Gaby Book 28  Balancing Trick by Maddy Bell Copyright© 2023 Madeline Bell

"Are you coming to the funeral?” Dad asked as I shovelled meat salad onto a second brötchen. "Its not compulsory.”
"Is Jules going?”
"If the doctors give her the green light.”

She’s probably getting quite big now with the twins, travelling probably won’t be much fun for her but if she’s going I’ve got no excuse not to.

"Guess I need to book the days at college, I did warn Lisbet earlier in the week.”
"I’ll book the flights this morning, we’ll fly out the day before and come back after the funeral, so its just two days, Wednesday and Thursday.”
"Okay I’ll speak to Lisbet today.”

Whilst it’ll be good to see Gramps and my aunts and uncles, I’d prefer it to be under better circumstances. I’m not even sure what I need to wear, guess I’ll ask Mum when she gets back on Monday. It really does look like we’ll have a real flying visit to Burnham on Sea this time, not that there’s much to see, its hardly Blackpool after all.
 

My mood was a bit down as I waited for the lads and my lift down to Koblenz, despite the promise of a bright, warm day.

"Everything okay?” Max asked as I strapped myself in.
I replied automatically, "Yeah, Nanna’s funeral. I’m really not looking forwards to it, I don’t even know what I should wear.”
"Black,” Freddy piped from up front.
"Well duh, I know that, but pretty much everything I have in black is for the stage or leggings.”
"Might not be appropriate,” he conceded.
"Exactly.”
"You want me to come?” Max offered.
"You know its in England right?”
"Of course.”
"Thanks for offering, Dad’s planning on a smash and grab job so we’re travelling light.”
He shrugged, "Well the offer’s there,”
"Thanks, oh while I think about, you two fancy earning a few euros?”
"I’m always up for that,” Freddy suggested, "Its not shovelling pferde apfel is it?”
"Nope, bit of waiterie type stuff at the Sebenschuh’s, some party thing for the tourist board.”
"Depends if I’m needed at the Schloss,” Max mentioned.
"I’ll have the dates next week.”
"There’s more than one?” Freddy asked.
"Once a fortnight through the summer, they’ll be midweek.”
"Sure your dad can spare you for that Max,” Fred prophesised.
"Go on then, put me down.”

"And another thing,” I started afresh.
"What now?”
"I suppose you know about your cousin’s party?”
"Erm.”
"When were you going to tell me?”
"You’re in trouble there Maxxy boy!” Freddy, loyal friend that he is, crowed.
"Didn’t think you were that keen on going?”
"That’s not the point.”
"So, erm, what’s the problem?”
"The problem is, er,” well to honest, there wasn’t really one, "Are you going, to keep me company.”
"I was gonna skip it, everyone else is going.”
"Oh no, you don’t get out of it that easily, if I’ve gotta go so have you.”
"But you just said.”
"She didn’t say she wasn’t going,” Freddy interrupted.
"Guess I’m going then,” Max sighed, "You coming with us then?”
"Ut uh, we’re racing in the Schwarzwald on the Sunday, so all the team are invited.”
"You’ve been had Max,” Olaf opined.
 

I only have college until lunchtime on Fridays, it hardly seems worth the effort of going down. Still, that's the way it is, I often do some of my coursework before returning to Dernau but with everything going on this week I decided to head straight home, I even managed to get the Express which only stops like twice between Koblenz and Remagen. Anyway, I was back home just turned two.

"You’re early kiddo,” Dad mentioned when he spotted me on the drive.
"Early finish Fridays.”
"I know, but you aren’t often home this time.”
"Couldn’t get my head into ‘Menu Economics’,” I told him as I reached where he had a wheel in pieces on the work bench.
"Sounds grim, you putting the kettle on?”
"I guess, you had lunch?”
"Not as such, had one of those energy bars, I see what you mean about the chocolate now.”
"I’ll put it another way, do you want some lunch?”
"As you’re offering,” he told me with a grin.
"Fifteen minutes.”
"Okay, I can get this hub back together before then.”

I made my way upstairs to the house and after losing my boots in favour of my Birkenstock's, put the kettle on. Now then, lunch. A look in the larder suggested we need to do a food shop tomorrow, the pickings weren’t exactly great, if I make sandwiches there’ll be no bread for tomorrow breakfast, which also ruled out anything on toast.

There was stuff in the freezer but I wanted something quick, if only we had something like those packets of pasta we used to have in Warsop. Then something caught my eye, almost hidden in a corner, one of those long life packets of Rösti that sometimes turn up in the local Lidl. This particular packet had bacon already in it, bit of grated cheese, fry a couple of eggs, yep, that’ll do.

Rösti is of course grated potato which is fried off, sometimes with some chopped up bacon but its a good alternative to pommes with your würst if you are being a bit posher. How did we survive before old Walter brought us potatoes? Probably used swedes or parsnips instead I guess.

These packets have enough for one good portion, you certainly need other stuff on the plate if you are spreading it farther. The kettle was boiled by the time the skillet was hot so I set the tea to mash before getting the food going. The hotter the pan, the better the result, the potato was soon hissing away as the wet was purged, a quick stir to stop it sticking as it browns, grate some cheese on top then out onto the plates.

I was just dry frying the eggs when Dad appeared.

"Smells good.”
"Its out of a packet,” I advised.
"Hey, its food.”
"Tea should be mashed, this’ll be like two minutes.”

Eggs fried, transferred to plate with the cheesy fried tater, et voila, quick lunch. I moved the plates to the table and sat myself down.

"Looks good,” Dad enthused as he poured tea into mugs.
"Its not much.”
"Still better than that energy bar.”
"So what were you doing with the wheel?”
"Thorough service.”
"You don’t normally strip them right down though?”
"True but after the weekend I thought they deserved some tlc.”
"They need it?” I asked before taking a forkful of lunch.
"Bit of grit in some of them, for how long its taken it was worth it, should keep them running sweet until the next time.”
"Could do without a next time in a hurry, my shoes are still not completely dry.”
"You had some paper in them?”
"Uh huh,” I mumbled through a mouthful of egg and stuff.

"So what’re you up to this afternoon,” Pater enquired stacking the cleared crockery a few minutes later.
"Was gonna go for a ride but I don’t really feel like it,” I admitted.
"You could give me a hand cleaning the camper, its in a bit of a state after the weekend.”

It didn’t look too bad when I came in but the combination of wet autobahns and wet cyclists probably does mean a good fettle is in order.

"By hand? Its massive,” I pointed out.
"Be daft, I’m taking it down to the truck wash.”

"I’ll get Mand to give me a hand on the inside when you get back,” I proposed, "Shouldn’t take long with the Henry®.”
"Okay, did you put the bed clothes through the machine?”
"Erm.”
"That’ll be no then, you can do that while I’m doing the outside.”

Well I guess I did use some of them so its only fair.
 

With the washing machine starting its hour long cycle and neither Mand nor camper due back at Chez Bond for at least an hour I still needed something to occupy myself for the afternoon. I cleared up the lunch things which took all of five minutes then returned to the bike cave to check on the laundry. Hmm I know, I’ll see if I can do that handstand thing on the deco bike.

A quick trip to my eyrie for more appropriate clothing, which’ll save me changing again later for Garde, pull the bike and check the tyres and I was ready. I did a few stretches, several years of cheer and dance has taught me the importance of that for any gymnastic type endeavour. It seemed a bit daft trying the manoeuvre on the bike straight off so I pulled one of the turbo mats outside, they deaden the noise a bit but they’re also a bit padded.

I remember back in junior school, there were always girls practising cartwheels and handstands each break time. I could never work out why it was only girls, it wasn’t like boys couldn’t do them but I guess bulldog and ball chasing had more appeal. It was only when we started the Foresters that I really got the hang of either but I’m a bit out of practice these days.

The technique is simple enough, hands shoulder width on the ground, firmly push off and raise legs to the vertical, job done. Yep, alright in theory, it took me three attempts to rather messily get my legs above my head and then only with my feet resting on the wall. But persistence paid off, after ten minutes I got as far as a couple of hand steps and a messy inverted leg split. Well baby steps, lets do the handstand on the bike before worrying about the fancy stuff.

A dry run against the wall to find the best hand grip then I got the bike rolling on a loop of the tarmac outside of the garage doors. Its not the best surface to be fair but a slight adjustment meant I missed the rough bit near the drain pipe. I went through some of the simpler moves that I’ve sort of mastered before taking a deep breath and up!

I think I panicked, it was just so weird moving upside down and I bailed, not gracefully but without injury at least although the bike did crash into the kerb. The second attempt went much better, it was still disconcerting to be travelling backwards and upside down, My legs inelegantly waving above me, I made three full circuits before a lack of momentum resulted in another barely controlled landing.
 

The next half an hour passed quickly, each successive attempt an improvement on the last, I even got my legs under control enough to try the splits. Which is how Dad found me when he swung the Hymer into the drive.
"You’re getting quite good at that,” he suggested stepping down from the monster.
"Ish, I’m nowhere close to those girls at that training day.”
"Well I’m impressed, maybe its your hidden talent.”
"Whoo, I can do daft things on a bike.”
"We already know that,” he observed.
"The camper does look a bit cleaner.”
"A bit, I’ll have you know I gave it the full twenty five euro treatment, wash and wax on top, pressure washed underneath, think there was half of Germany stuck under there.”
"Might go a bit quicker now,” I quipped.
"Not without an engine transplant, I’ve never understood why they don’t put more powerful engines in campers, that last Volkswagen couldn’t pull the skin off a rice pudding!”
"Hmm, rice pudding,” I purred, "Which reminds me, we need some food shopping tomorrow.”
"We can go in the morning.”
"I’m supposed to be at the Kabin then I’ve got the disco gig with the band in the evening, I did tell you.”
"Well make a list, I’ll take Manda to help find everything. Coffee?”
 

Mand arrived home not that much later, she was a bit miffed at being volunteered for cleaning duties but any discontent was more for appearance than anything deeper. The inside of the Hymer wasn’t really that bad, the hoover made short work of the loose stuff and carpets, a quick whizz with mop and cloths sorted the toilet and shower. The rest was mostly putting stuff away.

"Not much left in these cupboards,” Mand suggested,” hardly any coffee even.”
"Best make a list, you can restock when you go shopping tomorrow.”
"Food shopping? You usually do that or your mum.”
"Neither of which are available this week.”
She sighed, "I guess, tell me your Dad is taking me?”
"I couldn’t possibly say,” I replied with a bit of a smirk escaping.
"So why aren’t you about?”
"I’m at the Kabin all day, thought I should show my face and then its this daft gig with BlauHase in the evening.”
"Gaby Bond, disco queen!”
"Not funny.”
"So what are you wearing, don’t suppose your usual stuff is appropriate.”
"No idea, maybe just jeans and a top?”
"Think you want something with a bit more impact than that.”
"A skirt?”
"Sometimes Bond, you are useless, leave it to aunty Mand, I’ll sort you something out while you’re frying frites and tossing schnitzel.”
"I reserve the right to wear something else.”
"Trust me, you’ll have them eating out of your hand.”
"That’s what I’m afraid of.”
 

"Gab,” Hannah started, "I’ve got a favour to ask for Sunday.”

Ot oh! Of course, having sorted out the not clash with Sophia’s party, both Mand and myself will be going to the Ahrweiler family day thing with the All Stars, it’ll keep us out of trouble and a bit of bike downtime at this point in the season is always welcome.

"Ask away, I can but say no.”
"We’re a girl short for the Garde, Simone has some sort of family thing, and I was wondering…”

I think I’ve said before, I come to guard because I find it quite relaxing, sort of like doing yoga I guess, a lot of it is taking a pose and holding it before moving to the next. I have filled in before but whilst I know all the moves I’m not part of the display team.

"What about the All Stars?”
"We don’t really need the coaches for a bit of arm waving and tumbling, it doesn’t really matter how many we’ve got whereas…”
"Its critical with the Garde,” I allowed with a sigh.”
"You’ll do it?”
"I’ll do it,” I agreed, "But don’t tell me I need to be in the full get up all day.”
"Okay I won’t.”

Great. A day wearing more makeup than Karstadt stock dressed like something from a nightmare Christmas card.

"Okay everyone,” Hannah called to the hall, "Gabs is going to fill in for Simone so if you can get into the start positions we’ll have a full run through.”
 

How do I let myself in for this stuff? I finished strapping the pizza boxes onto the pillion, well the basket was full of my Garde uniform for Sunday, stupid toy soldiers and pink to boot! I restarted the Mofa and set off with our supper, hmm, double pepperoni with black olives.

"Thought you’d got lost,” Mand suggested joining me as I put the pizzas in the oven to warm.
"Had to sort some stuff out for Sunday with Han.”
"I thought you did that on Monday?”
"We did – for the All Stars.”

Mand’s face crinkled into glee.

"She’s conned you into playing toy soldiers hasn’t she?”
"Well Simone can’t go which would really throw the numbers out and I do know the routines, it would be churlish to say no.”
"But sensible! I really don’t get the point of it at all.”

We’ve had that conversation more than once.

"If you’re not careful you won’t get any fries.”
"You got fries?”
"Didn’t I just say.”
"Sweet!”
"No they’re proper potato, take the plates through – and the mayo.”
"Yes Herr Kapitan.” she replied with a sloppy salute, she’d never last in the Alle Stern Garde.

 
Maddy Bell © 15.06.2023