Nathan collapsed onto his bed in exhaustion after hours of unpacking.

“I hate moving.” He groaned into the covers.

Astian laughed from outside the doorway. “You didn’t even have that much to unpack.”

Nathan flipped himself over and flicked Astian off.

“I see we’re off to a good start.” Astian said. “I hope we can at least get along well enough so you don’t have to move again.”

Nathan put his hand down. “Man, I’ve got no god damn money right now. You know I can’t do that.” He replied, annoyed.

“I know, I’m just teasing.” Astian said. “I know it’s been hard for you. You didn’t deserve to get fired.”

“I was only late once.” He insisted. “I wasn’t doing worse than anyone else, I swear.”

“Did they really not tell you why you were fired?”

“Unless you count some vague rambling of ‘poor job performance’ they didn’t bother explaining, then no.”

“I’m sorry.”

Nathan sighed, his tone growing more dejected. “I mean… I know I probably fucked up somewhere. I always do. It’s just… I felt like I was almost doing okay, for the first time in my life. And then… I can’t even keep a job at fucking Little Caesar’s.”

Astian stared down at the incredibly broken man for an almost uncomfortably long time.

“You know, my dad always told me this…” He eventually said. “When you’re at the bottom, there’s nowhere to go but up.”

“Thanks… I’ll try to keep that in mind.” Nathan rubbed his face. “I’m sorry for being such a burden. I promise I’ll start applying to jobs first thing tomorrow. You can kick my ass if I don’t.”

“Hey, it’s no problem. I don’t mind looking after you.” Astian reassured him. “And if you ask me, I think you should go back to college. I think that’d be better for you right now than getting a job.”

“How the hell do you expect me to pay for that?” Nathan asked. “My parents cut me off. I’m broke. Who’s gonna pay for it? You? You don’t have that kind of money.”

“I can get the money.”

“How? You got a winning lottery ticket in your closet?”

“Nathan, I know how to get the money.” Astian said firmly. “I can pay for it, trust me.”

Nathan wasn’t convinced. “Even if you’re telling the truth, I don’t want you putting so much into helping me. Don’t you think people ought to live with their fuck ups?”

“That’s a bunch of BS. We’re friends. We help each other. I hate seeing you like this.”

“You don’t have to make me feel good, you can be honest.”

“I am being honest. I think you have potential. You just need a little push. If you can go back to college and finish your degree, or… finish a degree, I think you could get far in life.”

“You really think I should go back to college?” Nathan asked. “It’s the middle of June. You can’t register right now. I’d have to wait until next year.”

“I think you can register for the winter semester.” He said. “Besides, I can make sure, without a doubt, that you’re registered. You can start classes as soon as next year or maybe even in the fall. You just have to trust me. This is a good opportunity you have here. Don’t throw it away.”

“You don’t know how college registrations work.”

“You don’t know how I work.”

Nathan stared up at the ceiling, watching as the fan whirled around without pause.

“What would be the point?” He said.

For the second time in under an hour, Astian stared down at Nathan, for a very uncomfortably long time.

“I’ll get your life back in order, I promise.”

***

After the sun went down, Nathan sauntered over to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. There was only one bottle of something with alcohol. He picked it up.

A Budweiser.

“Little known trick to get an alcoholic to stop drinking.” Astian said, entering the kitchen. “You find the only alcoholic in America who doesn’t drink beer. And then you buy beer.”

Nathan glared as Astian leaned on the countertop. “You’re so clever.” He put the bottle back in the fridge.

“Nathan, if you want to get your life back together, you have to stop drinking so much.”

“Well then, what’s your recommendation, Mom?”

“Find a better coping method. Read a book, watch a TV show. Exercise, you could really use that.” Astian gestured down to his belly.

Nathan’s face went beet red and he crossed his arms. “I’m only a hundred ninety one pounds.” He mumbled.

Astian saw the kitchen clock. “Oh, it’s later than I thought. I have to get to bed.” He looked back at Nathan. “Now, I know you might try to drink some of that beer, but I implore you, please, stop and think on it for a bit. You don’t want alcoholism to be your life. Stop while you still can.”

“…Okay.”

Astian nodded and left the kitchen. Right before he turned into the small hallway leading to the bedrooms, Nathan swore he looked back and stared at him for a couple seconds. He was probably just checking to make sure Nathan wasn’t drinking the beer, but still, he didn’t like the feeling it gave off.

Once he was gone, Nathan opened the refrigerator and was greeted with that same bottle of beer. He hated beer, but he wanted badly to have a drink. It had been a long, stressful day. His hand reached out to it.

“Just one drink”, his mind said.

He stopped.

“One drink.” That’s how it always started. Then it would turn into two drinks, and then three. It was a never ending spiral you couldn’t break out of.

Nathan closed the refrigerator. Maybe tomorrow. He went to his room and shut the door. He turned on the light, taking in his new place.

There wasn’t much to see. It was very bland, not personalized in the slightest. That’s what his bedroom at his old apartment was like too. Nathan had never been interested in decoration. Aside from a laptop and a game controller, there was nothing he could call his.

Nathan gazed out the bedroom window. There was no moon out tonight, so everything outside was nearly pitch black aside from a couple dim streetlights.

If it weren’t for Astian, that’s where he’d be sleeping tonight. He couldn’t possibly thank that man enough. Even after all the bad decisions he made in his life, Astian was still there to help him. Nathan felt obligated to pay him back in some way. He wished he had the means to.

Nathan went and switched off the light. He hopped into his new bed. As he closed his eyes, he had a good feeling that tomorrow would finally be the day his life made a change for the better.

***

Nathan stared into the mirror, confused, horrified.

There was something very wrong here, he was sure of it. His reflection was not what it was supposed to be. He needed to call for help or get away from this place, fast.

“You’re imagining things.” Something in his head told him. “Nothing is wrong, you’ve always been like this.”

Had he? It was hard to tell with how jumbled his mind was. Foreign thoughts kept forcing their way inside. He was powerless to stop them.

“Everything is fine. Nothing is happening to you.”

Nathan took a relaxed breath and immediately calmed down. Yeah, that sounded right. He was getting all worked up over nothing. What was he even upset about in the first place? He couldn’t remember.

No, no, NO! Something was definitely wrong! Was he blind to what was happening right before his eyes? He needed to do something, right now!

Every time he realized something was wrong, his mind kept pulling him back. Always telling him he was mistaken, always telling him there was nothing to be afraid of, always making him forget what it was that was scaring him. It needed to stop. This couldn’t keep happening.

Nathan stood in the darkness, unable to discern any of the constant confusion plaguing his mind. Suddenly, he heard the sound of a door opening behind him. He turned his head and saw a dark figure entering the room. Slow, ominous footsteps crept toward him…

Natalie sprang up in her bed and clutched her chest, breathing heavily and feeling her heart pound incessantly.

What the hell had she just dreamed?

Her mind was working in overdrive, trying to make sense of what happened.

Nathan Parker…

She… he was living with Astian, his best friend, not boyfriend, in this apartment. He just moved in with him. He had unpacked and fell asleep in that very bed. He was having trouble getting his life in order and Astian said he was going to help him. And then… something else happened at the end of it, right before she woke up. She couldn’t make sense of it.

The dream was very clear in her mind, as if it were something that actually happened to her. Something she experienced.

Wait…

Natalie noticed a shift in her memories.

She had experienced that! She remembered it, very clearly!

She couldn’t recall any other event in Nathan’s life, but she could recall that one specific memory, the day she moved into Astian’s apartment. Nothing before, nothing after.

It wasn’t just the memory itself she remembered, but the sensation and feeling of being a man. She could feel what it was like to have a man’s body, and to have a penis.

She recoiled at that train of thought. She didn’t want to know what that felt like. She didn’t want to know anything about her supposed past male life. She didn’t need any more reminders that her life was fake. A mirage put into place by someone she thought she loved.

Natalie got out of bed without a groan or whimper. It was Monday, and Monday meant work. She didn’t care. In fact, she welcomed it. Maybe it could ease her mind, make her forget for a moment that her life wasn’t real.

She laughed. As if.