Okay, so I just posted one of my favorite chapters of Ethan’s World–Puppy Love and Sherbet. And I feel compelled to talk about it. But to whom? I’m lucky to have made a couple of contacts here on BCTS, but I don’t want to wear them out, so I’m just going to throw words into the ether and let them and where they may.

I love this story so much, partly because it encompasses so many of my thoughts and fantasies–and yet, even a few of my experiences as a boy–but mostly because of the characters that came out of it. Ethan, of course, is a reflection of me as a kid, so there’s that… but everyone else from Colleen to DeeDee and Dani and Vivian and Penelope… and with this latest chapter, Ivy… I feel like I’ve known them all of my life.

So, I think I’m gonna tackle these little discussions by focusing on characters,.. because I love them so much.

Puppy Love and Sherbet is special to me because it deals with that whole first love thing. I was the kind of kid who fell in love every time he turned around. And like Ethan, I found myself more attracted to “older women” than girls my age.

Ivy is awesome. Sadly, she’s only in two more toward the end. I regret not writing more chapters with her, but this thing had gotten so large, so burdensome I wanted to go no further than fifty chapters. I suppose I could have combined or eliminated others, but ‘tis what it ‘tis….

There are some who’ll make a big deal about the age difference between Ethan and Ivy, but so what. These things happen, both in fiction and real life. I never claimed to be writing a tale of high or correctness. The fact of the matter is that my wife was seven years older than I was when we married, compared to the four or so for Ethan and Ivy. She was a teacher for most of her life. We met long after I was in school, but we often joked about she could have been my teacher while I was in high school. I took it further and teased her about me being her teacher’s pet. That always made her blush… a fond memory of fine days….

Anyway, Ivy was a happy accident. I wrote the shoe shopping story and she just showed up. All that flirting, I had to do something with her, but she had to mean something. I’d already written other chapters about Ethan dating and even knew kinda sorta how the tale would end. But something was missing. Ivy saved me. And Ethan.

I love the interplay between these two–Ivy’s infatuation with this pretty boy with one foot in the world of girls and girlish things turns into something greater than she expected. First he’s a potential plaything, then he’s a little brother, but then it’s more. Which you’ll discover eventually.

Shoot, I love her so much and what she does for Ethan, I can’t say much more without giving away the whole caboose. Dang it.

A couple of things in this chapter make me emotional. Really emotional. One is when Ivy reveals that she’s going off to college. Like any other teenager, she procrastinates and tells him at the last minute. While they’re parked in front of his house she sees him in the moonlight, and she sees a tear running down his cheek. Then they kiss and Colleen turns on the porch light, blah-blah-blah…

Another is when they're at the nail salon and Ethan is reflecting on the women in the salon, their discussions about men and boys and their solidarity... and how that reminds him of his mother and his aunts (see Secrets Revealed)... and this happens:

... his eyes warmed and his chest swelled. Ivy noticed him sniffing and she shot him an impish wink.

“You big crybaby,” she whispered happily.

Ivy's not being mean in her happiness, no, not at all—she's just amazed to see this remarkable boy connecting to the world in a way that few boys (and probably not a lot of females) never do. This little bit is important, I think, because it's when she begins to really fall for Ethan. Maybe. You'll have to ask her. ;) I could be wrong.

The other is at the end, when they’re on the phone for the last time. She’s trying to make things easy for Ethan, to let him down slowly, but she’s hurting too. At the end she says:

“Hey, Ethan?”

His smile was too big to speak. He just nodded into the receiver, knowing she couldn’t see him.

I go back and read that on occasion and I get all teary eyed. Me, a seventy year old man who’s been around the world and seen things, done things, lived a full and crazy life… and that little exchange makes me wanna cry.

It’s because I get him. And her. I’ve been on both sides of that conversation, but in this case I really identify with Ethan and the bittersweetness of her saying that she ‘puppy loves’ him. I can see him... I've been him... on the end of that phone, smiling too big, but wanting to cry because the thing that made me happy was going away and I'd never experience it—or them—again.

Oh, it’s more than that–they both know it–but this is how they handle it. And they both do it better than I did, not just as a teenager, but as a grown man later in life. Way better than I ever did.

Of course, my favorite character is Ethan. He goes through so much in his young life, he learns so much and grows so much in such a short period of time, and he handles it better than most. And better than many readers may think. His greatest tests are yet to come… he’s going to overcome so much, surprise so many people, including his mother and Aunt Vivian and, of course, himself. I told one of my online friends he’s kinda like Frodo or Charlie Bucket (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory),,, or even Napoleon Dynamite (betcha didn't see that one coming, but his one of my subtle little heroes)... Ethan's ultimate success will affect so many in his circle….

This story is hard for me to let go. I began in as a lark–in Vivian-speak–not realizing just how big it would grown, nor what it would mean to me. I now know I’ll never be able to write anything else in this genre that will be so meaningful to me. I may try, but first I gotta get over my little ‘puppy love’ affair with Ethan’s World. Writing on this blog may help. We’ll see.

In the meantime, if you’re reading my story, thanks so much. If you like it, I like you. If you don’t like it, that’s okay. Either keep trying or read on and something that you like better. I’m just glad to have gotten this thing down and found a few who do enjoy and even share in my affection for it.

Just so you know, here is a version of my “mission statement” for what I was trying to accomplish:

“Ethan’s World is the childhood I should have had—one where teasing never wounds, where love always outweighs shame, and where even blushes become a kind of safety.”

Until next time, be safe and be good to yourself.

d.

PS I think I’m gonna talk about DeeDee next. Maybe. We’ll see.