CHAPTER 84
Just the slightest of twitches in reaction to Mam’s deliberate stressing of the boy’s middle name, and of course I understood her purpose. My son turned his wide-eyed gaze to Mam.

“This is Aunty Annie and she lives in England by a church with aeroplanes and she plays a flute and she doesn’t speak Welsh but Aunty Steph Mrs Woodruff does!”

CHAPTER 82
The next few weeks passed far too quickly, as I rarely experienced them as individual days. The files managed something new, delivering a sensation I had thought burnt out of me by Evans, Cooper, Pig and all the rest: shock.

I found myself reliving Peter Nicol-Clements comments about experiences with the police, “Back then”, and I finally understood what a different world they had inhabited.

CHAPTER 80
She announced her return with a series of groans, a flutter of eyelashes, and unfortunately a grab for something, anything, to catch the few drops of vomit she brought up. Shan was quicker than me, taking one of the papier-mâché bowls from the side cabinet and holding it to Charlie’s mouth until she was finished.

“Diane?”

“Yes, Shan?”

“Buzz the nurse? She got something for me”

CHAPTER 78
I was back with the others after a surprisingly short conversation, followed by a longer one, with Simon, who was looking positively secular in a checked shirt and jeans, not a whistle of a dog collar in sight. That thought brought back others, of course, and he noticed. After we had finished our negotiations, he asked outright what had disturbed me.

“Nothing here, Simon. Just been a rather heavy time at work”

“Ah. Annie told me about the shootings”

CHAPTER 76
Annie had been apologetic.

“Sorry to mess you around, Di, but we just haven’t got the room for both of you. Steph’s place isn’t that far away from us, honest”

“Are you apologising, girl? What the hell for?”

“Well, I sort of said I’d put you up, aye? And now I’m turfing you out. It doesn’t feel right”

“Annie, who is it that’s going to be putting her up for so many weeks?”

CHAPTER 74
I succumbed on Saturday morning, spending a few hours getting wet along with Candice, followed by a memorably graceless display of utter inability on the Centre’s little dry-skiing slope, where I was made to look even worse by the effortless performance of Lisa and Lexie, the little sods. The sun was out again, and Barry just sat on the terrace, headphones on and eyes closed, recovering his life in his own fashion.

CHAPTER 72
We were approaching Capel Curig when I felt Blake tense slightly, then slowly relax.

“What’s up, love?”

“Tell you later, aye?”

CHAPTER 71
Afterwards, as so often in my life, I was able to talk with my lover. I couldn’t imagine how I would ever be able to cope without him there to take the load at least partly from my shoulders, but I was certain he felt the same way about the support I offered him.

“Blake?”

“Yeah?”

“Might need some help A few cracks showing”

CHAPTER 69
Barry was out of the blocks before I could strap in, and as he drove the short distance to the gates, I felt as if I was back in my days riding with him and Traffic. He could drive almost as smoothly as my man when he wanted to, but this was so different. There was venom in his cornering, and I am sure that without ABS the car would have slid to a stop rather than lurch. The boys had already armed up, and once again I was left behind as they burst from the front seats, eyes everywhere. Bryn waved to me.

“Di! On us! Now!

CHAPTER 65
“St Nicholas’ church. May I help you?”

A woman’s voice, with a strong West Welsh accent. That would be the vicar’s other half then.

“Miriam Jenkins?”

“Speaking. Do I know you?”

“Diane Sutton. I was over at Christmas, with the Powells. With my husband and little boy”

“Would that be the very big man… Sorry. I sometimes fail to think properly before I speak. There are many big men in our circle. Was he the little one who slept with Elaine and Siân’s two? Um… Roderick?”

CHAPTER 63
I grinned and nodded.

“That a problem, Frank?”

He paused for half a minute, clearly weighing his words as best he could, before looking up and smiling.

“No, not really. Depends on how well you know Deb, I suppose”

He lifted his glass, frowned, and waved at a waiter.

“Could I please have another Peroni? The large bottle? Anyone else?”

CHAPTER 61
There was no way I was going to survive another debauch, especially so soon after both Christmas and our team party. I really wasn’t up to another set of ambush memories biding their time to emerge at the most inopportune moments possible, thank you very much. Besides, Rhod was due his own moment with my parents, and so our New Year’s Eve was spent with family, a small boy assured he would be allowed to stay up and hear the bongs finally succumbing to slumber and falling asleep cuddled up to his Bamps.

CHAPTER 59
Dad dropped me off, as requested, and I took a seat and another rehydration cuppa in the little café across the road from the safe house. Out with the mobile.

“Morning, Di! Bright and early after last night, aren’t you?”

“It wasn’t that heavy a night!”

“Says Queen Karaoke the first!”

“Shit. Was I that bad?”

CHAPTER 57
I felt slightly nauseous just then. I wasn’t like some women, obsessed with animal welfare to the exclusion of the people around them, but we had a cat, my men and I, and he was part of the family. Even though I hadn’t had pets before, the presence of Fritz felt utterly natural to me. The idea of using a pet animal to prove how big a dick you had disturbed me, and if this was dogs rather than that other type of cock, it could turn out a really shitty case.

CHAPTER 55
There was no real reason to spend any more time with Elaine, and despite the fact that the Barracloughs had followed Annie’s lead in setting up a raft of tents in the back garden, the house was absolutely groaning at the seams. Blake and I still had our responsibilities to paid employment to fulfil, and to be honest, the more I watched Elaine and Siân locking soppy eyes with their children, the more I missed my own boy.

CHAPTER 53
It was an awkward time for a few days. It wasn’t that Elaine’s family made Blake and me feel unwelcome, though. Far from it: we were enfolded in their family like something out of a bad Star Trek film. Twm had returned much later than Eric, and Sarah simply ignored him when he claimed not to be hungry, making a small dent in our breakfast supplies. I conveyed the news to my own mother after Twm had played proud grandfather. He had been adamant.

CHAPTER 51
Twm was off to the hospital as soon as he and Sioned had unpacked, which left the three of us to find our own balance in relative calm. To be honest, the more I sat with my old friend, the easier it got, and I caught Sioned smiling indulgently over her tea a couple of times, just as she caught me watching her.

“It is a revelation, isn’t it, Diane?”

“Um?”

CHAPTER 49
We drove away as quietly as we could, and it was a few minutes of travel before I asked the obvious question.

“What about Deb?”

Paula laughed, but it was strained.

“Oh, she’ll be fine. They’ll take her back to the club. Proper bunkhouse and stuff there. One of them will see her home tomorrow. I think Rosie and her have a lot of catching up to do”

CHAPTER 48
That night, I lay once more with my lover, safe in our home, in my family, and tried to find the words for him. I had already walked him through my interview, but that was a doddle in comparison.

“I want in to see Lexie afterwards, love”

“How is she? I haven’t had time to pop round since she woke up”

“Gemma’s taken over her diet”

CHAPTER 46
“Why did you agree to act as a negotiator, when you have not been trained in such work?”

I could see that the two of them weren’t interested in the easy questions. I gathered as much logic as I could find.

“I don’t think there was any real choice. We had an armed man taking shots at people he didn’t like, time was crucial to clear the roadway outside, as there was a high probability that the rallygoers would contain gang members, and we couldn’t risk moving the crowd while there were live rounds being discharged. Morris had been very specific in asking for me”

CHAPTER 44
“Please explain, for the benefit of the tape, what you mean by ‘patch’, Diane”

“Um. Colours. Club emblem worn on the back of a cut-off. Sleeveless jacket. Very important thing for that sort of club”

“Thank you. What significance did you take from that?”

CHAPTER 42
We spent a long time in bed that night as a family, Rhod deciding that he wanted a cuddle in the night, which limited the conversation a little, though Blake did steer us through it with some artful use of euphemism and long words. I wanted our little boy to sleep soundly that night, even if I couldn’t. My sleep wasn’t encouraged by the fact that Rhod’s entry had allowed a small furry buzz-machine into the room, so our bed was rather full.