getting hit from all sides

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Dysphoria, manic-depression, PTSD, grief, and anxiety. I'm getting hit by all of the above, plus one more. Guilt. Guilt that I'm struggling with petty problems while people are dying from this virus.

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Well

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Andrea Lena's picture

You're taking care of your mother - she's at very high risk for this virus. You have your daughter to be concerned about. You worry about your ex. Your brother's health sadly dovetails with his complete misunderstanding of you. You deal with post traumatic stress on a daily basis. AND the dysphoria adds to all that, along with the anxiety and very real concern, which you haven't mentioned, is that YOU are at high risk yourself. None of those challenges magically disappear when you read the news or watch nightly updates Petty problems? How others fare in this crisis in no way diminishes what you BRAVELY and successfully face on a daily basis, Now while being unable to go anywhere. Hang in there dear heart!

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

What Drea said

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laika's picture

While I was fumbling with how to make a case for your problems being anything but petty and your feelings being 100% legitimate (except for the guilt about feeling them) Andrea said it all in a way that was much clearer + more on-target than what I wouldve come up with. She's smart like that. Sometimes I think she's part Betazoid...

~HUGS and hang in there, Ronni

The forest was shrinking but the trees kept voting for the axe,
for the axe had convinced them that because his handle
was made of wood he was one of them.

Hit the nail on the head

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Amethyst's picture

Drea pretty much said everything that I was going to say, so don't mind me if I just elaborate a bit. Don't feel guilty about focussing on your own sizable problems and trying to be there for your family, this isn't you being selfish it's being selfless. You have a lot on your plate already Dot without this virus scare, but despite your own seemingly unsurmountable issues you keep on pushing past them and doing what you can to support those closest to you, even those who don't understand or support you. You and those you care about are just as much at risk from this virus as everyone else out there, more so in some cases. I know that it's not easy, especially when the depression and self-doubt start kicking in, but please try to see yourself as we see you instead of through the lens of depression and self-doubt. You are a good friend and a caring and giving person who is a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. And if you do need someone to lean on, well you plenty of friends willing to help prop you up.

*big hugs*

Amethyst

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Had To

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I don't know if it was the story Laika posted recently or listening to all the virus news but I finally snapped.

My spouse got up this morning and didn't have cream for her coffee. We live three blocks from the store, so she walked there and got it.

We had agreed we would not go to the grocery store more than once every two weeks.

So I shot her.

Okay. . .so I didn't shoot her -- but I got so upset I bent a spoon. We're getting low on spoons and I'll have to order more through Amazon. She opens all the Amazon packages and will probably get the virus through the Amazon box.

So . . . either way I've killed her over cream, which is like milk, except she didn't spill it.

I've just re-read this. I've caught it. I've contracted the utter stupidity demonstrated every day by our president when he lies and rattles on about nothing -- to a captive audience waiting to hear what Dr. Fouci has to say. Trump's pining for his rallies and the beer-swilling rednecks who love his misogynistic, homophobic, racist humor. Who can blame him? I was in a fraternity and we all used to talk about pussies and laugh at people with disabilities. It was great fun.

But- back to you. Are you old enough to remember polio? TB? Iron lungs? This too will pass. You're a strong person who is reacting like 99% of us.

Jill

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Quite a good short story!

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And yes, there was at least one case where someone was shot dead for not following quarantine orders.
PS:
- What happened?
- My daughter was jumping on the bed... And I told her to stop as it is not safe... but she kept jumping...
- But why she has a gunshot wound?
- I told her to stop jumping, but she did not listen... So I shot her.

Stop watching TV news and talk shows.

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Stop watching TV. Period. It will be terrible for a day or two. It will be hard for the next week. But in 2-3 weeks you will be much happier.
TV shows are designed to cause anxiety attacks. In about 3 weeks you will hear all of the hooks and catches they use to cause you to have PTSD episode. I don't know why "they" need to cause you to have PTSD episode. But for some reason...
Stop reading news from major outlets for some time. In the couple of weeks you will be able to see what is BS, and what is crap in their news. And in 3-4 weeeks you will be able to see where they put the hooks in the news.
Virus... Probably it is terrible. But still it have to kill another 5000 people worldwide to reach previous seasonal flu achievement in US only. (52k total deaths from COVID and some sources claim that there was more than 57k dead from seasonal flu last year in the US only). And yes, at the current rate it is just a couple of days. But 57K out of 350 millions compared to 52K out of 7.5 billions at the moment...
There is a good song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ych6ItgGJR0E (especially around 2:20...)
Yes. People die. For millions of reasons.
Every single second someone dies. BUT! Every single secong someone is born! It is just a way of life!
And... Population on the globe is still growing. So for every death there is more that one birtrh!
Situation in Italy was blown out of proportion totally. Just the deaths minus births number before the corona craze was around 500 per day every day. For several years. And yes, Italy is very suited to spread infection because of the traditional big family gatherings. As is Spain...

So, my reason to write ol of that? Simple. We will survive. Every second of every moment of every minute you have to know that we will survive. With all of that craze I have best and about most vivid dreams of the last 20 years. And I am known to have prophetic dreams. Not every time... but still...

So. Ignore everyone (me included). Disconnect your TV. Stop reading news and watching TV for couple of weeks. You will be better!

PS: There is some cloud for every silver lining. With all of this self isolation and work from home I will be able to do my nails!

News Distancing

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If you stop reading the paper and watching TV news long enough you can be governor of Georgia. Or, you could just drink turpentine.

Jill?

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)