So I saw the lung specialist today, and it was mixed news.

On the one hand, she listened to my breathing, and it sounds good.

On the other hand, the x-rays they took show that my right lung has not fully re-inflated yet, and I still have a little bit of gunk in there, in an awkward spot where they wouldn't be able to drain it.

so nothing for it but to try and rest and take it easy a little longer.

As I age, I find I am less interested in finding a sexual partner, and want to find someone who would hold me and stroke me, and tell me I'm a good girl and . . . I've become a dog, haven't I?

I'm doing a poll, and hope I get lots of opinions

I wanted to figure out what stories of mine are people's favorites, so here is the poll. I decided that only multiple part stories that are not fanfiction could qualify, so pick one (or more!):

Between One Step and the Next: https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28016/between-one-step-a...

For some reason, I found myself thinking about my stepfather today.

I think I have moved past hating him, and now I see him is just a pathetic bully and liar.

Still have PTSD because of him, though, so I guess I just have to live with that.

so apparently, yesterday was my 17th anniversary of being in this place.

Where does the time go?

This is the story of a woman who lived as a man for a year (caution, suicide referenced);

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXHYV_H7owI&rco=1

But as bad as it went for her, it goes worse for trans women forced to live as men ...

So today we realized there were a bunch of stuff that hadn't been done around here since I went into the hospital, and since i was in manic mode, I decided to try and reduce the list a little.

I did pretty well, but at some point the manic fog lifted enough for me to realize i had pushed myself as much as I could, and for once I actually listened to my body and called it a day.

It probably doesn't seem like much, but I'm a little proud I could override the manic and realize when I needed to stop.

well, I survived my time in the hospital, and I am home safe.

I had a lot of crap in my lungs, and it was no fun, but I had some wonderful people looking after me.

I am really glad to home!

So a couple of nights ago, while I was sleeping, I managed to pull my shoulder and my side so hard I was in intense pain afterward. I saw a doc, and get an scan done later this month, but in the meantime not much I can do but try and not strain the area again and take painkillers when needed.

Sighs . . .

After being blocked for months, I finally finished Luck be a Lady.

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/110175/lucky-one-luck...

"I messed up"

Apparently those are the words of an air traffic controller in New York, after a plane collided with a firetruck.

Can you imagine how this person feels now? To know one mistake led to death, destruction?

Well, I don't have to imagine.

I know, because I made a mistake that caused the death of an elderly woman.

I was working in long term care, and I and another person were trying to lift the woman using a machine called a Hoyer lift when I made a mistake, she slipped off, and cracked her head on the base of the machine, and died.

Goodness, at this rate I might have enough stories to keep a reader occupied for a while!

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/109991/foundations-hope

Okay so we got a notice a week ago about the owners bringing in another round of roach control, and since I was sick and mom had her arm in a cast, we kind of panicked, but then we got help from Mike and Carol's handyman and we were as done as we could be this morning when we thought they were coming.

Then I looked at the notice again, and realized they are coming on Thursday, not today.

I mean, at least we are ready, but we could have done without the stress, you know?

I'm starting to think I should be restrained when I sleep.

Woke up this morning with my shoulder in such pain like I had given it a good yank while I slept.

God, I am so tired of hurting myself.

Health update on Sam - she has iron deficiency, and an infection. not much to do but take meds, plenty of rest, that kind of thing.

With me having to help my mom, I haven't been around much, and probably wont be until her arm heals.

But if anybody needs me, just send me a message.

Finally home from the hospital.

mom had a spiral fracture, so she now has a cast.

managed to get laundry and groceries done.

Might not seem like a lot, but based on how my mental heal has been, it was a big deal for me.

I have had a couple of near-misses driving the last couple of days. And then tonight I managed to drive over a curb and give myself a flat tire.

these events have me worried, and depressed.

hugs appreciated.

For months, I have looked at a pile of items I needed to take to Goodwill, and found a reason not to deal with them.

Well, today, I found a reason to get rid of them - I am expecting a new bed on Friday.

I feel pretty good about accomplishing this, honestly.