Dear Readers, Here is a new chapter. This novel is coming to a close. Before the story ends, what would you like to see? I would appreciate any feedback. Constructive criticism is important to me as I am rewriting this story. Thanks.

Chapter Twenty

Teri looked out the window and shook her head, then she turned back to her audience of two. “The real me? That’s almost funny. I’m a stew. Start with a scrawny chicken, throw it in a pot, and keep adding more until it overflows. Terry was never real, just a skinny kid who tried his best, but never measured up.”

She wiped one eye to stop the tear, not wanting to ruin her makeup. Makeup. She’d been using less. Her face was changing. The new influx of hormones had subtly altered how she looked. She would find herself grinning at her teen-like cuteness—so laughably girly. Her mind raced as she wondered if this was what she wanted.

You’re eighteen, just a kid. What do you know?

She thought about the real women she knew. Tiffany was twenty-four and stunning. She’d learned to highlight her best features so that it came naturally to her. Those blue eyes that popped. Her high cheekbones, full lips, and perfectly straight ash-blond hair made her a portrait.

Tiffany knew herself—bright and shiny, playful, loving, and honest. She’d never seen her get angry. Tiffany liked playing the fool, but was smarter than she acted. Teri still got hot flashes when she came close. The woman knew the effect and enjoyed teasing to see her blush.

And then, there was Grace. Her blunt, short hairstyle emphasized her lavender eyes and dark, thick lashes. Her porcelain complexion didn’t need any makeup to look perfect. Her nose and lips made you wonder if anyone could be more beautiful. The disarming smile, flawless white teeth, and sincere laugh left you wondering if she was a goddess among ordinary humans.

Grace was a Buddhist temple of peace and serenity. She was the best listener. Yet, she was an enigma. There was hidden fire. She’d seen the way Gina reacted after they fought or made up. What a strange duo, heat and cool.

Returning to her two-person audience, she pressed on. “Terry loved Jenn. But afraid to step up because his physical body was lacking. And yet, brilliant, gorgeous, and confident Jenn still came after him.”

Teri paused, kissed her on the lips, and smiled before moving on.

“Terry, a singer-songwriter, dreamed of a music conservatory scholarship. Terry, a frail, skinny guy, was hoping to start testosterone treatments so he could romance Jenn.”

“While colleges denied him scholarships, Lisa came home with her band and said. ‘Come hear us perform the songs you wrote for us.’ Terry listened, but heard flaws. Demonstrating arrangements, harmonies, and guitar work led from one practice to another. Until Terry was invited to perform with the Wildcats in front of three hundred fans on a Thursday night.”

Jenn squeezed her arm. “C’mon, baby. Let’s condense this story. Grace is taking us out to lunch, and I’m hungry.”

“Terry dressed up as Tasha, and the band got signed. Dressing up like a girl was weird, but playing with the Cats was amazing. So Terry took the plunge to help the band and make some tuition money.”

“Tasha kept their identity hidden because she was having fun. She was a star on stage, and Jenn enjoyed her. Terry forgot how scared he was of everything. But then, Tasha’s body started changing, and learned the definition of intersex.”

As Teri's estrogen-fueled puberty progressed, Teri kept changing until she had her surgery. As more estrogen flooded her body, Teri transformed, but her insecurities returned.”

Teri looked at Jenn. “I’ve always loved you. But I’m changing. I’ve become a frightened girly-girl. I worry about losing you and becoming someone I don’t recognize.”

She looked at Grace and shook her head. “It’s so strange. Suddenly, I like wearing dresses and putting on makeup. I want to be pretty. But why?”

Jenn’s eyes welled up as she reached for her hand. “Stop. You’re just trying new things. I get the pretty. But Teri’s still arranging music and writing songs for your band. You’re creating a rock opera. You’re talking about touring and making more records.”

Grace smiled. “Jenn’s right. You’re adjusting, embracing your feminine side. But that’s a pendulum swinging freely. You can chill in a tee and sweats while you watch the Phillies. Jenn accepts what’s happening. At eighteen, your lives are just beginning.”

Jenn smiled and hugged her. “You're my Rock Star. And when you need to explore your sexuality, we can do it together, except when you go out on dates.”

Teri’s head turned quickly, “Huh?”

Jenn smiled. “Sure. Remember when Tasha got high and made out with guys? You loved being held in strong arms and want to spread your wings.”

Those words sent panic running through her head. She was having trouble thinking. “You’re kicking me out to have sex with strangers?”

Jenn hugged her. “No! I know you love me. But I don’t want you to regret confining yourself to just our love later on down the road.”

Teri felt her stomach drop. She turned to Grace for understanding. “I hear Jenn’I don’t understand an open relationship. Don’t you and Gina love each other?”

Grace smiled. “More than ever. But love doesn’t mean we’re chained. I like the idea that Gina might have an affair while she’s out on the road. Because then she’ll miss me more.”

Teri shook her head. “How about you? Do you have affairs, too?”

Grace smiled. “I have to draw a line when it comes to revealing my personal life. I can tell you that Gina and I know each other well. And I’m the one who doesn’t want to get married. I believe in an open relationship.”

Teri turned back to Jenn. “You’re rejecting us because I’m the burden.” Teri stood up and turned to them. “I need to go. I’ve lost my appetite.”

Jenn stood up and grabbed her by her forearms. Each word came out like a bullet. “Stop! Stop! Stop! You’re! Not! Listening! You’re not being kicked to the curb. I love you. I just don’t want you to hate me ’cause I’m holding you back. If something spontaneous happens, and you steal a kiss, I’m not your mother, and you don’t need my permission. Do you hear me?”

Teri was turning away. “No. Seeing all those new beautiful people. All the excitement and challenges are giving you power. And whether it’s guys or girls, you want it.”

Jenn suddenly let go of Teri, moved closer, blocking her path. She spoke through gritted teeth. “Dammit, Teri. You’re not listening. All I hear is the pity party. Well, I refuse to fight with you. I love you and want to be with you forever. But stop tearing me down or blaming me. I want your babies. I want us to be happy together forever.”

Teri stood frozen in place. Half of her was listening, while the other half just wanted to sob, cry, and feel sorry for herself. She took a deep breath and nodded. “You’re right. I’m not using my brain, and I’m sorry for blaming you.”

Jenn reached out and hugged her tightly. “It’s all right. I understand. I love you even when your brain and body explode. Hormones suck. Ask me every month how I’ve been feeling since I was fourteen.”

Teri looked in her eyes and understood. She hugged her back and buried her face in Jenn’s neck.

Grace had to wipe her eyes. “Well, this is my first couple's counseling session I’ve had in a long time. But the door is open for both of you. You both deserve credit for listening and reflecting. Now, is anyone hungry? Remember lunch? Let’s talk about the best enchiladas and tacos in Philly.”

As they walked out, Jenn pulled Teri back behind Grace. She wrapped her arms around her, looked her in the eyes, and said, “I love you. I have always loved you.” She stood on her toes and kissed Teri hard on the mouth.

Teri held her tightly and took a deep breath. She sobbed. “I’m sorry to be so needy and losing control. You’re the most important thing in my life.”

Grace was holding the door open to their limo. “Let’s go, kids. Tacos, empanadas, burritos, chiles rellenos.”

They sat in Mr. Denardo’s conference room. It was two o’clock in the afternoon, and Teri felt like she might fall asleep. She whispered to her sister, “I’m tired. Jenn and I had a long session with Grace, and then ate the best Mexican food ever. We definitely have to do concerts in Spain and Portugal this summer.”

Lisa checked her phone. “What time are they showing up?”

“They?”

Lisa smiled. “Jack Dempsey is bringing his girlfriend, too. Her name is Emma. Remember her from New York?”

“Right, the beautiful redhead. But remember that we’ve never met either of them, and we've never been to New York to hear him perform.”

Emma handed Jack her iPad as they rode the train from the city. She opened her word processing program. “Okay, big guy. Here’s where your sperm ended up. I cut and pasted info about their mom and explored these kids' lives. They’re in a big, up-and-coming all-women band called the Wildcats. They’ve been on TV and have a successful album.”

Jack buried himself in the text and read each page twice. As he read, he regretted not being part of this family's life. Looking at the photographs and reading about their work was impressive. He saw that Emma had downloaded their album.

Jack kissed her. “Thanks, this is great stuff.” He pointed to the music app. “Did you bring your earbuds?”

Emma nodded. “Sure, two sets. And a splitter so we could listen to their music together. Ready?”

Jack handed her the iPad and watched as she opened the album app. He grinned when he saw that the cover was the Wildcat tattoo on one of the women's lower backs. “That’s so great that they’re comfortable with their sexuality. One of the women we’re meeting today is intersex.”

“The younger one, Teri.”

At that moment, the album started, and Jack’s eyes widened. The guitars were incredible, and listening to Run, Run, Gone was energizing. After hearing the whole album, he took out his earbuds. “Wow, they are so totally professional. The production is simple and clean. They are the total package.”

Emma smiled. “Are you ready to hear the live side?”

“There’s more? Oh, wow! Sure!”

After listening to the side recorded in New Orleans, Jack spent fifteen minutes reading about the album on Wikipedia. “Hey, I know this producer. He really does a great job. And they’re Warners, huh?”

Emma smiled and kissed his cheek. “There’s a second section I made all about the band and the women, pictures included. Knock yourself out looking at the five of them. But remember who you sleep with.”

When they were led into the law office's conference room, the lawyer followed behind them. “If no one has any objections, I’m going to stay and record all of this.”

Lisa and Teri stood up and watched as Jack Dempsey and his girlfriend entered. Jack immediately extended his hand. “Hi, I’m Jack, and this is my girlfriend, Emma Morgan. We were looking forward to meeting you.”

Lisa shook both of their hands. “I’m Lisa Nelson, and this is my sister Terri. We’ve always wondered about you.

“Really?”

Teri smiled and spoke, “Well, we just heard that our mom and the sperm bank. We always wondered where the other half of our gene pool came from.”

Jack tried to smile. “Have you had a chance to review the physical that I took?”

Lisa grinned. “You passed with flying colors. The DNA test was the last thing we received. And you have access to review the results online.”

Jack squeezed Emma’s hand. “That’s good, because we’re starting a family.”

Those words hit Teri hard. She’d never considered Jack Dempsey using her sperm to start a family. “Uh, congratulations.”

Emma smiled. “Thank you. We’re pretty excited. We’re just getting things in order before we move. We both agreed that babies don’t belong in the Big Apple.”

Lisa turned back to him. “I’ve listened to some of the bands you produced. I enjoyed how each album is different. It’s nice to see you let their talent shine through.”

Jack nodded. “I take pride in letting the band find their own sound before we record.”

Teri agreed. “Good philosophy. It’s a shame when a band’s sound and music get buried under the record company’s need to make money. Lisa’s boyfriend often talks about how their production company chose which original music they could play and record.”

Jack frowned. “Do I know the band?”

Lisa brightened, “Smith was the lead singer in EBR.”

Emma giggled, grabbing Jack’s arm, “Wow! Growing up, I had an enormous crush on those guys. I’ve owned all their music and watched Smith’s movies, even the Zombie one.”

Lisa watched Emma’s reaction. She’d grown used to handling women’s reactions about her boyfriend. “Well, we’re having a barbecue on Saturday. Just having some friends join us. But Smith will be there.”

Emma grinned. “Oh. That sounds like fun. I really enjoyed getting away from the city today. Maybe we can come back again. Just don’t tell Smith, but my favorite hunky guy was Jordy.”

Jack spoke up. “Well, I’d like to meet your mom and close the circle. This is all very surreal to see what happened with my uh, donation. Uh, is that okay to say out loud?”

Emma grabbed his arm. “Maybe. But we all know what you’re talking about. You have to know that Jack was sixteen when he did this. So it’s been twenty-three years.”

Lisa sat up straight. “I’m twenty-two.”

Jack smiled. “I’m thirty-nine.”

Teri was starting to giggle. “This is so awkward just sitting in this office. Can we just go out for fries and a Coke? Maybe in a more relaxed setting? Is that okay, Mr. Denardo?”

Emma sat up straight. “Are you Gina’s father?”

The lawyer nodded. “That’s my girl. Her older sister’s name is Isabella.”

As they all stood up to head out across the street to the Allentown Diner, everyone was feeling much more relaxed.

Jack was excited. “I’d love to meet the band if they’re going to be at this picnic. I just had a chance to listen to both your albums. Honestly, I was blown away. You women are incredible. And you’ve earned all the recognition you’ve received.”

Lisa thanked him. “Well, the Cats have a long history, but before my little sister joined, we were just a bar band. It’s her talent that’s opened those doors.”

Jack was listening. “What are you up to now?”

As they entered, the manager indicated the large horseshoe-shaped table in the back. Teri shook her head and said, “We only need a table for the five of us.”

The manager shrugged and pointed to the front door as Tiffany, Zoe, Gina, and Smith all entered the restaurant. Gina approached and hugged her dad. “Your secretary tipped us off, and well, we were over at Final Cut looking at the third-floor penthouse Mike and Tiff are putting together.”

Still talking and oblivious to the entourage entering, Lisa kept speaking with Jack. “Thanks. We’re on hiatus after our summer tour. Just taking a break.”

Emma was laughing. “I’ve become a fan after seeing your Labor Day efforts and reading about that on your YouTube channel. Please excuse me for prying, but when’s Zoe having her baby?”

Lisa laughed back. “She’s almost there. We’re all waiting for her little Boomer. But speaking about the benefit, did you know that Teri arranged and produced the entire Labor Day event, including the Taylor Swift and Beyoncé segment?”

Jack looked at Teri. “That’s pretty impressive. How long was the show?”

Teri smiled. “Six hours. But we had a week of rehearsals, and most of the talent brought their own sheet music. Phil and I created the arrangements for the Wildcats. But the big finale was all mine.”

Jack was shaking his head. “Your guy Phil hails from the city. We’ve crossed paths before. He’s a cool dude.”

At this point, everyone was together in the back of the diner exchanging introductions and greetings. Lisa smiled at Zoe. “Emma was asking about how you’re doing.”

Zoe did a pirouette. “Oh, just fine for a woman who might give birth at any minute!”

Teri overheard. “Should I be dialing 9-1-1 right now?”

Zoe shook her head as she sat down. “Nah, I think I have time to have a veggie burger before anything else. And you’ve got to see the penthouse Tiffany and Mike are creating high in the sky.”

Gina was nodding. “Every bell and whistle you can imagine. And get this, they’re leaving room for a nursery!”

Tiffany laughed. “Well, Mike was ready to get started after the Wildcats gave him the green light.”

Jack stopped trying to follow their conversation and was happy just listening.

Somewhere along the way, Emma heard that Teri had just finished lunch with her girlfriend and their counselor. Jack interrupted to brag that Emma also had her master’s in counseling.

Teri shook her head. “I love my counselor, seriously love her.”

Gina smirked. “Teri’s talking about loving my girlfriend, who’s also her counselor.” She turned to Emma, “Do you have a practice in New York? Grace is up on East 77th.”

Emma had already tested the room to see how this was going to go over. “No. I’ve got my master's and have a sexual therapist license, too. I have a MyFans porn site where I do my thing.”

Without missing a beat, Gina leaned over and smiled. “I imagine they’re standing in line to watch.”

Emma laughed. “Well, I’m a bit of a disappointment. All I do is change lingerie while I listen and talk. They come to see me in my birthday suit and leave with advice about sexual dysfunction.”

Lisa shook her head. “If you have a Master’s degree, why are you doing porn?”

Emma laughed. “I love it. It gives me total freedom and lots of money. Not the million you got paid for an album or your tour, but it’s really crazy money for a little girl from Montana. And counselors don’t get paid what they’re worth.”

Teri was staring. “And you’re comfortable getting naked in front of strangers?”

Tiffany hugged Teri. “No, Little. Emma works in her bedroom and broadcasts online. No one is in there with her.”

Teri smiled. “Pay-per-view, right?”

“Right. Now, why did Tiffany call you Little? Is it because you’re tall?”

Teri shook her head. “I’m five feet nine inches. No, it’s short for Little Shit, which is the loving nickname Tiffany calls me.”

Tiffany defended herself. “The kid’s eighteen and honestly is the nicest, most diplomatic arranger and musician you could ask for. But she is way too smart and always right.”

Emma giggled. She was having fun. She really liked these women.

Teri whispered. “Do you do adult movies and all that stuff?”

Emma smiled. “No. No sex. I just like talking to guys who look for advice. And I’m kinda proud of my look. So being butt naked while I’m changing is fine. I do have to turn the heat up so no one sees my goose bumps.”

Teri tried to imagine what the beautiful redhead looked like at work and realized that beautiful women still moved her. She shook her head, knowing she was hopeless.

Teri turned and stared at Jack. She wondered what it would have been like if he were her father when she was growing up. It wasn’t important now, but just wondering about life with a nice dad.

After a while, the conversation slowed, and everyone was getting restless. Gina offered to give Emma and Jack a ride back to Philly so they could catch the train back to the city.

“Thanks. That would be great. Next time we visit, I’m renting a car to drive directly to Allentown.”

Teri whispered, “Could I hitch a ride back to West Philly?”

“Sure, babe. While Grace is camping out in Philly, I won’t miss the chance to cuddle with my honey. So I can get you back out here tomorrow to practice.”

As they rode along the highway, Teri looked at Gina and thought about the open relationship dialogue she had with Grace. But she was content to ride along and make idle conversation with Jack and Emma. When they stopped to let her out, both Jack and Emma hugged her goodbye.

Jack looked her in the eyes and smiled. “It is great to meet such a wonderful, talented, beautiful woman.”

Teri smiled. “Hey, don’t forget to come down on Saturday to the barbecue. I’ve heard that Smith makes a mean margarita.”

When Teri came through the door, she called out, but Jenn wasn’t there. She didn’t recall whether she had classes in the afternoon on Thursday and reminded herself to put her schedule on her calendar. She stood there for a few minutes and realized she needed to get busy so her mind wouldn’t start spiraling into wondering where Jenn had gone and with whom.

Taking a deep breath, she got out her tablet and started writing down lyrics for a potential song.

Waking from a dream
Couldn’t quite see
Outside in the forest
Birds chirping

It was warm
And the sun was out
Felt good on her face
And made her smile

Teri laughed because Tiffany would immediately be on her case for writing bubblegum music. She decided to plow on.

Movement in the bushes
Sounded like a dog
But out came a raccoon
Four babies trailing behind

Stood and watched
As they crossed the clearing
Disappearing in the undergrowth
Going on with their day

Going on with their day
Enjoying the sunlight
Walked along further
Going on with my day

After closing her tablet, she smiled, realising that the good way to keep your head square on your shoulders is to bury yourself in music. As she smiled, she realized she’d covered a lot today and was tired. She kicked off her shoes and curled up on the bed, pulling the quilt over her.

She must have been asleep when she felt Jenn getting in with her. Teri turned over, put her arm over her, while she snuggled in. They both slept.

Charlie was enjoying their dinner. His Mom got a good discount on the ready-to-go meals at work, and they were having salmon. “Mom, can you see if Whole Foods is hiring. I decided I needed a full-time job.”

“Sure, Charlie. What’s that about?”

Charlie sighed. “I think I need to be busy and get off my butt. I think I’ve been spending too much time on the computer.”

“How was your day out in the country on Saturday?”

“It was good. I rode an electric bike and had fun. But I feel like being a little more responsible. Who knows? Maybe I’m growing up.”

His mom hugged him. “Good for you. I’ll ask when I get to work tomorrow.”

When Jenn and Teri arrived at the band house on Friday afternoon, they were greeted by Tiffany, Lisa, and Gina, all wearing T-shirts and sweats, dancing in the living room. They had synchronized the stereo with their large-screen TV and were watching an instructor lead them through dance steps.

Gina called out, “C’mon, kids. We’re getting our Ya-Ya’s on by working up a sweat. Go grab some sneakers and join us.”

Teri liked the music they were playing but would have come up with a thousand excuses, starting with ‘I can’t dance,’ until Jenn grabbed her hand and called out, “It looks like fun.”

An hour later, Teri was soaked and breathing hard. She had felt like she had been running in place the whole time, but still wore a smile. She decided it was the catchy tunes that made it enjoyable.

After toweling off, she followed Jenn upstairs. “You know, I’m the most uncoordinated kid in the neighborhood. That might have been my first girly dance lesson. Swinging my arms and shaking my hips was a new experience for me.”

“You looked good, honey. You caught on quickly. You were fun to watch.”

“No, Jenn. You were fun to watch. You looked so sexy shaking your hips and strutting your stuff. I was turned on just watching you. And your smile was infectious. It was obvious you were having fun.”

Jenn wrapped her sweaty arms around Teri and pulled her in tightly. She looked up and brushed her silver hair out of her face. “Tell the truth. Didn’t you feel sexy doing that?”

Teri kissed her face all over, tasting her delicious sweat all over her neck and cheeks. “Yes. I did. How goofy did I look?”

Jenn kissed her back hard and grabbed both her arms, pinning her against the wall. “Goofy? Hardly. I got turned on just watching you letting loose and having fun. We need to do that more often. Now, let’s get naked and make love on the rug. I want to hold down your sweaty body until you scream.”