People sometimes joke about the perm.

Or ask why it matters so much.

The truth is… it’s not really about the hairstyle itself.

Over time, I realized something:
A lot of trans people don’t just mourn being denied acceptance.

We mourn versions of ourselves we never got to openly become.

I can still picture the girl I thought I would have been growing up:
floofy dresses, pigtails, bangs, braids, curly hair bouncing everywhere.

This week’s Under The Rainbow is deeply personal, but I think a lot of people — trans or not — may understand the feeling of reconnecting with pieces of yourself that were buried for a very long time.

Read the full story at QueerDispatch.