“Ugh,” I grunt as for the third time in as many mornings, I’m woken by the sound of not just traffic, but pedestrians passing by outside my window. With a sigh, I brush my hair out of my face, drag my tired body out of bed and slink through to the kitchen where — again, for the third time in as many mornings — my flatmate is already awake and eating her breakfast.

“Morning!” Martha says with a giggle between mouthfuls of muesli.

“How can it be so busy outside at 7:15am?” I groan as I pour myself a desperately needed mug of coffee and sit down opposite my friend. “I mean, I thought Edinburgh was a big city, but — jeez….”

“You’re the one who didn’t want to commute 400 miles each day,” Martha reminds me, giggling again as I roll my eyes.

“And what’s your excuse, then?” I ask. “Redhill’s only down the road, isn’t it?”

“Oh yeah, I could easily commute to London each day,” Martha replies. “But I have two ‘excuses.’ First, I didn’t want to live with my parents anymore.”

“…And second?” I ask, already smirking as the dark-skinned girl struggles to contain her excitement.

“Second,” Martha replies, “you and I are not just gorgeous, successful women who deserve the good things in life, but we’re also bona fide Angels too!”

“Hell yeah we are!” I cheer, sharing a giggle with my flatmate as I reminisce on the events of the past few weeks.

Not long after it was filmed, the final of ‘So You Want to be an Angel?’ was streamed online and was viewed by millions around the world. What seemed like moments later, my social media presence exploded. Everyone seemed to want a piece of Britain’s newest Angel, and at one point, I was even gaining new Instagram followers at a rate of over a hundred every minute. Within three days of the finale being streamed, my new talent agency had secured for me over £100 000 worth of endorsements for my social media pages, obligations I quickly and eagerly fulfilled. A week later, I passed one million followers on Instagram.

And yet, in those few days, I felt more alone than I ever had in my entire life.

It’s not that I was being deliberately isolated, of course. Not only was the Angels group chat pinging almost constantly, but we also had daily video chats that I never missed, multiple interviews for TV, radio, blogs and news websites. I even entertained visitors at my Edinburgh home multiple times, including Kelly and her boyfriend (who even stayed over in my spare room), Lil, Ginny and even Sian from my original audition, the latter two of those girls quickly striking up a strong friendship of their own. At the end of each day, though, I headed to the same old bed in the same old flat in the same old city where I’d always lived, and while I had fame and fortune beyond my wildest dreams, I’d lost and was no closer to regaining the one thing that I was told mattered above all else — family.

My being an ‘Angel’ did nothing to repair the rift between me and family that appeared when they discovered the existence of ‘Dina.’ If anything, the opposite was and still is true. When the truth came out about my ‘heritage,’ the press immediately reached out to my parents asking for quotes or soundbites or anything else about me, only to be told that I was a wastrel who cared nothing for family, tradition or heritage, and as far as they’re concerned, they’re better off without me in their — not our, but specifically their — family.

Heavenly Talent, of course, didn’t take this lying down. After all, I’m their asset now, it’s in their best interests to keep my public image as flawless as possible, and they responded by issuing a statement saying I was hard working, a devoted friend and someone anyone would be proud to have in their family. Thankfully, this war of words seems to have begun and ended with this exchange, but I live in constant anxiety that my (I suppose former) family will hit out again soon, necessitating a reply from my management — and obviously, I have never felt further away from my family than I do right now.

Not least because on the morning of this Friday just gone, a large removal van — arranged by Heavenly Talent, of course — arrived at my Edinburgh flat and packaged up everything I own, transporting it, and me, down south to my new home in Notting Hill in the centre of London. Heavenly Talent, of course, arranged the flat for Martha and me, and it is a beautiful home — well decorated and surprisingly spacious for its location, which is easily one of the most photogenic parts of the capital, if not the whole country. It’s close to the homes of virtually all of the Angels and less than 100 yards away from the flat shared by Stephanie Abbott and Kayla Ford of Out of Heaven fame.

It’s also, most importantly of all, a short tube ride away from the head offices of Heavenly Talent themselves. While they’ve been closed for the past sixteen months due to lockdown, with restrictions easing in England, the many backroom staff who make up the operation that is Heavenly Talent have gradually made their way back into the office, and today is mine and Martha’s ‘formal introduction’ to the people who make up their staff. While I know I shouldn’t be nervous — as an ‘Angel,’ I’ve been told I’m as senior as talent gets — there’s a part of me that’s desperate to make a good impression both at the office and on my way to the office. This is, after all, my first experience of living in London, probably the most photographed city in Europe. I need to maintain an image now that I’m an ‘Angel’ — you never know who might be watching. For one thing, Dina Black lives in London, too….

“Decided what you’re gonna wear?” Martha asks. “To the office, I mean? Krystie says they usually dress formally in the office, like, proper business wear, so I thought I’d go with just a plain black pencil skirt, maybe a sleeveless white blouse and two or three of my favourite necklaces? And obviously heels, because duh.”

“Hmm?” I reply, only half listening to my flatmate. “Oh — aye, definitely business formal. I was tempted to go with my new suit with the really short pink pencil skirt, but I’ll probably go dark grey if you’re going for a black skirt. And heels, obviously. No tights in this weather, though.”

“HELL no,” Martha chuckles. “I didn’t spend last night waxing just to cover everything up in nylon, heh. Not to mention what a pain it is trying to find tights that match my skin tone, heh. Though it’s not like we’re going to be working in the office full-time, are we?”

“Well, no,” I reply. “But we will be going in for meetings, and even if we are gonna be the ‘guests of honour’ today we should still make a good first impression with everyone.”

“Definitely,” Martha says. “You’ve worked in an office before, haven’t you?”

“Yeah, but only for a few months before Covid hit,” I reply. “Then it was all from home. Heh, and what I wore to THAT office was very different to what I’ll be wearing today.”

“Ah — shit, of course,” Martha grimaces. “Sorry, Dina, I — I keep forgetting, you know?”

“Honestly, it’s okay,” I chuckle. “It’s kinda, like, a compliment, you know? If you forget, it means you have no issue seeing me as a woman, and that can only be a good thing.”

“Sure,” Martha says with a giggle.

“And it’s safe to say that six months ago, I’d never have dreamed that I’d have sat at a breakfast table discussing different shades of tights with anyone,” I say, earning a giggle from my friend. “But to answer your original question, yes, I’ve worked in an office before. The actual office environment is — well, it’s kinda different depending what perspective you had, I suppose. Back then, I was constantly busy calling and emailing people trying to make the company money. Safe to assume we probably won’t be doing that ourselves, but there still might be an element of — heh. An element of competition to it all.”

“Something we both know about,” Martha chuckles tiredly.

“Well, you more than me, I suppose,” I say, earning a confused frown from my friend. “I mean, you actually won the competition, like, properly, I just got the ‘consolation prize’ or whatever.”

“Umm, no, I’m pretty sure we both won, didn’t we?” Martha asks. “Okay, when we went into the competition, we thought there was only one spot available, but that’s clearly not what the powers that be had in mind from the start.”

“Yeah, but when you look at Wikipedia, it says ‘winner: Martha Steadman’ and ‘winner of second chance contest: Dina Williams,’ though,” I retort.

“Who cares about Wikipedia?” Martha snorts derisively. “On the Angels page on there, doesn’t it show ‘Members: Martha Steadman and Dina Williams, 2021 to present day?’ ”

“…Yes, yes it does,” I’m forced to concede. “I just — I just don’t want to think that, like, I’m stealing any limelight that’s rightfully yours.”

“If my ego was THAT big, I’d be in the wrong influencer clique,” Martha retorts with a giggle before finishing her breakfast and putting her dishes in the dishwasher. “Now if you don’t mind, I need to hit the shower before my big ‘debut,’ hehe!”

“Make sure to save me SOME hot water,” I yell after my friend, giggling as she disappears into the bathroom.

A short while later, I replace my friend under the hot water, and after drying my ever-growing hair and my smooth, perfectly hairless body, I head back to my bedroom to get ready for the day ahead. While Martha is going for a more ‘summery’ look — it is August, after all — with her sleeveless blouse, I opt for a more ‘traditional’ long-sleeved white blouse, albeit one made of a soft, almost translucent material that glides over my smooth skin once it’s buttoned up. I follow that with, as I promised Martha, a short grey pencil skirt with a small rear vent that shows off plenty of my tanned legs but is still just about ‘professional’ enough for an office setting, before pulling on the matching fitted blazer and smiling as it hugs even my fledgling curves. Next comes my make-up, and despite it being summer, I still go for my usual 'full' look of my favourite foundation and bronzer, thick mascara instead of fake eyelashes, subtle eyeliner and smoky eyeshadow to match my suit and, of course, a thick layer of my favourite nude matte lipstick. After brushing my hair, I pause and look at my reflection, wondering whether or not a ponytail would suit my look. My hair is just about long enough to tie back and give some length below the tie, but ultimately, I decide instead to let my hair hang loose — my hair has already earned me thousands of pounds of endorsement deals, after all.

Once my hair is satisfactory, I reapply my lipstick one more time before slipping my feet into a pair of pointed-toe pumps with a 3.5” stiletto heel, spritzing myself liberally with some of my new favourite perfume (which was, of course, a promotional freebie), grabbing a handbag to match my shoes and slipping on a pair of designer sunglasses.

“World, get ready to meet Miss Dina Williams,” I say with a confident smile as I exit my room and immediately get a whistle from my flatmate.

“Looking hot, Miss Williams!” Martha enthuses as I do a slow twirl for her. “Banking on there being plenty of male models there today?” Maybe if you take off the word before 'models,' I think to myself as I fidget awkwardly.

“Umm, I-” I start to reply before my flatmate immediately interrupts me.

“Sorry, I forgot — you’re only interested in girls,” Martha says with a giggle. “I imagine there’ll be plenty of female models there who’ll be interested in you, too!”

“Well, maybe,” I say with a nervous giggle — given that the agency is famously LGBT friendly, she may well be correct. I probably won’t see Dina Black or anyone like her in the agency, though. Well, unless I look into a mirror, anyway…. “You — you’re looking great, too!”

“Aww, thanks!” Martha giggles as she shows off her plain but still elegant black skirt, sleeveless white blouse and black stilettos. “Would you believe this blouse is actually a bodysuit? Figured I needed extra encouragement not to untuck my blouse in this heat, heh. Also, don’t tell anyone this but I — the last time I went to an office, for a job interview, I mean, I — I went to the loo immediately before and I — yeah….”

“Accidentally tucked your skirt into your knickers?” I ask, smiling as my friend rolls her eyes, nods and giggles. “Even I’ve been there, heh. The number of times I went to the loo when working from home then came back to my desk and thought ‘why is one thigh colder than the other,’ heh.”

“Yeah… not quite the same as showing off your white thong and most of your arse to an entire tube full of commuters,” Martha chuckles embarrassedly. “Still, at least back then, people weren’t fighting with each other to get a photo of me. I hope not, anyway. Today, though… ready to be the most photographed woman in England? Sorry — the UK?”

“Nice catch,” I tease my friend, who giggles in reply. “And aye, ready as I’ll ever be, heh!” the two of us smile as we head outside to our waiting taxi, though even this short walk is enough to attract the attention of several passers-by, many of whom snap photos of us with their phones even as we speed away.

A short while later, the taxi pulls up outside the impressive and imposing looking building that houses the head office of Heavenly Talent. A short elevator ride later, and we’re walking through the main entrance (using the VIP passes that had been provided to us) into a reception area that’s surprisingly full of people, all of whom immediately stop what they’re doing and greet us with cheers and rapturous applause as we approach the main desk.

“H- hi,” Martha says to the receptionist, both of us giggling nervously as we continue to be the centre of attention. “We — umm, we’re-”

“Yeah, I know who you two are and why you’re here,” the receptionist, whose nametag reads ‘Ella,’ interrupts with a giggle of her own as she types a message into her laptop. A short while later, a door at the side of the reception area opens and two smartly-dressed figures emerge — a young woman with a long brown ponytail who’s about the same age and same height as me (and who looks vaguely familiar), and a very tall dark-skinned man in his early thirties who I immediately recognise.

“…Mr. Benedict,” I say, greeting the tall man with a loose, feminine handshake and trying not to flinch as even this moment is captured by a photographer inside the office.

“Please, call me Jonathan,” our new boss replies with a wide grin as he shakes Martha’s hand (both of us having been informed beforehand that hugs and even air kisses were off the table thanks to Covid). “ ‘Mr. Benedict’ is my uncle, and even he doesn’t like being called that, heh!”

“…Jonathan,” Martha and I say simultaneously, giggling as the tall man’s grin widens.

“Better,” Jonathan chuckles. “I came down here because as office manager of Heavenly Talent, I wanted to be the first to officially welcome you to the family!” ‘Family,’ I think to myself as I remember back to when I worked for my actual family and how they told every one of their employees that they were part of the ‘corporate family’ too, only to fire them when their figures dropped too low, or make them redundant when the hierarchy was restructured — or fire them for being transgender….

“Thank you,” Martha says, almost breathless with excitement as she snaps me out of my daydream.

“Thanks,” I whisper.

“Now I’d like to introduce you both to your REAL boss,” Jonathan chuckles, making the woman with the brown ponytail roll her eyes as she’s gently led toward us. “Martha, Dina, I’d like you to meet Nikki Phillips-Thomas. She’s the boss of the PA team who’ll basically be at your beck and call whenever you’re at a photoshoot, a media event or even just in your day to day lives.”

“It’s nice to meet you both,” Nikki says almost bashfully as I suddenly remember where I know her from — Nikki Phillips-Thomas, formerly Nikki Thomas, formerly of the Teen Angels, whose exploits I loosely followed when I was a teenager myself. And, more importantly, was formerly ‘Nicholas Thomas.’ Not that you’d be able to tell, with her tightly fitted white blouse, black pencil miniskirt that’s almost as short as mine, immaculately made-up face and long brown hair. Even her voice is more feminine than mine.

“Likewise,” Martha says as she and I shake hands with our new PA.

“Nikki’ll be showing you around today,” Jonathan explains. “She’ll introduce you to all the people who’ll help you throughout your new career and give you advice on what to expect over the next few months and years. After lunch, we’ll meet back in the conference room where I’ll go over a few things, mainly what to expect in the short term, standards of behaviour we expect you to maintain and so forth. If there’s one thing my wife was always keen to remind me of, it’s that being an Angel can be really hard work!”

“Viks is his wife,” Nikki explains, earning giggles from myself and Martha even though I already knew that little fact.

“I’ll leave you three to it, then,” Jonathan says, smiling as Nikki playfully waves at him before leading us to one of the corridors coming off of the reception area.

“Wow, how — how big is this place?” Martha asks as we pass by room after room leading off from the corridor.

“It’s pretty big, I won’t lie,” Nikki replies with a smug grin. “When I started here the agency had about twenty employees, now it’s well over 150. Mostly agents and managers, but plenty of backroom staff too, IT guys, HR… you’ll mostly be dealing with either me or JB directly, though. Angels fall under his direct ‘control,’ for want of a better word.”

“Will we — will we interact with the other girls much?” I ask. “The other contestants from the TV show, they got a one-year contract with the agency?”

“Umm… I’d have to check that,” Nikki replies. “But typically, the answer is ‘no,’ as Angels you’re kinda the ‘elite,’ so you get all the best gigs, the best promotional spots and so forth. JB might do something with the nine of you as a group as that’s how you started out, but — yeah, can't promise anything.”

“But can we choose to do our own stuff with them if we want?” I ask. “Like, we are allowed to create our own content, aren’t we?”

“Sure,” Nikki replies. “If you find the time, though — JB wasn’t joking when he said you’ll be really busy as active Angels, heh.” So much for collabs with and boosting the social media presence of Ginny, then, I think to myself. Even if she is also signed to the agency short-term….

“I’m not afraid of hard work,” Martha says with a smirk. “How long have you worked here, Nikki?”

“Seven years,” the young woman replies, before letting out a tired chuckle. “Sounds like a really long time when you say it out loud, heh, but it doesn’t feel like it, even after Covid. I get to spend every day working with my best friends, my opinions and ideas are listened to by receptive managers… the pay’s great too, hehe! Ooh, and speaking of ‘best friends,’ here’s our first stop, somewhere you’ll be spending a lot of time, especially in the next few weeks — the official HT photography studio!” Martha and I smile as we enter the large room and are greeted by a familiar face — though as it turns out, not as familiar to us as she is to Nikki.

“Hey Nikki!” Katie — the same freckled young woman who took publicity photos for us while we were in the mansion — says as a wide grin spreads across her face. “Oh, hello, ‘new Angels!’ Is Mrs. P-T here giving you the grand tour?”

“Yep!” Martha replies with an enthusiastic grin as I smile and nod along. “Have — have you two known each other long, then?”

“We’re fellow ‘Teen Angels’ who ain’t all that ‘teen’ anymore, hehe!” Katie replies with a giggle. Of course you were, I think to myself with a smile as distant memories surface of the 'junior' clique that I was still envious of all those years ago.

“We met when we were sixteen, at the start of A-level college,” Nikki explains. “God, how long’s that been, eight years?”

“Eight years next month, yep,” Katie replies. “Even if neither of us get in front of the camera much anymore — umm, well, for various reasons….” I frown with confusion as Katie — who had up until this point been bubbly to the point of effervescence — momentarily trails off before continuing. “But anyway, yeah, I went to uni while Nikki started work here and I pretty much had the in-house photographer role held open for me when I graduated, so — yeah, heh! Helps to have friends with contacts, and trust me, Nikki’s contact list is a mile long!”

“Maybe a bit of an exaggeration,” Nikki snorts, while still giggling at her friend’s teasing.

“Okay, and who was it who, the other day, found the only place in central London that sells Peruvian guava ice cream?” Katie asks. “In under a minute, in fact?”

“…My dad drives a black cab,” Nikki explains with a sigh. “He keeps me up to date on all things that have changed in the city, that sort of thing. So — yeah. If ever you need anything, and not just ice cream, but stuff like, you know, services, give me a text and I’ll find it for you. All part of being A good PA, heh!”

“Stuff — umm, services, you mean, like, legal only?” I ask nervously. While publicly, the Angels promote a wholesome lifestyle, rarely indulging in anything beyond the occasional glass of champagne, I’ve long since heard stories about how ‘low culture’ is often synonymous with things like drug use, excessive alcohol consumption, casual sex… Then again, it was usually my parents and my grandparents who told me these things.

“…Legal only,” Nikki says, looking away from me — not judgementally, but almost like she is ashamed of herself. “I, umm, don’t know about anything, well, ‘less legal’ in terms of services, I’ve never tried, and I don’t really want to, to be honest.”

“Okay,” I whisper, biting my lip as an awkward silence fills the room, which is thankfully broken moments later by our PA’s phone ringing.

“That usually goes off about 200 times a day, in fairness,” Katie teases her friend. “Surprised you didn’t switch it to silent for the tour?”

“Not this number, I didn’t,” Nikki replies before answering the call and positively gushing into the phone. “Love of my life….”

“My perfect girl,” the woman on Nikki’s phone’s screen in an equally gooey, lovestruck voice as my eyes are drawn to our guide’s — well, our PA’s I suppose — left hand and the expensive-looking rings on her finger. This is why she’s ‘Mrs. Phillips-Thomas’ and not ‘Miss Thomas’ anymore, I think to myself as I can’t help but wonder whether any woman would ever refer to me as a ‘perfect girl.’ And, as always, my thoughts on that matter are drawn right back to Dina Black and how impossible that relationship seems, even as I’m given — almost force-fed, even — proof that love like that is possible. And, as an official ‘Angel,’ my face will be seen by millions each day, some of whom may even look at me the way Nikki and Sarah overtly look at each other.

“These two can be a while when they’re like this,” Katie says with a giggle as she leads me to the other side of her studio, where a white background and a stool have been set up. “I’ve actually got twenty minutes before my next appointment in here and I’m pretty much all set up for it already, so I can get some headshots of the two of you, if you want?”

“Sure, sounds good!” Martha replies and I nod my agreement, even if it’ll give me more time with my increasingly intrusive thoughts.

The whole purpose of today was to help me settle in and feel more at home with my new ‘team,’ but so far, the opposite has been true. The person I’ve interacted with the most so far has been here seven years and is practically part of the furniture. The next person I interacted with has been friends with the first person for even longer than that, and the group I’m meant to blend in seamlessly with have been friends for even longer still. And yet, I’ve never been made to feel unwelcome in the short time I’ve been here. Even my awkward question about ‘illegal services’ was brushed off. Hell, when I arrived, I was given a standing ovation. So why do I still feel uncomfortable?

Is it because I won the grand prize when I only finished seventh in the competition, despite the fact that the producers of the show had planned for a repechage prize all along, and Martha has repeatedly said she’s okay with sharing the limelight with me? Is it because I have little to no experience of being a model or influencer, despite the fact that even before I became an ‘Angel,’ I had a steadily growing online following? Or is it the fact that I know I’m not a ‘real’ woman, despite the fact that I’m in counselling for gender dysphoria and have been told that treatment isn’t far away, the fact that the woman stood fifteen feet away talking to her wife started life the same way I did, or even that two of the very Angels whose ranks I’ll be joining started the same way I did — including the very woman who advocated for me joining the group.

Or is it the fact that no matter what I do with my life, no matter how much I succeed, my family will always see me as a failure, someone who betrayed the family name for their own selfish gain?

“Okay Dina, you next!” Katie says, distracting me as Martha elegantly slides off the stool to make way for me. “LOVE that suit by the way. Most people can’t make grey work without black tights but the whole thing just looks great on you!”

“Thanks,” I reply bashfully, straightening my short skirt beneath me as I climb on to the stool and pose for the camera. However, Katie is only able to take two photos before our PA returns, her wife’s face still on her phone’s screen.

“Girlies,” Nikki says excitedly, “I’d like you to meet Sarah, my soul mate in all things. Sarah, this is Martha and Dina, who I reckon you’re going to get to know really well over the next few months, hehe!”

“It’s nice to meet you both,” Sarah says as she waves from the phone, while I can’t help but notice that her accent is a lot more refined than Nikki’s or Katie’s. Or Martha’s or even Jonathan’s, for that matter. “I can’t wait to see you in some of my designs soon!”

“Sarah’s a fashion designer,” Nikki explains with as proud a smile as I’ve ever seen anyone wear.

“Aww, cool!” Martha giggles. “Do you have your own label?”

“Not yet,” Sarah replies with a grin. “But the label I work for does have an exclusive deal with HT, so you’ll have one of my dresses on you sooner or later, hehe!”

“The perks of sleeping with someone who works for HT,” Katie teases, giggling as Nikki and Sarah playfully jeer her.

“One thing you’ll find about this organisation is that there’s a lot of ‘incest’ going on,” Sarah explains, making me frown with confusion until she clarifies. “Most people at HT are involved with someone else who works for or is represented by HT.”

“Maybe a bit of an exaggeration?” Katie retorts.

“And who are you involved with, Miss Henderson?” Sarah asks.

“His name’s Charlie,” Katie replies, before sighing and rolling her eyes. “And he’s a model who’s signed to HT. So what? I see loads of people each day, obviously I’m gonna be on the lookout for the fit ones, ain’t I?”

“Maybe I should hang around this studio more often, then?” Martha says, smirking as the other three women all laugh, while I politely smile, still overwhelmed by the morning so far.

“Well, fun as this has been, I’d better continue the tour,” Nikki chuckles tiredly. “Don’t want JB senior yelling at me for goofing off on the clock, heh. I’ll talk to you later, Sarah.”

“You’d better,” Sarah replies with a wink, before the couple sign off by kissing their screens.

“See you three soon, no doubt!” Katie says, waving as we leave her studio.

“Sorry about the call there,” Nikki says. “It’s Sarah’s — well, I suppose also my half-brother’s birthday next month and Sarah wanted to know if one of our presents to him has arrived yet.”

“How old is he?” Martha asks, giggling as Nikki gives her a playful nudge.

“Nineteen next month, so don’t get any ideas,” Nikki replies. “He’s also Formula One mad, actually going to university to study aerodynamics and his dream is to work for the Red Bull team. So, I put in a call to a contact I have there to see if I can get him any signed stuff, exclusive stuff, that sort of thing.”

“So, in addition to knowing everyone in London, you can also pull strings at major sports teams as well?” Martha asks with a chuckle. “Any chance you can get me a tour of the Emirates Stadium?”

“Just post a photo of yourself in an Arsenal shirt and a few days from now, they’ll be begging you to let them give you a tour!” Nikki chuckles. “And be sure to mention that to JB senior and junior, they’re both die hard Arsenal fans too, heh.”

“Ooh, I am gonna LOVE working here!” Martha giggles excitedly.

“How about you, Dina?” Nikki asks. “Follow any sports? I suppose your team would be one of the Edinburgh sides, what are their names again?”

“Hearts and Hibs,” I reply. “And — well, not really. I followed Scotland in the Euros, but that’s about it, heh.”

“Trust me, you’ll still fit in with all of the rest of us non-sports fans,” Nikki giggles. “There’s no safer haven than here if you want to hide from the Euros or the Olympics, heh.”

“Good to know,” I giggle, before biting my lip as I remember something from earlier that I wanted to ask. “Nikki, you — how did you and your wife meet, if you don’t mind me asking? Only your accents are — are very different.”

“Ah — yeah, a little,” Nikki replies with a shrug. “And I don’t mind you asking at all, heh! We met at school at the start of year ten, I’d been in the school from the start, Sarah transferred in as she and her mum moved from Bristol. Her mum’s a private doctor and they’d moved around a bit when Sarah was younger, they’d returned to Bristol, which is where she was born, for a few months before settling in London. Ooh, that reminds me, her mum’s actually a gender identity counsellor, I have got to set you up for an initial meeting with her. Trust me, you are going to LOVE Beverly. She is one of the smartest, kindest and most empathetic people I know, and she’s also the counsellor for Jamie, Kelly, Steph and a lot of others so she’ll know exactly what help it is you need.”

“Is that more of the ‘incest’ Sarah was talking about?” Martha asks, making all three of us giggle.

“Absolutely,” Nikki replies. “As is the birthday cake that our friend Jacinta — another person Beverly helped to treat, right up until she started dating her dad, anyway — will make for you next month. September the fourth, right?”

“…Yeah,” Martha replies with a giggle. “You already know that without looking it up?”

“What kinda of PA would I be otherwise?” Nikki replies, resulting in another mass giggle as we reach our next stop.

Our tour continues with us meeting yet more denizens of the vast office, from the leader of the social media team (brother of one of the Angels and fiancé of a member of Out of Heaven) to the general manager of the café & restaurant division (partner of the brother of a member of Out of Heaven) and even the HR lead (a very pleasant transgender woman in her late forties… who also happens to be a friend of a member of Out of Heaven).

Eventually — and much to the relief of my feet after over two hours walking in heels — Nikki announces it’s time for lunch and leads us to a large break room deep within the building. Even here, though, my mind can't stop racing, not least because of the greeting we receive when we enter the room.

“Ah, reinforcements have arrived!” Hannah Dexter giggles as she approaches us, dressed in her own very smart but still flattering black skirt suit and heels. “I’d heard a rumour that the two of you would be here today and I was NOT about to miss it, hehe!”

“Oh — oh my god, thanks!” Martha gushes, clearly still starstruck by the famous blonde Angel.

“There’s no need to be so shy!” Hannah admonishes my flatmate. “We’re all Angels now, we’re all equals, right?”

“Some of us, anyway,” Nikki says with a clearly overdramatic pout. “I mean, I AM also here….”

“You’re always here, Nikki,” Hannah says with a quiet chuckle. “God knows we’d never get anything done without you! And that’s a lesson the two of you will quickly learn, by the way.”

“Thanks,” I whisper. “So, umm, what- what are you here for today? If you don’t mind me asking, I mean?”

“…I’m here to see the two of you, of course!” Hannah replies with a giggle. “I mean, okay, I get we’re not supposed to mingle like this even with lockdown rules easing, but like I said, I am NOT missing this!”

“So you — you got all dressed up and made up just for us?” I ask incredulously — Hannah is easily one of the single most in demand women in the entire country.

“Well — yeah,” the blonde woman replies matter of factly. “I mean, you ARE family now, right? And yes, Nikki, that includes you too.”

“Th- thanks,” I whisper as Nikki giggles and Martha nods in agreement, while I wonder just how many times the word ‘family’ is going to be inappropriately used today.

“And if you’re stopping for lunch now, let me get it for you, my treat,” Hannah insists, though before I can say anything, our PA immediately chimes in.

“Meals here ARE complementary, you know?” Nikki asks with a smug grin behind her mask.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t get them for you,” Hannah giggles. “Do either of you have any food allergies, are either of you vegetarian or vegan?” And that might be the most surreal combination of question and asker I’ve had yet today, I think to myself as Martha and I both shake our heads. “Good, ‘cause the gourmet pasta salad here is AMAZING. Find a seat, I’ll bring them over.”

“Thanks,” I say, still bewildered as Nikki leads Martha and I to one of the room’s large, posh-looking dining tables.

“…Did that really just happen?” Martha asks, reassuring me that I’m not the only one thinking that.

“The only surprising thing is that Viks and a couple of the other Angels aren’t here as well,” Nikki replies with a giggle. “Probably due to it being summer holidays, but still. But to answer your question, yes, it did really happen. Hannah is as naturally friendly and bubbly as she appears on TV and on socials, but she takes the whole ‘family’ aspect of the Angels and HT as a whole extremely seriously. Possibly because of her home and school life growing up, but I — I won’t gossip, I’ll let — I’ll let her tell you about that when she’s ready.” Martha and I both nod in agreement — as famous as Hannah is, she is notoriously private about her family and her pre-Angel years. Though what Nikki said has jogged my memory of something I wanted to ask her.

“That — that reminds me,” I say tentatively. “Earlier, Nikki, you — you said you went to the same school as Sarah?”

“Well, for GCSEs, sure,” Nikki replies. “Why do you want to know?”

“Well, it’s just — you said her mother’s a doctor,” I reply. “And your dad’s a taxi driver, so I was just wondering, you know, how your family afforded it, that’s all….” I trail off and my cheeks start to flush as my companions’ faces let me know I’ve committed another major faux pas.

“It — it was just a state school,” Nikki says, clearly taken aback by my question. “It’s not like we both went to a major boarding school or anything, Sarah’s mum doesn’t believe in them, and my parents were nowhere near being able to afford it for me, heh.” I bite my lip as an awkward silence falls over the table- though it is thankfully broken moments later when our fellow ‘Angel’ returns with our lunches.

“Here you go, girlies!” Hannah says, giggling as she places 4 plates of delicious-smelling pasta on the table in front of each of us. “So… what are we talking about?”

“School life, apparently,” Nikki says, clearly struggling to maintain a friendly demeanour.

“Ugh, forget I asked,” Hannah says with a derisive snort of laughter. “I bet some of my teachers still hold the opinion that I’ll never amount to anything despite my success, heh.”

“I bet ALL of mine do,” I sigh, which thankfully earns sympathetic looks from my friends. “Most of the other pupils will no doubt think that way, too.”

“Ah — yeah, you did go to boarding school, didn’t you?” Nikki asks, sighing as I nod. “That could NOT have been fun.”

“Not really, no,” I reply with another sigh. “Don’t know how much more fun it’d have been if it was a girls’ boarding school instead, heh.”

“The uniform would probably have been better,” Nikki says, sharing a chuckle with me as Martha and Hannah roll their eyes.

“Don’t be so sure,” Martha replies. “At our school if you wore a skirt you had to wear dark tights all year round, no matter how hot it was — like today, for example.”

“…Didn’t you have the option of wearing trousers instead?” I ask.

“What, and cover up these legs?” Martha replies with a giggle. “No chance, hehe!”

“Which is why your uniforms were better,” Nikki says smugly. “Not that I never wore girls’ uniforms, of course — well, just not to school, hehe!”

“Same,” I say, sharing a giggle with our PA and breathing a quiet sigh of relief that I haven’t completely blown any chance of friendship on day one, even if Nikki and our ‘shared characteristic’ did a lot of heavy lifting just now.

Thankfully, the rest of lunch goes smoothly, and after Hannah bids us farewell, Nikki continues guiding the two of us around the office, showing us the in-house recording studio (managed by the husband of one of the Angels, who also happens to be the brother of a member of Out of Heaven) and even the fledgling mobile gaming division (not currently managed by any of the ‘family’… but with the strong implication that one of the Angels’ cousin’s boyfriend will be the lead graphics designer when he graduates from university next year).

Eventually, though, the tour reaches its final destination, and the one thing I’m most nervous about — meeting the true boss of Heavenly Talent, the owner Joshua Benedict. I have, of course, seen what rare interviews have been conducted with him, in particular the interview he did with BBC Breakfast where he publicly came out as gay. Like most multi-millionaires, he came across as very professional and strictly business-like. He’s the reason the agency is run so efficiently, why everyone dresses and acts so professionally in the office and, most importantly, is the reason I have a more than steady stream of income and can enjoy the lifestyle I’m living right now. Which means, of course, he’s the main reason I’m able to live life as a woman- as ‘Dina.’

“Okay, here we are,” Nikki says, biting her lip nervously. “Before we go in, I should just remind you that Joshua — JB senior, the big boss or whatever you want to call him, he has recently turned sixty, and he has had health issues in the past. Just — just bear that in mind.”

“Okay,” I whisper quietly as Martha nods in agreement. Slowly, Nikki opens the door to the conference room and steps aside to let us in, where I receive probably the biggest shock of the day.

“My beautiful new Angels!” Joshua Benedict booms in a voice that can probably be heard clear across London, before rushing around the table and greeting us both with tight, enthusiastic handshakes, his delighted grin obvious even behind his mask. “Come in, come in! Please take a seat, it is so good to finally meet you both in the flesh!”

“Th- thanks,” Martha says as she and I both give Nikki a playful nudge before the three of us sit down opposite Joshua, Jonathan and HR boss Janet.

“I’m sensing from the fact that Nikki can’t keep a straight face that she may have told you ‘things’ about me before coming in here?” Joshua asks, giggling as Nikki’s composure breaks and she snorts with laughter.

“Maybe one or two things,” Martha replies as our boss booms with laughter once again.

“Well I will try to keep this meeting to just one or two things,” Joshua announces. “But I wanted to be the first to properly welcome you to the Heavenly Talent family.” And there’s that word again, I think to myself.

“Thank you,” Martha and I whisper simultaneously.

“There are a few things we feel you should know about your contracts,” Joshua explains. “They are lifetime in the sense that they will never need to be renewed, but that does not mean that they are infinite.”

“The agency does reserve the right to cancel the contracts at any time,” Jonathan says, taking over from his uncle. “Things like criminal activity, drug use, that sort of thing. That’s something the agency can never be seen to be supporting.” I try not to flinch as Jonathan looks directly at me while talking, though much to my surprise, it’s Nikki who fidgets the most.

“This also extends to use of social media and the internet,” Janet continues. “Not that I believe either of you wouldn’t, but please try to use sites like Twitter and Instagram responsibly. In short, no behaving like Rowling or Linehan, to name but two.”

“I can guarantee that THAT won’t happen,” I say, earning chuckles from everyone as the meeting continues.

The rest of the meeting consists of more explanations of standards of behaviour, the workload that will be expected of us, what perks we can expect as ‘Angels’ and countless other things that I barely remember, such is the level of infodump I’ve received today.

I allow myself a small sigh of relief when Joshua calls the meeting to an end. In what I have to admit is a first, I’m actually eager to get home and get out of my skirt and my heels. However, before I can leave, my employers have other ideas.

“Dina,” Jonathan says before I can head out of the conference room, “can I just have a word with you a sec, please? Won’t take more than five minutes, I promise.”

“Umm, sure, okay,” I reply, smiling as Jonathan nods and gestures to me to follow him to his office — though my anxiety starts to rise when I see Janet follow the both of us.

When we arrive at the large, impressive office, I sit down opposite my new boss while Janet sits to one side and, much to my dismay, starts typing on an iPad.

“Dina,” Jonathan says, letting out a long sigh. “I- I want to start by saying that you’re not in any trouble.” Which is corporate-ese for ‘I am definitely in trouble,’ I think to myself as I straighten my skirt and try not to fidget. “I just — during the tour, you said a couple of things, mostly to Nikki, that I’d just like you to clarify.” I definitely AM in trouble, then, I think to myself as I wonder whether I’ll end up setting a record for the shortest-tenured Angel ever — and how many of my upcoming promotional posts — and more importantly, the money I was paid for them — I’ll end up being allowed to keep….

“Okay,” I whisper.

“First, you expressed surprise at Nikki and Sarah attending the same school, despite the difference in their economic backgrounds,” Jonathan says. “Nikki’s willing to overlook that one, but before that, when Nikki was talking about her abilities as what is effectively a concierge, you asked if she’d be able to procure items that were illegal. What exactly did you mean by that?”

“I — umm…” I reply, before sighing- the best option for me here is to tell the truth. If we’re really a ‘family,’ they’ll accept my explanation. Even though if they reject my explanation, it’ll make us even more like a ‘real family’…. “I — I was concerned.”

“Concerned?” Jonathan asks, clearly taken aback by my reply. “How, exactly?”

“I — ugh,” I sigh, before taking a deep breath. “You know about my background, right? My upbringing? My family were — well, they were upper class, knew it and wanted to make sure everyone else knew it as well.”

“Yeah, I — I read the statement they put out,” Jonathan says calmly.

“They — they looked down on what they considered ‘lesser forms of culture’ with a vengeance,” I continue. “Which includes, well, us, I suppose. Considered — well, people like us to be degenerates… heh. Even if I wasn’t trans, they’d probably all have a collective aneurysm at the thought of me being subordinate to a black man and a trans woman.”

“Not ‘subordinate’ exactly, but go on,” Jonathan urges me.

“So — yeah,” I sigh. “They see shows like — well, like the Angels, and assume that these parties must be drug-fuelled orgies or something. Same with the schooling thing, they can’t conceive that anything of any worth ever came out of a state school. I guess — heh. I guess I’m just prejudiced, and this — this’ll take me some time to work through. Maybe I applied for the show a year early, I dunno.”

“Well, given that you won the show, I’d say you applied at exactly the right time,” Jonathan says with a warm smile that starts to put me at ease. “As for prejudiced… you can’t help your origins any more than I or anyone else can. I’d say you do owe Nikki an apology, though, just to be on the safe side, but I — I don’t see any reason not to believe what you’re saying. It IS a big adjustment. Hell, any time someone starts a new job, it’s a big adjustment, and it can be hard to know where and how to fit in. But believe me when I say that you can trust us. We do consider ourselves to be a-”

“Family, yes, I know,” I interrupt. “I’ve heard that a lot today and I — I don’t really know what to think. It’s easy to call the place ‘family’ when your uncle literally owns it, or you’re related to half of the people here or have been friends for donkey’s years but it — it just makes it harder as an outsider, you know? And that — even though I'm 'officially' an Angel, that’s what I feel like, an outsider. That’s what I AM. You say it can be hard to know where and how to fit in. Right now, it — it’s almost impossible for me to figure that out.” I bite my lip to try to keep myself from crying, but in vain as tears start to stream down my cheeks. However, the next thing I’m aware of is Janet crouching down next to me, placing one hand gently on my back and handing me a tissue with her other hand, her iPad nowhere to be seen.

“It’s okay,” Janet says in a calm, almost motherly voice. “You cry if you need to.” I nod my thanks as I try to dry my eyes enough to see Jonathan looking at me with a warm smile on his face.

“Okay, first,” Jonathan says, taking a deep breath. “I’m glad that you feel comfortable enough to be able to open up to me like that. Don’t ever feel like you need to hide your feelings, or that if you’re having problems that you can’t talk to us. Any of us. One thing my uncle taught me is that good bosses help people they work with solve their problems, they don’t just dismiss them or make them worse. Second, that brings me back to what you just said: ‘subordinate.’ You’re not a subordinate. I’d rather you work WITH me than FOR me. Okay, I make the decisions in the office, but I’m never going to order you around or ask — not tell, ask — you to do something you’re not comfortable with doing. And thirdly… I get that you feel like an outsider. I really do. ‘We’re a family here’ is one of the biggest cliches an employer can say to a new hire so it’s only natural for you to be sceptical, and I acknowledge that it won’t happen overnight. But you asked what role you should play here? That’s an easy one for me to answer. The ‘role’ you should play is Dina Williams. That’s who the other girls wanted in their ranks. That’s who we’re promoting as our newest Angel. And most of all, that’s who you are, okay? Be Dina, because nobody can be Dina better than you can.” I wouldn’t be so sure about THAT, I think to myself as I take several deep breaths and calm myself down.

“Th- thanks,” I whisper.

“It’s going to be especially hard with you so early in your transition,” Janet says softly. “Both Jamie and Kelly had been transitioning for a long time when they became Angels, but as I understand it, you’re not even on HRT yet, are you?”

“Not yet,” I reply with a whisper.

“It’s not going to be easy,” Janet says. “But it’s a journey that many of us are familiar with, and will not just be able, but willing to help you with every step of the way. If you’ll let us?”

“S- sure,” I say, sharing a smile with the older woman. “Thanks.”

“So, we got off to a bit of a rocky start today,” Jonathan says with a shrug. “These things happen. If you’re telling me that the things you said were innocent and out of concern rather than anything else, I see no reason not to believe you. Get yourself home, get rested up for the rest of the day, we’ll start again tomorrow. Just remember: you’ll never be out of place here as long as you just be yourself.”

“…Thank you,” I say, smiling genuinely for what feels like the first time today. “And I — I will apologise to Nikki. Heh, I need to get into her good graces if I’m going to be counselled by her mother-in-law, which I really hope I am.”

“I’ll make sure Nikki sets up the introduction for you,” Janet says. “I see Beverly myself and trust me, you will be in the safest possible hands. Just like you are here.”

“Thank you,” I say, my smile widening as my confidence builds. In a meeting like this, my previous employer — well, previous family now, I suppose — would’ve laid down the law even if it was just a case of someone’s figures being 1% below where they should be. The fact that they treated my possible case of misconduct with kid gloves tells me that maybe, just maybe this place is a family after all — and I might, for the first time ever, have found a place where I actually belong.

However, like most ‘families,’ there are occasionally disagreements, and I take a deep breath as I — accompanied by Janet — return to the reception area and immediately spot the young woman I both want and need to talk to.

“H- hey, Nikki, do you have a second?” I ask, distracting the brown-haired woman as she heads toward what I assume is her office.

“Umm, sure,” Nikki replies, clearly unsure how to react to me right now but gesturing for me to follow her nonetheless. “Please, take a seat.” I smile as Janet and I sit down in the small office, while Nikki perches on the edge of her desk, which I can’t help but notice is filled with photos of her and her wife — as are half of the walls.

“I — I want to apologise for any offence I may have caused earlier,” I say bluntly but (hopefully Nikki realises is) sincerely. “Asking about your schooling, I — I suppose I’m set in my ways, a product of my own upbringing. I’ve had ‘class’ drilled into my brain for so long it’s going to take a while to get rid of all my preconceptions but I — I’d like us to be friends, if possible?”

“Well — obviously I’d like that too,” Nikki replies, her smile letting me know I’m instantly forgiven, much to my relief. “Like my mentor and your new colleague says, you can never have too many, right?”

“Yeah,” I say with a relieved chuckle. “Th- thanks. I didn’t want to completely screw things up on my first day here.”

“Oh, believe me, you’d need to do WAY more than that to screw things up,” Nikki says, before letting out a long, sad sigh. “There — there’s a reason I’m a PA and I haven’t been in front of a camera — in an official capacity, anyway — in over four years.”

“Okay,” I say, confused by my new friend’s sudden confession. “If — if you don’t want to-”

“No, it — it’s better you learn this now, heh,” Nikki sighs. “Four years ago, on my hen night, I — heh. You’ve already met three members of the former ‘Teen Angels’ including myself, and you’ll probably meet the fourth one, Lauren, soon. There was a fifth, a tall blonde bitch named Dannii Samson.”

“I remember her,” I say as the name rings a bell. “Didn’t she join that rip-off group, Constellation?”

“Yep,” Nikki replies. “And shortly afterward gatecrashed mine and Sarah’s hen night, hurling all manner of transphobic and homophobic abuse at the two of us. I responded by hurling a few fists at her face and, well, no more modelling career for me, no more working with Out of Heaven — who were really big at the time — no foreign travel for almost a year and 120 hours of scrubbing graffiti off of the walls and ‘unofficial public urinals’ of London.”

“Yikes,” I say with a grimace.

“Thankfully, I am employed by the best firm in the world,” Nikki chuckles. “They kept me on limited duties until everything blew over, pretty much every media outlet that covered the incident agreed that there was clear and overwhelming provocation. Dunno if they’d be so kind to me in a post-Rowling era, though, and I’m dreading it ever resurfacing, hence why I stay strictly behind the camera. Heh, kinda as a ‘seriously watch your behaviour’ warning and a ‘but you also work for the most understanding bosses ever’ reassurance.”

“Got it,” I say with a smile.

“I wasn’t working with the agency when all of this happened,” Janet interjects. “But I — I have had my issues with mental health in the past, and I can say with absolute certainty that you’ll never find a more understanding place to work. Heh, I actually cheered when the office reopened, even after a year of working from home.”

“The culture here is — well, I’d never want to work anywhere else,” Nikki concurs.

“But like Jonathan says,” Janet continues, “it’s important that you don’t try to change yourself too much to fit in with the culture here, if that makes sense. The best you that you can be is yourself. That's what Nikki’s mother-in-law often says, and that’s what I presume she’ll say to you once Nikki sets up an initial meeting for the two of you.”

“Hint taken,” Nikki giggles as she sits down behind her desk and opens up her iPad. “She doesn’t normally work Thursday afternoons, but I’ll fire her a message to see if she can fit you in for an initial meeting then, if you’d like? Ah — no, wait, can’t make Thursday at all I’m afraid, because you, Miss Williams, have a fancy launch event to look girly and gorgeous at!”

“What — what launch?” I ask.

“Kayla Ford’s solo album,” Nikki replies. “She’s in Out of Heaven, sure, but that’s still HT, and when one of us succeeds, we all celebrate! Don’t worry, I’ll send you a brief of what it’ll involve, but it’s mostly just ‘wear an expensive dress, look as gorgeous as possible and cheer whenever Kayla says or especially sings anything.’ It’s a pretty gentle introduction into Angel life, and yes, for these things you’ll normally get more than three days’ notice, heh. But I’ll set you up a meeting for Beverly some time afterwards, and if there’s anything you need in the meantime, you’re in all the WhatsApp groups so all you need to do is ask, really.”

“…Thanks,” I chuckle. “And I — I’m sure I’ll start feeling like ‘one of the family’ soon enough. God knows I’ve never felt more welcome anywhere in my life.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Nikki chuckles. “And this is just day one! Imagine how things’ll be a year from now, heh.”

“Yeah,” I whisper as I do exactly that.

Twelve months ago, at the start of Covid, I’d thought that all my dreams had come true at once when I was able to be ‘Dina’ almost 24/7. However, back then I knew I was living a life of fantasy, aspiring — pretending, even — to be someone or something I knew I never could be. Now, twelve months later, I AM the aspiration. I am unambiguously a woman 24/7. I have a lifestyle and career that even cis women would envy. And now I know that I have some of the most supportive colleagues — or rather, friends — ever. I’m now part of a team, a network of incredible women, many of whom have been where I am now and are falling over themselves to act as my guide along my path and even help boost me along the path, such as when it comes to HRT. Maybe that’s what a ‘true’ family is, not united by blood, or genetics or even a surname, but rather united by a common cause, a common goal — that goal being simply to ensure that everyone in the ‘family’ is as happy as possible.

One thing’s for certain — out of the Constable family and Heavenly Talent, only one ‘family’ has embraced ‘Dina’ with open arms….

Three days later, I find myself striding confidently through the large but (thanks to Covid) relatively sparse reception area that’s been set up for my ‘stablemate’s album launch. I’m wearing a tight, slinky long-sleeved black dress with an asymmetric skirt that’s cut so high on one side the strap of my thong is almost showing, along with matching pumps with a five inch platform heel (having been told in advance that the star of today’s show is so petite it doesn’t really matter how high my heels are). My hair and make-up have been immaculately styled — for free — by Heavenly Talent’s salon, the beautician I saw being, of course, the fiancée of the brother of one of the Angels — though that just means she's also part of MY extended family. I feel like a million dollars, and the number of photos that have already been taken of me in the short time I’ve been here just reinforces that feeling, as well as the feeling that this is somewhere I truly belong. Which gives me the confidence to do something I never thought I could even as recently as a week ago….

“Hey Steph!” I say to one quarter of Out of Heaven as we each grab a glass of complementary champagne. “I hoped I’d get to meet you here today!”

“Oh- hey, Dina!” Stephanie Abbott — the world-famous singer — says with a giggle. “I LOVE that dress, is it bespoke or a label?”

“Label,” I reply. “I’ll text you a link when I get home, it’d go AMAZING with those boots, hehe!”

“I’ve got to keep up appearances,” Stephanie replies as she playfully shows off her stiletto-heeled legwear. “Even though I don’t want to show up today’s star — not that I’d dare, of course, even if she wasn’t the love of my life, heh!”

“Yeah,” I chuckle as I watch the singer stare longingly at the petite blonde girl on the stage, with whom she’s been involved for almost four years, reminding me that as great as my life is right now, it’s still incomplete. I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever share a love like the one Stephanie shares with Kayla, or Nikki shares with Sarah — and I can’t help but wonder if I do share that kind of love, whether it’ll be with Dina Black….