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Carol's Feelings Are Understandable
I think anyone would be scared about suddenly being a mother like D.A and Angie were with Angel. I think that it's a fear of doing things wrong and screwing their lives up . That's pretty common with parents expecting their first baby , too . Sammy and Tammy have already been through so much in their young lives . I know that in a perfect world, there would be time to grow as a couple before children come into the picture, but life has a way of happening while you're busy making plans . I think that the more she bonds with the girls , the more she will come to a point where she would move mountains and walk through fire for those precious children and her love for Angel will grow even stronger ! I am so looking forward to seeing more of this wonderful story . I have been like a kid on Christmas morning , just waiting for this chapter !
Because of the circumstances of my childhood.....
I was never around young children. I was the youngest child in my family, and also the only boy in my generation. I was never exposed to younger siblings, and as the only boy I was quickly pulled away from the other children by my father and his brother and cousins; pulled away and indoctrinated into the families beliefs and told my place as the head of family for my generation.
As old southern gentry, my family lived by the old cavalier tradition where duty, honor, and family are everything as a man. It was my place to live by those beliefs, and to protect the family and all those who depended on us.
I was never ready to be a parent - right up until the first time I held my oldest son. My wife gave birth by emergency c-section, and as such she was given a general anesthetic. This meant that I was the first in the family to hold my son, and I was the first to ever feed him. Within minutes of his birth, I was seated in a rocking chair in the nursery holding my son and feeding him.
From that moment on, I knew that I would do anything to keep my child safe. That I would kill to protect him and the rest of my family - and in all honesty, I knew I was good at doing just that.
Something inside me bonded with him the first time I looked into his eyes, and I will never forget that feeling - for any of my children.
D
D. Eden
“Hier stehe ich; ich kann nicht anders. Gott helfe mir.”
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
Bonding with your child
I personally know the feeling of instant bonding with your children. When I saw my oldest daughter for the first time, I knew instantly that she was born from my heart. And that I would do everything I could to expedite her adoption and protect her with everything I had. And when my youngest daughter was born, I was right there in the surgery. Back in the room, I held her and had her suckle my thumb to maintain her suckling reflex for more than five hours until my (now ex) wife was ready to try breast feeding.
It broke my heart, that my first daughter (aged between the other two) died right after the emergency c-section after complications and medical negligence after being over-term. Since I had really bonded with her during the pregnancy.
The day after my eldest turned 18 (the age of adulthood in my jurisdiction), she told me as she moved out: "You are not my father! You never were my father! And I don't want any more contact with you!" Talk about stabbing the heart. Now five years later, she still maintains that attitude. That was two years after her sister was kidnapped by my ex after a judicial visitation, denying me any and all contact with my daughter.
Almost nine months later I was able to recover my youngest when the police arrested my ex for contempt of court. But the damage was done after three years of brainwashing. And half a year later, my ex again kidnapped her, managing in the process to get a restraining order against me by forcing my then 14 year old daughter to accuse me of sexual abuse. Though the district attorney, after a little over a year, had the case thrown out as a false accusation. But the case file for the restraining order has been hidden from me ever since, so have been unable to have that lifted.
After fight for the custody of my daughters for over eight years, I was finally forced to give up, when my only recourse was an appeal to the supreme court. But many judicial functionaries (judges, clerks and public defenders) told me about pressure they received from various members of the supreme court to find against me, even though the law was completely on my side, and my conduct to date had indicated to them that I was the better parent for custody. Corruption at the very top!
Since my youngest reached adulthood this last November, she was finally able to visit her grandmother (my mother) over the holidays. My mother tried mediating a reconciliation between us. But because of the years of brainwashing by her "mother" and the meddling of several religiously bigoted relatives of mine, my daughter is so psychologically traumatized that she still maintains that my gender issues are sexual abuse towards her.
Thankfully my counselor was able to help me avoid sliding back into a deep depression. I have to live with the consequences of these false accusations, and I am trying to make the best of a bad situation. But my daughters, both now adults, will also have to accept and live with the consequences of their attitudes and actions, even though they still have not grasped the extent of them.
Jessica