Hey everyone, I'm thinking everyone remembers me? Who knows. I wrote the book 'Dear Rylee' and I made an attempt to write the sequel which failed so miserably that I'm pretty sure it's a core memory now. So, where have I been? Let's start at the beginning. No, not the beginning, we already did that in Dear Rylee. Let's start a little over a year ago, and keep in mind that as I type this, I'm loaded up on so much pot my body could be a dispensary so I apologize if I say anything strange or if any of this doesn't make sense.

To make it all very simple, I made a horrific mistake that turned the entirety of the city I live in against me. The uh...mistake is that I had (past tense) a need to be forced to do domestic chores and like...had this housewife fantasy which I tried desperately to get to happen. So, to that effect, I talked to multiple people, well, dozens, possibly several dozen. Hell, maybe it was a stadium full. Unfortunately (or fortunately) people talk and well, I lost virtually everything. My standing in the community, my moderator status on the community board, many of my friends, and I found myself alone which triggered the event where I attempted to take my own life. The reasoning behind the suicide attempt was that through existing, I was hurting other people, and because of that, I didn't need to exist. I still hold this opinion but I've learned that there are people who rely on me and would be irreparably hurt if I were to die. So. Here I am.

The good news is, I found a way to exist. Following my GRS I paid close attention to my emotions and urges, and was able to work out a solution. With a cocktail of psych medication and practice, I've managed to nullify most of my emotions along with that pesky urge to do other people's housework. Do I feel empty? A bit, but christ it's better than being a monster.

Now on to the important part. About two months ago I presented to the emergency room with severe abdominal pain thinking I had food poisoning. When my roommate wheeled me into the ER I was barely conscious and I thought I was finally going to get my wish, but the doctors did their work and found it was my gall bladder. Following a ten hour surgery, they managed to remove most of it and when I woke up I was in the worst pain of my life. I was stuck in a hospital bed, I could barely move, I was hooked up to IV's, and I had no idea what had happened. It took a month of recovery and then some additional physical therapy before I was able to really walk again, and I'm lucky, extremely lucky that I had people willing to take care of me during that horrific time. My roommate stayed with me in the hospital and served as my power of attorney during the times I couldn't speak. While I was in the hospital I started work on Pawns of Bolin as soon as I was able to move my fingers, and with the way things are in the US right now, I feel it might be my last story.

I want to close this out by apologizing to the BC user base. I'm sorry that I was a monster to everyone, including the people here. I took site malfunctions personally, I whined about the lack of commenters, and threatened to stop writing if people didn't do more than leave Kudos. In hindsight, who the fuck did I think I was? I don't have much else to say other than I'm sorry, and going forward I'll try to do better. So here I am, at the end of an era writing what could be my last story and I plan to make it a good one. Enjoy Pawns of Bolin, and I'll try to enjoy being alive for the time being. Thank you everyone for your support over the years, and thank you for reading my work.

With love,

Rylee