CHAPTER 2
He was teasing, of course, or at least I hoped so. To my surprise, Alwen bit back, albeit gently.

“Dai, if I am going to be walking barefoot on sand, I want it to be warm”

“Ah, after thirty seconds in that water, you won’t notice”

“After thirty seconds more I’ll be looking at frostbite! Nope, if you get me into water, it has to be coconut palm and coral reef country. Water temperature in the twenties at least, and I mean centigrade not Fahrenheit. No jokes about unwanted body parts, okay? Where are you and Jen off to next, Amina?”

“Oh, the Canaries, again, for all those things that begin with ‘S’. Sun, sea, sand… and of course the most important one”

Omar looked at Scott, and that lad started the guessing.

“Snorkelling? Snogs? Shagging?”

“Sangria, you little man of one-track thoughts”

She paused for a second before adding, “It’s great for cooling off after the passionate bits. Or maybe I mean cooling the passionate bits off afterwards. Same thing, really”

I added my limited contribution.

“What if I don’t want to drink that stuff, love?”

“All the more for me, then. Don’t mind!”

I looked across to Lil, who was slumped comfortably against my namesake, and deliberately chuckled.

“Tom and Connie, now they’re almost as predictable. Static caravan, out by Tenby, but then they’ve got their dogs”

Lil shuddered.

“Not one of those monster sites, all cars and plastic?”

“No, not them. One of our colleagues, his cousin’s got a farm out there. Looks after their van out of season. Now, I know Dai will be off to that Mad Jorka, and the boys here to Sitges or wherever, so where are you two looking at?”

That was when Lil surprised me by blushing, which was as far from her normal style as I would have thought possible. Move on quickly, woman; I scrambled out some nonsense.

“And I assume that actually WILL be Barry! Anyway, clock’s in overtime, so some of us need to get gone. Tom and me, we’re on a late turn next week, so we can’t quiz and no, this particular married couple will not be entering Caroline Street tonight for extras”

Amina raised a hand.

“Only because half of this particular married couple filled the fridge with samosas earlier!”

Marlene was still insisting on calling taxis for late departures, so we were actually driven well away from Chippy Lane, and my wife’s only comment during the ride was a terse “I’ll let you know later, love”

Key in door, chill already starting to bite, and Amina grabbed the bathroom as I checked for any fresh mail. I set two stacked plates carrying a couple of samosas next to the bed, and as she emerged in a long jersey nighty, I took her place to do my teeth and change into my own frumpiness. So much for romance and all that talk about bedroom shoes. She still warmed my side of the bed first, though. I wriggled under the duvet, sitting against the headboard as she passed me one of the plates, with a quiet “Lil, love”

“What about her? Good or bad?”

“Honestly? No idea. She’s… Where are we, Jen? Us two, I mean. Long nighties, snacks in bed; not exactly what the stories would be depicting, is it?”

“You complaining?”

“Course not. Comfy as a comfy thing, this, me. Lil was… Going to start again, love. Lil wanted to ask how we got on, as a couple. As a woman couple, yeah?”

She bit into her samosa, making sure all the flakes went onto the plate or into her mouth, chewed for a while, then swallowed.

“Complicated stuff, Jen. She’s been running over it all for months. A lot of ‘Am I really gay?’ shit, and that then comes with a massive guilt trip cause of her woman’s origins, and no jokes about England, just now., and so there am I, doing PR for the two of us, and don’t worry”

She finished her samosa before turning back to me.

“We had our excitement, love. I like to think we still can. Sod it: we still do. What I was trying to get across to her is the bit about comfort, and she was a bit dreamy-face about that. It was just one thing she asked that worried me slightly, and that was ‘how do you know it’s going to turn out like that?’, and I can’t answer that one fairly. Got suspicions, me, and can’t risk boat-rocking”

“What are you thinking, love?”

“That she’s fallen hard, but she’s looking at comfier shoes than I was on about. And I don’t think she’s had the appropriate words with the other important person, at least not yet”

“Confidence a bit lacking, you think?”

“Oh, most certainly. Hang on a sec”

She set her plate down, reached across for mine and set it on hers, then slithered down into the bed.

“Snuggle, love, and a few things that might sound wrong, so just let me speak, and no jokes, aye?”

I did as asked, and she cuddled into me, head on my chest.

“Lil’s looking at her fiftieth in a very few years, love, and she’s wondering where she’ll be. She looks at us, and she’s, well, I can’t call it jealous, but she’s wondering”

“And what does Jenny say?”

A tighter hug.

“I don’t think she’s asked, love”

“Shit. How much talking have you two done? Old flame stuff?”

“Um, sort of. All a long time ago, love”

Bite back on that, woman. She’s here, and all that’s long over. Warm arms in the present.

“I know that, my love. Her other half?”

“Ah, usual assumptions there, Jen. Suppose it comes from how they met.. I mean, they’re suited, but I think Lil’s seeing it all as her picking up someone vulnerable, can it last, all that shit”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. Sorry. See if I have this right, okay?”

“Okay”

“Lil is scared of old age on her own, sees us as the bloody gold standard, but doesn’t believe her girly would be up for that?”

“Yes, basically”

“Oh for fuck’s sake. And she hasn’t asked Jenny?”

“She’s frightened of the answer, love. Lil has a good set of people skills, but she’s a bit like that old socket set of mine. Missing some key bits. Seen it with her before, too many times”

“You been watching her?”

“Not like that. Bit old for me, and then I’m happy where I am, of course. It’s just that she does the same thing each time, and hangs back, and sometimes I don’t think she realises till the woman’s given up and moved on”

“You’re talking about something haven changed, aren’t you?”

“Talking about Jenny, love. Sometimes, when we’ve planned a night out, you don’t turn up till late---shush. I know it’s the job; it’s why I carry a book. When Jen comes over, it can be the same for her, almost, if the bar’s busy. We talk”

“You talk to anybody, love”

“Yup. It’s a skill, one that’s good for work, so once again, shush. Woman’s been in dark places. Lil and her, wasn’t something that should have happened. She was only in the city by chance; meant to be somewhere else”

“Where?”

“Weymouth”

“Oh dear. Dodged a bullet there, then”

“Shush, I said. Got her own worries, and they’re sort of parallel to Lil’s, in that she thinks she’s pushing things, presuming on her welcome and all that crap”

“And?”

“She’s head over, as far as I can tell. Absolutely hooked, but worried Lil isn’t. Same old dance, love”

“Why am I now worried you are having Ideas?”

“Because you know me, love. I have had words already”

“Who with?”

“Marlene, for starters, and then our hosts. Plus Alwen. Ox and the rest. And Jenny”

“Which leaves Lil, I assume?”

“Yeah. Needed to be sure Jen had the necessaries first, and she has. I know Lil went off to Ibiza a couple or three years ago, so am assuming for now”

She snuggled in properly after turning out the bedside light.

“It’ll work or it won’t, no you-me-donkey stuff there. Time for one of the Big Esses, love”

“You got sand in the bed?”

“No, but I need sleep”

I took the hint.

Tom and I were on mid shifts for the next four days, before that switch to late turn, and there was enough variety in the week to keep us ticking along, as well as the usual banter. We were sitting just off the M4 when he brought up photography.

“Connie wouldn’t accept that quiz answer, Jen! Spent three days trying to prove it was bollocks”

He chuckled.

“Geometry is a bloke thing, and the spherical version is a non-starter for her. I finally managed to explain it by cutting an orange in half after drawing a map on it. God forbid I ever have to explain Great Circle routes”

He guffawed then, and that one I understood.

“You’ve been wasting time looking at the flerf sites, haven’t you?”

“Guilty as charged. Latest stuff is hilarious—you can see over the horizon, but only if you’re using a specific make and model of electronic camera”

“Mate, you need to get out more”

“Fills the time, Jen. Hang on: go ahead, Central”

“Where you at, One Five?”

“Asda’s by the traffic management centre, Control”

“Can you start making way towards the Tesco Express at the junction of Northern Avenue and Ty’n y Parc Road? RTC. One reported casualty. Traffic car in attendance”

I took the mike from Tom after clicking in my seat belt, and took over comms.

“What do we have, Control?”

“Potential crush injury, lower leg. Victim not of interest to our colleagues in Traffic, so far”

“So far. Um, five to ten minutes ETA, Control”

“Understood. We’ll confirm that with Traffic and ARU”

I clicked off the mike.

“ARU, Tom? We got naughties as well?”

“Sounds like it. Armed units like to back up Traffic, especially if they’ve not had raw meat for a while. Let’s just get there first, aye? Not quiz night”

He set the disco going as we did a full circuit pf the Coryton Gyratory, only a couple of idiots needing an audible reminder, and then down the long straight of Northern Avenue, the traffic not actually backing up in the way I had expected.

“Central Foxtrot One Five, ETA two minutes, precise location?”

“Exit slip onto Ty’n y Parc from petrol station. Confirm that is the casualty’s current position”

I clicked off again.

“Odd spot for a bilk, Tom”

“Aye, but they said our subject isn’t of interest”

“No schadenfreude, then. Coming up to the lights now; I’ll do a Huey in the exit if there’s room, if not I’ll come in from the pumps”

“Got that. Control, one five: show us on scene”

There was room to cut in past the big sign, and Tom got us turned so that we had full rear access for the lift, and as soon as the wagon was stopped, I was out, Big Green Bag in hand. Four cars in sight, the rearmost being a marked traffic car. Another was a Volvo, with a BMW X5, each of which showed blue lights, while wedged into their embrace was a red and rather elderly Nissan 4X4. Two men were in cuffs, and being searched, and as one of the Officers holding them was our old friend Barry, the scrote’s feet were only technically on the ground. I looked around for Bryn, who was with me almost immediately.

“SP, love?”

“Proactive team there, on an ANPR cruise. Hit for history of bilking and cloned plates. We tucked in to follow, marked unit there joined us for the tug, and they were already at the pumps. We arrived, they rammed the proactive boys—might want to check them over”

“Casualty?”

“Member of public, on his way in to pay for his juice and pick up some shopping. Boys in the Nissan clipped a wall, and Mr Public, before we stopped playing nice and Barry took hm into the wall there. Casualty’s behind the Volvo”

Not good, at first sight, and even worse at second. Tom was quickly with me, then immediately away, to put in a call to our trauma team, while I went through the check list and introductions.

“Now, Naz, I’m Jen. Tom’s my mate. Nice policeman here says we can look after you now, but I need to know a few things first. Have you hit your head at all in this?”

“No, Miss”

“Good. Do you have any pain?”

“Oh yes!”

“On a scale of one to ten, where one is the wrong flavour of mint, and ten…”

“TEN!”

I was already running checks on him, of course, trying not to look too closely at his leg just then, as there was no obvious blood flow. Tom had his own routine.

“Oxy at 84, Jen. Want me to add some gas as well?”

“Please. Naz? Going to put a mask on you. Same sort of thing we give expecting mothers. You’re not pregnant, are you?”

A hint of a laugh. He was going to need a lot more than a hint when that leg came off.