From the moment I decided to attempt to bring Dorothy to life, I have been fighting against my body.

It took massive amounts of female hormones to finally quell the male ones in my body, and that was only the first battle.

Well, yesterday, I had to acknowledge my defeat in the area of clothing - specifically, panties.

I had bought some panties several months back, and I am giving up on them.

my big belly makes getting something to fit a struggle at the best of times, but my male parts make the whole thing a joke.

I think its wonderful that thousands of years ago, humans gave cute nicknames to pets, wrote each other love letters, made complaints about not being paid enough, and wrote graffiti on walls.

We really haven't changed all that much.

So I saw the lung specialist today, and it was mixed news.

On the one hand, she listened to my breathing, and it sounds good.

On the other hand, the x-rays they took show that my right lung has not fully re-inflated yet, and I still have a little bit of gunk in there, in an awkward spot where they wouldn't be able to drain it.

so nothing for it but to try and rest and take it easy a little longer.

As I age, I find I am less interested in finding a sexual partner, and want to find someone who would hold me and stroke me, and tell me I'm a good girl and . . . I've become a dog, haven't I?

I'm doing a poll, and hope I get lots of opinions

I wanted to figure out what stories of mine are people's favorites, so here is the poll. I decided that only multiple part stories that are not fanfiction could qualify, so pick one (or more!):

Between One Step and the Next: https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28016/between-one-step-a...

For some reason, I found myself thinking about my stepfather today.

I think I have moved past hating him, and now I see him is just a pathetic bully and liar.

Still have PTSD because of him, though, so I guess I just have to live with that.

so apparently, yesterday was my 17th anniversary of being in this place.

Where does the time go?

This is the story of a woman who lived as a man for a year (caution, suicide referenced);

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXHYV_H7owI&rco=1

But as bad as it went for her, it goes worse for trans women forced to live as men ...

So today we realized there were a bunch of stuff that hadn't been done around here since I went into the hospital, and since i was in manic mode, I decided to try and reduce the list a little.

I did pretty well, but at some point the manic fog lifted enough for me to realize i had pushed myself as much as I could, and for once I actually listened to my body and called it a day.

It probably doesn't seem like much, but I'm a little proud I could override the manic and realize when I needed to stop.

well, I survived my time in the hospital, and I am home safe.

I had a lot of crap in my lungs, and it was no fun, but I had some wonderful people looking after me.

I am really glad to home!

So a couple of nights ago, while I was sleeping, I managed to pull my shoulder and my side so hard I was in intense pain afterward. I saw a doc, and get an scan done later this month, but in the meantime not much I can do but try and not strain the area again and take painkillers when needed.

Sighs . . .

After being blocked for months, I finally finished Luck be a Lady.

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/110175/lucky-one-luck...

I had an idea for a board game called Huggleland.

In the game, the huggles have invited you and your friends to try and catch them in Huggleland, where everything is silly.

Dice, and pawn like figures to represent the players as they make their way around the board, with squares like "the exploding cream pie factory has exploded! lose 1 turn cleaning cream off of you!" or "Bad news, you slipped on a banana peal; Good news, you get roll again to see how far you can slide!"

Okay so we got a notice a week ago about the owners bringing in another round of roach control, and since I was sick and mom had her arm in a cast, we kind of panicked, but then we got help from Mike and Carol's handyman and we were as done as we could be this morning when we thought they were coming.

Then I looked at the notice again, and realized they are coming on Thursday, not today.

I mean, at least we are ready, but we could have done without the stress, you know?

got some bad news about my mom's arm today.

I phoned the hospital about getting her cast off, and was told we were supposed to have it looked at 2 weeks after she broke it, and either they forgot to call us or we missed the call.

So now, if there is damage in there, its been too long to do anything about it. and she has limited mobility in 2 of her fingers.

sighs, I feel like a complete failure in terms of looking after her.