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princess
you have piqued my interest
I think you have a chance to
I think you have a chance to do a better story than Princess Princess. That story didn't go far enough. I think like hormones and implants would ad to the story.
An interesting start
and I'll think I'll end up liking it. I can see this being possibly very neat. I already like Leslie. Just wondering was Ginger F. Mann an alum of the school?
Bailey Summers
Speaking of Ginger F. Mann...
Haven't seen a new G-Man story in a few years. Anybody know what happened to that formerly prolific author?
Well, I'm not familiar with
Well, I'm not familiar with Princess Princess, but this looks interesting! Why are the headmaster and Leslie so happy he agreed? Seems a little over the top, so there must be more to it! I'd love to see more.
Saless
"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America
Good start, I think it may
Good start, I think it may be fun story. I recognize you and the other authors with WIP's (works in progress) also have LIP's (lives in progress), and I thank you for your time and efforts.
cheech
Great start :-D
Well, you already know what I thought halfway through, and it's only gotten better from there ;-)
I love your writing style. It feels fluid and easy to get lost in, and I agree with Saless that Leslie at least seemed unusually excited (already getting him into 'P' wing and all), but it's hard to blame him/her, knowing that our protagonist would make such a natural girl. Even the Algebra professor thought so without any prior knowledge of him.
Can't wait to see what you do with this! :-D
Yesssss......
Great! I loved Princess-Princess - and now a story... - fantastic!! I hope you go with the same kind of costumes....
Please - do continue!!
Harry
One
of my favourite Manga/anime/live action series!
For my twopennath please stay away from medical intervention the whole charm of the series is that the princess' do not want to be girls, its just a job done sometimes grudgingly!
i'm already waiting for more!
Maddy
Davis and Hart
RAMI
I wonder why Mr. Davis left school and his apprehensions about Mr. Hart. Just guessing, without much backup, but I think that perhaps Mr. Davis, Stew was Steffi last year and one of the princesses. Perhaps he did not enjoy the experience to say the least and left school or more likely was driven from the school becuase of the unappreciated advances perhaps sexual attacks of Mr. Hart.
I am not sure if the ratings of this story will change from PG15 to something more intense, but at this point I do not think the role of princess is as benign or simple as being discussed. Perhaps more is expeted of the girls then is being revealed to Daniel, whom I expect will be Danni in the morning and perhaps for the rest of his/her life.
And what are the jobs that the Princesses for Hire have to do. Perhaps that of the oldest profession, and is the Head of school a practitioner of the second oldest profession.
RAMI
RAMI
Rami, I Suggest...
that you Wiki the Princess Princess manga, if you haven't already. It would appear that in the original at least, nothing as untoward as your final paragraph seems to be taking place. From the description there (which I'll admit is the sum total of what I know about this), the princess role does seem rather benign, complications notwithstanding.
And given our protagonist's insistence on Beck as his new name, Becky seems more likely than Danni for his new persona.
Eric
Very Interesting
I don't usually go for school stories but this is intriguing. There still seem to be a few unanswered questions and I'm sure that Beck hasn't been told the whole truth by any means. "You'll see soon enough" seems to happen too often for it not to smack of a plot.
I don't know anything about manga or anime so maybe a lot of the plot will be lost on me. The fact that I've read it and am eagerly awaiting more is testament to the high standard of your writing.
Please do continue the story; I'm one of the 'won't post until it's finished' brigade.
Susie
Thanks! How's... Wednesday sound?
I've already got the next two parts finished, but I want to delay on posting them so that I have time to A) let each part breathe a little and get enough exposure, and B) I have plenty of room to write more in the meantime!
In truth, I was kind of worried about this story for several reasons. I plan on mostly sticking to the ideas behind the original, but at the same time I wanted to avoid some of the more Japan-centric ideas, so as the story goes on you'll see more and more areas where things are quite a bit different from their Japanese counterparts. Hopefully it doesn't upset the purists too much :P
Eventually there will be romance, and probably some other types of problems the characters run into (can anyone say "parent's day?") but like the manga and anime, most of the story is gonna stay light, fun, and hopefully have a good dash of comedy thrown in as well!
To Bailey Summers: Hmm. Well, if you're asking about sex, then I'm afraid that's gonna be glossed over, if it occurs at all. I'm a bit of what one could call a prude when it comes to sexual things, sorry!
To Harry: The costumes 'might' come up, but only for special occasions :P While the premise of the story itself is rather silly in some ways, I was trying to consider how an actual school would go about things if it were to actually have such a program, and one thing that they would definitely be against is the distraction of someone walking around in a nightie and bonnet while everyone else is in uniforms. Some of these things are touched on in the next part, so to see what's going on you'll just have to wait!
To Maddy: This might be a bit of a spoiler, so let me see what I can do. Highlight to read (if you dare:)
The only time that any kind of surgeries, hormones, etc. would be present is if the princess chose, and even then, that wouldn't be handled by the school. I'm working on a bit larger scale than the Princess program as featured in the anime, so while most of the "girls" are perfectly happy being boys...
To Saless: They have reasons, but don't worry -- no one's forced into anything:P
Melanie E.
Hey it
was more of a joke really I've got no idea about the anime or manga thing. I just was kind of teasing. It does have a sort of touch of the story a different kind of education though in that whole alternate studies thing.
Bailey Summers
No big
I wasn't offended or anything, I promise :P I tend to avoid Gingerfred Man's stuff myself, though, mostly because of the prude thing and partly because... well, that's a story for a different time.
Thanks! I'm definitely
Thanks! I'm definitely looking forward to more of this story!
Love it so far.
It's still too early for me to tell, but I'm thinking this story will definitely fit in favorites. Hope to see more soon!
~Que Sera~
~Que Sera~
Lovely start
to a very promising series. I can't wait for the next chapter. And where can I apply to join the school??
IF YOU COMMENT, MORE WILL COME!
I am not much of a commenter, :) but, in as much as I also want to see more I am commenting. :)
Your beginning is excellant, your writing is easy to follow and your story line is developing very good.
Please keep it comming, I haven't read you before so I am going to look at your previous submissions.
Deb
Interesting Set-Up
'Ohhh...as a story by Melanie!' was my first thought. And it didn't disappoint. It has the hallmarks of your usual quality and an interesting set-up in this story for more to come. I look forward to watching the story unfold. As for the premise, it's unorthadox but I've heard of crazier ideas in schools that have experimental education styles!
I'm not familiar with the 'Princess Princess' stories as my anime choices tend to be more mecha / cyberpunk style but it's an interesting premise and I look forward to more!
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
Princess For Hire Part 1
Good start. There are very few such schools as this. Will be fun to see what happens.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
It might be fun to see what happens
..but not in this plain of existence, since there are likely NO schools like this anywhere on the planet. Perhaps teens with huge eyes and flyaway hair in a cartoon on cable TV or in a book at Barnes and Noble? Mindy Cohen
Melanie, Top notch work! I
Melanie, Top notch work! I don't think its unrealistic at all. The high school I attended (back in the day) was the experimental school for one of the biggest districts in the nation. My class had to do all sorts of really weird things, all in the name of experimental education. Really weird... really. All without parental notification. So this just goes a step further.
So I will be looking forward to seeing what happens to Beck... Becca? Rebbecca?
Anyway:
[quote]I've been in a bit of a slump lately as far as writing goes, and seeing Lilith Langtree's recent comment about posting unfinished work, I had to agree.[end quote]
Excellent! Sitting on my hands and my stories has been torture. I've got a hundred thousand words hanging around not doing anything. It kills the inspiration, literally. I wrote and wrote, but eventually stalled because I had no feedback no real reason to keep writing. So post away and maybe that slump will dissolve. Good Luck!
Lili
Interesting,
yes, interesting start. I look forward to future episodes, the sooner the better,
Love and cuddles,
Janice Elizabeth
Interesting start
You certainly have piqued my/our interest with this story. I will have to read the "books" myself. Please, continue to write/post your work here. I enjoy them.
when a door is closed, a window opens somewhere
Whatever path is chosen, live to experience at its fullest.
Princess Princess
I have seen the live-action version of this anime, so it is an interesting premise.
I would like to have a "word picture" of what Beck looks like. Heart shape face is saying a lot, but hair and height?
Looking forward to the next part.
Carla
"May you live in Interesting Times" is a promise, not a threat!
"Word Picture?"
Well, let's see... around five six or five eight, just on the healthy side of gangly, with shaggy hair as is the style with the emo kids these days. Brown hair, I think, and brown eyes? I'll have to double check. Tell you what; how about people post pics of what they think he looks like? I'd be interested to see what people come up with!
Melanie E.
Well, you have me hooked and
Well, you have me hooked and I am sitting here waiting for the next chapter(s) to be posted. A very interesting and different way of opening a school story. Welcome aboard, Jan :)
Heard about
Princess Princess, I've been reading an anime/manga/uh-nevermind forum and it has come up. My depth of knowledge is about what you get from Wikipedia so I'm definitely no purist.
I take it part of his enrollment packet included photos plus vital statistics - height, weight, measurements, etc. All the little details required to obtain proper-fitting uniforms. :-) They are required to appear one day a week, for which they are paid. If they want to wear the uniform more than once a week, do they get paid for those days also? The wiki article shows some of the costumes the Japanese girls wear, some are cute but a bit over-the-top for the U.S. So I'm curious what the local versions will be, teenybopper, cheerleader, phys ed clothes, casual, formal? And how realistic do the outfits get? Breast forms, corsets, padded panties, hair extensions? Oh, my, this could get interesting!
Beck - Becky? Hmmmm . . .
Karen J.
"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather
“When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn’t become a king. The palace becomes a circus.” - Turkish Proverb
Intriguing!
I haven't knowingly read any manga/anime, but taking an anime situation and adapting it to a 'real' school does offer some interesting possibilities. The challenge is to keep it 'real'/plausible in the 'real school' setting.
I like your writing. I do feel you were glib in Daniel's acceptance of the program. Given the amount of angst he has over the treatment by his 'family', I would have expected a touch more angst from him when enlightened about the experimental program.
Waiting for more. Thanks.
Hugs,
Trish-Ann
~There is no reality, only perception~
Hugs,
Trish Ann
~There is no reality, only perception~
A very nice start, Melanie.
A very nice start, Melanie. And maybe just a bit off the beaten path? More, please. Rianna
Nice Start
This was a very nice start. I was particularly pleased that it wasn't just the same old thing.
Hope the slump ends soon.
Shy
Princess for Hire
This a really great start. I undestand you have RL to deal with and writing issues but please finish this as soon as possible.
Melanie
Good start, but ...
... I think it would have been interesting to have seen what would have happened had he turned down the Head's offer. Would the velvet glove have come off? Would he have found himself bounced to the sweat sox smelling room? Would he, as the Head thought, have been lumped in with the princesses unofficially by the student body? He does seem to have accepted the job way, way to easily. Perhaps some sneaky subliminal stuff at work already?
If his Mom had let his Dad have custody, why was he living with his mom and step-family right up till leaving for school?
BE a lady!
The Manga
I love Princess Princess. This is a fantastic story, its been a while since I've read the manga so I might have to go back and read it again but I'm looking forward to more similarities. If anyone who hasn't read it, you can find it on mangafox.com. At least it was on there the last time I checked.
Anime Video On-line
Or, you can watch the manga/anime on line at:
http://www.animefreak.tv/watch/princess-princess-episode-1-e...
Looks like there are 12 episodes out there, about 23 minutes each.
Good Start on A School Story
This is a beautiful start to a unique and original start on a CD type story.
Avoid the calls for hormones and false breast. The story can be interesting
and challenging without all this other stuff. A good example is the the
excellent story by Sarah Lynn Morgan, Boy' School. The Headmaster has a program
where boys with certain physical characteristics can make beautiful looking
girls to parade around school and inspire the rest of the student body to
to achieve greater success in school. The job of campus "Princess" being
done by normal boys who do not desire to be girls but are motivated by financial
need. Because they are normal boys some of the problems they encounter will be
challenging and put them in embarrassing situations which will be humorous
and kinky. But at no time should these boys be degraded in any form. Part
of the humor as a reader is to be able to relate and thus feel the awkwardness
of the "Princes" fulfilling their role.
Thank you for this wonderful story. With such a good start I don't think
you can go wrong whatever direction you decide to take this story.
Kaptin Nibbles
Did you get enough comments?
This looks like it will be fun.
Much Peace
Khadijah Gwen
Uh, yeah... WOW.
This is, I do believe, officially my second most commented-upon story as of right now, and less than 24 hours after posting!
This is amazing, y'all, and thank you all for such great comments! Some of the ideas people have had are so different than what I've got planned it's unreal, while others might have just hit the nail on the head :P Who knows? Maybe once I finish the story I'll open it up as a potential universe? The gods know there's plenty of room for all different kinds of stories here.
Melanie E.
EDIT: Nope! It's number one!
I liked it
I hope there will be more!
A Sheep in A Den of Wolves
Me likes. Keep it lighthearted and fun and I'll eagerly follow this one to the end.
As for posting unfinished work... It's no different than TV shows. Keep each chapter/episode exciting and vital and if you get "canceled" by writer's block or fleeting fancy well, then people must simply enjoy what was there, or not.
Life's too short to waste another minute!
princess for hire
This seems to be a unique story. Leaves a lot of room to be explained, as to why he was "chosen", even before he got there. etc.....
Looking forward for more.
I'm looking forward to more of this story and hope you continue posting what you have. Keep plugging away when you can and we'll be here to read it when it's ready. Thank you for your story.
V/r Jeff B.
Great work!
I really enjoyed this and would love to read more!
Vicky
Well written and thought provoking
Has the potential of becoming a very good series. Although, the descriptions of the boys faces in the Maths class can only be taken as to show that some problems will be forthcoming, which will undoubtedly keep it interesting?
As always, so much to read, so little time and only one of me :)
The English Teacher
So much to read, so little time and only one of me :)
The English Teacher
PRINCESS FOR HIRE PT. #1
A MOST UNIQUE STORY LINE ... NEVER READ ANYTHING LIKE IT and IT EARTINLY IS ENTERTAINING and INTRIGUING ENOUGH,TO MAKE ME WISH PART # 2 WAS READY ...
LOVE YOUR STORIES and ALL OF YOU ... THANKS FOR THIS WONDERFUL GIFT >>>
I like it
I watched the Anime for an episode or two, but never went any further. I'd like to see more of this story posted, it sounds interesting!
-Christelle
"Fun-loving geek-chick who's addicted to sunlight!"
-Christelle
"Fun-loving geek-chick who's addicted to sunlight!"
Interesting
Not knowing anything about the manga / anime that inspired this, I've just watched the first episode of the anime and live action version over at YouTube (talk about a wonderful resource!) From what I've seen, the less said about the live-action version (Princess Princess D), the better...
This tale definitely flows better than the anime, and the subtle plot changes make it seem more realistic as well. Of course, with the salary for being a Princess dependent on how often they wear the feminine attire, it certainly raises the possibility that at some point in future, the school will have to consider an upper limit for the salary... :)
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
A very good beginning!
This seems like quite a good start to a story that can go many ways. Please keep it up!
SuZie
SuZie
Write On !
Ms. Melanie please keep on writing. I am enjoying your good beginning. Hugs, Wendy Marie
Wendy Marie
I just finished the first
I just finished the first offering and think it is very good. I am now moving to the next with an eager anticipation.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Interesting!!!
This is intriguing and is open to a few paths. I am also
wondering about Daniel's dad, a few hints here and there.
I also wonder about how quickly Daniel accepted this!!!
Oh well just have to read more to get some answers.
Pamela
"how many cares one loses when one decides not to be
something, but someone" Coco Chanel
Interesting,
I bookmarked this story for a future read and then forgot it. When Angharad started her version I remembered it and came back. Gee, how time flys when you are having fun!
So far the story has my interest.
finally reading this one
looks good!
Just late small linguistic observation...
While Uchiha is one of the clans in Naruto, and is modified Uchiwa wich is a hand fan, this name gives interesting association to those who know Russian...
"Uchi" is a root of the lots of Russian words around teaching, studiing, learning and instructing. For example, "Uchilka" is a colloquial slightly derogatory (Only used among students) form for "female teacher".
So "Uchiha" sounds a bit like male version of "Uchilka" :-)
This is quite the High School
This is quite the High School !
Totally original story plot I think
Karen
Shiraz's Initial Stories
This strongly reminds me of the initial time in the private school in Northern Scotland, near Thurso.
Gwen