dorothycolleen's blog

as I age . . .

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As I age, I find I am less interested in finding a sexual partner, and want to find someone who would hold me and stroke me, and tell me I'm a good girl and . . . I've become a dog, haven't I?

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the marks on my skin from my hospital stay are fading

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The human body has a remarkable ability to repair damage - at least sometimes.

For example, if you looked at my skin, you would hardly tell I had recently been in a hospital fighting for my life.

Even the place where they attached a hose to my chest to drain the fluid out of my lungs has been reduced to a small scab.

There is one exception. On my wrist is a long mark where they had to put tape on to secure an IV line that wouldn't stay in place because I was sweating so much

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I'm doing a poll, and I want you guy's opinion

I'm doing a poll, and hope I get lots of opinions

I wanted to figure out what stories of mine are people's favorites, so here is the poll. I decided that only multiple part stories that are not fanfiction could qualify, so pick one (or more!):

Between One Step and the Next: https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28016/between-one-step-a...

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found myself thinking about my stepfather today

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For some reason, I found myself thinking about my stepfather today.

I think I have moved past hating him, and now I see him is just a pathetic bully and liar.

Still have PTSD because of him, though, so I guess I just have to live with that.

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the woman who lived as a man for a year

This is the story of a woman who lived as a man for a year (caution, suicide referenced);

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXHYV_H7owI&rco=1

But as bad as it went for her, it goes worse for trans women forced to live as men ...

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Just for fun, Dot's list of most memorable albums

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Just for fun, I thought I would share a list of albums that rocked my world:

Klaatu: 3:57 EST -any band willing to make a song about the sad love life of a theoretical particle ("Little Neutrino" ) is worth listening to.

Supertramp: Crime of the Century - my first exposure to the idea you could listen to songs about the worst feelings you have ever had - and feel better afterward.

The Police: Synchronicity - as someone who has tried to write songs, this to me is one of the best examples of taking really high concepts and turning them into banger tunes.

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overriding my manic mind

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So today we realized there were a bunch of stuff that hadn't been done around here since I went into the hospital, and since i was in manic mode, I decided to try and reduce the list a little.

I did pretty well, but at some point the manic fog lifted enough for me to realize i had pushed myself as much as I could, and for once I actually listened to my body and called it a day.

It probably doesn't seem like much, but I'm a little proud I could override the manic and realize when I needed to stop.

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I have to wish more carefully in the future

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You know, I feel sure that at some point as a teen I wished to be surrounded by beautiful women who want to take care of me.

Now that I am home from the hospital, I guess I can scratch that one off the list, but man, I gotta wish more carefully!

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I managed to hurt myself - again

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So a couple of nights ago, while I was sleeping, I managed to pull my shoulder and my side so hard I was in intense pain afterward. I saw a doc, and get an scan done later this month, but in the meantime not much I can do but try and not strain the area again and take painkillers when needed.

Sighs . . .

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2 very different dreams

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o last night I had two very different dreams.

In the first, I was a performer at some award ceremony. I started at the back of the audience and came down the stairs toward the stage, singing what seemed to be the choruses of a group of songs. And even in the dream I was amazed at beautiful my voice was, how amazing I looked in a dress and heels.

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"I messed up"

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"I messed up"

Apparently those are the words of an air traffic controller in New York, after a plane collided with a firetruck.

Can you imagine how this person feels now? To know one mistake led to death, destruction?

Well, I don't have to imagine.

I know, because I made a mistake that caused the death of an elderly woman.

I was working in long term care, and I and another person were trying to lift the woman using a machine called a Hoyer lift when I made a mistake, she slipped off, and cracked her head on the base of the machine, and died.

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Huggleland - the board game!

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I had an idea for a board game called Huggleland.

In the game, the huggles have invited you and your friends to try and catch them in Huggleland, where everything is silly.

Dice, and pawn like figures to represent the players as they make their way around the board, with squares like "the exploding cream pie factory has exploded! lose 1 turn cleaning cream off of you!" or "Bad news, you slipped on a banana peal; Good news, you get roll again to see how far you can slide!"

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sometimes, I think I like making things harder on myself

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Okay so we got a notice a week ago about the owners bringing in another round of roach control, and since I was sick and mom had her arm in a cast, we kind of panicked, but then we got help from Mike and Carol's handyman and we were as done as we could be this morning when we thought they were coming.

Then I looked at the notice again, and realized they are coming on Thursday, not today.

I mean, at least we are ready, but we could have done without the stress, you know?

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bad news about my mom's arm

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got some bad news about my mom's arm today.

I phoned the hospital about getting her cast off, and was told we were supposed to have it looked at 2 weeks after she broke it, and either they forgot to call us or we missed the call.

So now, if there is damage in there, its been too long to do anything about it. and she has limited mobility in 2 of her fingers.

sighs, I feel like a complete failure in terms of looking after her.

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weird dream

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Had the weirdest dream last night.

I was at some kind of award's ceremony, with a film I made up for an award, but I was actually hoping a friend's film would also get honored.

To my delight, we both won.

don't ask me what it means, folks . . .

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