Autobiographical

a romantic dream?

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so last night I dreamed I was on stage for an award ceremony, and my co-presenter, who was a guy I knew in high school, leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek
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I looked at him, and said he knew I used to be a guy, and he just smiled at me.

Don't ask me folks, my brain must have been reading romance stories, or something

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good news from the swallowing clinic

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So I saw the swallowing clinic today, and it was good news.

The first thing was they think they figured out what happened. When I last had Covid, the muscles in my throat got loose at the same time as the nerves lost their connection.

Then they took some x-rays, and the system has improved greatly

Not all the way back, but much better than the last time they had checked.

They recommended that I continue to take small sips and bites, and to periodically clear my throat in case anything had gotten stuck.

Overall, I feel encouraged.

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apologies in advance

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maybe because I've been dealing with more physical challenges, but my PTSD has really been raging lately.

I may end up treating it the only way I know - write a story about it.

If I do, apologies in advance because it probably wont be nice and fluffy.

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yet another dream to share

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Okay so dream time again.

Last night, I dreamed I was a kid again, and I was at some kind of summer camp. The first part of the the dream had me using a ray gun, and telling someone the gun aimed itself, and therefore almost never missed.

The second part was after we played for a while, we were called back to participate in a sharing time, and any excitement I had during the ray gun time disappeared.

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Well, finally!

When I started this morning it was a 'chilly' 28C in here. I have managed to finish and tartify the next chapter of VotV so it is up for your enjoyment. Now it is 32C and things are getting a bit too much even for me, let alone the equipment.

I'm sorry everything has taken so long but Real Life(tm), you know? Assuming the weather breaks, and I don't get burnt out of my home, then things should become a little easier in the next month or so.

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got a little lucky yesterday

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okay so yesterday Mom and I went to a laundromat to do our clothes.

And just as we had pulled out our stuff from the dryers and had started to fold them, a rainstorm opened up seemingly right over our head. The water poured down until there was ankle deep water outside the door of the place, and then a lightning bolt must have hit a nearby transformer as the place went dark and all the machines stopped working.

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Cosplay Words To Costumes

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Amazing what we as writers do with words and stories, these people do with cloth, materials, and another kind of skill. Some of those costumes must be extremely hot, suffocating, and yet the persons inside are so enthusiastically dedicated they will suffer to showcase their talent to the admiring public. In a way, all of us wish to present an image to the family, friends, general public. Whether we dress up, dress down, or just slip something on, consciously, unconsciously we are presenting an image.

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spent a day with Sharon and Sam

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okay, so yesterday I finally got to spend some time with Sharon and Sam for the first time since I got home from the hospital.

We went to the Muttart Conservatory, which is one of the most beautiful and most relaxing places in Edmonton.

Best moment though was while we were waiting at a bank, and Sharon leaned into me saying she had forgotten how good a pillow I make.

It was a bit of a long day, and I'm paying for it with a forced quiet day today, but still, worth it.

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40 years today.

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It was forty years today that I changed my lifestyle, I didn't even know if I'd still be alive 40 years later. I'm a very different person than I was then. Then I was very nervous about going into work as the new me and what my colleagues would think. Thankfully, it went well and here I still am surviving 2 strokes, type 2 diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis and now old age. The arthritis is giving me hell at the moment, but I still here and hope to be for quite a while. I've made lots of friends and I thank Auntie Erin for the chance to post here, it's a great community. Love to all.

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I dont think my subconscious likes me very much

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So I had this dream where I was working in a warehouse basement (alone, for some reason), and a group of thieves came in to steal the stuff.

I tried my best to stop them, I threw things at them I took swings with whatever I could find, I hid stuff from them, I even jumped on them.

It was not only ineffective, they didn't seem to even mind.

They found me amusing instead of even being a nuisance.

I kept on trying anyway, so I guess that's something.

I ... don't think my subconscious likes me very much ...

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Mumps

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As most of the world’s Northern Hemisphere is suffering through a record-breaking heatwave (it reached 101 degrees Fahrenheit yesterday in New York City where I live), my mind leaps back (whoosh sound effect) to this date in July 1966, exactly 60 years ago.

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Apology

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Hey all, I’m currently out of the area on vacation with Aimee and the NinjaPotato.

We had a hardware failure that I mostly bypassed but is still causing some issues and I can’t be there in person to fix it.

With luck we will be home in a few days and I will be able to nip this in the bud.

HuGs
-Piper

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some bad news from my doctor

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so I got the results of an x-ray on my shoulder back, and its not good. the words "severe arthritis" was mentioned, and at that point my brain kind of blacked out.

I need to ask my province's disability fund if they will cover physiotherapy, which considering they are busy trying to force disabled people who cant work to work anyway, I am not hopeful.

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dreaming of failure

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I am not gonna claim to be any sort of expert on dreams, but when the same theme shows up in every dream for a week, I am going to assume my brain is trying to tell me something.

Each dream was different in terms of the setting, the details, but they all had 1 thing in common - I was failing at whatever the task was.

I failed in classes in school, I failed to connect to my classmates, I failed at 2 different jobs, I even failed at 2 different relationships - one with a girl, and one, surprisingly, with a boy.

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I can start a story, but can I finish one?

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I came up with a story idea a couple of days ago, but when I went to try and write it out, I ran into the same problem I have been dealing with for a while - I get to a point, and I just run out of steam.

I have about a dozen stories in more or less the same condition, but I am wondering if this is why I favor flash fiction - one way to get around the sticking point is to just end the story.

I am not desperate enough to try AI, but I am not sure what I can do.

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I have lost another battle against my body

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From the moment I decided to attempt to bring Dorothy to life, I have been fighting against my body.

It took massive amounts of female hormones to finally quell the male ones in my body, and that was only the first battle.

Well, yesterday, I had to acknowledge my defeat in the area of clothing - specifically, panties.

I had bought some panties several months back, and I am giving up on them.

my big belly makes getting something to fit a struggle at the best of times, but my male parts make the whole thing a joke.

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we humans haven't changed all that much

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I think its wonderful that thousands of years ago, humans gave cute nicknames to pets, wrote each other love letters, made complaints about not being paid enough, and wrote graffiti on walls.

We really haven't changed all that much.

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A Damned NIce Thing

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It has been a damned serious business... Blucher and I have lost 30,000 men. It has been a damned nice thing — the nearest run thing you ever saw in your life. … By God! I don't think it would have been done if I had not been there. {Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington, spoken to Arthur Creavey in an interview after the Battle of Waterloo.}

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saw the lung doctor today

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So I saw the lung specialist today, and it was mixed news.

On the one hand, she listened to my breathing, and it sounds good.

On the other hand, the x-rays they took show that my right lung has not fully re-inflated yet, and I still have a little bit of gunk in there, in an awkward spot where they wouldn't be able to drain it.

so nothing for it but to try and rest and take it easy a little longer.

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does this blog do any good?

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I don't know how many people read this blog, but if you have, and if I have ever posted something that made your day a little better, I'd appreciate it if you would say so, cause honestly I feel like I'm not doing anything worthwhile.

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Under The Rainbow: Why the Perm Matters | QueerDispatch

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People sometimes joke about the perm.

Or ask why it matters so much.

The truth is… it’s not really about the hairstyle itself.

Over time, I realized something:
A lot of trans people don’t just mourn being denied acceptance.

We mourn versions of ourselves we never got to openly become.

I can still picture the girl I thought I would have been growing up:
floofy dresses, pigtails, bangs, braids, curly hair bouncing everywhere.

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