed dusty rose curtains. “I never could keep anything from you could I? It’s a wonder you kept yourself hidden from me for so long.” She chuckled, raising her mug for a quick shot of coffee-flavored courage before continuing. “Ash wants to meet again tonight.” “That’s great though, isn’t it?”

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Author's Note:
To make up for the delay in getting the last couple of chapters of Robin posted, I have another ready for posting. :-D

No party yet, sorry! *hides from rotten fruit*

~Zoe, Q of S

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I could see only darkness and shadows, tricks of the twilight outside my open curtains when I woke. I fumbled sleepily for my alarm to see the time. “4:30”, it prominently declared in obnoxious, LED red. I groaned as I flipped the switch to preempt the buzzer three hours from now.

“I may as well get up,” I mumbled. Searing pain suddenly shot through my foot. I had rolled out of bed too fast, stubbing my toe squarely against my nightstand. I could already tell it would be one of those days. I stumbled past Mom’s bedroom to the bathroom to get in a ‘quick shower’, and emerged an hour later.

Someone had left the hall light on, so I switched it off as I passed through. I stopped off at my room long enough to grab my robe, and, draping it over my shoulders I padded barefoot downstairs. At least by this point I’d forgotten about my poor, sore toe. The telltale glow from the kitchen confirmed that Mom or Margie were up, and hadn’t just gotten up to check on me earlier. Mom sat at the kitchen table nursing a cup of coffee.

I had to giggle a little at her frazzled bed head, having already tamed mine with shampoo and conditioner. I moved across the kitchen into the dining area and wrapped her in a hug. She smiled up at me, reaching up to return the gesture.

“Morning sweetheart. You’re up early.”

“Yeah, I couldn’t sleep again.”

She frowned slightly, motioning for me to sit. “The nightmares again?”

“They’re not as bad now, but… yeah. I’m going to talk to Doctor Ketz about them.”

“About that… How would you feel about Nikki driving you to New Haven for your appointment?”

I brightened considerably. “Seriously? I’d love it, but… I thought you didn’t want us driving out of town yet?”

“I’m still not comfortable with the idea, but sooner or later I have to let you grow up.” She reached across the table to squeeze my hand. “Besides, she wanted to take you there on a date tonight anyway. I thought since you’d already be there, that you might as well have fun.”

I could tell she was hiding something. She had a tell, whenever she was nervous or uneasy about something. It wasn’t something as obvious as scratching her nose or not looking me in the eye. It was a subtle thing; a thing one picks up on after years of living with someone. I looked her in the eye, trying to offer a reassuring smile.

“Mom… What is it?”

She exhaled as she turned to stare out the dining room window, framed neatly in lace-trimmed dusty rose curtains. “I never could keep anything from you could I? It’s a wonder you kept yourself hidden from me for so long.” She chuckled, raising her mug for a quick shot of coffee-flavored courage before continuing. “Ash wants to meet again tonight.”

“That’s great though, isn’t it?”

She shifted in her seat, turning back to me. I knew that look. I had that exact same look on my face when I met Gina the first time. “This time is different. We’re not just going out for coffee. He invited me to come over for dinner. I promised him I’d have an answer before today.”

“You mean you haven’t said yes yet?”

“It’s complicated,” she responded.

“Mom, when is our life ever not complicated?” I teased. She smiled a little, tousling my wet hair lightly.

“I just don’t know if I’m ready for dating again. I’m only thirty-five, but there are times I feel like an old lady.”

“You just had a major accident a few months ago, and you’re still recovering from it; of course you’re not going to feel a hundred percent yet. Add to it that you’ve been sick for awhile too, but you’ve been getting better all the time. You talked about Mrs. Beaumont giving up hope, and now my scout troop is organizing a walk-a-thon to support cancer research to try and give her some hope. Just imagine what we’re willing to do for you?”

She laughed, but shook her head. “There’s more than just that, sweetheart. I have to think about what’s in your best interest too.” I stared, puzzled, for several seconds back at her. How could I possibly play into all this? Sensing my obvious confusion, she stared down at her coffee again, continuing. “Robin, you’ve always been Robin. You’ve always wanted to be Robin. But if things ever became serious with Ash, would I be betraying him by not telling him, or would I be betraying you by telling him?”

I could see a glistening trail of tears down her cheeks as I stood to wrap her in a hug. She stood as well and put her arms around me, and for a full minute neither of us said anything. I knew only too well what she felt inside. I’d felt the same turmoil so many times, and until now I thought that I had finally come to terms with it, but it never occurred to me that ‘extending’ our family would require extending our trust as well.

“I don’t want to tell him because you’re the most important thing in my life, but I don’t want to lie to him either. Maybe it’s best if I just break it off before it goes any further.”

“Mom, no! You can’t; I haven’t seen you as happy as you’ve been these last few weeks in years.”

“And that of course has nothing whatsoever to do with my beautiful, intelligent daughter finally coming out of her shell,” she teased, kissing my forehead.

“I’m sure it does, but I know if you break this off without at least trying, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”

“What makes you say that, sweetheart?”

“Because I know if I hadn’t gone with Ally that first day, I’d have regretted it the rest of mine.” I grinned. Check and mate, Mom.

A contemplative expression crossed her features. Finally she looked back at me. “You realize that if things go badly, you may have to quit Kenpo? That is a worst-case scenario though.”

I shrugged a little. “I can always find another sensei. If Sensei Rogers doesn’t want me for a student just because my mind and body don’t match up, then I’d rather not have him teaching me anymore. But I don’t think it’s going to come to that; he’s a good man, and I respect him a lot. I just want you to be happy.”

She sighed, but nodded. “Alright… Alright, I’ll call him later today and tell him I’ll come over for dinner. I want you and Nikki to have fun tonight.”

“Hey, about that … What happened to Margie driving me?”

She smiled wryly at that. “Like I said, you’d already be up there, and if things don’t work out with Ash, I want to know that you’re out of town until things calmed down. I think Margie and Kelly are going clubbing again so they’ll be in New Haven as well, but don’t worry, they won’t be spying on you.” She grinned, squeezing me close. “We trust you, sweetheart.”

“You can trust Nikki too, Mom. She’s had a hard life, and honestly, neither of us are ready for anything serious yet. We’re happy with where things are.”

Margie confirmed my suspicions that she had actually been waiting outside the kitchen for her cue to enter because it was immediately after I said that that she came padding in, making a bee-line for the coffee pot. “Morning,” she yawned, pouring a fresh cup of black nectar for herself.

“Morning sis,” I smiled cheerily as I stepped over to the fridge to get breakfast started.

I had to skip working on the Dojo following Homecoming because I was just utterly exhausted. I even slept in much later than usual that day, causing us to be late for our date with Heedless Despair to plan Nicole’s concert/party, and knowing I’d miss work yet again the next Saturday due to Halloween, I decided to come in and work an extra couple of hours more, especially having just received my orange belt, I needed the extra practice time with Sensei’s kicking bag.

Dressed in simple jeans and a baggy sweater, I stepped into the quiet dojo, kicking off my shoes at the door. I padded across the empty main room into the training hall. No one else seemed to be around yet, though the door was unlocked so someone had to be here. I resolved to wait, throwing a few kicks and practicing my stances. I had really gotten lost in it, with several minutes passing before I heard none other than Sensei Rogers himself behind me.

“Good, Robin,” he began. I screamed, spinning to face him. He laughed as he held up his hands defensively. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s okay. I’m just a little jumpy I guess.”

“At least all you do is scream,” he teased, “I have a friend whose gut reaction to being startled is to throw someone over her shoulder. Are you feeling better today?”

I had to laugh at his comment about his friend, shaking my head. “I’m okay. Still having problems with nightmares all these months later, but … they’re getting better.”

“Nightmares… Ah, you mean about the attacker?”

“Yeah. They’re different somehow though. I don’t see the raggedy man chasing me anymore. I see something… worse, more terrifying and monstrous.”

“My old master, the man who taught me Southern Mantis Wushu before I branched out into studying and teaching Kenpo, believed recurring nightmares are a sign of a powerful and imaginative, but tortured mind. You still hold some feelings of what happened inside, don’t you?”

I didn’t answer at first, simply slowly nodding, but after a moment, I stepped away from the training mat, sitting on a nearby folding chair. He followed, turning another chair toward me and sitting. “It’s like I can’t break free of the fear, of what might have happened if…” I stopped myself, biting my lip.

“If what?” he asked gently, but I shook my head. “I can’t say. It’s something you’ll have to talk to Mom about tonight.”

He didn’t even seem to register that I’d just given him Mom’s answer. Instead he reached out to take my hand, squeezing it lightly. “Robin, you are one of my favorite students, and not just because your mother and I have been getting to know one another better. You are poised and confident when you have to be, but humble enough to admit when you feel you’ve made a mistake. I wish all my students were like you.”

“Believe me, you don’t,” I chuckled wryly. “Sensei, I wasn’t always so confident. I feel like I’ve been through hell to get to where I am, and it’s still a roller coaster ride. There’s something you need to know about me.” I paused, glancing around to be absolutely certain we were alone. “Mom was afraid to accept your dinner invitation because she didn’t know how you’d react. She wanted to protect me, and she was even willing to sacrifice the chance that there might be more between you two.

“The truth is, our family has one secret. It’s only a danger to me. We have to be careful about who we trust because in the wrong hands, it could destroy me. There are people who would kill me just because of who I am, and what I represent.”

Sensei nodded slowly as he listened. During the long pause, he spoke more softly, “When my fiancé told me she wanted to leave me to join a convent, I thought I’d seen and heard it all. I was devastated for months after that, but eventually, I came to grips with losing her as a lover, and learned to love her as a friend.

“She had sacrificed everything we worked to achieve to follow her heart. I have my martial arts study, and she has her faith, and while neither of us can understand the other, we still respect each other, and we’re still good friends today. Whatever this secret is, Robin, I want you to tell me only if you feel it’s necessary, but I honestly can’t think of anything that could change how I feel about Linda or you.”

“I’ll let her tell you tonight then. It’s important to her not to keep secrets from you, but she’s afraid she’ll be betraying my trust by telling you. I want her to tell you, though. In the meantime I’ll try and work on letting go of what terrifies me most.”

I spent practically the entire morning helping Sensei move equipment and training mats into storage so the maintenance people he hired could re-varnish the floors and give the walls a fresh coat of paint. Margie dropped me off at home so I could get ready for my day-trip with Nicole in New Haven. I thought about getting dressed up, as this would be our first date outside Alpine Springs without parental supervision, but there was no way I wanted to spend all day plus the evening dressed like I was going to a club.

I had just thrown on a white knit sweater over a dark hunter green turtleneck long-sleeved top and pulled my hair back when I heard Nicole calling from downstairs. I glanced back over my shoulder, yelling in response, “Up here! I just need to fix my makeup!”

Seeing my Aria Blade costume high heeled boots lying next to the bed, I leapt from my vanity, scooping them up and shoving them quickly into the closet as I heard Nicole’s own boots on the stairs outside my room. I plopped back down again seconds before she appeared in the doorway, and pretended to have been applying foundation rather than the frantic scene that had actually preceded her arrival.

She had dressed as casually today as me. I actually hadn’t seen her in a t-shirt for some time now, though on closer inspection I could see why, as the four faces of Heedless Despair glowered prominently in all their silkscreen glory. I couldn’t help grinning as I touched up my pink rose lip gloss. “Niiice shirt.”

She giggled. “Thanks. They’re an advance prototype of the new merch, but Shadow gave me one to wear for publicity since they go on sale tomorrow.”

“You two have really bonded haven’t you?”

“Not really. We’re just a lot alike; just that she’s Margie and Kelly’s age,” she chuckled, burying her hands in her black jean pockets as she sat on my bed. She lay back a moment later with her hands behind her head. “I can’t believe Linda’s letting me drive you to New Haven.”

“Nervous yet?”

“What about?” she shot back, glancing at me.

“Well, I thought I’d introduce you to Dr. Ketz. I mean, Ally and I have both been seeing her since the summer, so she knows all about you.”

“Oh gawd. I didn’t even think of that.”

I stood and offered my hand, pulling her up and right into a warm hug. “It’s okay. You can wait in the lobby if you want. I have a lot of really dark stuff I need to talk to Barbara about anyway.”

She frowned at me as she looped her arm in mine, leading me downstairs. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes and no. Mom’s going to tell Sensei Rogers the family secret tonight, but more importantly he’s talked me into trying to come to grips with what’s causing my nightmares.”

Nicole paused at the door, retrieving the lightweight leather jacket she left hanging on the doorknob to the hall closet. As she pulled it around her, I reached into the closet to retrieve my brown suede jacket, following her out.

“So that’s why she wanted me to take you instead of Margie?”

“Yeah. Well, that and Margie’d be in New Haven with Kelly again tonight anyway. She figures that since you and I wanted to go on our weekly date there, and I have my appointments to deal with, that it’d be best for everyone if you took me, and we could just go do whatever after in case of fallout.”

Nicole laughed as she slid across the driver’s seat, sliding the key into the ignition. “Now I see where you get it from.”

“Get what?” I asked as I sat down, situating my white faux leather handbag and pulling my seatbelt across.

“You’re always thinking ahead, and always thinking of others first, just like your mom.”

The meeting with Dr. Ketz went surprisingly well. I hadn’t actually talked about my nightmares for awhile, so confronting them in the waking world was more difficult than I realized, but I managed not to cry at least. Dr. Ketz validated a number of my fears, but at the same time she reminded me of precisely why I’m taking self-defense courses.

She also reminded me that, since my goal had been all along to pass, that I should continue as I have been in not telling anyone who had no business knowing. I was, for all intents and purposes, an average teenage girl. I really wished Nicole could have come with me for moral support, but deep down I knew that confronting my demons would probably make her confront a few of hers that she still wasn’t ready to face.

As I emerged though, she greeted me with a welcoming hug, and I kissed her cheek. I stepped to the side a bit and smiled, motioning to Dr. Ketz. “Nikki this is Barbara Ketzowski. Dr. Ketz, this is my steady girlfriend, Nicole.”

“Please, call me Nikki. I feel like I already know you between Robin and Ally always talking about you.” She smiled nervously as the two shook hands.

“It’s nice to finally put a face to the name, Nikki. If you ever need to talk, my door is always open.”

“Err, thanks, but I’m not the therapy type,” she responded with a touch more unease.

Dr. Ketz smiled as she nodded, “It’s quite alright dear. Personally I believe everyone needs someone they can vent to with the professional training to help bring things into perspective, but you have to feel absolutely comfortable with that person, otherwise you’re just wasting your time.” I noticed she didn’t say ‘and theirs’, and smiled. Nicole seemed to notice too, as she slowly nodded.

“Anyway, I’ve gotta get Robin to her next appointment. Nice meeting you Dr. Ketz.”

I squeezed her hand as we approached the elevator. “Sorry. I know how you feel about therapists, but I wanted you to at least meet Dr. Ketz.”

“Hey, as long as you don’t expect me to actually see her,” she responded a little defensively as we stepped onto the elevator, continuing as the doors closed. “Don’t get me wrong. I know she’s done so much to help both you and Ally, but I …”

I turned and leaned into her, planting a kiss squarely on her lips before she could finish her thought. “Nikki, it’s okay. You don’t have to defend yourself to me or anyone. I’m not trying to push you into anything. I really did just want you to meet her.”

She smiled apologetically at that, hugging me close. “I’m sorry Robin. It’s just there’s a lot of things I’m not ready for yet. You’re like, the only person that gets that, and I shouldn’t doubt you of all people. It’s just … reflex, y’know?”

The doors opened, and we stepped out, passing through the lobby into the late-afternoon sun. A crisp wind caused me to pull my jacket a little closer despite having dressed in layers. Nicole laughed. “You are such a Cali girl. You’re going to die of hypothermia the first time it snows.”

I giggled, snuggling up next to her. “I guess you’ll just have to keep me warm. So where are we going after I get my bi-monthly stabbing session over with?”

“Oh, I thought we’d-” she trailed off as my phone started ringing. I frowned, pulling it out and checking the caller ID. “It’s not Mom. I don’t recognize the number.”

“So, answer it!” she laughed.

“Hello?”

Andrea’s voice responded nervously, “Um… Robin?”

“Andrea!” I responded cheerfully as I pulled the car door closed behind me.

“Hey, um… what’s up?”

“Just leaving my therapist’s. I need to get some blood work done then I’m going out to dinner with Nikki.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll um... call back later.”

“No, it’s okay. I have a few minutes. What’s going on? I didn’t think you were ever going to call me.”

She sounded even more uncertain as she replied. “Robin, what are you talking about? I tried to call you a bunch of times a couple of months ago, but you always hung up on me as soon as I said ‘Hello’.”

“Wait a minute. A couple of months ago? Did you try calling me about the same time every day, around… four-ish your time?”

“Yeah… Why?” I had to laugh. I couldn’t help it. It was just such a weird coincidence. “Stop laughing!” She yelled.

“I’m sorry,” I giggled. “I’m not laughing at you Andrea. It’s just the timing. My phone died literally a couple of weeks after that, but half the time I couldn’t get it to work anyway, so all I got was these weird calls at the exact same time every evening. I thought I had a stalker so when I got a new phone I made sure it had caller ID on it.”

“Ohmygawd,” she whispered. “Robin I am so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault An. Really. Anyway how are you doing?”

“Lousy,” she whined. As Nicole drove, I listened as Andrea explained how things at school had taken a nose-dive after the jock dumped her. Apparently people had gotten the idea that I left school because of her.

“Why would they think that?”

“Because I … kind of… let them think that. I thought maybe it’d boost my popularity in the wake of being dumped, but it just made things worse. God, I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Andrea… Have you tried just being nice to people?”

“I don’t know how to be nice to people. I mean, what if they just try to use me, like I used you?”

“That’s the risk you have to take, but consider the reward. Like I said, I’m driving with Nicole to my endocrinologist in her Mustang.”

“She has a Mustang?!”

Nicole giggled, “I heard that.”

“Yes, and we met Heedless Despair at her birthday party last week. She talked them into playing for her Halloween party too. I’m not saying it’s all been sunshine and rainbows here. I’ve had plenty of problems too, but the difference is I have friends who love and accept me who’re there to catch me when I fall. Andrea, you’ve got to realize trying to control everyone doesn’t win you any friends. It wins you lackeys, but they’re not going to care when you fall.”

She stayed silent for several seconds after that, and I’d started to wonder if we lost the connection when she finally replied. “Thanks, Robin. I… I think I needed that. Truth be told, I miss you. I never thought I would, but that day at the mall, you showed me a side of yourself I never knew you had, and I’m kind of feeling … well … bad about not getting to know her … you … better.”

“I’m sorry, Andrea, but I just couldn’t stay there any longer. My friends, my sister, and my Girl Scout troop are all here. My life is here. But if you ever find yourself on the east coast you’ll find a warm welcome here.”

“Maybe. It’d be just as well. I mean, nobody would believe that totally hot girl a few guys saw me talking to that day was really you anyway.” She chuckled. “It kind of stung when they only approached me after I left so they could ask for your phone number. Anyway, I’m sorry Robin. I’ll let you go so you can go do your… Endo-whatever thing.”

“You made your bed, Andrea, but that doesn’t mean you have to lie in it. Get yourself some good friends. Surround yourself with people you can trust, and treat them the way you want them to treat you, and I promise you things will get better, alright?”

“Yeah... Thanks Robin. Take care of yourself.”

Nicole shook her head as I put my phone away. “You really are perfect.”

“Like hell,” I laughed. “The thing is, Nikki, there are very, very few people who are truly ‘evil’, heartless, and without remorse. Jason might be. I don’t know yet. Andrea was just petty, and now she’s paying for it.”

“I guess. I just wish I could forgive so easily. Anyway, we’re here. C’mon pumpkin. Let’s get this over with.”

Following my bi-monthly stabbing, Nicole offered to make it up to me (as she knew how much I loathed needles) by taking me out to a romantic movie I’d been waiting to see for a couple of months. Afterward we talked it over, and decided to have dinner at one of those clubs that allow minors in as long as we don’t order anything alcoholic.

Not surprisingly there were a few other high school students mingling with the college students, in addition to the array of older folks here and there. We pushed through the crowd as a pulsing techno beat blared to the flash of colored lights overhead, finding a comfortable booth away from the dance floor to wait for someone to come by.

We didn’t have long to wait, as a man who couldn’t be older than Margie, with neatly trimmed brown hair, dressed in a faux tuxedo t-shirt and slacks approached us.

“Welcome, ladies! Can I get you anything? And if you order anything alcoholic I’ll have to see some ID.”

We both produced our IDs just the same, as I glanced at Nicole. “I dunno. I’m not very hungry.” I giggled, glancing back at our waiter. “I kind of filled up on popcorn at the movie.”

Nicole laughed, “You, not hungry? Now that’s a first. Want to split an order of breadsticks?”

“That sounds great. Um, do you make virgin cocktails here?”

“Sure do. What can I get you?”

“Anything with cherries.”

“Vanilla Cherry soda?” he responded with a smile.

“Oooh, that sounds good.”

Nicole laughed. “I’ll have an Abstinence on the Beach.”

He gave her a funny stare for just a moment, as it registered. “Oh, right! Sorry, this is my first day so I’m still getting used to things. Hey, great shirt. Heedless Despair right?”

Nicole nodded, grinning proudly. “Yeah. My girlfriend here and our other friends got them to play at my sweet sixteen. Shadow gave this to me for publicity, since they’ll go on sale tomorrow anyway.”

He laughed, “Publicity eh? At least she’s honest. I’ll be right back with your drinks and breadsticks. Enjoy your evening!”

As we sat waiting for our drinks and just enjoying the music, Nicole nudged my leg gently with the tip of her boot. “Hey, Robin, isn’t that Kelly?”

I turned to see Kelly chatting with our waiter over by the bar, and giggled when he noticed us staring. He practically raced over to our table.

“I’m so sorry. I just got caught up talking to that cute girl over by the bar and-”

“It’s okay. They weren’t staring at you,” Kelly interrupted him, turning her attention to us. “Those had better be virgin cocktails, girls.”

“Oh, they are!” he quickly answered, sensing that Kelly obviously knew us. “Cherry Vanilla soda and Abstinence on the Beach,” he continued, setting the drinks down. Kelly grinned teasingly at us.

“I’m kidding. I know they know better. These two are practically family so I know they’ll behave. I just didn’t expect to see them here.”

Nicole raised her glass and giggled, “Yeah, ditto Kelly. Is Margie around too?”

“Yes, she’s upstairs chatting with the manager about something businessy.”

She turned back to the waiter and smiled, “So, Sean was it?”

We giggled to ourselves as we watched them walk away. Nicole whispered, “Ah, young love.”

“Or at least young like. Now if we can just get Margie dating again.” I laughed.

Hanging around the club, we took in the atmosphere, mingled, and Nicole even taught me a few new dance steps. I wasn’t brave enough to try anything as crazy as improvising, so I kept it simple and let her handle the non-rhythmically-challenged spectacles. Even though Mom told me Margie and Kelly weren’t going to be spying on us, I still felt more at ease knowing they were there if anything did happen. Security seemed pretty tight, but all the same I felt better having someone I knew and trusted there too.

On the way home, Maria finally called. She could only talk long enough to let me know she’d be at the meeting the next day though. I passed the message on to Nicole and sleepily settled into my seat as we talked. As we pulled into my driveway, conversation turned to speculation of how dinner had gone. Mom’s car was in the driveway so I wouldn’t have long to wait, at least.

Nicole shut off the motor and stepped out, and as had become our little tradition, she opened the door for me to step out, right into her waiting arms. She escorted me to the door.

“Nikki, I had so much fun tonight. I’m glad you suggested that club.”

“Me too. I wasn’t sure if it’d be your kind of thing, but you’re always saying I need to stop worrying so much about pushing you away, so I figured... why not?”

“Are you kidding? That was great! I mean, I’m not big on the music, but the atmosphere was fun. I guess having Margie and Kelly around let me feel a little safer too.”

She laughed, “Oh Gawd, yeah, that was like, totally unexpected, but I was kind of glad they were there too, just y’know, being normal people there to have fun, but there if we needed them.”

I wrapped my arms around her waist as she pulled me close, resting my head on her shoulder for a long moment. Finally she leaned in to kiss me goodnight. “G’night cutie,” she whispered.

“Sweet dreams, vampire,” I teasingly replied, kissing her back before she reluctantly pulled away, returning to her car. She sat in her car, watching me step inside before driving away.

“Mom?” I called as I stepped inside. “I’m home! How did it go?”

“In here sweetheart,” she called back from the living room. I slid out of my jacket, neatly hanging it in the hall closet. I held on to my white handbag for now as I entered the living room to find her sitting on the sofa, a quart of ice cream and a spoon in-hand.

“Oh no. Please tell me it didn’t go badly?” I rushed to her side. She giggled a little.

“No, sweetheart, it didn’t go badly.” She wrapped her arm around me, hugging me close. “After dinner, we sat down and talked over wine, and I told him everything. He asked if he could have some time to process it all, but promised nothing would change with regard to your training or your Sensei-student relationship, nor would he breathe a word to anyone. He just wanted some time to think about it.

“After that we talked quite a bit more, though I think the wine did most of the talking for both of us. Some old wounds were admitted on both sides, and we agreed to take things slowly for now, but I really think there’s something there. Maybe it’s the wine and the ice cream talking, but…” she paused, turning to look me in the eyes.

She’d been letting her hair grow ever since the accident, and it now hung in perfect curtains around her face and shoulders. “I think I’m falling in love.”

She leaned forward, setting the ice cream aside. “Speaking of romantic evenings, how did your date with Nicole go?”

“It was amazing. We went to see that romance movie I’ve been talking about — you know, the one that the entire movie takes place in an airport terminal? Anyway, after that we went to this club,” I rambled on and on about our date, and how Margie and Kelly turned up there as well.

I also made a point to assure Mom, much as Sean assured Kelly, that our drinks were completely alcohol-free. I never much cared for the idea of drinking anyway.

“Oh, and Andrea called!”

“Andrea… What on earth did she want?”

“Mostly to apologize. Things kind of went south on her after I left, and a lot of people think she went too far and stuff. I feel bad for her. I mean she was a petty jerk, but she’s still human. But with her being on the other side of the country there’s not really a lot I can do for her, so… I told her to surround herself with people she can trust, and treat them the way she wants to be treated.”

“That’s good advice,” Mom responded soberly, but smiled.

“Hey, those three-hundred dollar sessions had better be worth the advice,” I teased. I had no idea how much Dr. Ketz’ sessions actually cost, as it was the one thing Margie insisted defiantly on taking care of herself, but it was still a funny joke, between a euphoric daughter and a slightly ice cream-buzzed mother.

“I’m going to go write in my diary for awhile, then try and get some sleep. If Ally calls though, go ahead and wake me up if I doze off?”

“Okay sweetheart,” she replied, kissing my forehead.

With the second Girl Scout meeting tomorrow afternoon I’d have to work on my Aria Blade costume in the morning. We still needed to see if Jennifer wanted in on the action since, having seen the advance storyboards, I knew she’d love the revised Volcaness.

I felt so terrible about keeping all this from Nicole, but she seemed so excited about her own surprise that I didn’t have the heart to spoil it.

For now though, I kicked off my shoes, and after changing into a pink cami top pajama bottom set, I curled up under my sheets with Mr. Kensington at my side, and my diary close-at-hand to detail the latest entry in a long line of ups and downs.

At least I could safely say I had the one thing I always wanted: to be treated like a normal teen girl, with all the benefits and consequences that came with it.

I wouldn’t trade it for anything, either.

~* Mending Fences *~ “Hey Smith!” I heard Jason calling. Allison, Nicole and I were halfway to the gym, but stopped and immediately turned back as he approached us. “I want to talk to you a second , in private?” He scowled at my ‘bodyguards’. I nodded to my friends. “It’s okay guys.” Nicole reluctantly let go of my arm, and I moved to follow Jason away from them. He stopped just out of earshot and turned back to me. I couldn’t quite read his emotions. He seemed distressed, and more than a little upset though. “What the hell is up with you?” he demanded, careful to keep a good foot of distance between us. “What are you talking about?” I asked flatly. “I know you went to the Principal today, and I know it was about me, and now suddenly I get a little private note from Rochelle wanting to see me in his office. I thought we were through!”

---

Author's Note:
Sorry, STILL no party. I promise that's coming next chapter, and it's worth the wait, but with some important plot elements moving forward this chapter I didn't want to overload this chapter too heavily ;-)

As an aside you may want to have a box of tissues handy for this one. I've been having trouble sleeping lately. Weird, freakish, and downright DISTURBING nightmares have kept me awake lately, but as terrifying and 'wrong' as they are, they've been fodder for my waking world's inspiration :-D
~Zoe

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It had been awhile since the four of us could get together for a sleepover, so when Allison suggested it following the Girl Scout meeting, we of course leapt at the idea. We covered quite a lot of ground during the meeting, with Maria providing some surprising advice on how exactly to even approach Mrs. Beaumont without upsetting her.

After much discussion, I found myself elected the spokesgirl for the endeavor, but I’d have Maria with me in case Jason became involved. He seemed to be a completely different person around her, so I felt safer knowing she’d be there. For the walk-a-thon itself we elected to wait until the first Friday in November both to give ourselves time to acquire sponsors throughout the community, as well as to give those of us involved in planning and decorating for Nicole’s party time to recover.

“Robin, are you okay?” Nicole nudged my shoulder gently. Apparently I’d been staring off into space again, but her gentle touch brought me back to reality. She sat down beside me on the sofa in the Jones’ game room. Jennifer and Allison set their pool sticks aside and approached as well, Jennifer adding.

“You’ve been kind of quiet all day. What’s wrong?”

At first I didn’t answer. I really didn’t like or want to talk about it, but I knew I’d have to tell the others eventually. “It’s my nightmares again,” I whined. “I didn’t get much sleep last night because of them.”

Allison frowned, taking my hand and kneeling in front of me, even as Nicole nuzzled closer, trying to comfort me. Given the nature of my latest nightly encounter, it brought me very little comfort. “Was it… him again?”

“No. This was much worse, and more terrifying. I think that fight with Maria the other day messed with my head.”

Jennifer sat down on the other side now, facing me, with her leg tucked up beneath her. She placed a comforting hand on my shoulder as she asked, “What do you mean?”

I glanced at Nicole, biting my lip. I shifted my gaze downward, not really looking at Allison so much as the ground beside her. “I-it was about Nikki and me. I… I dreamed that we had this huge fight and broke up.” That wasn’t the half of it. The words ‘I hate you’ were used.

I could feel tears welling up, and instinctively turned to Nicole. It almost seemed she knew I was about to turn to her because the moment I did, I felt her arms around me, holding me close. I lost myself in her shoulder, as her fingers ran slowly over my back.

“Shh, it’s okay,” she whispered, trying to comfort me. “Robin we’ve never had a fight. You know that.”

“I know,” I sobbed quietly, “That’s just it. That’s why the dream scared me so bad. I couldn’t even get back to sleep afterward. I never thought I’d have problems with Maria either. I trusted her, and she just … totally blew up on me. It’s got me wondering how fragile…”

Jennifer leaned over to squeeze my shoulder lightly as she responded, “Robin… Friends argue. The four of us are kind of weird in that regard, yeah. It’s because we’ve ALL been through something that’s changed us and made us more open and respectful toward each other.

“I watched Kelly’s transition with Ally, and you and Ally have the Raggedy Man incident. Nikki has her … troubled past, and that’s not even counting you almost losing your Mom. We love each other in a way most people would never understand, and we’re closer friends because of all we’ve been through separately and together.”

That was one of the things I loved about Jennifer. Ninety-nine percent of the time, she passed herself off as a normal teenager, but when you needed advice or perspective, she was the one to turn to. She leaned closer to hug me, continuing. “You should be happy. I wish I felt as sure about my relationship with Josh as you and Nikki seem to feel about each other.”

Allison added dryly, but grinned, “Don’t forget I’m not even allowed to date yet.”

Nicole smiled as she pulled back, in an attempt to get me to look at her. She reached up and brushed a few strands of hair from my face, stroking my cheek lightly in the process. “Robin, I don’t know what our future holds. I don’t know if we’ll always be together or whatever, but what I do know is that right now, I’m crazy about you. You’re all I can think about. Before I met you, I knew I liked girls, but you were the first girl that I ever felt truly attracted to, even before I knew anything about you.”

I timidly stared back at her for a moment into those gorgeous brown pools, and the feelings from our first meeting came surging to the forefront like a torrent. The moment our eyes met, I knew I wanted to be with her. I managed to smile as I threw my arms around her more tightly, squeezing her close as I sobbed. “I’m sorry Nikki.”

“Don’t be,” she whispered into my ear as she held me. I just wanted to cry, to just let out all the tension I’d been bottling up over the past few days.

“Everyone expects so much of me, and with how Sensei Rogers reacted to the family secret and these nightmares, I guess it was inevitable that my mind would turn them in on me like this. I… haven’t had a good night’s sleep in a week, but last night was the worst.”

Jennifer frowned. “That sounds serious, but I think I can help, if you’re willing to trust me; you too Nikki.”

Nicole immediately nodded. “Sure, Jen: if it’ll help Robin I’ll do whatever it takes.”

I smiled, leaning in to kiss Nicole’s cheek just below her ear. “Thank you… All of you. I’d be so lost without you guys some days.”

Allison stood and walked around behind the sofa, where she leaned forward to hug the three of us at once. “That’s what friends are for. I’ll go get the sleeping bags. Jen, you do whatever it is you have to do. Tomorrow’s a school night so Mom wants lights out by ten.”

Jennifer smiled as she stood. “Right; first, you two go get into your pajamas. I’ll just change down here. You need to be comfortable for this.”

“What are you going to do?” I asked as I hesitantly untangled myself from Nicole to stand. She smiled knowingly at me.

“The ancient Hawai’ians believed that by invoking the Menehune and offering your heartfelt prayers that you could invoke their protection to ward off evil spirits. Tonight you will sleep like the Island Princess.”

Nicole and I, though we of course used separate bathrooms to do so, left upstairs to change. I had bought a new long-sleeved white silk pajama set that I’d been saving for a special occasion like tonight, and Nicole had brought a ridiculously oversized t-shirt and sweats. We found Jennifer dressed in a short-sleeved flannel night gown, sitting cross-legged on the floor. She reached a hand up, patting the sofa gently for us to sit.

A few seconds later, three sleeping bags came sailing down the stairs, crashing into the bottom wall with a dull thud, with Allison close behind in her Barbie-pink shorts and camisole. “Sorry! They slipped,” she offered with a giggle.

Jennifer laughed. “It’s fine. I haven’t started yet anyway. Oh, I knew I forgot something. Wait here a second.”

As Allison unfurled the sleeping bags, Jennifer rushed upstairs. Nicole pulled me closer, and whispered as she slowly stroked my hair. “Feel any better?”

“Yeah. Sometimes it’s just nice to cry for absolutely no reason,” I mumbled sheepishly.

She giggled. “Yeah, it is. Just don’t tell anybody I agreed with you. I DO have a rep to maintain.”

Jennifer returned with a small glass of milk. I thought I could see steam rising from the white liquid as she approached. “Don’t drink this yet. It’s piping hot, and for a reason. It has to be hot or the Menehune won’t answer. I’m supposed to use coconut, but it’s a little late for grocery shopping,” she teased. I nodded, accepting the piping hot liquid. She settled onto the floor again. Allison sat beside her, leaving just Nicole and me on the sofa.

Jennifer whispered something in what I could only guess was her mother’s native language. She made a sign with her hands that looked like a welcoming or greeting gesture, and when she finished, she nodded toward me. “Go ahead and drink it now. It should be cooled enough.” I drank down the liquid then handed it off to Allison, who smiled and set the empty glass aside as Jennifer continued. I couldn’t help feeling more relaxed already. What did she put in that?

“At Girl Scout camp I told you guys the legend of the first Hawai’ian lei, and how the Menehune protected their Island Princess as she sought to prove herself against the might of Kanaloa, sea god of death, but the story does not end so easily. You see…”

Jennifer went on to tell us the rest of the legend, or so she professed, of how the Island Princess’ trials did not end with her surfing excursion. She had proven herself to the Polynesian Queen that she was indeed worthy to succeed her, but in the process had angered dark spirits who thought her display arrogant.

As Jennifer’s tale continued, I felt my eyelids becoming heavier and heavier. I curled up next to Nicole, who wrapped me in her arms and kissed my forehead. That was the last thing I remembered. I felt something stirring next to me and opened my eyes again, to find myself on the sofa, but not quite on the sofa. Someone had draped an unzipped sleeping bag over me, and as I looked up, I realized I had been sleeping in Nicole’s arms. She smiled as she tousled my hair lightly. “Morning sleepyhead,” she yawned.

“Morning already?” I asked in surprise, despite my own yawn. She giggled quietly.

“You fell asleep during Jen’s story, and I just didn’t have the heart to wake you up.”

“What time is it?” I asked as I snuggled closer, wanting to enjoy the warmth of our united body heat beneath the makeshift blanket for just a few more seconds.

Allison giggled from somewhere behind the sofa. “It’s six o’clock. Mom’s already got breakfast almost ready. Come on up when you’re ready to eat.”

Jennifer leaned over the back of the sofa. Even at six A.M. her gorgeous brown hair still lay in seemingly perfect waves. “How did you sleep?”

I giggled as I shifted to sit up, letting Nicole up in the process. I leaned up to wrap Jennifer in a hug as best I could, which she happily returned. “I slept like a log. What was in that milk?”

“Ancient Hawai’ian secret,” she teased. “Warm milk and a bedtime story: words bring life, and words bring death, remember? Now come on. I’m hungry!” she teased, bounding right past Allison for the stairs. I slowly eased myself off the sofa, offering Nicole my hand and pulling her up into a hug.

“Nikki… I’m sorry about last ni-” I started, but she placed two fingers against my lips then kissed me lightly.

“No apologies. You’ve got a lot on your mind, and our conversation in the elevator Saturday probably didn’t help things. I’ve told you before that I’m not going anywhere.”

“Yeah… Me either,” I responded with a smile, grabbing her hand to drag her along with Allison up to breakfast.

School Monday passed relatively uneventfully as school days go. People had long stopped snickering behind my or Nicole’s backs, and neither of us had received a nasty note since the first incident. It seemed that somewhere between my showing up to school and being elected the Sophomore royal, I’d finally stopped being gossip-worthy.

I had a meeting with Principal Rochelle after lunch that I didn’t look forward to though. It seemed like every time we had to talk about something, that little vein in his forehead got just a little more pronounced. I knew it wasn’t my fault, but I still felt kind of guilty. Not surprisingly, Tina Gale was waiting in the office. What was her problem anyway? Didn’t she have some dumpster to go digging through?

“Hello there,” she offered cordially as I stepped inside. I offered a timid smile as I nodded.

“Um, hi.”

“Business or pleasure?” she teased. She certainly seemed to be in a good mood today.

“Pardon?”

She laughed. “I’m sorry. That was a bad joke. I’m just waiting for Matt-I mean, Mr. Rochelle to finish up a phone conference. You look … familiar. Weren’t you in here the last time I was here?”

“Err, well, maybe?”

“You were the girl that came in just as he ran me out last time, weren’t you?” She paused, giving me a wry smile before I could answer, although the unease was probably evident on my face anyway. “I’m sorry you had to see that. Matt and I go way back, and I thought I could use that to find out what was really going on.”

“So what are you doing here now?” I tried to sound polite and give her the benefit of the doubt, but for a New Haven reporter, she showed up in Alpine Springs at the most inopportune times.

“Well, I wanted to apologize to him face-to-face about what happened the last time I was here. It’s been so long that I forgot what it was like to be a teenager.” She half-sighed, half-laughed as she glanced around. “If these walls could talk…”

“You went to school here?” I asked, surprised. She smiled.

“Oh yes. Matt and I even went to the senior prom together. That was a long time ago though. Strictly off the record, is it true a student was arrested for harassment and hate crimes?”

“That’s quite enough MISS Gale,” Principal Rochelle interrupted us. She and I both looked rather shocked at his sudden interruption. He scowled at her. “I thought you had let that matter drop.”

“I wasn’t- I mean, I didn’t-” she fumbled nervously. I couldn’t help myself and stood, speaking up.

“Sir, it’s okay. We were just talking about how she used to go to school here, passing the time while she waited to meet with you.”

He seemed kind of surprised at my comment, glancing between the two of us. He settled his gaze on her as he responded. “Tina, is that true?”

“Yes, I swear. I actually wanted to apologize to you about what this girl witnessed the last time. Like I was telling her, I forgot what it was like to be a teenager.” She stood and approached him, lowering her voice considerably. “I know I could have just called, but I thought an old friend deserved better. I’m sorry I tried to use your position like that.”

“How did you even find out anything was happening?”

“I have my sources, but don’t worry; it’s nothing that hack Jon Weathers at Channel Three would ever think of, so whatever you’re protecting is safe.” She leaned over to kiss his cheek, and for a moment I thought he might be blushing. It quickly passed as she turned to leave.

She paused to glance at me. “Nice talking to you.” She smiled professionally, and turned to leave. I actually felt relieved she didn’t ask my name. She had dropped the matter for now, but if she knew I was the girl she was looking for, she might not have given up so easily.

Principal Rochelle cleared his throat. “Now, was there something you needed Miss Smith?”

“Actually there is one thing. About Jason, I… want to ask you to drop the in-school restraining order, at least temporarily. A good friend of mine wants to go out with him, which could complicate things. But it’s more than that. I don’t know how much you’ve heard, but my Girl Scout troop is trying to organize a walk-a-thon, and the whole reason we’re doing so is because Jason’s mom is really sick. We want to show her that there’s always hope, so we decided as a troop to ask her to be our guest of honor for the event.

“We haven’t told anyone outside our troop about this yet because we want it to be her choice. We absolutely don’t want to ‘shame’ her into coming, so we’re handling it quietly for now.”

“I see… I still don’t understand how this relates to you wanting to lift the school board’s order though.”

“I almost lost my mom a few months ago to a car accident. I know how much that tore me up inside. Jason’s parents were already having problems even before she found out she was dying. And now he has that on top of everything else. I’m not saying Jason’s a saint, and I’m not saying I forgive him for attacking me. All I’m asking is that you help me give him another chance, to take some of the pressure off.”

The receptionist, who had been quietly typing away on something at her computer a moment earlier, smiled thoughtfully, “What she’s saying is that she wants to give him enough rope to either hang himself, or to pull himself out of his hole.”

“Yes, exactly!” I giggled a little.

Principal Rochelle breathed a slow sigh, and I had to fight to keep in a chuckle as he did that temple-rub thing he tended to do in my presence. Finally though, he nodded. “Alright… Alright. I’ll send a note along to campus security, but at the first sign of trouble, I’m holding you both responsible, understand?”

“Yes sir,” I responded. I would have to wait until after school to let Maria know, so for now I simply got a hall pass from the receptionist and headed to my next class.

“Hey Smith!” I heard Jason calling. Allison, Nicole and I were halfway to the gym, but stopped and immediately turned back as he approached us. “I want to talk to you a second , in private?” He scowled at my ‘bodyguards’.

I nodded to my friends. “It’s okay guys.” Nicole reluctantly let go of my arm, and I moved to follow Jason away from them. He stopped just out of earshot and turned back to me. I couldn’t quite read his emotions. He seemed distressed, and more than a little upset though.

“What the hell is up with you?” he demanded, careful to keep a good foot of distance between us.

“What are you talking about?” I asked flatly.

“I know you went to the Principal today, and I know it was about me, and now suddenly I get a little private note from Rochelle wanting to see me in his office. I thought we were through!”

“Jason, I went to talk to Principal Rochelle because I wanted to ask him to lift the restraining order the school board put in place,” I offered gently in response.

His eyes widened just a little, and he took another step back. “You… what?”

“Yeah. Surprised me too. Look, Maria likes you. I know you’re angry with me about what happened that first day, and I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. That should never have happened because I should never have reacted the way I did. Ask Maria about the Raggedy Man. She knows the whole story. I don’t expect you to understand, or to care for that matter, but it’ll help put things into perspective about why I reacted like that.”

Rather than respond, he slowly turned away from me and started walking. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Maria standing there. She threw her arms around me, and I hugged her back. “Ally just told me a second ago. I don’t know how to thank you.”

I smiled a little as we turned to rejoin Allison and Nicole. “I told you before, I’m trying to help. I want to believe that he’s shown you a side of himself that I haven’t seen. That’s why I told him to ask you about the raggedy man. It wouldn’t be the same coming from me.”

“You’re sure I can tell him? That was some pretty private stuff.”

“I’m sure. I trust you, ‘chica’.” I teased, giving her a light squeeze. She smiled brightly at that. “Now come on. We need to get changed for practice before the guys show up and get the good court.”

I spent Monday (following basketball practice) and Tuesday evenings putting the finishing touches on my Aria Blade costume, which was a good thing because Wednesday evening we needed to be at Nicole’s house to help decorate. As Nicole drove us closer, I felt a sudden surge of déjá  vu. A white convertible sports car passed us on the road, and the blonde-haired driver, along with the redhead and two brunettes in the backseat, all waved at us. They were the same women that were at the concession stand!

I craned my neck to watch them pass. Nicole giggled. “Um, you okay?”

“… Yeah. Was that… Nah. Couldn’t be.”

Nicole just grinned as we drove on to her house. We spent the better part of Wednesday evening decorating the formal dining room Nicole affectionately referred to as the ‘ball room’, and not just simple streamers and fake cobwebs. Nicole’s dad spared little expense. We tried to be frugal though, cutting corners where we could, but Halloween just isn’t Halloween without a big, scary-looking monster in the corner that looks like it might come alive at any moment and tear you apart! Granted it was only a rental.

Late Thursday evening, after dropping Jennifer off at her house, we pulled into Allison’s driveway. Sensei Rogers’ car sat parked in the street in front of my house, and I found myself just staring at it or several seconds.

“Hey… Are you okay?” Allison nudged me gently to get my attention. I nodded slowly as I turned back to her and Nicole. “Yeah. I guess he finally has an answer. I’m just not sure I’m ready to find out what it is yet.”

Nicole gave me a reassuring hug as she answered, “We can go over with you if you want.”

I nodded nervously, and hand-in-hand with Nicole and Allison, we walked over to my house. As I pushed the door open, I could hear laughter from both Mom and Margie. This was a good sign at least. Mom called from the living room, “Robin, is that you dear?”

I hesitantly poked my head around the corner, quickly flanked by my two friends. Sensei Rogers stood from his seat to approach me. He didn’t so much smile at me as that he didn’t stop smiling when he approached, placing his hands on my shoulders. “Robin, I’m glad you’re here. There’s something I need to tell you.”

I tilted my head back to look at him. Something seemed different. In my nervousness, I hadn’t noticed until now that he’d finally shaved his beard! He gently guided me toward the sofa where he sat me down, then sat beside me, facing me. “Both as your Sensei, and as a friend of your mother’s, I wanted to apologize for taking so long to talk to you about all this.

“The truth is, I had a little trouble even believing this could be true. Your sister showed me pictures of you from when you were younger tonight, and even then, I had trouble believing it. I never had any difficulty accepting that you are a bright, compassionate young lady. I had trouble believing you could have ever been anything but.” He smiled gently.

I couldn’t help myself, leaning over to wrap him in a warm hug. “So, does that mean…?” I asked. I could already feel tears welling up for the second time this week. He smiled and nodded. “Your spirit defines who you are. Your ‘secret’ is safe.”

Mom stood and approached, bending down to hug me next. “Ash cancelled his night class tonight so he could take us to dinner.”

“Really? You guys didn’t have to wait for me though.”

He smiled as he nodded. “I know, but we wanted to extend the offer to you just the same.”

“Maybe I can take a rain check? We finished building a makeshift stage tonight, but every muscle in my body aches for my trouble.” I giggled. “I think I’m just going to go up to my room and get some sleep.”

“Oh, that reminds me, how have you been sleeping?” Sensei Rogers asked, concerned. I grinned at that, and I could practically see the relief swell to the surface in his features when I did.

“My friend Jen worked a little Hawai’ian magic on me. Some warm milk, a bedtime story, and a good, hard cry, not necessarily in that order. I’ve been sleeping a lot better since.”

Of course, I left out the part about falling asleep in Nicole’s arms. I knew they wouldn’t understand our relationship. Mom might, but Sensei Rogers just didn’t know Nicole the way we did, and why something like that really was completely innocent, if completely romantic too! After hugging my friends, and giving Nicole a good night kiss, I slipped off up to my bedroom for the night.

Friday afternoon was the day I had been dreading all week. I decided to wear a white, flower-patterned ankle-length skirt with a sky blue top to at least present a semi-formal appearance that day because that afternoon would be when I’d meet with Mrs. Beaumont.

The white paint had begun to crack, showing its age, and the lawn looked like it hadn’t been mowed in awhile, to say nothing of the leaves piling up. I could almost tangibly feel the sense of hopelessness that hung over the house.

“Hey, chica, you ready?” Maria asked as she approached. In sharp contrast, she’d worn a simple t-shirt and jeans, but she wasn’t on bad terms with Jason either: at least, I hadn’t heard anything more of how he took the Raggedy Man saga, and I certainly wasn’t going to ask.

“Yeah, but I’m a little nervous.”

“Re-lax. You said she knows you right? So it won’t be a problem! C’mon,” she gently wrapped her hand around mine, pulling me along. After ascending the stonework steps, we approached the curtained glass door, and Maria stepped closer to ring the door bell.

Jason opened the door, smiling a little at seeing Maria. “Maria, hey, um…” he paused, glancing at me. “Er…”

Maria giggled. “Relax babe. She’s here to talk to your mom. Is she home?”

“Uh, yeah. But what’s this about?”

Maria glanced at me, then back at Jason, “Girl Scout business.” She lowered her voice and stepped closer. I could barely make out what she said, but it was something about wanting to help. He frowned, but reluctantly stepped back, waving us in.

“Mom’s resting in the living room through there. Go on in.” I watched as the two of them disappeared into the kitchen. I wondered, as I made my way through the small house, how many times Maria had been here before. She had given me the address after all.

The interior, especially the living room, looked surprisingly well-kept despite outside appearances. I found Mrs. Beaumont sitting in an easy chair under a floor lamp by the fireplace, a large, old photo album spread across her lap.

“Mrs. Beaumont?” I asked quietly. She smiled as she glanced up at me.

“Yes?” she paused, staring at me for only a second before slamming the photo album closed, which caused me to jump. She set it aside and practically rushed across the floor to wrap me in a hug. “Oh, you’re Mrs. Smith’s daughter! … Rachel… Rebecca … Robin!”

I giggled a little. “Yes ma’am.”

“I am so, so sorry about everything,” she began as she stepped back, motioning toward the well-worn flower-patterned sofa. I moved to take a seat, leaning forward slightly as she seated herself.

“Really, there’s nothing to apologize for. Listen, there’s… there’s something really important I need to talk to you about. I talked to my mom, and she told me how sick you really are…”

Her face fell, but she nodded gently. “I suppose it was inevitable that she’d have told you.” She sighed to herself. “I’ve tried to be strong for Jason though. He’s just so… angry all the time.”

“It’s as hard on him as it is on you. Earlier this summer my mom was in a car accident. We used to live in San Francisco, so I had to uproot and move across the country to stay with my big sister while she was in a coma. I know how much it hurt almost losing her.

“My dad’s been gone for years, killed in an industrial accident, but he left us when I was still very little, so I didn’t have anyone else to turn to… But that’s why I’m here, now. I understand where Jason’s coming from, to a degree. I want to help before it’s too late.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, looking back at me with a kind of curiosity I hadn’t expected.

I smiled a little, garnering all my courage. “My girl scout troop is hosting a walk-a-thon for cancer research. We’ve been gathering sponsors this week, but we’d like very much if you would consider being our guest of honor. We want to raise awareness and put a face to it, as well as to remind people that there are treatment centers out there that can help.”

She chuckled to herself as she stood, slowly walking to the window. She peeled the curtain back, staring out across the unkempt front yard. “I’m no spokesperson, Robin. I can barely bring myself to leave this house anymore. It just hurts too much.”

“But there are people that can help you, if you’re willing to just take that first step. You don’t have to go it alone.” I stood and approached her, slipping my arms around her waist.

“Right now, you have the entire Alpine Springs Girl Scout troop unanimously behind you because I asked them to. You don’t have to do this, and we don’t want you to feel like you have to, but it would mean a lot to a lot of girls-”

“A lot of girls, and one son,” Jason mumbled from the doorway. Holding Maria’s hand, the two of them approached us. He hesitantly offered his other hand to me. “I’m… I’m sorry Robin.”

I smiled as I took his hand. “Me too. Listen… I have Kenpo tonight. My Sensei, Ashton Rogers, is a good, understanding man, and he knows how to listen. He’s also the one that taught me that defensive throw, if you’re interested in learning it.” I smiled wryly, and to my great surprise, so did he, but it didn’t last. “I… I don’t know. I could never afford it.”

“Actually, I’ve been working at the dojo on Saturdays to pay for lessons because I thought my family was hurting for money, but things are better now. I’d be happy to let someone else step into the arrangement in my place.”

The grin on Maria’s face made me giggle a little as she wrapped her arms around me. Mrs. Beaumont, who had stood there quietly watching the exchange, smiled and turned to hug her son.

Jason smiled a little as he nodded. “I guess I’ll see you tonight then,” he mumbled, trying to keep some semblance of tough, cool guy exterior. Maria glared at him for just a moment, but giggled.

As she and I stepped outside again, Mrs. Beaumont followed. “Robin,” she called after me, causing me to turn back to face her. “Tell your friends I’d be honored. And… tell them I’ll be making some phone calls soon.”

I smiled brightly as I returned to hug her. “Call my Mom. I don’t know if she told you, but she’s a registered nurse. She’ll be able to put you in touch with the right people. Here, let me give you my home number…” I fished in my purse for a pen and a scrap of paper, and after scribbling down my number, passed it to her. She glanced down at it with a smile.

As Maria and I left, I couldn’t help feeling a little bit of renewed hope. Her eyes seemed less dull than the last two times I’d encountered her. I couldn’t help wondering what she and Jason would talk about after we left though.

As we walked to the nearest bus stop, I had to hope that maybe, just maybe, we had finally started to make some small difference in their lives too.

~* Halloween *~ “Excuse me, Ms. Morgan; I need a word with you. It’s important.” “What’s up big guy?” she asked rather candidly. He glanced at me, then back at her. “Hey, whatever it is you can say it in front of Robin too.” He reluctantly sighed. “I just received a phone call from Mrs. Morgan. It’s about your father. He’s … in the hospital.” “What?! What happened?!” she abruptly leapt to her feet, and with the added height from having already been sitting on the stage stairs, she was almost able to look him in the eye.

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Author's Note:
Sorry this took me a bit longer than usual. I've been mulling over this chapter for awhile now. I wanted things to progress at just the right pace, and I think I've managed to accomplish that. I hope so, anyway. Enjoy!
~Zoe

PS: I'm trying something different and a little advanced (for me anyway!) with the HTML in this one. This is a one-time thing, but if anything breaks, please let me know and I'll pull the images, and host them in a separate blog post :-)

NOTE: Images of the girls in-costume courtesy City of Heroes Character Creator, www.cityofheroes.com

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I have to admit I had my doubts as to whether Jason would actually come or not, though at that particular moment my thoughts remained more focused on Sensei Rogers, as he gently turned my ankle to one side, then the other. I kept insisting that all I’d hurt when I fell getting out of Nicole’s Mustang was my pride, but he insisted on safety first. As he finished, reassured that the minor bruise my ankle now bore would be the only damage, Nicole appeared in the doorway.

“Look who I found in the lobby?” she grinned, pulling Maria inside. The dark-skinned girl waved, but gasped when she saw Sensei bandaging my ankle. “Robin, what happened?!”

My cheeks burned intensely as I shifted my gaze. “It’s stupid. I didn’t realize my shoelace was untied and fell flat on my face getting out of Nicole’s car. I bumped my ankle when I fell, but it’s just a little bruise. It doesn’t even hurt.”

Sensei Rogers finished tying the bandage into place and stood. “There. That should at least keep you from accidentally bumping it during practice, and making that bruise any worse. Now what was it you wanted to talk to me about?”

I stood, first bowing deeply. “Thank you, Sensei. I wanted to talk to you about Jason. Maria and I… Oh!” I paused, motioning to my patient Latin friend, who herself giggled. “This is Maria. Anyway we went to see Mrs. Beaumont to talk to her about being our guest of honor at next week’s walk-a-thon. I told you about the walk-a-thon didn’t I?”

He nodded. I’d swear he seemed afraid to interrupt me while I was on a roll, so I just kept babbling, explaining how a simple visit turned into inviting my ex-‘enemy’ to take my place helping out with the dojo’s weekly maintenance.

After I finished, he exhaled slowly, turning to pace a few steps away from us. He turned back again, a reluctant expression buried somewhere in his features. “Robin, are you absolutely certain about this? You’ll be taking responsibility for the actions of another student.”

Without hesitation, I nodded. “Yes, Sensei, I’m certain. I feel like this could be a great outlet for his anger, and I believe he could learn a lot from you, much as I have. The most important lesson you taught me was always think before you act. I failed to do that the first day of school and I paid for it. I don’t want to make the same mistake twice.”

He gave me a knowing smile. “You’ve come a long way from that nervous girl who could barely throw a punch a few months ago. I’m proud of you.”

“So does that mean…?” I asked hesitantly. He nodded in return, smiling more broadly.

Maria squealed. I think she was more excited than I could ever be. I’ll admit my motives hadn’t been completely pure. With Maria no longer mad at me, we could focus on the rapidly approaching basketball season, and with Jason no longer mad at me I could focus on not looking over my shoulder every time I left the gym. I wasn’t ready to forgive him completely, but I was ready to give him a chance at least.

As we lined up for practice, Sensei stepped to the center of the floor in front of us. “Who can tell me the first rule of this dojo?”

“No wearing cleats during practice?” a younger boy with sandy blond hair offered, to a quiet round of giggles.

“No, that’s the second rule,” he chuckled with a good-natured, but serious smile. “The first rule of this dojo is, ‘Check your ego at the door’. Now what that means is sometimes you’re going to get hurt accidentally, or sometimes someone will try to hurt you. Sometimes it happens outside the dojo, but within these walls, you respect yourself, you respect me, and you respect each other. Now, with that said I want to introduce you to our newest student.”

Much like my dealings with Natalie, in getting people to lighten up and give her a chance, I had a plan to help Jason too. It’d remain to be seen whether or not he deserved it, but I couldn’t very well let him swing in the breeze if he genuinely wanted to change.

Sensei motioned toward the door where Jason stood, now dressed in a simple white gi. “This is Jason, our newest student.” Jason nervously approached, and as he came to a stop next to Sensei Rogers, I made my move.

“Sensei, I would like to speak, sir.”

Of course, all eyes fell on me. Our class, though mostly teenagers or middle-schoolers, weren’t all from the same school district, but they all knew about Jason, and they knew our history. Sensei Rogers nodded. “Go ahead, Robin.”

I stepped forward and smiled as I offered Jason my hand. “You’re late.” I grinned, patting his shoulder lightly as he took my hand. I think the group let out a collective, if quiet sigh as I returned to my place. Sensei Rogers nodded to Jason.

“You’ll be working with Josh tonight, and I’ll personally work with you more tomorrow morning, if you’re still interested.”

“Thanks,” he responded neutrally, which to my mind was a massive enough improvement that I couldn’t possibly fault the guy. It’s true that a leopard can’t change its spots, nor a tiger its stripes, but I like to think people are better than animals, when they want to be.

Though we went our separate ways following practice, I did catch a glimpse of Jason and Josh sparring together. I didn’t know what they talked about, but I know I saw Josh smile a couple of times, and Jason shot Maria a nervous glance while the ‘girlfriends’ (Jennifer, Nicole, and now Maria) sat off to the side and gossiped.

“So are you ready for tomorrow night?” Nicole grinned as I carefully eased myself into her car. Not only did I not want a repeat performance of my arrival earlier that evening, but I’d earned a few new bruises for my trouble. It just was not my night. I did give her a playful grin, echoing as closely as I could manage, the response one of my favorite cartoon characters would give.

“Why, Brain? Wot are we gonna do tomorrow night?”

Without missing a beat, she smiled grimly, “Try to take over the world!”

We both exploded into giggles as we pulled into Friday evening traffic, and I, being the first to manage to catch my breath enough to say anything, continued. “Yeah, I’m so excited. I’ve been working really hard on my costume. You’re going to love it.”

She giggled. “Not as much as you’ll like the surprise the girls came up with. They really are devious when they put their mind to it.”

“Like someone else I know,” I joked, squeezing her free hand. She smiled briefly at me.

“I’d kiss you if it wouldn’t result in us veering off into that street light.”

“It’d almost be worth it, but I wouldn’t want to destroy your baby in the process.”

She giggled, patting the dashboard. “Good point. I still can’t believe you actually got Jason to come. I just hope you’re right.”

I had to exhale at that. “Me too Nikki. With Natalie it was easy to forgive her. It was only words. Jason took it a step further. Maria told him about the Raggedy Man, and I think maybe that helped take the edge off, but I’m still not ready to trust him yet.”

“Still that was pretty cool what you did, heading off anyone who’d give him a hard time like that.”

“Well, I’m not ready to trust him, but that doesn’t mean I’m not ready to give him a chance to prove himself. I’m just glad it’s finally over. I can breathe again, at least until Monday when I have to deal with Brittany again.”

“Brittany? I thought she lightened up after Homecoming,” Nicole asked, a little surprised, as we pulled into my driveway. I gave her a soft nod.

“She did, at first, but it’s like she’s getting back to her old tricks again.” I paused, turning in my seat to face her. “The thing is, I think there’s more going on there too.”

She unbuckled her seatbelt, shifting her posture slightly to look back at me. Her gorgeous brown eyes reflected the front porch light back at me, adding a hint of sparkle to them. “Why do you think that?”

“I dunno. I guess I just find it hard to believe she’d act like this for no reason… Plus I felt someone squeeze my hand when I came out of the locker room after talking to Maria, and I think it might’ve been her. Or maybe it’s just wishful thinking.”

“High school’s complicated when you’re the prettiest, most popular girl in school,” she teased, kissing my cheek. I giggled a little as I returned it in kind, leaning over to hug her.

“Yeah yeah. G’night cutie,” I grinned.

“Sweet dreams vam- HEY!” She laughed, poking my arm. “See you tomorrow. Oh, you have a ride right? I’d come pick you up, but I’m kind of in the show,” she trailed off, giggling at the mere thought of getting to perform live with Heedless Despair again.

I laughed as I squeezed her hand. “Yes, Margie’s dropping Ally and me off, and Jen and Josh are going together.”

“Awesome,” she replied as I reluctantly pulled myself away from her, stepping out of the car. Even with the side windows tinted I still imagined she waved as I blew her a kiss then turned to step inside. I needed to put some last-minute touches on my Aria Blade costume, but first I needed another shower, and some dinner, not necessarily in that order. At least I didn’t have to worry about my Belle costume, I thought to myself, as I closed the door behind me. That’s the great thing about a more ‘traditional’ costume though; rental stores are always an option.

My Aria Blade costume, on the other hand, had gone through several phases over the course of the last week. We ultimately had decided to go much more boldly than first intended. Since Aria Blade would kind of become a figurehead for the new teen hero team in the scope of the comic (pretty much against her will and wishes) Margie called in a few more favors.

Apparently she’d been working on another secret project recently, so the same person that helped her with that was ready and able to help me with the chest armor portion of Aria Blade’s costume. All that remained for me now was to apply a final coat of some kind of non-toxic protectant chemical to the costume to keep it looking new and ‘authentic’ for the photo shoot next month.

Morning came far too quickly. Maybe the anticipation for the coming parties had finally gotten to me, but I dreamed I was Belle, dancing across that spectacularly beautiful ballroom, only my dance partner, rather than the Beast of the movie, was instead Nicole. I at least awoke with a smile, though I squealed a little when I opened my eyes and found Allison smiling at me.

“Morning,” she giggled, sliding off my bed.

“Jeeze, Ally, you scared me half to death,” I grumbled, but paused and stared at her sleepily. “What’re you doing here anyway?”

She giggled again. “It’s after ten, goof. You slept in again. Jen and Nikki are at my house already. The party, remember?”

That woke me right up; I rolled over to check my alarm clock, its bright LED confirming Allison’s comment. “Crap! I forgot to turn my alarm back on again.”

“Just come over in your jammies. We’re going to do our hair and makeup, and get dressed for the party at my house anyway. Er, unless you need to wash your hair first or anything,” she added, stepping out again.

I pulled back the covers, exposing my mostly bare skin (as I’d chosen to sleep in a white cami and shorts) with a shiver. No way would I be going over there dressed like this! Instead I quickly threw on the jeans I’d worn the night before and the first top I could find, which happened to be a long-sleeved purple turtleneck.

I had some trouble navigating the stairs with a garment bag containing my golden ball gown slung over my shoulder, makeup kit and a shoe box containing both the heels, hose, and white gloves I’d need to complete the ensemble tucked under my arm. Mom and Margie had both left for work, so I had to struggle to get out the door. By the time I arrived on the Jones’ doorstep, I’d already given up on letting myself in, using my foot to lightly kick the door to ‘knock’.

Kelly pulled the door open, her eyes widening. She quickly stepped closer, offering her hand. “You should’ve told Allison you needed a hand,” she chided playfully as I handed her the garment bag.

“I didn’t think I would. That gown is heavy!”

“The girls took over the master bathroom since there’s more counter space to work with. Go on up, and I’ll hang this in Allison’s room for you.”

Kelly was so thoughtful. I wrapped my free arm around her, which she returned with a cheerful smile, following me up the stairs. I passed through the Jones’ master bedroom, not really paying too much thought to the surroundings since I’d been through a dozen times in the time that I’d lived next door, and quickly found Allison, Jennifer and Nicole in various states of hair and makeup.

Nicole, glancing at me via the huge wall mirror, grinned. “It’s about time you got here. We were thinking of sending a search party.”

Jennifer elbowed Nicole playfully. “That’s what you get for keeping her up all night,” she chided.

“Hey, I’m innocent… this time,” she shot back with a raspberry on the end.

“No, actually, she’s right,” I joked as I set my makeup case down on the counter. “I had this really amazing dream about you. Hang on a second while I put this in Ally’s room.” I patted the shoe box lightly and turned to step out. Not surprisingly Nicole followed me, even despite the fact only half her hair had been styled, the other half lying flat. When I turned around, I had to try hard to stifle a laugh at the sight.

“What was your dream about?” she asked, somewhat seriously, but with a curious, even innocent tone. I wrapped her in a hug as I rested my head on her shoulder. “Us. I guess I’m just really excited about the party because, remember the ballroom scene from ‘Beauty and the Beast’? The last thing I remember was dancing with you in that ballroom.”

She giggled. “So I’m a big, hairy beast now?”

I laughed, grabbing her hand and dragging her back to the bathroom. “That’s not a safe question to ask right now. Let me finish with your hair, THEN I’ll tell you you weren’t a big, hairy beast.”

She reached her free hand up, lightly touching the fluffed-up side of her hair and laughed. “Oh, duh.”

Of the four of us, we probably had the most trouble with what to do with Nicole’s hair. We had settled on a ‘Disney Princesses’ theme, but Snow White had always been depicted as having short hair, where Nicole’s was longer than even mine, and there was no way she’d let a professional cut it that short, let alone any of us. We ultimately compromised by under-tucking it to let it hang in a “fake bob” style with hair pins hidden underneath. It made for a spectacular illusion if one just saw her at a glance.

While the other three changed into their costumes, I slipped into Allison and Kelly’s smaller bathroom to change into mine. I decided to take my shoes and gloves with me, though I left the fake gold tiara in the box for now. I’d swear you could have heard a pin drop when I stepped back into Allison’s bedroom. Jennifer dressed as Pocahontas, Allison as Cinderella, and Nicole as Snow White, all stared silently at me. Nicole’s jaw fell open, but she didn’t say anything.

I could feel my cheeks burning quite intensely. “… What?”

Nicole blinked, RUNNING across the floor to throw her arms around me. I laughed as I accepted her hug, Allison and Jennifer joining a moment later. Nicole giggled. “Robin, you look… Um, wow. You look JUST like Belle. You’re gorgeous!”

Jennifer giggled. “Just one thing missing.” She ran back to my accessory/shoebox, returning a second or two later. “Nik-I mean, Snow White, will you do the honors?”

Nicole grinned as she accepted the tiara from ‘Pocahontas’, carefully placing it on my head. “There.”

“Thanks you guys. Honestly you guys look amazing too. I still can’t believe we talked Nicole into that dress though.”

Nicole laughed. “It’s for a good cause. But if someone takes a picture of me in this thing I swear I’ll break their camera.”

“Oh,” Jennifer spoke, even as she stepped away. She knelt to retrieve a plastic replica of Pocahontas’ mother’s necklace from her purse. “That reminds me, I invited a photographer from the yearbook staff to come take pictures at the party. I think Trina’s bringing her camera to your party tonight too.”

“You mean there’s going to be photographic evidence in the YEARBOOK?” Nicole sounded nervous, but she just couldn’t keep a straight face and started giggling, causing the rest of us to crack up. Laughter among the four of us was contagious. No matter how hard one of us tried, if at least two others started laughing, we were all doomed.

“I forgot Trent’s on yearbook staff,” Allison commented as she placed her own silver tiara into her perfectly styled blonde hair. Jennifer had done an amazing job with her. She looked like the real Cinderellie. All she needed was a pumpkin and a prince.

“Yeah, Laura convinced him to take photojournalism with her last year I think, and then she decided not to keep going with it.”

“She’s going as Trina, though?” I asked, a little surprised. Going out as a group was one thing, but a lot of kids from school would be at Nicole’s party. Nicole addressed my concerns with a reassuring smile.

“I know what you’re thinking, but it’s okay. This is Halloween. The best part is I heard from Laura that Trina’s going as a cheerleader, so it’s double-awesome.”

We giggled and chatted for another short while, and before long the four of us were cruising downtown. Having a school employee as a den mother to our troop had its definite advantages. Coach Greer had managed to get permission for us to use the high school cafeteria to host the annual Halloween party, and as a bonus, it was already decorated, so all we had to do was hang the “Happy Birthday!” banner to honor our founder after school the day prior.

Ghosts, goblins, witches, fairy princesses, angels, and ballerinas among other, more original costumes greeted us as we entered the cafeteria. Even Coach Greer had gotten into the spirit of things. She stood at the entrance dressed in an elegant black evening gown and black opera gloves, but what really gave away what she was ‘supposed to be’ was the dark makeup: well, that and the fangs, when she grinned at us.

“Girls, you look amazing! Let me guess — Pocahontas, Snow White, Cinderella, and Belle?” We giggled and nodded almost in unison, causing her to laugh. “Amanda loves Disney movies almost as much as I do,” she smiled sheepishly. “Come on inside. Pizza’s being catered, and the cafeteria ladies have generously volunteered their time to make an extra-large double-layer chocolate birthday cake too.”

Although the turnout had been somewhat less than we had hoped, I was happy to see Elaine, dressed like a hobo, and I barely recognized Tracey with her blonde wig and Marilyn Monroe dress. She seemed to be smiling and enjoying herself, chatting with a couple of younger girls. As I grabbed a slice of pizza and found a seat, I couldn’t help missing a few faces though, but they at least had their reasons.

“I wish Natalie and Rachel could be here,” Allison echoed my thoughts, as she sat at the round lunch table beside me.

“Yeah, me too,” Jennifer offered. “I also wish Pocahontas wore pants. It’s cold in here!” she laughed.

Just before we were about to go our separate ways to mingle with our fellow scouts, the yearbook staff photographer Jennifer had invited, who just happened to be the mousy girl who took our picture on Hawai’ian Lei Day approached us. She snapped a few pictures then sat down at our table. “You guys are so amazing,” she had an almost longing tone in her voice.

We looked at each other and giggled a little as I spoke up, “We didn’t have much to do with this. The Scouts hold parties like these every year.”

“Oh, I know,” she replied with a sheepish smile. “I guess I’m just kind of jealous. You’re all really outgoing and I’m … well, not.”

Allison glanced at me and grinned. “You should have met Robin before this last summer. Girl Scout camp REALLY changed her.”

The short girl, whom I had decided to nickname ‘Mousy’ officially because she kind of reminded me of a timid mouse, always afraid of a slumbering cat close by, stared at me in surprise. “Seriously? You weren’t always this laid-back and outgoing?”

I laughed. “Believe it or not, before I moved here I used to be the kid who hid in the school library to avoid bullies. I still got dropped in the occasional trash can for my trouble.”

She leaned forward, resting her chin on her hand. “What changed all that? I mean, what happened at camp?”

“A lot of things happened, but I think the big thing was that camp helped me come to terms with who I am, and who I want to be. I enjoy helping people, and I love fashion.”

“Where she used to be an introverted tomboy,” Nicole chimed in.

“Yeah. Camp was the first time I had a chance to actually help someone else-”

“Crystal, right? Elaine told me that story, but I didn’t put two and two together until recently when she was going on about an article she wants to write.”

I nodded. “Yeah, that’s where Jen taught us to Hula, as part of the big camp luau. You should go next year. I’m sure Director Meredith will lift the ‘no electronics’ rule to let you bring your camera too.”

“I’m a little old to be signing up for Girl Scouts this late though,” she frowned, causing us to giggle.

“No you’re not. This last summer was my first year ever, and Nicole hasn’t been a scout since she was little. And believe me, badges aren’t everything either. I got the important ones as a first-year CIT, and the rest kind of fall into place as they will. You don’t even have to like the outdoors. It helps though because hiking and canoeing are a lot of fun.”

“Okay, okay!” she laughed. “You convinced me. I’ll talk to my mom about it next Spring. … Maybe I’ll talk to Mrs. Greer about joining too. Oh, I’m Kathy by the way. My friends call me Mouse.”

Hah! I nailed that one. I giggled. “Nice to meet you Mouse.”

“Likewise. Robin, Jennifer, Allison, and Nicole right?” she pointed to each of us, and we nodded as she listed off our names. “Kewl. Between Elaine and Trent I feel like I already know you guys, so I figured I’d just kind of take the plunge and say ‘Hi’ for once.”

“Hey, you’re welcome to hang out with us anytime,” Jennifer offered, with her trademark, laid-back smile. Mouse’s eyes widened slightly. “Seriously?”

Allison laughed, “Seriously! Hey you’re coming to Nikki’s party tonight aren’t you?”

“I, um... I mean I…”

Nicole giggled. “You’d better. Heedless Despair are making an encore appearance, but that’s all I’m permitted to say.”

“You mean the rumor’s true?! Awesome! Yes, I’ll come! Oh, I’d better get back to snapping pictures! My uncle’s friend writes for the local paper and asked if I’d give him a copy of my contact sheet to pick out the best prints, so I need to at least use a full roll.”

As she bounded off again, the rest of us split off to hang out and chat with the other Scouts. I found myself the subject of praise for my costume more than once, but the highlight of my afternoon had to be little Amanda, Angela’s daughter. Dressed like a little Princess herself, she hadn’t noticed the four of us at all yet until I slipped up behind her. Her friends all turned to stare at me, and in an almost cartoonish moment, she slowly looked between them, turned around to look up at me, smiling down at her, and squealed excitedly. “Spirit!”

I laughed as I knelt to hug her. “You look just like Belle!”

I giggled as her friends moved over to let me sit with them. “You look like a little princess yourself. I love your costume.”

“Thanks!”

“Are you guys having fun?”

“Yeah!” they cheered in unison. It’s funny. Before I met Amanda I had virtually no interest in kids, but from the moment I saw her, that little girl absolutely stole my heart. If I’d had a little sister myself, I’d have wanted her to be exactly like her.

The party seemed to last for hours, though really it had only just reached half-past one when the first parents started trickling in to pick up their children. The “Princess Brigade” as we had jokingly become known, stayed behind to make sure all the younger girls’ parents picked them up. Even Amanda’s dad came by to get her to give Angela a few minutes to catch her breath. As the last girl waved goodbye, leaving with her elderly grandfather, Angela approached us.

“You know, when I was first approached about being the new Den Mother, I was a little apprehensive. You four have really stepped up and shown me why Mer was so proud of you as CITs though. It’s not just planning events, but you really know how to connect with the younger girls — all of you.” We all kind of gathered around her in a group hug.

“I’m glad you took the job,” Allison said, though I think we all agreed with her.

“Ditto that,” Jennifer added, then grinned, “Plus Amanda idolizes Robin.”

I giggled, blushing a little. “If I’d had a sister I’d want her to be just like Amanda.”

“You know I could use a steady babysitter, if you’re interested. It’d just be one or two nights a month for my husband and I to get out of the house. I love Amanda with all my heart, but we haven’t gone out just the two of us since my mother-in-law passed away. She used to watch her once in awhile, and we just didn’t want to trust anyone else.”

I giggled. “My sister used to babysit me almost nightly when I was Amanda’s age, while my mom worked on her nursing credentials. I’d love to pay it forward as long as it’s not a basketball game night. I have Kenpo on Fridays too, but my mom’s kind of dating my Sensei so I think I can work around that if you need,” I grinned.

She laughed. “Mondays were our usual date night. One Monday a month to get us through the other three.”

“Sounds great. This Monday’s probably bad for me because we have the walk-a-thon that Friday, but the Monday after I should be free.”

“Great! I’ll let my husband know. I’m sure Amanda’ll be thrilled too.”

As she walked away, Nicole glanced between the two of us and giggled. “What… just happened?”

I laughed. “Apparently, I just got a part time job. Hey, can you give us a ride home? It was fun playing Belle for a couple of hours, but these shoes don’t fit quite right. My feet are killing me.”

She giggled at that, and nodded. “Yeah, I’m ready to get out of this dress and into something black. And no, that’s not a hint at what my costume is!” she chided, as we left the cafeteria. Thankfully someone else had the foresight to bring paper plates, so clean-up was basically ‘put the recyclables in the right bin’.

With a little convincing along the way we managed to get Nicole to join us at Allison’s for a few hours to unwind before the party. Guests wouldn’t start arriving until after dark anyway; anyone who decided to ‘crash early’ would be swiftly introduced to Bruno, the Morgans’ private security guy that they hired specifically to ensure the evening went without a hitch. I guess having a big-name band play a private party on private property required some extra security, but it would so be worth it!

“See you soon cutie,” Nicole whispered just before she gave me one last parting kiss. I giggled as I watched her head up the stairs. We had cleverly hidden our costumes in Kelly’s room, and after waiting the requisite minute or so to be sure she had left, we dove over the sofa and raced upstairs to start changing.

“This is so cool,” Jennifer giggled. “I know I never was all that into comics like you two, but when Margie asked me to model for the new Volcaness, how could I say no?”

Allison laughed, “Oh I know. I love the Coronal Rose costume she helped me design. I think Robin’s is the best though. Have you seen it yet?”

Jennifer shook her head. “Not yet. I’ve seen the preliminary sketches though,” she added, as we reached Kelly’s bedroom. Allison pushed the door open and stepped inside to retrieve our duffle bags while we waited in the hall.

“It’s great. I did all the leatherworking myself, but Margie called in a professional to do the heavier pieces.”

“Wow. How did she pull that off?”

Allison appeared, holding out a white duffle bag to me and a red one to Jennifer, with a green one slung over her shoulder. “Apparently they were working on another project together, so she asked if he’d help with Aria Blade too.”

I slipped into the bathroom to change, but only into the leather armor portion. I was really quite proud of the work I’d done on it too. The chest piece and leggings were matched dark purple and white alternating, and despite being really lightweight, thin material, held just enough stiffness to them to look like they’d provide some protection.

When I returned, Jennifer and Allison had already changed, since their costumes required the least work to get into (since both their comic book analogues relied more on deterring an opponent from getting too close). They both giggled when I stepped inside.

“Wow, that’s amazing,” Jennifer gasped. She stood and started pacing around me, inspecting it. “And this is JUST the first part?”

“Yeah. Stabbing myself all those times in that leather tooling class really paid off.”

Allison laughed as she reached into my duffle bag, pulling out the chest piece, a well-crafted roughed PVC piece in white and gold, along with a matched, plated battle skirt, holding them out. “Come on, ‘Aria Blade’, let’s see the full outfit!”

With Jennifer and Allison’s help, as there was no way I could get into the full ensemble alone, Aria Blade stood proudly in the middle of Allison’s bedroom a few minutes later, armored from neck to toe, a winged white ‘headband’ adorning her blonde hair, and a purple mask carefully guarding her features.

Admittedly I felt more than a little overdressed, but these were Margie’s specifications for the battle pieces for Aria’s new look. I couldn’t help picturing Nicole’s head poking out of Raven Wing’s new armor. I’d ask her tonight to model for the once-Villainess’ posters. I wanted to ask her sooner, but didn’t want to spoil the big surprise she’d been planning for us either.

Not surprisingly, quite a few vehicles were already either parked or in the process of being directed to where they could park. This party was going to be huge. A rather large man with broad shoulders and dark sunglasses, wearing a black t-shirt and faded jeans stood at the gates. Kelly had just dropped us off so the three of us walked up the sidewalk. He held up his hand for us to stop, ignoring the car he’d just flagged down to approach us. “You three, names. Now.”

“Uh, Robin, Jen and Ally?”

He raised his sunglasses, staring intently at us. “You don’t match the descriptions. You’re the right height, wrong hair color.”

Allison giggled as she raised the red-haired wig she wore, and I my blonde mane. “We’re superheroes; of course we’re hiding our secret identities!” she teased. I just knew he was going to deck us for that, but surprisingly, he let out a deep belly laugh.

“Okay, go on in. Ms. Morgan’s expecting you.”

“Thanks!” we chimed in unison, heading on up the long, winding driveway together. The trees that flanked it on either side had already turned, some of the fall foliage scattered across the otherwise perfectly manicured lawn. The front of the Morgans’ house remained mostly as we remembered it, save for the twin Jack-O-Lanterns perched atop the pair of bronze lion statues that proudly guarded the front door.

The door itself, a gorgeous, hand-carved wood of some dark red varnish or other always felt so imposing, though somehow the lions getting stuck with Jack-O-Lantern duty made it seem more welcoming and less ‘scary people live here’. We stepped in through the foyer, ignoring the sign that declared to take the garden path around the back. A second man of about the same height and relative bouncer type build turned to face us. He took one look at us and grinned. “Ms. Morgan’s special guests, right?”

I nodded this time. “That’s right. How’d you know?”

He laughed, “She warned me you’d probably be the only ones brave enough to ignore the sign after meeting Bruno down at the gates.”

“Yeeee-ah, that guy was scary!” Jennifer added with a giggle.

“Naw, he’s only scary if you make him mad. I once saw him toss a dude like a Frisbee. Anyway, you can go on in. Band’s gettin’ ready upstairs, but the party’s already in full swing out back.”

“Awesome,” Allison answered, as we continued across the marble foyer.

There were days when I wished I had a map of the Morgans’ house. As many times as I’d visited, I still found myself getting lost so easily in the long halls and large sitting areas. When Nicole told me over dinner on our first date that her parents ‘were loaded’, I never dreamed she meant ‘We live in a mansion’. Apparently it used to embarrass her that her parents were so well off. You wouldn’t know it by just talking to them. They didn’t do their shopping in Europe or ride around in a limo, although they did have that awesome private jet on call.

“Man, this place looks amazing,” I heard someone comment off to the side. I turned in time to see a pretty, tall cheerleader with long red hair, and … a camera? “Trina?” I asked. She spun around to see who called her name.

“… Robin?!” she gasped. “NICE costume!”

“Thanks. It’s the new Aria Blade. You look so cute!”

She blushed, even as she raised her camera. “Thank you. Hey, normally I don’t do candid shots, but if you three could strike a heroic pose I think it’d be awesome. Smile!”

We posed for a couple of pictures, then disappeared off into the crowd to mingle and dance. I followed Trina back to where Laura, dressed as some sort of really attractive lady devil, stood off to one side, sipping a glass of punch with Mark.

Mark’s zombie makeup looked so authentic I’d have sworn he just crawled out of the grave. We giggled and chatted for a few minutes as I tried to downplay how I could possibly know what the new Aria Blade would look like, when I suddenly realized I hadn’t seen Nicole yet.

“Has anyone seen Nikki?” I asked. Before anyone could answer though, I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around, coming face to face with someone who, at least superficially, kind of resembled Nicole, except that she was dressed as Raven Wing — that is, the version Margie had been using for her past comics, minus the wings of course. Like Aria Blade, Raven Wing would be getting some new armor next issue.

Mark shouted, “Hey check this out! Aria Blade and Raven Wing! This party is AWESOME!”

‘Raven Wing’ didn’t say anything. She simply grinned, grabbed me by the hand, and pulled me to the makeshift dance floor. I followed, trying to get into the swing of things, but for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why she wouldn’t talk to me.

“Nikki is everything okay?”

She grinned again, nodding a long, but emphatic nod.

“So… Why won’t you say something?”

She patted her throat gently.

“Oh… You lost your voice?”

She nodded quickly.

“Oh jeeze, I’m sorry. Listen, my mom’s got a great home remedy for sore throat. I’ll-”

Before I could continue, the music abruptly stopped, and a loud, piercing howl shot across the PA system. ‘Raven Wing’ grinned as she took my hand, pulling me closer to the stage. As if on cue, a brilliant flash and a loud explosion foreshadowed the appearance of Scarlet, Demona, and Solace. Shadow seemed mysteriously absent again. Scarlet scowled.

“NOW where is that girl. SHADOW!” she bellowed, glancing across the gathered collective student body. She stopped abruptly as her gaze settled on us, and she grinned. “Ah, what have we here? Raven Wing, is it not?”

Raven Wing nodded emphatically, but a second explosion caught us both, as well as Scarlet, Demona and Solace by surprise and ANOTHER Raven Wing, this one dressed in the full body armor that I had only until now seen in sketches stepped forward.

Her eyes widened as she stared down off the stage at us. “Aria Blade?! What are you doing here?!” I knew that voice. THAT was Nicole! But who was… I turned to stare at the fake Raven Wing, who simply grinned back at me.

I turned back to the ‘real’ Nicole onstage. “I came to see you, Raven!” The show must go on, even if we were both just making it up as we went along at this point.

She smiled fondly. “That’s so sweet, but that doesn’t explain HER!” she pointed at the imposter, who finally giggled, a dark, Shadowfang-like giggle as she ascended onto the stage.

“Yes, it’s true, I am not your precious Raven Wing, little hero. I am the darkness that lurks in mortal souls. I am that which goes bump in the night.” With a third flash, the lights dropped. By the time they came back up again, Shadow, clad in her normal ‘Mummy wraps’ costume stood before us, holding her new casket bass guitar in-hand.

“I am Shadowfang,” she paused, staring Nicole in the eye with a creepy smile. “And I believe you owe your girlfriend a dance.” She turned back to the others with a nod. “Hit it, Solace!”

At her cue, Nicole leapt off the stage and into my waiting arms. I couldn’t help myself, and kissed her. “Nikki, this is amazing!”

She giggled. “Isn’t it? But holy crap, you look awesome! How did you… Margie. That little sneak!” she laughed.

“’Volcaness’ and ‘Rose’ are here too … somewhere.”

“Right here,” Allison giggled as she and Jennifer rushed over to catch us both in a group hug. “Nikki, this is SO cool.”

Nicole laughed as Mark, Laura and Trina came over to join us. “The original plan was to have an epic battle between the ‘good’ Raven — me, and Shadow as the ‘evil’ Raven, but when we found out ‘Aria Blade’ was here, we made some quick last-minute adjustments. I hope you don’t mind?”

“Not at all! That was so much fun! I’ve told you before, I really enjoy this kind of thing.”

Mark added, while Trina took another picture of us chatting more naturally, “You’d be great at improv Robin. It’s all about spur-of-the-moment responses like that. I seriously thought you guys planned all of this.”

“Oh, you guys know Jen and Ally right?”

Mark offered Allison his hand first, smiling down at her. “Nice to finally put a face to a name.”

Allison blushed, giggling a little. “You too. So, um… want to dance?”

He grinned, offering his hand. “Don’t worry, I won’t rot all over you or anything,” he teased. God, that was a terrible joke, but Allison still giggled. As we watched them walk away, Nicole laughed.

“Oh. My. Gawd. Ally and Mark? I never saw THAT one coming.”

Laura and Trina giggled, the former adding, “Oh, I dunno. Opposites attract, or something. Anyway, Trina, I believe you owe me a dance for your ‘cousin’.” She grinned.

Later in the evening, while the band were taking a ten minute break to catch their breaths, Nicole and I wandered into the large dining hall she colorfully liked to refer to as the ‘ballroom’ for some punch. She offered me the first glass, pouring one for herself a moment later. “I can’t believe how well things have gone so far,” she sighed dreamily.

“Probably has to do with all this extra security. That Bruno guy’s built like a linebacker,” I joked.

Nicole giggled, taking my hand and leading me back out, where we sat on the stairs leading up to the stage together. “There’s just one more set. Shadow had so much fun with our little bassist-battle thing last time though, that they’ve asked if I’ll do it ag-” she suddenly paused, staring up. I turned to look at who she was staring at, to see Bruno, the head security guy, frowning down at us.

“Excuse me, Ms. Morgan; I need a word with you. It’s important.”

“What’s up big guy?” she asked rather candidly. He glanced at me, then back at her. “Hey, whatever it is you can say it in front of Robin too.”

He reluctantly sighed. “I just received a phone call from Mrs. Morgan. It’s about your father. He’s … in the hospital.”

“What?! What happened?!” she abruptly leapt to her feet, and with the added height from having already been sitting on the stage stairs, she was almost able to look him in the eye.

“She told me to tell you that he’s ‘okay’, but that the doctors believe he’s had a mild heart attack. I’ve been instructed to tell you to go ahead and finish your party, but-”

“Like hell! I’m going to see him right now!” she shot back, running inside and right past the band. Shadow approached me, offering her hand. As she pulled me up, she asked, concerned.

“What was that about?”

“Nikki’s dad… He had a mild heart attack.”

She frowned at me. “So what are you still doing here? Go after her. We’ll handle the crowd if anybody asks.” She leaned forward to hug me lightly. “Go on, go.”

“Thanks Shadow,” I offered and turned to run after Nicole. She had just started back our way. Bruno followed me inside, smiling at her.

“Forget something?” he asked candidly, this time.

“Directions,” Nicole grumbled.

“That doesn’t hurt. You should’ve let me finish. I was about to say, ‘but if you want to go see him, I’ll have one of my guys take you’. I may look like a New York bouncer, but I DO have a heart. Just wait out front for a black mini-van.”

Nicole turned to me as he left, shaking her head. “Robin… You don’t have to come. I don’t want your first Halloween here ruined just because of me.”

“Nikki, this is your dad we’re talking about. It’s not ‘ruined’. This is the most fun on Halloween I’ve had in my entire life,” I told her, even as I grabbed her hand, dragging her along as best I could remember toward the front door. “This Halloween would’ve been better than all the ones I’ve had before now if we’d stayed home and watched scary movies because I’d be spending it with you.”

She smiled a little, squeezing my hand tightly. We found Allison and Jennifer waiting for us out front, and a few minutes later, we climbed into the back of the mini-van. As we pulled away, I couldn’t help thinking about the night I got that 9-1-1 call back in June, when all this began for me.

I knew how much I needed a friend that night, and had only Kelly, an almost complete stranger to turn to. Nicole had the three of us, even if we did look a little silly at the moment. I removed my mask and wrapped my arms around Nicole, holding her close as we sped toward the hospital.

~* Have a Heart *~ “Hold on! Wait for me!” she begged. I couldn’t help myself. I mean, she was begging! I reached a gloved hand out to push the elevator door, forcing it to stall and re-open for her. She smiled as she squeezed inside. She seemed to be heading to the third floor as well because she gave the button a cursory glance then turned to us. “Almost didn’t make it. Thanks for waiting.” “You’re welcome,” I offered with a polite smile. “Aria Blade, right? I have a patient who talks about her non-stop, and about the ‘awesome new armor next issue’.” She chuckled wryly as she leaned against the back wall. “Yeah. We know the artist. It was supposed to be a big Halloween surprise, but…” I trailed off. She frowned, giving us a quizzical stare. Nicole sighed as the doors opened. “My dad...” was all she could get out.

---

The black, tinted-windowed mini-van had only barely rolled to a stop at the drop-off outside the hospital before the side-doors flew open, expelling four teen-aged heroes out in front. A passing nurse, still in dusty rose-ish pink scrubs stopped to watch the spectacle as the four of us rushed inside, and I’d swear I thought I heard her giggle under her breath.

We had more important things on our minds to notice, though. While our driver, an off-duty police officer judging by his brief conversation with Allison on the way in, found a more permanent parking spot, we approached the front desk. An older woman whose soft, brown hair had only just begun to silver here and there looked up at us over the rim of her titanium-rim glasses. She looked like she wanted to make a kryptonite joke, and who could blame her? Instead she leaned forward slightly and removed her glasses.

“Can I help you girls?”

As I wrapped Nicole in a hug, I could feel her trembling. She buried herself in my shoulder as Allison stepped forward. “We’re here to see Bob Morgan. He was brought in earlier with a mild heart attack?”

“Oh! Yes of course!” she perked right up and smiled. “Are you friends or family?”

“Family,” I responded immediately. The Morgans had accepted me with open arms. I wasn’t about to let any hospital staff tell us we couldn’t go see the big guy. She nodded at that, turning to her computer for just a moment to type something.

“It looks like he’s in room 305. Visiting hours are over, but I’m sure the head nurse will make an exception this time.” She paused and looked us over briefly, offering a sympathetic smile.

“Thanks,” Jennifer added, even as Allison and I led Nicole to the nearest elevator. I still remembered my first time in this hospital, not a day after arriving in Alpine Springs. I pushed those thoughts from my mind though, as Jennifer pressed ‘3’. The doors started to close, but the nurse we’d seen outside came SPRINTING out of nowhere.

“Hold on! Wait for me!” she begged. I couldn’t help myself. I mean, she was begging! I reached a gloved hand out to push the elevator door, forcing it to stall and re-open for her. She smiled as she squeezed inside. She seemed to be heading to the third floor as well because she gave the button a cursory glance then turned to us. “Almost didn’t make it. Thanks for waiting.”

“You’re welcome,” I offered with a polite smile.

“Aria Blade, right? I have a patient who talks about her non-stop, and about the ‘awesome new armor next issue’.” She chuckled wryly as she leaned against the back wall.

“Yeah. We know the artist. It was supposed to be a big Halloween surprise, but…” I trailed off. She frowned, giving us a quizzical stare.

Nicole sighed as the doors opened. “My dad...” was all she could get out.

“Oh no. Listen, you go see your dad. I’ll talk to my super and clear you girls, okay?”

Nicole smiled weakly as she nodded. She released her grip on my waist only long enough to hug the nurse, just as quickly latching onto me again. I flashed the nurse a warm smile as we parted ways, making our way down the hall. Though we received vastly fewer stares in the quiet hall than we did entering the lobby, it still felt odd being in a public place like this, dressed like my favorite superhero. At least the skirt left plenty to the imagination, even without the leggings. Banshee was such a prude.

I tried not to giggle, which would have been so horribly inappropriate, at my own wandering thoughts, focusing on trying to be strong for Nicole as we reached 305. We stopped just outside, Nicole only now realizing she still had her mask on. She laughed quietly as she rolled her eyes, peeling it off and offering it to Allison.

“Can you hold this for me?” she asked softly. Allison smiled as she took the mask from her friend, nodding quickly.

I gently pushed the door open, leading Nicole inside. I’ll admit I’ve never seen someone after they’d had a heart attack even if it was a mild one, so I had no idea what to expect. We found Nicole’s dad relaxing in bed in a hospital gown, under a light white blanket, watching a football game on the little television. Gina was nowhere in sight, though her Prada handbag sitting neatly on a nearby chair gave away that she would return soon.

Bob, on seeing us, quickly shut the television off, smiling as we approached. “Well hi there girls,” he remarked cheerfully, as though nothing were wrong. I let Nicole go and watched as she rushed over, wrapping her arms around him.

“Hi there?!” she laughed and sobbed at the same time. “You big goof! You had me so scared! Is everything- I mean, are you okay?!”

He smiled as he wrapped her in a hug, at least as best his IV would allow. He ran his hand over her hair as he whispered, “Shh, it’s okay.”

Gina stepped into the room holding a styrofoam cup of steaming, black coffee. Still dressed in an elegant black evening gown, it seemed they’d gone out for the evening to give us some space for the party. She set the cup down on a nearby hospital tray as she stepped closer, resting her hand on Nicole’s shoulder.

“Sweetheart, you could have stayed with your party. Dad’s going to be okay.”

Nicole tearfully glanced back at Gina, reluctantly releasing her father only to wrap her in a hug next. “No we couldn’t. I couldn’t. There was no way I could stay there until I saw for myself.”

Bob chuckled quietly, squeezing Nicole’s hand. “Thank you. It means the world to me that you’d give up your party to be here. That goes for the rest of you too.” He smiled at us, motioning for us to come closer. Jennifer giggled a little.

“When we saw Nikki and Robin run off we knew something was up. Besides, the party was a blast, but there’ll be other parties. We figured she needed us as much as she needed to see you.”

“Actually, before you came in we were just discussing you four,” Gina added with a knowing smile, turning to return to her uncomfortable-looking hospital chair. She leaned back, delicately crossing her legs before continuing. “Bob’s doctor said he’s going to make a full recovery, but the man has a love affair with salt.”

Bob gave a sheepish smile at that. “What can I say? Stress wasn’t the only factor in my first heart attack. I got lucky this time though, and I want to get serious about my diet. I can’t do it alone, so I’ve asked Gina to help me stay on track.”

Nicole grinned that shark-like, impish ‘up to something’ grin, turning her gaze, and her grin on me. Uh oh. I thought two sisters plotting against you was trouble, but apparently mother and daughter excelled at this too. “Y’know… Robin is an AMAZING cook. I bet she knows a few low-fat no-salt recipes. You’d never even miss the salt.”

I blushed a little. “Well, I’m sure I could figure something-” I started, but paused when someone knocked at the door to the hospital room.

The red-haired nurse from before peeked around the corner with a wry smile. “I’m not interrupting anything am I?”

Bob smiled as he shook his head. “Not at all. Just please tell me you haven’t come for another blood sample.”

“Bob!” Gina scolded.

He laughed. “What? That other nurse was Hell-bent on making me bleed.”

The nurse giggled quietly. “No, nothing like that. I was actually hoping I could ask your visitors for a really big favor.”

At this point the four of us turned to her, and I asked, “What kind of favor?”

“Well, I told you before about the Aria Blade fan. She’s sick with pneumonia, and really depressed that she can’t go trick-or-treating with her friends this year. We took up a small collection of candy for all our kids, but I think it would mean the world to her to have Aria Blade deliver hers. I understand if you don’t want to do it, but-”

“I’d love to,” I answered, before she could even finish. Her bright smile lifted my spirits. Nicole bent down to hug her dad again then stepped closer.

“Hey, don’t forget Raven Wing!” she laughed, wrapping me in a playful hug from the side.

Allison and Jennifer looked at each other, grinned, and tied their masks into place, passing Nicole’s and mine to us, and we followed the nurse out of the room. She led us down the hall to the nurse’s station where a heavy-set woman with bobbed blonde hair sat typing away at a terminal. As the nurse led us closer, the other woman glanced up at us. She looked positively exhausted, with heavy bags under her eyes, but even so she managed a professional smile.

“We’ve gotta get some more help on night shift,” the woman grumbled, turning in her chair to reach under the counter. As she came back up with a large, bright orange plastic pumpkin full of candy, the red-haired nurse chuckled dryly. “Yeah, right. Good luck convincing an RN to move here.”

“Actually, I know two RNs with ER experience. I don’t know if either of them would want to get back into this kind of work though,” I offered. I knew Mom kind of missed working in a hospital setting instead of the local clinic, but I didn’t know if she’d want to go back to long night shifts again, and I had no idea where Kelly stood.

The woman’s eyes lit up at that. “Night shift’s actually pretty quiet. We could even take some people off day shift that have wanted to work graveyard, if we could get some day shift people in here. Tell you what; just have them call downstairs if they’re interested; whatever position they want, we’ll find a way to make it work. Sound okay?”

I nodded quickly, the other nurse taking the pumpkin-shaped candy receptacle and passing it to me. She grinned as we turned to walk away. “You really are a superhero if you can get us some relief. More and more nurses are leaving for private practices or bigger hospitals in New Haven or Hartford.”

“My mom used to work at Mercy Medical in San Francisco. One of the big reasons she agreed to move out here with my half-sister is because she was getting burned out on big city life, then when she had her car accident, she had to take it easy for several months, but she’s been talking about kind of missing working at a hospital — she just doesn’t want to work ER again anytime soon.”

The nurse chuckled quietly as she stopped outside a hospital room. “I don’t blame her. I just didn’t have the stomach for it. Alright, this is Cristina’s room. I’m just going to go in and see if she’s awake first.”

Nicole giggled a little as she leaned into me, resting her head on my shoulder. “Robin this is so sweet. Kind of makes me feel a little better about tonight. I mean, sure, my dad’s in the hospital, but at least something good can come from it, right?”

I gave her a light squeeze as Jennifer giggled. “Nikki, you’ve been hanging around Robin too long.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” she shot back playfully.

“I never said it was,” she chided. Before the playful banter could continue, the nurse opened the door wide, motioning for us to come inside. A little girl of maybe nine or ten lay slightly elevated in the hospital bed with tubes and monitors running here and there, an old stuffed teddy bear clutched tightly to her chest. An adorable porcelain doll in a purple Victorian gown, as well as a number of vases, stuffed animals, and other ‘Get Well Soon’ gifts weighed down the hardwood table by her bed.

I wanted to cry for her, being trapped in this hospital room like this, but I had to smile when, as she slowly rolled over, red ringlets shifting against her pillow, her jade green eyes widened. “Oh my Gosh,” she whispered almost breathlessly as the four of us approached her.

“Cristina, right?”

She nodded quickly. I giggled a little as I held up the bucket. “Since you’re stuck in here, the nurses asked us to deliver this to you.” I offered her the bucket of candy, but she ignored it, sitting up to wrap her arms around me instead, crying softly.

“Thank you so much,” she whispered. “This is so cool!” she giggled, coughing lightly as she laid back again, accepting her bucket-o-sweets.

I smiled as I squeezed her hand, Nicole, Jennifer and Allison stepping closer. Nicole added, “Happy Halloween.”

The girl’s eyes widened even further. “Raven Wing too?! Wow!”

“And this is Coronal Rose, and the new Volcaness too,” she replied, motioning to the other two. Jennifer and Allison walked around the other side, each respectively giving the girl a reassuring hug. ‘Volcaness’ grinned.

“I know you don’t recognize me like this, but it’ll all make sense in the next issue.”

“Really?! This is so great! I love your costumes, but … what are you guys doing here? And please don’t tell me you came all the way from New Heathridge City just to see me.” She grinned matter-of-factly.

“Okay, you got us,” Nicole replied. “We’re…”

“We’re here to root out a vampire hiding in the morgue,” I nodded seriously.

“… What? Really?” she cringed slightly. I responded in my most heroic ‘Aria Blade’ voice.

“Yes, but you’re safe. We’ve hung garlic outside the door to the morgue to keep him from escaping and hurting anyone until Psychic Strike can get here to do her banishment thing, like the one she used against Raven Wing’s father.”

“Cool!” she responded excitedly. I hadn’t noticed that the red-haired nurse had left, until she returned with a small point-and-shoot digital camera. She held it up with a smile.

“Smile, girls!” she called, causing us all to look up. Allison and I, being closest to the head of Cristina’s bed, leaned down to hug her, with Nicole and Jennifer kneeling and smiling for the next couple of pictures that followed.

“Now people will HAVE to believe I met you guys!” she giggled.

“You should try and get some sleep, sweetie,” the nurse spoke as she stepped closer to check the girl’s IV. “By the time you wake up I’ll have your picture printed. Maybe Aria Blade and her friends can even sign it for you.”

“Would you?!” she asked excitedly, again causing her to cough. I frowned, instinctively squeezing her hand.

“Of course, sweetie,” I responded with a warm smile. She smiled broadly, but yawned, nestling back into her bed again. After the nurse turned out the light, she led us out into the hallway, where she paused, pulled the door closed, then turned back to us.

“I really can’t thank you girls enough for this.”

I smiled a little, unable to shake the uneasy feeling her coughing left me with. “We’re happy to help. My heart just goes out to her though. Is she going to be okay?”

“She’s actually a lot better now than when they first brought her in. It just progressed so quickly… She’s reacting well to the medication though, so she should be able to go home as early as next week.”

“That’s a relief. Oh, do you want us to come by again to sign that picture?”

“That won’t be necessary, actually. I can print it off right here at the hospital. I keep a private stash of photo paper on-hand for days like this.” She grinned warmly. “It won’t be a minute, if you want to wait in Mr. Morgan’s room while I take care of it.”

When we stepped back into Nicole’s dad’s room, both Bob and Gina smiled at us, the latter standing to wrap us in a big group hug. “That was very sweet, girls.”

Allison laughed. “You don’t know the half of it. That little girl would’ve seen right through us if not for Robin’s quick thinking.”

Jennifer nodded, continuing, “That was some fast thinking. Oh, if anyone asks, Aria Blade and crew are officially here to fight a vampire in the morgue.”

Bob and Gina looked at each other, then at me. I smiled sheepishly. “I know, I know, but she just looked so helpless, and having ‘Aria Blade’ here to cheer her up, I couldn’t just dash her hopes and tell her we just came from a Halloween party.”

“Speaking of which, we just received a call from Bruno, relaying a message from Shadowfang. She said that if you felt up to returning, that several of your friends from school were waiting to see you play with the band again.”

Bob added, “Really, I’m okay. You should get back to your party and have fun tonight.”

Nicole glanced between us and her parents, biting her lip. “… Are you sure?”

They nodded in unison. She sighed reluctantly, stepping closer to hug him. “Alright, but don’t you DARE eat anything salty while I’m gone!” she chided, kissing his cheek.

After meeting up with the nurse at the nurse’s station, and autographing the picture for Cristina, we took the elevator down to the lobby, to even more strange stares. It was only at this point that the thought of transportation occurred to us.

“Uh… How are we going to even get back to the party?” Jennifer asked. Scott, our off-duty cop, security guard, and chauffer cleared his throat.

“Ask nicely?” He smiled. “Bruno called and told me you might need a ride back, so I stuck around. How’s your dad?” he asked, turning his attention to Nicole.

She smiled brightly. “He needs to lay off the salt and other high cholesterol stuff, like the doctor told him last time, but he’s actually gonna listen this time.”

“Glad to hear it. Now, I believe we have a party to get to, and don’t worry. I won’t drive so fast this time,” he teased as we walked out to the parking lot together. For a cop, he was a really nice guy. I liked Jane Garrett too, enough to officially change my middle name to Jane when I got the elusive ‘F’ on my birth certificate, but she always seemed so formal.

Back at the party, the band was right in the middle of a new song when we arrived. Shadow practically grinned a broad, fangy smile as she caught sight of us, even as Trina, Mark and Laura came running.

“There you are! What happened?” Laura asked frantically.

“It’s my dad,” Nicole responded. “He’s going to be okay, but he had a mild heart attack. I just couldn’t stay knowing he was in the hospital, so I got one of the security guys to drive us.”

Jennifer giggled, “We would’ve been back sooner, but there was an adorable little girl in need of a hero.”

“Four heroes,” Allison continued. “Poor kid was stuck in the hospital on Halloween, THE second greatest night of the year, so one of the nurses asked us to cheer her up.”

“That’s so cool. Oh, we met some friends of yours.” Trina responded, pointing toward a pair of girls about our age. One wore a solid black outfit vaguely reminiscent of my Kenpo gi and a matched headband, while the other wore a puffy poet’s shirt and tight pants, with knee-high black boots that folded over at the top. The plastic cutlass at her side swayed as they both rushed over and wrapped me in a hug, and in the better light where we were standing, I could make out their faces clearly.

“Nat! Rach! You made it!”

“Told you we would!” Rachel giggled. “Sorry we’re a little late though. My car broke down about a mile outside town so we had to wait for someone to come look at it. Luckily it wasn’t serious, but I’m still taking it to the shop on Monday.”

Nicole, wrapping Rachel and Natalie in a collective hug, responded dryly. “I’ll look at it for free.” Rachel and Natalie stared at Nicole in surprise, causing her to giggle. “What? Don’t look at me like that. I love cars, engines and stuff.”

Before she could continue, the music ended, and Scarlet spoke, catching our collective attention.

“Ahh, it appears Raven Wing has returned. So tell me, shadow-caster, care to match wits with the likes of a true Mistress of darkness?”

Nicole turned and gave me a quick kiss on my cheek. She rushed up onto the stage, striking a defiant pose. “But of course, Scarlet, dear. Name the terms and conditions for battle.”

Shadow hissed, “Four strings, spun from Hell-forged metal.” She pointed to a point on the stage where the fog had only just begun to recede, revealing Shadowfang’s old bat wing bass, Nicole’s prized possession. Nicole picked up her bass, draping the strap over her shoulder.

“Let’s see what you’ve got, Shadow-babe,” she chided, causing Shadowfang to scowl. Rather than starting off with an easy riff like last time, they dove right into the hard stuff. By hard stuff, I mean watching them made MY fingers hurt. I couldn’t help cheering with the crowd though, and before long chants of ‘Raven! Raven!’ had begun to grow.

The back-and-forth continued for a full minute before Solace kicked up a solid drum beat and Demona started to strum, and the band-plus-one were soon in the middle of the finest example of rock opera that I’d ever heard. Granted my exposure was limited, but I knew what I liked, and I loved this!

When the song ended, Scarlet flung her hand downward, sending a localized blast of fire at her feet. At the same time the lights fell. When the rose again, a mere few seconds later, all four band members had disappeared, and Nicole now sat cross-legged on the edge of the stage, lazily smiling at me. I approached and wrapped her in a hug as she giggled. She picked up the cordless microphone left lying on the stage's edge.

“Alright! Thanks for coming out everyone. I hope you had a great time, but it’s time to start wrapping it up. You don’t have to go home, but if you stay here, you get to meet Bruno — and to clear up any confusion, Bruno’s the ex-pro wrestler-looking dude you met at the gate.” She grinned. “Oh, you guys can stay if you want,” she added after turning off the microphone, as Trina, Laura, and Mark approached. They each hugged her in turn, Trina responding.

“Thanks, but Laura’s giving me a ride home, and we need to beat my parents home, otherwise it’s going to be a long night.”

Mark smiled, “Yeah, ditto. I’ve gotta be up early or I’d stay and hang out.” He paused, smiling at me. “Oh, uh… is you guys’ friend Allison seeing anyone?”

Nicole and I giggled as she responded, “Technically her parents don’t want her dating until she’s sixteen, but… well, since we all are, and we’re all like, inseparable, he might make an exception if I vouched for ya.”

“Really? Awesome!” he smiled a big, goofy smile as he turned to leave. Allison, as it turns out, had been standing right behind him, now blushing furiously, which caused us to giggle even more.

“Oh my God, you did not just offer to set me up with Mark?”

“You don’t like him?” Nicole asked innocently. Natalie giggled.

She blushed more intensely, lowering her voice. “Yes I like him. He’s really sweet, and he really knows how to sweep a girl off her feet, but… I’ve never dated anyone before!”

“Gotta take the plunge some time,” Jennifer offered as she approached, wrapping Alison in a hug. “Don’t worry, we won’t let you drown. Hey! Natalie, Rachel!” she exclaimed in surprise, as another round of hugs were exchanged.

Allison meanwhile smiled at Jennifer’s sentiment, nodding uneasily. “Thanks guys. Hey Nikki? Do you want to come stay at my house tonight?”

Nicole nodded. “Sure. Just let me call my mom and let her know. I dunno if she’s going to stay up there with dad or what, but I can’t help feeling safer at your place tonight than in this big old house alone.”

Jennifer and I grinned at each other, cheering in unison. “Sleepover!”

Allison laughed. “I kinda figured you guys would want to stay over. I already asked my parents this morning, although they might change their mind now that you’re trying to set me up on a date,” she teased. “What about you guys? Rachel? Nat?”

Rachel and Natalie looked at each other, Rachel responding. “I wish we could, but we didn’t bring any extra clothes or anything. We can stay and hang out for awhile though. Natalie’s riding with me, but we both got permission to stay out late.”

We followed Nicole inside, where she led us to the oak L-shaped staircase where one of the security people stood. He quickly stepped aside on seeing her though, causing her to giggle a little. “Party’s winding down, but Daddy’ll pay you guys overtime if you’ll keep an eye on things for another hour or so. I’m going over to my friend’s house for the night, so I’ll set the alarm before I leave.”

“Yes ma’am,” he replied, adding, “We’re making a sweep of the house to be sure no one snuck in, but as far as I know it’s just yourselves and the band upstairs.”

“Awesome,” she responded without missing a beat, turning to lead us upstairs. We followed her down a long hallway, and after she rounded the first corner, she stopped, pointing at the closed door. “That’s where we set the band up with their own private green room. You guys can hang out with them while I finish getting everything in order here if you want.”

I smiled and gave her a warm hug before turning to knock on the door. Demona eased it open just a crack, but on seeing us, flung the door open wide, motioning for us to come inside. “Thank God. I thought someone figured out where we were hiding!” she laughed as we followed her in. Allison giggled as she nudged the door closed behind her.

Despite spending a lot of time here over the past few months, I actually didn’t remember this room at all. The rich, dark paneling contrasted the blue wallpaper about halfway up the wall, and beautiful, very comfortable-looking matched furnishings of oak and fabric decorated the area. Shadowfang and Scarlet, still in their stage costumes, sat together drinking what looked from my vantage point to be some sort of red wine. They both turned and raised their glasses to us, Scarlet grinning.

“Girls, working with you and Nikki has been the most fun the four of us have had in awhile. If you’re ever in London-”

“Or Belfast!” Shadow interrupted with a giggle, clearly already feeling the effects of the wine.

Scarlet laughed, “Or Belfast, look us up. We’ll put something together. The fun of being an indie group is we can get away with shenanigans that would have a record exec tearing out his hair.”

A woman of about Solace’s height, but with long waves of reddish brown hair twisted into a tight French braid, dressed in baggy jeans and an oversized black t-shirt padded barefoot out of the attached half-bathroom. She stared at us like a deer in headlights, which caused Shadow and Scarlet to giggle.

“Um… Ladies, this is Natalie Poole and Rachel Kleiner. We were junior counselors at Girl Scout camp together last summer. Nat, Rachel, that’s Scarlet, Shadowfang, Demona Rose, and … I THINK that’s Solace,” I giggled, the drummer having by now regained some composure. She smiled wryly.

“Sorry,” she offered quietly. “Normally we try to keep our band personas and our ‘real’ selves secret, you know, to preserve the mystique, but I’ve been in costume for four hours straight, my feet hurt, and that wig was starting to itch fiercely.”

Rachel came out of her stupor first, offering Solace her hand with a warm smile. “It’s okay. We won’t tell anyone. I love you guys’ music. Your drumming is amazing.”

She giggled, turning to approach Scarlet and Shadow to join them in a glass of wine, as she sat on the smaller sofa across from them. “Thanks. Scarlet, Demona and I were in a punk band together before drama happened and we re-formed with Shadow. It helped a lot for keeping up with Demona’s love of crazy-fast solos.” She stuck her tongue out at the pink-haired one, eliciting a giggle from the three.

“Man, Robin, when you said Nikki was rich, you weren’t kidding,” Natalie finally spoke. “This house is amazing, the party was off the charts awesome, and now … we’re talking to freaking Heedless Despair.”

“Oh, money’s got nothing to do with our being here. We just like Nikki,” Demona offered almost playfully. “Girl’s got a lot of heart, but she’s had it pretty rough. Plus after her sweet sixteen, the way she gave Shadow a run for her money? We wanted to see just how good she was.”

Shadow glanced over her shoulder, raising her wine glass. “Don’t get us wrong. We’re not going to steal her away from you or anything, but if she ever comes looking for a letter of recommendation for college she’ll have our full endorsement.”

I didn’t even hear the door open behind me, so Nicole’s response made me jump just a little. “Seriously? You guys are the best!”

“Yes, seriously! Nikki, you’re good. A little rough, but good.”

“Wow… Thanks. That means so much coming from you guys. Oh, security’s making a final sweep of the place, but they’ll leave you alone. I set the alarm, but I’ve set you guys up a one-time use key so you can get out without triggering it. Just punch in 3180, but make sure you don’t forget anything or you’ll be stuck in here.”

Solace giggled. “Stuck in a beautiful house like this all night. That would be a right shame.” She grinned. “I take it you’re stepping out?”

She nodded. “We’re heading over to Ally’s for a sleepover. With my dad in the hospital, I just don’t feel right staying here. Mom’s going to come home to change clothes, then go back Hey, um… I know you guys probably don’t want to hang out with a bunch of high school kids all night, but you’re welcome to join us.”

Demona seemed genuinely disappointed as she replied, “Oh, I wish we could, but we have to be on a plane in three hours. We’re just waiting for the crowd to clear out so we can sneak out of here. Tell you what though, the next time we’re in Connecticut, I’ll personally make sure we have some time to just hang out and de-stress. You guys’ homecoming game was a blast.” She flashed me a broad grin.

“… That WAS you! I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner.”

She laughed. “Well, you never asked if we were the band, just if we were ‘with’ the band,” she teased.

Allison and I caught a ride with Rachel and Natalie back home, while Nicole gave Jennifer a lift back to her house so she could change clothes and get some things for the sleepover. I needed to get a fresh change of clothes myself, and let Mom and Margie know where I’d be, so I parted ways with my friends for the moment, heading into my house.

“There you are! How was the party?” Mom greeted me at the door. She must have heard Rachel’s car in the driveway next door. I smiled as I wrapped her in a hug.

“The party was great. Except … Well, Mr. Morgan’s in the hospital.”

“Oh no! What happened?”

“Well, it’s a long story. Can you help me out of my costume? I’ll explain everything while I change clothes.”

Mom followed me upstairs while I explained everything that had happened, both at the party and at the hospital. I didn’t really give a second thought to stripping down to my underwear in front of her. I mean, not only was she my mom, but she was a nurse too. There was absolutely NOTHING I could feel embarrassed about in front of her. I stepped into my closet, emerging a moment later in my favorite pink sweater, a pair of jeans in-hand.

“Scott, the off-duty cop gave us a ride back to the party where we met up with Rachel and Natalie, you know, the girls from camp? Anyway, we’re going to hang out at Allison’s for a few hours. Would it be okay if I sleep over tonight? I know we just had another sleepover, but Nikki really needs this.”

“I… suppose,” she sounded reluctant, so I stepped closer, wrapping her in a hug.

“Mom, what’s wrong?”

“I just keep thinking about what could have happened had that security person not been an off-duty policeman. You girls just accepted everything so easily…”

“The Morgans screened everyone they hired, but… You’re right. I wasn’t thinking.” I frowned. “I’m sorry Mom.”

She smiled as she kissed my forehead. “Just be careful. You’re my only daughter. I have to be overprotective sometimes.”

Hearing those words made my heart soar. Even all these months later, I still loved to hear the words ‘my daughter’. I hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek then grabbed my gym bag, stuffing my pajamas and an extra change of clothes inside.

We’d only have a precious couple of hours to catch up with Natalie and Rachel, and I didn’t want to miss a moment of it. We’d have to invite them along if we managed to push through a Girl Scout-sponsored ski trip this winter.

At least Nicole had never been skiing either, but the fact remained I was the only girl not acclimated to cold weather, let alone snow. I had to giggle a little at the idea though, as I rushed downstairs, heading next door to my ‘second home’.

~* After-Party Slumber Party *~ Nicole smiled as she turned to me. “Robin… Can I ask you a reeeeally big favor?” Her pleading stare melted my heart. I’d probably have cut off my right hand right then if she’d asked it of me. I nodded. “Sure, Nikki. What is it?” “Remember how Jen helped you with your bad dreams awhile ago? Well, I was wondering if… I mean…” she fumbled and started to blush. Jennifer cleared her throat. “Ally? Let’s go brush our teeth. Up. Stairs.” she nodded toward the stairs.

---

Author's Note:
I'm sorry for the length of this. It took me awhile just to get this far. You can see my latest blog entry for specifics, but I'm trying to get back into writing again. :-)

With love,
~ Zoe

---

The smell of fresh-baked cookies permeated the warm air that rushed past as I opened the front door to the Jones’ house. I could hear Rachel and Natalie giggling with Allison in the kitchen so I headed straight there, setting my bag down at the doorway.

Rachel and Natalie stood leaning against the counter facing Allison who had changed into loose sweats and a plain t-shirt, as they happily chewed fresh-baked pumpkin-shaped-and-colored cookies.

I grinned, bringing my finger to my lips as they took note of me, as Allison apparently hadn’t heard me come in. Taking their cue, Natalie smiled as I crept closer.

“Hey Ally, how’s school?”

“It’s going pretty-EEK!” she squealed as I lightly tickled her sides. She spun around to glare at me, but couldn’t seem to hold a straight face and started to laugh. She stuck her tongue out. “Help yourself to the cookies. Mom’s been busy.”

“Thanks,” I offered as I stepped over to the stovetop, where a large platter of pumpkin-shaped cookies lay waiting. “I thought your parents had a big Halloween party every year though. Wasn’t that the whole point of Nikki’s party?”

“Yeah, normally, but one of Daddy’s coworkers has a new condo so he offered to hold it there this year. Of course, Mom loved the idea of not having to clean up this year, but she didn’t tell Dad that.” She giggled. “Oh that reminds me, she stayed home for our annual trick-or-treaters, but we have some left over candy if you guys want some.”

Rachel giggled. “No thanks. I can just look at candy and gain ten pounds. I have to run a mile every morning just to keep my figure. Oh that reminds me, you guys are doing the walk-a-thon thing next week right?”

I nodded as I happily chewed one of the still-warm sweets. “Yeah, everything’s all set. I feel kind of shallow though. This whole thing came about as a means to help Mrs. Beaumont, but as an aside it gets Jason off my back.”

Natalie shook her head. “No way, Robin. That’s not being shallow. That’s being human. I mean, I had like, ten people spreading crap about you CITs, even while you were fighting to honor my best friend, remember? And look where that got you?”

I smiled a little as I stepped closer to hug her. “Thanks, Nat. I think I needed that.”

She smiled as she returned the hug, taking care not to drop her cookie in the process. “I can never repay you for what you’ve done to help me get over Crystal’s death. You don’t have to thank me.”

“Oh man, that smells good! Who’s been baking?” Jennifer called from the kitchen door. I turned in time to see both she and Nicole now dressed quite casually, a drastic change from our Halloween escapade earlier in the evening. Jennifer had a new white gym bag slung over her shoulder.

“Mom baked cookies. Help yourselves.” Allison grinned. Nicole rushed right past me to grab a couple, only returning to wrap me in a frigid hug, literally, after. She giggled.

“The wind really picked up. I’d be surprised if it doesn’t snow by next week. Hey, next girl scout meeting we’re going to bring up a ski trip for the troop since Robin’s never, y’know, actually seen snow.”

Natalie and Rachel both stared blankly at me, the latter adding, “You’ve… never seen snow.”

I shook my head. “Only on TV.”

“That’s like… never seeing a rainbow,” Natalie added with some minor disbelief. “You really are a Cali girl aren’t you?” She shot me a teasing smile, causing me to laugh.

“My heart is here in Alpine Springs, but my core body temperature is one-hundred percent California. Granted I spent all my time under the AC in summer before this last summer too. We’re not all French bikinis and tans,” I giggled. Nicole rested her head on my shoulder and smiled a little, reminding me, albeit unintentionally, about her dad.

“Hey, have you heard anything more from your mom?”

“Yeah. She called while we were at Jen’s house and said she’d probably stay at the hospital. The nurse said the doctor will check in on him tomorrow, but he might be able to come home as early as Wednesday. He’ll have to take it easy for awhile after that, but the medicine and diet change should help. Anyway,” she paused, grinning at Rachel and Natalie, “If you guys have time, Jen grabbed her copy of the Occupant Evil movie trilogy.”

“That’s the one based on the game with the weird camera angles isn’t it?”

Jennifer nodded, “Yeah. The lore-hounds hate it because the game’s main characters aren’t as prevalent, and Claire appears in the third one as a convoy leader, but as far as horror movies go, they’re pretty good.”

I never knew Jennifer was into video games. Granted, given the choice between spending money on a game or expanding my wardrobe, I tended to find more value in the latter, I’d sometimes find bargains on used games too though. The funny thing is I hadn’t even thought about any of that since Mom’s accident. I got so used to spending time with friends and enjoying being myself, not afraid to go out and do things.

“Sounds awesome,” Natalie responded. Rachel nodded.

“Ditto. I’ve seen parts of the first one, but that’s it. Plus we’ve got permission to stay out late just this once. Let me just call my step-mom and let her know what’s up.”

“Oh, good idea. I should call dad and let him know where I am and what we’re doing.”

As the two broke out their cell phones (Natalie’s a lovely ice blue, and Rachel’s a pre-paid model similar to my mirror-pink phone) Allison picked up the cookie platter, heading for the entertainment room’s stairs.

While Jennifer set up the first DVD, Allison pulled an end table from a corner of the room, dragging it along the carpet closer to the sofa, where she sat the cookies down.

“Hey, cool keyboard!” Rachel called from the stairs, Natalie following close behind her. I’d gotten so used to seeing it I completely forgot it was there until she mentioned it. Allison glanced over the back of the sofa with a smile.

“Yeah, it’s Kelly’s. She put it in storage when she went to college since she didn’t have room in the new dorm, but now that she’s living here again she decided to dust it off.”

“Wow. I didn’t know Kelly could play the piano,” I offered, helping myself to another cookie. I settled onto the floor in front of the sofa next to Nicole, who happily threw her arms around me and nuzzled into my shoulder.

“She started taking lessons when she started to transition. Her therapist said it’d be good for her to help her learn patience, plus Kelly says it made her feel a little more poised and ladylike.”

Rachel turned to stare at Allison. “Transition?”

Allison blinked. “Oh, that’s right. I never told you did I? Um… Kelly’s … like Robin. She was the same age as us when it all came out.”

Rachel and Natalie remained quiet for a few seconds as they contemplated that sudden revelation. Rachel finally shrugged and smiled. “Cool.”

Natalie added, “I’d never believe it. Then again when you guys told me about Robin, I didn’t believe that either.” She laughed as she sat beside me, playfully nudging my shoulder with hers. “You remind me of Crystal.”

I smiled as I wrapped her in a hug. “I’d like to visit her some day.”

“I can arrange that,” she responded with a smile. “I only live a couple of towns over, but since I can’t drive yet you’d have to come get me.”

Nicole grinned as Jennifer started the movie, stepping over me to sit cross-legged on the sofa behind us. “Mrs. Smith let me take Robin to New Haven for her appointment last Saturday, so I’m sure she’ll let me drive her.”

“Really?! God I’m jealous. Rachel’s the only person my folks will let me leave town with, and only on special occasions.”

Rachel lightly squeezed Natalie’s shoulder as she sat down beside Jennifer. “That’s what friends are for, babe,” she teased.

It didn’t take long for us to get completely lost in the movies. Jennifer was right that there weren’t many similarities between the movies and the games, but the gore and the zombie mayhem definitely made up for it, for us at least. Eventually though, I must have dozed off because I felt a familiar, gentle hand massaging my shoulder to rouse me. I stared from the hand up to a … zombie nurse?! I screamed, jumping back, right into the sofa. The girls exploded into giggles as the zombie spoke with Kelly’s voice.

“Robin, it’s just me!”

I groaned, rubbing the side of my face sheepishly. “… Sorry Kelly. Great costume,” I yawned. She giggled.

“Thanks! I just came down to check on you girls before I get ready for bed. You can blame these five for the prank,” she grinned mischievously at my friends, who all put on their most angelic smiles in return. She grabbed a cookie from the platter as she walked away, nibbling it. Nicole giggled as she wrapped me in a hug.

“It was that or dip your hand in warm water.”

“Or fun with sharpies,” Allison teased. Rachel giggled as she stood.

“We should get going. I still have to drive all the way back to New Haven. Hey Robin, you guys have your first basketball game next week right?”

I nodded as I stood, exchanging a hug with both girls. “Yeah, against the Lady Vikings.”

She grinned. “I know. Don’t think we’ll go easy on you just because you’re my friend.” She winked playfully. “No, really though, I’m looking forward to it. Maybe we can go out for pizza after the game, winner buys?”

I had to laugh. “Don’t you mean loser buys?”

“Nah. Leave it all on the court, y’know? It’s a Girl Scout tradition that when we go up against someone we’ve made friends with, winner buys to show there’s no hard feelings.”

“Oh, that’s awesome. Oh, Natalie, I’ll call you this week. We’ve got the basketball game and then the walk-a-thon Friday, but we’ll work something out.”

She nodded, giving me another quick hug. “Yeah, we’ll figure something out. Thanks for inviting us. That was an awesome party,” she added as she and Rachel exchanged hugs with the other girls, promptly scurrying up the stairs as they waved.

Nicole smiled as she turned to me. “Robin… Can I ask you a reeeeally big favor?” Her pleading stare melted my heart. I’d probably have cut off my right hand right then if she’d asked it of me. I nodded.

“Sure, Nikki. What is it?”

“Remember how Jen helped you with your bad dreams awhile ago? Well, I was wondering if… I mean…” she fumbled and started to blush. Jennifer cleared her throat.

“Ally? Let’s go brush our teeth. Up. Stairs.” she nodded toward the stairs. Allison smiled as she hugged us both then practically bolted up the stairs after Jennifer. Nicole watched them leave, shaking her head.

“That so doesn’t help,” she whined, resting her head on my shoulder. I smiled as I held her close.

“Nikki… Do you want to sleep with me on the sofa again?”

Her eyes lit up as she squeezed my waist, nodding vigorously. “Would you? I just… I don’t feel really good right now with Daddy sick and everything. I just… need you to hold me for awhile.”

I leaned forward to kiss her forehead, nodding. “Let’s go get ready for bed.”

I followed her upstairs, giving her hand a squeeze as we parted ways, she heading upstairs and I heading back to where I left my bag of sleepover things. Kelly sat at the kitchen table, sipping a mug of what I at first thought was coffee, now dressed in a fluffy, pastel pink robe. She glanced at me and smiled as she raised her mug.

“Herbal tea. Helps me unwind before bed. How was the party?”

I smiled as I stepped closer. “The party was amazing. Almost perfect, except… Well…”

She shot me a comforting smile. “It’s okay. Nikki told me about her dad… Aria Blade.” she giggled.

“She told you about that too? How long was I asleep?”

“About thirty minutes, according to Allison. That’s really sweet, what you did for that little girl. Margie’s going to die when she finds out though.”

“Oh hey,” I responded, not at all trying to change the subject. “How happy are you with your job here?”

“Uh… It’s okay I guess. I kind of miss hospital work though, getting to really help people who need it. Why?”

“Well, I talked to one of the supers at the hospital. They’re super-shorthanded, and they’re even willing to pull people off days to work nights to get some new blood if you want a day shift.”

“They’re that desperate?” she asked with no small surprise.

“Yeah. They have some people wanting to work nights, but they said that a lot of their nurses are leaving for bigger hospitals too so they really need the help. I’m going to talk to Mom about it tomorrow too.”

She seemed to think about it for a moment, then turning up her mug, she drank down the last of her tea and stood, approaching to wrap me in a hug. “I’ll check it out tomorrow. Thanks Robin,” she smiled, kissing the top of my head. “Now go get ready for bed!”

“Yes ma’am,” I teased, squeezing her back. She laughed, following me upstairs. We passed Allison, Jennifer and Nicole in the hallway, dressed in their pajamas. Kelly turned to step into her bedroom while I slipped into their shared bathroom to change.

I found the girls in the basement with two sleeping bags set up, and a third lying completely unzipped on the sofa. Nicole smiled as I wrapped her in a hug, and as I shifted to sit, I pulled her down with me, causing her to squeal lightly. She giggled as she nuzzled into me, pulling the sleeping bag like a blanket over us.

Jennifer leaned down to kiss Nicole’s forehead. “You two behave,” she teased. Her tone reminded us she knew fully-well nothing would happen between us, but her warm smile was still a nice gesture. Allison giggled as she crawled into her sleeping bag next to the sofa, Jennifer lying down on the other side, and within minutes, we were all dead to the world.

~* Co-Captain, My Captain *~ As we entered the gym, Brittany shot us a glare. “Fraternizing with the ‘enemy’?” “This is Rachel, one of our friends from Girl Scout camp. Rachel, this is our co-captain, Brittany.” “Nice to meet you,” Rachel offered, despite the other girl’s rather rude introduction to herself. Brittany shrugged. “Just don’t throw the game because of her,” she remarked, turning to head inside. Rachel blinked. “Well she’s just a little ball of sunshine isn’t she?” I giggled a little. “You get used to it. She just takes the game way too seriously.”

---

Waking up next to Nicole always felt strange, but in a good way. It was like when I was little, going to bed on Christmas Eve and remembering, on waking up, that a certain bearded fat man had broken into my house during the night to leave presents.

She still lay fast asleep in my arms, so I stayed still and silent for now. I started letting my mind wander, thinking about everything the four of us had been through in the last few months. At the end of the last school year, I could have counted the number of friends I had on a closed fist.

“Mmm…” Nicole mumbled, tilting her head back to smile at me.

“Hi there,” I smiled back, kissing the top of her head.

“Hey… Ally and Jen up yet?” She giggled as Allison’s light snoring answered her question. “Guess not.”

I laughed quietly as I shook my head. “Want to help me with breakfast?”

She pouted. “That would involve not staying here where it’s nice and warm, wouldn’t it?”

“Mmhmm,” I began, leaning closer to whisper in her ear, “It would also involve my special chocolate chip pancakes.”

Her eyes lit up and she grinned, carefully setting our sleeping bag-blanket aside. It seemed I’d sold her, as she quickly scooted to the far end of the sofa to get up without stepping on anyone. I slipped off the other side, moving around to get my backpack.

“I just need to take my medicine first. Last night kind of feels like some kind of crazy dream, doesn’t it?” I mused as I started up the stairs. Nicole giggled sleepily as she followed.

“Yeah, I mean zombies, Aria Blade, freakin’ Heedless Despair… Except for Daddy being in the hospital, last night was perfect.”

“You call zombies perfect?”

“I’m not the one who fell asleep during the movie,” she teased, squeezing my hand as we stopped at the top of the stairs. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen. I need to powder my nose.”

“You look fine to me,” I teased, causing her to giggle.

“Yeah, but it’s nicer than saying that I drank too much root beer last night,” she groaned. I laughed, turning to head into the kitchen to get started on breakfast.

I knew Nicole wouldn’t be ready to go home today, with her dad still in the hospital, so Allison and I would probably spend the day hanging out with her, if not Jennifer too. We hadn’t gone hiking in awhile, so maybe the four of us could take a day trip back to the stream or something.

By the time Nicole and I had a large stack of pancakes ready, the rest of the household had only just begun to trickle in. Joe, dressed in loose flannel pajama bottoms and a plain gray t-shirt made a bee-line for the coffee pot, followed quickly by Carol. She smiled as she approached us, wrapping us both in a hug.

“You girls didn’t have to cook anything,” she offered sleepily. Joe turned, handing her a freshly-poured cup of black nectar.

“Well I wanted to stay where it was warm and cozy, but Robin tempted me with promises of pancakes,” Nicole joked. As if on cue, Jennifer and Allison appeared in the doorway, Jennifer piping up cheerfully.

“Oh my God, Robin that smells so good.” She padded closer, staring at the stack. “Uhm… What’s with the little brown speckles?”

“Chocolate chips,” I grinned, glancing at Carol next, “Speaking of which, I’ll buy you a fresh bag to replace them.”

“Nonsense, dear,” she replied, slightly more awake now. “Anytime you feel like cooking, you just help yourself. Allison’s always bragging about your cooking. I’m looking forward to trying it myself.”

As we settled in to eat, Joe stepped into the living room to turn on the morning weather, returning a moment later to simultaneously take a seat and spear a couple of pancakes for himself. Meanwhile the far-too-cheerful for six a.m. weatherman recapped the week’s forecast in the next room.

“… And with that cold front moving through, we might see our first chance of snow by about Wednesday or Thursday.”

“Hey, do you guys feel like going hiking later today?” Allison asked abruptly. I had to giggle, causing her to give me an odd stare. “What?”

“You literally read my mind,” I mused.

“Heh. Well, it’s going to turn colder soon, so I figured it’d be fun to go on one last day hike, since we haven’t been in awhile. Jen? Nikki?”

Jennifer beamed. “Sure. I’d need a ride back home so I can get my hiking boots though.”

Nikki nodded. “I can take you. I need to get mine too. I literally wasn’t thinking about anything beyond getting out of that big old house for the night.”

Joe, who had been quietly listening to either our conversation or the television in the next room, cleared his throat. “That reminds me, Nikki, you know you’re more than welcome to stay here until your dad’s released from the hospital.”

She smiled brightly at that. “Thanks! I’ll be okay though. I was just sooo drained from the party last night, and with everything else happening, I just wanted to get out of that house for awhile and not deal with security and stuff. With you guys I can just be ‘Nikki’, not ‘That obscenely rich goth girl’,” she added that last line with a bite of sarcasm I’d learned to love about her. I reached a hand under the table to give her hand a light squeeze.

“Anyway, yeah, hiking does sound like fun. Carol, Joe, do you guys want to go with us?”

Carol quickly shook her head. “No thank you, dear. I have house cleaning to catch up on.”

“I’ll take a rain check. I promised Phil I’d help him work on his new project later this morning.”

Allison glanced at her father and frowned. “More work?”

He laughed, shaking his head. “Not this time, Princess. Phil bought one of those complete home gym things. The problem is he’s about as good with power tools as I am with a frying pan.”

Allison giggled. “THAT bad? Wow, I can see why you’d want to help him then. Can’t have the department head drilling his foot or anything.”

The rest of the morning progressed relatively uneventfully. Allison and I went back to my house together to hang out while Jennifer and Nicole left to change and get some things for the hike, and I had a chance to tell Mom about the hospital job. She of course loved the idea, so much so that she left to go look into it while Allison and I were upstairs in my bedroom.

Before we parted ways, Allison asked if any of us minded if she invited Kelly. Of course, none of us did. Even despite Kelly and Nicole’s past relationship not exactly being very warm, I got a sense that they still cared about each other in their own way, and of course, to Jennifer and me, Kelly was like a sister anyway. Like Margie, she was always there when we needed her.

The nature hike ended up being even more exhilarating than I expected. The chill wind didn’t even bother me, between my heavy coat and a borrowed pair of ear muffs. I’d definitely have to reconsider my winter wardrobe before that snow stuff hit, though! We talked quite a lot as we sat by the old stream. Like the lake at Girl Scout camp, this was our special place: our sanctuary.

Allison invited Nicole and me to join the scouts at this very location, and we disclosed to Nicole about the raggedy man at this spot. Allison, Kelly and I even camped here back in September. We had just begun our trek back, the mid-afternoon sun finally breaking through the cloud cover, when a thought occurred to me. I slowed up a bit to walk next to Kelly.

“Hey, Kelly? Can I ask you something?”

She smiled at me as she nodded, her tightly-bound blonde ponytail bouncing in the breeze. “Of course. What’s on your mind?”

“Well, I’ve been thinking, and… Well, do you think you could maybe give me piano lessons?”

She grinned quite brightly as she wrapped me in a hug. “Absolutely! I’m a little rusty, but I can show you the basics. And of course you’re welcome to come over any time you want and use my keyboard to practice. I’ll even give you the friends-and-family discount on lessons,” she teased, waiting for me to ask.

“What’s the friends-and-family discount?”

“That’s the one where people I like, who have become like my awesome little sister, get lessons for free.” She winked.

Nicole glanced over her shoulder and giggled. “Hey, if you can learn to play the keyboard, we’ll just be one short for a full band. Jen can REALLY belt it when she wants to.”

Jennifer laughed, poking Nicole in the ribs. “Oh come on, I’m not that good. You and Allison got all the musical talent. Sheet music looks like somebody’s fountain pen exploded to me. Still, it could be kind of fun to start our own little garage band, y’know, just for fun.”

Kelly chuckled. “Just don’t expect to pick it all up at once. I took piano lessons for three years, and some of the harder stuff is still way out of reach. But I’ll teach you everything I know. Jen, I can even teach you to read music if you’re interested. Just promise me you won’t let yourselves get overloaded with everything else going on too.”

“We promise,” Jennifer and I responded in unison, causing the others to crack up laughing.

“We still need to finish our homework,” I added more soberly, “But maybe we can get started later tonight, if you’re not busy?”

“I’m not busy. I’m going to head into town to get an application, and talk to my super at the clinic, though, but I’ll be back before you’ve finished your homework. She’s not going to be happy about having to fill my slot, but she’ll get over it,” she mused as we broke through the edge of the woods, into the little clearing separating the forest from our little cul-de-sac.

True to her word, later that evening, Kelly gave me a few basic lessons on her 61-key keyboard, with Allison occasionally strumming along on her guitar. Between the two sisters I actually learned quite a lot about the basics of music theory. I never realized how much math was involved, but when Allison put it in those terms it made a lot more sense, even though English and Literature were more my fields of expertise.

School Monday and Tuesday progressed relatively normally. I noticed Trent seemed a little quiet, but neither he nor Laura wanted to talk about it, even with Nicole, so we both made it known that if either of them needed to talk, that we’d be there.

I even gave Trent my cell phone number. Of course, Kathy joined us for lunch that day, and we were more than happy to have her. Once she came out of her shell just a little bit, she turned out to be a really fun person.

Brittany though, was a bit of a surprise. She and Chelsea seated themselves about halfway through lunch, the latter smiling a friendly smile, and the former, her usual, neutral apathetic glance.

“Hi girls,” Chelsea began, “I just wanted to remind you the team’s meeting after school to talk strategy for tomorrow’s game. It’s non-conference so there’s no pressure, but we need to finalize our starters before tomorrow.”

Brittany stared right at me, “There’s no pressure for SOME of us.”

Chelsea glanced at her co-captain, shaking her head. “Brit, relax.”

“Whatever,” she shot back, standing to walk away. Chelsea sighed, shaking her head.

“Don’t take it personally.”

Nicole watched her leave, rolling her eyes. “What’s her damage anyway? Robin’s been nothing but nice to her. She even got you guys’ coach to reconsider making her co-captain.”

“Brittany thinks that her dad doesn’t care about her. Her older brother was the starter QB last year, and now that he’s in college on a full football scholarship … Well, it’s a big shadow to live in. Kind of like how everyone thinks I’m perfect,” she trailed off and shook her head.

“Anyway, Maria’s down with a sore ankle so Robin, you and Allison are going to probably be starting with Brittany.”

“Maria’s hurt?” I frowned. She was just fine when I saw her last Friday.

“Yeah, but she’ll be okay. It’s just a mild sprain, so she’ll be back in school tomorrow, and at the game tomorrow night. She just won’t be able to play this week.”

“I hope she feels better soon. I wanted to ask her if she’d like a modeling job.”Chelsea raised her perfectly sculpted eyebrows at that, causing me to giggle a little.

“Um, well, we’re doing the modeling work for the characters in the Aria Blade comic book. My sister knows the artist, and helped design the costumes we wore for Nikki’s Halloween party. The only problem is we don’t have someone to portray Psychic Strike yet, so I was going to ask Maria if she’d be interested.”

“Ohh, coolness. I’m sure she’d love to. My parents can handle any guardianship waivers; just stop by my house whenever. Anyway, I’ve got a boyfriend in need of attention,” she grinned as she stood.

The day of our first big game was both exciting and nerve-wracking. The Vikings would be coming here, and since New Haven was only about an hour at most away, a couple of players like Rachel got permission to drive out early.

As for ourselves, Allison and I stepped out of Carol’s SUV dressed in our purple-on-gold Lady Tigers uniforms. We both had our hair tied back, with minimal makeup, and matching purple socks peeking over the edge of our basketball shoes.

Rachel, clad in her orange-and-black uniform, called as she spotted us, waving us over to the black extended cab truck. I could have sworn she was driving a car last Saturday. “Hey girls!” she spoke warmly, even as she tied her hair back with a pair of orange and black ribbons. Allison and I wrapped her in a hug, which she happily returned.

“Hey Rachel. How was the drive?”

“Pretty boring, but it beats riding the bus. It was a bit bumpy though. I had to borrow my Dad's truck because he didn't want me getting stranded again.”

As we entered the gym, Brittany shot us a glare. “Fraternizing with the ‘enemy’?”

“This is Rachel, one of our friends from Girl Scout camp. Rachel, this is our co-captain, Brittany.”

“Nice to meet you,” Rachel offered, despite the other girl’s rather rude introduction to herself.

Brittany shrugged. “Just don’t throw the game because of her,” she remarked, turning to head inside. Rachel blinked.

“Well she’s just a little ball of sunshine isn’t she?”

I giggled a little. “You get used to it. She just takes the game way too seriously.”

“Obviously. Anyway, I’d better go check in with my coach. Good luck out there Spirit.”

“You too!” I called back.

From the opening tip-off, we had a heated, extremely close game. Maria, despite her ankle brace and crutches, had worn her basketball uniform to help support the team, and she had some great insight into plays to run from her vantage-point on the bench as well. Rachel scored more than a few two-pointers, and by the half, the Tigers and Vikings had it all tied up at 29-29.

Since no one would be changing, I joined the rest of the team in the locker room during our half-time break. While Chelsea gave us a pep talk, I sat with Allison, toweling off my sweat. Even if I had only played part of the game, I still managed to work up quite a bit of perspiration. A good, hot shower would be in order after the game.

As we broke to head back out, I noticed Brittany off by herself with her head resting against her locker. Against my better judgment, I stepped closer. “Brit? Are you okay?”

She turned and stared at me for a moment. She looked like she’d been crying. “He’s not even here. The bastard didn’t even bother to show up.”

“Who, your dad?”

“Yes! He promised he’d be here, but big surprise, he skipped out.”

“Well… Maybe he had a good reason?”

“Oh, I’m sure he did. He always does. Come on, let’s get this over with.” She turned to brush past me, though this time it wasn’t forceful. Not like every other time she’s shoved her way past me. This time it almost felt like an accident, like she wasn’t even thinking.

“Hey, Brit, after the game Ally, Rachel and I are going out for pizza if … you want to go with us. Your call.”

She paused and slowly turned to stare at me. She didn’t respond, but I thought I saw a hint of a smile at the corners of her lips as she turned back toward the door. “Don’t be long or we’ll start without you.” I couldn’t tell if she was teasing or not, knowing her, but I didn’t want to find out, quickly following her back onto the court.

I’d love to say I scored the game-winning basket, but that honor went to the other team. They played a great game though, and we gave them a real run for it, pushing the score up to 34-37 before the final buzzer. Allison and I walked across the court, much to the surprise of most of the rest of Rachel’s team. Rachel grinned as we high-fived and hugged each other.

“That was an awesome game, guys.”

“Yeah,” one of her teammates spoke up, “That was a lot of fun. I hope we see each other again in conference!”

“Anyway, I think I owe you guys a pizza. I just need to shower first.”

Allison giggled, “Yeah, me too. Hey, is it okay if we bring someone along?”

“Of course!” Rachel responded immediately. “Nikki and Jen, or someone else?”

“Both,” I added. “I’m not sure if she’s actually going to accept my offer or not, but Brittany’s dad never showed up, and she took it pretty hard.”

Rachel seemed to digest that a moment, but nodded. “Sure, no problem. I trust your judgment.”

I’m glad Rachel trusted my judgment; at least someone did. I certainly didn’t. I didn’t know what kept driving me to be nice to people like Brittany and Jason. Maybe it was because of my positive experience with Natalie, or maybe I just hated seeing people suffer.

I found myself dwelling on those thoughts as I showered in the coaches’ office. I still hadn’t had a chance to ask Coach Wilson how we were going to handle my shower arrangements at away games, but it wasn’t exactly as though I were a threat to the other girls anyway. It was really the other way around, in that I didn’t want them to see me. Being a teenager was complicated enough already.

I changed into a white t-shirt and jeans, pulling my knit purple v-neck sweater from my gym bag and tugging it over my head. After pulling my hair out and letting it fall across my back, I stepped out into the coaches’ office. Coach Wilson smiled as she looked over at me.

“That was really sportsmanlike, what you and Allison did out there.”

“Huh?” I blinked at her, not quite sure what she meant.

“Going to congratulate the other team like that. Their coach complimented me on having such great players.” She smiled broadly.

I had to giggle. “Oh, um… Well, one of their players is actually one of our best friends. We bunked with her at Girl Scout camp last summer. See, there’s an unwritten rule where when you make friends with someone through the Scouts, if you end up playing against them in school sports, the winner buys pizza to show there’s no hard feelings, that it’s all left on the court.”

Coach Wilson chuckled. “Well that explains a lot. Still, it showed good sportsmanship that you’d be willing to put a loss aside like that.”

As if on cue, Rachel knocked at the open door. She smiled as she stepped inside. “Sorry, I’m not interrupting anything am I?”

“Not at all,” Coach Wilson responded. “I was just telling Robin how proud I am of the sportsmanship you girls showed out there today.”

She beamed. “Spirit got her camp name because she was like, THE most spirited girl any of us had ever met. She’d have made a great cheerleader, but there’s always next year. Oh, Robin, I bumped into your friend Brittany after I left our locker room.”

“Uh oh. She didn’t give you a hard time did she?” I asked, concerned.

Rachel shook her head and smiled. “Not at all. She apologized for her earlier comment and said to tell you she’d wait for us in the parking lot. That girl’s got issues, but I think you were right, she does need someone to be her friend.”

I nodded, turning to Coach Wilson. “I’ll see you in school tomorrow, Coach.”

“You bet. Get some rest. You earned it.”

Nicole, Jennifer and Allison were waiting outside for us, and after a quick exchange of hugs, we started for the parking lot. Brittany, true to her word, stood with her hands buried deep in her jacket pockets waiting for us. She quietly nodded as we approached.

“Are you sure you want me along? I know I’ve been riding your ass pretty hard lately…”

I shrugged, stepped closer, and hugged her. She cringed at the sudden show of affection, but smiled a little. “Don’t worry about it. Chelsea told me about your brother, and then with your dad not making it, I can understand why you’ve been feeling pretty stressed out. Let’s just go get some pizza and hang out.”

“… Thanks, Robin. You’re too nice for your own good sometimes.”

“Not really. I just don’t see any point in holding a grudge. Do you need a ride?”

“Um… Yeah, kind of,” she responded sheepishly. Rachel held up her keys.

“You can ride with me. I won’t bite,” she teased, causing Brittany to crack a smile. “I can give you a ride home too after if you want. Any friend of Robin’s is a friend of mine.”

“Thanks.”

A short drive, and a short wait later, the six of us had piled into a corner booth around two large pizzas as we talked about the game. I had just dove into my second slice of Meatlovers when Rachel started to giggle. “Oh my God, and Robin, I can’t believe you actually made that one three-point shot. When Brittany stole the ball from Cassie and passed it to you, none of us knew what was going to happen.”

Brittany actually laughed. “Oh man, when I saw that opening I knew it was the only chance I’d get. You guys have some tough defense. Robin was the only one open.”

“I can’t believe it actually went in,” I added, shaking my head. “I saw Samara moving to rebound so I was just trying to get it to her for a two-pointer, but I was blocked for a pass so I just held my breath and went for it.”

We talked and giggled for awhile more, completely wiping out the two pizzas, and as we stood to leave, I felt someone squeeze my hand. Brittany pulled me away to the side and gave me a light hug.

“Listen, Robin… I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting. It’s just this whole thing with my dad. I thought maybe if he could just see me play, that he’d finally wake up and realize Derrick’s not the only Scott with any sports aptitude.”

“Don’t even worry about it, Brit. Your dad will come around eventually. And if he doesn’t, well, Ally’s dad makes an awesome substitute. My dad died when I was just a kid, so I didn’t even know him. He left Mom when I was even younger than that.”

“Ouch. I guess I should be thankful he even cares that I exist, even if he can’t be bothered to remember my basketball games.” She paused. “OUR basketball games. Anyway, Rachel said she’d give me a ride home, so I guess I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

“Yeah, see you. Good luck with your dad.”

“Thanks,” she sighed dryly. “He’s so getting the silent treatment when I get home.”

Nicole approached as Brittany walked away to join Rachel, heading out. “What was that about?”

I smiled as I wrapped my arms around her, resting my head on her shoulder. “I think I just Jasoned Brittany.”

“’Jasoned’…?” She giggled. “Is that Robin-speak for something?”

“Yeah.” I laughed. “She finally admitted what Chelsea told us at lunch. She just needs to tell her dad how she feels now.”

As the four of us walked out into the chill evening, I couldn’t help feeling really, really good about the day, if a little selfish. I should have felt good about Brittany finally confronting the real reason she’d been on my case all this time, but the reality of it was I felt good about having one less person constantly antagonizing me for no good reason. Did that make me a shallow person? Maybe, but at the same time, I thought I could see potential for another friendship.

Only time would tell if this time she really had changed, but at least I finally felt I’d made the right decision in vouching for her with Coach Wilson, twice.

~* For The Cure *~ “Maria promised to help you guys out, but since she’s in no shape to walk I’m pledging in her place.” “Wait, if you’re here to help, why have you been avoiding me at school the last couple of days?” She genuinely laughed. “I wanted it to be a surprise. Consider it my way of saying ‘thanks’ for… you know, forgiving me for being such an ass. Besides, we’re a team. We’ve got to look out for each other right?”

---

Author's Note:
For the record, I take cancer very seriously. My grandmother died of complications following surgery due to pancreatic cancer when I was very little.

I try to keep Becoming Robin a light-hearted tale, but I also have tried to treat this particular subject with the seriousness that it deserves.

That said, you may want a box of tissues because this chapter, from beginning to end, is honey-coated and dipped in the sugar bowl :-)
~Zoe

---

With the walk-a-thon, and threats of snow, fast approaching, I’d called Natalie Tuesday night after the big game to make our arrangements. It also meant Nicole and I would finally get to meet her parents. After school we stopped off at home long enough for me to change my clothes and to pick up something special. I couldn’t find any lilacs unfortunately, so I opted for an arrangement of roses.

“Is that it?” Nicole asked as she pointed to a small two-story brick house. She slowed to a crawl as I craned to inspect the suburban home, nestled neatly between a pseudo-Victorian and a smaller, more modern one-story brick. As if the numbers weren’t enough to convince me, the front door opened, Natalie stepping out and flagging us down. Nicole laughed. “Guess that answers that question.”

“Hey guys!” she offered warmly after we had pulled into the driveway and stepped out. The wind picked up, causing me to pull my heavy coat a little more tightly around myself. She giggled, rolling her eyes. “C’mon inside for a minute. I want you to meet my parents before we go to the cemetery. Actually, they want to meet you too.”

We followed Natalie inside, where we were immediately greeted by a spritz of lilac air freshener from Crystal’s motion sensor thing. Natalie giggled, leading us past the plush mauve-carpeted foyer, down three short steps into the den. Oak paneling covered the walls from the ceiling about halfway down, where it met a lovely shade of dusty rose paint that matched well with the carpeting. A woman about Mom’s age, dressed in a business suit with pinstripe slacks sat on the overstuffed sofa thumbing through a magazine, her platinum blonde hair held in a neat bun.

She smiled as she glanced up at us and quickly stood, Natalie motioning as she introduced us. “Mom, this is Robin Smith, AKA Spirit, and Nicole, from Girl Scout camp. Girls, this is my Mom, Helen Poole. My brothers and Daddy were around here … somewhere,” she laughed light-heartedly as she glanced around.

I admit it caught me a little by surprise when the woman abruptly threw her arms around me. I thought she might even be crying. “Robin, I’ve wanted to meet you ever since Natalie came home from camp. I can’t begin to express how much I appreciate what you’ve done for both she and Crystal.” I wrapped my arms around the woman, smiling sheepishly as she continued, pulling back again. “Crystal was like a surrogate daughter, but what it did to Natalie was even worse.”

“I’m just glad I could help. It was unfair the way the camp just closed up the old cabin and pretended nothing had happened. For what it’s worth, it wasn’t Director Meredith’s decision to do it. The higher-ups just felt it would be better for everyone to try and move on.”

Natalie gave a slow and deliberate nod, but grinned. “And now they’ll never forget. The camp luau’s going to be an unofficial tradition from now on. Oh, hey, do you guys want some hot chocolate before we go?”

Nicole, having stood back and watched the entire exchange up until now, cheerfully piped up. “That’d be great! I was going to stop for cappuccinos, but I couldn’t find anywhere to stop.”

Natalie giggled as her mother responded, “Oh, yes, the old goats on the city council are actively trying to keep the town from growing. Honestly my husband and I have talked more than once about moving to New Haven, or even Alpine Springs. At least they’re not afraid of growth.”

Nicole and I looked at each other and grinned even as Natalie and Helen led us into the kitchen. “We’re actually from Alpine Springs. I wouldn’t want to pull Natalie away from her friends here, but we’d make sure she felt welcome.”

Helen smiled warmly over her shoulder at us as she filled a tea kettle from the refrigerator’s purified water dispenser. “Oh that’s right! I keep forgetting you girls aren’t from New Haven like Rachel. How is the school there?”

Nicole and I both shrugged as I answered, “It’s a lot quieter than where I’m originally from. I’ve had a few problems with bullies, but nothing like what I went through back in California.”

Nicole laughed, “Yeah, plus you kinda have a tendency to turn bullies’ crap back on them. Like my ex-boyfriend, Jason?” she began as she turned back to Helen. “He was a real dick when we broke up, but Robin’s patience finally won out. See, his mom has cancer, and it’s just been really hard on him. I didn’t even know about any of this until recently, but between that and his parents separating before that it’s just been tough on the guy.”

Helen listened as Nicole explained the ‘Jason’ situation. Natalie kept glancing at me from time to time, giving me a knowing smile. She knew too well what Nicole was talking about, but it wasn’t patience that got me through.

“It wasn’t really patience though,” I added, as Helen placed the kettle on the front burner of what looked to be a relatively new range. “People tell me I’m good with people and with disarming situations, but truthfully, I just try to get along with everyone. Some people respond better than others.”

“He-lloooo ladies,” a male voice spoke up from behind us. Nicole and I both turned at the same time to see a taller boy, though definitely some relation to Natalie judging by his facial features, though definitely not his less-than-suave attitude or his goofy grin.

Natalie rolled her eyes. “Forget it, Derrick. Robin and Nicole are off-limits.”

He laughed as he stepped closer, offering his hand. “Oh relax, Nat. I’m only kidding. You know Amy’d kill me if I even LOOKED at another girl. So you’re the girls who held that big Halloween party last weekend. Nice to meet you.”

Nicole nodded as we shook hands. “Yeah, it was off-the-charts awesome.”

“So I heard,” he laughed. “Sorry I couldn’t have been there, but Amy wanted me to escort her to some party her friends were holding.”

Natalie giggled. “Yeah, she’s a little controlling like that, but she’s not SO bad, once you get to know her.”

“Anyway, Mom, Dad and Joey are heading to the hardware store, and I’m gonna go over to Amy’s so we can work on our homework. Nice meeting you Robin, Nicole,” he added, waving as he turned to step out. Helen smiled as she poured up three cups’ worth of hot water.

“She really is a nice girl,” she added, apparently waiting for the front door to close first. “Just don’t tell him I said that!” She teased, tearing open several packets of hot cocoa mix.

We sat and talked for some time while we enjoyed the hot beverages, both about camp experiences and how school had been going. Helen asked us a few more questions about Alpine Springs as well. We learned that she was actually an administrative assistant in town, though she was looking to get a transfer to New Haven. It would mean a commute, but a higher paycheck as well. Her husband, Lance, worked as a contractor. The older brother Joey, at 19, was already planning to follow in his footsteps.

After saying our goodbyes and thanking Mrs. Poole for the hot cocoa, the three of us left for the cemetery. Following Natalie’s directions, it didn’t take us long to find, and as we stepped out of Nicole’s Mustang, I couldn’t help feeling a sense of peace from the quiet surroundings. Natalie approached, wrapping an arm around my waist as she leaned her head on my shoulder.

“Thank you for coming with me. I… didn’t mention this before, but this is the first time I’ve actually been out here since the funeral. It just hurt too much. But with you guys here, I think … I think I’m ready now.”

Nicole popped the trunk, causing Natalie to jump. I giggled a little. “We brought some flowers to lay. We put them in the trunk hoping the cold air would keep them fresh a little longer.”

After retrieving the flowers and closing the trunk, Nicole stepped closer, and Natalie smiled fondly, turning away from the road to start walking. She led us through several rows of varying styles and sizes of grave markers, from angelic statuary to simple granite markers barely the size of a brick. We stopped alongside a reddish marker declaring Crystal’s name and lifespan, as well as the words ‘Our Beloved Daughter’.

Nicole and I wrapped Natalie in a hug as she turned back to us. “Beloved daughter… If only she knew how much her parents loved her. They just didn’t know how to show it until it was too late.”

Nicole offered her the flowers. “Nat, would you do the honors? You knew her better than anyone.”

Natalie smiled fondly as she nodded, accepting the flowers. She turned and knelt, and as the wind started to pick up, carefully placed the arrangement on the marker. She kissed two fingers, placing them against the top of the marker. “I love you Crystal. You were my best friend and my sister, and I’ll never forget you. I’m sorry-” was the last that we heard, as we quietly stepped away to give Natalie a moment to grieve.

“Poor Natalie…” Nicole sighed, glancing back.

“I know. I didn’t realize she hadn’t come back here. That must have been eating her alive inside. No wonder she was so wound-up at camp.”

Nicole giggled a little as she kissed my cheek. “I love you Robin. You don’t realize how much better you make others’ lives just by being you.”

I could feel my cheeks burning, even as I felt a sudden, gentle squeeze of my other hand. I turned to see Natalie, tears streaming down her face, but smiling. She tugged me close, pulling me back to Crystal’s final resting place.

“Crystal this is Robin. She’s… one of my new best friends, and the one who fought so hard to get the camp to honor your memory. She’s also the one who got me to finally come out here.”

I didn’t know what to say, really. I’ve never been to a funeral in my life, let alone a cemetery. When Dad died, I didn't go to the ceremony because I was just too young to really understand.

I smiled a little as I hugged Natalie. “I wish I could have met you. I know we would have been good friends from everything Natalie’s said. I hope that you’ve found some measure of peace. You deserve it. I…” I hesitated.

Natalie glanced at me, curious. “I don’t know if you had anything to do with my Mom’s recovery or not, but I want to believe you did. I want to believe that it was our honoring you that brought her out of her coma. So… Thank you.”

By now, even I was in tears. The memories of camp, the euphoric rush of relief when the big news had been delivered that Mom was finally awake, knowing I’d get to see her smiling face again, and knowing I could show her the daughter she was always meant to have.

Natalie smiled brightly as the three of us walked back to Nicole’s car. It was only after we started to pull away that she spoke up though.

“Robin, I had no idea you felt that way… But that kind of fits. She was like an angel: a really sad angel.”

I smiled at her as I nodded. “I remember smelling lilacs after the luau, as I walked you to our cabin. I don’t know if it was just someone’s perfume on the breeze, but I choose to believe it was her.”

“I remember,” she whispered in response, still smiling.

After a tearful goodbye, we dropped Natalie off and started home. I still had a lot of homework to catch up on, and the weather seemed to just keep getting colder! Out of the blue, Nicole squeezed my hand.

“Do you guys have any plans for Thanksgiving?”

“I haven’t really thought about it. We’ve always had such a small family. I don’t even know any of Mom’s extended family because … Er, well…”

She blinked, glancing at me. “What?”

“They kind of disowned us after Mom married Dad.”

“You’re not serious.”

I caught myself. I almost said ‘As a heart attack’, before remembering how horribly inappropriate that would be. Nicole mistook my reluctance to mean that I was serious, at least, and not that I almost shoved my foot in my mouth. “I haven’t seen any of Mom’s family since I was like, three.”

“Wow, that sucks. Well, we usually fly out to Wisconsin to spend Thanksgiving with my Mom’s family, but with Daddy’s heart condition we might end up spending it here this year. I’d love for you and your mom and Margie to come if we do.”

I suddenly felt a little uneasy. “You don’t think they’d mind? I mean… They’d be okay with… us?” To say nothing of my transgenderedness, though only a handful of people knew about that. I eventually did let Bob and Gina in on the secret, too. They were surprised, but took it well all things considered.

She laughed. “They better be. Robin, I don’t care what people think of us. They’re going to have to find out sooner or later that I’m lesbian. They might as well meet you at the same time so we can get all the stupid stereotypes about hiking boots and butch haircuts shattered at once. You are like, the girliest girl I know.” She grinned.

“Thanks, I think,” I laughed, squeezing her hand.

She smiled as we pulled into my driveway. “Daddy’s home today so I’m going to head on home and check on him. Call me later, okay?”

“Sure thing,” I responded, meeting her in-the-middle as it were, as we both leaned forward for a chaste, parting kiss. She smiled, licking her lips playfully as I stepped out.

As if on cue, a single snowflake floated down and landed squarely on my nose. I could hear her giggling as I closed the door behind me. I shook my head, but I couldn’t help chuckling as I made my way inside. Margie was just on her way down the stairs when I entered. She paused at the bottom step to look over. “Hey, kiddo. Have fun?”

“Yeah, it was great. Apparently Natalie’s folks are even considering moving here since her mom’s trying to get a job over in New Haven anyway. Something about the city council being more progressive or something.” I shrugged.

“That doesn’t surprise me. Oh, did you talk to Maria?” she asked, motioning for me to follow her into the kitchen. Mom, having already started dinner, stood over a frying pan with some sort of hamburger-noodle concoction sizzling.

“Yeah. She says it’ll be another week before she can walk without crutches, but after that she’s game. Hi Mom,” I smiled broadly, wrapping Mom in a tight hug.

“Hello dear,” she offered, turning to kiss my forehead. “How did things go with Natalie? And what’s this about someone on crutches?”

“It was great. The plot where Crystal was buried is so peaceful. Oh, and Maria sprained her ankle. Chelsea felt sooo guilty about it. Apparently what happened was while they were practicing at Chelsea’s house, working on some new plays to introduce for our first game, Maria went for a lay-up and tripped on her shoe-laces, causing her to land badly.” I paused, giggling a little. “It’s kind of romantic in a way. Jason carried her inside.”

“Jason… Jason… You mean Jason Beaumont?” she sounded shocked, and understandably. I nodded.

“Yeah. I mean, at first I was a little suspicious, but hearing that … maybe Kenpo really will be good for him.”

“Ash certainly thinks so. He said Jason opened up to him a little when he went in to work on the dojo Saturday. He said he couldn’t talk about what they discussed due to teacher-student confidentiality, but I’d say your instincts were right, sweetheart.” She smiled proudly, but I shook my head.

“No they weren’t. Mom, the only reason I went through all this with Jason is because you and Sensei have been pushing me to give him another chance. It paid off, but it was your good advice. My instincts were to stay as far away as possible.” I giggled a little, peeking at the pan. “That smells really good. Um, are we doing anything for Thanksgiving?”

Margie shook her head. “That’s a good question actually. Last year I ate with the Joneses, and the year before my Mom made a surprise visit, so we went out to eat, but I haven’t given any thought to this year. Why?”

“Oh, Nicole said that because of her dad’s heart condition, they might not be flying out to spend Thanksgiving with her mom’s family this year. Instead they’ll probably be having Thanksgiving here, and she asked if we’d be interested.”

Mom hesitated a moment, but smiled. I think she was thinking the same thing I’d asked Nicole earlier. “That sounds lovely, dear. I wouldn’t want to impose, though.”

“Oh, nonsense,” Margie laughed. “You know better than anyone how much Robin means to Bob and Gina. I’m not sure if I’ll go, though. Like I said, I spent Thanksgiving with the Joneses last year, and with Kelly here this year, I’m obligated to at least spend some time with them.”

Mom nodded. “Well, nonetheless, you’re more than welcome to go Robin. We’ll see what happens between now and then-” she paused as the phone started to ring. Margie stepped into the living room to answer it, reappearing a moment later to offer the cordless device to me.

“It’s your Coach.”

“Coach Wilson?” I asked, surprised.

Coach Greer laughed, “Close.”

“Oh, hi Coach Greer! What’s up?”

“Well, I just wanted to get in touch with you about babysitting Amanda. I talked to my husband about it, and he agreed you’d be the best candidate for the job, if you’re still interested?”

“Absolutely! I’d love to!” I practically exclaimed, getting a giggle from Margie.

“Great! She’s looking forward to seeing you again. Do you think you could watch her this Sunday? I know I said Monday before, but we’ve been given tickets to see ‘Phantom of the Opera’ in New Haven this weekend.”

“That’s fine. Is it alright if I have a couple of friends over? Just Allison and maybe Jennifer or Nicole, if anyone.”

“Oh, yes that’s fine. If you have any questions, just let me know. I already know you’re first-aid and CPR certified, so I’m not concerned with anything like that.”

“Plus my mom is a nurse. I guess it kind of runs in the family.”

She chuckled. “So that’s where you get it from.”

“Thank you, Coach Greer. I’ll give you a call if I have any questions before Sunday, or I’ll just come find you at school. Or at the walk-a-thon, if the weather doesn’t ruin it.”

“I’ve only seen a couple of flakes, but they say it should hold off until Saturday. That’s when the real stuff hits.”

“That’s a relief. Did you want me to turn in my clipboard to you tomorrow or Friday?”

“Keep it until Friday in case you get any more pledges. Just don’t lose it!” she teased. I giggled.

“Yes ma’am. Take care.”

Mom had already poured the cheese-sauce hamburger-and-noodle concoction into a large serving bowl by the time I’d finished my conversation. “That was Coach Greer,” I began, as I grabbed three plates and some silverware, making my way to the dining table and setting everything out. “She wants me to babysit her daughter this Sunday.”

Margie and Mom looked at each other then back at me, Margie giving me a sisterly smile. “Are you ready for that?”

I laughed a bit as I seated myself. “Yeah. It’s just little Amanda. She’s the sweetest little girl I’ve ever seen. Remember me telling you about the girl at camp that fell? That’s the same one.”

“Really?” Mom asked, surprised.

“Uh huh. When our old troop leader retired this year, Coach Greer stepped up to take over. I talked to her at the scouts’ Halloween party about how I wished I had a sister like Amanda, and she offered to let me babysit from time to time.”

“It sounds like an excellent opportunity,” Mom responded as she scooped up a spoonful of her Hamburger Assistant.

“Yeah. And good practice,” Margie added with a sly grin, causing Mom to blush just a bit.

“Oh, hush you,” she laughed. “Ash and I aren’t that serious.”

“Oh please. The man sent you roses!” she giggled. He did?

“It was one rose, young lady,” Mom chided. Margie stuck her tongue out and giggled.

“It’s still a sweet gesture.”

As the playful banter between the two continued, I settled back in my chair and quietly listened, mostly lost in thought as to the day’s events, and the days to come. I only had two more days to drum up pledges, though I’d yet to make my rounds at the hospital, either. For the moment though, I finished my dinner and, after helping Margie with the dishes, headed up to my room to work on my homework.

Much like Wednesday had, Thursday and Friday at school passed uneventfully. Brittany almost seemed to be avoiding me though. Those of us involved in the big walk-a-thon were allowed out of school early. Nicole drove Allison, Jennifer and I. We'd all chosen to wear our camp CIT t-shirts for the occasion, and as we pulled into the parking lot adjoining the park where the event would begin, we could see quite a few people coming and going, including a news helicopter hovering overhead.

“Did you know about all this?” Nicole practically gasped. I quickly shook my head.

“No clue. Let’s go find Angela and find out what’s going on.”

The four of us wove our way through the crowd to the open air amphitheatre. Coach Greer stood on-stage, off to one side talking with none other than Director Meredith herself. Our former camp director smiled proudly as she flagged us over.

“Hello girls!”

“Hi Meredith!” I offered warmly, and after an exchange of hugs, asked the obvious. “What’s all this?”

“Spirit!” Amanda exclaimed excitedly as she raced over. I giggled as I scooped her up into my arms, holding her close.

“Hey little sister,” I replied with a grin, causing her to stare silent and wide-eyed.

Meredith stifled a chuckle at the exchange. “Well, I’ve been in touch with Angela over the last couple of weeks. I put in some calls and got the word out that your troop here would be sponsoring a cancer walk. The local news picked up on the story, and one thing led to another.”

Jennifer laughed. “Robin, you’re like rolling a snowball down a hill.”

Allison giggled at the analogy. “She’s right. This is incredible! But where’s Mrs. Beaumont?”

“She’ll be here,” Brittany spoke up from behind. I turned to see her standing with an arm around Maria, supporting her despite the crutches. Brittany and Maria both grinned at us, as the former stepped closer.

“Maria promised to help you guys out, but since she’s in no shape to walk I’m pledging in her place.”

“Wait, if you’re here to help, why have you been avoiding me at school the last couple of days?”

She genuinely laughed. “I wanted it to be a surprise. Consider it my way of saying ‘thanks’ for… you know, forgiving me for being such an ass. Besides, we’re a team. We’ve got to look out for each other right?” she glanced at Maria.

“Got that right, chica! Oh, Mrs. Beaumont said this morning she has an appointment with the cancer treatment place, but that she’d be here before things officially get underway.”

“Awesome,” Nicole answered, glancing down. “Hey, how’s the foot?”

“Better. I can put pressure on it now, but I still have to wear this stupid brace for another couple of days.”

We chatted for about five minutes before Angela glanced at her watch, then at us. As if on cue, Jason called from the crowd. “Hang on a sec!” We all turned in time to see Mrs. Beaumont approaching, and I instinctively hopped off the stage, offering a hand to help her up the stairs.

“Thank you, dear. Sorry we’re late.”

“Not at all! You’re right on time. How was your appointment?”

She smiled broadly. “I don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up, but I honestly feel better than I have since receiving the news.”

As I walked her over to where the others stood, Director Meredith took center stage, where a podium and microphone had been set up. I could see a couple of news cameras in the crowd, along with my less-than-favorite news reporter, Tina Gale standing with one of them.

“On behalf of the Girl Scouts of America I’d just like to welcome everyone to the first annual Cancer Walk.” She paused, glancing at me with a grin. “We’ll think of a more clever name before next year.” The crowd laughed as she continued. “Things have really come together for such a short-notice event, but these are extraordinary girls. I’d like to introduce one young lady in particular, whose drive and determination have earned her the nickname ‘Spirit’ among her fellow scouts. Ladies and gentlemen, Robin Smith.”

I felt my cheeks burn as the crowd cheered, and a chorus of “GO SPIRIT!” rang out from the gathered scouts at the front of the stage. I giggled a little as I stepped up to the podium and, after adjusting the microphone, cleared my throat. I was so not prepared for this.

“Um, thanks, Director Meredith. I wasn’t really expecting such a big turnout, so I didn’t prepare anything to say. I’m just going to shoot from the hip, so bear with me.” I carefully removed the microphone and stepped out from behind the podium. “Becoming a girl scout has been one of the greatest adventures of my life. I’ve made new friends, and I’ve learned a lot about myself. But the greatest lesson for me has been in finding joy in helping other people. This cancer walk came about because I learned that one of our friends’ mothers has cancer. I wanted to do something to help her, but I didn’t know what one girl could do. It just seemed so … so overwhelming.”

I paused, letting those words sink in with the crowd before continuing. “And there’s not a lot just one girl can do. But I’m not just one girl. Together, we are a troop. Beyond that, we belong to an organization dedicated to helping each other, and to helping others. When I approached my troop, they enthusiastically and overwhelmingly supported the idea of a cancer walk to raise money for research. Maybe one girl can’t make a difference, but together, as a community, we ALL can. I’d like to introduce you now to our guest of honor, Denise Beaumont.” I turned and handed the microphone to her. By now she was in tears, dabbing at her eyes with a borrowed tissue. She hugged me tightly even as she cleared her throat.

“Thank you Robin — or I should say, thank you Spirit.” She smiled fondly. “Until Robin approached me and asked that I speak as the Girl Scouts’ guest of honor here, I had all but given up hope. I was ready to just throw in the towel on life. But when she told me that not only herself, but her entire troop, an entire troop of girls that had never even met me, were willing to pledge their time and effort for cancer research, all because of me? It … It moved me. It really did. If more people were like her, this world would be a much better place. Thank you, Robin, girls, for giving me the one thing I needed most — a reason to fight, and a reason to hope.”

As she returned the microphone to the stand, a massive cheer went up from the crowd. Even Ms. Gale seemed to be moved, as I caught a glimpse of her drying her eyes as Angela stepped to the podium.

“And now, for the Cancer Walk. Each of our girls has been given a pedometer, generously loaned by the school I might add. For donations that were pledged in per-mile increments, we’ve marked each with a number corresponding to each girl, and we’ll be tallying the results over the weekend.

“There’s still time while the girls are on their walk, to pledge your donations. Just speak to myself or Director Meredith about which girl you want to pledge, and the amount.” She paused, “Oh, and as a fair warning, I know for a fact that Spirit and her friends are in excellent shape.” Again, the crowd laughed, even as I blushed a little.

The event itself was pretty straight-forward. We chose the park because the outer perimeter’s walking track remained fairly even throughout, making the actual walking part fair-and-even for everyone involved, and easier for us to keep track of how far we’d walked, as each circuit constituted about a mile for the short track, a mile and a half for the longer path.

The pedometers were a formality for legal purposes, and with the school loaning them we could ensure they were of a good quality without going out-of-pocket on expenses.

Nicole only lasted a mile and a half, but she continued to cheer us on from the sidelines, as it were, while hanging out with Maria and Jason. Brittany, Allison, Jennifer and I though, were practically in a race to see who could last the longest. By about the fifth mile the cold was starting to get to me though.

“I’m going to have to stop. I can’t feel my fingers anymore,” I joked as we approached the starting marker. Allison nodded.

“Me too. We did pretty well though. Five miles by my count!”

Brittany and Jennifer both nodded, following us back to the amphitheatre. By now, most of the crowd had of course dispersed, but a few still hung around, mostly parents and fellow scouts. They cheered as we staggered over, sitting on the stage together. Amanda bounded over, crawling up into my lap to hug me.

“That was great! You guys are in really good shape!” she giggled. I had to laugh at her enthusiasm.

“You did pretty well yourself. When I was your age there’s no way I could’ve walked a whole mile.”

“Really!?” she smiled brightly at that, hopping up again, presumably to go and tell her friends. Angela sat down beside us, patting my shoulder lightly.

“Great work Robin. Listen, I’m not supposed to tell you who, but I thought you’d like to know, someone approached me and pledged a pretty sizable donation per mile on you.” She grinned.

“Really? How much?” She tilted her clipboard toward me, with her thumb carefully covering the name. I could see the address read ‘New Haven’ though. I nearly fainted. “THAT much?!”

She nodded, and even giggled a little. “Apparently you made quite an impression on someone. Again, I can’t disclose the name because she wanted to remain anonymous, but I just thought you’d like to know. I’m really proud of all of you.”

Brittany leaned forward, raising her water bottle. “Well, my ride’s here. I’ll see you guys Monday.”

“Hey, Brittany?” I called after her as she stood.

“Yeah?”

“I’m babysitting Sunday night, but if you want to come over on Saturday, we usually hang out at Allison’s in the evening, after I get home from my doctor’s appointment in New Haven. You’re welcome to join us.”

She smiled a little and nodded. “Sounds like fun. Sure, I’ll see if I can come over.”

Nicole slowly turned to stare at me.

“… What?”

She laughed. “You are unbelievable, woman. I swear to God you’d be a scary politician.”

Angela giggled. “Maybe you should run for class president?”

“Ugh, no thank you. I’ve got enough on my plate as it is, plus gymnastics in the Spring, Girl Scout and maybe cheer camp over summer. I’ll support Ally for the role though.”

Allison sputtered, shooting a glare. “Don’t you dare.” She started laughing. “Come on, let’s get you home so you can thaw your fingers out before you have to go to Kenpo tonight.”

“Good idea,” I responded, turning to hug Angela and hand her my pedometer. “I’ll see you and Amanda this Sunday. Thanks again for helping with all this.”

“Of course! And thank YOU for agreeing to be my new sitter. I’m really excited about this weekend!” she responded cheerfully.

As we walked out to the parking lot, we found Jason, Maria, and Mrs. Beaumont standing beside a white minivan talking. Maria suddenly pointed at me, causing the other two to turn. Jason approached, stopping about a foot away.

“Robin, hey…” he said rather softly.

“Hey.”

“Listen, about… all this…” he fumbled his words, turning back to Maria who, despite the crutches managed to give him an encouraging ‘go on!’ motion. He turned back to me. “Thanks.” He quickly turned to walk back over to Maria. She shot me a grin as he helped her into the van, while Mrs. Beaumont approached, wrapping me in another hug.

“Thank you for everything, Robin. I meant every word I said up there. You’ve given me so much. Even if the worst should happen, I know Jason won’t be alone now, but I don’t believe the worst will happen anymore. I’m going to fight this, and I’m going to win.” She smiled broadly as she turned, moving around to get into the minivan. Jason pulled the sliding door closed, then approached me again. If only for a very brief moment, he wrapped his arms around me. He then quite quickly retreated to the safety of the passenger side of the car. I couldn’t help but smile as I watched them drive away.

Not I, but WE had given them a reason to hope, to fight, and to win, and raised quite a sizable amount of money for research in the process. As I joined Nicole and the others in her waiting Mustang, I started to wonder who the mysterious benefactor could be. The address meant it wasn’t anyone in Alpine Springs, and Doctor Ketz wasn’t anywhere to be seen so it couldn’t have been her.

For now I resolved to put it out of my head. With the cancer walk behind us, I could now relax and enjoy the weekend, and the coming snow! Snowmen, snowball fights, snow-in-your-underwear from making snow angels… I wanted to experience it all!

~* Mending Fences, Building Bridges *~ “The first thing you need to learn is how to make a proper snowball,” Jennifer began immediately. She bent down and scooped up a handful of snow, and I watched as she gently packed it. “The trick is not to pack it too tightly for maximum spread on the splat.” Nicole giggled. “Plus if you hit ‘em just right, it goes right down their back that way.” Allison, as if on cue, scooped up a handful of loose snow, grabbed the hood of Nicole’s jacket, and dumped it down her sweater. Nicole shrieked, spinning around to glare at Allison, who by now had high-tailed it for the other side of Margie’s car, taking up a defensive position. “Oh you are SO dead!” she shouted with a laugh, grabbing a handful of snow. Jennifer and I looked at each other and grinned, and as I grabbed myself the makings of a proper snowball, she bolted past Nicole to bolster Allison’s position.

---

I remembered, when I finally rolled out of bed Saturday morning, that I’d woken up once before during the night. Everything seemed so bright outside my window, but not like daylight. It was different, as though everything cast its own mild glow in the moonlight. I had been so exhausted from Kenpo practice and the cancer walk though, that I just rolled over and went right back to sleep. Now though, even with my curtains pulled shut, I’d had time to mentally process it. Something wasn’t right.

I slowly eased the covers back, only my bare feet not protected by my floor length white night gown. I slowly padded across the room, and pulling the curtains open, peeked outside. Everywhere a fresh blanket of snow completely obscured our once green cul-de-sac. The street looked like it had been swept clear, but we must have had a foot of snow on our driveway. I squealed and giggled like a little girl as I raced out of my bedroom and down the stairs, Mom and Margie practically barreling in from the kitchen to see what was wrong.

“It snowed!” I laughed as I flung open the front door. That … lasted all of about three seconds. “Yikes!” I squeaked as I closed the door again. I hadn’t anticipated the difference in our nicely central-heated home and the frigid wind outside! Margie laughed.

“I guess I’ve just gotten used to it. If you’re in the mood to go have a look though you’re welcome to go clear the driveway; Joe and Carol have a shovel you can borrow.”

“Sure!” I responded without a second thought, turning to start back up the stairs. About halfway up I heard Mom calling after me.

“Do you want some breakfast first? I was just about to cook some sausage and eggs for your sister and myself.”

“That sounds great; oh, and a glass of orange juice, please!” I called back from the top of the stairs just before stepping into my room. I’d no sooner reached my closet when my cell phone’s generic, classical musical ringtone started to sound off. I jumped slightly and grabbed the offending device from my makeup table even as I stepped into my closet.

“Robin’s phone, Robin speaking.”

Nicole’s cheerful voice answered, “Morning cutie. Have you looked outside yet?”

“Yes! It’s so gorgeous out there. I’m just about to get dressed then go clear the driveway.”

“Jeeze, don’t sound so excited!” she laughed. “Anyway, are we still on for lunch?”

“Totally! Sensei’s taking Mom out and Margie’s going to be busy getting the latest Aria Blade finished, and of course Ally and Kelly have their sister bonding thing-”

“You mean shopping, right?”

“Is there any other kind?” I teased, causing her to giggle. As I laid out a dark hunter green turtleneck sweater, she continued.

“I still can’t believe you talked Brit into coming over and hang out.”

“I know, right? I seriously didn’t expect her to say yes. Maybe she’s just tired of not having any real friends, kinda like Andrea.”

“Maybe. Is it me or are you running seriously low on enemies lately?”

“Hey, don’t knock it. We’ve still got to get through the holidays.” I set out a pair of faded jeans and my white v-neck knit sweater then sat down on my bed, stretching out. “God my feet are cold!”

“Poor baby. Want me to come warm you up?”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, vampire. You’ve got your hands full keeping your dad in line don’t you?”

She giggled. “Naw. Mom’s temporarily hired a nutritionist. We’re off the hook.”

“Ooh, well in that case, I guess we’re free to spend the day together?”

“I was hoping you’d say that. Hurry up and clear your driveway so I can come get you!”

I giggled a little. “Alright. Gimme about… Oh, thirty minutes.”

Someone knocked at the bedroom door. I glanced up to see Nicole, bundled up in a heavy winter coat and purple knit headband. She waved a gloved hand at me and giggled. “I guess I’ll just have to come back later. Cute night gown,” she teased.

I turned off my phone and leapt from my bed. Seeing me coming, she shut hers off as well, catching me in a hug. “Well, good morning to you too,” she giggled as she kissed my forehead.

“Sorry. I’m just really excited.” I kissed her cheek then pulled away to gather my clothes.

“I noticed. Ally’s downstairs and Jen’s probably raiding the kitchen by now. We figured since this was your first snow that we’d get up early and introduce you properly.”

“You guys are the best,” I called after her as she turned to step out, giving me some privacy to change. I’d ‘officially’ been a girl for some four months now, and I’d even developed outwardly to the point where, at least from my head to my waist, I looked like any other girl, if a little underdeveloped for my age, but there were some things that would just have to wait until after graduation. Plus even if Nicole and I were more girl friends than ‘girlfriends’, I don’t think either of us was really ready to see the other without clothing just yet. It was complicated.

For her part, Nicole had a troubled past before Bob and Gina. Sometimes I wondered if her declaration of lesbianism wasn’t more a psychological avoidance of the males of our species. I worried from time to time that she might not accept me after completing my transition, but we’d been dating, and going steady, for a few months now. We’d been through hell and high school together, and I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else, so I’d force myself to put those thoughts out of my mind completely and not worry about the ‘what if’ that would probably never come.

Even though Mom cooked extra when she learned of our unexpected breakfast guests, we still completely wiped out the stock. Nine eggs, seven pieces of sausage, and a half a gallon of orange juice later — and that was just us girls — I pulled on a pair of gloves, grabbed my heavier white suede-lined coat from the hall closet, and followed the girls outside.

“The first thing you need to learn is how to make a proper snowball,” Jennifer began immediately. She bent down and scooped up a handful of snow, and I watched as she gently packed it. “The trick is not to pack it too tightly for maximum spread on the splat.”

Nicole giggled. “Plus if you hit ‘em just right, it goes right down their back that way.”

Allison, as if on cue, scooped up a handful of loose snow, grabbed the hood of Nicole’s jacket, and dumped it down her sweater.

Nicole shrieked, spinning around to glare at Allison, who by now had high-tailed it for the other side of Margie’s car, taking up a defensive position. “Oh you are SO dead!” she shouted with a laugh, grabbing a handful of snow. Jennifer and I looked at each other and grinned, and as I grabbed myself the makings of a proper snowball, she bolted past Nicole to bolster Allison’s position.

I’d love to say that what followed was the snowball fight to end all snowball fights, but being that this was my first, I didn’t really have any prior knowledge to base it on. I do know that by around nine, when we called a truce and started working on a snowman family, I felt as though I’d been sitting in the school cafeteria’s walk-in freezer for hours.

Allison gave me a very serious look. “Robin, are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah, why?” I asked as I glanced over, having just jabbed a carrot-nose into the last snowman’s face.

Jennifer turned me around next. “You’re starting to turn red. Let’s get you inside.”

“Guys, really I’m okay,” I offered, but they would have none of it, ushering me quickly inside.

“Does your face feel hot or tingly?” Allison continued. Now that she mentioned it…

“Yeah, a little. It’s not bad though.”

“Good. You’re not acclimated to the cold so you need to take it slow. Don’t worry though. By the time we get to the big ski trip you’ll be a regular polar bear.”

Nicole giggled. “Just the thought of Robin on skis... Man, that’s gonna be fun.”

I had to laugh. “You just want to see me fall on my butt. I’m really looking forward to it though. When’s the best time to go anyway?”

Jennifer stepped over to our refrigerator to fill the tea kettle from our purified water dispenser as she responded. “Probably sometime in December since it’s after Thanksgiving, but before Christmas. We still need to discuss where, too: not that it matters much to me,” she turned to set the kettle on to heat, stepping back over to us. “Snow is snow, as long as there’s a big enough incline to show off.”

“That she does,” Nicole laughed. “You haven’t seen hot-dogging until you’ve seen Jen on the slopes.”

“Oh hush you!” she laughed. “Just because I can lift an inverted 720 without beefing.” The three of us stared blankly at her, causing her to giggle. “Okay, I’m just making that one up. I just wanted to see the looks on your faces.” She grinned. “Besides, I’m no aerialist. It’s fun to catch some big air, but I’m not out to break my neck either.”

“Yee-ah,” I answered as I walked over to the sink, fishing out our fresh box of hot cocoa mix from the overhead cabinet. “I think I’ll just watch you and stick to hanging out at the lodge and looking cute and innocent.”

She laughed, turning the burner off as the kettle began to whistle, and pouring hot water into four mugs as I passed out spoons and drink packets. “It’s not that hard to learn, really. You just have to master keeping your balance. I guess I’ve got that part knocked out because I’ve been doing this stuff all my life. Surfing, boarding, gymnastics... To me, a board is home, be it a surfboard or a balance board. Just remember what we said the first day of swim practice.”

“Don’t drink the lake water?” Nicole offered with an amused grin.

She cracked up, shaking her head. “The OTHER thing. We won’t let you drown.”

We spent the rest of the morning indoors, sipping cocoa and watching movies, and I’m relieved to report that the mild frostbite I did experience went away as quickly as it was noticed. Although I had joked that morning about having Nicole all to myself all day, I was happy Jennifer accepted our offer to stick around after Allison left to go shopping with her sister Kelly. I received a call from my therapist letting me know that she’d have to postpone our session this week, but we had already been discussing moving to a two week arrangement anyway, though it just meant more bonding time for the three of us.

Later that afternoon as we were walking over to Allison’s house, an older woman driving a turquoise SUV pulled into Allison’s driveway. More importantly though was her passenger, our team co-captain, dressed in a cute long-sleeved top and matched black jacket. She glanced back at the driver with a reassuring smile, though the woman sat and watched as Brittany approached, only pulling away after she and I exchanged a quick hug.

“Hey Brit. Glad you could make it.”

She rolled her shoulders. “I wasn’t going to come at first, but… Well dad promised he’d be home this weekend, but he had an emergency business trip to New York City so… Anyway-” she paused, turning to stare at the snowmen we’d made that morning. She shook her head slowly. “You guys are so… weird.”

“Good weird or bad weird?” Nicole asked with a completely serious expression.

Brittany hesitated to respond, but Nicole didn’t give her a chance to, giggling as she offered her hand. “I’m just messing with you. Come on, let’s go inside before we all freeze.”

Taking the offered hand, she smiled a little. “Thanks.”

“Hey,” Allison spoke up, breaking the mild tension that had developed as we led her inside, “You like tacos? My mom makes like, the best tacos.”

“She does,” I echoed. “They’re sort of a Saturday tradition.”

“Awesome,” she answered quietly. I could tell something was seriously bothering her, but I didn’t want to intrude too far just yet, so I left it alone for now. After a quick tour of the first floor, including a stop off to pick up the aforementioned spicy afternoon eats, we congregated around the wood bar, Nicole and I leaning against it from behind while Allison, Jennifer and Brittany each took a bar stool.

“Sorry guys,” Brittany finally sighed. “I’m ruining your fun. I’ll just call my Mom to come pick me up.”

“Hey, no you don’t,” Jennifer answered as she turned to face her. “You’re not ruining anybody’s fun. But you know if you need to talk about something we’ll listen.”

She stared at Jennifer for a long moment, finally sighing as she set her can of root beer aside. “I’m just kind of pissed off at my Dad right now. He promised — PROMISED he’d be home this weekend, but something came up … Surprise surprise.”

She looked like she was about to start crying, so I slipped around behind Nicole, moving to her side to put an arm around her waist. She shifted her weight, sliding off the barstool to put her head on my shoulder. Jennifer slid down off her stool and stepped closer, putting her hand on Brittany’s shoulder. Brittany let go of me with a sniff, clearing her throat.

“Thanks. I’m just so tired of him never being around. And Mom sticks up for him like it’s no big deal. You guys are great, but I have to be honest with you… I’m kind of jealous. I know you said back during Homecoming that your life wasn’t that easy and all, but we can talk trade anytime. I’d kill for what you guys have.”

I had to laugh a little at that. “No, you wouldn’t, if you know what we’ve been through.”

“What’s the big secret, anyway?” she asked abruptly, but innocently. “The… using the coaches’ office and the secret meetings with the principal and stuff?”

I bit my lip, but Jennifer spoke up before I could answer. “That part’s private, but that’s not what makes us close. Did you hear about that sexual predator who was arrested in our area back in June?”

“Sure. It was all over the news. My mom freaked and wouldn’t let me go anywhere alone for a week because he targeted … two girls…” She trailed off, staring blankly at me.

I slowly nodded. “Allison and I were just out jogging like we always did.”

Allison spoke up next. “I’ve been going to therapy for months to try and deal with the issues and the terrible nightmares from that day. I’m still not ‘better’, but I’m getting there.”

Nicole added a moment later, “And when I was little, my father — my real father, abused me. That’s why we tend to be really close. We’ve all been through shit together or separately. Robin helped me face facts about my sexuality that I wasn’t brave enough to deal with alone, and yes, we’re dating, but we’re still friends.”

Brittany exhaled slowly. “Robin, I’m… really sorry about what happened during Homecoming. I wasn’t lying when I told you I didn’t put that jerk up to harassing you guys. I know it looked bad because I started giving you shit again later, but you have to believe I’d never go that far.”

“I know you wouldn’t. Brit, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“… What?” she looked a little uneasily at me, but I smiled, and hugged her.

“Coach Wilson has on two separate occasions asked me about you. The second time was just before she announced the co-captains. She confided in me that she was riding you pretty hard specifically to see if you could handle the pressure.”

“Are you saying you’re the reason I’m co-captain?” she asked, surprised, but I shook my head.

“No, I’m saying you earned it.”

She smiled, returning my earlier hug. “Thanks Robin. You don’t know how much I needed to hear that, especially today.”

“I know your dad’ll come around eventually. He has to.”

“Maybe. Anyway, can I ask you guys a really big favor?”

Allison rolled her shoulders. “Sure. What is it?”

She glanced toward the pool table with a grin. “Can you guys teach me to play?”

Nicole laughed. “Ohh yeah, but I’ve got to warn you, Robin’s a real pool shark.”

“What? It’s just basic math,” I teased, as Jennifer set up the table.

The next evening brought my first babysitting job, so I made plans accordingly. Mom dropped me off at five, and since I didn’t know yet when the Greers would be back, Margie offered to come give me a ride home later. For the actual evening, Angela mentioned Amanda loved Disney movies, so I wasn’t too worried about finding plenty to keep Amanda busy. Mostly though I was looking forward to spending some quality time with her.

Ever since camp I’d had a bit of an attachment to her anyway, but with everything that was going on I just never had time to come visit, so the babysitting job was the perfect opportunity to earn a little spending money, some bonus points with my would-be coach slash troop leader, and hang out with the coolest little girl I knew. Granted I only knew one, but still!

I couldn’t help feeling a little nervous though as I stood in the snow on their doorstep, waiting for someone to answer the doorbell. I kept my hands buried in my pockets, counted to thirty mentally, and rang a second time. This time, a tall, lanky fellow with just the very first hints of graying sideburns answered. He stared down at me for only a moment before smiling and offering his hand. “You must be the sitter Angela mentioned — Robin, right?”

“Yes sir,” I answered as we shook hands. He laughed, shaking his head as he motioned me inside.

“You don’t have to call me ‘Sir’. Just Steve. Angela’s told me so much about you that I feel as though I already know you though.”

“She has? Err… how much exactly?” He didn’t know about… No, she wouldn’t tell him THAT, would she?

He grinned. “Helping organize that cancer walk for starters, but quite a bit about what a strong, positive role model you’ve been for Amanda. Speaking of which she’s up in her room if you want to go say ‘Hello’. Angela should be ready in a minute to go over ground rules. Oh, first door on the left,” he added. I found my way to the hardwood stairs, and had no sooner reached the top when Amanda’s door flew open, the little bundle of blonde hair and energy racing out to greet me.

“SPIRIT!” she bubbled excitedly. I knelt to wrap her in a hug, kissing her forehead.

“Hey little sis!” I responded. She giggled and threw her arms around me. “Would you like to show me your bedroom while we wait for your Mom to finish getting ready?”

She nodded quickly, turning to point toward her bedroom, grabbing my hand to pull me along. I almost felt as though I’d stepped back in time to when I first arrived in Alpine Springs. A sea of pink awaited me, only this sea of pink included stuffed animals and Barbies all in neat little rows on shelves.

“This is my bed, and this is my stuffed bear, Mogey”

I giggled. “I’ve got a stuffed gorilla named Mister Kensington that never leaves my bed.”

“Really?” she asked with wide-eyed amazement. I had to laugh at her surprised reaction, nodding.

“You’re never too old for stuffed animals. Especially ones given to you by friends.”

“Oh, this is my dollhouse, buuut it’s kind of a mess,” she continued to give me a tour of her room, and admittedly I was so engrossed in what she had to say that I didn’t even hear the three inch heels in the hallway behind me. Angela cleared her throat, causing me to spin to face her. She looked stunning! Her black sequined dress and the aforementioned heels were a far cry from the usual t-shirt and jeans I had grown accustomed to seeing her in, and with her already slim figure, she looked positively gorgeous in that dress.

She giggled under her breath. “Thank you again for agreeing to watch her Robin.”

“Oh, it’s no problem! Wow, you look beautiful! Not that you don’t normally, but… Wow!”

She laughed, offering a sheepish smile. “Between school, scouts, and raising Amanda, Steve and I haven’t really done anything like this for some time now. I posted a list of emergency numbers on the fridge, plus money for pizza if you decide to invite someone over. Our next door neighbors know you’re here if there’s a problem. Amanda needs to be in bed by nine, and no sweets after seven.”

I nodded as I listened, and I couldn’t help smiling a little as these rules sounded all-too-familiar. When she finished, we exchanged a hug, and Amanda and I followed her downstairs. After she and Steve gave their daughter a goodbye hug, and after she promised to be good, they stepped out, leaving us alone.

“Well, where to start? Do you want to watch a movie while I cook you some dinner?”

“Ooh, ooh, can I watch ‘Beauty and the Beast’? Belle is so pretty!” she bubbled. I had to giggle. “Of course. You know it was my favorite when I was your age too. My big sister used to babysit for me all the time, and I was forever bugging her to put it in for me. What do you want for dinner?”

“Umm… Mac and cheese?”

“I can do that,” I answered, and after helping her get her movie started, stepped into the kitchen. I hadn’t been five minutes though, before I caught a glimpse of her peeking around the corner of the kitchen door at me. I giggled a little and motioned for her to come over.

“Everything okay?”

She nodded timidly. “You said Beauty and the Beast was your favorite, so I paused it so you could come watch too.” She smiled sweetly, completely melting my heart.

“Aw, you’re such a sweetheart,” I offered and knelt to hug her, causing her to giggle. A moment later she pulled up a small stepstool, standing up on it to watch me cook.

“That smells really good!” she cheered. I suddenly had an idea.

“Your mommy said no sweets after seven, but I can teach you how to make a sweet treat that’s better than cookies, and you can have it before bed.”

Her eyes lit right up. “Really?! What is it?”

“Well, let’s see what we’ve got to work with.” I turned down the burner just a bit since I wouldn’t be watching it like a hawk, and turned to pull down a small platter from one of the cabinets. I stepped over to the refrigerator, even as Amanda moved her step-stool over to the counter. I returned a few seconds later with a few celery stalks and a box of raisins. Predictably, Amanda wrinkled her nose.

“Eww! I thought you said this was sweet?”

I giggled. “It will be. Trust me!”

“Okay, but I’m watching you!” she laughed, and watched as I retrieved a jar of peanut butter. After carefully slicing the celery into two inch pieces, I spread some peanut butter on a piece, carefully placing a few raisins at even intervals, then offered it for her to try.

She bit down on it, chewed, and slowly smiled. “Wow! That’s really good!”

I laughed. “I told you! It’s called ‘Ants on a log’, and it’s really easy to make. Just make sure you have a grown-up cut the celery for you, okay? I cut up some extra so you can make some after school tomorrow, though.”

She nodded excitedly, continuing to chew her pre-dinner snack. I made a few more, setting the rest of the celery back in the refrigerator before returning to the mac-n-cheese.

After dinner, I sent her off to wash up and get into her pajamas while I cleaned up the kitchen. Angela forgot to mention if I should see to it Amanda got her bath, so I made a mental note to ask her about it when she came home. For now though, I stepped back into the living room, where Amanda sat on the sofa across from the television, dressed in the most adorable little lace nightgown. I had to giggle a little when I saw her sitting there, just waiting for me. I couldn’t help again, remembering all the times Margie sat for me when I was little. Apart from the nightgown and the longer hair, she reminded me a lot of myself at that age.

I moved closer and sat down beside her, wrapping her in a hug as she pulled her Disney Princesses blanket up over her and snuggled into me. “Comfy?” I asked, getting another excited nod, and reaching out to pick up the remote control from a stack of magazines scattered across the coffee table.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I probably cried more than she did during the movie. I’d blame those damn hormones, except that I always cried, and laughed, and sang along… By the end of it, barely seven-thirty, she lay fast asleep with her head in my lap. I gently eased her up enough to stand and gently let her back down again, and perusing the Greers’ DVD collection, quickly found both Beauty and the Beast’s box, and another movie to watch, this time dropping in ‘The Little Mermaid.’

Amanda stirred, yawning as I returned to the sofa. “Mmm… What’cha watchin’ now?” she asked sleepily.

“I just put in The Little Mermaid, unless there’s something else you want to watch?”

She grinned, quickly returning to her place at my side as she shook her head. “Nooo, I love Ariel, almost as much as Belle!” she seemed to be perking up a bit from her brief nap. I giggled, leaning down to kiss the top of her head as the movie began.

I imagined she must have had a busy day playing in the snow, judging by the Amanda-sized snowman by the front porch. That would at least explain why she fell asleep toward the end of the second movie. This time I scooped her up in my arms and carried her up to bed. As I tucked her in, she stirred long enough to mumble, “’Night… Spirit…”

I leaned down to kiss her cheek, whispering, “Sweet dreams,” and quietly creeping back out again. I had only just begun to straighten the living room when I heard a car door shut outside. A quick glance out the window after turning on the front light revealed Angela and Steve, laughing and holding hands as they walked up the front path. I pulled the door open to let them inside.

“Hi Robin,” Angela smiled broadly. “We decided not to have dinner after the show after all … Where’s Amanda?”

I giggled. “Asleep upstairs.”

“Already?” She turned to look at Steve, who glanced at his watch. He gave a surprised chuckle.

“It’s barely nine. Usually it’s a fight to get her to go to bed.”

“I figured she probably wore herself out during the day. She fell asleep twice during the movies, so I finally just carried her up to bed.”

“Thank you so much for taking such good care of her. You can come sit for us anytime,” Angela responded, even as she reached into her purse. Steve caught her hand though, shaking his head as he retrieved his wallet.

“Here, let me,” he added, pulling two crisp twenty dollar bills and offering them to me.

“B-but that’s…”

“More than we promised, I know.” He grinned. “I insist.”

“Well alright, if you’re sure,” I answered hesitantly, accepting his offer. “Oh, I didn’t invite anyone over after all so your pizza money’s still on the fridge. Also, I hope it’s okay that I taught Amanda how to make ‘ants on a log’ — it’s basically peanut butter and raisins on celery. I sliced some up for her to make herself a snack tomorrow, but she might be pestering you guys about it since she seemed to like them so much.”

They both stared, stunned, at each other, Angela finally responding. “You… got Amanda… to eat celery.”

“Err… yes? It’s my sister’s fault, honestly.” I giggled. “I hated vegetables when I was Amanda’s age, but Margie came up with this brilliant idea to make them taste sweet without adding sugar or anything. I still make them once in awhile. Oh, speaking of which, I’d better call her. She’s supposed to come pick me up.”

They both nodded, Angela adding, “I’m going to go check in on Amanda, and I need to get out of these shoes too.”

As she turned to head upstairs, Steve pulled off his jacket and stepped into the kitchen, and I took out my cell phone to call Margie. When I’d finished, I found Steve in the kitchen, sipping a glass of water. He smiled as he raised his glass.

“Thank you again for watching Amanda. When my mother passed away, we just … didn’t know who else to turn to. She had always watched Amanda, and my sister-in-law Meredith just lives too far away to really impose on her like that.”

“It’s no problem, really. Like I told Angela last weekend, if I had a little sister, I’d want her to be just like her. She really is an amazing kid.”

“And she worships the ground you walk on,” he joked. “When she came home from camp you were literally all she could talk about.”

I felt my cheeks burning intensely at that. I slowly stepped closer, glancing down. “Truth be told, I felt really guilty about what happened to her. I know it wasn’t my fault that she fell, and… I found out later that if I hadn’t gotten there when I did it could’ve been a lot worse, but I was the one that convinced her to go in the first place.”

“Hey now, wait a minute. You don’t still blame yourself for that do you?” he asked, gently brushing his finger under my chin enough to get me to look him in the eye. I smiled as I shook my head.

“No, not anymore. I mean, the camp experience was just so overwhelmingly positive for me as a teenager, I can’t begin to imagine how much fun she had even despite what happened.”

“Exactly. I know when I was a boy scout some of my happiest memories were of going to summer camps. They really prepare you for the future in ways you don’t realize at the time.”

Angela poked her head around the corner and smiled at us. “Robin, your sister’s here.”

“Oh, thanks!” I answered, turning to Steve.

He smiled, offering a good-natured wave. “Take care, and thanks again.”

“Anytime!” I answered and turned to step out of the kitchen. I found Margie waiting in her car, and as I sat down, setting my purse down in the floor board, she gave me that same sisterly grin from the other day.

“Well?”

I laughed. “Well what?”

As we pulled out of the driveway, she gave me a playful nudge. “You know perfectly well ‘well what’ young lady. How did it go?”

“Great! It turns out having a great babysitter paid off. Apparently Amanda’s more like me at that age than I realized.” Before she could ask, I grinned. “Ants on a log.”

She started laughing. “Oh my, you still remember those?”

“Remember? I still eat them!” I giggled. “And apparently now Amanda will too. I was going to bake some cookies with her, but then Angela said no sweets after seven, so I figured it’d be a safer bet, never mind being healthier.”

“Yeah, they’re a great alternative. I wondered where my celery kept disappearing to. I just thought Linda was having a craving,” she giggled. “I’m really proud of you, kiddo. You’ve really come a long way, and it sounds like you made an impression on your future coach too.”

“Yeah. It’s going to be an interesting year next year.”

“Oh, when we get home, your mom wants you to come talk to her in the kitchen. She’s brewing some herbal tea for you both.”

Uh oh. Herbal tea meant one of two things, and considering she had a date with Sensei earlier, it meant a serious talk was coming. I frowned.

“What happened?” I asked, assuming the worst.

Margie giggled as she pulled into the drive, turning to face me after shutting off the car’s engine. “I really shouldn’t say anything. It’s not exactly my place, but I promise it’s nothing bad. Come on, Linda’s waiting.”

Nervously, I grabbed my purse and followed Margie inside. She helped me with my coat, but didn’t follow me when I moved to head for the kitchen.

“Aren’t you coming?” I asked, as I looked back. She smiled, but shook her head.

“This is Mother-Daughter time.”

“Oh, bah. You’re technically her step-daughter you know,” I grinned, grabbing her hand and pulling her along. She giggled a little, squeezing my hand.

“Oh, alright. But I already know what she’s going to say.”

As I pulled her into the kitchen, I replied, “Yes, but I don’t, and I want the moral support.”

Mom, sitting in her night gown and bathrobe, had just finished steeping three cups of tea. Like all mothers everywhere, my Mother was a mind reader, and knew precisely how her daughter would react, apparently, and planned ahead accordingly. She grinned at us as she motioned for us to join her.

“I figured you’d make Margie sit in on this. Robin, there’s something I need to discuss with you about the future, yours and mine.”

“Mom? … What’s going on?” I reached an unsteady hand out to pick up my teacup, sipping slowly, letting the hot vapors wash over and renew my chilled body. Meanwhile Mom just sort of smiled a neutral but loving motherly smile.

“Ash, Sensei Rogers has… Well… He’s asked me to marry him.”

I suddenly felt both faint and giddy at the same time. I stared at her for a long silent moment, unsure quite how to respond. She seemed to take my silence as apprehension.

“I told him I’d have to think about it, but that it wasn’t a ‘no’ per se. It’s just… there’s so much that may change. Of course I’d move in with him, but then what would that mean for you? That’s if I’m even ready to marry again. I just don’t know.”

Finally shaking out the cobwebs, I stood and threw my arms around her. “Mom, what are you saying? What is there to think about? If you love him, you should marry him!”

She smiled broadly at that, tears welling up for both of us as she stood and wrapped her arms around me. I gently set my head on her shoulder as she held me close. “I do love him, but I’m scared… I don’t want things to change for you any more than they have to.”

“Mom, I love living here with Margie, but it’s not like Sensei Rogers lives in another city or anything. And Nicole can drive.”

“You know you’d be more than welcome to continue living here too, Robin,” Margie added. “Even if I do ever find ‘Mister Right’ … Or hell, ‘Ms. Right’, if that’s where my destiny lies, you’ll always have a home here.”

I smiled down at my sister at that. I loved her so much. She had always been there for me. I reached out to take her hand, pulling her up into a group hug.

“We’ll figure out the logistics later. Right now we need to talk wedding plans.”

Mom giggled a little at that. “Now wait a minute. I still need to give him an answer first! But you’re right. We need to start planning.”

Margie grinned impishly. “Lucky for you I happen to know a wedding dress designer who caters to the fabulously wealthy on a global scale.”

“And Sensei Rogers already knows where I stand on all this. He’s a good man, Mom. I couldn’t be happier for you.”

She kissed my forehead, squeezing me close. “Thank you… Both of you.”

“I have to go get Nikki, Jen and Ally on conference. There’s no way I can share the good news one-at-a-time or I’ll be up all night giggling,” I responded, and after a quick kiss for both Mom and my sister, raced off to find the cordless phone.

It’s funny how life works like that. One near-fatal accident had completely turned my life upside-down, and despite all the rough patches since then, things had never been better. I could only hope things would continue to improve. I knew one thing for sure though, Kenpo practice would never be the same.

~* The Runaway *~ Allison glanced at me, but I shook my head. Enough people already knew about me. I wasn’t ready to add to that list just yet — neither Trent, nor Kathy. “I know the name of a really good therapist. She deals with LGBT patients, and she’s treated both me and Allison after the Raggedy Man stuff too.” Okay, so I had been seeing Dr. Ketz before that horrible incident, but still. Allison nodded. “Barbara’s REALLY good.” She suddenly cut herself off, staring at someone behind me. I shifted in my chair, glancing from Allison, following her gaze. Despite the change in hair color to a deep, rich auburn, I’d have recognized that vulnerable, sad smile anywhere.

---

Author's Note:
This is a long chapter with a LOT going on, so I'm employing the same ~oOo~ scene breaks that I used in "A Trick ... or a Treat?" to help with that.

Also, I tried to strike a balance between the light-hearted and the serious stuff, but I'll go ahead and warn you, you might want to keep a box of tissues handy. This is a heavy chapter :-)
~Zoe

---

Euphoria: that’s the only word I could have used for how I felt going to bed that night. Sensei Rogers and Mom were engaged! Of course they still had to set a proper date, make wedding plans, and ultimately we had to decide about my fate as well, but I think I already knew what I wanted. I’d spent the last six months with Margie. Her home felt like my home, and at least for now, where I belonged.

I had a compromise in mind that I hoped might make everyone happy, but I needed a better way to word it as calling it ‘like having two sets of parents’ sounded almost as bad as ‘like when two people are divorced.’ I felt certain I’d figure it out eventually, hopefully after the stress of the Holidays, basketball season, and the like were well behind us.

Having a stepfather sounded amazing. I never had a real father figure in my life excepting Allison and Kelly’s dad Joe, and Sensei Rogers never had a daughter, let alone a teenage daughter, to look out for. We both would have a lot to learn, but for Mom, I think we’d have both run the minute mile barefoot across broken glass, and thought ourselves better for it.

Monday came far too quickly. As I stirred awake, I suddenly became aware of another presence in my room. I rolled over, switching on the small lamp on my nightstand. Mom smiled and sat down on the edge of my bed.

“Morning sweetheart,” she whispered softly. She leaned down to kiss my forehead, brushing the messy locks of morning-frizz from my face. I giggled a little as I took her hand and squeezed it.

“Morning Mom. Everything okay?”

She nodded. “Yes, everything’s wonderful. I just … Well you ran off so fast last night to talk to your friends that I didn’t get a chance to really talk to you about what all this means for your living situation.”

Before she could continue, I pulled myself back as I sat up, resting my back against my bed’s headboard. I thought I’d had more time to think about how to approach this subject, but if it would allay her fears, then I’d let her in on what the girls and I decided last night. I leaned forward to hug her.

“We talked about that last night — the girls and I, I mean. Part of me really doesn’t want to leave the convenience of having Ally and Kelly right next door, and I love being able to be right here when Margie needs me or vice versa.

“At the same time though, I don’t want to feel like I’m abandoning you, and I don’t want Sensei Rogers to feel that way either, that I’m just shutting you guys out. He knows exactly how I feel about this already.” I grinned rather impishly at that. “I told him about Margie’s Mom, Aunt Jane being a world-renowned wedding dress designer when he chauffeured me in the Homecoming parade.”

“You little imp!” Mom responded in a playfully chastising tone. Her blatant giggle suggested she meant nothing by it, and caused me to start laughing too.

“Sorry? He’s a good guy, and honestly I’m honored to have him as a step-dad. Anyway, what we worked out is … Well, we don’t exactly know what to call it, but basically I could spend certain days on a rotating schedule with Margie or you, based on what my schedule’s like. As far as the holidays go I’ve already told Nicole I’d be with her for Thanksgiving, but I haven’t made any Christmas plans.”

“Ash’s family all live in the greater New York state area. I’ll probably be going with him to visit them. I figured you’d still want to be with Nicole this year, but his family really wants to meet you just the same.” I felt my heart sink at those words. I didn’t want to disappoint Mom or Sensei, but I wanted to be with Nicole too.

Mom though, cupped my face in her hands. She had the sort of grin on her face I’d been accused of having when I was up to something. “That’s why we’re giving you an early Christmas present.”

“I’ll say it’s early,” I giggled. “What is it?”

“Wait here,” she replied, leaning forward to kiss my forehead again before standing and relinquishing my face. I watched, puzzled, as she left the room, and a few seconds later returned with a brightly wrapped box. Margie slowly peeked around the corner with her digital camera in-hand, but my attention remained focused on this unusual development. I tore open the paper, taking note of the ‘From’ tag bearing ‘With Love, Mom and Ash ‘Sensei’ Rogers’.

At first, all I found was a standard freight-shipping cardboard box, but as more of the bright wrapping fell away, I found the word ‘DELL’ on the side. I blinked a few times, turning to stare at Mom. She grinned.

“I know you didn’t seem to mind that our old dinosaur didn’t survive the move, but Ash and I talked it over, and decided that we needed to get you into the 21st century. This way, when we get everyone together for Thanksgiving, you can say ‘hi’ via webcam without disrupting your plans with Nicole.”

I could feel tears welling up, a couple of camera flashes following as I stood to hug Mom. Sure, I was still in my pajamas, no makeup, hair a complete mess, but I didn’t care. It felt like Christmas morning two months early! Mom smiled warmly as I lost myself in her embrace, sobbing uncontrollably into her shoulder.

“Thank you so much. This must have cost a fortune though!” I wept.

“They have special deals for students. You can use this to help with your homework and stay in touch with your friends, too.”

“Tell Sensei I said thank you, if you see him before I do, and give him a big hug too,” I bubbled happily.

“I will, sweetheart. You can tell him at your game tonight though, if you prefer.”

“But… it’s an away game?” I stared at her in surprise, but she just nodded, grinning. I couldn’t help it. I squealed excitedly, the hug-and-tearfest repeating itself anew.

“Wait, I’m confused though … Last night you said that you hadn’t made up your mind if you were going to say yes, but he did all this anyway?”

“I hadn’t made up my mind if I would say yes yet, but I had decided I wanted to meet his family,” she replied, that broad, motherly smile never leaving her face. “I wanted to proceed slowly, but I didn’t want to shut out any of my options, either. Nearly dying, only to wake up and find your daughter happier than she’s ever been in her entire life has a way of changing one’s outlook for the better,” she added, squeezing me close.

I couldn’t help smiling too, as I pressed my head against her shoulder. Something nagged at the back of my mind though. At the Cancer Walk, Brittany seemed genuinely friendly, and last Saturday she even came over to hang out, and really opened up to us.

Now, I had the one thing she always wanted. I had a Dad. I mean, sure, they weren’t married yet, but he went to all this just for me even without knowing what Mom’s answer would be. He genuinely cared about me. I felt kind of bad for her.

I think Mom sensed something was still bothering me. As Margie left to make breakfast, Mom gently ushered me back to my bedside and sat on the edge, waiting for me to join her. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

“I’m… just thinking about someone. Remember Brittany, our team co-captain?” She nodded quietly. “She came over Saturday. I don’t remember if I told you about it or not, but she seemed really bummed. Apparently her dad promised he’d be home this last weekend, but something came up, and he had to leave.

“All she wants is for him to notice her. He’s never been to a single game, and he’s always gone. I mean, even Joe is at least around on a semi-regular basis even with his business trips these days.”

Mom sat quietly and listened, understanding forming on her face. She smiled sympathetically. “And you feel guilty because now you have the one thing she’s always wanted, right?”

“Yeah. I just wish there was something I could do,” I exhaled.

“The best thing you can do is just continue to be there for her. Keep being her friend.” She smiled and squeezed me close to her. I rested my head on her shoulder for a moment, smiling back.

“Thanks Mom. I’m going to go get a shower.”

“Just don’t be too long. It’s snowed again, but they’re holding school anyway, so we’ll have to take some extra time getting you there.”

~oOo~

Much as was our tradition on game days, our basketball team wore our jerseys to school along with matching purple-and-gold wind suits. For the first time in awhile, I actually found myself having trouble paying attention in class. My mind kept returning to how happy Mom seemed this morning. Apparently it showed. Kathy, our mousy photographer friend, sat down at our table at lunch, staring at me for several seconds.

“Okay, I give. What’s up with Robin?” she laughed.

I glanced at her with an innocent smile. “What?”

“You’re glowing!” she insisted. I looked at Allison, Nicole, and Jennifer, each nodding in turn. I had to laugh, causing Nicole to start giggling too.

“My Mom’s getting married,” I finally admitted.

“Really?! That’s awesome!”

“Totally!” I gushed. “It’s so weird though, but a good weird. I mean, he’s my Kenpo Sensei, but I also know he’s a really, really great guy. I couldn’t be happier for them.”

“Oh wow. Your Sensei? That’s going to make class fun,” she teased. She suddenly grew silent as Trent and Laura passed us by though, shooting Trent a sympathetic smile. He stopped at our table, kneeling for a moment to hug Kathy, smiling at us.

“Hey girls. How’s it going?”

Something seemed… off. “Great,” I answered with a cheery smile. “I was just telling Mouse about my Mom getting married.”

“Really? That’s awesome,” he answered with a faint smile. “Anyway, I’ll see you guys later.”

I glanced back, watching them walk away then looked back at Nicole. “What was that about?”

Nicole rolled her shoulders. “I dunno. Trent’s been like that since the Halloween party. He won’t open up to me about it, and Laura said it had to be his decision to talk about.”

Kathy cleared her throat. “We’re photographers, y’know? When you spend several hours a week in a tiny, dark room together you start to get close. After awhile, you don’t have a whole lot of secrets. … I really shouldn’t be saying anything. I mean, it’s really not my place, but …” She bit her lip, slurping down a gulp of milk for courage, it seemed.

“Well… Laura’s mom found out ‘Trina’ was at your party. She confronted Trent about it, and they kind of got into this huge argument. She still thinks Trent’s covering up for someone, and because they’re both bullheaded. Neither wants to talk to the other, and Laura’s caught in the middle. It’s just one big mess… Well, there’s more, but I probably already said too much.” She frowned, shifting her gaze. “You’ve got a game tonight right?”

“Yeah,” Allison responded. “We’re playing the Lady Panthers.”

“Well, we need pictures of the Lady Tigers. I’ll volunteer to go, and fill you in on the bus ride. I really don’t feel comfortable telling you the rest in public like this. Anyway… Oh hey, what are you guys doing for the holidays? I’ll probably be going to my Grandmother’s in Wyoming myself.”

Nicole and I grinned at each other; I decided to wait until Allison and Jennifer answered first, though, the former commenting on how she’d just stay home, and the latter how she’d probably do the same.

“Well, Nikki and I are spending Thanksgiving with her family. My mom’s going to fly out to New York to be with Sensei’s family this year.”

Kathy giggled. “You guys are so cute together. Does either of your families know you’re dating though? I mean… not… that it’s any of my business,” she started to backpedal, her cheeks turning red. “I’m sorry, that so came out all wrong.”

I giggled, reaching across the table to squeeze her hand. “Kathy! Relax! Everybody in school knows we’re going steady. You’re not going to offend either of us asking about it. Anyway, no, her family doesn’t know yet. And Sensei’s doesn’t either I don’t think. I’ve never met them.”

Nicole frowned. “Robin, you know you don’t have to keep your commitment with my family if you want to go with your Mom, right?”

“Oh, I know, but I want to be with you. Besides, my stepdad-to-be is one step ahead of us anyway. He um… bought me a new laptop as an early Christmas present. It has a sweet webcam, so I can be here with you and still say ‘hi’ to them.”

Nicole’s jaw dropped. “Oh my God. You finally got another computer?!”

Jennifer giggled. “Our little Robin’s finally getting with the 21st century.”

Kathy stared blankly at the good-natured teasing. I couldn’t help laughing. “You have to understand, before I moved here, I had like, zero friends, so my cell phone was basically a five year old hand-me-down because it was all I ever needed, and our old computer was even older than that, only it didn’t survive the move, and I just never really felt compelled to replace it.”

“But you DO have a text-capable phone now right?” she asked, concerned.

“Yeah, I finally turned in my old phone for a pre-pay call-text-camera phone,” I giggled. “Oh, that reminds me, Ally can you come over after the game tonight? I’m going to need a little help actually setting that thing up.”

“Sure! Jen’s really the computer guru, but…”

Jennifer picked up where Allison left off, “But Josh and I have a date tonight.” She bubbled excitedly. “He’s taking me to a big concert in New Haven. It’s not Heedless Despair, but a concert’s a concert! I’ll bring you guys back t-shirts though. Kathy, what’s your size?”

“Me?” she stared at Jennifer as though she’d just been told she won the lottery. I had to bite my tongue not to giggle. This girl really did remind me a lot of myself six months ago, minus the dumpster drops.

“Yes, you! You’re one of us now, aren’t you?”

“Um, I guess?” she smiled thoughtfully. “I usually wear a Small, sometimes a Medium depending on the manufacturer. Anyway, I’ll see you guys tonight!”

~oOo~

A light dusting of snow had fallen during the day, though not enough to hamper road conditions, thankfully. It was, however, enough to keep us inside the heated gym lobby while we waited for everyone to arrive. A camera flash caught my attention as I stood in a semi-circle with the other girls that had arrived already, including Allison. Nicole and Jennifer had come to see us off as well.

Kathy smiled cheerily as she approached. “Hey guys. Sorry I’m late.”

“Actually, you’re right on time. Well, unless you want to call Coach Wilson ‘late’,” I teased. Her jaw fell open and she quickly shook her head, causing us to giggle. “I guess this means you got permission to ride with us?”

“Yep!” she responded excitedly, holding up a student press pass. “I’ve never been to an away game before so it’s kind of exciting. Is there anything I need to know about?”

Chelsea interjected, “Well, let’s see. Players get concession stand access from the side door letting us bypass the lines at most schools.” It’s something I knew about for our school, but wasn’t certain it was something all schools did. “So if you want something to drink, save yourself some trouble and just ask one of us.”

“You guys are so great,” she offered with a thoughtful smile. Brittany rolled her shoulders.

“Eh, most photogs could care less about a girls’ game. You volunteered, which means you’re one of us tonight.”

I couldn’t emphasize enough how much Brittany had changed lately. I was really proud of how far she’d come since Coach made her co-captain. Most of it was just lightening up and not biting others’ heads off constantly, but who knew there was actually a sweet girl underneath?

“Oh,” Chelsea added, lowering her voice. “And Robin changes separately from the rest of us, so don’t follow her into the coaches’ offices when we get there.”

“Really? Um…” she trailed off, biting her lip. I knew what she wanted to ask, but I also knew she’d never be brave enough.

“It’s a medical issue,” I responded. “I don’t really like to talk about it, and the school board likes to keep it that way. Basically before a game I change in the coaches’ private bathroom, but that’s about it. Actually I’ve already changed though,” I added with a smile. “So it’s no big deal this time.”

“Wow. It’s not life-threatening is it? I mean, you’re not… terminally ill or something?”

Allison and I looked at each other and giggled. I shook my head. “No, I’m not going to die from it.”

Mercifully, Coach Wilson appeared before the conversation could turn any weirder. My teammates had been incredibly cool about the whole ‘medical condition’ story, but I still didn’t like to talk about it this much. Out of sight, out of mind, as they say. Fortunately since I’d had the forethought to change already, as did the other girls, we would actually be hanging out in the locker room together before the game this time. At least, that was the plan. I’d soon learn how fragile plans can be that night.

After Allison and I exchanged goodnight hugs with Jennifer and Nicole, we boarded the bus. Knowing Kathy had more to say about the Trent-Trina situation, we headed for the middle-back area. Our team spread out across the seating, and once everyone was comfortable, Coach Wilson stood at the head, did a final head-count, and we were off.

We actually spent most of the ride gossiping and giggling about meaningless nonsense and school goings-on, who was dating whom, and how Allison and Mark still hadn’t gone out yet despite the obvious attraction. We stopped off for dinner at McDonalds, where a Greyhound bus had apparently had the same idea.

“So, anyway, what’s up with Trent?” Allison finally asked, while Maria, Chelsea, and Brittany had all gone to use the ladies’ room. Kathy put down her hamburger, washing down her previous bite with a drink from her diet soda before answering.

“Well… He says he’s kind of depressed right now. It’s really confusing, but… I think the gist of it is that he likes being called Trina and being treated like a girl, but he likes Laura too, and he’s not really sure how to… handle it, y’know?”

Allison glanced at me, but I shook my head. Enough people already knew about me. I wasn’t ready to add to that list just yet — neither Trent, nor Kathy.

“I know the name of a really good therapist. She deals with LGBT patients, and she’s treated both me and Allison after the Raggedy Man stuff too.” Okay, so I had been seeing Dr. Ketz before that horrible incident, but still.

Allison nodded. “Barbara’s REALLY good.” She suddenly cut herself off, staring at someone behind me. I shifted in my chair, glancing from Allison, following her gaze. Despite the change in hair color to a deep, rich auburn, I’d have recognized that vulnerable, sad smile anywhere. Andrea hadn’t changed a bit since I last saw her in June. She stood silently, shyly staring.

“Andrea?” I asked as I stood to face her. “What… What are you doing here?”

Her face fell, and she suddenly developed a burning fascination with inspecting the floor. “I’m on school holiday,” she responded uneasily. “I wanted to come see you, maybe hang out for a day or two… I was going to call when I got to Alpine Springs, but I recognized you when I saw your friend, um… Alicia?”

“Allison,” I answered with a chuckle. She nodded.

“Right, Allison. Anyway, what are you doing here?”

“School basketball game. We’re about to leave soon, once our team captains get back from the restroom. Look, if you want, I’ll talk to my coach and you can come with us.” I paused, lowering my voice, “…And then you can tell me why you’re really here.”

She blinked, abruptly biting her lip as she shyly looked away, her cheeks turning bright red. “…How did you know?”

“Andrea, the only school holiday we had back in San Francisco was the four day weekend in October. Do your parents even know where you are?”

She shook her head slowly. “I ran away from home. Robin, you don’t know what it’s been like!” she sobbed. Instinctively, and against my better judgment, I pulled her into a hug, letting her put her head on my shoulder.

“Shh, it’s okay. Let’s go talk to my Coach and get this sorted out alright?”

She nodded, letting me lead her away, past Brittany and Chelsea. They both gave me a very understandably puzzled stare, but I just smiled at them as I passed, approaching Coach Wilson’s table. Our bus driver, a grizzled elderly man, sat across from her sipping a soda. He noticed us first and cleared his throat, nodding his head, which caused Coach Wilson to look up. She frowned.

“What’s going on? Robin, who’s this?”

“Um… Coach? Can we talk to you outside?”

She knew me well enough to know I’d have a good explanation, and so without a word, she stood, following us out into the chill night air.

“Coach Wilson, this is Andrea Townsend. Andrea, this is my basketball coach, Stephanie Wilson. Andrea’s a friend from San Francisco. She… was apparently coming to see me.”

Andrea nodded, sniffling. “My bus stopped here for a rest stop and food break. That’s when I saw Robin and Allison, and came over to say ‘hi’.”

“Okay, so why did we need to talk?” Coach Wilson cut right to the point, though she did so in such a gentle and non-threatening tone. She could be damned frightening on the basketball court if she had to be, but she also knew when to be tactful. It was one of the things I loved about her.

“Andrea … ran away from home.”

“Oh dear,” she frowned. “Your parents have no idea where you are, do they?” she asked, again, in a gentle tone.

Andrea shook her head. “I’m sorry. I just … I didn’t know what else to do! Robin was like, the one person who was ever really nice to me. I just had to see her again, just once!”

Coach Wilson exhaled slowly. “Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. Andrea, I want you to let your driver know that you’re coming with me. I’ll talk to him if I have to, but I’m not letting you get back on that bus alone. I’m also going to need to call your parents and let them know you’re okay.”

She tearfully, reluctantly nodded, and after giving over her home phone number, she ran inside to find her driver. As she pulled out her cell phone, Coach Wilson exhaled, looking down at me. “What’s this really about, Robin?”

“Honestly, I wish I knew Coach,” I offered softly. “Andrea and I dated for awhile several months ago, when I was still … you know… pretending to be someone else. It ended predictably, when her ex boyfriend threw me in a trash can. Awhile later when I went back to visit my Mom, after she had finally woken up from her coma, I ran into her again in the mall. Fast forward to a few months later, I got a call from her. She was telling me how horribly things had been going for her, that everyone blamed her for running me off, and how no one wanted to be nice to her now.”

“Oh Jesus…” Coach Wilson muttered. “And now she’s run away from home and across the country to find the one person who was nice to her right? I’m starting to understand now, but this isn’t going to end well for anyone.”

“Tell me about it. Her parents didn’t know Robin. They barely knew Robert,” I muttered, just as Andrea stepped outside again. Apparently she heard me because she immediately approached, wrapping her arms around my waist and putting her head on my shoulder. As Coach Wilson dialed, Andrea whispered a soft ‘I’m sorry.’

“Yes, is this Andrea Townsend’s mother?”

“Mrs. Townsend, this is Coach Stephanie Wilson. I’m a teacher and athletics instructor in Alpine Springs, Connecticut. Yes ma’am, I- Yes ma’am, Andrea’s here with me right now. Ma’am, please calm down, your daughter’s okay. Yes, I’m a Coach, ma’am. Please let-” she sighed, extending the phone to Andrea. “She won’t let me get a word in.”

Andrea reluctantly accepted the phone. Her voice cracked and she started sobbing, “Mom? I’m sorry… I’m so, so sorry! Yes I’m okay. No nobody put me up to this, I- What? No I didn’t meet someone online! Just listen to me!”

By now the rest of the team had begun to assemble outside. They kept their distance, including Allison. Our bus driver quietly began herding girls toward the bus as I listened to Andrea’s one-sided conversation, explaining to her mother why she ‘just had to see Robin’. Several tearful repetitions of ‘I’m sorry’ followed, and finally, she looked at me nervously, extending the phone.

“Hello?” I offered, uncertain what to expect.

“Robin?” a middle-aged woman’s voice answered. I recognized her immediately. I’d only been over to dinner once, but Andrea’s mom always struck me as having a very unique and melodious voice. I envied it back then.

“Yes ma’am, this is Robin.”

“Can I ask you how you and Andrea met?”

“We went to school together.”

“She’s never talked about you before. What was the name of your school?”

“Lawrence Western Junior High last year. I would’ve been a Sophomore at Lawrence Western High School this year.”

“How did you end up in Connecticut?” she immediately responded. I was starting to feel like a suspect in one of those detective shows.

“It’s a long story. My older sister moved here after college to get a fresh start. She opened a clothing store here, and when my mom was in a near-fatal car accident this last June, since my dad died when I was little and I didn’t have anyone else to turn to, she let me come stay with her. After Mom recovered, since I’d made so many new friends here, we decided to move here.”

“Wait a minute, you’re the girl Andrea met at the mall that day: the girl she was trying to call for so long?”

I giggled a little. “Yes ma’am. My old phone’s reception was so bad that half the time I couldn’t even get local calls.”

“Robin, I hate to impose,” her tone softened considerably. Apparently I’d convinced her that I wasn’t some sort of creepy cyber-stalker who had abducted her daughter. “But would you let Andrea stay with you for a day or two? I’ll be on the next flight out, but I need to know she’ll be safe.”

“Yes ma’am, of course. Coach Wilson’s already told her she’s not letting her get back on the bus alone. We’re going to take her with us to my basketball game then I’ll take her home with me. I won’t let anything happen to her, ma’am.”

“Thank you Robin. I… I had no idea she was having so many problems at school. It seems my daughter and I have a lot to talk about. Could you put Coach Wilson back on the line please?”

“Sure. Here you go,” I responded, quickly offering Coach Wilson her cell phone back.

“Yes?” Coach Wilson answered, but we didn’t stay to hear the rest. I walked Andrea to her bus so she could get her things. The driver had already pulled her suitcase out, and stood with his hands buried deep in his pockets, watching us approach. He regarded me with a nod.

“You’re the friend she mentioned?” he asked. He had a skeptical look on his face, but his tone suggested a willingness to hear us out. I nodded.

“Yes sir. Admittedly she’s the last person I expected to see way out here though.” I shot her a glance, and she sniffed, giggling a little.

“Yeah, this was kind of a stupid spur-of-the-moment move on my part, but I feel safer with her than I do on the bus — no offense.”

He nodded slowly. “None taken. I try to keep an eye on younger passengers, but it’s a big bus, and a long route. Well, here are your things, if you’re sure you want to disembark here. I just need you to sign something stating that this was your choice, that you weren’t coerced.”

~oOo~

The rest of the bus ride to the game passed in mostly awkward silence. Andrea appeared to all to be more than a little obsessed with me, but she didn’t want to talk about what happened to finally break her, to make her spend her life savings on a bus ticket to ride across the entire country to see someone who had never had a very good relationship with her to begin with, and parted on, at best, neutral terms.

I felt bad for her, but I didn’t know what I could do to help her. Contrary to popular belief, I certainly was no miracle-worker. She fortunately seemed content to just sleep in the seat next to me for now. As the school came into sight, Brittany reached her hand over my seat and squeezed my shoulder. I looked back to see her smiling back at me.

“You certainly have a way with girls, don’t you?” she teased. I shook my head, trying not to laugh too loudly to wake my sleeping ex-girlfriend.

“Don’t get the wrong idea, Brit. Andrea’s … Well, it’s a long story, but she was one of those ‘The Social Food Chain’ types. Captain of the wrestling team for a boyfriend, the whole nine. When things came crashing down on her head she didn’t know how to handle it.”

“So she ran? Here?”

“Yeah, basically. It’s not like we were really close friends or anything, but I did treat her with a modicum of respect. Maybe she thought that’s what I did, but I wasn’t running; I was coming home.”

“Does your Mom know?” she asked innocently.

“Not yet, but …”

“But?”

“She’ll be at the game so I’ll go talk to her beforehand.”

“… Oh.” Brittany’s face fell. I instinctively slid from my seat to kneel beside her, wrapping her in a hug. She smiled as she leaned her head against mine for just a moment. “Thanks Robin. I’m okay though. Just … a little jealous,” she exhaled with a dry chuckle. I nodded, giving her hand a light squeeze and returning to my seat.

~oOo~

I didn’t have any trouble finding Mom and Sensei Rogers. Mom proudly wore a purple t-shirt with the words “Mother of a LADY TIGER!” emblazoned in bright gold over our school mascot, a roaring tiger’s face. Andrea reluctantly followed me over as I approached, and Mom smiled up at us.

“Well hello dear. Who’s your friend?” she asked, glancing at Andrea. She probably didn’t remember her, since I never actually brought her home. Rather, Andrea actively refused the idea so vehemently that I never brought it up again.

“Mom, this is Andrea … Townsend.”

“Andrea Townsend …” she echoed, shifting her gaze between the two of us. “Wasn’t that the name of-”

“Yeah, um… This is her,” I offered softly. Andrea’s face fell. She looked like she was about to break down completely right there. Mom rose to her feet without so much as a word to Sensei, and taking Andrea in a motherly embrace, quickly ushered her out to the lobby, with me helplessly tagging along behind her.

“Andrea, what on earth are you doing here? Do your parents know you’re here?”

Andrea sniffed as she quietly nodded. “They do now. Coach Wilson called them for me. I’m… I really screwed up. Robin’s like, the only person who I KNEW didn’t completely hate me. I just needed to… to see her one last time,” she sobbed. What did she mean ‘last’? I frowned now.

“Shh-shh, it’s okay sweetheart, it’s okay. Yes, you made a mistake, but it’s okay,” Mom cooed, by now entering full-blown motherhood mode.

“Y-you’re not mad?” she responded quietly.

“I’m upset that you ran away from home like this. You put yourself in serious danger. If you wanted to see Robin you should have called ahead. We could have worked something out with your parents.”

“B-but Robin said,” she hesitated, turning to face me. “Y-you said you couldn’t do anything.”

“Andrea, I couldn’t have done anything physically. You said it yourself. There’s no way anybody would ever believe I was the same person. Besides, that chapter of my life is over now. That doesn’t mean you can’t call or text me. I just meant that you needed to try and find people who would accept you for you, too.”

“I did try that,” she whimpered. “It didn’t end so well. But I really don’t wanna talk about that.”

I gave her an understanding nod as I hugged her. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell us anything you don’t want to.”

She smiled just a little at that and nodded, then buried her face in Mom’s shoulder. I heard Chelsea calling my name and turned to see her waving her hand high over her head. “Hey, you coming?”

I glanced back at Mom. She smiled reassuringly at me. “Go on. You’ve got a game to get ready for. I’ll look after Andrea.”

I nodded, giving Mom a quick peck on the cheek. “Thanks. Is it okay if Andrea stays with us tonight? I promised her mom I’d keep her safe until we can get this resolved. I promise I’ll explain everything after the game.”

As Chelsea and I walked into the locker room, I tried to focus on the game. It wasn’t that I didn’t feel badly for Andrea. Obviously something bad had happened, but until she was ready to open up about it, dwelling on it would only result in both of us being miserable. I couldn’t let my team down like that, so I resolved to put it out of my mind for now.

~oOo~

During the half-time break I walked with Kathy and Allison to the concession stand. After getting ourselves and our photographer a soda and a large order of nachos, we slowly walked back to the court.

“Man, that was a crazy first half,” Kathy giggled. “I didn’t know you could run like that Ally!”

Allison laughed. “My whole family used to run PT every morning together. My dad’s ex Marine Corps., and when my sister started getting involved, Mom and I did too. Of course, I hadn’t actually been jogging in ages until this summer, when Robin started jogging with me. Then our time hiking at Girl Scout camp helped too.”

Brittany snatched a nacho as she sat on the other side of Kathy, crunching into it. “Sorry, those just looked really tasty.” She grinned. “Did I miss anything?”

“Allison was just talking about how she stays in shape. Hey, Robin? Isn’t that your future step-dad over there?” she abruptly asked, pointing to Sensei Rogers. He had apparently just come back inside, laughing and talking to another middle-aged man in an Italian business suit.

“Yeah, but I don’t recognize the guy he’s with,” I offered, a little confused. I figured he’d have been sitting with Mom still. Brittany looked like she’d just seen a ghost. Kathy nudged her gently, causing her to blink a few times, returning to reality.

“Oh my God,” she whispered, “That’s my Dad.”

Without another word, she sprang from the bleachers, racing down the courtside and nearly knocking a referee over in the process. I looked at Kathy and Allison, quickly rising to follow. I paused long enough to apologize to the official then stepped closer to where the apparent reunion was about to take place.

“Dad? What… are you doing here?”

“Well I felt so bad about breaking my promise that as soon as the meeting ended I caught the first flight home. This guy here,” he motioned to Sensei Rogers, who practically grinned himself, “left me a voice mail to call him back. How he even got my number’s beyond me, but I’m glad he did… Pumpkin, is what he said true? Do you really think I don’t care about you?”

She exhaled slowly. “You’re always so busy. You’re NEVER home, and let’s not forget the Christmas Mom and I spent alone at the Holiday Inn last year.”

He flinched at the scolding, lowering his head. “I’m so sorry. But things are going to be different from now on.”

“How so?” she asked reluctantly. I got the feeling she’d heard this line before.

“I made partner,” he responded with a broad smile. When she didn’t react as cheerfully as he apparently had hoped, he continued. “That means no more Christmases in hotel rooms, and a lot fewer business trips.”

“Do you really mean that?” she asked as she stared up at him. He smiled as he nodded, wrapping her in a tight hug. She buried herself in his shoulder, and I took Sensei Rogers’ arm, pulling him away.

“I thought they could use a moment. You really went to all this trouble though?”

He chuckled. “I wouldn’t be a very good Sensei if I didn’t set a good example for my students — or my future step-daughter.”

I giggled a little as I wrapped him in a hug. “Thanks. This has… not been a good night for me, and this just really makes it so much better.”

“Oh, come on, you’re only down by five points. You’ll make it up next half,” he teased. He knew very well what I meant.

“It’s not just the game. It’s… Andrea showing up here really complicates things.”

“How so?” he asked.

“Her Mom met me once, but not as Robin. I’m worried that she might remember me.”

“Oh, I see…” he paused, but smiled. “Well, you worry about your basketball game. I’ll talk to Linda tonight on the drive home, okay?”

“Thank you, Sensei,” I offered, smiling brightly. I knew I could count on him.

“Please, call me Ash,” he answered. I couldn’t help giggling.

“How about ‘Dad’?” I grinned, then added, “Just kidding. I’ll have to ease into that one as much as you will, but ‘Ash’ I can handle.”

~oOo~

In an ending that could only have come out of one of those cheesy Disney Channel movies, we were down by two points with ten seconds left on the clock. Coach Wilson had just called our last timeout and the entire team huddled to talk strategy.

My ankle throbbed from where another girl had accidentally fouled me earlier in the game. She seemed to feel really bad about it though so I didn’t let on that I was injured by it. Coach Wilson made me wrap it in an Ace bandage under my sock though, just in case, before letting me back in the game.

“Okay girls, Maria, their defense is going to be all over you so we’re going to use that to our advantage. After the tip-off I want you to get in shooting position to fake them out. I want to try and get the ball to Robin if we can, but if you see open basket, take it. Alright, Teamwork on three. Hands in!”

We put our hands in, and on the count of three cheered ‘Teamwork!’. I really didn’t know why she wanted me to be our designated shooter for the last play, but she obviously saw something in the Panthers’ defense that I didn’t, so I wasn’t going to argue.

As we walked onto the court, I touched fists with Brittany. “Hey, my ankle’s killing me so I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make the shot. If I see you open, you’re my go-to girl, alright?”

“You sure? You heard what Coach said. It’s a good play.”

“Yeah, but I just don’t know if I can make a three-pointer. If we go for two we can tie it up and win it in overtime.”

She frowned, but nodded. “I’ve got your back.”

The referee blew his whistle to get our attention. “Let’s play ball ladies.”

“Yes sir,” I responded, stepping into position.

After the tip-off we managed to get control of the ball, putting it down-court. Rose Derrick, our freshman forward handed the ball off to me as we raced closer. I started to move into position to take the three-point shot, but the Panther defense read me like a book, and before I knew it, they had me completely blocked.

I faked left, shifted right, putting pressure on my sore ankle as I passed the ball to Brittany. I couldn’t stand it any longer, crying out as I collapsed, holding my ankle. The ball was already in the air when the ref blew his whistle. It bounced off the backboard, and I could hear the net swish and the buzzer sound, as both the crowd and the other players grew deathly silent, watching me.

The referee approached and knelt, followed quickly by Coach Wilson and one of their medical staff. “Robin, what happened?” she asked, concerned.

“I stepped wrong,” I cringed, holding my ankle. The referee looked at me with some skepticism. “Are you sure that’s all that happened?”

“Yes sir,” I responded quickly. “It was my fault,” I offered. The medic, a short woman with wavy brown hair quickly removed my shoe and sock. She cringed.

“That’s a nasty bruise. Why didn’t you mention this sooner?”

I bit my lip. “I felt bad for the other girl. And it really wasn’t this bad earlier, I swear.”

“Tell me if this hurts,” she responded, placing pressure on various points of both my ankle and my foot, ending in gently pulling my foot back toward my leg. I shook my head.

“A little, but not like searing pain or anything.”

She nodded. “It looks like you’ll be okay. Keep some ice on it tonight, and absolutely no strenuous activity for at least twenty-four hours, understand?”

“Yes ma’am,” I offered meekly as she and Coach Wilson both helped me to my feet. I tentatively put pressure on my foot to be sure I could walk on it, then smiled, nodding. The crowd on both sides started cheering as they walked me off the court. A taller girl from the other team with long, wavy black hair pulled into a tight ponytail approached as I sat, with my sock and shoe in-hand.

“Hey, are you okay?” she asked hesitantly as she knelt in front of me. I nodded.

“Yeah. It’s just a bruise, maybe a little joint strain.”

“Sarah was worried about you. At first I thought you were faking it to try and distract us at the last second, but she said, and I quote, ‘There’s no way Spirit would do that!’.” She chuckled as she patted my knee.

“I don’t pretend to understand what happened at Girl Scout camp — I mean, I wasn’t there, but Sarah’s my best friend. If she says you’re honest, then I’ll throw the Panthers’ vote in for not going into overtime.” She smiled as she stood. I hadn’t noticed the Captain’s ‘C’ on her jersey until that moment. As she turned to walk away Mom came over, Ash and Andrea following.

“Sweetheart, are you okay?”

I nodded as I hugged her. “Yeah, it’s just a bruise, honest! I just shifted my weight wrong when I passed to Brit, and lost my balance.”

“She just needs to keep it propped up and avoid any strenuous activity for a day or so,” Coach Wilson added. “If you want you can take her on home with you. We’re going to be here waiting for the officials’ decision anyway, but even if they do ask us to re-play the last ten seconds, I’m not letting her back on the court tonight.” She paused, smiling at me. “Besides, I think you’ve got enough on your mind. Go home, get some rest. You’ve earned it.”

“Thanks Coach,” I offered as I re-bandaged my ankle, pulling my sock and shoe back on. Andrea offered her hand, pulling me up into an unexpected hug.

“That really was an amazing game,” she spoke softly. “I had no idea you were so athletic. Anyway, I guess I’ll see you later tonight.”

I shook my head. “Come home with us. There’s no point in you having to ride the bus back if I won’t be.”

“You’re… sure?”

“Yes I’m sure,” I responded sincerely. “Go get your suitcase and we’ll meet you in the parking lot. It’s the red soft-top convertible. I’d come with you, but…” I glanced down at my foot with a sheepish smile. It wasn’t as though I had seriously injured myself. It wasn’t even as bad as when Maria sprained her ankle not long ago, but it still hurt!

“I’ll go with you Andrea,” Mom added, following the girl as she rushed off out of the gym. Meanwhile, Ash and I walked out to his car to wait for them. I dreaded telling Nicole about all this. Nicole and Andrea had a very neutral relationship the short time they actually spoke to one another, and old girlfriend crossing the entire country to see me was likely not going to sit well with her.

But it wasn’t as though Andrea really wanted to be with me anyway. She always knew there was something just not right about our relationship, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t still be friends. I’d have plenty of time to think about it, and how to handle Andrea’s Mom, on the ride home.

I did have to wonder, as I watched Mom approach carrying Andrea’s beat-up old suitcase, if I could expect a visit from the police when we got home? Andrea’s Mom had to have filed a missing person report by now, after all. I suddenly had a very bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

~* The Prodigal (Ex)Girlfriend *~ “Mrs. Townsend, there’s a lot that Andrea’s kept to herself over the last few months, but she’s ready to ask for help now. That’s what all this was about.” She stared at me with a frown. “Young lady, if my daughter needs help, she should have come to me, not just jumped on a bus and run away from-” “Mom, stop!” Andrea snapped back. “This is exactly why I didn’t come to you in the first place!” Cynthia clammed right up, staring down at Andrea. “Robin listens to me. She’s a GOOD person, and I respect her a lot more than I do you right now, and what you said is EXACTLY why! I’m not going back with you!” Without warning, she shoved her mother away and ran away from her, right out the back door. I suddenly had visions of the time I got lost in the woods because I was emotionally distraught and confused. That was back in June, not November.

---

“I can’t believe all this snow,” Andrea mumbled abruptly as we drew closer to home. The rest of the drive had been spent in mostly silence. Mom and Ash didn’t dare try and discuss the situation in front of Andrea, and our one rest stop, the three of us went to the ladies’ room together leaving the poor guy to watch his car.

“It’s really pretty in the morning light,” I offered. She shifted in her seat, turning back to stare at me. That sad smile hadn’t left her features. It almost felt as though any moment now she expected me to throw her aside, or in this case, shove her out of our moving vehicle. I reached out to rest my hand over hers, offering a reassuring smile. We had a lot of bad blood, but she, more than anyone, needed a friend right now, and I was the closest thing she had.

She turned her hand over, and for a brief moment, the sleeve of her denim jacket fell at an angle that, under the light of a street lamp, illuminated something odd about her wrist. I stared up at her, concerned, but she looked away, pulling her hand back and burying it, along with the other, under her arms as though trying to keep warm.

“A lot’s happened,” she murmured.

Not knowing what else to say, I just nodded quietly, and left it at that, at least until we pulled into the driveway back home. A squad car sat on the street in front of our snow-covered lawn. Andrea frantically looked between the car, and back at me, then back at the car. Ash smiled back at us.

“Don’t worry, girls. Let us do the talking and everything will be okay.”

He stepped out of the car, waiting for the police officer to approach. Our cul-de-sac’s street lights weren’t enough for me to see the officer’s face from a distance, and whatever figure or build they might have had was handily obscured by the heavy winter coat, but once she had approached the car, I recognized her immediately. Andrea squeaked when I opened my door. I glanced back at her with a smile. “It’s okay; I’ve met her before.”

That didn’t seem to settle her nerves any. She backed up against her door and refused to budge an inch. Mom stayed in the car with her, trying to calm her down while I approached the two. Officer Garrett turned to me and smiled. “Young lady, what did I tell you about us needing to stop meeting like this?” she spoke in a semi-authoritative tone, but her smile belied her words.

“Please tell me you’re not here to take Andrea into custody? She’s really, really not in a good mental state right now.”

Officer Garrett frowned at that. “No, I’m not here to take her in unless I feel she needs to be in protective custody, but I am here about her. San Francisco PD contacted us asking if we would follow up on the report. Her mother refused to wait until they confirmed that she was actually here, so it’s out of their hands now.” She paused, smiling down at me. “Of course, when I heard the address over the radio I called in that I’d handle this personally. You’re a good kid, but you’re a magnet for trouble. You want to tell me what’s going on here?”

As Mom coaxed Andrea out of the car, I explained the whole situation to her, how Andrea had been having problems at school, and how we knew each other from San Francisco, of course leaving out the part about us dating. When I finished, Officer Garrett shifted her gaze to Andrea, who now stood, shivering in the snow, pulling her light denim jacket more tightly around herself. I had to wonder if it was the cold that made her shiver, though.

“Andrea, it’s important for you to know that you’re not in any trouble, alright?”

She nodded quietly, chewing her lower lip.

“Let’s get you inside, and we can talk,” she offered gently. Officer Garrett was one scary lady when she had to be, but at the same time, she almost sounded motherly toward my frightened friend. Andrea sniffed, nodding again. She spoke softly.

“W-what’s going to happen to me?”

“That all depends on you, sweetheart. I’m going to ask you some questions, and we’ll go from there.”

“Please don’t make me go home!” she begged, her eyes tearing up.

“That’s not for me to decide, Andrea. I’m just here to make sure you’re okay. Come on, let’s go inside and get you warmed up. You must be freezing out here.”

Admittedly I had begun to feel the chill myself. Standing around outside in a foot of snow in nothing but a wind suit didn’t exactly endear me to the early frost. Without really thinking, I wrapped an arm around Andrea, squeezing her close as I led her inside. She clung desperately to me in return, even putting her head on my shoulder.

I couldn’t help smiling a little. I felt so bad for her, and I hated how our relationship had ended, but it still felt nice knowing she actually trusted me this much. I just hoped that trust wasn’t misplaced, or that what I thought I had seen, I hadn’t seen. I kept telling myself it was just a trick of light.

Inside, I listened while Officer Garrett questioned Andrea on everything from what seemed blatantly relevant to her running away, to things that seemed vastly less so. She asked about Andrea’s home life, if she had any problems with family, if she had been abused at any point. Mom had gotten up a few minutes in to make some hot drinks — spiced sweetened tea for Andrea and me, hot coffee for the adults. She returned with a simple serving tray carrying our drinks. Andrea smiled meekly as she accepted her cup, watching Mom sit as the interrogation continued.

“Andrea, have you ever been sexually active?”

“What? No!” she adamantly denied it. After only a moment, she laughed weakly. “Actually that’s what started this whole mess… My boyfriend dumped me because I wouldn’t put out. I’m only fifteen for Chrissakes,” she mumbled. “Things just, y’know, got worse from there.”

“How did things get worse, Andrea?” I realized, as she asked that, that nowhere in the earlier questioning did she really touch on any of what happened in the last two months specifically. Andrea shrank back into the sofa and shut her eyes tightly. “Andrea, this is important. I need to know what happened so I can make an accurate judgment of how we can proceed. I’m here to help you, but I can only do that if you tell me absolutely everything.”

She slowly opened her eyes, looking from me to Jane, then back again. She leaned over, whispering, “I’m so sorry,” then turned back to Jane again. Sorry for what? … Oh crap. Before I could say anything though, she started to explain.

“Robin and I … weren’t just friends. We dated for a couple of months last Spring.” I exhaled the breath I’d been holding. I just knew the OTHER thing was going to come out, about me pretending to be a boy during that time. “I was just using her to get back at my boyfriend, to, y’know, make him jealous. We were never really all that serious though.”

Officer Garrett gave me a skeptical stare. “So you were romantically involved earlier this year, before you moved to Alpine Springs?”

I nodded. “Yes ma’am. As she said, it wasn’t serious. And it ended when the ex gave me a black eye.”

Both Andrea and Officer Garrett flinched. Andrea continued. “Robin could have pressed charges easily, but she didn’t. Anyway, I saw her again in June, when she came back to California to visit her mom in the hospital. She had every right and every reason to hate me and to want nothing to do with me, but she and her friends invited me to have lunch with them at the food court.

“She gave me her cell number so we could stay in touch. I had no intention of it at the time. I mean, I thought about it, but… Well, Robin had gotten a serious makeover since I last saw her,” she offered, pausing to sip her tea.

“Wow… This is really good. Anyway, nobody recognized her. I think it made it even harder on me when these two cute boys came up to me after I left, asking if I could get them her digits. They didn’t even want to know who she was. Later, when she didn’t come back to school in the Fall, I let on that I was the reason she left. Prevailing belief was that she was an outcast at the time, that the school wouldn’t miss her, I thought…” she trailed off, biting her lip.

Officer Garrett frowned, shaking her head. Andrea cringed, but Jane interrupted her before she could say anything. “It takes a lot of guts to admit that. So what happened next?”

“Well, it blew up in my face. More than once I started getting threatened over it. Apparently someone took it personally,” she spoke softly, turning to look at me. I quickly shook my head.

“I don’t know who it could’ve been. You were the only person I was even remotely close to. I had a few school friends, but no one I’d actually invite home.”

“I couldn’t take it anymore. I called Robin and finally got through… I tried calling before, but her old phone kept dying, so I could never talk to her.”

I managed a small smile, adding, “It’s true. That old piece of junk’s antenna was corroded or something. I had to be close to a tower to get any calls there at the end.”

“S-she told me I needed to surround myself with people who would accept me. I started hanging out with the lower class kids, the geeks, the goths, anyone I thought might accept me. There was this one really sweet girl. We kind of hit it off, a-and we sort of started dating. Like my relationship with Robin though, she wanted to keep it quiet. When word got out, she denied the whole thing. I was devastated. I thought I had nothing left to live for, so I…”

Fresh tears began to flow. I wondered just how much this girl had left in her, but that thought shattered at my feet when she rolled back the sleeve of her jacket, revealing a small scar along her wrist. She buried her face in her hands. I set my tea aside and leaned closer to hug her. She turned and threw her around me, burying her face in my shoulder now.

“I didn’t have the courage to go through with it, but the fact that I wanted to, God I wanted so bad to end it all. I couldn’t take it anymore! My brother convinced me that suicide wasn’t the answer. We had a long talk, and I realized how much I would have hurt my parents and him in even trying, but I just … I had to get away from there, so instead I withdrew everything I had and bought a bus ticket.

“Robin is like, the one person in the world I knew, I KNEW wouldn’t hate me, wouldn’t kick me when I was down or throw me aside,” she sobbed.

A long moment of awkward silence passed between the four of us, broken only by the sounds of Andrea crying into my shoulder. I sat helplessly, holding her. It was all I could do. I didn’t know what to say to any of this. What could I have said? I watched Ash motion toward the kitchen, and Mom and Jane stood to follow him. I couldn’t quite make out what they were talking about, and I didn’t have a chance to try, as the front door immediately opened, Margie stepping inside, bundled in her heavy winter coat.

“Wow, it’s cold out there!” she called cheerfully. My heart sank. I just knew I’d have to explain all this again. She called a moment later. “Robin? Is that you? Sweetheart, what’s-” she paused at the doorway, seeing me with Andrea, and frowned. “Oh.”

“Mom and Ash are in the kitchen with Officer Garrett. They’ll explain everything,” I offered. Andrea never even looked up. She seemed dead to the world, and all I could do for her was to let her let it all out. Margie nodded, quickly stepping through to the kitchen.

“I’m sorry,” Andrea finally whispered. “I’m so, so sorry. I should never have come here.”

“What? Why do you say that?” I asked as I gently lifted her chin to get her to look me in the eye.

“I’m trouble, Robin. I’ve been nothing but trouble for you since we met. You don’t … you don’t deserve this.”

“Andrea… You’re right, I don’t, but neither do you. You’re a bright girl. You’re one of the smartest people I know. You deserve better than what you’ve done to yourself OR what others have done to you.”

She slowly stood, walking to the window. She silently stared out at the snow, crestfallen. The poor girl had truly hit rock bottom. I stood and approached, squeezing her hand. “Hey… You’re not alone. Look, forget about what’s going to happen tomorrow, or what happened to make you come here. You’re here now, and I’m here for you, okay?”

She turned to stare at me, throwing her arms around me. At first, I thought she was about to kiss me, which would have seriously complicated things more than I think either of us wanted to think about. Instead she leaned closer, planting a light peck on my cheek. “I was right about one thing,” she whispered.

“What’s that?” I asked, more than a little curious.

She stifled a giggle. “Remember, back in June, when I called you ‘ND’?”

“You were right about me being not-dateable?” I teased her gently, trying to lighten the mood a little. She shook her head quickly.

“No, the next part! I told your friends you probably would’ve been a great friend if I’d given you half a chance. I’m sorry I didn’t. I’m sorry I called you ND too… You’re very dateable.”

I couldn’t believe she remembered that conversation so well.

“I’m still seeing Nikki,” I offered. She nodded quietly.

“It’s okay. I’m not really … y’know. I just wanted some attention for a change, so I pretended to be. Oh, by the way? You … don’t have to worry about anyone remembering you as anything but Robin now.” Her cheeks started to shift a few shades redder. Now I was REALLY curious.

“Andrea, what did you do?”

She bit her lip, turning back to look out the front window. She pressed her back into me and closed her eyes, exhaling. “I didn’t tell your police friend in the other room about everyone thinking you were a guy, but after word got out that I ‘might be’ lesbian, the rumor mill took off. Now the whole school thinks you were a girl all along.” She giggled to herself. “I mean, they were right, but still…”

I had to laugh. “Wow. At least some good came of this whole mess.”

She smiled a little. “I know, right? I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m glad you came, honestly.”

Her eyes lit right up at that, but she frowned. “Wait, what?”

“I mean, I’m glad you trust me. I’m glad that you came if the alternative was …” I trailed off, exhaling slowly. “Andrea, at my girl scout camp there was this girl, Crystal. She was, by all rights, a happy, outgoing girl, but her boyfriend got her pregnant then dumped her. She started ‘showing’ while at camp, and somehow smuggled in a pregnancy test. It turned up positive, and she didn’t know how she was going to tell her parents. So she hanged herself.”

Andrea’s eyes widened and she frowned, then shut them tightly. “The way you looked at me earlier tonight… You were thinking about that girl weren’t you?”

“Yeah, I was. I didn’t know her. This all happened last summer, before I came here, but I met her best friend. Hopefully I can take you to meet her. I think it’d be good for you.”

“Maybe… Mom’s supposed to be flying out though,” she sighed. “I really don’t want to go back there, but what choice do I have?”

“There’s always a choice. It might not be the choice you like, but sometimes that’s part of life. I’m facing that kind of choice myself right now,” I mused, biting my tongue after I realized what I’d said. She turned to stare at me again. Whatever the adults were discussing, they were certainly taking their time about it, but it gave us a chance to talk, at least.

“You have a great house, awesome friends; you’re a freaking basketball star for God’s sakes. What could you possibly have to worry about?” I’ll admit, she probably didn’t mean to sound so harsh, and I certainly never meant to imply that we were having the same or similar problems, so I answered as gently as I could.

“One of my ‘awesome friends’ is having an identity crisis. He’s… into dressing like a girl, and there’s a possibility that it’s more than just ‘for fun’. I helped facilitate it, encouraging him to be himself — or herself, if that’s the case. But he doesn’t know about me. There are only a very small handful of people that do, even smaller now that everyone back in California thinks I was always a girl,” I offered teasingly, causing her to crack a small smile.

“I get it now. If he becomes a she, like, right in the middle of the school year…”

“Right. It’d be like when your relationship with that other girl was exposed. The school board knows about my transgendered status, but they’ve kept it quiet for now because, for all intents and purposes, I AM a girl. I’m developing normally through puberty like any other girl our age. The one major difference is I don’t have a period, and I can’t physically have children.”

She rolled her eyes. “Lucky you.” She paused, staring at my breasts. “… You really are a girl aren’t you?”

“You’re just noticing that?” I teased.

“Alright, girls,” Officer Garrett interrupted us, stepping back into the living room. We turned in unison to look at her, and she paused, quirking one femininely shaped eyebrow. “You seem to be feeling better,” she offered, a little surprised.

Andrea nodded. “I guess I just needed a good, hard cry, and a good friend to cry with.”

“Anyway, I’ve talked it over with your parents Robin, and under normal circumstances, I’d recommend protective custody due to the suicide risk.” Andrea cringed, her gaze shifting straight down, but Jane continued, “However… These are far from normal circumstances. I’ve worked with you before, and I know for a fact that you’re a smart, caring young lady. Add to that the fact that both your Mom and your next door neighbor are registered nurses, and I’m willing to allow you, Andrea, to stay here until your Mom gets here, with some stipulations.”

“Of course, anything!” Andrea responded excitedly, almost happily.

“One, you are to call in to the local police station every four hours from the moment I leave. That means that someone’s going to have to stay up to make the call while you get some sleep, then you can call, yourself when you wake up. Two, when your Mom gets in to town I want you both down at the police station for some follow-up questions, alright?”

Andrea hesitantly looked at me. I smiled at her. “It’s okay. Jane is one of the best. She’s helped me on two separate occasions now, including during Homecoming when someone threatened me if I didn’t drop out.”

“Homecoming…?” she gave me a puzzled stare, but nodded, turning back to Jane. “Okay, as long as Robin’s family doesn’t mind all this, I’m okay with it.”

Mom cleared her throat and smiled. “It was Ash’s and my idea, sweetheart. We want you to be somewhere you’ll feel safe, and the idea of you spending a night in a police station or worse just didn’t feel like the best option for you.”

Andrea blinked several times, racing across the room to hug Mom. I hadn’t seen her hug this many people in this short span of time since I’d known her. She really had fallen far, and hard.

“Thank you so much. I promise I won’t cause any trouble!” she gushed.

While Mom and Margie gave Andrea the grand tour of the house, I walked with Officer Garrett back out to her waiting squad car. I knew I hadn’t heard the last of this, and figured it best to conclude anything more outside earshot of Andrea. She had enough on her mind already. She paused, turning back to me.

“I’m sorry, Robin. I eavesdropped on your conversation with Andrea.”

Uh-oh. I looked up at her, concerned, but she smiled. “It’s okay. It doesn’t change anything. You’re still a bright, warm-hearted girl with a knack for getting in over your head, but I do have to ask, are you absolutely certain you want her here, given your past problems?”

“Without a doubt. This isn’t the same girl I knew back then. She’s changed. I’ve never seen her hug someone, for one, let alone several times in one night. She’s obviously in a lot of pain, and she needs to be somewhere she can feel safe. I don’t know what else I can do, Jane. I’m really scared for her.”

“You’re doing the right thing by just being here for her. It’s obvious that she trusts you, and for what it’s worth, you’ve probably saved her life tonight.” She hesitated, leaning against the side of her car. “I transferred to Alpine Springs a year ago, after I was called out to Camp Kutomanu.” She exhaled slowly, shaking her head as she pulled open the door to her squad car, sat down, and looked back at me. “You already know the rest of that story. Take care of her Robin. I don’t ever want to answer another call like that again.”

Before she could close the door, I reached out to hold it open then stepped closer, and bent down to hug her. “I’m sorry, Officer Garrett. I didn’t mean to bring back bad memories for you. Thank you so much for telling me though, and for coming to help sort this out. For what it’s worth you’re… kind of my hero.” I smiled meekly even as she chuckled to herself.

“Thanks, Robin. You have a safe evening alright? Just relax and look after your friend.”

“Yes ma’am,” I replied, stepping back to let her pull the door closed. I waved, briefly, and turned to walk back in the house. I saw Andrea in the window as I drew closer, my basketball sneakers crunching the loose, fresh snow with the day-old stuff from the weekend.

She stepped into the foyer from the living room when I came inside, patiently watching as I removed my shoes, jacket, and wind suit pants. I still had my basketball uniform on underneath, and I hadn’t had a shower yet. I must have smelled awful.

“Is everything okay? I mean… She didn’t say anything else about me did she?”

“No, that was about me. She overheard us talking.”

“Oh shit. Robin, I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay,” I offered. “I’d hug you but I haven’t had a shower yet.” That brought a small smile to her face. I motioned for her to follow, and turned to head upstairs, leaving my sneakers in the foyer to air dry for now.

“It turns out Jane was the first one to respond when Crystal died. She got a transfer after that because it … I guess it just shook her up. I can’t blame her. She’s strong, but I saw what it did to Crystal’s friends. Our camp didn’t have ANY CITs until my friends convinced me to sign up with them.”

“CITs?” she asked as we reached the top step. I smiled as I glanced back at her.

“Counselors in training: it’s a leadership program in Girl Scout camps. You help our senior counselors, organize events, and stuff, but otherwise you’re just a regular camper.”

“Wow. I can’t picture you riding a horse,” she laughed quietly. I giggled as I took her hand, pulling her into my bedroom. Of course, I left the door open.

“The horse agreed. I got thrown into the bushes my first time out. Fortunately they were soft bushes,” I joked. “It was a lot of fun, and a great chance to really unwind after the incident.” I paused, frowning. “Oh crap. I didn’t tell you about that did I?” She frowned, shaking her head. “I’ll fill you in some other time. You’ve got enough on your mind.”

I grabbed a fresh pair of pajamas from my dresser and set them aside with a clean pair of underwear, then turned back to her. “I’m going to grab a shower, and I need to call Coach Wilson and let her know we made it home safely. Will you be okay?”

She nodded quickly. “Yeah. Your Mom said I could sleep in her room tonight, but I’m not really tired right now. I’m going to go downstairs and talk to your sister a little while. She seems really nice.”

“She is. She took me in after Mom’s accident, and she practically helped raise me. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask, okay?”

“Thanks,” she offered softly.

“No problem,” I answered, gathering my things for my shower.

“No, I mean thanks, for everything. You don’t have to be so nice to me. I’m not made of glass.”

“Maybe not,” I replied as I turned to step closer. “But you are in a lot of pain, and I don’t want to hurt you any more than you’ve already been. I meant what I said when I told you you didn’t deserve what happened.”

She smiled at that, and after a chaste peck on my cheek, she turned to quickly step out. As I left my room I caught a glimpse of her just at the top of the stairs, before turning and heading into the bathroom myself, for a much needed shower.

I woke early the next morning, though truthfully I had trouble sleeping that night anyway. Every time I’d close my eyes, those haunting images of Andrea’s wrist and what might have been kept returning, and more than once I got up to check on her even despite having Mom or Margie sitting up with her. I slid out of bed and, pulling my fleece robe from the back of my makeup table’s chair, slid my arms through the sleeves as I stepped out into the hallway.

Mom’s bedroom door was open, but when I peeked inside there was no one there. I could faintly hear Andrea and Margie, then Margie’s distinctive giggle. I padded barefoot down the stairs, poking my head in the kitchen. Margie and Andrea sat at the table with their chairs close together, and both seemed to be looking at something.

My curiosity piqued, I slipped closer, peeking over their shoulders to find a full-page scrapbook spread on Homecoming, featuring me posing with the other Maids, our Queen at the center, in a large five-by-seven photo.

“That is such a gorgeous dress,” Andrea sighed. “She is so lucky.” Apparently neither realized I was standing right behind them.

“Yeah, it’s not all been easy. We had to bring in my lawyer with threats of the ACLU getting involved to ensure she’d be able to play basketball.”

“Really?” she looked up, then back at me and squealed in surprise.

I giggled a little as I patted her shoulder lightly. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”

She exhaled, blowing her loose, uncombed bangs out of her face. “It’s fine. Margie was just showing me this scrapbook of your life as Robin.”

Margie grinned at me. “We haven’t even gotten to the part where you posed as Aria Blade at the hospital yet. I was going to surprise you with this scrapbook for Christmas, but I couldn’t resist showing it to Andrea.”

Andrea stood, wrapping her arms around my neck briefly. “You’ve really come a long way Robin. I’d be lying to say I’m not completely jealous, but you deserve it. You’re a great person. I wish I could be half the girl you are.”

“You can be, Andrea. It’s like I’ve said all along, you’re a smart girl, you’re beautiful, and you’re talented.”

“You think I’m beautiful?” she stared at me with disbelief.

“Yes! I’ve always thought you are. But you have no self-confidence. You don’t believe in yourself. I should know; I’ve been there too. It’s not just the words. You have to … Margie, help me out here?”

Margie stood, turning to face us. “You have to be brave. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Do you know who said that?”

“Franklin D. Roosevelt, I think?”

I rolled my eyes. “You would get that right the first time. I didn’t have a clue when she asked me the same question.”

Andrea giggled under her breath. “Hey, you were the one who didn’t want to take Poli Sci. But I never understood what it meant. How can you fear fear?”

“When I first started seeing a therapist for my gender issues, I was terrified. I just KNEW I’d be locked up in some insane asylum and never see the light of day again. The reality wasn’t much better. My first therapist was a closed-minded ass who thought I was acting out from lacking a proper male role model,” I rolled my eyes at the memories of Doctor Rosen. After scaring off half his clients when he literally chased me into the lobby though, I doubted he stayed in the business for very long.

“But the point is it wasn’t as bad as my mind was making it out to be. I was afraid of what might happen because I didn’t know what would happen.”

Before I could continue, someone knocked at the front door. Mom called from the living room a moment later. “I’ve got it. Andrea, dear, stay in the kitchen a moment.”

Andrea frowned, glancing at me. I shrugged. “I’d do what she says. We don’t know what she talked to Jane about last night.”

“It’s okay,” Mom said, stepping into the room again.

Speak of the devil, Officer Garrett stepped into the room. This was the first time I’d ever seen her out of uniform, and with her hair down no less! She had on a cute informal blue top and dark jeans, and a white heavy jacket, with her hair in loose curls, framing her face. She removed her sunglasses and smiled.

“I just wanted to stop in and check on you girls this morning. Officially I’m off-duty today, but if there’s anything I can do to help this go more smoothly then I’m happy to do what I can.”

Andrea smiled a little. “Thank you. I don’t know how she’s going to take all this.” She sighed. “She was pretty pissed.”

“She sounded more scared than anything,” I offered. Andrea looked at me in surprise. “Seriously. She asked me a bunch of questions about how we met, and how I ended up here in Alpine Springs. Your mom loves you. She just wants to see you happy.”

As if on cue, a second, more frantic knock followed. Mom glanced at Jane, then at me. Jane followed her through to the foyer, while I squeezed Andrea’s hand, and we patiently waited. We didn’t have long to wait, however. Mom and Jane reappeared a moment later. Right behind them, Cynthia Townsend followed. She seemed as I vaguely remembered her, though she’d cut her raven locks into a short bob since April.

She stopped at the doorway when she saw us though, and started crying. “Oh, Andrea…” she whispered. Her canvas shoes barely touched the floor as she sprinted past the two women over to us, throwing her arms around Andrea and holding her tightly. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” she offered. She didn’t even give me a second glance, much to my temporary relief.

“I’m sorry Mom,” Andrea offered meekly as she buried herself in her mother’s embrace.

“What on earth were you thinking honey? We’ve been worried sick. We had the police out everywhere searching for you. Your brother thought you had killed yourself!”

She flinched at that, pulling back enough to let Cynthia see the scar she’d shown us. It was small, barely a flesh wound, but had she gone any deeper at all, they wouldn’t have been having this conversation. She started bawling into her mother’s shoulder, and I couldn’t stand by any longer. I stepped over and wrapped her in a hug from the side.

“Mrs. Townsend, there’s a lot that Andrea’s kept to herself over the last few months, but she’s ready to ask for help now. That’s what all this was about.”

She stared at me with a frown. “Young lady, if my daughter needs help, she should have come to me, not just jumped on a bus and run away from-”

“Mom, stop!” Andrea snapped back. “This is exactly why I didn’t come to you in the first place!” Cynthia clammed right up, staring down at Andrea. “Robin listens to me. She’s a GOOD person, and I respect her a lot more than I do you right now, and what you said is EXACTLY why! I’m not going back with you!”

Without warning, she shoved her mother away and ran away from her, right out the back door. I suddenly had visions of the time I got lost in the woods because I was emotionally distraught and confused. That was back in June, not November.

“Oh no,” I spoke softly. Officer Garrett had apparently had the same idea. She glared at Cynthia.

“You stay here. I’ll go get your daughter, and we’re going to CALMLY discuss this, but until this is resolved, no one is going anywhere.”

As Jane ran after Andrea, Cynthia walked to the kitchen table where Margie’s scrapbook lay out, and sat down, staring blankly at my Homecoming photo. I walked to the door, poking my head out to see what became of Andrea.

Luckily she hadn’t gone far. I found her sitting with Jane on the old porch swing that hung from the tree in our back yard. I’d actually forgotten it was even there. She sat in the snow, with Jane’s heavy coat draped around her, shaking her head vehemently at the officer.

“Jane’s talking her down,” I offered quietly, glancing back. Cynthia slowly looked up at me.

“Where did I go wrong? What did I do wrong to make her hate me so much?”

I quickly shook my head. “She doesn’t hate you. Listen,” I stepped closer, pulling back the chair where Andrea herself had sat earlier, and turned it to face her mother as I sat. “Andrea’s been through a lot. Someone was even threatening her at school. If I tell you the whole story, will you promise not to just jump to conclusions? Your daughter is in a bad, bad place right now, and all I want — ALL I want is to see her get better.”

Slowly, she nodded. She listened as I recounted, again, what had happened. I began with how we became involved, and predictably, she immediately stopped me. “Wait a minute. There was a boy she was dating for a couple of months last year…” She stared at me. “Was that-”

I nodded. “That wasn’t a boy she was dating, though,” I offered softly. “But it didn’t last. She was just using me to get back at someone, and I got the crap kicked out of me for it.”

She practically glowered at that, but I held up a hand to remind her of her promise. From there I continued to explain what Andrea had told us the night before. Andrea and Jane came back inside, but I continued to talk. I was on a roll, I’d gotten her to sit down and listen, and I wasn’t going to stop now.

“When she came up to me at the McDonalds where her bus stopped, there was just no way I’d let her leave again. My basketball coach agreed, and we took her with us to the game, and since my parents were there,” again with that word ‘parents’. It was becoming more natural all the time. “We just came home together, since I was injured during the game anyway.”

She slowly turned to stare at Andrea. “… Is all this true?”

Andrea nodded softly. “I can’t go back there because everyone hates me. I tried to change. I tried to be nice to people, and it just went from bad to worse.”

She started to respond, but paused, staring at me. She shifted her gaze down to the scrapbook photo again, then back at Andrea, and stood, stepping closer. She wrapped her in a tight hug, holding her close. “Then I won’t make you. I don’t know what other option we have, but we’ll figure this out, sweetheart. We’ll work it out together, I promise you.”

“Thank you, Mom,” she sniffed. “That’s all I want.”

Jane cleared her throat. “I’m going to need you both to come down to the police station with me. Don’t worry, neither of you are in any trouble. I just need to ask you both some follow-up questions, and I’d like Andrea to meet with a counselor.”

Cynthia nodded softly. “Yes, of course. Andrea, go wait in the living room for me. I need to speak to your friend.”

Andrea nervously looked between us then hurried into the living room. I wondered, as Cynthia approached me, if she’d be eavesdropping. Her mother stepped in front of me, leaned close, and wrapped me in a hug. “Thank you Robin. I’m not sure how I feel about my daughter dating another girl, but … it’s obvious she has good taste at least.” She smiled weakly.

“She’s not … normally, y’know?” I chuckled. “For what it’s worth. The thing with the other girl was exactly the same thing I went through with her, sort of a reversal of fortunes. The difference is, I moved here to be with the new friends I made after my mom’s car accident. I found myself here, long before I decided to stay, where Andrea was coming here to find some sense of sanity.”

I smiled at her. “We’ll help you figure this out. You’re not alone, and neither is she.”

“You… really do care for her don’t you?” she asked softly.

I nodded. “Yeah, I do. I want her to be happy. She doesn’t deserve what she’s been through. Nobody does.”

As she and Jane stepped through to the living room, Mom wrapped me in a hug. I wearily put my head on her shoulder. “God, I hope she’s going to be okay.”

“Andrea, or her mother?” she asked, quite serious. I chuckled a little.

“Both. I need to go get dressed, call Ally, and figure out an excuse for why I didn’t do my homework.”

Mom smiled. “If you need to skip a day, just this once, I’ll vouch for you.”

I smiled at that, but shook my head. “No, I need to be in school so I can quash any rumors before they even start. Nikki doesn’t know about any of this, and I’d rather she hear it from me.”

I wanted to feel like a great, heavy weight had been lifted off my shoulders, as I plodded up the stairs to get ready for school, but truthfully, it only felt a little lighter. We were far from out of the woods yet. At least Cynthia seemed willing to hear Andrea out though, and Andrea would herself receive some counseling. I felt some relief having Jane involved too. I just hoped this wasn’t the last time I’d see Andrea.

I hadn’t heard a word from Andrea or Cynthia all day, and they weren’t at my house when I arrived home after school. Mom and Margie were both out and about, so I left a note on the fridge, heading right for Allison’s. Now I remembered why I didn’t want to permanently move out of Margie’s just yet. The convenience of my other set of parents next door was just too great to give up so easily.

“Is that you Robin?” Carol called from the kitchen. I poked my head around the door, offering her a weary smile. “My goodness. Are you alright? You look terrible.”

“Stressed right out, but I’m okay,” I replied neutrally, stepping closer. “Did Ally tell you what happened?”

“With your friend from California? Yes. If there’s anything Joe and I can do to help, just let us know.”

“Thanks,” I answered, smiling a little. “It’s just so draining. I barely got any sleep last night worrying about her. Now I haven’t heard anything from them, and they’re not home. It’s just so frustrating not knowing anything.”

“I know, sweetheart. Allison and Nicole are downstairs if you want to go talk to them.” Nicole! She had not taken the news well, unsurprisingly. Allison called that night to fill her in since she knew I wouldn’t be able to. In Nicole’s defense, she was more worried about how this would affect me than about me getting involved with Andrea. That ship had sailed long ago.

“Hey cutie,” Nicole chirped as I appeared on the steps. “How’s the ankle?”

“Better. Don’t know why Coach wouldn’t let me participate in P.E. today,” I offered, losing myself in her warm embrace. She kissed my forehead, leading me over to the sofa where Allison sat sprawled out, working on her algebra. Both girls giggled as I found myself pulled right into Nicole’s lap.

“Gee, couldn’t be because you almost dozed off twice just sitting on the bleachers,” she teased, squeezing my sides. I giggled a little as her fingers found a particularly ticklish area.

“Yeah, yeah. Hey, do you think I could get a really, really big favor out of you?”

“Of course!” she replied without hesitation. I smiled a little at her enthusiasm, leaning down for a quick kiss.

“You’re the best. If Andrea stays in town like her Mom agreed to, would you be willing to visit Natalie again?”

“Um, sure, but I’m guessing you want to take Andrea with us?” she asked more neutrally. I nodded.

“I want her to meet Natalie. She needs to see firsthand what Crystal’s death did to her.”

Nicole blinked, staring at me. “Okay.”

“Nikki… Just before she came here, she tried to kill herself.”

“Ohmygawd,” Nicole and Allison gasped in unison. Allison dropped her pencil, staring straight at me.

“Yeah,” I offered softly. “Officer Garrett said I probably saved her life by taking her in like this, giving her, y’know, a little bit of hope.”

Allison pushed her book closed, sliding closer. She stood and leaned down to wrap me in a hug. “In that case, count me in too.”

“Thanks, Ally,” I offered, squeezing her back. Unable to resist the temptation, I goosed her sides just enough to throw her off balance, then pulled her down onto my lap. Nicole and Allison both squealed at the sudden body pile.

Allison laughed as she rolled off onto the sofa. “What was that for?”

I giggled a little. “Sorry. I just needed a reason to smile, and spiking Kelly’s shampoo with honey seemed like a bad idea.”

“Oh, ONE time!” Nicole laughed. I started to slide off her lap, but she grabbed me and started to tickle me again.

“Okay, okay, I give!” I giggled. She gave one last squeeze for good measure, smiling proudly. Allison just rolled her eyes.

“God, you two.”

Someone knocked faintly at the basement door. “I’ll get it,” I started to stand. Nicole grabbed me, pulling me back down again, right into a kiss.

“No you won’t,” she grinned. Allison giggled as she stood, poking her head over the stairwell to call up, “Mom, is that you?”

“I-it’s me,” Andrea answered.

“It’s not locked. Come on down.”

Footsteps followed. Again, I started to get up, but Nicole’s threat of a severe tickling kept me in place. Allison grinned, speaking to our new arrival in her friendliest tone. “Make yourself at home. And don’t mind the lovebirds. Can I get you something to drink?”

“Lovebirds?” she glanced over at us. “Oh,” she giggled under her breath. “Nah, I’m good. Thanks. No one was home at Robin’s, but I saw the note on the refrigerator. I hope I’m not intruding,” she continued.

Nicole glanced back and smiled. “Nah. We’re always like this,” she grinned back at me, stealing a quick kiss. “Okay, not ALWAYS, but we haven’t had a chance to hang out since Saturday.”

“Oh… I’m sorry,” she murmured as she approached.

“Eh, not your fault. Robin got in from her game so late last night that it wouldn’t have mattered, plus she babysat for her cheer coach Sunday night too. That’s always fun.”

“You cheer too?”

I quickly shook my head. “Not yet, but I’m thinking of taking gymnastics next semester, then going to cheer camp this summer after Girl Scout camp.”

“Hey, um… Can I ask you guys something? You’re… all girl scouts right?”

“Yeah. Robin and Nikki are first-timers and first-year CITs,” Allison answered. “Jen and I are the only ones that’ve been doing this since we were kids.”

“Do you … um … Do you think maybe I could …”

I had to smile. “You want to join the Scouts? It’s seriously never too late.”

“Yeah, and if they’ll accept me, they’ll take anyone,” Nicole added with a dry laugh. She motioned that she’d let me up, and as I slid off her lap, she explained. “See, when I was a little girl I was a Brownie back in Louisiana. My parents — that is, my REAL asshole parents, not my awesome adopted parents, got caught stealing cookie money, and that was the end of that, until this summer when Ally asked me and Robin to join.”

“How did all this come about anyway?” Andrea seemed to be relaxing and loosening up a little. For my friends’ parts they seemed to be willing to give her another chance, as well.

Allison glanced at me before answering. “Well, there’s two stories behind it. Did she tell you about Crystal?”

“Yeah. That was really sweet what you guys did for her.”

Allison smiled at that. “Right. Well, because of Crystal, nobody wanted to be a CIT this last year. My friend Jen, who you’ll meet later tonight if you’re still here by the way, was like, the ONLY girl to sign up. The camp was depending on one girl to do it all, and it stressed her out. This is a half-Hawaiian surf chick. You can imagine what this would do to a normal person.”

We all giggled at that side-comment, listening as Allison explained from the beginning how the camp needed more CITs, and led into the other, darker story about why we all needed a change of scenery. She spoke somberly of the day we met our army hero, Sergeant Harris, and the maniac who chased us into his house. When she finished, Andrea, who had sat down on the floor halfway through, stared up at us in silence.

“Wow… You weren’t kidding when you said you guys had your own problems. Suddenly getting some stupid threats doesn’t sound so bad.”

“You were threatened?” Nicole perked up.

“Yeah, but it’s no big deal…”

“Wrong, girlie. It’s a very big deal. Robin and I were threatened with some pretty nasty notes when she was nominated for Homecoming royalty. You can’t just take that kind of thing lightly. You’ve got to stand up like we did. Robin went straight to the principal, and the bastard that did it got thrown out of school.”

“Actually…” I corrected, sheepishly, “It was more like Mrs. Ellis, our AP English teacher, led me to the principal’s office after she saw the note. But the rest is true. It was Officer Garrett whom you met last night, who took our statements and made sure things got done.”

“She’s really nice,” Andrea added. “She stayed with me like, all day even though two different cops asked her why she wasn’t relaxing at home.” She started to blush, drawing her knees to her chest as she set her chin against them.

“God I wish I could stay here forever. I know it’s not possible. There’s just way too much that would have to change, but… I would give anything to have what you guys have.”

Nicole coyly tilted her head, staring down at Andrea. “You’ve really come a long way since June haven’t you?”

Andrea stared up at her with confusion. “What?”

“When I first met you, you were a catty bitch with only the most basic of human sympathy. The only reason you felt bad for what you did to Robin was obviously because it hurt you socially, which you proved when you called her up not long ago, but now, if she hadn’t told me who you were I’d never believe it. C’mere.”

Andrea cautiously stood. She watched as Nicole reached into her pocket, hoisting herself up enough to slide her hand deep into her black jeans. She stood, motioning for me to stand as well, and then turned back to Andrea. “Give me your wrist.”

“What?”

“Just do it,” she insisted. “I wasn’t sure if I’d be giving this to you or not. Ally called me last night and told me what had happened, and at first I was pretty upset by it, but the more we talked, the more I figured I’d just wait and see what happened, so…”

Andrea nervously held out her scarred wrist. Nicole frowned. “Better use the other one, unless you want to draw attention to that?” she advised. Andrea agreed, lowering her wrist and offering the other one. At first I wasn’t sure exactly what she was up to, until I saw the twists of colored yarn. I couldn’t help grinning.

“It’s been our tradition to make one of these for new friends. I WAS going to give this to another new friend, Kathy, but she goes to school with us so it’s not like I’ll never see her again,” she explained, as she tied the friendship bracelet into place. “We gave one to Robin the first day of Girl Scout camp. We wear them when we’re going out in public together, and … well, you can wear yours to remember you have friends here.”

Andrea stared at it for a moment. Tears fell as she wrapped Nicole in a hug. “Thank you… I-I don’t know what to say.”

Nicole smiled, patting her back lightly. “Look, I don’t like to talk about this, but my parents are rich, and I mean that day we met? Two days earlier, I got my dad to pull some strings and score us first class tickets just to get Robin to her Mom faster.

“I don’t believe in throwing money at a problem to solve it, and I would NOT be saying this if I thought for a moment that you were even remotely like you used to be, but if there’s anything I can do to help you, don’t be afraid to ask, alright?”

“We’re still trying to figure out what’s going to happen next,” Andrea offered softly as she sat down on the floor. I watched her thoughtfully smile at her new bracelet as the three of us sat as well. “Mom dropped me off at Robin’s while she goes back to the hotel to call Dad. … All I know is I can’t… I refuse to go back to my old school again. I just can’t do it.”

Allison smiled as she leaned forward, squeezing Andrea’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. We’ll help you figure something out. It’s what friends are for, and if Robin AND Nikki both say you’ve changed, then I’m behind you one-hundred percent.”

“So, Homecoming Royalty?” she abruptly asked, causing the three of us to giggle.

It still felt kind of weird in that old-girlfriend-new-girlfriend way, but Andrea seemed vastly more calm now than she had the night before. She didn’t seem as nervous or anxious, or for that matter, psychotic.

I had no idea what we were going to be able to do to help her, but Nicole’s offer really surprised me, and gave me some hope that whatever it took, we would work something out to everyone’s best interest.

~* Resolution *~ Natalie smiled reassuringly. “When Ally called, she said it was really important that I meet you,” she offered in a friendly tone. Taking Andrea’s hand, I gently rolled her sleeve back. She closed her eyes tightly, clamping down on her bottom lip. “Natalie, Andrea’s been having a really rough time back in California. She-” “Oh my God,” Natalie gasped. She leapt to her feet, racing past Cynthia and stopped to kneel in front of Andrea, who by now looked like she might be on the verge of tears again. “Please tell me this isn’t what it looks like,” she continued in a more serious tone.

---

There’s a certain kind of warmth that accompanies a well-used kitchen during the holidays. It’s an experience I never really thought about before that night. It wasn’t just the heat of the oven or the scent of vanilla in the air, but the warmth of two human hearts sharing our laughter.

Andrea more than anyone truly and desperately needed these kinds of simple human connections that I took so easily for granted. After Jennifer and Nicole had gone home for the evening, I'd had a crazy, mad, wonderful idea to pass the time.

I’ve mentioned before that I learned to cook out of necessity, but in truth, I also learned to love to cook. Every new recipe brought with it a new culinary adventure, but I found joy in even the most humble of recipes, shared with a friend found in the strangest of places.

We at least managed not to make too much of a mess of the kitchen, although the casualties of war still amounted to two mixing bowls and a light dusting of flour on the counter.

I couldn’t help laughing as I realized Andrea also had a spot of flour right on the tip of her nose. She gave me an odd stare, so grinning, I reached to pluck a spoon from a nearby drawer.

I watched her scrunch her nose at the distorted reflection in the polished metal. It took her a moment to register what I was showing her. She reached a hand up to swat the excess flour away, laughing.

“I never knew cooking could be so much fun. Usually chocolate chip cookies in my house come in a bag with a little elf on the front.”

I had to giggle. “My mom used to work long hours, and when I was younger she attended night school while holding down a job as a waitress, so I learned to cook pretty early on. I hardly ever bake though.”

“Wow. So what happened to your dad?” she asked. It occurred to me that I actually never told her much about my family. Granted, she never cared to ask either. Back then she was always preoccupied with who saw us together and when, and that was about it. I didn’t know what I saw in her. Desperation is stupidly blind, I guessed.

I smiled reassuringly, as I kind of had a feeling how this ‘new’ Andrea would respond to what came next. “He left Mom when I was little. He always paid child support, up until he was killed in an industrial accident, but that’s all I knew of him: a check and a big, fat life insurance policy.”

She frowned at that, but nodded. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories.”

“It’s okay,” I said with a shrug, still smiling at her. “It’s ancient history. Besides, Margie said he wasn’t really father of the year material anyway, so I didn’t really miss much. My future step-dad, on the other hand…”

“Is awesome,” she answered. “I can’t believe he got that Brittany chick’s dad to come to you guys’ game. That was so sweet.”

“Girls?” Cynthia called from the living room. Neither of us heard her come in apparently, as Andrea looked rather surprised toward the door, calling back.

“In here Mom! Robin’s teaching me to bake cookies.”

Cynthia looked like she’d seen a ghost. She stared blankly at us. “Andrea, cooking? Excuse me, I think I have the wrong house.” She grinned, causing Andrea to roll her eyes.

“Oh, Mom.”

I pulled the oven door open just enough to peek inside, offering Andrea the oven mitt so she could do the honors. She pulled it daintily over her hand, reached into the oven, and drew out the cookie sheet. They weren’t the most spectacularly beautiful confections to ever grace an oven, but they didn’t burn or turn out hideously lumpy.

Cynthia smiled thoughtfully as she watched us. She didn’t say a word as Andrea held the cookie sheet stable for my spatula to remove them. Andrea took one from the top, turning to her mother and offering it. “Tell us what you think?”

Cynthia, caught by surprise by her daughter’s abrupt offer, accepted the cookie. We watched with baited breath while she bit down. I’d never seen her smile like that.

“Oh, girls, these are heavenly! So moist and … Mmm!”

Andrea giggled. “It’s Robin’s recipe. I just helped, really. So what did Daddy say?”

“Well,” her mother began, motioning for Andrea to follow her. She grabbed a cookie for herself, as did I, but when I started to leave the room, Cynthia called after me. “No, Robin, I want you here too.”

Andrea glanced back at me and smiled. She grabbed my arm, gently tugging me along as she crossed the joint kitchen-dining room, sitting at the table. I sheepishly sat down beside her, with Cynthia taking the next chair up at the head of the rounded-rectangular-ish oak table.

“The way we see things, forcing you to go home, to return to your old school would be detrimental at best.”

Andrea nodded slowly. “I’m sorry Mom. I just cannot go back there.” She emphasized ‘not’ firmly and with distinction.

“There’s also no way we can just move you here, either. Not right now anyway.”

Andrea nodded softly. She had a kind of sadness in her eyes as she stared down at her half-eaten cookie, turning it slowly over in her hands.

“That doesn’t mean you can’t come visit though.” Cynthia paused, watching her daughter’s eyes light up at that bit of good news. She smiled. “But as to what we’re going to do, I’m afraid I don’t have an answer just yet.”

Just as Andrea’s face fell, something occurred to me, or rather, someone. Kelly transferred schools when she was our age to another school in the district, specifically to avoid having problems. It was a long shot, but worth offering. I cleared my throat.

“What if Andrea just switched schools?” Andrea slowly looked up. Her eyes reflected the uncertainty she must have felt, so I elaborated.

“I’m not at liberty to really discuss why all this happened, but a friend of my family’s, when she was Andrea’s and my age, faced similar problems with school. She transferred to another school in the district, and it ended up being the best three years of her teenage life.”

Cynthia leaned back into her chair as Andrea’s gaze shot from me to her. She seemed to be holding her breath, waiting for her mother to respond. “That sounds like a reasonable compromise.”

“Really?!” Andrea squealed, leaping to her feet, which sent her chair flying backwards. She excitedly hugged her mom. Cynthia honestly giggled at the sudden, positive reaction from Andrea.

“And now that Jen’s helped me get my computer set up we can stay in touch that way, plus you have my phone number too, if you just need to hear a friendly voice.”

She smiled back at me, standing upright for only the length of time it took her to close the distance between us before bending down to wrap me in a hug. Her moist tears stained my face as she brushed her cheek against mine. “Thank you so much. Thank you for everything. Robin, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Pay it forward,” I whispered as I hugged her back, giving her a chaste kiss on her cheek. “You’re smart, beautiful, and talented. Just be yourself and let things happen naturally. That’s what happened to me.”

I paused, glancing back at Cynthia. She sat smiling at us. I think she understood now what I meant to Andrea. I don’t think any of the three of us understood WHY or HOW this had all come about, but we all understood the ‘what’ now. I had inadvertently become Andrea’s sanity anchor, for lack of a better term.

Andrea sniffed as she nodded in answer. I stood to hold her in a proper hug, and for several long seconds, we just stood silently like that. Not two teenagers who ‘used to date’, or even two goofy girl friends with a weird history.

Right there, and right then, we were just Robin and Andrea, two girls who, by strange happenstance, started to mean a lot more to each other than either ever believed possible.

“Before you guys go back,” I began, my own voice cracking. I couldn’t help the tears that now flowed. It just coalesced into such an emotional moment for the both of us. “There’s someone I want Andrea to meet. She lives a few towns over, but we went to camp together. Her name’s Natalie and, well, her best friend succeeded where Andrea didn’t.”

~oOo~

School seemed to just fly by that day. I absolutely hated neglecting the Trent-Trina situation, but at the same time, I couldn’t just very well tell him (or was that her?) that Kathy had told us what was going on. I’d try to approach him soon though. I had to do something, as I had a personal stake in what came next.

I had originally asked Nicole to drive us to see Natalie, but I hadn’t really given a lot of thought to that idea, or that Mrs. Townsend might be reluctant to let her daughter go off alone with a group of my friends like that, even if she did seem to trust me now.

Instead, she offered to drive us in her rental car. Luckily for us, she liked SUVs. We had plenty of room for Nicole, Jennifer, Allison, Andrea and me in the sleek sport-utility.

Allison had the foresight to call ahead the night before and warn Natalie that we’d be coming for a surprise visit. Natalie was more than happy to meet Andrea, but we didn’t tell her why. It felt a little underhanded to be honest, but Andrea needed to see Natalie’s reaction firsthand.

As we pulled into the driveway at her house, the front door opened, and Natalie stepped out, dressed in a heavy winter coat. A matching headband held her hair neatly in place.

“Hi guys!” she bubbled cheerfully, practically squealing when Jennifer poked her head around the rear passenger door of the vehicle. After an eventful exchange of hugs between the two, and a somewhat less bouncy hug between the rest of us, I motioned to the newcomers.

“Natalie, this is Andrea Townsend and her mom, Cynthia.”

“Hi there!” Natalie warmly replied, shaking hands with both. “Come on inside. My brother and his girlfriend are doing their homework at her house, and my parents are out shopping, and I don’t even know where my older brother’s hiding,” she mused, rolling her shoulders as she led us inside. “So, Robin says you’re one of her friends from California?”

Andrea nodded nervously. We spread out across the living room taking whatever available seating we could find. I found a cozy spot on the sofa between Nicole and Andrea, Jennifer and Allison sat on a smaller matched loveseat, and Cynthia seated herself beside Natalie in one of the Pooles’ pair of wingback chairs.

“Yeah. We were…” she paused, glancing at me. I smiled and nodded.

“It’s okay. Natalie knows.” Granted, Mrs. Townsend didn’t, but she’d just think I meant Natalie knew I liked girls - hopefully.

“Sort of-but-not-really dating for a little while. It’s a long story.”

Natalie smiled reassuringly. “When Ally called, she said it was really important that I meet you,” she offered in a friendly tone. Taking Andrea’s hand, I gently rolled her sleeve back. She closed her eyes tightly, clamping down on her bottom lip.

“Natalie, Andrea’s been having a really rough time back in California. She-”

“Oh my God,” Natalie gasped. She leapt to her feet, racing past Cynthia and stopped to kneel in front of Andrea, who by now looked like she might be on the verge of tears again. “Please tell me this isn’t what it looks like,” she continued in a more serious tone.

Andrea nodded softly. “I-I didn’t have the guts to go through with it. They didn’t tell you the whole story why I’m here. I didn’t just come to visit Robin. I ran away from home,” she whimpered, tears rolling down her cheeks.

I slid an arm around her to hold her, while Natalie stared blankly at her wrist. Finally, slowly, she looked up again, tears rolling down her own cheeks now.

“Andrea, this is never, ever the answer. When Crystal killed herself, it ruined my life. I was angry, depressed, sad, and in so much pain. I didn’t know how to cope with my pain, so I lashed out at people.

“For a year I carried that grief inside me, and more than once, I honestly thought about just walking into the lake at the camp. I wanted to be with Crystal again. I wanted to see her beautiful smile, hear her angelic voice. I wanted to hear her tell me it would be okay,” she sobbed.

“She was my best friend, and so much more. She was like a sister to me. When she did what she did, all I wanted to know was why she thought she was beyond hope. Why did she not ask me for help first? Andrea, Crystal saved my life. She saved me from myself one week before she killed herself. What do you think that does to you?”

Andrea shook her head slowly. She had no answer. I didn’t have one either. Andrea slowly leaned forward though, staring Natalie right in the eye. Her lower lip quivered as she seemed to search for her words.

“I’m sorry,” she finally whispered. “I really am. I’ll never do it again, I swear.”

“You’d better not,” Natalie responded. “It’s the most selfish, diabolical thing a person can do. For them it’s instant, but for the people that LOVE them, that CARE for them? It’s a cruelty that shouldn’t be wished on your worst enemies, let alone your best friends.”

Without warning, she stood, taking both Andrea’s hands and tugging her right up off the couch and into her arms. She held her tightly as she whispered in her ear. “There's something I want you to have.”

She released Andrea from her embrace, only to take her by the hand. She looked back at me with a smile. “Robin, everyone, you come too,” she spoke softly. We all stood, following Natalie as she led the helpless-looking Andrea to what was apparently her bedroom.

She released her hand and passed by her day bed laden with stuffed animals to a small makeup table where a simple cedar-crafted jewelry box rested. She opened it, taking something out, and turned back to approach Andrea.

“This was Crystal’s locket. It’s one of the only two things I have of hers, the other being that air freshener dispenser thing.”

She smiled, even giggling a little as she held up a silver heart-shaped locket on a matched chain. Andrea jumped as Jennifer gathered her auburn hair into a ponytail, moving it aside for Natalie to clasp the chain around her neck.

“Anytime you feel scared, lonely, or like you have no hope, I want you to look at this, and I want you to remember; you have people who care about you, including me.”

Andrea looked down at the locket in her hand and back at Natalie again. “I-it’s beautiful, but I can’t-”

“Yes, you can,” she responded before Andrea could finish. The touching scene left us all in tears. We, including Cynthia, gathered around the two girls in one massive group hug.

Returning to the living room, we sat and talked for some time after that, mostly about what would happen next, but also about how Andrea had gotten to this point, and how she could avoid falling this far ever again. As we stood to leave, Natalie added.

“I really enjoyed talking to you. Will I ever see you again?”

Andrea paused, glancing at her mother. “I really want to come visit again soon, but I don’t know when.”

Cynthia wrapped Andrea in a hug. “We’ll work something out honey. I promise. Christmas break is only a week and I’d really rather have you home, but if, by December, you decide you’d rather spend it here, then I’ll work something out with your father.”

She squealed. “Really?! Oh Mom you’re the best!”

I couldn’t help giggling as well, and even the girls seemed genuinely enthused about the idea, but Nicole’s response practically floored me.

“Hey, I told you before, my family’s really well off. We have like, tons of rooms we only sparingly use for guests. I’ll even let you stay in the Heedless Despair suite if you want.”

Andrea slooowly turned to stare at Nicole, who had, to use one of her Nikki-speak phrases, ‘grinned like a mule eating a thorn bush’. “You heard me. C’mon, I’ll explain on the drive home.”

~oOo~

By the end of the week, things finally felt as though they were coming back into some sense of cosmic balance again. Andrea and Cynthia returned to California, with Andrea’s solemn vow that she would not only call me the second she touched down again, but that she would also seek counseling while waiting for her parents to sort out the school transfer business.

Now I could finally track down Trent and find out first-hand what had been going on between him and Lisa’s Mom. We had no classes together, but we shared a lunch period, so I knew that would be my best time to track him down. The only problem was that for the last two days he hadn’t come to the cafeteria for lunch either. I spotted Lisa and Mark entering, and immediately approached them.

“Hey Robin,” Mark spotted my approach and waved. I smiled a little. “Hi guys. Have you seen Trent?”

“Not today,” Lisa answered, “But that’s mostly because the yearbook people are swamped trying to meet deadlines. I’m sure if you ask Mrs. Ellis she’ll let you in the Journalism department to talk to him though,” she added with a cheerful smile.

“Thanks! Oh Mark?”

“Yeah?”

“Ally’s looking for you,” I grinned innocently. Lisa giggled as the poor guy shifted from his usual goofy smile to an outright nervous deer-in-headlights stare.

“Come on you. Let’s go see what she wants,” she said as she wrapped her arms around his, tugging him along like a condemned prisoner. I meanwhile, had a photographer to track down.

I’d never actually been inside the journalism department, only barely recalling that it even existed. It felt like the school built it as an afterthought, attaching it like a janitor’s closet off to one side of one of the classrooms rather than giving them their own area to work.

This also meant I’d have to interrupt a class in-session. I quietly slipped inside Mrs. Ellis’ classroom. She glanced up from her desk and smiled, motioning me over.

“Hi Robin. What can I do for you?”

“I’m looking for Trent. Have you seen him today? It’s really important.”

Her face shifted to what I couldn’t call a frown, so much as a contemplative stare. After a moment she nodded. “I think I saw him head into the darkroom over an hour ago. You’re welcome to go back and see. Just make sure you knock if the door’s closed. They sometimes forget to turn on the ‘in use’ light.”

“Thank you,” I smiled as I turned to step away.

“Is everything alright?” she asked, causing me to turn back to her.

“I hope so,” I offered sincerely. It was the best answer I could give. She seemed to understand what I meant and left it at that, and I turned back to continue.

I noticed a few students watching me cross the room, but I’d grown accustomed to it by now. I’d gone from the new girl to homecoming princess without even trying, to say nothing of my very public relationship with Nicole.

I gently patted Elaine’s shoulder as I passed her by. She glanced up from her computer long enough to give me a token smile before returning to her typing. “Kathy and Trent are in there,” she added as I approached the darkroom. I knocked gently, backing away when I heard what sounded like a plastic container being dropped.

Elaine and I both giggled as I turned back to her. “I… think I’ll just wait.”

She reached under the computer table, retrieving a half-crumpled paper bag from one of the local fast food restaurants. She turned in her swivel-office chair, extending it to me. “Chicken nuggets? I couldn’t finish them, and if you’re waiting on those two, it could be awhile.”

“Ooh, thanks!” I responded warmly as I took the offered meal. I started nibbling on one of the poultry treats, spinning an unused chair about to sit down. “I’m really worried about Trent. I wanted to try and find him for a few days now, but I had another crisis on my hands.”

The sounds of Elaine’s rapid typing slowed to a standstill and she exhaled, spinning to face me. “Robin, there’s something I … we … wanted to ask you for a little while now.”

“We?” I asked. I must have been giving her a comically puzzled stare because her serious expression cracked, and she started to giggle.

“We being the publishing staff mostly. It was Kathy’s idea, though. It seems like you’ve got a real handle on dealing with problems. Would you be interested in writing an advice column for the school paper? You could call it ‘Spirit’s Enlightenment’!” she giggled.

“You guys want me to write for the school paper?” I couldn’t believe my ears. It’s true I liked English, but I was no writer, let alone a columnist.

“Yeah; you’ve got a real knack for helping people. It’s like you see the world differently or something. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean that in a bad way.”

I rolled my shoulders. “It’s okay. I do see the world differently. I think it’s because I know what it’s like to be an outcast. I know what it feels like to have the entire school either want to use you for a punching bag, or just flat not care that you exist.”

“See, that’s what I mean. You’ve been at the absolute worst high school drama can throw at you. You’re not some goddess-figure of popularity like Chelsea. You’re a real, down-to-earth girl, and people like that about you, including me. So will you?”

“I … Yeah, sure. Why not?”

The door to the darkroom creaked open and Kathy poked her head out, looking around. She had worn the concert t-shirt Jennifer gave her, with her hair up in cute pigtails that bounced when she jerked her head toward me. She laughed. “Oh, it’s you. What’s up?”

Before I could answer, Elaine grinned. “She said yes.”

“Really?! AWESOME!”

I giggled a little. “Yeah, but that’s not why I’m here. Is Trent in there?”

“Yo,” he grunted from inside.

Kathy nodded. “We’re having … difficulties getting a picture to turn out right. Come on inside if you’ve got some time.”

Returning Elaine’s leftover lunch to her, I followed Kathy inside. Immediately, my nostrils felt like they were on fire. I coughed and tried to hold my breath as Kathy pulled the door closed. Overhead, two vents noisily whirred away. I could only imagine how awful that smell must be without them!

Trent stood hunched over a counter next to a projector-like machine containing a strip of film held under a bright light, though I couldn’t honestly begin to explain how the contraption might have actually worked.

Off to my side, just before Kathy shut off the main light, I noticed a row of five-by-seven black and white photos hanging on a clothesline above a massive, tub-like sink lined with three small trays of liquids.

“So what’s on your mind?” Trent asked, without looking up from whatever he was doing. He fiddled with some little knob on the machine. “Kathy, put your hand here. I want to try and burn in this area without getting the face mis-exposed this time.”

Kathy dutifully raced to Trent’s side, sticking her hand out as I exhaled, turning to face them.

“Honestly? You are. I’m worried about you. I wanted to come find you a lot sooner, but my ex girlfriend showed up, and all Hell broke loose.” Kathy gave me a funny stare. Trent stayed silent though.

“I just wanted you to know that if there’s anything I can do to help, just say the word.”

“Yeah, well,” he grunted, shutting the light off in the machine. He turned to face me, holding a blank piece of paper which he swiftly dunked into the first tray of chemicals. “Talk’s not going to do a lot to help me right now. Lisa’s mom is pissed, and I can’t tell her I’m Trina because it’d just make it worse.”

“Actually, it won’t,” I offered softly. He stared up at me. As my eyesight began to adjust to the dim red lights overhead, I could see the confusion tattooed all over his face.

“Lisa’s mom thinks her daughter is experimenting with lesbianism. At first she thought Nicole and I ‘rubbed off’ on her. I thought that I’d managed to convince her that that wasn’t the case, but I guess she changed her mind after hearing about Nikki’s party.”

“Wait,” he asked uneasily. Kathy, noticing his inattentiveness, quickly pulled the developed picture from the first chemical bath, letting it drip for a few seconds before moving it to the next while he approached me. “You talked to Lisa’s mom?”

“It was awhile ago, that day she gave me her Carmilla dress. I told her everything would be okay, but that I couldn’t say anymore. I didn’t want to violate your privacy saying something I had no business saying. She has no idea you’re Trina.”

He nodded softly, turning back to retrieve the photo, only to find Kathy one step ahead of him. He shot her a quiet smile. “Thanks Kathy,” he added sheepishly. She shrugged and smiled back at him.

“S’what friends are for, babe,” she teased.

“I don’t know what to do, Robin,” he continued as he looked back at me. He wrung his hands slowly, methodically as he shook his head.

“Talk to her. Tell her the truth.”

“I… I’m scared to. I’m scared of how much I’ve enjoyed my time as Trina.”

I bit my lip. “Let me ask you something. What is it about becoming Trina that you enjoy most?”

By now, Kathy had moved the photo to the third chemical bath. Trent closed his eyes for several seconds, finally responding. “It’s fun. I love dressing up and pretending I’m someone else for awhile. I love going out in heels and a cute black dress, and I really love what it’s done for my relationship with Lisa.”

“Does it feel natural?” It was the question I knew I had to ask. Robin was ‘natural’ for me. It was who I was, who I am, who I always will be.

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Like, natural how?”

“I mean, like, do you feel like presenting as Trina is who you really are?”

He actually cracked a smile at that and shook his head. “Not really. I just really, really like doing it, but I feel so guilty, especially with Lisa’s mom thinking I’m hiding something. She doesn’t even know Lisa and I are going steady.”

“Listen, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but you should see someone — a professional-”

“Like, a shrink?” he frowned at that.

“Yeah, but hear me out. She’s been my therapist since June. She’s practically one of my closest friends, and I’d trust her with my life without a second thought. Ally sees her too, but less often. She treats each of her patients, no matter what they’re there for, on an individual basis, and most importantly, she listens.”

He stared down at the freshly developed photo for several seconds. Using a pair of tongs he pulled it from its last chemical bath, ran it under running water then hung it up to dry. I turned in time to catch a glimpse of it. It was a picture of me posing as Belle at the Girl Scout Halloween party. Trent smiled at me.

“Finally got the exposure just right. We didn’t want you looking completely washed out against the background. Give me the contact information, and … I’ll talk to my parents tonight. I’m also going to go over to Lisa’s this weekend and apologize.” He stepped closer, and I soon found myself lost in the tall boy’s embrace. I happily rested my cheek against his chest as I hugged him back.

“I’d better get to class, but please let me know what happens, okay?”

He nodded as he let me go. “I will; I promise.”

~* The Other Karate Kid *~ She nodded quickly. “My Sensei’s wife went into labor yesterday. I’d been training for this for so long though, that he called Sensei Rogers and asked if he would test me instead. I still need to warm up, though.” She paused and smiled at me, eyeing my orange belt. “Would you be willing to spar with me?” “I’d be honored. I spar with another black belt pretty often, with predictable results, but I always learn something from our matches.” She positively bubbled. “You have a great attitude. Most girls would’ve freaked right out and run the other way at my dojo.”

---

Kelly’s fingers danced in an almost magical and ethereal, otherworldly movement as she played an advanced piece for me. I stood just behind her, dressed in my white karate gi and orange belt. I watched with sheer amazement over her shoulder, and when she concluded, she smiled back at me.

“Don’t worry. I don’t expect you to play like some sort of grand concert pianist. Even I’m not that good,” she chuckled, continuing, “But if you find this is something you want to continue doing more seriously I still have the contact information for my old tutor. For now, I want to show you a simple exercise you can practice when you have time, before you have to get to practice.”

She slid over, patting the lightly-padded bench beside her. Kelly may not have owned a big, fancy piano like in the movies, but she understood the importance of having a comfortable place to sit while practicing, even at her dated little electronic keyboard. Of course, I’d heard the whisperings of a possible Christmas present too.

They’d never fit it downstairs, but with the main ‘entertainment’ hub of the Jones’ house focused on their basement, the upstairs living room had a gaping hole where a full-sized upright or baby grand could be assembled. Since Kelly had expressed an interest in music again ever since she started tutoring me, it sort of made sense.

For my part, I loved the responsiveness of her electronic keyboard. It was an older model, sure, but expensive for its time with weighted touch-sensitive keys. Her passion, and my timidness, came through with every stroke.

She giggled as I fumbled through the exercise. It had a bluesy sound to it, even when I played it. It seemed so simple, just a few chords, but as with all our lessons, Kelly made this look far easier than it really was.

“Good, Robin,” she offered reassuringly as she brushed her shoulder against mine, leaning in to give me a sisterly nuzzle. “But don’t try to analyze it so much. Just relax and focus on the music. Have fun with it!”

Nicole’s giggle echoed from the top of the stairs as she called, “Hey, who let the grand pianist at Kelly's keyboard?”

“Oh ha ha, very funny,” I chided her playfully as she appeared on the bottom step. My jaw fell agape as I looked up to see her dressed in the most elegant black Victorian gown.

The bodice, broadly cut exposed her milky flesh, her bosom seemingly at once enhanced and accentuated by the silk corset adorned in satin bows which completed the ensemble. Her makeup, as expertly applied as ever, looked especially, deliciously dark tonight.

Kelly grinned to herself as she watched me stand, moving to my girlfriend’s side. I took her hands and pulled her delicately into a kiss as she wrapped me in her embrace.

“Well hi there,” she whispered sweetly, seductively and somehow, at once innocently as well.

“Nikki you look gorgeous! What’s the occasion?” I asked, rapt. She simply rolled her shoulders as she nuzzled my neck. She stole a quick, innocent kiss from her new vantage point then smiled lovingly.

“It’s been such a hard week what with Andrea showing up, and you hurting yourself that I thought maybe I’d do something special for you. You don’t mind if I drive you to practice like this do you?”

Of course, she wore a playful pout with those words. Kelly completely melted into the background as far as we were concerned. I leaned forward to steal a kiss in return, she with her muted, dark plum lipstick and I with a light touch of sparkly pink gloss. We were quite the pair.

“Of course I don’t,” I paused, grinning playfully right back at her, “as long as you don’t mind that I spend the entire drive, and probably most of practice, staring at you.”

She giggled as she took my hand. “C’mon, cutie. Bye Kelly,” she waved with her free hand. I looked around sheepishly to see Kelly still sitting there, grinning at us like the Cheshire cat that ate the canary. I gave her a delicate finger-wiggle, causing her to lose it completely.

“Have fun guys,” she called after us. The last thing either of us saw of her, she had been holding her sides, laughing, as she bolted for the nearest bathroom.

As I pulled my seatbelt across, Nicole glanced back at me and giggled. “What was that about anyway? I mean Kelly almost peed herself laughing!”

I tried so hard not to giggle at Nicole’s frank observation. I failed miserably and shook my head. “Who knows? She’s been like that for the last couple of days now. Margie too, now that I think about it.” I shrugged. I’d been so preoccupied with my own problems, like my ex-girlfriend showing up and getting Trent to talk to Doctor Ketz, that I hadn’t really seen much of either of them since Monday.

~oOo~

When we arrived at the dojo, I gave Nicole a parting kiss at the lobby for now. Our Friday nights went like clockwork ever since she turned sixteen. We’d arrive early, kiss, I’d go into the dojo proper to warm up while she went to track down a bottle of water for me.

We’d meet up again, kiss, I’d go through the motions of practice for the evening while she spent time with Jennifer and the other significant other-types (wives, boyfriends, girlfriends), after practice she’d hold my water bottle ransom until she got another kiss, and then she’d drive me home where, you guessed it, a goodnight kiss.

As I was meditating though, following my usual round of stretches, I suddenly felt as though someone were watching me. I opened my eyes, glancing around to see Sensei Rogers approaching. A fairly attractive young woman whose tightly curled strawberry blonde hair hung daintily from a ponytail followed closely. I took note that a black belt adorned her otherwise pristine white karate gi. She couldn’t have been more than twenty though.

I stood and immediately bowed when they reached me, smiling. “Hi Sensei Dad,” I teased, since it was still technically before class. The woman tried hard to stifle a giggle, pressing her palm to her lips as he glanced at her and smiled, returning his gaze to me.

“Hi Robin. This is Deborah. Deborah, this is Robin, my prized student. And I’m not just saying that because she’s my future step-daughter.” He winked, causing her to giggle again as she extended her hand.

“It’s nice to meet you Robin,” her melodious voice had just the faintest twang of Southern to it, though it sounded different from Nicole’s. Where hers had some hint of French-Cajun in the way she pronounced certain words, especially if she was excited, this girl’s seemed almost Gentry. I could feel my cheeks burn as I shook hands with her, smiling back.

“Likewise, Deborah,” I offered. Before I could ask, Sensei Dad answered the obvious question.

“Deborah came to us tonight from another dojo to test for her next degree Black belt.”

She nodded quickly. “My Sensei’s wife went into labor yesterday. I’d been training for this for so long though, that he called Sensei Rogers and asked if he would test me instead. I still need to warm up, though.” She paused and smiled at me, eyeing my orange belt. “Would you be willing to spar with me?”

“I’d be honored. I spar with another black belt pretty often, with predictable results, but I always learn something from our matches.”

She positively bubbled. “You have a great attitude. Most girls would’ve freaked right out and run the other way at my dojo.” She added as we took our positions on the mat, “I should warn you, I also study kickboxing, but I’ll try and hold back and not use those moves since this is going to be for my next degree later tonight.”

I hadn’t even noticed that Sensei Rogers had left us to our practice. I bowed to Deborah, and after she returned the gesture, she leapt forward with a loud ‘Hai!’ that belied her normally bubbly exterior. I sidestepped her punch, and I’d love to say that dodging her follow-up kick was intentional, but truthfully I panicked and bunny-hopped backwards.

As she surged forward, I ducked to the left into a low sweep that caught her ankle, knocking her off-balance. Rather than falling flat, she rolled with the momentum, moving into a tumble and somehow ending up behind me. The next thing I knew, I had a foot in my back, though it felt pretty obvious she was pulling her punches … err, kicks.

I spun around only to be caught in a defensive throw that left me flat on my back. She offered me her hand, pulling me to my feet, her bright, bubbly smile returning. “Phew. You’re a lot squirrelier than you look.” Squirrelier? I gave her an odd glance causing her to laugh. “I mean you’re light on your feet. Wow. Who’s that?” she asked with surprise. I looked over my shoulder to see who she meant. Nicole grinned, waving.

“Oh, that’s my girlfriend Nikki. I’ll introduce you,” I responded nonchalantly, before really realizing what I had said. I turned to catch Nicole in a tight hug, and after we exchanged our traditional kiss, she relinquished my water bottle.

“That was awesome. You’re like Jackie Chan with boobs,” she giggled, causing Deborah to blush just a bit, though after a moment she started laughing too. “Oh my God. I think I like you already,” she added, offering her hand. “I’m Deborah.”

“Nicole, but you and Robin look like y’all hit it off, so you can call me Nikki.”

“Y’all?” Deborah asked, grinning. “You’re a southerner too?”

“Well, not exactly: transplanted from Louisiana. I moved around a lot, lotta foster homes, ended up here. Found awesome adopted parents, fell in love,” she paused, glancing at me with a dark, impish grin.

“Well, hey, whatever floats your boat. If Robin keeps up her practice she’ll be able to slap anyone who says otherwise six ways from Sunday anyway.” She grinned, patting my shoulder lightly. “Thanks so much for sparring with me hon. Are you entering the tournament next week?”

I blinked at her, but vaguely recalled mention of it after thinking for a few seconds. I finally shook my head. “Oh, no, I don’t do tournaments.”

“Aww, why not?” she asked as the three of us turned to step away from the mat. We still had a good fifteen minutes before the other students arrived, so I motioned for her to follow, taking Nicole’s hand in mine and giving her a gentle squeeze, more for my own sake than anything. Nicole smiled fondly in return as we sat in the ‘significant other’ section, a small arrangement of chairs off to one side of the room.

I nervously chewed my bottom lip. “Well, promise you won’t laugh?” I asked. She nodded quickly. “It’s because I only started studying Kenpo as a means to protect myself. The thought of competing just feels weird. Besides, I’m just an orange belt. There’s no way I could even place.”

She shook her head slowly, her bubbly smile fading as she leaned forward. “Oh, honey,” she spoke softly, almost sadly. She took my hand in both of hers, holding it upright. “The martial arts are all about self-defense, you’re absolutely right. But these tournaments aren’t about winning.”

“They aren’t?” I asked innocently. She shook her head.

“Nope. I don’t enter tournaments with the mentality that I’ll kick everyone’s butt and show off my awesome skills,” she emphasized the ‘zz’ sound on the end of ‘skills’. “I enter because it’s fun, and it’s a great way to display what you’ve learned. In a very real way, you honor your Sensei and your dojo by competing.”

She made a valid point, and one that I really, honestly had never thought about before. I didn’t have long to think about it though, as Sensei Dad seemed to appear out of nowhere, placing his hands on my and Deborah’s shoulders. We both jumped and squealed at once. He grinned.

“Well said Deborah. You just passed the first part of your test.”

She blinked at him, then back at me. I held my hands up. “I’m innocent. But he’s good at these ‘trick’ tests,” I giggled, glancing back at him.

“Indeed. I haven’t said anything to Robin about the tournament. I had my suspicions as to why she didn’t show any interest, but I thought that perhaps if I introduced you two, that you might hit it off and talk about it.” He paused and smiled down at me. “I really am sorry for the deception Robin, but I didn’t want you to feel pressured if you genuinely weren’t interested.”

“Oooh, he’s good,” Deborah stage-whispered, but grinned as she stood, bowing respectfully.

I stood and wrapped him in a hug, which he, by now, had become accustomed to enough to simply pat my back in return. “You’re so awesome,” I whispered happily, adding a bit more loudly next, “I’d love to represent our dojo in the tournament.”

“Excellent. I’ll give you an entry form before you go home tonight.”

~oOo~

Practice went off without a hitch, and following the water bottle ransom kiss, Nicole and I walked with Jason and Maria out to the parking lot. Jason seemed to be a lot more relaxed tonight than I’d seen him in awhile. Nicole elbowed me, practically glaring in his direction to get me to ask. Maria, noticing, rolled her eyes and laughed.

“Should I tell them or do you want to?” Jason shifted nervously, causing her to giggle even more. “You guys know how I’m only here on a temporary foreign exchange thing, and I have to go home this summer right?” We all nodded. “Well, when I talked to mi papa about posing for the big Aria Blade shoot next week, we got to talking. He said it sounded like I was really making a lot of friends here, and that it would be a real shame to give all this up and never see you guys again…” She trailed off, and Jason picked up with a casual smile.

“Her uncle’s some kind of lawyer with some political sway so they can arrange for her to get into the foreign exchange program again next year, with a pretty good chance she’ll end up here again.”

Nicole and I both squealed happily for her. We bounced, we giggled, we cried, we hugged. We being Maria, Nicole and I. Jason ducked out of the way, covering his ears from the moment we started squealing. The poor guy stood off to one side with Josh, whom we hadn’t even noticed. Jennifer came strolling up beside him a moment later.

“What’d I miss?” she asked, fighting a giggle. Josh shrugged indifferently, but Jason chuckled wryly.

“Maria might be coming back to stay on foreign exchange next year.”

Jennifer squealed, causing both boys to cringe away. She giggled. “Sorry. Couldn’t help myself,” she added with a flash of a grin their direction before coming over to hug Maria. “Congrats girl. The senior Lady Tigers just wouldn’t be the same without you next year!”

~oOo~

“Oh, don’t forget your entry form … majigger,” Nicole waved the neatly folded tournament entry form in front of me. She paused and grinned, speaking in a terrible stereotypical Old Guru impression. “But you only get form if you can snatch if from my hand! Haha!”

I tried a few times to grab it, but she was just too fast. A rather thoughtful grin crossed my lips. Her eyes widened. “Oh no,” was all she could get out, before she started squealing and cackling as I attacked her sides, tickling her mercilessly. She dropped the folded paper, and I snatched it from her lap. “No fair!” she giggled. “I’m wearing a corset remember? It’s hard to wiggle in this thing!”

“Well, I guess I can wear one for you next time to make it more even,” I teased, not really serious. Her eyes lit up.

“Really?!” she gasped.

“Err, well I-” I fumbled, blushing. She laughed.

“Relax babe, I’m only teasing. I think you’d look drop-dead sexy in one, but I’d never try and make you. You know that.”

I giggled as I leaned in to kiss her cheek. I gave her hand a soft squeeze, and she turned to face me, planting a soft, innocent kiss on my lips. A second kiss followed, more lingering, and we both smiled as we closed our eyes, losing ourselves in the bliss of the moment while it lasted. Finally, I reluctantly pulled away.

“I think I’d like to try it some time, just to see what it feels like.”

“Um?” she blinked. “Try what?”

“Wearing a corset?” I stuck my tongue out and licked the very tip of her nose. She cackled.

“Oh, Robin, Robin, Robin. There will be pictures, just so you know. I want a huge poster-sized picture of you in a corset so I can hang it on my wall. You can even wear one of my goth dresses underneath so it doesn’t look indecent. I kinda think they’re sexier over clothing anyway.”

She beamed. I wondered if I’d regret this later, but it did sound like an interesting experience. Even Trina’s worn them, so they couldn’t be that bad.

“Good night cutie,” Nicole finally exhaled with a reluctant pout. We shared one last tender kiss and I laid my head on her shoulder.

“Sweet dreams vampire. I’ll see you tomorrow night, right?”

“Why, Brain? Wot are we gonna do tomorrow night?” she responded playfully.

Taking my cue, I responded ominously. “Try to take over Chez Marceau!” I hadn’t told her Margie managed to score us reservations for our date night yet. I’d been waiting for just the right moment, and that felt like it. She squealed.

“OhmyGawd! You got us reservations? Seriously?!”

I nodded excitedly. “Well, Margie did. She said after the week we’d had, we deserved it.”

We had such fond memories of Chez Marceau, not only as the spot where we went on our first date, but also our three month anniversary, and now ‘just because’. For someone who really never liked the place before, Nicole really warmed up to it after that. She hugged and kissed me happily. I giggled as I returned the hug, and squeezed her hand as I opened the door, finally stepping out into the chill night air. She waved, still grinning brightly as I pushed the door closed, heading inside.

I thought I heard Margie and Kelly giggling in the living room. I decided that, since it didn’t sound like they heard me open the door, I’d sneak up on them. I eased it closed quietly, tip-toeing down the hall and into the kitchen to ambush them from there. I peeked around the corner.

Margie and Kelly cuddled together on the sofa, smiling and laughing. Each had a wine glass in hand, which they toasted together, and after a sip each, they slowly leaned closer. I felt my jaw fall open as they exchanged a single soft kiss. I stumbled back in surprise, tipping over a broom in the process, but I managed to catch it before it crashed to the floor. I exhaled slowly, setting it right. I decided to give the two some privacy. I quietly grabbed a red cream soda from the fridge and tried to tiptoe up to my room.

“Robin? Is that you?” Margie called from the living room. Rats! I poked my head around the corner and smiled.

“Hi guys. It’s just me.” I noted they were still holding hands. Kelly grinned as she raised her half-empty wine glass.

“Hey! We were just celebrating my new job. How was practice?”

“It was okay,” I responded. “This girl, Deborah — well I say girl but she was probably like twenty-one,” I babbled, explaining about Deborah’s ‘test’, and how she convinced me to enter the upcoming tournament. The entire time I stayed in the doorway, hoping I could break away and let them get back to their ‘celebrating’. It wasn’t that seeing them together bothered me at all though. In fact I had suspected they were dating quite awhile ago, until I saw Kelly flirting with a male waiter at a night club. They didn’t seem to be taking the hint, though.

“It sounds like fun,” Margie responded with a goofy smile. Finally, Kelly rolled her eyes.

“Well, are you going to go ahead and ask or do we have to tickle it out of you?” she teased.

“Um, ask what?” I pretended to act innocent, but I couldn’t hold a straight face and started giggling. I stepped closer and bent down to hug them. “I’m really happy for you guys.”

Kelly smiled fondly as she put her arm around me in return, kissing my cheek before letting me stand again. “In a way, this is kind of your doing, y’know.”

I blinked at her. “Me? What did I do?”

Margie set her empty wine glass aside as she snuggled closer to Kelly. Kelly for her part, wrapped an arm around my sister before answering. “Well, you and Nikki. Robin, sweetheart, this is kind of awkward for me to admit, but for years, I … I thought that since I was a girl inside, that obviously meant I had to like guys. I tried so hard to make dating work, but it felt …”

“Forced?” I asked. I knew exactly what she meant. She nodded crisply.

“Yes, exactly! It was like pretending to be a guy all over again.”

Margie giggled a little as she leaned over to kiss Kelly’s cheek. “And for my part, I had just never really met anyone that I clicked with except Kelly. We’ve been best friends since college, maybe even more, but…” she trailed off, letting Kelly pick up.

“But it wasn’t until I started to really, really watch the way you and Nikki act around each other that I realized it. You’re best friends, but you’re more than just friends. You guys share something special, and in a way, that’s what our relationship’s been like. We started talking a few nights ago, one thing led to another,” she paused. Margie, a little tipsy from the wine, started giggling too.

“And it led there again later,” she teased. My jaw fell open.

“Margie! Jeeze, TMI!”

Kelly blinked. “TMI?” she asked coyly.

Margie laughed. “Too much information — and I was just teasing. We’re … Well, neither of us is ready for that sort of thing yet. We want to see where dating goes first.”

Kelly smiled fondly back at her. I giggled. “Well, I’ll give you two some privacy. Before I go though can I ask why you didn’t say anything sooner?”

Both looked at each other, then guiltily back at me. Kelly spoke up, “We were worried about how you’d take it. You had a really bad week with Andrea showing up and all. That’s why we got you those reservations, to kind of soften the blow. We were going to tell you tomorrow night,” she explained.

Margie added, “Ally doesn’t even know yet, if that helps?”

“Ooh, can I tell her?” I begged. Kelly giggled. “Sure. I think she kind of suspects already, so if you explain why we didn’t tell you, she’ll understand.”

“Yay!” I clapped my hands together excitedly. I just wanted to see the look on her face. “I’ll see if she’s on webcam while I get ready for bed. G’night guys,” I offered with a cheerful wave. I heard Kelly giggle as I left earshot.

“She’s such a doll.”

I couldn’t reach the top of the stairs fast enough. As soon as I entered my room I turned on my laptop, waiting patiently for it to start up. After loading the chat program, four separate webcam windows popped up featuring Jennifer, Nicole, Allison, and Andrea like some sort of twisted Brady Bunch loading screen.

“Guys, you’ll never believe who I just walked in on…”

~oOo~

Saturday was a flurry of activity. Since I only saw Barbara twice a month now, and since I now had my Mom AND Kelly working at the local hospital I managed to work out with my endocrinologist to have the necessary blood samples drawn at the Alpine Springs hospital . Their lab was equipped to handle the work, and they could just fax it over, saving me the hassle of a drive to New Haven. I still had to get stuck though. I hated needles.

On the bright side however, it meant more time for me to get my hair and nails done for my coming date with Nicole. It’d been a few months since I’d had my hair styled so I was really looking forward to it. I felt humbled every time I entered Denise’s salon. She still proudly displayed the picture of Nicole and me as we posed before our first date. God, I loved that dress.

The weekend into the first day of the new week passed by uneventfully after that. I had only just posted up fliers that day with a contact e-mail address for my new column, ‘Spirit’s Enlightenment’, so I didn’t expect to see much response. Mrs. Ellis gave me some leeway in terms of time just in case, and of course she gave me a lecture on what to do if I received any lewd or threatening e-mails.

Mrs. Ellis’ husband, it turns out, was some sort of software engineer. He knew his way around a computer, and taught her well, and she taught me, mostly how to get an e-mail’s source. By Tuesday, I already had two dozen e-mails waiting for me, but I didn’t have time to check them. I had a tournament to get ready for!

To my surprise, our own North Side High would be most generously offering the use of our gymnasium for the tournament, so P.E. that day consisted of helping with setup. Of course, Maria just had to tell everyone that I’d be entering in the tournament.

“Robin’s in the tournament?” Chelsea perked up at the topic of conversation as we rolled a large and extremely heavy padded mat out across the floor. I smiled sheepishly.

“I study Kenpo style, yeah. I’m just an Orange belt, but it’s like someone recently said, it’s not about winning with these things. It’s about giving it your all and showcasing what you’ve learned.”

“Still, that’s so cool! Like The Next Karate Kid,” she mused, stopping to frown when we all stopped to stare at her.

“Julie-san? Oh come on, you guys have never watched that movie? You should rent it if you can find it. It’s a classic.”

Jennifer giggled. “I liked Curse of the Golden Flower, but I usually avoid martial art movies.”

“So can we get a demonstration?” Chelsea pleaded. I started to shake my head, but the cat was out of the bag. Several boys and girls from our class started begging for a demonstration, so I finally, reluctantly sighed.

“Alright, alright! Ally, we’ve sparred together before. Will you be my victi- I mean sparring partner?”

Allison grinned. “Sure, but only if I get to throw you on your butt after!” she teased, causing a round of giggles.

Coach Wilson blew her whistle to get our attention. “What’s going on over here?”

“We talked Robin into giving us a quick Kenpo demonstration since she’ll be fighting in the tournament tonight!” Chelsea responded excitedly. I admit, it felt kind of weird knowing I was good at something she apparently had never tried, but with her background in gymnastics I was sure she’d be good at it.

Coach Wilson smiled thoughtfully. “Weeeell, I don’t know.”

“Oh, please!” a round of begging from our fellow students followed. I bit my lip, adding to the chorus.

“Ally and I spar a lot so she knows how to fall. It’s completely safe.”

Allison quickly nodded. “Ditto for Robin. I already knew a couple of defensive takedowns, but she’s really helped me refine my technique.”

“Ohh, all right. But I’ll be watching!” Coach Wilson added with a grin, implying more that she herself was interested in a demonstration, than that she thought we might hurt each other.

The circle widened around us as we took positions on the mat. I nodded to Allison, and she darted in attempting to throw a punch. I shifted my weight to my back foot, planting it slightly off to the side even as I entangled her arm in mine. I used her momentum, pulling her closer, dug my hip in, and planted her firmly, but gently on the ground beside me to a chorus of cheers.

I giggled, helping her to her feet. She grinned. After a quick exchange of hugs, we returned to position. This time, I charged at her, giving her an open opportunity to use one of her Judo throws against me, again to a round of cheers as she pulled me to my feet. I squeezed her hand and smiled.

“The most important part is what you guys saw us do afterward,” Allison added, catching me by surprise, but I just had to grin, nodding in agreement.

“You have to leave your ego at the door when you do this. Accidents happen, even between friends.”

“Well said girls,” Coach Wilson replied. “Now, let’s get these mats set up, then you can rest. I’ll let the next class handle the block-breaking stands.”

~oOo~

Nothing could really prepare me for the night of the tournament itself. I thought it would just be Kenpo, but the banners that now hung from the ceiling suggested otherwise. Despite the sea of people in various styles of gi, I easily found Sensei Rogers and the handful of others from our school that decided to enter. He had been talking to a short, old man with almost no hair left on his head, but a long, white beard hanging from his chin when I approached. The old man stared intently at me, and I reflexively bowed, stepping back again.

The old man grinned. “Your pupil shows respect even to strangers,” he said simply, nodding toward me. Sensei Rogers glanced back at me and smiled proudly.

“She understands the value of respecting others, including her enemies. Isn’t that right Robin?”

I nodded. “Yes sir, Sensei,” I answered respectfully. The old man approached me. He stared sternly into my eyes for a moment, then broke into a warm laugh.

“Relax, child. Tonight, I am merely an observer.”

Sensei Rogers smiled proudly as he motioned for me to step closer. “Robin, this is my dear friend Jin Li. He is one of the world’s foremost Southern Mantis stylists. Jin Li, this is Robin Smith, my fiancé’s daughter, and one of my favorite students.”

“You have a good heart, Robin,” he responded kindly. “Your chi flows freely and unburdened. It is a rare thing in one so young.”

My what does what now?

Ash rested a hand gently on my shoulder. “She’s no ordinary young woman. She’s suffered so much, but come through it for the better.”

I just had to ask. “Sir, may I ask what brings you to the tournament here?”

Again he smiled cheerfully. “Of course, child. I’m here because Ash is an old friend of my family’s. It was my brother who originally instructed him, before he went on to study and instruct Kenpo. It was my brother’s tradition, each year, to visit Ash and observe the proceedings of the Mixed Martial Arts tournament, but since his passing, I took up his tradition instead. It’s my way of honoring his legacy, and his fine student.”

I couldn’t help smiling at that. I felt a little misty-eyed, but before I could really dwell on it, a tall woman with bobbed brown hair wearing a white headset approached us. She glanced down at her clipboard, then at me. “Can you tell me where I can find Robin Smith?” she asked.

I nodded. “You found her, ma’am,” I answered respectfully.

“Oh!” she smiled brightly. “You’re up for the Orange exhibition.”

“The … What?” I turned to look at Sensei. He smiled.

“You checked the box to be part of the Orange Belt exhibition. It’s basically a demonstration of the kata you have learned as part of your training.”

“But I didn’t-” I started to say, but paused. Oh, yes I did. I thought that was how I signed up for competing against other orange belt-holders before I realized what the "mixed" in "Mixed Martial Arts" meant! My cheeks burned. There was no turning back now though. I sheepishly followed the woman, who led me to where I would wait for my name to be called.

After a few minutes, the announcer’s voice came over the PA system.

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Connecticut Mixed Martial Arts tournament, featuring the finest martial artists from around New England!”

I started to tune it out. I felt so nervous. There were just so many people here, and all eyes would be on me. Oh God. I shut my eyes and inhaled deeply, exhaling slowly to try and calm myself. I suddenly yelped as someone placed a hand on my shoulder. I looked around quickly to find the source. Josh smiled down at me.

“Relax Robin. This is just like training at the dojo.” Somehow, that didn’t help.

“Yeah, but at the dojo I don’t have everyone staring at me. What if I mess up?”

He laughed. I poked him in the ribs, causing him to grunt. “Ow! I guess I deserved that,” he grinned. “I wasn’t laughing at you though. I just found it kind of odd that the girl who can ride in a parade and stand up in front of the whole school as a homecoming princess, never mind playing basketball, feels nervous about something she’s been practicing quite possibly more often than I do since August.”

He had a point. He had a VERY good point. I grinned and wrapped him in a hug. He seemed surprised by it, but smiled, awkwardly returning the gesture. “Thanks Josh. I so needed that.”

He smiled. “No problem. That’s what friends are for.”

As if on cue, the announcer began again. “And now, representing Kenpo Karate style, fifteen year old Robin Smith will demonstrate Orange Belt kata.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat, and after a moment to gather my courage, I confidently stepped forward to the center of the mat. As I bowed to the audience, the entire section containing my supporters - friends, girl scouts, and others, cheered a thundrous "GO SPIRIT!". I turned and bowed to Sensei Rogers.

I fell into a basic stance and waited for my cues. Sensei Rogers crisply and clearly barked which kata I was to perform, and I suddenly felt my body relax completely. I felt almost like jelly as I shifted between each movement and stance. Before I knew it, he had called out the last strike, and when I stood and bowed, the crowd exploded into cheers.

I felt my cheeks burn as I raced off the mat. Jin Li, still grinning, slowly approached. “That was most impressive. Tell me, how did you feel out there though?”

I turned back to watch the next division belt exhibitionist step into position, smiling thoughtfully as I answered. “At first I was terrified, but then, when Sensei Rogers called the first kata, it was like I just… relaxed. I’ve been practicing my kata daily every chance I get, so when the time came it just felt natural.”

“Like a reflex,” he answered in a rhetorical tone, and nodded.

“Yes, exactly. Kind of like when I accidentally threw Jason on his butt,” I added sheepishly. “I felt so bad about that. But he did grab me first. I don’t even remember throwing him, but I think I at least let him down gently.”

“Sometimes, there is no time to think. You must allow yourself to react first, think later. But you take responsibility for your actions. My brother would have been proud.”

We watched the rest of the exhibitions together, first Jin Li and me, then collectively as a dojo, while the other schools performed their exhibitions, then came time for the tournament itself.

Of course, I didn’t win. I never stood a chance, but I managed to get into the ranking at least. In the end though, Josh made it all the way to the semi-finals, scoring a rather sweet trophy, if I do say so myself.

Every bone and muscle in my body ached by the time I got home. Mom had to help me into the house. I didn’t actually hurt myself or anything. I was just so exhausted from the whole event. Not surprisingly, Kelly and Margie were cuddling on the sofa again. They both giggled as I padded inside, easing myself into the nearest chair.

“How did it go?” Margie asked as she watched me sit. I groaned.

Kelly laughed. “Poor thing. You look exhausted.”

Again, I groaned. This time though, I cracked a smile. “It was awesome. I had so much fun. Josh even made it to the semi-finals! In the end he only lost by one point.”

“Wow, that’s great!” Margie responded cheerfully. “I’m so glad you had fun. Oh before I forget, the photo shoot’s been moved to Thursday, but this also means I have more time to set up at Touch of Style. The whole ‘Aria Blade’ thing’s going to be huge for business once word gets out,” she giggled. “I’m thinking about putting out some comic books signed by you girls as your alter-egos.”

“That’s a great idea!” I responded warmly. “Um, could … someone help me up again? I think I’m going to go take a nice hot bath before bed.”

Kelly stood, taking my hands and hoisting me right up into a hug. I rested my head against her shoulder for a moment, breathing a long, contented sigh. “Thanks sis,” I teased, giving her a soft, chaste kiss on her cheek. As she returned to Margie, I hobbled upstairs.

I had another basketball game tomorrow, though I was sure I’d feel better by then, and with the photo shoot moved to Thursday instead of Wednesday I’d have more time to relax and hang out with the girls before the game. I’d have to get to my e-mail at some point soon, too, but resolved to put it off until after my bath.

At least things were finally starting to feel like some semblance of normal again, though with Thanksgiving just around the corner, I wondered if they’d stay that way.

~* You Can't Choose Family *~ “How DARE you!” he began, but a female voice interrupted him. Aunt Jane? “How dare she? Sir, how dare YOU address my daughter in such a tone!” “And who are y-” he started, as he whirled around to face her, but his jaw fell open. “M-Melissa Jane Evans?!” She smirked. “I see my reputation precedes me, unlike yours.” She scowled, pointing at the door. “Get out of here, before I throw you out.”

---

I couldn’t help laughing under my breath. I’d been sitting quietly in the journalism department, enjoying my last ten minutes of lunch. My “Spirit’s Enlightenment” e-mail had been set up through one of those free web-mail things to completely disconnect it from my regular contact information, and even the name on the account simply read ‘Spirit Speaks’.

Elaine shifted in her seat and glanced at me. Her hair had really grown since June, now well-past her shoulders, though she wore it in a high ponytail today that bobbed when she shifted. “What?” she asked with a quiet giggle in her voice. Laughter is contagious!

“Dear Spirit,” I read aloud, “I’m not sure if you can help me. I have this huge crush on a girl, but there’s a problem. She has a rock-star girlfriend who’d kick the crap out of me if I told her how I felt. What should I do? Sincerely, Lost in Love.”

Elaine frowned. “Robin, that’s so not funny.”

I grinned, scrolling the page down a bit to reveal the camera phone-snapped picture of Nicole beaming like an idiot at our usual lunch table. I tilted the monitor for Elaine to see. She cracked a smile and started giggling. She rolled her eyes as I read the last line.

“’P.S., sorry for goofing on you — Ally dared me. See you at your game tonight!’ She is such a goofball. Some of these are really good though, like this one,” I read the next e-mail aloud, about an anonymous girl having self esteem issues with her weight. As I reached the end I leaned on my hand, planting my elbow in the arm of the chair. I stared at the monitor, not even realizing Elaine had been staring at me the whole time.

“Well?” she asked.

“I’m not sure,” I offered. “I thought this would just be like relationship advice, or dealing with a bully. This girl sounds like she has a serious problem. She needs to seek professional help.”

“So why don’t you write that in the column?” she asked simply.

“I don’t want to make her feel worse about herself. It’s one thing to publish a letter people can later say ‘Oh cool, you were picked!’, but when it’s something like this I don’t want her to get picked on if people find out it’s her, y’know? I think I’m going to break my rule and respond to this one personally.”

Elaine smiled broadly as she shifted in her chair, returning to her typing. She added a moment later, as the sounds of twin keyboards clattering filled the room, “I knew we made the right choice in picking you for this.”

Just as I hit ‘Send’, the bell sounded. “Looks like I’ll have to finish this later. Are you coming to our game tonight? Free pizza afterwards,” I tried to entice her. At first she shook her head. She paused, biting her lip.

“Actually … Yeah, that sounds like fun.” Her smile broadened, and out of nowhere, she stood, catching me in a hug as I passed by. Elaine never hugged me, so I felt a little surprised by the sudden gesture, but turned back to give her a proper hug in return.

“Are you okay?” I asked. She nodded quickly. I stared at her a moment and she nodded again.

“Really, I’m okay!” she insisted. I still thought she looked like she might be on the verge of tears, but she smiled, shooing me out. I wasn’t going to just let this go, but I wasn’t going to push too hard, either. Elaine was the only girl I knew who could rival Kathy for mousiness, so I had to handle things carefully.

~oOo~

“I’m home!” I called out as I stepped through the door. Nicole wrapped an arm around my waist as soon as she stepped inside. The house was dark, not a sound throughout, so I turned, smiling, to steal a kiss.

“Ally’s?” she said before I could part my lips after. I giggled.

“Ally’s — I just need a second to get a change of clothes for after the game. Hey, how’s Trent?” I asked as I took Nicole’s hand, practically leading her upstairs. “He was in the darkroom again so I didn’t dare disturb him.”

She stifled a giggle. “Better. I can’t believe how well Laura’s mom took the news. I guess she’s just happy Laura’s not …” she trailed off.

“Like us?” I offered. She nodded.

“Yeah. Not that there’s anything WRONG with us,” she quickly added.

“I know that, and you know that. That’s all that matters,” I answered, turning back to pull her into a hug. She smiled a little at that, resting her head on my shoulder. I melted, squeezing her close.

“Nikki, what is it?”

She shut her eyes and sighed. “One of my uncles won’t be coming. Somebody let it slip that I’m dating a girl, and he pretty much went ballistic.”

My heart sank. I kissed her forehead, squeezing her close. “Nikki, I’m so, so sorry.”

She nodded. A few stray tears broke loose, racing down her cheeks. “It’s not fair. He was my favorite uncle. He always seemed so open-minded and caring, but now…” she shook her head, inhaling sharply. “Never mind. I don’t wanna think about him right now.”

“Nikki, if … if my not being there will make things easier-”

“No!” she shouted, glaring at me. “Robin, I love you. You are THE best thing that’s ever happened to me! If that means one stubborn closed-minded jack-ass wants to ruin our family dinner when he hasn’t even seen how much happier I am, or what an amazing person you are, then that’s HIS loss!” She practically clung to me, burying her face in my shoulder.

After she planted a light kiss on my cheek, she whispered, “Don’t you dare ever think for even one second that I would choose closed-minded jerks over you. Not for one second.”

“I didn’t mean it like that though,” I tried to explain. “They’re your family, adopted or not. I don’t even have that.”

“Yes you do,” she answered softly. Not sure what she meant by that, I gave her a puzzled stare. “You have the Joneses, the Bakers, the Rogerses, and come this Thanksgiving, the Piniccis. Anybody says otherwise,” she shifted her voice into an atrocious stereotypical Italian gangster thing, “Hey, forget about it!” Her impish grin caused me to laugh, which in turn caused her to crack a giggle. She sighed happily.

“Robin, I love you. You’re my girlfriend, but you’re my best friend too. You can’t choose family, but you can choose your friends. Now come on, let’s find you something cute to wear,” she insisted as she gently squeezed my hand, drawing me into my walk-in closet. “You have to look good after you guys win tonight!” she teased.

~oOo~

Win we did, and though Elaine did come to the game, she left again before I could ask if she wanted to ride with one of us, or at least give her directions. Something was going on with that girl, and increasingly, I began to wonder if perhaps it was something I had said at some point. Twice now I’d offered for her to join us for pizza. The first time she flatly refused, and the second, she stood me up, so to speak.

I thought about it as I sat squeezed into a booth directly between Nicole and Brittany, with Allison and Maria further out. Chelsea, along with our favorite photographer Kathy, sat on the outside edges of our wrap-around booth. Two large pizzas, one meatlovers’, one veggie supreme rested before us with gaping holes already torn free by our ravenous teen-aged maws.

I suddenly felt Brittany’s hand on my shoulder. “Robin, what’s up? You look like you ate an uncooked mushroom.”

I made a sour face at the thought, causing Nicole to giggle. “It’s nothing,” I offered softly. She shook her head.

“It is not nothing,” she responded as she poked me in the ribs. “If you can’t tell your co-captain, then who can you tell?”

I shifted my gaze from one face to another. Every single girl had stopped eating, each of them watching me with varying levels of concern in each of their faces. Finally I sighed.

“I’m worried about someone. More specifically I think I’ve done something to hurt someone, but I have no idea what it is because she won’t open up to me.”

Nicole nuzzled closer and squeezed my hand. “Elaine, right?”

I nodded. Kathy tilted her head slightly to the side to stare at me. “Elaine, from yearbook staff Elaine?”

“Yeah. She was supposed to go out for pizza with us tonight, but she left before I could tell her where we were even going. It’s not the first time either.”

Kathy nodded solemnly. “That’s just how she is. I can’t believe you didn’t know.”

“Know what?” I asked, glancing back at her.

“Elaine never eats out. I’m honestly starting to worry about her because she hardly ever eats at school either.”

“Now it makes sense,” I mumbled, planting my palm firmly against my forehead. “I’ll talk to her at school tomorrow.” The e-mail must have been from her. That was why she reacted the way she did.

“Uh, what makes sense?” Brittany asked, but I shook my head.

“Oh, I just meant it makes sense that she changed her mind about eating out. I thought maybe she just didn’t like me or something,” I giggled a little trying to cover up my lie. I trusted these girls, but I didn’t want to betray Elaine’s trust either. Kathy rolled her eyes.

“Oh, please! Robin, she loves you,” she paused, adding at Nicole’s glare, “platonically speaking. She thinks you’re a good person.”

~oOo~

The next afternoon Touch of Style was a hub of activity. I had tried to find Elaine at school the next day, but she apparently stayed home sick. I decided I’d try the e-mail she used to contact Spirit Speaks after the photo shoot. Like the other girls, I had my super hero alter-ego tucked safely away in a duffle bag. Quite a few people who came to get their autographed copies of the latest issue of Shadowcraft: Aria Blade seemed to be staying to do some light shopping.

I smiled when I saw a familiar young girl and what I presumed to be her mother browsing the winter fashions, but as Robin I couldn’t have approached her. Not yet, anyway. Instead I walked with the other girls back to the back where a makeshift photo studio had been set up. It’s amazing what one can do with a few slats of timber and some sheets.

Margie had been chatting with a tall, slender man with a neatly trimmed goatee, an expensive-looking and professional camera hanging from a strap around his neck. She smiled when she saw us approach, causing the apparent photographer to turn and face us as well.

“Ah, you must be my models?” he mused dryly. “Well, hurry up and get into costume while we finish setting up. Bernice is in Ms. Evans’ office waiting to handle your make-up.”

It seemed like nothing we did pleased this guy. If we so much as stepped wrong he started yelling at us. At one point I stopped to wave at the little girl we had visited in the hospital. That was apparently a sin as grave as if I had murdered someone.

“Enough! I cannot work with these amateurs any longer!” he shouted. Margie scowled.

“Just who the hell do you think you are anyway? I hired you because your brother recommended you, not because you have some recognizable name!”

“How DARE you!” he began, but a female voice interrupted him. Aunt Jane?

“How dare she? Sir, how dare YOU address my daughter in such a tone!”

“And who are y-” he started, as he whirled around to face her, but his jaw fell open. “M-Melissa Jane Evans?!”

She smirked. “I see my reputation precedes me, unlike yours.” She scowled, pointing at the door. “Get out of here, before I throw you out.”

“But-”

“OUT!” she shouted. “And if you utter so much as a SYLLABLE I’ll see to it that you never work a wedding again. You’ll be running the photo machine at the local drug store if you’re lucky!”

She was on fire. He gulped, quietly slinking out of the store. Thunderous applause from shoppers who had seen the spectacle followed.

Margie giggled as I ran up to Jane, no mean feat in those boots. She caught me in a tight hug and smiled. “Men like him think that because they can point a camera, they’re God’s gift to fashion. You simply have to know how to put them in their place. Are you alright dear?”

I nodded quickly. “Great, now that you’re here,” I answered cheerfully.

“Mother, what are you doing here?” Margie asked.

She laughed light-heartedly as she and Margie exchanged a hug. “My lease on my old condo expired. I had already thrown out my bigot ex-roommate, and with nothing left to tie me to London, I decided to come for a visit.” She paused, grinning right at me, “Besides, I understand there’s to be a wedding.”

I wrapped an arm around Nicole, dressed as Raven Wing, as she stepped up beside me. “Aunt Jane, I don’t remember if I introduced you last time you were here, so this is my girlfriend Nikki. Nikki, Jen, Ally?” I glanced back, motioning for the others to step closer too. “This is Margie’s Mom, Jane.”

“Girlfriend?” Jane echoed, eyeing Nicole, who smiled nervously as she offered her hand. “You take care of Robin young lady,” she winked, causing Nicole to giggle.

“Yes ma’am.”

“Oh, before I forget, there’s one other person I wanted you all to meet. You see, I met the nicest young lady at the airport, an Irish girl if I’m not mistaken. We ended up being seated together in first class, and it was such a long flight,” she went on to explain the series of coincidences that followed. This ‘young lady’ was on her way to Alpine Springs as well, though Jane didn’t want to ‘spoil’ the surprise.

“She should be here just any minute now. She said she wanted to stop by someone’s house and say hello first,” she added. “Oh, and if you’re still in need of a REAL photographer, I still have a few contacts who owe me favors. I can have one of them out here within the hour.”

“Oh, I don’t want to impose, Mother,” Margie began, but Jane pressed a finger to her daughter’s lips and grinned.

“Oh, shush. You’re not imposing in the least dear!” she replied warmly and winked. “I promised when I left last, that I would make things up to you and Robin, and I shall do precisely that.”

Before my sister could argue the point further, Jane had already whipped out a sleek, expensive-looking phone. As she stepped away to make her calls I turned back to the others.

“So Nikki,” Jennifer began, “What was that ‘big surprise’ you had for Robin?”

Nicole cackled. “Y’know with that jerk blowing his stack I completely forgot about it.” She turned back to me and grinned broadly. “Y’know how the other night you said I could put you in a corset some time?”

Uh oh. “Yeeeeah?”

“And I said there would be pictures.” She giggled. “I even brought a really sexy black gown to …” she trailed off. She, Jennifer and Allison all stood with their jaws hanging agape, staring at someone behind us. I turned about, coming face to face with Shadow, of Heedless Despair, dressed in-character from head to toe. A small crowd of onlookers approached, some snapping pictures of us together, but none dared step too close.

“Hi there,” she hissed playfully.

“S-Shadow?!”

“The one and only, Aria Blade,” she answered, placing her hands on my shoulders. She stared deeply into my eyes for a moment then smiled, turning her attention to ‘Raven Wing’. “I trust you’ve taken care of my ‘baby’?”

Nicole, without missing a beat, nodded with a smug smile. “She still has the voice of an angel too. I’ll let you see her if you behave yourself,” she chided. Raven Wing would’ve been proud.

Shadow laughed. “Mmm, you haven’t changed a bit. That’s good. Come, we have much to discuss.” She spun about, causing a few in the crowd to jump. She grinned a fangy grin. “Don’t worry. I’m only borrowing your little heroes for awhile. I’ll bring them back shortly.”

She started to turn away, but paused when the girl from the hospital ran forward, grabbing her hand. “Ms. Fang? W-wait!”

Shadow glanced down at the girl. Her gaze softened and she smiled more genuinely. “What is it?”

“W-would you sign this please?” She held up one of our autographed comic books, pointing to an empty section. Another adult stepped forward, offering her a pen. She grinned as she uncapped it, applying her signature in a delicate, fluid pass. She tossed the pen back to its owner, kneeling to turn the comic about for the girl.

The girl wrapped her arms around Shadow’s neck, squealing with joy. Shadow, surprised by the sudden gesture lightly patted the girl’s back. As she stood, she offered the book to the girl, who happily squeezed it close to her. “Thank you so much!”

I had to giggle as I led the girls and the bassist back to Margie’s office. As soon as the door closed, Shadow grinned. “Did’ja miss me?”

Nicole laughed. “You bet. But what the heck are you doing here?”

She slowly paced across the small office, leaning on the edge of Margie’s desk. “I needed a break. After six straight months of one tour after another I couldn’t take it anymore.”

Jennifer crooked her head slightly. “I can see why you’d want a break. Why come here, though?”

“Because I promised I would,” she answered simply, nodding toward Nicole. Nicole blinked a few times as if trying to parse what she’d just heard. Shadow laughed. “You don’t remember do you? Eh, doesn’t matter. I just needed to get away. Kristen’s sleezeball boyfriend was just the straw that broke the camel’s back I guess.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” I offered. “I mean, I know we’re just kids, but-”

She held up her hand. “Hold on there. Let me just stop you there. You’re not ‘just kids’.” She grinned. “You DO realize I’m only twenty-one right? Anyway, you’re a lot more mature than I was when I was sixteen.” She buried her hands under her arms as though she were hugging herself. She sighed. “And I really would prefer not to talk about it right now. Shite happens. The band will get through it.”

I frowned. I didn’t like the way she said ‘the band will get through it’ as though she weren’t part of them. Still, I felt compelled and stepped closer. I hesitantly wrapped an arm around her waist from the side, but to my surprise she leaned over to rest her head on my shoulder.

“Thanks. I needed that. So what’s up with the costumes? Halloween was last month wasn’t it?”

Allison grinned. “We're doing a photo shoot for the Shadowcraft comic. You just missed Margie’s mom throwing a persnickety photographer out on his butt. It was epic.”

“Oh jeeze.” She laughed as she shook her head. She fiddled with a small, onyx-set silver ring on one finger as she glanced up again. “I woulda paid to see that. I had to get into costume and mentally adjust to ‘being’ Shadow. I wanted to surprise you guys.”

Jennifer piped in, “So how long can you stay?”

“A few days at least, probably more. I’ve been living on a tour bus or a jet for so long I needed to find some place quiet to think.” She paused, adding disheartened, “Kris and I were supposed to share an apartment until she started dating that creep. I really thought we had…” she trailed off, clearing her throat, “a deal.”

I had no idea which one Kristen was, and before I could ask, someone knocked. Margie’s voice followed. “Everyone decent in there?” I laughed as I called back for her to come in. She poked her head inside and smiled. Shadow waved half-heartedly.

“Sorry to steal your models. I just wanted to talk somewhere where I wouldn’t have to ‘be’ Shadow. You’ve quite a circus out there lady,” she added with a smile that reminded me all too much of Nicole’s impish grin.

“Oh, that’s fine. I’m Margie by the way,” she answered warmly.

Shadow smiled. “Shadowfang is my stage name, but you guys can call me Moira.”

“Did Jane find another photographer?” I asked.

“Sure did. Turns out she’s even right here in Alpine Springs. She was hired to do someone’s senior pictures, but no one warned her that her subject came down with a nasty case of the mumps.”

“Ouch,” Allison and I answered in unison, glanced at each other, and giggled. Moira cracked a smile at the “twin talk” moment.

“Hey, Shadow,” Nicole began with that trademark impish grin of hers. I could tell just by the tone that she was up to something. “We’re all in costume. You’re in costume. Why don’t you stay and join in the fun?”

“I dunno,” she started to protest, but Jennifer cut her off.

“Oh come on! You sound like you could use a little fun. Plus if you stick around you’ll get to see Robin all gothed up.”

Moira turned to stare at me. I held up my hands. “I had nothing to do with it this time. Nicole wants a poster-sized picture of me in one of her Victorian dresses and a corset. I did sort of volunteer for it, but I wasn’t expecting it so soon,” I added. She laughed.

“Oh, why not? Like you said, Volcaness,” she paused, letting the significance of her knowing Jennifer’s heroine alter-ego’s name sink in, “It could be fun.”

As we stepped out, we found Maria in her Psychic Strike costume, pandering to the crowd and having a lot of fun in the process. She seemed to be playing some sort of ‘pick-a-card’ game with willing patrons, and doing a good job of it too. She turned around to greet us, presumably at the sound of our collective footfalls, but when she saw Moira, her jaw dropped.

“Ohmygod, that’s… That’s…”

Moira grinned as she approached, sticking out her hand. “Shadowfang. You must be Psychic Strike.” She winked. Maria, recovering from the initial shock took her mummy-wrap-gloved hand and shook it.

“Aria Blade told me you played a little trick on her during Dia De Los Muertos,” she giggled. Moira, now fully in her Shadowfang persona again, laughed grimly.

“Ah, someone who understands the significance of the day; I like you already. But yes, I suppose my macabre sense of humor did get the better of me that day.”

The playful banter continued for awhile, but eventually our replacement photographer arrived. I don’t think any of us expected someone so young-looking, to have been recommended by a contact of Jane’s. She wore her beautiful red hair in a tight French braid, a pair of designer sunglasses perched perfectly atop her head when she stepped inside.

She had a large camera bag slung over one shoulder and an even larger duffle bag over the other, which despite her plump physique and 5’7” frame, seemed to dwarf her. Moira approached the woman, clearing her throat. “Do you need a hand with that? I’m used to lugging heavy equipment around.”

“Oh, thank you,” the woman began as she turned to face her would-be assistant. She nearly stumbled backwards. “Oh! Y-you’re-” she stammered. Her cheeks turned nearly as red as her hair. Moira giggled under her breath, an uncharacteristically girly sound, as she took the duffle bag.

“Shadowfang, yes,” she whispered grimly, trying to regain her composure and return to character.

“I’m sorry. It’s just nobody warned me a-a rock star would be here. This is such an honor,” she babbled. A moment of silence passed between them. It felt like a scene out of a romantic comedy unfolded before us. Our photographer smiled shyly as she slowly looked up, and Moira as Shadow stood there silently, holding her duffle bag aloft like it weighed nothing.

“I-I’d better get set up,” she finally stammered. Shadow nodded, following along behind her. I giggled when she passed, causing her to glare at me.

“What?”

“Nothing,” I answered innocently. Nicole started giggling too. Moira rolled her eyes, turning away to strike up a conversation with the photographer.

“I’m Regina by the way,” the redhead offered humbly. “This was just supposed to be an internship job, but the boss liked my work so much that they hired me part-time to help me pay for college.”

“I never went,” Moira offered sheepishly. “Sometimes I regret it. I should go back though, in case…” she paused, biting her lip.

“In case the bottom falls out?” Regina finished her sentence for her. She nodded.

“Yep. I don’t like to think about it. I like to think Heedless Despair will live forever.”

“Even so, it’s good to have something to fall back on. My dad wanted to be a musician, but he still got a teaching degree. Now he teaches music and he couldn’t be happier,” Regina answered, causing Moira to crack a smile.

The photo shoot with our new photographer went incredibly smoothly. When Nicole asked to buy an extra photo of me, Regina actually offered to do the print at no extra charge. Before we knew it, we were finished and back in our street clothes again. We didn’t know what would happen with Moira, still dressed in her Shadowfang costume, though. She left to walk Regina out to her car.

“That was so cool,” Jennifer giggled. Maria nodded.

“Very! My friend Gabriella’s going to die when she sees those pictures. Hey, I’ll see you guys later, yeah? Jason’s picking me up soon.” She waved as she walked away, pausing long enough to grin at Moira, who rolled her eyes, swatting at the Latina playfully as she grinned back.

“Hey guys, I just wanted to say thanks for including me in all this. It was a lotta fun.” She paused. Nicole beamed.

“But?”

She laughed. “Oh, bah. But nothing. It was fun. Really. Regina invited me out for coffee though. I’m gonna find some place quiet to change then head back to New Haven with her.” She turned to me with an odd sort of half-smile. It was the sort of nervous, almost sisterly smile I’d only seen Kelly use once or twice when she had something important to ask me. “Can I ask a big favor from you?”

“Um, sure. What is it?”

“If someone from Heedless Despair happens to call, unlikely as it may be, would you tell them you haven’t seen me? I’m shutting my phone off just for tonight.”

“Sure, I guess,” I answered, confused. She smiled so brightly that even her overdone, macabre stage makeup couldn’t distill it.

“Thank you. I need this so much.”

She turned and raced back out again, leaving us staring at each other. Finally Allison spoke up. “So what do you think that was about?”

Jennifer rolled her shoulders as we started for the door. “Hard to say. Something obviously happened with her and Kristen’s boyfriend. If I’m not mistaken that’s Demona Rose, judging by how she was pawing at the guy with them last time they were here.” Jennifer could be so incredibly zen sometimes.

“So she and Rose were supposed to be roomies, and then something happened between her and the boyfriend?” I echoed.

Nicole frowned. “There’s more to it than that. The way she talked about how she thought they had, and then just stopped? I think she wanted more than friendship.”

We all turned to stare at her. She shrugged. “What? You saw how fast she left with Regina. You … do know she’s into girls right?” She suddenly slapped her hand over her mouth. “Ohmygawd. I never told you guys! Jeeze, I’m sorry. It was one of the things we talked about in private.”

Jennifer giggled. “Hey, we forgive you. You said she swore you to secrecy after all. C’mon, we can talk about it on the way to Ally’s. I’ve still got a ton of homework to finish.”

~* But You Can Choose... *~ Regina leaned closer, nudging her shoulder. “Hey, that’s her loss, remember? I mean, I never thought about the possibility of dating another woman until you told me you thought that was a date, but I have to admit I had a lot of fun, especially after the third glass of wine.” Allison giggled. “I thought it was coffee?” Moira laughed quietly. “Coffee was a few hours before the wine, dear. Like I said, I crashed on her couch, mostly because I was too drunk to find my way to the door.” She paused, giving us a serious stare. “Word of advice, girls, stay away from alcohol. The hangover is not worth it. Friday morning with Regina and the porcelain goddess as my witness I swore off alcohol for life. It’s caused me nothing but pain.”

---

Despite the chill in the air and the fresh blanket of snow that had fallen early Saturday morning, the four of us sat together by a roaring fire in Nicole’s parents’ den. Ordinarily when we hung out together it had been at Allison’s, but today was special.

“Do you think she’ll like it?” Jennifer giggled as she held up the little gothed-up Barbie. I had to admit, she did some amazing work. The doll, though it began life as a standard off-the-assembly-line creation now had jet black hair and a near-white skin tone.

More impressive though, her intricately painted makeup and clothing were a perfect miniaturization of our favorite bass player Moira, AKA Shadowfang, of Heedless Despair.

Nicole stared at the doll with fascination; she nodded. “Jen, that’s freakin’ amazing!”

Allison nodded. “It’s cute! And it looks just like her! I bet she’ll love it.”

“Thanks,” she responded as she carefully tucked it away in its original pink box again. Somehow, the combination of Barbie pink container and ultra-goth made me giggle. She added, “I was going to try and make little instruments for them, but that’s just beyond my ability.”

“Them?” I asked with a grin. She giggled.

“Them! This one’s just a prototype, but it turned out so well that when Nikki called and said Moira was going to meet us here, I decided to give the first one to her. Now that I know what I’m doing it’ll be easy!”

Nicole, sprawled out on the overstuffed ivory loveseat next to me, and closest to the fireplace, reached into the bag of mini-marshmallows that lay nestled between us.

I had an arm contentedly wrapped around her waist, and her head, when she wasn’t flinging marshmallows into the air and catching them, rested on my shoulder. She looked up at me and smiled.

“This is nice.”

Allison rolled her eyes. “If you guys want to be alone Jen and I can always come back later.”

Nicole, hovering a marshmallow over her lips, started laughing, instead plinking Allison squarely in the forehead with it. “Hush you,” she chided playfully. “Moira said she’d be here around nine.”

“Did she say how her coffee date with the photographer went?” I asked, suddenly curious. None of us had heard one word from her since Thursday, just that she wanted to talk and hang out this morning. Nicole shrugged.

“I didn’t really ask.” She had a twinge in her tone that suggested she knew something we didn’t, but when I turned to look at her, she smiled and shook her head. She leaned up to kiss my cheek.

“That’s all I can say. Really, if this was anyone else, and anything else, I’d be spilling the whole thing to you guys, but Moira and I … We’re a lot alike.” She shifted her gaze toward Jennifer and Allison, sitting on the floor with their backs to the other loveseat. “A lot alike.”

“It’s okay Nikki. They’re your friends, and I trust them,” Moira’s voice broke the silence that threatened to descend upon us, save for the crackling of the roaring fire.

I looked up to see not the black-haired beauty we’d come to know as Shadow, but an average woman with shoulder-length sandy blonde hair pulled back with a simple green ribbon. Freckles lightly dotted her cheeks.

In her hands she balanced four paper cups from the local coffeehouse. A moment later Regina stepped in behind her, carrying two more cups. Moira smiled as she approached.

“I threatened Nikki under pain of torture to divulge your favorite coffees. Hazelnut for you Jen, French Vanilla for you Ally, and,” she elongated her ‘and’ as she turned to us, offering the other two cups. “Double-mocha for Robin. Here ya go Nikki.”

“Oh, thank you!” I bubbled excitedly as I took the steaming liquid from her. She laughed a little, probably at my enthusiasm. I loved mocha cappuccino, but I rarely drank it because it made me hyper.

Jennifer and Allison moved aside, standing and taking seats in the nearby matched wingback chairs to let Moira and Regina have the loveseat. I couldn’t help noticing as they sat, that their hands brushed briefly, causing Moira to smile.

“Do you wanna tell ‘em? I mean, it’s your past,” Nicole began as she peeled back her coffee lid. She inhaled a deep breath, and from my vantage point next to her I could almost feel the chill running down her spine. I smiled and spontaneously kissed her cheek, causing her to giggle and cuddle closer.

Moira exhaled slowly. She glanced at Regina, who smiled in return, then glanced back at us. “Well as you know, I’ve been avoiding contact with Heedless Despair right now. Call it childish if ya want, but things are complicated right now.”

She paused, slowly sipping her coffee. Her gaze flickered to Regina as she continued, “Regina generously let me crash on her couch the last couple of nights while I unwound.”

I frowned. “Moira… What’s going on?”

She shook her head and chuckled wryly. “I didn’t want them to know where I was. I wasn’t ready to deal with the fallout yet because Kris is still sore about everything, and I knew she’d just take his side, and…” she paused, shaking her head. “No, never mind. I don’t want to drag you lot into my problems.”

Jennifer quickly shook her head. “No way. You’re our friend. If there’s anything we can do to help, then we’ll do it, even if it’s just offering a non-judgmental place to vent.”

She smiled faintly, finally slowly nodding. “Alright, if you’re sure. It all goes back to when I was sixteen. I was a poor kid from a poor family, but I thought I was gonna change the world.” She paused and laughed to herself.

“Anyway I never really felt all that comfortable around boys, but I tried to make it work. That shite ended when a guy I dated for all of two weeks…” she trailed off, clearing her throat.

Regina stretched her arm out to pull Moira into a hug as, in the flickering fire’s light, twin trails of tears glistened, rolling down her cheeks. She shook her head.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I swore off men after that. I swore off women too, don’t get me wrong. Wasn’t until I turned nineteen that I even thought about dating again.”

I set my coffee cup aside and rose, approaching the pair. She slowly looked up at me as if uncertain of what I was doing, but when I bent down to wrap her in a hug, she smiled faintly.

She gave me a soft, chaste kiss on my cheek before letting me go. As I moved to sit again, Nicole wrapped me in a tight hug. She’d sprouted her own fresh salty rivers now, and I pulled her closer in response. Nicole spoke unevenly.

“Like I said, we’re a lot alike.”

Moira smiled weakly. “Robin, when you told me about Nikki having a rough life, I knew what you really meant by it because I’d been there. Kris’ boyfriend was furious that I booked us for your party, but she managed to calm him.” She rolled her eyes. “I really thought she and I had something until he came along.”

Allison, who had been sitting quietly with her legs tucked up under her, broke her silence, but softly. “But … I still don’t understand what this has to do with you not wanting them to find you.”

Jennifer reached over to squeeze Allison’s hand, getting her attention. She turned her gaze to Moira, speaking as softly. “He did something didn’t he?”

Moira’s head snapped forward in a single, sharp nod. She pursed her lips together in a grimace that felt to me at least, equal parts anger and sadness. “He tried some macho line with me about how I could be replaced if I didn’t learn my place. I should have knocked him flat on his arse for it, but if I did, it would've just made it worse.”

She exhaled as she leaned forward, running her hands over her face, and up through her hair, letting the locks fall as they may. “I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had to get away from him, from THEM for awhile.” Regina finally spoke up.

“A lot of this came out over coffee. I could tell something was seriously bothering her. It’s a photographer thing really; you learn to watch people and, after awhile you pick up on their emotions, their mood. I sometimes even make a game of it.”

She paused, giving a wry smile. “Anyway, I knew something was bugging her, so I invited her out for coffee, my treat.”

Moira’s cheeks began to redden as she leaned back into the sofa again, a stark contrast to Regina's utterly laid-back expression. She slowly wrapped her arms around herself as she stared up at the ceiling.

“And I just needed to be with someone. I haven’t been on a date since I joined Heedless Despair. Well, there was the thing with Kris, but we were so drunk she apparently didn’t remember: or didn’t want to.” She practically spat the last part out.

Regina leaned closer, nudging her shoulder. “Hey, that’s her loss, remember? I mean, I never thought about the possibility of dating another woman until you told me you thought that was a date, but I have to admit I had a lot of fun, especially after the third glass of wine.”

Allison giggled. “I thought it was coffee?”

Moira laughed quietly. “Coffee was a few hours before the wine, dear. Like I said, I crashed on her couch, mostly because I was too drunk to find my way to the door.” She paused, giving us a serious stare.

“Word of advice, girls, stay away from alcohol. The hangover is not worth it. Friday morning with Regina and the porcelain goddess as my witness I swore off alcohol for life. It’s caused me nothing but pain.”

Jennifer smiled thoughtfully. “You know, I think I have something that might cheer you up.”

Moira tilted her head toward the half-Polynesian with a quirky, curious half-smile. “I doubt anything’s going to cheer me up right now, but you’re welcome to try.”

Jennifer chuckled to herself. As she stood she picked up her backpack, stepping closer and kneeling in front of the pair.

“I know you said you’re upset with the others right now, and this probably isn’t the best time to give you this because of that, so I’ll understand if you don’t like it after what you’ve been through,” she reasoned.

Moira rolled her eyes, her half-smile broadening just a little. “Well come on then, out with it. What is it?”

Jennifer gave a gentle tug at the zipper to her backpack, pulling out the doll she had customized, but she carefully held it so that the cardboard back faced the two women. Moira laughed. “A doll? You’re kidding right?”

Jennifer grinned, spinning it around so she could see her mini-duplicate through the plastic display. Moira’s jaw fell open. Her hands quivered as she slowly leaned forward to touch the plastic display.

It almost seemed like she expected it to turn to dust the moment she made contact. Nicole, grinning, gently squeezed my hand as we watched.

“Oh… Oh my God…”

Jennifer giggled as she extended it. “It’s yours, if you want it. It was supposed to be a prototype, but it turned out so well that with you coming into town like this, I decided to give it to you.”

Moira cautiously took the box. Like a wide-eyed child at Christmas, she delicately opened it, retrieving the mini-Shadowfang inside. “I… I don’t know what to say. No one’s ever given me anything like this.”

She leaned forward to practically envelop Jennifer in a tight hug, sobbing as she whispered, “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

I never really thought about it before that moment, but I could really empathize with her. She said she grew up poor, which probably meant her parents had little money for things like dolls, and now that she was a rich rock star she might’ve felt silly buying something like that for herself.

I had spent the first fifteen years of my life even admitting I was really a girl, and was too afraid to ask my sister if she had any old dolls. I felt moist tracks of tears rushing down my cheeks as I nuzzled closer to Nicole, watching the touching scene.

Moira hugged the little doll close to her for a moment before gently returning it to its box. “Did you do this yourself though? This is amazing. You should consider doing costume design professionally.”

Jennifer giggled as she nodded, standing to return to her seat. “Yeah. Working on our Shadowcraft costumes sort of gave me the idea.” She added as she relaxed with one leg beneath her, “I wanted to do several of the whole band eventually as sort of a pet project.”

“I’ll pay you for one of each of the others when you get them finished,” she answered almost immediately. “And before you say anything, yes I insist. Jennifer this is adorable. She looks just like me. Well, the stage me.”

Regina giggled. “The real you is just as adorable y’know,” she teased, causing Moira’s cheeks to shift into the red spectrum again.

Regina reached down to give Moira’s free hand a light squeeze and smiled. “I had a lot of fun the other night. I was kind of hoping we might do that again some time. You’re even welcome to crash on my couch again.”

Moira’s blush deepened. Nicole and I just grinned at each other, causing Moira to laugh. “What are you two grinning at?”

Allison practically cackled. “I think they’ve seen that look before, right guys?”

We just giggled and exchanged a cheek-nuzzle.

“Oh, hey, I need to get going again, but only for a little while. Jane asked me to meet her for lunch to discuss some things, and since Regina’s driving-” she began, Regina picking up where she left off.

“It’ll be kind of like a second date, since Jane said she wants to meet with Robin’s sister too.”

“What she said,” Moira added with a nervous smile. “Will you girls still be here later though?”

We all glanced at each other and Nicole grinned. “Robin has somewhere to be this afternoon, but if you want to get together again this evening and hang out I’m sure we can work something out.”

Moira turned to Regina, who immediately nodded, answering for her in a cheerful tone. “We’ll be here!”

We waited until we could no longer hear Moira’s boot heels clacking along before any of us spoke up, Allison asking the obvious. “So um, what do you think she’s meeting with Jane about?”

All eyes turned on me. I shook my head slowly. “Don’t look at me. I had a really, really long talk with Aunt Jane last night, mostly catching her up on everything that’s been happening lately with Andrea and Trent and …” I paused and giggled, “And apologized for forgetting that she already met Nikki.”

Nicole laughed as she gave my hand a squeeze. “You’re forgiven. You were under a lot of stress last week, and with that rude photographer on top of it.”

I nodded a little. “Yeah, and Elaine wasn’t at school again. I’m starting to worry about her.”

Jennifer smiled. “I knew you would, so I took the liberty of looking into it. Her mom said Elaine passed out, and when she came to they had a long talk. Her mom enrolled her in some kind of intensive counseling thing.”

I frowned as I looked up from my mostly empty coffee cup. “So she’s…”

She nodded. “Yeah. Anorexia nervosa. Pretty bad too, but the important thing is she’s getting help with it now. I always knew there was something off about her, but I never dreamed she could be anorexic.”

After a pause she glanced at me. “Apparently, someone sent an anonymous e-mail to her encouraging her not to be afraid to ask for help, that it could save her life and make her feel better physically and emotionally. Robin, you wouldn’t know anything about that would you?”

“What, me?” I asked innocently. Nicole gave my side a light, playful goose which caused me to squeal. “Hey!” I laughed. She smiled and pulled me into a tight hug.

“Just don’t let it overwhelm you, okay?” she added. “I love that you’re able to help people. It makes me wanna help people too, but I don’t want you to burn out either.”

Smiling, I nodded, kissing the tip of her nose. “I promise I won’t let it take over. Most of the time they just need someone to listen and reassure them, y’know? Mostly it’s just about pointing them in the right direction.”

~oOo~

For as long as I’d been on a hormone replacement regimen, I’d been having blood drawn weekly in order to ensure that my body was handling the sudden changes without adverse problems.

Now, some five months later, I had finally been told I no longer needed to have blood tests weekly. I understood their caution, as adolescent transition really isn’t that common, but I was glad to be rid of the weekly torture sessions nonetheless!

Nicole took me out for ice cream to celebrate, and afterwards we returned to Alpine Springs. We stopped by my house long enough to talk to Mom and tell her the good news and pick up Allison, heading back to Nicole’s by way of Jennifer’s house.

I had hoped Jane would’ve been there so I could ask her what she had met with Moira about for lunch.

It seemed I hadn’t missed my chance yet, as when we drove past the front gate and up the snow-free driveway at Morgan Manor as I’d playfully begun referring to it lately, her rental white Lexus sat parked in front, behind a small turquoise-colored Cavalier.

“That’s gotta be Regina’s car,” Nicole giggled. “It just looks like a college student car. You guys go on inside. I need to put my baby in the garage.”

Nicole grabbed my hand, and when I turned back she grinned, stealing a kiss. I giggled as I squeezed her hand before stepping out. Allison and Jennifer both grinned at me.

“Seriously, you guys are ADORABLE together,” Allison said, barely able to contain a giggle herself.

I had to laugh. I wrapped an arm around Jennifer and Allison’s waists as we approached the front door. “Thanks, I think.”

“You’re welcome,” she replied in a sing-song tone as Jennifer opened the door for us to step inside. We waited in the foyer for Nicole to join us, my hand almost magnetically gravitating to hers as we walked together into the den.

An extra chair had been added since this morning, where Jane now sat chatting with Moira, Regina, and Bob and Gina, though whatever it is they were discussing, they immediately stopped when we entered the room.

Jane smiled as she stood and approached us. “Ah, there you are,” she spoke with a lilt in her voice and smiled, wrapping me in a hug.

“Hi Aunt Jane,” I replied, returning her hug in-kind. “Is everything okay?”

“Fantastic, dear. Come, have a seat. Moira and I have something important to tell you.”

As we approached, the Morgans stood, Gina adding. “Here, Nikki, Robin, make yourselves comfortable here.”

“Thank you,” I replied warmly at the offered loveseat. As we sat, Moira rose and glanced back at Regina, who offered her a reassuring smile.

“Right! Well, as you guys know, Heedless Despair is officially off tour for now.”

Regina stifled a giggle. “You should see MTV. They’re going bonkers trying to find out what happened to Shadow.”

Moira smirked. “Let ‘em look. They can cool their heels for a few more days. Anyway, I told you about my plans for finding a place to live falling through, but Jane and I have been discussing something that would be mutually beneficial.” She paused, glancing at Jane, as did the rest of us.

“I’ll just come right out and say it. I’ve decided to move my design headquarters from London to New Haven, and,” she elongated the ‘and’, pausing for dramatic effect. “I’ve asked Moira if she’d like to be my roommate while she sorts everything out.”

Moira grinned as she nodded. “The thing is the only time the band ever needs me is either for recording gigs or when we’re on tour. I’m the youngest member of HD, and despite our stage presence, backstage things have been getting pretty frigid lately. I want to make sure I have something to fall back on if something does happen.”

“That makes sense,” I replied as I stood to hug her. “I’m glad we’ll be able to see a lot more of you too.”

She smiled at the hug and nodded. “Me too. It’s silly but in a way I feel closer to you guys than I do my own band lately. Lucia, AKA Solace, and I are pretty close, but she stays out of band drama entirely.” She paused and laughed. “She’s the smart one.”

As if on cue, Nicole’s cell phone rang, causing her to squeal and jump. She swatted me playfully at the giggle I let escape, as she retrieved the offending appliance. She frowned at the caller ID. “Looks like it’s a European number. Should I answer it?”

Moira’s expression darkened. She finally exhaled and nodded. “Yeah, go ahead. I’ve been dreading this moment though.”

“Hello? Who? Oh, hi Rose. You … He what? You’re kidding? You did?” She started laughing. “You go girl! Yeah, she’s right here. Do you want to tell her or should I? Okay hang on a sec,” she quickly held out the sleek little phone to Moira. The bassist hesitantly accepted it.

“Yes?” she spoke softly, turning to step out of the room. Nicole grinned as we all expectantly stared at her, but she shook her head.

“Well?” Jennifer asked. Nicole just grinned. I reached over to give her sides a playful goose, but she caught my hand, dragging it up and kissing my palm lightly.

“Kris fired her ex-boyfriend,” she spoke calmly, belying the news. She started giggling. “He started on some rant about how Shadow should be cut from their contract, and she hauled off and decked him!”

“Oh my God, are you serious?” Allison asked, echoing my own thoughts. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

She nodded. “I’m sure there’s more to the story than that, but the short version is, he’s got a broken nose, and he’s threatening to press charges, but without the kind of financial backing three — possibly four rock stars can put behind one of their members, the best he’ll come out of it with is a mutual restraining order.”

Regina frowned as she glanced toward the hall. “Well, it was fun while it lasted.”

Jane shook her head. “If my step-daughter has taught me anything, it’s that you can never judge a book by its cover. I have a feeling that Moira’s not simply going to change her mind because of this.”

She smiled faintly at that. “Your step-daughter?”

Jane nodded, motioning to me. “Although she calls me ‘Aunt’ out of respect to her real mother. It’s a long story.”

Jane paused long enough to give Regina a wry smile. “I had some … misguided beliefs about her before I actually met her for the first time. Likewise for Moira, I had a lot of misconceptions about musicians before we spent a cross-Atlantic flight together.”

Moira stepped back into the room. She moved around behind the loveseat where Regina sat and bent down to wrap her in a hug. “I could hear everything you guys were saying, you know,” she offered softly and smiled, planting a kiss on Regina’s cheek. The photographer blushed.

“I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that with things looking better for you, you probably would feel more comfortable returning to your old life. I’m just a photographer trying to muddle through everyday life the best way I can. You’re freaking Shadowfang.”

Moira laughed as she shook her head. “No, Shadowfang is the character I portray. I’m Moira Denise Cameron, just some twenty-something who caught a lucky break hooking up with three great musicians who had a crazy idea for a new band. Reg, I like you, and I want to see if there’s something more between us, or if there could be.”

Regina sat silently for several seconds. She seemed lost in thought, but finally she tilted her head to look Moira in the face.

“No one’s ever said that to me before. I’ve always been background noise. Are you sure that’s really what you want? I mean we only just met. Flirting is one thing, but…” she trailed off, suddenly seeming uneasy.

Before she could continue, Nicole spoke up. “I knew from the second I laid eyes on Robin that I wanted to be with her. I wanted to kiss her and hold her, and I wanted to be her best friend.”

Nicole smiled brightly. “You can’t explain love. It just happens, like lightning.”

Regina stared at us as I rested my head on Nicole’s shoulder, adding. “She’s right. I didn’t realize she felt the same way, but the moment I saw her, I felt something I’d never experienced before. I know we’re only teenagers, but I still love her.”

I could see a little trickle of a tear roll down Regina’s cheek as she looked back at Moira. Finally, she nodded, smiling. “Okay,” she whispered, leaning up to kiss Moira’s cheek lightly. “I can’t argue with that.”

Moira laughed, giving Regina a playful, if very light nuzzle. “Yeah, I know. Seeing those two together made me realize just how lonely I really was.”

Nicole and I looked at each other, giggling as we answered in unison, “Sorry?”

Both women laughed.

Thanksgiving was fast approaching, and we had another Girl Scout meeting coming up Sunday to discuss the big ski trip, but I happily put those thoughts out of my mind for now.

As Moira stepped around and sat beside Regina again, I could see a new warmth in both their faces. I could only hope things worked out for them as they had for us.

~* Robin's First Thanksgiving *~ “That’s not silly at all,” she answered, sitting on the sofa beside me. “I’m kind of jealous. Mom wanted to have more kids, but with the complications from both me and Bryce they decided two was plenty. I always wanted a little sister to coddle,” she giggled. “I just wanted to warn you that Uncle Charlie’s here,” she added in a low whisper. “Who’s Uncle Charlie?” I asked hesitantly. “The one who…” “Yeah, that one,” she sighed. “He’s not happy about it, but Aunt Susan finally talked some sense into him. Oh crap, here he comes now,” she cursed under her breath.

---

Our Girl Scout meeting actually made a lot of progress. Talk of taking our annual field trip at a ski resort generated quite a lot of excitement even among the younger girls, and though pretty much everyone giggled when Jennifer told them I’d never seen snow before this month, it was all in fun.

This trip wouldn’t just be for my benefit. Among our troop, only Jennifer, Allison, and Tracey had ever done any real skiing, and even then only Jennifer could ski or snowboard at anything approaching a professional level.

Later that afternoon, after putting Friday homework behind us, we crashed on the Jones’ sofa. I sat on the floor beside Nicole, who had her feet dangling daintily over the top of the sofa, sat upside-down with her head next to mine, stealing the occasional nuzzle while devouring a bag of jelly beans.

Allison had her guitar and some electronic device with an LCD screen and little green LED lights on it, and Jennifer, closest to me, stared disinterestedly at a book. It was one of those slow Sunday afternoons. Finally, Jennifer exhaled.

“So Robin, what did Angela want?” she glanced at me, setting her book aside.

“Mmm?” I glanced up at her and blinked. “Oh! Right, yeah, she asked if I could babysit Amanda again tomorrow night. She’s such a cute kid,” I laughed.

“Yeah, she is. I hope you and Nikki adopt someday. You’d make a great Mom,” she responded with a sly smile. Just then, Allison fingered a chord on her guitar and strummed. Jennifer grimaced at her. “Your ‘A’ chord needs some work, dear.”

Allison laughed, sticking her tongue out. “Hush you.” She grinned. “I think I’m going to have to restring it. These old ones just can’t hold a tune like they used to.” She carefully leaned over the side of the sofa to place it back in its case, turning back to us. “Um, guys, can I ask you a serious question?”

I perked up at that, and Nicole wiggled, leaning up enough to look at her. “Of course. What’s up?”

“Am I … pretty?” She sounded hesitant, even reluctant. I wanted to laugh because it sounded so ridiculous, but she seemed so serious that I managed to suppress it. I smiled as I reached up and across Jennifer’s lap to squeeze Allison’s hand.

“You’re beautiful, Ally.”

Jennifer nodded in agreement, wrapping an arm around her. “What she said. Why? Did someone say something?”

Allison quickly shook her head. “No, it’s nothing like that. It’s just,” she sighed, nuzzling closer to Jennifer and placing her head on her shoulder. “I thought Mark wanted to go out with me, but every time I try to talk to him, he’s always got some excuse to be somewhere else. I’m starting to think I should just give up on it.”

Nicole tapped my shoulder. “Robin, help me up?” she asked. I smiled as I stood, giving her my hand to pull herself up. She spun with a surprisingly delicate grace, only barely bumping into Jennifer as she swung her legs down and sat upright, immediately turning to face Jennifer and Allison. I sat again, this time on the floor by Allison.

“Ally, Mark is a guy,” she stated matter-of-factly. Allison laughed.

“Yeah, I noticed,” she responded dryly, causing Jennifer to crack a giggle as Nicole rolled her eyes.

“No, I mean, just because he doesn’t show his feelings, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have them. Remember how it basically took Robin’s full support for me to admit to you that I like girls?”

Allison nodded. “You were so terrified that our friendship would change.” She smiled fondly down at me. “I guess it did change though, for the better.”

“Exactly. I was terrified. Mark knows you like him. He likes you too. In fact he thinks you’re gorgeous, but that’s part of his problem.”

Allison leaned forward, giving Nicole an uncertain stare. “How so?”

She giggled. “He thinks you’re way out of his league. I’ve tried to tell him you like him too, but he’s scared, and too stubborn to admit it.”

Jennifer smiled to herself. I knew that look. “Think of it in basketball terms, Ally. When the other team has the ball, what’s your number one priority?”

“Um,” she paused in thought. “To steal the ball?”

Jennifer giggled. “Okay, what’s the OTHER thing? You don’t want the other team to score, right?” Allison nodded in response, but it was clear by her expression she couldn’t see where Jennifer’s analogy was going, so she continued. “You’re reacting to the other team.”

She stared for a moment before recognition dawned. “Oh! In other words, the ball’s in my court, right?”

Jennifer patted her head patronizingly, but giggled. “Just teasing,” she added, “But yeah, exactly. He hasn’t been responding to the subtle hints,”

“Even the ones I’ve been throwing at him,” I inserted.

“Then you’re going to have to be more direct. Ally, you know how we used to tease you about being too assertive?”

Her gaze fell right on me, causing me to giggle. “I remember you saying that about yourself once. Jen’s right. This is one time where it’s okay to be yourself, to be a little assertive. You should kiss him and see what happens.”

“What?! No way! I mean, I-”

“You’ve never kissed a boy,” Jennifer stated matter-of-factly. “And that’s okay. Before Josh I hadn’t either. I kissed a girl once, but that’s different.”

Nicole’s jaw dropped. “Wait, what?!”

Jennifer giggled, her cheeks turning just a hint of rosy. “It was a Girl Scout camp thing, and it was totally innocent. Well, mostly innocent. I was thirteen and neither of us had ever kissed someone, so we decided to see what it felt like.”

“And?” Nicole asked impatiently.

“And… It felt kind of weird honestly — no offense,” she added with a wry smile. Nicole shrugged and smiled back.

“None taken. I’m just kind of in shock to hear you of all people say something like that. Anyway, Ally, look on the bright side. Your first kiss will be with someone you like. My first real kiss was with Jason. It tasted like cigarettes,” she whined.

“That was the REAL reason I never let him kiss me again. The whole ‘secretly like girls’ thing was just a bonus.” She giggled, causing the rest of us to start giggling as well. Laughter is contagious.

“Thanks,” Allison sighed whimsically as she settled back again. I felt her hand absentmindedly stroking my hair and smiled, giving her leg a light pat in response. “You guys are the best.”

~oOo~

With Thanksgiving fast-approaching, I had a lot on my plate. Babysitting Amanda on Monday, another basketball game Tuesday, meeting Nicole’s relatives Wednesday, and helping them prepare thanksgiving dinner for the following day all weighed heavily on my mind, but most of all the thought of meeting Nicole’s family. I found it hard to focus in class, and more than once Mrs. Ellis called my name to bring me back to reality.

When she finished her lecture, she approached my desk and offered me her hand. “C’mon, let’s go for a walk.”

“A walk?” I echoed with surprise. Though she had worn jeans and a cute peach top with white sneakers today, I’d decided to go a little dressy with an ankle-length dark floral skirt and a dark brown knit sweater matched to the base tones, as well as my three inch clog heels, so I knew she didn’t mean for me to walk TOO far. Still I stood, giving Allison a glance.

Allison smiled reassuringly at the unspoken request to get my things if the bell rang, and I turned to follow my English teacher/newspaper staff advisor. She held the door open for me to step through, closing it behind her. She motioned toward the open hall and offered me a friendly smile as we walked side-by-side. I couldn’t help noticing we were heading in the direction of the teachers’ lounge.

“So how are you doing?” she asked simply. I rolled my shoulders just a little, offering her a nervous smile. I’d never been pulled out of class like this before.

“I’m okay, I guess. I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention in class. It’s just there’s a lot going on this week.”

She frowned a little. “The column isn’t too much for you is it? You know you don’t have to write it every week if you need a break any time,” she offered sincerely.

“No, it’s nothing like that. It’s just,” I hesitated, and she smiled sympathetically. As I suspected she would, she stopped at the teachers’ lounge, opening the door. She held it open expectantly, and I bit my bottom lip, stepping through.

The lounge wasn’t at all what I expected, but then, I didn’t know what to expect. Even in high school, the teachers’ lounge was like no-man’s-land for a student. Looking around though, it felt pretty Spartan. Several very uncomfortable-looking chairs lined one wall, with a folding table and more uncomfortable chairs at the center. A long folding table with three computers sat against the other wall, and two vending machines and a soda machine sat beside a long counter, where a coffee pot rested.

Mrs. Ellis approached the machines, fishing out a crisp dollar bill. “Can I get you something sweetie?” she asked over her shoulder.

I shook my head. “No, thank you. This is really not what I was expecting.”

She laughed. “When I was a kid I used to try and sneak a peek at the teacher’s lounge when someone would go in. When I first started student-teaching, it felt very odd being in here.” After retrieving her diet soda, she approached, sitting in one of the uncomfortable chairs. After straightening my skirt I sat beside her, shifting to face her.

“So what’s going on? I don’t mind you having trouble paying attention once in awhile because I know you’re a good student, and you’ll just read up on what you missed later, but if I recall correctly you have Phys. Ed. next. I don’t want you to get a broken nose from an errant basketball.” She grinned.

I laughed. “Yeah, I guess you’ve got a point there. It’s… Well, I think the big thing I’m worried about is Thanksgiving.” I went on to tell her the whole story about how my holiday plans came about, how Nicole’s dad’s minor heart attack meant her mom’s entire family, save one uncle, would be coming here instead. Perceptive as always, she immediately asked.

“What about that one uncle?”

I exhaled, shifting my gaze. “He’s… not coming because of me.”

“Oh Robin,” she offered softly. “What happened?”

I turned back to look at her, and I could see both sincerity and concern on her face. I felt instantly at-ease with telling her everything. “Someone let it slip that Nicole was dating a girl, and he flipped out. It’s really hurting her because he was her favorite uncle until now. She said he always seemed very laid-back.”

“How does that make you feel? If you don’t mind my asking?” she asked gently. I rolled my shoulders.

“I don’t mind. I talked to my therapist about this last Saturday, but my feelings haven’t changed much. I feel like I’m caught in the middle. On the one hand I want to be with Nikki and her family, and I want to experience a real Thanksgiving. My mom’s family disowned us before I was even born.”

“And on the other hand?”

“And on the other hand, it feels like I’m intruding, but Nikki practically shouted at me when I told her I didn’t have to come. She thought I meant that she’d choose him over me, but what I meant was that if it would make things easier for her. She still wants me there, though. I guess I’m just scared. What if the rest of her family feels the same way?”

“Hmm,” she answered. She only now seemed to remember her diet soda, opening it and taking a slow, deliberate sip. Finally, she smiled thoughtfully. “I’ve never had Nikki as a student before this year, but I read her file in preparation for having you as one, and I’ve seen her around the school in the past.” She paused and chuckled to herself. “I was terrified of having any friend of hers in my class at first.”

“Terrified? Of me?” I asked in utter disbelief. This got her to outright laugh as she nodded.

“Yes. Teachers talk, dear. Nicole had a reputation for being,” she paused, searching for the right word. “Witty.” She grinned.

“Ah, and because of who her parents are, I bet that made the situation more delicate?”

“Exactly. Nothing could have prepared me for actually meeting you though. The other teachers have said much the same thing of her. I probably shouldn’t even be telling you this, but we’re very proud of how far she’s come since last year. Now I can’t say how much of that is your influence,” she paused, flashing me that cute grin of hers, “But I can say that her uncle is being an idiot, if you’ll pardon my French.”

Idiot was the harshest thing I’d ever heard Mrs. Ellis say about anyone. I had to smile at that. I reached out to pull her into a hug, and though it caught her off-guard, she smiled back.

“Thanks, Mrs. Ellis. I so needed that.”

“You’re welcome Robin. Don’t worry so much about what others think. You said Nicole wants you there with her family for Thanksgiving. I’ll wager they haven’t seen much of her since last year, well before all this.”

She stood, approaching the door. My backside was about to fall asleep in the rigid chair, so I stood to quickly follow her. “Give them a chance to get to know you and they’ll see the bright, confident young woman I’ve come to love having in my classroom.”

“There you are!” Allison chimed as I returned to my seat. “Is everything okay?”

I smiled brightly in response. “Yeah. Mrs. Ellis just wanted to talk.”

“And?” she shot back expectantly. I laughed.

“And I’ll tell you about it when there are less prying eyes around,” I answered, glancing at the gathering of students that had leaned our way to eavesdrop. Allison giggled.

“Fair enough,” she mused with an odd, cheerful lilt in her voice.

“Mostly she just wanted to know if I was okay though. It helped, but like I said, I’ll fill you in later.” I paused. She was still grinning. Come to think of it, she’d been grinning all day.

“Um, Ally? Did you talk to Mark this morning?”

She simply giggled in response.

~oOo~

Allison was conspicuously absent at lunch that day, although Lisa and Trent did join us. Lisa had the most ridiculous, adorable grin on her face that I’d ever seen, and Trent seemed to be doing better, though that could have to do with meeting deadlines ahead of schedule even despite losing Elaine for a couple of days.

Babysitting for Amanda was a joy as well. I found myself more than once wishing I could babysit for the Greers more often, but I knew my schedule just wouldn’t allow it right now. Still I’d have to make some time, maybe the Sunday after Thanksgiving, to come over for a visit and give Angela and her husband a couple of hours to do as they pleased.

Wednesday arrived far too quickly for my taste. I spent the night at Nicole’s, my first night to actually stay over in the gargantuan manor. Not only had Nicole’s mother’s family learned that Nicole and I were dating, but they also somehow found out that I loved to cook. Imagine my surprise when not Nicole, but Gina offered for me to spend the night, so I could be up early to get started on preparations.

Of course most of the cooking would be handled Thursday morning, but there were a few things that required work ahead of time. The Morgans, as I’ve said in the past, were down-to-earth people. The only reason a personal chef even became part of the staff was to keep Bob’s diet in line, though even he had a family to think of, so Gina insisted he take the holiday off to be with them, with pay, and let us handle everything.

As I stirred awake, I couldn’t help feeling as though someone were watching me. Nicole convinced her parents that we’d behave enough to let me stay in the guest room next door to her bedroom, a beautifully-decorated affair with heavy emphasis on warm, rosy colors. Nicole often jokingly called it ‘the pink room’, but I kind of liked it. It wasn’t so much pink either, as soft, muted rose.

“Morning cutie,” her voice cooed as she, still in her pajamas, leaned down to kiss my forehead. I smiled and squeezed her hand as I turned my head away to yawn, to avoid assaulting her with morning breath. I sat up and immediately wrapped her in a hug.

“Morning, vampire,” I teased. “How long have you been there?”

She laughed. “Just a few seconds. Mom asked me to come see if you were up yet. I didn’t wake you did I?” she asked, suddenly concerned, but I shook my head quickly.

“No. I was dreaming about being chased.”

“Uh oh,” she frowned. “Is it the dream again? I mean, the one about … ‘him’?”

I shuddered, and then smiled. “No, this was,” I paused, “Promise you won’t laugh?”

She nodded quickly. “I promise.”

“I was being chased by a giant turkey.”

She blinked, cracking a smile as she held her breath, trying with every ounce of strength not to go back on her word. Finally I rolled my eyes and laughed. “Oh, go ahead. It is sort of funny.” At that, she cracked up giggling. Gina poked her head in the room.

“Is everything alright in here?” she asked, eyeing me oddly. I laughed.

“Yes ma’am. I was just telling Nikki about this weird dream I had. I was being chased by a giant turkey. I mean, like a real, live, forty foot tall turkey.”

Gina’s face contorted as though even she had to fight a giggle. She cleared her throat. “I’ll start breakfast shortly if either of you want to help. My brother Paul phoned ahead that they’d be arriving this morning ahead of the rest of the family. He says he’s bringing a surprise.”

Nicole and I looked at each other, Nicole returning her gaze to her mother a moment later. “What kind of surprise?” she asked.

“The edible kind,” Gina responded. I swear she was grinning at me as she turned to leave. Nicole shifted to look back at me.

“Is it me, or was my mom grinning at you when she said that?”

“Your mom’s family is Italian right?” I asked. Nicole nodded.

“Yeah. Second generation Italian-American.”

“So,” I paused, causing her to laugh.

“You’re wondering what’s on the menu right?”

I nodded. “I didn’t want to sound offensive. I’ve just never had a big family dinner before,” I offered. Nicole’s warm smile put me immediately at ease even as she stood, pulling me out of bed and right into another hug.

“It’s okay. You’re as much a Morgan now as I am — adopted, y’know?” she added with a broad grin. “Basically we usually do traditional turkey and all that stuff, but my mom’s family loves to eat, and there’s a LOT of them, but you seem to do pretty well in crowds.”

“Last Thanksgiving Mom and I actually just had some of her bachelor colleagues over,” I laughed. “It can’t be any worse than having a bunch of unmarried nurses gabbing about stuff I have no business hearing about.”

“Oh gawd,” she answered, shaking her head. “Anyway, the bathroom’s all yours if you want to get a shower first. I’m just gonna get dressed and go see if Mom needs help.”

Even though I’d be meeting Nicole’s family today I just couldn’t bring myself to ‘dress up’ for the occasion. They needed to meet the real me, and not some fashion doll with perfect hair and makeup and all that.

Of course, I’d pester Nicole about what to wear for tomorrow too, but for today I’d brought with me a pair of tight jeans and my favorite top — the pink t-shirt red knit camisole combo that Nicole mentioned she liked once. I liked it too. It was casual, but kind of girly too.

The three of us spent most of the early morning just gathering our ingredients for the day. In addition to getting some of the desserts out of the way first, we’d also have two meals to think about as well.

Bob and Gina wouldn’t think of letting anyone stay in a hotel while they had empty guest rooms to fill, though I wondered, with all this talk of how many would be coming, both whether they’d have enough room, and how on earth they all got together in a smaller house in years past.

A rich, strong cinnamon smell permeated the kitchen even at its size, as I pulled the first apple pie from the oven. Gina had gone to answer the door, and Nicole left shortly before that to relieve herself, leaving just me and the cooking. I suddenly heard a stout male voice behind me.

“Nikki, is that you?” he sounded surprised. I smiled as I glanced back over my shoulder to find a tall, lanky man in a heavy coat, carrying a dark blue baseball cap. “Oh, I guess you must be Robin? Sorry about that,” he laughed lightly as he approached.

“Oh that’s okay,” I answered as I dusted the flour off my hands and onto my apron, offering my hand as he stepped closer. “You must be her uncle? Nice to meet you.”

He seemed equally surprised by my greeting. He studied me for a moment as he shook my hand. I could see, now that he was right in front of me, that his thinning brown hair lay messily, probably from wearing that ball cap. As he nodded, he answered.

“Yes, Paul Pinicci. My dad had an odd sense of humor like that,” he added. Though he had a somewhat joking tone, his expression seemed frozen in a mix of shock and uncertainty.

“Uncle Paul!” Nicole bellowed happily. He suddenly looked up at her as she raced across the tile floor, and his shock shifted even further. It probably didn’t help that Nicole had worn her Girl Scouts of America t-shirt and faded jeans today.

“Nikki? Little Nikki? You girls are trying to put me in my grave aren’t you?” he laughed, wrapping her in a hug as she neared, throwing her arms around him. She grinned.

“I guess you met Robin then?”

He shifted his gaze between the two of us and nodded. “She’s, um… Not what I expected,” he laughed, adding. “But I mean that in a good way. Honestly none of us knew what to expect. I’m sorry about how Charlie reacted,” he added more soberly.

Nicole’s face fell. “What the hell was his problem anyway? He’s never acted like that before.”

He nodded. “I honestly don’t know. We had a long talk though, and those feelings are definitely coming from somewhere, but I made him promise not to ruin Thanksgiving over it.” He paused and smiled at both of us, placing a hand on each of our shoulders. “It’s your life, not his. Now, come on, your aunt Mary wants to see you, and your cousins.”

“Bryce and Amber are here too?” she asked excitedly, causing him to laugh.

“Amber almost didn’t make it. Flu hit her like a truck last week, but she’s better now.”

Removing my apron, I neatly folded it and set it on the counter next to the mixing bowl and turned to follow Nicole and her uncle out into the den. I was introduced to Mary, a middle-aged woman with copper red hair, her seventeen year old daughter Amber, and Bryce, their fourteen year old son. What followed was a repeat performance of the kitchen, complete with being told once again that I wasn’t what they were expecting.

Finally, I had to ask. “If you don’t mind my asking, what were you guys expecting?”

Amber fidgeted with a length of her auburn hair while her brother cleared his throat. “Well Nikki’s kind of always been rebellious.” Amber elbowed him in the ribs and glared. “Ow!” he grunted, glaring at her. “It’s true!”

Nicole laughed. “Oh now I get it. I’m sorry I didn’t keep you guys all updated on what’s been happening in my life. I’m not the girl I used to be though.” She smiled as she intertwined her fingers with mine, tilting her head to rest on my shoulder.

“Robin’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. That’s why I wanted her here. She’s never had a big family dinner like this.”

Amber’s jaw dropped. “Never? Like, not for anything?”

I shook my head. “Never. It’s a long story, but basically it’s just been me and my mom until I moved here.”

“Where’d you move here from?” Bryce asked curiously. I glanced at Nicole, and she grinned back at me, nodding.

“San Francisco,” I answered, half-expecting the same sort of reaction I’d gotten back at camp.

Bryce and Amber stared at each other, and then back at me. Bryce started to say something, but Mary gave them a motherly glare, standing to approach us.

“Well, Robin, it sounds like you have made quite the impact on Nikki. Let me be the first to welcome you to the family, so to speak.” She smiled as she wrapped me in a comforting hug. All the fear and apprehension I’d felt melted away in that instant. I felt like I belonged. I smiled a little as she stepped back again.

“Thanks. That means so much to me. With how Nikki’s other uncle reacted I… wasn’t really sure if this was such a good idea.”

Amber rolled her eyes. “Oh please, he’ll get over it, and if he doesn’t, his loss. You seem pretty cool to me.”

“I guess I should get back to the kitchen, if you guys need anything.”

Mary eyed me with surprise. “You cook too?”

Nicole giggled. “Robin’s an awesome cook, but like she said, no big family dinners, so she’s never gotten to really exercise those skills like this. Oh that reminds me!” she spun on her heels to face Paul again.

“What was that big surprise Mom was talking about?”

“Mom?” he asked, glancing at Gina. Gina grinned quite proudly as she nodded. “Uh, right! Mary, do you have the picture?”

She nodded, producing a small four-by-six color photo of Paul standing on a small fishing boat. In his hands was quite possibly the largest fish I’d ever seen. Nicole and I stared in amazement at the gigantic beast.

“I nearly set a new lake record with that beast. Don’t get me wrong; turkey’s still on the menu, but I figured since everyone’s coming here for Thanksgiving, I’d bring a little bit of home with us.” He smiled proudly. “Anyway, I’ll let you ladies get back to cooking. I need to get our luggage in. Bob could I get you to help me with my car too?”

I missed the rest of the car conversation, as Nicole and I had already started back for the kitchen. Mary and Gina stayed behind to chat for a moment, and I could only assume Bryce had gone with the men to handle the luggage and whatever was wrong with Paul’s car.

I’d no sooner tied my apron into place when Amber giggled to herself. “I still can’t get over how different you are Nikki. How come you never called or wrote?”

Nicole smiled sheepishly as she leaned against the side of the breakfast bar opposite the cooking utensils. I may have been a great cook, and Nicole a fantastic mechanic, but neither of us dared intrude on the others’ Zen space, as we jokingly called it. Nicole hated cooking.

“Honestly? Time just kinda got away from me. With Robin it’s been like one adventure after another.”

“No kidding. Girl Scouts?” she answered with a chiding smile. Nicole laughed.

“Oh shush. It was fun! Plus it got us away from Alpine Springs for awhile.”

I listened as the cousins caught up, losing myself in my work. Nicole caught Amber up on everything that had been happening since June, up until the mention of the big Halloween party.

“Shut up!” Amber squealed. “You seriously got Heedless Despair to play?!”

Nicole laughed. “Yeah. Their bassist gave me her old bass for my birthday. I’ll show it to you later. The whole band signed it.”

“That is SO cool!” she gushed.

“Hey, I’ll be back in a second. I’m going to go ask what’s up with your dad’s car. There’s sodas and stuff in the fridge if you want something to drink,” she added, turning to head for the door.

Amber nodded as she watched Nicole leave and glanced over at the near kitchen door as though expecting their mothers to walk in at any moment. Satisfied, she stepped closer, leaning on the bar. I had just set a bowl down on the bar to crack a couple of eggs, when she bit her lip, staring at me.

“So, can I ask you something really personal?” she asked nervously. I looked up at her and smiled.

“Sure,” I responded warmly as I cracked the first egg, reaching for the second.

“Have you guys ever, um, y’know?” I nearly dropped my egg, staring in surprise back at her. She gasped. “Oh, ew, no! I meant have you kissed yet?” She turned beet read, and I just had to giggle.

“Oh!” I replied, my own cheeks starting to burn. “Sorry. Yeah, we’ve kissed. We’ve been going steady for months.”

“What’s it like to kiss a girl?”

“Well, I’m probably the wrong person to ask that. I’ve never kissed a guy. With Nikki though, it’s special. It’s a personal and very endearing exchange with someone who’s at once my girlfriend and my best friend.”

She sighed whimsically. “That’s so sweet.”

“For what it’s worth,” I added, “I actually just found out one of my best friends kissed another girl when she was thirteen, and she has a steady boyfriend now.” I chuckled inwardly remembering Nicole’s reaction to Jennifer’s declaration. “She said it felt weird.”

“Oh,” she answered simply, but smiled after a moment. “I guess that sounds pretty weird coming from someone you just met. I’m sorry. It’s just, I’m still kind of in shock at seeing Nikki like this, y’know, happy. The thought of asking her felt even weirder.”

I shrugged. “It’s fine, really. I don’t mind talking about our relationship. The entire school knows we’re dating.”

“Seriously?” she asked, surprised. I nodded.

“Yeah. Most kids just don’t care. Or they’re afraid of my mad Kung Fu skills,” I joked, causing her to laugh.

“I like you. Do me a favor and make Nikki stay in touch more though? I like this new her too. I want to get to know you both a little better if that’s alright.”

“Sure it is,” Nicole answered from the side, causing us both to jump. She grinned. “Sorry; didn’t mean to sneak up on ya. Robin, Mom says she and Aunt Mary can take over for a little while if you and Amber want to come hang out; Bryce too if he doesn’t mind a bunch of giggly girls.”

Amber laughed. “Meh, he’ll get over it.”

~oOo~

Throughout the rest of the day I met more of Nicole’s mother’s family; five brothers and three sisters in total, each with no less than two kids, ranging from Amber at seventeen all the way down to the youngest, little Teresa Anne at six months. I began to see why Gina wanted so badly to adopt, as the only sibling with no kids of her own.

My heart ached for her, as I realized what that meant about her prospects for grandchildren, though she of all people would at least better understand if Nicole and I chose to adopt, assuming we were still together when we were ready for that.

Thankfully dress for dinner Thursday was casual, though I decided to at least wear a skirt today, opting to wear my floral skirt again. When I wasn’t busying myself in the kitchen, I found myself mingling with various aunts, uncles, and cousins.

Nora, Teresa’s mother, approached me with the baby in her arms. She smiled. “Nikki told me you’ve never held a baby before.” I smiled nervously as I nodded. I could see where this was going. She continued. “She’s a little fussy from the trip, but I need to use the restroom. Would you mind?”

“I, um,” I started, but nodded. “Sure, if you could tell me what to do?”

She smiled brightly, and after a few moments’ instruction, I suddenly found myself holding the little bundle of joy, wrapped snugly in her powder pink blanket. I quickly found myself a place to sit as I watched her sleepily giggle. Before I knew it, she was fast asleep.

I heard Amber giggle off to the side and glanced up to see her grinning back at me, digital camera in-hand. After a quick snap, she approached.

“You’re a natural,” she teased. My cheeks burned as I smiled back at her.

“She’s so beautiful. I’ve never … Well, I’d never been good with kids until Girl Scout camp. There’s this one little girl, Amanda. It sounds silly I know, but I’ve really taken to her. I babysit for her sometimes now.”

“That’s not silly at all,” she answered, sitting on the sofa beside me. “I’m kind of jealous. Mom wanted to have more kids, but with the complications from both me and Bryce they decided two was plenty. I always wanted a little sister to coddle,” she giggled.

“I just wanted to warn you that Uncle Charlie’s here,” she added in a low whisper.

“Who’s Uncle Charlie?” I asked hesitantly. “The one who…”

“Yeah, that one,” she sighed. “He’s not happy about it, but Aunt Susan finally talked some sense into him. Oh crap, here he comes now,” she cursed under her breath.

I glanced up to see a tall, moderately portly man with neatly trimmed hair approached us. He nodded to Amber, who returned the nod. He then glanced down at me.

“I don’t recognize you. Are you from Bob’s side?” he asked rather gently for someone who I just knew was going to cause a scene. I shook my head.

“No, I’m… Well, I’m one of Nikki’s friends,” I half-lied. His face contorted, but not into a scowl. It was a look of confusion. Finally he stepped closer and sat down on the sofa beside me.

“Just tell me one thing,” he offered softly. I nodded.

“Sure, what is it?”

“Is this really what she wants? This isn’t some rebellious teenager thing is it?”

I shook my head. “No sir. For what it’s worth, Nikki hurt a lot because of it. She ached to stop hiding and just be herself, and I can empathize because I went through the same thing. It’s like … Well, my therapist says that it’s like anything else that has to do with our brains.”

He seemed to perk up at that comment. “How’s that?”

“Well, do you know any left-handed people?” I asked. He almost laughed as he held up his left hand.

“You could say that.”

I smiled as I nodded. “Did anyone ever force you to use your right hand?”

“Heh heh, ohhh yeah.” he answered with an amused smile. “Drove my teachers crazy back in the day because I flat-out refused to use my right hand. To this day I can barely stand to do anything with it.”

“Your brain’s hard-wired to be left-handed,” I answered simply. “Gender and sexuality are basically the same. I don’t think anyone fully understands it yet, but it’s basically the same thing.”

“So… you’re saying that being, well, you know, is because of your brain?”

“Exactly. Like I said, it’s just like being left or right-handed. And forcing someone to ‘act’ straight is the same thing as forcing a left-handed person to use their right hand, only it’s not ‘just’ uncomfortable. Being in a relationship with someone you’re not attracted to is painful.”

He frowned at that, slowly nodding. “I… I guess I never thought about it like that. When I heard Nikki was dating a girl, I just sort of lost it. I thought she was just doing it for attention. She’s my favorite niece,” he paused, leaning forward to smile at Amber, “No offense meant.”

Amber laughed. “None taken. You and Nikki have been close for awhile now.”

“I just wanted what’s best for her, but now… I ah, I think I owe her an apology. Excuse me girls,” he offered sheepishly as he stood to leave us.

As if on cue, Nora returned. She grinned as I stood to return her baby to her. “So how did it go?”

“How did …” I paused. She winked at me.

“Sorry for the trickery sweetheart, but I thought if my brother saw you with Teresa he’d keep his foot where it belongs on the ground, and not in his mouth.” She paused, staring down at the baby. “She’s asleep? Well I certainly wasn’t expecting that,” she added with a grin.

~oOo~

Just before dinner, I pulled out my laptop, set up the video chat program, and greeted Ash’s family. It was a much smaller affair than what we were having here, and more than once an aunt or cousin would stop to see who I was talking to. I’d grin, pull them over into the shot, and introduce them to Mom or whichever of Ash’s family I happened to be chatting with.

Dinner was, in a word, fantastic. I knew from taste-testing some of the dishes we had prepared that it would be good, but it wasn’t just the food, or the fact that I got to exchange recipes with every one of Nicole’s aunts, and two of her uncles, that made the whole affair special.

I thought I was going to cry when, after they brought out the turkey to the huge dining hall table, Charlie stood and asked me to say Grace.

All my life I wondered what it would be like to have a big family, if things might have gone differently for me. Would I have told someone I really wanted to be a girl? I can’t answer that, but I can say, at least, that I didn’t have to wonder what it felt like to belong.

~* A Ski Lift For Two *~ While Jonathan took Nicole and Allison first, I started wandering the equipment racks. I really wanted to learn to ski before even thinking about snowboarding, which meant it wouldn’t be happening this trip, but as I passed by a really nice-looking decal on a dark purple board, I had to stop and look. “Nice isn’t it?” Jennifer spoke up, causing me to jump. She giggled. “It’s the Blue Majestic line. The guy who makes them is actually an ex-surfer. He still makes boards sometimes, but his specialty is snowboards and skis these days.” “Oh, I just thought it was pretty,” I admitted with a sheepish smile, half-expecting her to laugh at me. She grinned instead. “Me too; that’s what I like about Blues. The guy’s daughter’s only thirteen, but she does the master print for all his decals.

---

“He…llo?” I groaned into my cell phone. Light poured in from over the top of my bedroom curtains so I knew it had to be well past daylight already. This was the Friday following Thanksgiving though, and I had never eaten so much in my life. I was still full by dinner time!

“Hi sweetheart, did I wake you?” Mom asked cheerfully. I immediately perked up, despite the yawn.

“Oh, hi Mom! I needed to get up anyway. What time is it?”

“It’s just past nine,” she responded with the slightest hint of a giggle, probably at my oversleeping. “I just wanted to check in on you. I’ll be home Sunday, but we’re spending the day in New York City today.”

“New York City? Seriously? Mom that’s so cool! You HAVE to see a Broadway play while you’re there!” I responded excitedly.

Mom had a tone of relief in her voice when she responded, “I’m so relieved you said that. Ash has been trying to talk me into going, but I just didn’t feel right knowing you were stuck there at home. We’re also doing some shopping. I think it will be cheaper to mail everything than to pay the extra luggage fees!”

I had to giggle. “So how was Thanksgiving? Ash’s family seems very nice.”

“Oh, honey you have no idea. Ash’s mother is an absolute joy. She’s coming to visit for Christmas so she can meet you.”

“Really? “ I blinked reflexively and stammered. “I-I don’t know what to say.”

Mom giggled. “You really made an impression. I’ll let you go for now, but I’ll call you again tonight. I love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you too, Momma,” I answered warmly. “I’m sure Margie sends her love too, but it’s too cold to get up and check.”

She laughed. “I’ll see if I can find you a pair of cozy slippers while I’m shopping. Have a good day!”

“You too!” I shot back with a giggle, setting my phone aside. I thought I heard someone banging on the door downstairs and pouted. “So much for staying cozy in bed,” I exhaled, forcing myself to get up, but not without my heavy lavender fleece robe!

“Hey you,” Nicole called cheerfully from the front door. I had just reached the bottom step, still dressed in my pajamas. She approached, but I met her halfway, wrapping her in a tight hug. She giggled as I stole a quick kiss before answering.

“Hi there stranger.” I let my hands linger around her neck for several seconds before finally letting her go. She smiled thoughtfully.

“So I take it you’re not ready, hey?”

“Ready for what?” I asked bluntly, and then it hit me. I slapped my palm to my face which caused her to laugh. Out of the blue last night, Jennifer had called and asked if I wanted to start practicing with her for gymnastics next Spring.

It had completely slipped my mind, but then with all the excitement of the holiday, I was dead tired by the time I finally got home.

“It’s okay,” she offered reassuringly, leaning over to kiss my forehead. I smiled sheepishly.

“Sorry. Just give me a minute to get dressed.”

She nodded, offering a sympathetic smile. “No problem. Oh, there’s been a change of plans though,” she added before I could even reach the third step. I glanced back, waiting for her to continue.

“Jen’s place isn’t small by any means, but unless you want to be doing back flips in her back yard you’re gonna need room to move around.”

I had to laugh. “I won’t be doing any back flips, period. Not yet anyway.”

“Oh come on!” she shot back as she followed me upstairs. She stopped as I entered my room though, turning her back to the doorway, “You’re in a lot better shape now than you were in June, plus you’ve been taking Kenpo. I bet you could kick Chelsea’s butt.”

“Of course I can,” I joked. I stripped down out of my pajamas and disappeared into my closet, “I mean I even scored a point on Josh the last time we sparred together.”

Nicole cackled. “You did? But that’s not what I mean, ya goof!”

I poked my head back around the corner to see she still stood with her back to the door. I had to giggle to myself. Nicole was such a sweetheart. How many guys would resist the urge to peek while their girlfriend stood nearly naked in the next room?

“Yeah, I know what you meant. It’s bad enough I got Homecoming Princess over her though. She’s so much prettier.”

Nicole scoffed. “Ugh, so not: she’s too skinny for her height.”

“Hey, are you saying I’m fat?” I chided playfully as I pulled my form-fitting Heedless Despair concert t-shirt into place.

“No! You’re just right! It’s not like she doesn’t eat though. She’s just, like, the one girl in our school with a bigger metabolism than yours,” she reasoned. After pulling my sweat pants into place I crept up behind her, wrapping my arms around her. I lightly kissed the back of her neck.

“Nice save,” I teased, eliciting another giggle as she turned around.

“Ooh. That shirt looks great on you,” she added admiringly.

“So what’s the new plan?” I asked. I let her go, returning to my bed to pull on my socks. The ragged two-tone pink and white tongues of my athletic sneakers flopped as I hauled them from under the bed. I'd need to get a new pair soon. Jogging with Allison, gym class, and basketball practice had aged them ragged before their time.

“Well,” she began, leaning against the door frame and watching me with that mischievous smile of hers, “After breakfast this morning my family asked why I ran off to answer the phone so soon after spending the day with you. I explained that it was because Jen was on the line too; I figured it had to be something important.”

“And?” I asked as I stood. I pulled my hair back with a simple purple scrunchie, applying just the lightest touch of lip gloss while I waited for her to continue.

“And Amber volunteered to help clear the dining hall so you guys could come over to my place and practice.”

“Seriously?!” I had to giggle, rushing over to wrap her in a hug. “You’re the best!”

She rolled her shoulders after returning the gesture, though she upped the ante by kissing me on the tip of my nose. “Like I said it was Amber’s idea. This way you’ll have more than enough room. We just need to stop by Jen’s first so we can load up her practice mats.”

“Awesome. I haven’t seen Jen’s mom in awhile anyway,” I replied. Nicole smiled sheepishly as she followed me out of the room.

“Yeah, me either. We’ve all been so busy this year though. It’s crazy. You showed up and things just haven’t been the same since. I’m not complaining though,” she added with a broad grin.

~oOo~

The snow had melted off by now, and despite my conditioning to mid-seventies indoor climes for most of my life, high thirties actually didn’t feel that bad. Granted I didn’t leave the house without my heavy jacket either! Nicole by contrast had only a very light windbreaker type jacket over, of all things, her black, lace-spaghetti strap tank top.

Jennifer lived in a darling red brick one-story with a cement slab of a sidewalk which led to a covered, open-air front patio. A pristine white banister ran its length along the outside edge on the south and west faces, with a single poured cement step up to meet the patio floor. A relatively new hardwood swing hung from the ceiling. It rather reminded me of the much older one that hung in our back yard, where Allison had found me that first day.

When we pulled into the Bakers’ driveway, Jennifer opened the door, motioning quickly. She had a rather large grin on her face as she turned to step back inside. Nicole and I looked at each other for a moment, both of us cracking a giggle in unison as we stepped out of her Mustang and made our way up to the door.

“Hi guys!” Jennifer called cheerfully as she opened the door again. Immediately behind her and to her right stood a tall, lanky man with olive-tanned skin and dark silver shoulder length hair that looked like it had once been jet black. The lines on his face belied the warm, jovial smile and the sparkle in his dark eyes.

“This is my grandfather, Kaleo. Grandpa this is Robin, and you remember Nikki, right?” She positively beamed, and as she stepped back to let us in, I nervously offered my hand.

He clasped it gently between his and bent down to kiss it. “Well, so you’re the one who organized the big luau at your camp, eh?” His grin broadened as he saw the surprise in my expression, and he laughed softly. “That was a righteous thing you girls did. I couldn’t have been prouder if I’d been there myself.”

“Wow. Thank you,” I offered nervously. He turned to Nicole. She grinned, opening her arms to hug him.

“Nikki, you look great. And you’re smiling!” he teased. She stuck out her tongue and giggled.

“Yeah, well, you can blame Robin for that too.” She giggled again, smiling brightly. “So how long are you here anyway?”

“Oh, another couple of weeks I figure. I heard you girls are looking for chaperones for your big ski trip,” he paused and winked. Nicole’s jaw dropped.

“You’re coming skiing with us?!”

Jennifer laughed. “Hey, who do you think taught me to snowboard? I’m kind of hoping we can get Moira to go too,” she added as she turned to step further into the living room. A couple of gym mats sat neatly rolled up and tied with rope beside her sofa.

She hauled one up over her shoulder, grabbing for the second which Kaleo had already lifted for her. He grinned, offering it to her. “Lift with your legs, remember?” he teased.

She laughed. “Oh, pfft. Nikki, pop the trunk will you?”

“Sure,” she answered.

As the two stepped out, Jennifer's mother stepped around the corner from the kitchen. Anna had one of those young faces. When we first met I actually mistakenly thought Jennifer had an older sister I didn't know about. She did, actually, but Anna certainly wasn't her. She smiled on seeing me, stepping closer to wrap me in a friendly hug.

“Well hello there Robin!”

“Hi Mrs. Baker,” I replied warmly. Kaleo smiled.

“I was just telling the girls I’d be helping chaperone their ski trip. I figure the more in-group instructors they have to lend a hand the less broken legs in the long run.”

She rolled her eyes, but chuckled. “Oh, very funny. You’re never going to let me live that down are you, Dad?”

He laughed cheerfully. “I’m only teasing. Besides, you showed up everyone when you got back on that board the very next day. It’s no wonder Jenny took to the water like a fish!”

She nodded with an almost whimsical smile. “I suppose I can’t blame you for corrupting her with your wild stories. She’s a Mahalei at heart.”

“Darn right I am,” Jennifer echoed in a playful tone from the open front door. “I just need to get the other mat and we’ll be ready. I don’t have enough mats for any big tumbling stuff, but we can always get Mrs. Greer to open the gym when you’re ready for that.”

She dashed off back into another part of the house, returning with a third rolled-up mat. She paused long enough to kiss her grandfather and mother on the cheek, turning to rush back to Nicole’s car.

“Hey, wait for me!” I called as I waved to the two then turned to chase after her.

Jennifer had already hopped in the backseat by the time I reached the car. I looked back at her as I pulled my seatbelt into place. “So Jen, can I ask you something now?”

“Of course: always,” she immediately answered.

“What were your mom and grandfather talking about?”

“Oh you mean the broken leg crack? When Mom was little, about eight or nine I think, she hit some rough surf.”

Nicole flinched, even as she threw the car into reverse to back out of the driveway. “Tell me she didn’t try surfing on a broken leg?”

Jennifer shook her head. “Nah, nothing that extreme. Everyone thought it was broken, and kept insisting she take it easy. The doc told her it was just a sprain though, and that’s all she needed to hear. Two days later she got a new board and got right back to it.” She chuckled. “Grandpa likes to tease her about it from time to time because she forbade me from trying again when I fell.”

“Yeah, but you almost drowned,” Nicole added ominously. Jennifer gave a serious nod.

“I also learned to respect the power of the ocean that day.”

~oOo~

True to her word, practice with Jennifer the first day focused more on the importance of fundamental stretches, and since she had the opportunity to observe both Josh and me at our Kenpo dojo, she was able to draw comparisons in warm-up exercises, making that aspect of things much easier. She also taught me a few of the easier dance moves I’d need to know down the road, though thankfully not before cheer camp next summer.

The following Sunday, we had another Girl Scouts meeting to discuss plans for our field trip. We arrived early to talk with Coach Greer, though getting to see Amanda would serve as a nice bonus, too. As Jennifer lazily lay back on the stage, her legs swinging delicately off the edge, a strong male voice called from the far door.

“What are you doing here?”

Jennifer sat bolt-upright at the same time the three of us glanced back. A rather large-framed man with neatly trimmed short hair, wearing slacks and a white dress shirt strolled closer, a sport coat slung over his shoulder.

“We’re here for the Girl Scout meeting,” I started to explain. “The door was unlocked so we thought Coach Greer had unlocked it.”

He stroked his chin in thought. He seemed to be sizing us up until his gaze fell on me. “You’re Robin, right?”

“Er… Yes? Who are you?” I asked uneasily. He chuckled.

“Then you must be Nicole, Allison, and Jennifer.” He got Nicole right, but mixed up the other two. Jennifer giggled.

“I’m Jen, that’s Ally. Hey wait, I know you. You’re Brock Ellis right?”

His neutral expression shifted to a shameless grin. “Guilty as charged. Katherine’s told me quite a bit about you girls, especially Robin’s exceptional performance of ‘The Raven’. I’m just sorry I missed it.”

I perked up. “Wait, you’re Mrs. Ellis’ husband?”

He nodded. “And the school’s theatrical director. Well, glorified drama teacher,” he added. He stepped closer to the stage, turning back to lean against it. “I unlocked the door because the drama club is holding rehearsal for Cinderella. Unfortunately our leading lady has the flu.”

“Oh, yuck. How long has she been out?” Allison asked.

“About four days now, poor kid. I just hope she’s better by next week. Have any of you given any thought to joining the drama club?”

Allison beamed as she nudged my arm. He shifted his gaze to me, and I offered a sheepish smile in response. “I thought about it. Right now I have basketball and Kenpo, plus babysitting once a month for the Greers. Then next semester I’ll have gym and maybe track and field.”

Jennifer chimed in, “But both of those are steadier on the schedule. You can practice running track as your PE credit, and gymnastics practice is only one night a week. Coupled with Kenpo on Fridays, that’s only two nights you’d have to miss practice.”

Mr. Ellis smiled as he nodded. “That’s true. We can work around everyone’s schedules, different scenes on different nights depending on who needs to be where.”

I glanced between the other three. Jennifer, Allison and Nicole all had an expression of love and support tattooed all over their features. Nicole grinned broadly as she squeezed my hand.

“You should go for it. You and I both know you enjoyed performing or you wouldn’t have put all that effort into it.”

Allison nodded emphatically. “She’s right. We can help you keep up on your homework too. If we have to come up here and help you with it between scenes, even.”

“Okay, I guess I can try. I mean, it sounds really fun.”

All three girls cheered as Mr. Ellis approached to shake my hand. “Fantastic!”

“Oh, there you girls are,” Coach Greer called from the back of the room. “We’ve moved the meeting to the cafeteria so the drama club can practice.” She turned to disappear again, and Mr. Ellis smiled.

“I believe that’s your cue, ladies. You’re welcome to come back here after your meeting though, if you’d like to get to know the other members of our current cast. We only have a handful that are actually official drama club members, so you needn’t feel obligated to join either now or later.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks Mr. Ellis!” I replied warmly as we stood to leave. Coach Greer stood just outside waiting for us. She had her arms folded with a mock pout.

“I thought I was going to get a new girl for gymnastics next year.”

I giggled at her feigned and very overdramatically performed efforts. “It’s okay. We already — well, the girls already worked it out. I just sort of went along for the ride. I can go to gymnastics on Wednesdays, or whenever you’re holding classes next semester, and do Kenpo on Fridays, plus practicing for track during school for my PE credit.”

“Track too?” she asked, genuinely surprised.

“Yeah, it’s just something I’m thinking about. I might not actually do it, but I need to do something to keep active.”

“I was thinking,” Jennifer added as we walked with Coach Greer toward the cafeteria, “that if I started working with Robin now, she’d be ready for the advanced class next Spring.”

Coach Greer nodded thoughtfully. “That makes sense. Do you have the mats for that kind of thing? I know you told me you have some smaller ones.”

“Yeah, I just have the little four-by’s. I can lay out three of them for an okay stretch for basic tumbling, but not enough for anything big.”

“Tell you what,” she added a moment later, “Robin, if you’d be willing to babysit for a couple of hours, I can open the gym for you girls for the next few Sundays until school lets out for Christmas break. I still need to do some Christmas shopping, so I need someone to distract Amanda.”

Nicole spoke up, “Hey, Ally and I can watch her while Robin and Jen are practicing, if you want an extra couple of hours?” Allison quickly nodded, continuing.

“Yeah, that’s a great idea Nikki! Robin’s always saying how Amanda’s like a sister, and we’re both first-aid and CPR-certified too.”

She stopped just outside the cafeteria door, turning back to face us. She seemed to be mulling it over for a moment, and finally nodded. “Okay, you’ve got yourselves a deal.” She grinned and pushed the door open, holding it for us to step through.

As we found ourselves a table with the other girls, she stepped in front to speak. “Okay girls, this meeting is called to discuss the upcoming ski trip. Now the first thing I need to know is how many chaperone volunteers we have so far.”

~oOo~

Even though we had just been let out for a five-day weekend break for Thanksgiving, Coach Greer had managed to talk the school board into giving us a four day weekend for our ski trip, since it would officially be a fully chaperoned Girl Scout venue. I didn’t dare to ask what kind of strings she had to pull to pull it off though. Of course, it meant I would have to miss one Kenpo practice, but Ash assured me I could make it up the next week.

All through Thursday, all I could think about was the ski trip. Jennifer took us shopping last Sunday evening so she could help us pick out appropriate jackets for the mountain weather. Our bags were all packed, and we would be leaving by bus for the airport that afternoon, though at least one of our chaperones would be meeting us in New Haven.

Mom, Kelly and Margie were waiting in the parking lot for us when school let out. Mom smiled as I raced right into her arms.

“Hi honey. How was school?”

“Great! The teachers gave us a rundown of what we’d miss Friday and Monday, and they’ll give us until Thursday to catch up on it.”

Kelly smiled as she stepped closer. “Just don’t think too hard about it while we’re there. This is as much a vacation as a field trip. Where are the others anyway?”

“Nikki’s saying goodbye to Lisa and Trent, and Ally’s saying goodbye to Mark,” I answered, shooting her a knowing smile. The last thing I saw of Allison, Mark had nervously hugged her, and she had leaned up to kiss his cheek. I left to give them some privacy. “Jen should be here in just a sec-” I started, but squealed when I felt a pair of icy fingers on the back of my neck. I spun around even as I heard Jennifer giggling.

“Sorry. I couldn’t help myself. Anyway, Grandpa says he’ll be here soon.”

“It’s fine. We still have to wait for the busses to leave before ours can pull in anyway.”

“So, are you excited?” Margie asked. Jennifer and I both nodded.

“I just hope I still remember how to do this.”

“Oh, bah,” I laughed at her false modesty, giving her a playful elbowing. “You’ve probably forgotten more than the rest of us will ever know!”

“Yeah, that’s true,” she shot back with a teasing smile. “But don’t worry; between Grandpa and me, you’ll be skiing like pros in no time. Or, at least you’ll be able to stand up without sliding everywhere.”

“So Margie, have you ever been skiing?” Jennifer asked. Margie shook her head.

“I’m a Cali girl, remember?”

“Yeah, and I’m half-Hawaiian, but I still love to ski!” she shot back playfully. I laughed.

“She’s got you there.”

Margie stuck her tongue out. “Oh, don’t you start too. You’re supposed to defend me! Anyway, I’ve been mountain biking, hiking, I even went bungee jumping once, and believe me once was enough! But I’ve never been skiing.”

Jennifer giggled. “I’m sorry, but I just cannot picture you bungee jumping. Anyway, Grandpa, Coach Greer and I will be on-hand as well as the professional instructors so it won’t be too bad. What about you Kelly?”

As the conversation drifted, I started gathering our things from Mom’s car. I gave her another warm hug and a kiss on her cheek just before we left to join the gathering of scouts waiting for our bus. Unlike with Girl Scout camp, we didn’t have girls from surrounding districts.

This trip was independently planned by our own troop, so we only needed a single bus even with several adults coming along to help with the chaos. As well, not every girl was able to go, especially among the younger girls whose parents didn’t feel comfortable letting them go.

Allison, Jennifer, Nicole and I found four empty seats together, and as we settled in, Coach Greer stood at the front, calling each girl’s name, laying down ground rules for both the bus ride and the flight, and reminding everyone that if there was a problem, that they could come to one of us in addition to the adults.

As she sat down, I peeked around the seat in front of me to see Margie and Kelly sitting together a few rows up with Jennifer’s grandfather. I had to giggle to myself. No doubt embarrassing stories would be shared. For the moment though, I settled back into my seat. Nicole smiled as she squeezed my hand, tilting her head slightly to nuzzle my shoulder.

“I hope you don’t mind flying First Class again,” she whispered. I had to stifle my giggle, shaking my head.

“Of course I don’t mind. Are you sure your parents are okay with the extra expense though?”

“Totally. It was their suggestion actually.”

Allison leaned forward to grin at us. “I tried to argue my way out of it, but they insisted.”

Jennifer shook her head. “Not me!” She laughed, mock-relaxing with her hands behind her head. Allison and Nicole grinned at each other and goosed her sides in unison, causing her to squeal as she jumped. “Hey!” she laughed.

I just shook my head, giggling to myself. This time tomorrow we’d be in the mountains, hitting the slopes, and I’d probably be finding some way to humiliate myself. It was so, totally worth it.

~oOo~

“Robin?” Nicole whispered in my ear. I stirred in my window seat. She giggled, kissing my cheek. “Robin, babe. Wake up. We’re about to land,” she continued. I yawned as I slid one eye open.

“How long was I asleep?”

“About thirty minutes,” she answered with a quiet giggle as she squeezed my hand.

“Sorry. It’s these cushy chairs. Puts me right to sleep.”

“Yeah, I remember,” she answered thoughtfully. “I just assumed last time it was because you were exhausted though.”

Allison sat forward, staring over at us. “I don’t know how you guys can stand it. I mean, the seat’s nice, but the service is … overwhelming. It just feels wrong.”

Nicole laughed. “Now you get why my folks act the way they do. Even with their big house and the nice cars and all, when it comes right down to it they don’t like being waited on hand and foot any more than I do.”

Jennifer, one row up, raised her glass of soda. “That’s why I love your parents Nikki.”

Later, as we were collecting our bags, Tracy approached us. “I wondered where you guys were.”

I picked up my suitcase, turning back to offer a sheepish smile. “Nikki’s parents insisted on buying all our tickets. For what it’s worth I slept, like, half the trip.”

She rolled her shoulders, waving her hand dismissively. “I’m only teasing. The REAL reason I came over is … is it true you’ve really never been skiing? I mean, I know you said as much before, and don’t take this the wrong way or anything but… you’re kind of…”

“What?”

She bit her lip. “Perfect.”

“Ugh. Tracy, I am so not perfect.”

“You’re an up-and-coming Queen of the school. Not that it’s a bad thing. It’d just be nice to see you fall on your butt once in awhile — no offense.”

I had to giggle. “None taken. You obviously didn’t come to my last basketball game. My shoelaces came undone and … Well it’s a long story.”

She stifled a giggle and smiled. “I’m sorry, Robin. I didn’t come all the way over here just to insult you. Actually I didn’t mean to insult you at all. It’s just … I’m really nervous now that we’re actually here, you know?”

I smiled as I took her hand, pulling her into a light hug. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m a hard person to offend. I mean, you know the deal with Jason. Anyway, you have absolutely nothing to worry about.”

She smiled a little more. “You sure sound confident of that.”

At that point, Jennifer and her grandfather approached. I nodded, motioning toward them. “That’s because we have the two best ski instructors in Hawaii with us.”

She gave them both a puzzled stare at my comment, and they both started laughing, Kaleo speaking up as he offered his hand to her. “I’m Kaleo Mahalei, Jennifer’s grandfather. I usually prefer surfing to skiing, but I can shred a mean snowboard.”

“Oh! I’m Tracy. I saw you on the bus earlier, but I didn’t realize… You guys will be giving lessons?”

He nodded. “Don’t worry, Tracy. We’ll have you flying down those drifts like a pro in no time.”

“Besides,” I added, “just think of the cute guys you’ll be winning over in the lodge this weekend. They can’t ALL be college frat boys.”

Her eyes lit up at that. “I love the way you think.”

“C’mon, let’s go join the others. You can sit with us if you want.”

I met up with Margie and Kelly first, and then we joined the rest of our troop-plus-chaperones. Coach Greer took a final head-count before we boarded our chartered bus for the long ride to the mountain hotel ski resort. It felt weird, knowing that in less than an hour we’d be at the ski resort, living it up.

It would be too late for a proper run, but we could at least hang out, find ourselves some proper equipment, and maybe learn a little more of the mountain’s history, to say nothing of meeting a few of the locals, and as we rolled slowly closer, I started to notice the snow growing heavier and heavier. The roads of course were kept clean and clear, but I’d never seen so much snow in one place as covered the landscape.

Finally, some hour and a half later we arrived at the ski resort. The hotel lobby, despite having a semi-rustic appearance on the outside, appeared ultra-modern on the inside, with polished hardwood floors, rich, dark wall paneling and big cushy chairs and sofas for guests to relax and mingle. It certainly didn’t match my mental images of what a ski lodge would look like, but this was just a place for us to check in and get our room keys, so it didn’t really matter.

“Once you girls are settled in,” Kaleo began, “I’ll take you to meet Jonathan, the owner of the local sporting goods store. He’s an old friend of mine, and I’m sure he’ll give you a group discount on any rentals for the weekend,” he added with a broad grin. We cheered in unison, though we at least did make an effort to keep our voices down for the other customers checking in.

“This is so cool!” Allison bubbled as we headed for the elevator. The four of us had been paired up to a room without a chaperone so that the adults could be spaced out more evenly with the girls, save Kaleo of course, who checked himself in with a small single room.

“And you haven’t even met Jonathan yet,” Jennifer answered. “He’s totally not what you’d expect from someone who owns the most successful sporting goods store on the mountain, but trust me, he knows his stuff.”

After we had taken care of our suitcases and put our coats and other winter accessories away, our entire group met back in the lobby. Kaleo advised that we should split off into two groups, so anyone who wanted to go ahead and eat dinner now could go with Coach Greer, while the rest could come with him, which ultimately just left the four of us and Tracy.

We followed Kaleo down another hall to a large sign above a set of glass double-doors with high-polished brass handles. The sign declared it “Jon’s Ski Supply”, but even without the sign, we could see through the glass doors row upon row of skis, poles and snowboards in assorted colors and sizes. He pulled the door open, stepping to the side to let us go on ahead.

Behind a counter at the back of the store stood a small-framed man with short, curly black hair. Between the business suit and the wire-frame glasses, I had to wonder if this could possibly be the equipment expert Kaleo mentioned. I didn’t have long to wonder, as he glanced up, sizing us up for only a split second before stepping around the counter.

He and Kaleo approached each other and seemed to be staring each other down. Finally, the man cracked a smile, causing Kaleo to laugh as the two embraced.

“It’s good to see you old friend,” the man offered warmly. “And who’s this? Jennifer?”

Jennifer nodded, grinning. “Hey ‘uncle’ Jon,” she answered, stepping closer for a hug. She turned and motioned to us. “These are my friends Ally, Nikki, Robin and Tracy.” Tracy smiled sheepishly as she waved. “You’ll be meeting the rest of the girls later, but right now it’s just us.”

“The rest?” he asked skeptically.

Kaleo nodded with a grin. “I’m here helping chaperone Jenny’s Girl Scout troop on their first ski trip. Some of these girls have never even stood on a pair of skis before.”

Jonathan chuckled to himself as he turned to face us. “Well, I’ll get you set up with the best gear I have. I assume you’re just renting?”

Kaleo nodded. “For now. I’ll need a good board for myself and Jenny too, but we’ll be giving ski instructions so if you have anything…”

“Ah, say no more. I just got a shipment of Blue Majestic boards in this morning, and you know their skis are top-notch. Come on over here and I’ll get you set up with some boots, then we’ll take care of the skis and goggles. Since you’re here with a group I’ll give you the special discount.”

While Jonathan took Nicole and Allison first, I started wandering the equipment racks. I really wanted to learn to ski before even thinking about snowboarding, which meant it wouldn’t be happening this trip, but as I passed by a really nice-looking decal on a dark purple board, I had to stop and look.

“Nice isn’t it?” Jennifer spoke up, causing me to jump. She giggled. “It’s the Blue Majestic line. The guy who makes them is actually an ex-surfer. He still makes boards sometimes, but his specialty is snowboards and skis these days.”

“Oh, I just thought it was pretty,” I admitted with a sheepish smile, half-expecting her to laugh at me.

She grinned instead. “Me too; that’s what I like about Blues. The guy’s daughter’s only thirteen, but she does the master print for all his decals. C’mon, you and I are up. Just say the word if you want to learn to ‘board though.”

I shook my head as I followed her back. “I figured I’d learn to do one before attempting the other.”

She smiled as she answered, “I suppose you have to learn to swim before you can learn to surf, but to be honest, boarding and skiing only share the snow in common. You depend on your lower body strength more for the skis than the board, I think. I can show you both, and then you can decide what you want to focus on this weekend if you’d like.”

“Really? That would be great.”

“Great!” she replied. “Hey, Jon, she said yes!” she giggled.

“Excellent! Since you’re such a close personal friend of Kal’s, I’ll throw in the board for the cost of the skis,” he added.

My jaw dropped. “Wait, what? Seriously?”

He smiled as he nodded. “Anyone who’s as enthusiastic about the sport as you girls have been deserves a chance to try out both. Now, just slip your shoe off and put your foot here.”

~oOo~

Later that evening, after Jennifer had gone to each room to give some basic instructions to get everyone ready for our ‘official’ instruction in the morning, we laid about in various states of undress from fully clothed to me, all warm and cozy in my pajamas and bath robe. In the morning, we would all head out, probably split off into groups for those just learning while the others made their first runs up the mountain.

Both Moira and Kelly had already made their rounds for the evening, and it was getting late. I pulled back the covers and nestled down just as Nicole stepped out of the bathroom in her pajamas, and, sitting on the bed beside me, leaned down to kiss my cheek. I smiled as I pulled her into a hug, returning the chaste gesture.

“G’night cutie,” she whispered sleepily.

“Sweet dreams, vampire,” I answered, equally exhausted.

~* Winter Wonderland *~ I turned back to stare at Nicole. She knew exactly what I was thinking, lightly placing her fingertip on the tip of my nose. “Don’t say it.” She grinned. “In a tree? Seriously?” “I said!” she giggled. “Seriously, you do not want to know.” “Oh, I really do, but I won’t ask,” I replied. She rolled her eyes at that, but smiled. “Thanks. It’s really embarrassing. Lucky for me Brandy was the only one who saw it. Want some hot chocolate?” she asked, changing the subject.

---

Author's Note:
I'm trying something different with length this time, harkening back to Book One's style to try and get more out of each scene, rather than covering multiple scenes per chapter. ^_^

~Zoe

---

I couldn’t say for certain if it was the excitement for the weekend’s events, or maybe that I took a nice long nap during the trip, but once I awoke, I couldn’t get back to sleep again. Twilight and a crisp, moonlit sky outside the hotel window only confirmed what the obnoxiously bright alarm clock on the bedside table suggested. The sun, and probably the rest of my Girl Scout troop, would be asleep for another hour or two at least.

Turning the bright 5:02-blaring face of the clock away from me, I slowly crawled out of bed. To keep from waking the others I took my suitcase into the bathroom to change, out of my pajamas. I could always put on some heavier clothing when we actually went outside, but for now I opted for the more indoor-friendly jeans and a loose white sweater.

Since there was no way I could get back to sleep, and not for a lack of trying, I decided to wander around the hotel for a little while, and maybe find an early breakfast before the others were up and around.

“You’re up early,” Moira commented idly as she stepped out of the room across the hall. I smiled sheepishly as I approached her.

“I couldn’t sleep so I figured I’d wander around, maybe find something to eat.” I held up a crisp ten dollar bill that I had snagged from my purse on the way out, offering a smile. “You want to come with? My treat?”

She smiled thoughtfully for a moment before she nodded. “Sure.”

She reached out to lightly tousle my hair, and as we walked down the long hallway together, I decided to take the initiative and break the mutual silence that had settled between us.

“So how are things with you and Regina?”

“Slow, but I’m not complaining,” she responded. She had an odd sort of half-smile across her lips that belied her words. “How’s school?”

“Hectic,” I replied simply. “There’s just so much going on between basketball, girl scouts and the school paper, plus I’m taking gym next semester, and I might run track. The drama club wants me to consider going out for a play, and then there’s Kenpo-”

“Ken-what?” she interrupted me as we turned to step into the elevator lobby.

“Kenpo — it’s a form of Karate,” I replied. She smiled a bit and nodded.

A large blueprint-like map hung from the wall between the two elevators, its color-coded blocks indicating room layout for the current floor, as well as a list of points of interest. “Sounds like you’re keeping busy,” she mused as she studied the map, adding a moment later, “Looks like there’s a restaurant down on first. Good thing too ‘cause I wasn’t too keen on ordering room service and waking everybody else.”

I nodded in agreement as she pushed the button to call the elevator. While we waited, she began to give me an odd stare, and when I looked back at her, she spoke up again, more softly this time.

“Robin, I talked to your sister last night after everyone else went to bed. She said you’re studying music now too?”

I smiled as I nodded. “Yeah! Kelly’s giving me some basic piano lessons. I’d love to get a keyboard or something eventually: maybe even for Christmas,” I added enthusiastically.

“That’s great,” she answered, though she sounded vastly less enthusiastic. Actually, she had been acting like something was bothering her from the moment we met outside our rooms this morning. I waited until after we boarded the elevator to ask, though.

“Moira? Is everything alright?”

She exhaled slowly. “Yes and no. I mean, there’s something I wanna say to you, but we hardly know each other. I don’t really feel like it’s my place.”

She lowered her gaze and turned slightly away, leaning against the wall with another slow sigh. I stepped closer, gently nudging her chin with my hand to bring her gaze back to mine.

“Moira, whatever it is, you can tell me.” I tried to give her a reassuring smile. She chewed her lip as the elevator slowly descended, finally answering.

“I’m worried about you is all. You’ve got so much going on, and speaking from experience, it really starts to wear on you after awhile.”

“Why did you come back anyway? I mean, I know things were rocky with your band-mates, but why not go back to your family?”

She laughed dryly as the doors parted, shaking her head. “When I left home I swore I’d never return. That rock can rot for all I care.” She buried her hands in her pockets as she stepped off the elevator, glancing back at me as I followed.

“What you have in Alpine Springs is … It’s something I never had. It’s not a slow existence by any means, but it’s slower than what I’m used to.” Her gaze fell again, but quickly rose, the beginnings of a cheerful smile crossing her lips.

“I told you things with Regina were slow, yeah? The thing is, she wants to take it slow, and so do I. I’m so tired of rushing about, constantly on the move. I needed to unwind, else I was about to have a nervous breakdown, and that’s the Saints’ honest truth.” She removed a hand from her pocket, taking mine and giving it a light squeeze. “Do you get what I’m saying?”

“You think I should slow down and stop trying to do so much, don’t you?” I asked, returning the squeeze. She smiled as she nodded, pulling her hand away only long enough to wrap her arm around my neck. She leaned forward and planted a chaste, sisterly kiss on my forehead.

“Listen, I don’t mean anything by it, and like I said, I don’t really feel like it’s my place to say anything, but I know what it did to me, constantly doing something, never allowing myself time to relax. I did it because I was running from something though. You’re not are you?”

I quickly shook my head. “No, it’s nothing like that. It’s just … Well, before this year I never really had any friends. I never had any drive to really do anything, but then I met Ally and Nikki, and later Jen, and things just sort of started happening.”

“You’re lucky to have them, and they’re lucky to have you. Just be careful okay? I don’t want to see you fall into the same pit I did. It’s good that you don’t want to be inactive, but believe me there’s such a thing as too much of a good thing.”

“Like wine?” I teased, as we started down the hall toward our destination again. She stared at me, sticking her tongue out.

“Oh, hush you!” She grinned, giving my shoulder a playful, light slug. “I’ve been dry since that day I swore off the stuff though. I meant what I said about givin’ it up. My Da was a sober man, but my Mum drank herself to a stupor. I don’t wanna end up like her. But c’mon now, let’s talk about something happier. This is a vacation!”

~oOo~

I am not ashamed to admit that I ate like a pig! I had been too tired to really eat much the night before, and I would probably be exerting a lot of energy using muscles I wasn’t used to using, so I let myself eat more than I normally would, just this once. I thought about my eating habits entirely too much, though the goings-on with Elaine probably didn’t help that.

Later in the morning, after everyone had come down for breakfast, Coach Greer asked the nice lady at the front desk if we could use their lobby as a base of operations. Essentially what that meant was that we commandeered the sofas and chairs, and the surrounding floor space with our backsides so we could discuss our plans for the day. I sat on one sofa between Jennifer and Nicole, with Amanda on my lap.

“So here’s the plan,” Coach Greer, the only person not sitting, began, “We’re going to split off into groups obviously, but first I need to know how many of you feel comfortable enough to pass on instruction.”

A few girls raised their hands. She nodded, continuing. “Alright, so most of you are new to this, then. That’s fine. You four will be with me for the morning — and by ‘with me’, I mean I trust you to behave yourselves and follow the rules, but if there’s a problem I’ll be either at the top of one of the trails, or at the bottom.”

“There are also ski patrols scattered across the mountain,” Jennifer added. Coach Greer nodded.

“That’s an excellent point, Jennifer. Ski patrol members are easy to identify and tend to travel in pairs or groups, though you might see a lone member on a snowmobile too. Alright, are there any questions? Then let’s get our gear and head out.”

Moira stood, waving her hand lightly. “I’ll be hanging out on the easier slopes myself.”

Nicole shot her a glance. “Hey, I didn’t know you could ski?”

She smiled sheepishly as she replied, “Well, kind of. We took a vacation in Aspen last winter. I nearly broke my leg when I ran into a tree though so I’m taking it slow this time.” She winked at me at that, and Coach Greer turned her attention to her daughter.

Amanda beamed a smile at me then hopped off my lap before Coach Greer could say anything. “Mommy’s taking me skiing!” she giggled excitedly. I had to laugh as I wrapped her in a hug.

“You have fun out there, and I’ll see you later today, okay? I still need to learn how to not fall down.” I winked, causing her to giggle again as she skipped over to Coach Greer.

Jennifer stood, motioning for the rest of us to follow her. “Let’s go get our gear and we can head out. Oh, do NOT forget to wear your helmet!” she quickly added. “I know in the movies you see people skiing or snowboarding with just a hat, but you’ll thank me when your head’s not cracked open like a ripe melon.”

As we all stood to follow her, Tracy asked, “So who’s learning to ‘board besides me?”

Jennifer grinned, glancing back at me. “Robin, Ally, and I think Margie?”

My sister nodded. “Yeah, I’ll take your grandfather up on a skiing lesson tomorrow I think.”

Kelly added a moment later, “And likewise I’ll be hitting Jen up for snowboarding lessons tomorrow.”

~oOo~

To my surprise, Jonathan actually let me rent the purple board I had been eyeing the night before. He explained that the balance would actually be better for a beginner to get used to, and that since Jennifer had vouched for my potential due to my martial arts training, that he had no problem giving me a chance on a high-end board.

As we left the hotel behind, I had my newly rented snowboard under my arm, knee, elbow, and wrist guards over my ski pants and jacket, and a helmet in my other hand. I admit I did feel a little silly with all the safety gear, but Jennifer wore similar protection, so she obviously knew what she was talking about.

“Hey ladies,” a suave male voice called from behind us shortly after we split off from the others. An older boy, I’d guess about seventeen or eighteen, dressed in a black ski jacket and pants and carrying a bright, neon green snowboard approached us. He smiled genuinely, but I still expected a corny pick-up line. Surprisingly, he simply asked, “Been up the mountain yet?”

Jennifer shook her head. “Not yet. I’m teaching my friends how to ‘board, then tomorrow we’ll tackle skiing. How’s the powder?”

“Fresh and fine,” he answered with a broad grin. “It’s choice right now. A little rough in patches, but they’ve got the trails marked. Hey, if you need any help with the lesson, I’m free for an hour or so.”

Tracy grinned as she stepped closer. “Sounds good to me! I’m Tracy by the way,” she offered her hand. He shifted his board to his other hand so he could shake hers.

“Scott. Nice to meet’cha Tracy.”

After introducing ourselves, Jennifer and Scott led us to an area with a nice, even slope. Jennifer set her black snowboard down and, after strapping her boots to it, looked back at us with a grin. “Okay, I just want to get a quick feel for the slope before I send you guys blindly careening downhill. Hang out here a second.”

She pulled her helmet into place, hopped, and took off at a gentle glide down the hill. At the bottom she stepped off her board, trudging back up again. She approached me, stepping around behind and giving me a light shove. I instinctively put my right foot forward, glancing back at her. She grinned.

“Awesome. Robin’s a goofy foot.”

“Hey!” I started to protest, but she giggled, shaking her head. Seeing as she was too busy giggling to answer, Scott, barely maintaining a straight face himself, spoke for her.

“What she means is that you’re probably more comfortable leading with your right foot than your left. You can try it both ways and do whatever feels more natural, but a little shove when you aren’t expecting it is a great way to gauge it.”

With that said, he stepped up behind Tracy, giving her the same light shove from behind. She squealed lightly, planting her left foot forward and giggled. “So what does it mean when you lead with your left foot?”

He chuckled to himself. “Left is just called ‘regular’. There’s really no difference other than comfort, especially once you start doing the crazy jumps.”

I couldn’t help wondering if Jennifer had met her match in Scott, at least in the extreme sports. He seemed like a decent enough guy, and even helped me strap into my board for my first run. After further instruction on how to steer while in motion, and more importantly how to stop, I started down the slope. For about the first five seconds, I actually wasn’t doing too badly.

After that point though, things took a turn for the worse. I could feel myself picking up more speed than I was ready for or expecting from such a gentle slope, and I panicked, turning too hard. The next thing I knew, I was lying face-first in snow with about a three to five foot trail behind me where I skidded to a stop. Jennifer suddenly appeared next to me, offering her hand as I pushed myself up. I knocked the snow from my helmet and stared at her. She giggled.

“Are you okay?”

I grabbed her hand, pulling myself to my knees and then upright again. I quickly nodded. “I panicked,” I offered sheepishly. She nodded.

“I noticed. You were actually doing pretty well for a first-timer. You have to relax though. It’s like riding a bike. If you pick up too much speed, you stop pedaling, but you don’t slam on the brake.” She gave me that Zen smile she did so well as I knelt to unstrap my boots. I picked up my board, motioning with my other hand toward the top of the hill.

“I think I’d like to try that again.”

“Sure,” she responded with a giggle.

Tracy and Allison actually fared much better all in all. I took comfort in the fact that Margie couldn’t seem to stay upright either, though her topple was vastly less dramatic. She made it all the way to the bottom before stumbling backwards as she bent down to unstrap her boots.

By mid-morning I had started to actually get the hang of it. Keeping my balance on a board really wasn’t all that far from keeping my body centered while practicing a defensive throw. Once I managed to stop panicking constantly, I also stopped upending myself into snow banks. I was vastly far from ready for anything beyond easy slopes, but I’d take victories where I could find them!

~oOo~

By around ten, we were all more than ready for a break. Besides the hotel, there was also a ski chalet closer to the base of the mountain. We found Margie and Kelly warming themselves inside, as well as Moira, Coach Greer, Amanda, and a couple of other girls from our troop. I didn’t see Nicole at first, but as we set foot further inside, I spotted her coming out of the public restroom. She grinned as she rushed over, wrapping me in a hug.

“Hey you! I saw you out there with Jen earlier. You were great!”

I giggled as I held her close, touching my nose with hers playfully for just a moment. “Oh, please. It was all I could do to keep from eating snow — again. How was the skiing?”

“Awesome. Kaleo’s a great instructor. Oh hey, I wanted to introduce you to someone.” She gently looped my arm with hers, pulling me along over to the small bar along one wall where a taller girl with messy, sandy brown hair sat sipping a cup of hot cocoa. She turned on her barstool, lifting her mug as we approached.

“So you’re Robin. Nikki’s been talking about you all morning. I’m Brandy,” she spoke warmly as she offered her free hand.

“Nice to meet you,” I replied as Nicole grinned.

“Brandy helped me out when one of my poles sort of got stuck in a tree.”

“How did-” I began, but she shook her head.

“Trust me, you do not want to know,” Nicole replied. Brandy, stifling a small chuckle, shook her head.

“You really don’t. It’s not that it was IN the tree anyway, so much as caught in a root. It could’ve been worse though.”

Nicole nodded quickly. “Yeah. I mean, that tree totally jumped out in front of me!”

Brandy’s eyes lit up as she looked toward the door. I followed her gaze, a bit surprised to see Scott again. He gave me a cordial nod, but when he reached us, Brandy hopped down off her barstool, wrapping her arms around him. They exchanged a brief kiss before she smiled back at us.

“And this is my boyfriend, Scott. Scott, this is Nikki and-”

“Robin,” he answered with a grin. “Yeah, we met this morning while you were helping your mom up on the mountain.”

She practically giggled. “Weird. I helped Nikki with a little ski pole problem earlier. Freaky coincidence. Anyway, c’mon, I’m hungry, and it’s your turn to buy.”

“It’s always my turn to buy,” he shot back with a playful smile as they walked away.

I turned back to stare at Nicole. She knew exactly what I was thinking, lightly placing her fingertip on the tip of my nose. “Don’t say it.” She grinned.

“In a tree? Seriously?”

“I said!” she giggled. “Seriously, you do not want to know.”

“Oh, I really do, but I won’t ask,” I replied. She rolled her eyes at that, but smiled.

“Thanks. It’s really embarrassing. Lucky for me Brandy was the only one who saw it. Want some hot chocolate?” she asked, changing the subject.

I had to laugh just a little bit as I nodded. After getting our beverages I followed her to a well-worn overstuffed sofa near the chalet’s hearth. We naturally settled in close to each other as we stared at the fire, and it was all I could do just to stay awake. She smiled as she wrapped an arm around me, and I settled a little closer, putting my head on her shoulder.

“This was a great idea,” she spoke softly. By now the rest of the world had begun to melt into the background. I smiled back at her as I leaned up to plant a light kiss on her cheek.

“Yeah, it’s nice and cozy here.”

“No, I mean the trip. And this is only the first day.”

“Yeah. Hey, Nikki, can I ask you something?” My talk with Moira had been replaying in my mind all morning, when I wasn’t faceplanting in various and excessive styles of failure to stop or turn properly. She glanced down at me and nodded.

“Sure. What’s on your mind?”

“I’ve been thinking. I had a long talk with Moira this morning. She thinks I’m overexerting myself.”

“How so?” she asked, tilting her head slightly.

“Well, I mean with extracurricular activities at school. First there was Girl Scouts, and Kenpo, the school paper, basketball, music, thinking about drama club, gym next semester, cheer this summer, and thinking about running track, AND I’m taking almost all advanced placement courses this semester on top of that.”

Nicole frowned as she shook her head. “Jeeze, Robin. When you put it like that, maybe you should slow down a little.”

I smiled at that. “I think I’m going to skip track next semester and maybe drama too. Writing for the school paper is no big deal right now. I’m just answering e-mails once a week, basically, and basketball season will be over in January so I’ll have more free time.”

“Free time is good, and I’m not just saying that because it means more time for us to hang out, either.” She gave me a playful smile before continuing. “Everybody needs some downtime. I mean, look at Moira. She’s this huge rock star, and yet she came all the way back here to get away from that lifestyle for awhile. Truth be told I’ve been worried about you lately. I just didn’t want to say anything because you seemed so happy.”

“I’m sorry Nikki. I didn’t mean to make you worry,” I offered, nuzzling a little closer. She leaned over to steal a quick kiss, shaking her head.

“It’s okay. I’m your friend as well as your girlfriend. It’s my job to worry about you,” she reasoned. “But I’m glad you’re ready to slow down a little bit too.” She rested her head gently against mine.

“I love that you want to help people. I just don’t want you to lose yourself in the process. C’mon, I want to hit the slopes again before lunch, plus you look sexy on a snowboard,” she teased, grinning impishly.

~* Who’s That Lady? *~ “You don’t have to,” Nicole offered. “Tracy’s okay with everything. Really.” “No, I want to tell her,” Moira replied. “I don’t mind a handful of people knowing. I just need to know that you can keep it a secret.” Tracy slowly nodded. “Yeah, I guess so.” She paused briefly though. “Wait… I DO know you!”

---

Ski lessons with Jennifer were almost as much fun as snowboarding had been, and I admit I tried really hard to get into it, but after getting used to the rush, trying to use poles and balance on skis just felt kind of awkward.

Still, I toughed it out. When Jennifer asked which I preferred, I told her I found boarding more fun, to which she smiled and said ‘Let’s head back to the hotel and get your board!’

“Hey there you are!” Nicole called cheerfully as we passed the ski lodge. Jennifer and I both stopped, turning back, and I caught her in a hug. She looked so adorable with her hair in a tight braid, her ski goggles resting snugly on her forehead. She smiled brightly.

“Hey Nikki. How was your lesson with Grandpa?”

“It was awesome!” Nicole replied. “How’d the ski lesson go? You didn’t get your poles stuck in a tree or anything did you?” she asked, giving me a sly grin. I giggled.

“No, but I think I still prefer snowboarding. I still plan on learning to ski eventually, but for this weekend I’m going to stick with what’s fun.”

“That’s the spirit!” Jennifer chided playfully.

“Darn right she is,” Nicole teased, adding, “Oh hey, have you seen Moira?”

“I think she’s on one of the more advanced trails,” Jennifer answered. “I bumped into her as I was heading to the bathroom this morning, and she said something about going to clear her head.”

“Uh oh,” I offered. Nicole nodded.

“My thoughts exactly. Let’s go find her. I’ll go get Ally,” Nicole stated.

“Meet us back at the hotel lobby. Robin and I are just going to go exchange her skis, and I want to get my rental board too.” Her expression seemed all-too-serious as she reasoned, “If we’re going to be cutting the hard trails, I want to do it with what I’m more comfortable with.”

We found Tracy hanging out with a couple of other girls in the hotel lobby. When she saw us enter, she stood, hurrying over to us.

“Hey guys, um, have you seen your friend Moira? I wanted to apologize.”

Jennifer and I looked at each other, and back at her. She sighed as she cast her gaze downward and shook her head. “I opened my big mouth again.”

“What happened?” I asked gently. She obviously seemed upset, and I didn’t want to make it worse. Moira was my friend, but honestly, I liked Tracy too.

She bit her lip. “I was talking to another girl about her. I mean, it just seemed kind of strange to me that she passed the background check and stuff, and yet none of us has ever heard of her before.” She glanced back over her shoulder to see the other girls she had been chatting with had scattered. She frowned, glancing back at us. “And that accent, where is she from anyway?”

“Ireland, originally, but she’s moving to New Haven,” I answered simply, giving her a chance to continue.

“Ah. Well, obviously you know more about her than I do. Anyway, I said it seemed kinda weird, and then I turned around and there she was.”

“Oh dear,” Jennifer offered softly. Tracy nodded, continuing.

“Yeah, you can say that again. She said she was sorry that she couldn’t tell me how she knew you guys, and that if I wanted she’d leave. She said she didn’t want to ruin anyone’s fun.” Tracy sighed, and I could see the beginnings of tears in her eyes. I instinctively stepped closer, pulling her into a hug, and she smiled a little as she rested her head on my shoulder. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it, I swear.”

“Tracy, it’s okay,” I tried to comfort her. “Moira’s a complicated woman in a complex situation, and at first she didn’t even want to come with us. She was worried about what people might think.”

Jennifer placed a hand on Tracy’s shoulder as she smiled. “That’s why she’s been rooming with Robin’s sister Margie, letting Kelly and Coach Greer swap off on staying with the younger girls while us older girls get our own rooms like we have. It was the only way she’d agree to come.”

“Wow, that so doesn’t help,” Tracy sighed, shaking her head. “I feel like such a jerk.”

“We’re going to go look for her after I exchange my skis, if you want to go with us?” I offered. She looked at me, taking a step back.

“You’d … let me go with you?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

She shook her head slowly at that, and started to laugh. “No, never mind. I already opened my mouth twice this trip. I’m not making it a third time. I’m sorry Robin. I guess I’m just a poor judge of character.” She smiled meekly.

I shook my head. “Nobody’s perfect, and there’s no harm done. Now, come on. I’m sure Moira’s okay, but we’re going to go find her to be sure.”

“So can I ask how you guys DO know her?” she asked as we turned to head for the sporting goods store. As if choreographed by the Fates themselves, Nicole answered from behind us without missing a beat as she and Allison entered.

“Know who?”

“Eek!” Tracy squeaked, causing Nicole to giggle. Her cheeks flushed as she cleared her throat. “Moira.”

“Oh, she’s my adopted sister,” Nicole stated proudly. That caught us off-guard, myself included. I knew Nicole and Moira had some things in common, but where had that come from? Nicole smiled at the obvious confusion on our faces, continuing.

“Look, you guys all know Bob and Gina aren’t my real parents, but they taught me that you don’t have to be biologically related to someone to adopt them as family.”

Tracy started chewing her lip again. “Nikki, I’m sorry. I-I didn’t know,” she practically whispered. Nicole blinked at her, and as we walked to Jonathan’s store together, we helped Tracy to relate to Nicole and Allison what she had told us.

I made certain to point out that it wasn’t Tracy’s fault or intention to offend Moira, that she was only curious, both for Tracy’s benefit, and for Nicole and Allison’s. The last thing we needed was another misunderstanding right now.

Just before we entered the store, Nicole pulled Tracy aside, they exchanged a few brief words, and then Nicole wrapped her in a hug. When they returned, Tracy was smiling a little.

“It’s up to Moira if she wants to tell Tracy how we met,” Nicole began, “But I promise to help sort all this out otherwise.”

Tracy nodded in agreement. “And the first thing I do when we find her is apologize. I owe her that, even if it was just a big misunderstanding.”

~oOo~

Rather than just randomly skiing down trails, we got together again at the ski lodge where a map of the mountain hung prominently on one wall. Of course, a group of girls discussing multiple ski routes and who should take what route for safety reasons was bound to attract attention.

“Excuse me, girls. Sally Johnson. I’m with the ski patrol. Is there a problem?” A slender middle-aged woman with light brown hair in a French braid, wearing a red-and-black ski suit with a bright white cross embossed on the back approached us.

“Well, we’re not sure. We’re just worried about a friend. We’re out here on a Girl Scout-sponsored field trip, and…” I explained everything to her about how we talked Moira into coming along, and that we were mostly just concerned about that ‘clearing her head’ comment. She seemed confused by that at first, until I related the abridged version of how I’d gotten lost and hurt when I wandered off alone to ‘clear my head’ back in the summer, before I became a scout.

“I think I understand now,” she replied seriously. “I’d like to help. It sounds like you’re just worried for your friend, so I can put out a call to anyone on the mountain to keep an eye out for her.”

“That would be great!” I answered, the others nodding their silent agreement. “She’s of average height and build, shoulder-length sandy brown hair, and freckles. She’s wearing a black and navy blue ski suit.”

“And she’s using dark red skis. I can’t remember the brand though,” Allison added. Sally nodded.

“That narrows it down. I can take one of you out on my snowmobile if you want, that way if someone radios in I can get you to her a little faster.”

Allison glanced at me then smiled. “I’ll go. Robin, you’ve got way better balance than me. You’ll do better on your snowboard. Jen, you should check Widow’s Run. You’re the only one of us who can handle the turns and jumps.”

Jennifer grinned at that. “I was saving that for my final run of the weekend, but I can’t argue with your logic. I’ll get my Grandpa to come with me so I’m not alone. Tracy, you, Nikki and Robin should stick together too. With the ski patrol helping there’s no sense in splitting up and putting yourselves at risk.”

“Alright, let’s meet back here in an hour,” Sally replied, and with a smile she turned to stare at Nicole for just a moment. “My daughter said she helped out someone named Nikki yesterday.”

Nicole’s cheeks turned bright red as she grabbed my arm. “C’mon you two, let’s get to it.”

~oOo~

The hour really flew by quickly. Due to our limited skill and time spent carving a steady zig-zag down the few trails we actually felt competent enough to tackle, we only managed to cover two before it was time to meet back with Sally and the others. Her snowmobile sat parked outside the lodge when the three of us arrived.

Inside we found Moira sitting by the fireplace, chatting quietly with Jennifer, while Allison and Sally stood a bit further back. She looked up at us with a wry smile when we approached.

“Hi guys,” she offered softly.

“Moira!” Tracy squeaked. “I am so, so sorry!”

Moira shook her head, waving her hand dismissively. She and Jennifer both stood as she replied. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sorry for scaring you guys. Really, I’m okay. I just needed time to think about where my life’s going, and if I really want to keep living in secret like this.”

“W-what are you talking about?” Tracy asked hesitantly.

“I mean, I’m not just some random person Robin convinced to tag along, but I have only known them for a few months. Let’s find some place quiet though.”

“There’s a back office we use during emergencies. You can use it as long as you want, so long as nothing comes up in the meantime,” Sally offered with a smile.

Moira returned the smile and nodded. “Thank you. I don’t even know who you are, and yet you went to a lot of trouble to help the girls find me.”

Sally chuckled as she extended her hand. “That’s right. We were never properly introduced. I’m Sally Johnson. And don’t worry, helping them was no trouble. It’s part of my job, plus my daughter spoke highly of them.”

Sally then led us back to the back office. After opening the door, she gave us a professional smile. “You folks take care now. I need to head back up the mountain one last time. Just pull the door closed behind you when you’re done, and don’t hesitate to ask if you ever need anything again.”

“Thanks Sally,” I and the others offered to varying degrees before we stepped through, closing the door behind us. The office itself was actually more like a conference room with a large table and several chairs. Two maps of the mountain, one on the wall and one stretched over the table, were the only décor. A bank of radio equipment rested quietly in one corner, only occasionally springing to life with communications chatter from the ski patrol.

Moira exhaled as she sat at one of the chairs. As we joined her, she leaned forward, resting her chin against her hands. “Where to start? The most important thing is I want you guys to feel safe, comfortable. That’s why I was reluctant to agree to come along in the first place.”

Tracy nodded softly. “I’m… really sorry about all this.”

Moira quickly shook her head. “No, it’s okay. Jen explained everything when she caught up with me. I’m sorry I scared you guys, and I’m sorry I walked away like I did. Tracy you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I didn’t?” she asked softly, looking up.

“No, you didn’t. I overreacted because I had other things on my mind. I'm sorry.” She gave Tracy a reassuring smile. “My job requires that I live two separate lives. That’s just how it is. If I want job security, I have to be careful who I tell what I do for a living because the backlash would be a nightmare.”

“Oh God. You’re not an undercover cop are you?” Tracy asked nervously. “Or like, CIA or whatever the British version is?”

Moira giggled. “A spy? No, nothing like that. But that’s a great analogy though. The truth is … I can’t even believe I’m saying this,” she began.

“You don’t have to,” Nicole offered. “Tracy’s okay with everything. Really.”

“No, I want to tell her,” Moira replied. “I don’t mind a handful of people knowing. I just need to know that you can keep it a secret.”

Tracy slowly nodded. “Yeah, I guess so.” She paused briefly though. “Wait… I DO know you!”

Moira looked at her with surprise. “What?”

“Yeah! I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you sooner! Weren’t you at the music camp Nikki and I attended last summer? You know, the big one in New York!”

Nicole blinked, staring intently at Moira. “You WERE there! Ohmygawd. I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you myself!”

Moira smiled wryly. “Yeah, I was there. That was right after the incident with Kris. We were taking a break from touring, and I told our agent I needed some downtime away from the band, so he suggested I try my hand at teaching a course at a rock camp across the pond.”

“Your agent?” Allison asked nervously. “Is he the one Rose knocked out cold?”

Moira giggled. “Nono, that was our publicist. Well, former publicist. Anyway,” she reached across the table to offer Tracy her hand. “Moira Cameron, also known as Shadowfang of Heedless Despair, at your service.” She smiled.

Tracy squealed. “OHMYGOD! I LOVE you guys! But how… Why… I mean…” she fumbled.

Moira chuckled. “Deep breath, then try again.”

Tracy inhaled deeply, letting it out slowly. “Okay, why are you telling me all this, first of all?”

“You’re a friend of Robin’s, for starters, and you expressed a lot of concern about how I could just appear the way I did. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not telling you all this because I want you to feel star-struck and totally trust me. I’d be worried if you did, frankly.”

Tracy giggled as she nodded. “I guess that makes sense, but still… Freaking Shadowfang. You gave Nikki that sweet bass. I should’ve known you knew each other. Nikki doesn’t call people ‘sister’ lightly.”

Moira craned her neck to stare at Nicole, who responded with a sheepish smile. “Hey, I’m adopted. You’re as much my big sister as Bob and Gina are my parents.”

Moira smiled softly. “Nikki, that’s… that’s so sweet. I don’t know what to say,” she offered softly.

Allison smiled, “The thing is, Moira’s going to be living in New Haven for awhile, with Margie’s mom. It was Jennifer’s idea to try and talk her into coming along as a chaperone.”

Jennifer added, “Yeah, I expected we’d be seeing a lot more of her, and I thought it would be fun to try and get her involved as a Scout sponsor, to, y’know, provide a little taste of what civilian life is like.”

Moira laughed at that. “Civilian indeed. I’ll stick by the band. I mean, Jessica gave me a chance when nobody else would. I owe her so much, and I love music. I love performing and pretending to be some dark, spooky, mysterious chick, but it’s so nice to just be myself.”

Tracy smiled a bit at that. “So that tabloid article’s true then?”

Moira wrinkled her nose, but smiled. “You saw that, hey? Yeah, it’s true. I’m not really some powerful shadow sorceress. I just pawned my bass for thirty quid to pay rent. This crazy Brit walks in, sees my ratty old fallin’-apart bass on the counter. She smiles at me and says ‘Can you play that thing?’ and I say ‘Yeah, but it’s not mine anymore’. She says ‘prove it’.” She smiled fondly as she leaned back in her chair.

“To this day I don’t know what came over me. Maybe it was the twinkle in her eye, or the defiant smile. The shop owner says he’ll plug it in because he’s wondering if it’ll even work too, so I plugged it in, gave ‘em a few bars from Hendrix Experience's bass riffs, the next thing I know, I’m flyin’ to London to be part of a new band she’s putting together. That was two years ago. Of course, most fans are pretty rabid about NOT wanting to hear that story.” She grinned. “But I appreciate you girls indulging me. It’s nice to know the girl behind the black makeup’s not totally forgotten.”

Nicole smiled as she stood, leaning over to give her a hug. “Hey, I don’t call people ‘friend’ lightly, and I sure as heck don’t adopt them easily. I just feel like I can trust you.”

Before she could continue, the radio in the corner of the room sprang to life. “… confirmed missing, last seen in vicinity of Widow’s Run, white male approximately five feet, nine inches, average build.”

We looked at each other, Moira standing. “I believe that’s our cue to vacate.”

Tracy added as she stood. “Yeah. Listen, I’ll talk to the other girls I was talking to before and let them know you’re cool, that I was just being paranoid.”

Moira smiled as she pulled the door open for us. “Honestly, I’d be concerned if you weren’t. You were just looking out for your fellow scouts. I don’t know much about Girl Scouts. If we had ‘em back home I was never invited to join, but as far as I’m concerned, caring about others is a good quality to have, and I hope that never changes.”

I had to grin, wrapping an arm around Tracy’s waist as we stepped out. “I couldn’t agree more. Misunderstanding or not, you obviously care a lot more than you let on.”

“Yeah, well,” she blushed, smiling a bit. “I’ve been a scout since I was five. Most of our older girls quit when it stopped being ‘cool’, and I missed camp last summer because I broke my leg, but it’s in my blood. I want to be a Den Mother when I’m older. Just don’t tell anybody I said that. I’ve got a reputation to protect until after high school,” she added with a playful wink.

I giggled. “Our lips are sealed. Come on. Let’s head out for another run. The lodge is about to be overrun with ski patrol so we should get out of their way anyway.”

“You guys go ahead,” Jennifer offered. “I’m going to stay behind and see if I can help. I ran Widow’s Run earlier looking for Moira so it’s fresh in my mind. If you see my Grandpa send him over too.”

I smiled as I turned back to Jennifer. I wrapped her in a hug. “Good luck if you head out, and please be careful.”

She smiled as she nodded. “I won’t be going out unless they specifically ask me. They know the mountain better than I do. I’m just going to help coordinate with what I saw out on the trail. I’ll catch up with you guys later.”

It felt weird, leaving Jennifer behind to help coordinate with Search and Rescue, but weirder was how easily Moira opened up to Tracy. I think, in some way, it actually brought Tracy and me closer together as friends though.

She always felt just a little detached until now, like she was afraid to talk to me or something, but now maybe things would be different.