"Someone who loves to dress in women's clothes," to me, ties no aspect of gender of the wearer themselves into things. It describes, to me, someone who isn't worried about 'passing,' about behavior or about how the clothes reflect on who they are and how they should act.

"Someone who loves to dress as a woman," on the other hand, has a subtly different connotation. It describes a desire for the end goal to be an appearance that matches the appearance norms of one sex rather than the other, and would more easily equate to changes in behavior in order to enhance their illusion.

Most drag queens are "someone who loves to dress in women's clothes." Most. Their goal isn't to pass AS women, but to use those clothes as part of an expression of their aspect of masculinity: it might not be stereotypical masculinity, but it is nevertheless part of what they consider an inherently male persona. While this can change over time, I knew several drag queens at one time who would dress up to go out most nights, and were 'queens,' but had no qualms about trying to truly pass or about being happily gay men. They liked the trappings and sexuality associated with the clothes, but didn't care about the gender expression often tied to them.

I would argue the second description is more appropriate for the majority of the people who visit here, with its association of reverence for/admiration of the gender the clothes are typically identified with, and its connotation that those associations hold more significant meaning than simply something that makes you look or feel attractive. For many transwomen -- whether they desire to transition or not -- those inherent aspects, not of sexuality, but of *femininity,* are very important. What you're wearing isn't about being a man in women's clothing, but about being a woman in the eyes of the world around you. To me, that speaks more of a desire to embrace not just the physical trappings, but many of the societal ones of the role as well.

To stick with the drag queen angle here:

When I think "someone who loves to dress in women's clothes," I think of Hugo Weaving in 'Priscilla: Queen of the Desert,' sitting in the hospital in a massive chandelier gown and smoking a cigar. When I think "someone who loves to dress as a woman," I instead think of Patrick Swayze in 'To Wong Foo,' wherein his character is doing more than just wearing the clothes, but embracing a great number of other elements they feel are inherent trappings of the feminine state. It's an OVERSTATED version of femininity, to be sure, but it's as much part of their dressing up as the clothes themselves.

Of course, none of this is limited to MEN in women's clothing.

There are plenty of women I know who love to wear pretty clothes, but don't bother with all the other guff that goes along with it. My mom's makeup box includes eye shadows and blushers she's had since the mid-nineties and never uses. You wear hose because you don't wanna bother shaving your legs this week. You certainly don't bother to change your nail polish to match the outfit if it isn't already half chipped off. Never once in my family have I ever seen anyone smooth their skirt when they sat down, cross their legs at the ankle and kink their knees to the side. Matching your purse to your outfit? Why when you've been using the same brown bag with the nail polish down the side for ten years!

On the other hand, I've known plenty of women who loved to dress as women, go the full length with the hair and makeup and everything else. They would behave differently when dressed up, more femininely and often more demure, especially if they were dressed up for something like church or a wedding. The clothing was as much about the matching attitude as anything else.

And I don't think either of those ways of going about it are wrong.

Clothes are just clothes: it's what they mean to the wearer that changes their context. If I put Dwayne Johnson in a flirty little halter sundress he's not suddenly going to be a woman, or feel compelled to act like one. If I put Selena Gomez in a lumberjack outfit and glued a beard on her she's not going to miraculously start scratching herself in public and trying to pick up women at the local watering hole. The way we look at the things we wear, that context we apply TO wearing them, means a lot.

Right now I'm sitting at my desk wearing a tee and shorts. They're both pretty generic cotton, but yes, they came from the men's department. Underneath them I have on . . . well, you don't need to know the details of my undergarments, but they definitively did *not* come from the men's department. My legs are shaved, my hair is nice and soft and loose, and I'm considering doing my nails.

The clothes are MY clothes, and I am a woman. That makes them, for all intents and purposes, women's clothes, does it not? And if, when I eventually have a boyfriend, I decide it would be cute to wear one of his work shirts, rolled up and hanging loose on me, would that not still be me dressed as a woman?

It's all a matter of perspective.

Melanie E.