So here are a couple of dreams for you all:

In the first dream, I seemed to be at a family reunion when I heard gunshots. I think I teleported, because the next thing I knew I was standing in front of a guy holding some kind of sniper style gun. I told him if he wanted to shoot somebody he could try shooting me, and when he did, the bullets sort of disappeared before touching me. Then I reached out and touched the gun, causing it to vanish as well, which made the gunman surrender.

the revised version of Games without Frontiers is up, with a big thank you to Alan for the beta read and suggestions.

Because my re-write of Games without Frontiers is almost finished, I wanted to share how this story evolved.

It started the first time I heard the song by Peter Gabriel which is apparently in reference to a reality show from Europe.

The song stuck with me, and eventually I started trying to find a story I could make from it.

The first attempt was set in World War Two, featuring a bunch of kids sent to the country to avoid the London Blitz.

But eventually I abandoned that idea, and the song kind of went into the background.

so this morning, I pulled out my clothes and put them on my bed, and put on my socks.

A moment later, I am looking at the pile of clothes, trying to find my socks, apparently totally forgetting I had them on.

Eventually, I looked down at my feet, and realized I was wearing them.

Sometimes, my brain worries me ...

So, starting tomorrow and ending Thursday, Sharon is moving into her new place.

This is going to be the weirdest move I've been a part of, and I have been a part of plenty.

Because of the fact it will happen over two days.

Ah, well, once more into the breach, dear friends . . .

For those who like to read my stories (you know who you are) here is a bit of an update:

Rifts: In the Center Ring: my little nod to the RPG Rifts. just started.

The Lucky One: Luck be a Lady Chapter 3: what happens when Fluke meets her maker? just started

To Escape the Friend Zone: a young man just entering college discovers why he cant seem to get a date . . . just started.

Sword and Shield: one side masc, one side fem, both sides heroes! just started

I gots me a new story up! Please read, kudo and comment!

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/108338/galactic-diplo...

I was at my local library looking for more reading material, and came across a graphic novel called "love and pom poms" its about 2 girls in high school. they once had been close, but drifted apart as the one became more of a computer nerd while the other joined the cheerleader squad.

Its not easy to own up to your own failures, but if this silly blog is going to mean anything, I have to be willing to talk about my screw-ups.

See, this month has been one of my worst for staying within a budget.

The only good news is I think I understand what happened.

I was in manic mode a lot this month, and as a result bought stuff to essentially self-medicate.

Now, normally, you'd associate self medication with being depressed, but my manic state doesn't just result in basically being high, it amps whatever I am feeling to the max and beyond.

so a couple of days ago, someone left a bag of groceries on Sharon's doorstep.

She didn't want them, and we could find no info in the bag, so my mom and I took it.

It had about 150$ worth of staples like eggs, milk, and so on. So our normal grocery run was much cheaper.

I wish I could thank whoever left the bag, it really helped us out at a time when we are trying to keep Sharon and Sam afloat as well as ourselves.

If you haven't read the Lord of the Rings, at the end of the book Frodo is left with wounds that just wont heal in Middle-Earth.

I know what that is like, because like him, I have been wounded, and sometimes, just when I think I have totally healed, those old scars remind me of losses I can never replace.

Don't worry, I wont head for the Undying Lands before my time, but on days like today it just a little harder to keep going.

Hugs and prayers appreciated.

one of the most frustrating parts of having CPST is I really struggle to make decisions. I just don't trust myself.

I try and remember that not choosing is in fact a choice, and it has consequences just like any other choice.

But it is still and struggle, and I second guess myself all the time.

So today Sharon asked me to sign a form saying I have no stake in her house, so she can put it on the market.

And she freaked out when I signed it Dorothy, and I tried to explain I had a name change years ago, and Dorothy is my legal name.

She kept saying that she was afraid that my signature wouldn't be valid, and then asked me about surgery and the fact I now have breasts.

It was stressful, but at least she didn't misquote scripture like she did a couple of days ago, trying to use the story of Sodom against me.

Ah, well.

an update on Sharon's health:

Turns out she is suffering from extreme spikes in her heart rate.

they have given her some meds, so we will have to see if that helps, or if she needs more invasive measures.

wore a skirt with a matching blouse to go out to do laundry and grocery shopping today.

Why?

Because I could.

So the last while I have been running around like crazy for Sharon, as she continues to try to sell her house and buy something cheaper.

But not only have been dealing with the stress of that, it has been hot and humid here a lot lately, and I think I may have given myself issues from the heat as I am really struggling with being "off" in some way I can't quite define.

Its been a long week, and its only Monday, so hugs appreciated.

new essay up!

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/107499/origins-5-bend...

so I dreamed that I was back and school, and I was doing so poorly I wanted to quit. A teacher tried to tell me to be patient with the place and with myself, but I kept saying "I want to go home".

Now, I'm no expert, but even I can see that this dream is really about life.

I got a new song up!

here is the link: https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/107380/big-closet-ima...

I wanted to pass on a few updates:

My brother is doing better thanks to the pacemaker, but is still having breathing issues that we don't know the cause of.

My ex is taking her near-death experience seriously, and has started to look for a cheaper place that Sam could have going forward, but she is showing signs of a deep paranoia that is quite worrisome.

As for me, I've been trying to do a deep dive into understanding my manic phase, but I still got a lot of work to do.