Let me start this out by saying I, personally, am in a good place right now despite everything. This is not the blog post I wanted to make at Christmas time and my TopShelf anniversary, but it's the post that I need to make.
If you're struggling with life, especially at this time of year, you don't have to suffer alone. I need you, anyone, everyone, to understand this. Mental health issues aren't a sign of weakness that needs to be tucked away like an ugly Christmas sweater your grandma gave you when you were five.
If you need help right now, call or text the 988 lifeline. This is a completely free service no matter how major or minor.
So, the reason I felt compelled to make this post is that I've had another death in my extended family this past Monday. At first, everyone we asked told us it was very sudden, they had no idea she was even sicck, the usual platitudes, but we dug into it, and we VERY QUICKLY found out that she was very sick. Three weeks ago she made a post on Facebook that her blood sugar was stuck at 300, and that even taking insulin wasn't bringing it down.
Despite several well meaning responses advising her to get to a hospital, to drink water, to walk around, the usual things that really can help with a diabetic episode like this (I know, I'm type 2 myself) she, apparently, just stopped posting entirely after that. Fast forward to this past Monday when her husband tried to wake her up, and she was unresponsive. She had passed in her sleep, complications from her diabetes.
What does this have to do with depression? A lot, actually, because I've seen this pattern before. I watched my dad go down the same path. If not for his "sudden and unexpected" death I would have wound up in the same situation, ignoring my own health because it's just easier not to struggle when you're already down, and feel like there's no way you can ever find your way back up again.
Please, if this resonates with you, if you're struggling, help is available. All it takes is a simple text. You don't have to commit to counseling. No one is going to lock you away in a mental hospital. But you only live once, and no one deserves to suffer in silence and alone.
I'm not asking you to seek help because suicide is a sin or whatever I'm not asking you to think of your friends and family. I'm asking you to think of yourself and your own happiness. Because, yes, you CAN be happy. I know it can feel like you can't, but you really can. <3
Happy Holidays, y'all :)
Comments
Useful thought
A very useful thought I found on the Net many years ago, and that I pinned to the wall above my workspace for almost as many years:
Neurodivergence has many symptoms that can be very easily confused with depression. But the underlying cause, as well as the treatment approach, is almost diametrically opposite. We need time and space to be alone, in order to recover from constant stimuli overloading! But we also need to be aware of the fact, that we can very easily fall into loneliness. We need time to be alone, but becoming lonely is detrimental to our health.
Finding the right accommodations and understanding from those around us, can at times be just as much of a struggle as the sensory overload that [finally] caused our meltdown to begin with!
For those of us, who have to rely on [professional] helpers outside of our immediate social circle to manage and regulate our [mental] health in the chaos of everyday sensory overload, the holidays at the end of each calendar year pose an extra big challenge. Because the helpers we so desperately rely on are not [easily] reachable, due holidays being non-working days or outright closures for the whole season from before Christmas until after New Year's.
For those who enjoy a stable phase in their mental health, PLEASE spare some time for those who are struggling and reach out in some tangible and significant way. A letter written on a physical piece of paper (definitely NOT in digital electronic form) can have a HUGE positive impact. A personal visit and a listening ear can also be a big boon for a lonely person, though you might also have to overcome some strong self-defense protections that result from being misunderstood, bullied, mobbed and outcast for a long time.
I can recommend two stories from this site that aptly illustrate how genuine friendships can save lives. Both stories are also in my personal library as a virtual pick-me-up and a vicarious friendship that overcomes adversities. I tend to re-read them both about once a year for a morale boost. Thank you to Alecia Snowfall for crafting these uplifting stories:
Wishing you and every reader here on BigCloset all the best during this challenging holiday season.
Jessica Nicole Belmonte