This is the first of a (currently) two part, ongoing story.

https://www.patreon.com/c/SissyGirlSammi

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“Good news and bad news.”

I know that phrase has been used to precede a lot of different things throughout human history, but it’s hard to imagine a more unexpected, unbelievable or contrasting pair of things than the two that greeted me.

“The bad news is that we’re raising your tuition, cutting your grants and basically making it so that you can’t afford college.”

They obviously didn’t phrase it that way but they might as well have. I was the first guy in my family to go to college and now I was going to have to drop out. Budget cuts, federal funding slashes and suddenly my dream was gone. I was so freaked out by the news that I immediately opened the next envelope, this one from the college’s science department. I thought they might have more details, possible alternatives for me. That’s when I got the second part.

”The good news is that we’re running a special medical trial and participation brings financial benefits.”

It seemed so serendipitous that it was almost suspicious, but I was reeling too hard from the shock to think about that. Instead, I called the research department and volunteered as fast as possible, hoping that I wouldn’t be late. This was the only way I could stay in college.

But now, with a bit of a clearer head and the money secured, I know what really happened. I got a pair of letters on that day which said, in no uncertain terms:

“Good news and bad news. The bad news is that you’re in trouble. The good news is: We’re going to turn you into a girl!”

I won’t bore you with all the medical details, because I don’t know them myself. Any time they tried to explain I’d lose track after a few syllables and be forced to remind myself that they were geniuses. I was just a guy with a B average.

For now, at least.

They did manage to assure me that it was all reversible, as their approach was less ‘suture and scalpel’ and more ‘genetic manipulation and stuff I couldn’t even fathom.’ By the time they started to use a caterpillar in its cocoon to explain it, I realized that it was probably best not to think about it. People with Nobel Prizes were swearing that I would go right back to normal after the semester, and so I let myself trust them. I had already signed the paperwork, after all, had already done all the preliminary tests and gotten to the moment of truth.

Name:   Caleb Watson
Age:   19
Height:  6ft2
Weight: 215 lbs
Hair:   Brown
Eyes:    Blue
Skin:     White

I stared at the details as if repeating them in my mind would keep me that way. It seemed to be all I could do.

Then, I followed them to the laboratory, inhaled the gas…

And I woke up.

I really can’t explain it without a frame of reference, but I’ll try my best. It wasn’t just like I had changed. Change was too small a world. The foundation upon which the word ‘change’ would usually have existed on had shifted. My default being was now something else. The entire chemistry of my body, down to its genetics and molecular structure was new, and going from one state to the other was more disorienting than I could possibly imagine. Try thinking of vertigo but a million times worse, and coming from every cell. And instead of your body being on unsure ground, your brain was now in an unsure body.

My mind could hardly wrap itself around the feeling, but that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was that, even without thinking, I expected normalcy to come. I expected the feeling to pass. But unlike every feeling I’d ever had, it didn’t fade into normal. It faded into a new feeling, a new state, a new default.

Normal felt different, in ways I could hardly describe. Even after the initial adjustment, the way my mind rested inside my body was entirely new. It was deeper than any labels, more comprehensive than any descriptor could touch on, but I looked to the screen regardless.

Name:  Cassie Watson
Age:   19
Height: 5ft2
Weight:120 lbs
Hair: Brown
Eyes:   Blue
Skin:    White

The feeling of being someone completely different was so strange that I had hardly even thought about my appearance. For those first three seconds, the sensation and existential difference was enough to shock me. But those numbers were just ridiculous. How could I have lost a foot of height?! Where had so much of me gone?!

I had to look.
I could hear the droning of their voices as my ears and brain got reacquainted and finally found a metal wall to look at. It wasn’t a perfect mirror, but it was enough of one.

Narrow shoulders.

Long, straight and silky hair.

A cinched waist.

Wide hips.

Decent sized breasts…

And nothing between their legs.

Of course, I knew that something was there, even if the warping of the imperfect reflection made sure it didn’t have much definition. In fact, there was more than something there, more than just the appearance of femininity. It went all the way inside me, all the way to my womb.

My womb.

Just thinking those words was enough to give me an existential crisis, panic attack and horror movie scream all at once. It wasn’t that the doctors weren’t nice or that the operation wasn’t painless. It wasn’t even that the new me was so terrible.

I just freaked out.

They put me back under and made sure to bring me out of it slow next time, with the counselors on standby. But it passed after that. I was just a jumpscare, just a lot to process at once. I was a girl now.

I was a girl.

For this whole semester, I was Cassie.

They promised me that no one would know, gave me my own dorm and falsified all my records so I’d seem like a transfer. Given that I wanted to keep my head down and get through this semester as smoothly as possible, I thought that was for the best. I figured I could watch all the movies on my list during the next few months, spend my days locked in the dorm with the lights off as I tried to ignore the new realities of me.

I did get a better look at myself before discharge, though it was hard to take any solace it in. I was cute, with a round face, dimples and an adorable smile. I had breasts that felt big to me but which they assured me were only ‘above average.’ C cups, apparently.

I looked like a girl next door, a pretty yet approachable girl who didn’t give me anything to say when it came to: ‘well at least I’m this and not that.’ I tried, but there just wasn’t anything to latch onto. I was cute. I was short. I had a nice butt, even if I hated to admit it.

I was Cassie.

Cassie lived in a nice single dorm on the top floor of Reisman Hall, a floor that was all girls and only girls. I was so confused about myself and my body that I didn’t even think about peeping on them. It wouldn’t even be peeping now if I hung out in the showers.

But I was not in that headspace.

I hadn’t had a dirty thought since all of this began and while it was nice to imagine that I still liked girls, my brain had just been thrown for too much of a loop to consider whether or not I did. My body had bigger things to deal with than attraction for the moment.

So I moved in, thinking about all the times I’d have to leave and be like this in public. There were my daily tests at the lab, and my classes and going to the cafe…

But otherwise, I could just hunker down, right? I could avoid everything that actually came with being a girl and watch movies in my room? Right?

Wrong.

I wore a hoodie and cargo pants on my first excursion of the semester, heading to the cafe for breakfast. I didn’t get as hungry in this body, but even I had to eat. With my sports bra, I didn’t have to worry too much about my chest moving and with such concealing clothing, I didn’t have to worry about eyes.

But I still felt vulnerable.

I knew I was weak, better than most girls. I’d been in the ‘I bet I can beat you in armwrestling’ situation a couple times, where girls underestimated just how strong guys were in comparison to them and quickly found out just how weak they were.

Only, I’d been the guy.

Now I was a barely 5 foot tall tomboy. Each step took me a shorter distance than it once had. I had to look up at everyone, get on my tiptoes to grab things, and even then would struggle to reach them.

Suffice to say, I was annoyed.

I was so annoyed that I walked right past the table outside the cafe where everyone was congregating, set up for some stupid club. They did signups and fundraising there so I figured I could skip it. But after eating as fast as possible and keeping my hoodie up the whole time, I had to walk past it again.

And that’s when all the trouble started.

“Excuse me?”

I knew that voice.

Everyone on campus knew that voice, and everyone knew that the nice tone it was using shouldn’t be trusted. It was sugary sweet, almost gratingly nice yet unmistakably authoritative. Beneath all the well mannered pleasantness was the unmistakable fact that you ought to listen to her, and would regret it if you didn’t.

It was the voice of Kaley Thompson. Every girl wanted to be her and every guy wanted her. But to the girls and guys who knew they never would, she was a menace of subtle, preppy mechanizations which could crush those who’d slighted her.

She was sitting with Aida and Jane, her well known seconds in command. I had hardly ever seen them without her, and it only made sense they were at her side. I knew I should just keep walking and act like I hadn’t heard them. After all, I had decided not to have a social life this semester. What should I care about social slights or standings? But I had already made a fatal mistake.

I’d stopped.

It was one thing to just keep walking. They weren’t so vain that they would take that as an insult. But stopping, showing them you’d heard and walking away anyway? That was an outright rebuke of them. And it was small, but I was new. They wouldn’t want to think I was showing them up on my first day.

It was so much easier being some loser dude who didn’t have to worry about these things…

But even now, I wasn’t in the mood. I didn’t know what they were capable of, not yet. So after a moment, and a quick glance at the blonde and her two friends, I scurried off. I wasn’t ready to hold a conversation with my tiny, high pitched voice. So I just made my way back to the dorm and locked myself inside, hoping that this got easier.

I knew I could adjust to my new situation if I had the time. My brain was already working to relearn my body and it’s not like it could not try to adapt. I would get used to it in time.

I just needed the time.

As I paced the room, I forgot all about Kaley and refocused on myself.

I thought of the way my hips rolled with each step, the way that good posture meant putting my chest out more prominently.

I thought about the fact that I had a chest.

It was so odd to wrap my head around getting whole new body parts after almost 20 years without them but I knew I had to. So I slowly undressed, taking off the hoodie and the loose tee and the cargo pants and the boyshorts and the sportbra…

And leaving me bare.

I had a good figure and was as fit as a new body ought to be. They’d warned me that it’d adjust to the way I treated it, but I doubted I’d fatten myself up with this appetite. I’d stay a trim, cute 5ft2.

Cute. Approachable. With a nice smile and long silky hair…

I hated to admit it, but I probably wouldn’t mind dating myself. 

My hands reached down and fondled my breasts, bouncing them up and down before I was hit once more by that recent realization:

Playing with my boobs didn’t feel like playing with someone’s boobs. It felt like having your boobs played with.

As much as I might want to explore or get weird, this was my body now and I couldn’t objectify it too much without feeling objectified. Playing with it just made me feel like more of a girl, so I decided to put that off.

I got dressed in my usual stuff and headed to the bathroom, cursing the fact that this body had a smaller bladder. Not only did I have to sit when I peed, but I couldn’t put it off as long as I wanted.

Still, I’d get used to it as long as I had time. I just had to go at my own pace. I had to let things come slow, and ease myself back into the world.

But, as I walked to the bathroom, I realized I wouldn’t get that chance.

“I can’t believe they’re letting him room with us!”

“Him? Shouldn’t we be calling him a she?!”

“Whatever they did, he’s not really a girl! He’s a freak!”

I stopped cold, suddenly not worried about my bladder. I snuck down the hall, mindful of squeaks or steps on the linoleum until I was eavesdropping by the floor’s common area.

“It’s a good thing you warned us, Kaley! But how did you find out?”

“How do I find out anything? Nothing gets past me.”

I leaned against the wall, my blood running cold in my veins. I was so dumbstruck that I didn’t react when I heard the footsteps from the room, walking from the common area-

And right to me.

She was about my height, but wearing heels that made her look down on me. Framed by her golden blonde hair, her pretty face contorted into a sneer and her eyebrow playfully raised. “Did you hear the news? One of the girls here is a lab experiment. They’re really a boy…”

She reached forward and brushed some hair out of my face as I looked up to her.

“Better watch out. Because I’m going to make sure she has a hard semester.”