I met up with Mike (my angel) who takes Leeanna out into the big bad world. We first went out on short walks after dark only. Last year this progressed to being out in the day in quite out of the way locations. Then late last year going to places where the were a small number of people.
Last weekend, we visited a small WW2 Museum and a very busy castle.
The museum we visited on the Saturday had 5 rooms and there were around 20 people there. I wanted a couple of commemorative plates and asked Mike to do the talking. The guy in the shop asked me a few questions and I had to interact in a limited way. The most I had done before that was the odd "excuse me" when trying to get through a line once. For the hour or so we spent at the museum , I did not detect any strange looks. We sat outside and had coffee and cake. I did not feel comfortable going inside the cafe as it was very small.
This is me in front of a display
I wore leggings and a thin woollen top. Women never seem to wear anything but leggings and jeans in the UK at weekends.
On Sunday we went to Bodiam castle. This was very busy, and I was nervous at first, but soon calmed down as I seemed to be passing OK. I think most people don't take close looks at anyone they see unless something is out of place.
I took a selfie inside. There were probably 50 to 70 people there.
I seemed to pass without problems, until we walked around the moat before we left. An old grey haired lady seemed to give me a very lingering look as we walked pass her.
Later sitting having a coffee, Mike said one man at another table was looking at me. I am assuming I was being "read". I really am not sure. One thing I thought of, was that Mike is about 15 years older than me. Dressed as Leeanna with makeup on I think I look like a women in her 40's. I am 63. I think that the wig I wear may be too young for me. I do have another that makes me look more middle aged.
I am not trying to look good. I am trying to just blend in and look very unremarkable and boring . Not worth a second glance. I have heard that older women say they feel invisible. That would suit me fine.
This is the other wig
It seems to change my apparent age by around 10 years,
I wonder if anyone had any advice on this. Which one make me more invisible.
I had to use the ladies loo at the castle. I am always a little scared when doing this. I walked in and every stall was occupied. I nearly walked back out , then one became vacant. As I washed my hands there were several other women doing the same. I did not seem to cause any suspicion or alarm. As usual no women were hurt or upset during this process. Sorry J K Rowling
Comments
Accept Yourself
Hon, you must accept yourself so others will. I can't say this enough as we as individuals broadcast who we are and our own self aware to all others around us. The one who comes up bubbling with joy and happiness about something great causes a chain reaction as everyone around starts smiling. Just the opposite of the one who is scared, frightened and everyone else around tightens up, pulls in emotions.
These are non verbal, invisible signals every human is broadcasting to everyone else around. And so few understand nor realize it is a natural common trait humans have. The one signal all trans should be silently broadcasting is calm, self assurance, this is me, the real deal. It's the man or woman who walks into a meeting and everyone realizes without conscience thought, this person is a well of peace, harmony, and strength we want to get closer to.
Present your best and stop thinking about what others may be thinking. As long as one worries about what others see or think there can never be the self confidence one needs to be themself. I never did grasp the old actor's saying, "when nervous imagine all the audience naked." I guess it works for some so might give it a try. Unless you are auditioning for a job stop thinking about what the other person might be thinking. Just give life your best and try for the brass ring on the Merry Go Round.
Hugs Leeanna
Barb
Life is a gift, don't waste it wishing, live it.
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
Thanks Barb. When I think
Thanks Barb. When I think about it, when I am in male mode, which is 99.9% of my life, I am not looking for anyone giving me a hard look. If I do notice. I probably think they like to look of me or they think they know me.
Probably the act at looking at someone to see if they are looking at me probably causes them to look. Over the the 2 days as Leeanna, I must have been seen by hundreds of people and totally ignored. Which is fine by me. It is a passive form of acceptance. I will take you advice and be more confident . Thanks
Leeanna
Self-Acceptance is the key
As I have said before in other comments: I have found that self-acceptance seems to be the key to social passing.
Another factor is blending in. As you stated dress to blend in, as well as dress your age.
As you noted for the UK, I have also observed a similar trend in Germany. Women these days tend to dress rather on the masculine side of the fashion spectrum, with nearly 90% going for the bifurcated look. I am currently moving in social settings that are overwhelmingly populated by females, and more often that not, I am the only person in non-bifurcated clothing.
Given that a waistband, belt or waist-seam will drive me crazy with itching within an hour or two, I have to wear dresses with no horizontal seam between the bust and the hip. So I have opted for the so-called modest fashion, where the skirt reaches between mid-calf and ankle, in primarily muted or darker colors. But with a healthy portion of self-confidence, self-acceptance and self-assurance I am pretty consistently accepted as the feminine person that I present.
Unless you are deliberately provocative, you should have little to no problem with other people on the streets. Even when others realize that you are maybe not quite all that you seem. Just keep a healthy dose of: „this is me, deal with it!“
Thanks Jessica. I think I am
Thanks Jessica. I think I am a little paranoid due to my nerves. I probably still have the feeling in the back of my mind that what I am doing is wrong. I know that it is all totally fine and legal. Well that is until the government in the UK come up with some odd unenforceable law about biological males in female "spaces".
The last trip was by far the most public. I hope after a few more I will be more confident. When I first went out , I would wear dresses and calf length skirts. Looking around I saw that I would almost never see any women in anything other than slacks, leggings or jeans. Mike pointed it out several times to me that women just don't wear skirts most of the time, So now I never go out in one. We even did a count up once when we we going through a small town I think we saw one out of twenty plus that wasn't wearing jeans or leggings.
I think for most it is mostly tops, jeans or leggings, Only summertime has women wearing dresses and skirts. I have a rash on my shin caused by sunburn when I was in my 20's, so bare legs are out for me,
I do find the clear glasses break up some of the masculine features on my face. So I will keep those.
Leeanna
Oh deariest Leanna
I could mirror what BarbieLee said and tell you that you need to have a lot of self-love.
But the most important thing is that if you care too much about what the world thinks, you get into your own head and stop living the way you want to live. We all come into this world, and our paths are set. We just have to walk it. But then, unexpectedly, as we live our lives, we understand so much about ourselves and who we really are. And then suddenly we see a fork in the path. Taking the road that you want is a decision. Just like every decision we make in our lives helps shape who we are. So it's the journey that matters. You will meet hundreds of people on the way. I would say that out of those 100, there will be some who look at you like you are a freak, and then there will be those who don't look at you again. Then there will be those exceptional few who won't just see you for who you are but will celebrate who you are. And when you get lucky there will be that one person who will not just celebrate you for you but want to a partner in that journey. Everyone else who doesn't understand that is not worth thinking about, even a little bit. It's like static on the radio; it will get filtered out, and a beautiful song will come on, making you feel happy.
I applaud you for going out and about. Seeing the world with Mike (who is perhaps that 1 special person in your life right now... i am assuming pleas correct me if i am wrong) is a wonderful thing and I hope you build the courage to do it as often as you can. It's what I tried to show in The Girl I Undressed.
Wishing you all the best.
Love
Emma,