A World To Give

Nelson steps in to help out his company when his twin sister, Rowan,
unexpectedly leaves to take another job. While assuming her identity, he
realizes that there is a lot more to the world than he’d previously known and
he decides to take some chances he never took before.

Nelson discovered a whole new world!

---

Author's Note:This is the part where Nelson dives in deep. I hope you all can really connect with what he/she does now. I really did try do this right. ~Clara.

Image Credit: https://perchance.org/beautiful-people
 
 
Chapter 3
 
“Why does it have to be a black dress, specifically?” Nelson asked as Jessie quickly sorted through the clothes in Rowan’s closets.

“Well, it doesn’t HAVE to be black, but black is classy and makes women like you look good.”

“You mean women who are actually men.”

“I mean pale women, Nelson. The contrast of the black dress and your lily-white skin is always a lovely look. And since most of the skin on your body has never seen the sunshine, calling your skin color ‘pale’ is a gross understatement.”

He shrugged. “I’m not outdoorsy, okay? I prefer being indoors with a computer. I always have.” He was clad only in his sister’s chenille robe.

“And it shows,” Jessie teased. “Here! This is the one I wanted. She wore it to Kelly-Anne’s wedding last year and she looked amazing in it. Thank God, she didn’t take it to England with her.”

“Yeah,” Nelson said, looking a little surprised that Jessie had chosen this particular dress. He had seen Rowan wearing it a few times and she always looked beautiful, but it also showed off her… décolletage. “Isn’t it a little low cut for me?”

“Not at all,” Jessie smirked. “I’m sure that you have noticed that your sister isn’t all that well endowed.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, when I was digging through her lingerie drawers this morning, getting things for you, I noticed that she had a few enhancing bras that will…”

“Enhance me,” Nelson said, feeling both a little embarrassed and a little excited at the prospect of getting… pretty.

“Exactly.” Jessie grinned. “Are you dry yet?” When they had arrived at Rowan’s, the first thing Jessie had commanded was for Nelson to coat every inch of his body from his nose down with a cream that had completely removed his body hair. He’d had to rinse that off in the shower. Since then, he’d been naked except for the chenille robe.

“I think so.”

“Good. Let’s find you some panties, then I’ll put some makeup on your arms and legs, so they don’t look quite as chalky as they normally do. Then I’ll help you with a little evening makeup and we’ll get you dressed.”

By six-forty Jessie was putting her coat on. Nelson was dressed and looking as pretty as a picture for his date with Bill O’Connell. He had been surprised as to how soft and cool the panties he wore were, now that he was completely hairless where his pubis had been. Jessie had told him to remove everything from his nose down, but she hadn’t expected him to lose that particular bit of hair. Of course, she wasn’t aware that he’d removed it, but Nelson was enjoying his new, heightened sense of the silky texture that now caressed that area.

The dress was wonderfully light and hung perfectly from his shoulders to his newly created breasts, which looked as real to him as Rowan’s did, to just above his knees. It was dripping in delicate lace and had cap sleeves that were nothing more than splashes of lace where his arms met his shoulders.

He wore basic, black pattern leather pumps with a two-and-a-half-inch heel which he found remarkably comfortable, especially since he’d never worn heels before, and he found them very easy to walk in as well. Jessie was very pleased with how well he looked, moved and presented himself. In fact, the heels gave Nelson a bit of a rear end, something he had been lacking before.

“Do you think he’ll like the way I look?” Nelson asked as he stared at himself in full length mirror in Rowan’s bedroom. He just couldn’t get his head around the fact that the person in the mirror was actually him.

Jessie pulled her coat onto her shoulders and looked at him. “I can’t imagine why he wouldn’t.”

Nelson smiled just a little.

“Nelson?” Jessie asked. “Do you want Bill to like the way you look because I asked you to help the company land his account, or are you… attracted to Bill?”

Nelson looked at her and blushed deeply. “Because… for the company,” he sputtered. “I mean, why… why would I… I mean… I’m not… you know…” He looked in the mirror and then back to Jessie. “I’m not.”

Jessie nodded. “Ok.” She considered the way the young man looked and how willing he had been to go on a date that night. “You know, Nelson… there is nothing wrong with having feelings for a man. You understand that, right? Bill is a very good-looking man… he’s smart, successful, he dresses very well… he’s a great catch for the right person. And if you’re finding yourself attracted to him, there’s no shame in being…”

“I’m not,” he snapped a little too emphatically.

“Ok.” She let out a sigh, not having meant to upset him. “I guess I should go.”

He nodded.

She paused. “Just… Be careful, ok? And call me if you have any trouble.”

He nodded.

“Call me when you get home.”

“Why?”

“So, I know you’re ok.”

That seemed odd to him. “O… ok.”

She hesitated. Maybe this was wrong. “Nelson… if you don’t feel comfortable doing this…”

“Jess… I’ve never been more comfortable in my life.”
 
 

 
 
Rowan was exhausted. Everything was new and had a learning curve and she was not the kind of person who liked a learning curve. Her whole life, she’d been the kind of person that learned everything without any effort. Now, everything was just a bit off.

London looked an awful lot like Boston, but it wasn’t. Under the surface, everything was just a little different.

Her new apartment building looked a lot like her building back home, but it wasn’t. It was a block of flats, and it even smelled different than home. The neighbors made different kinds of food than her neighbors at home.

The people she worked with were similar to the people she’d worked with at Global, but they weren’t. They were all nice enough, but they weren’t her friends. For the first time in her life, she was lonely. Very, very lonely.

She looked at her phone and thought about calling someone just to have a conversation, but almost everyone she wanted to talk to worked at Global and might be hurt by her abrupt departure.

She could call Nelson.

She would love to talk to him, but that could take a lot of effort. Nelson was a yes/no kind of guy on the phone. She’d have to do the yeoman’s work in a conversation with her twin brother, but she really wanted to hear his voice, so she called him.
 
 

 
 
Nelson was just closing the door behind Jessie when his phone rang on the counter. He hurried and saw it was Rowan. This was odd. Here he was, standing in Rowan’s apartment, looking just like Rowan and wearing her clothes, and she was calling him.

She couldn’t see him, could she?

Only one way to find out.

“Hey,” he said, trying very hard not to sound guilty.

“Hey,” Rowan said, sounding as upbeat as possible. “How are you?”

“Good, good,” he said, wondering when she would ask him why he was in her apartment and why he looked like her.

“So…” Rowan searched for something to say, then remembered what day it was. “So, how did it go with O’Connell?”

“Great, great. We got the contract, mostly because of you.”

“Oh, I doubt that,” Rowan chuckled. “Global is a great company. I’m sure you all impressed him.”

“I guess,” he said, nonchalantly.

“I’m glad it went well. I felt bad that I left at such an important time, but opportunity was knocking, so…”

“I know,” Nelson tried to sound as supportive as he could. “How are things going?”

“Good, I guess.”

“You guess. That doesn’t sound like you.”

Rowan sighed. “I’m just lonely, I think.”

Nelson didn’t really know what to say, so he said, “Sorry.”

“Not your fault,” she said with a nervous laugh at the end, “So… what are you up to? Take out food and streaming a documentary?”

“Actually,” Nelson suddenly felt excited to share something, “I’m going out in a date.”

Immediately he knew he should not have said that, but the fact was, he was very excited.

“A date!?” Rowan was suddenly very interested. “With my neighbor? With Melissa?”

“No, with…” he put on the brakes. “With… someone else.”

“Who? What’s her name? What’s she like? Do I know her?” The questions came fast and furious while Nelson stuttered and tried to figure out what to say.”

“No, you don’t know… them. I’d rather not say right now. I’ll tell you about it later. Ok?”

“Oh, you’re no fun,” Rowan laughed.

“I should probably get going, Ro. It’s almost seven here and…”

“Ok, ok, but tomorrow you need to tell me everything. Ok?” She was very excited for him. She’d wanted him to date since they were in high school, but he just couldn’t be bothered with it. Nelson going on a date was a big deal!

“Ok,” he conceded, although what he’d be able to tell her, he wasn’t quite sure. “I gotta go.”

“Ok. Love you.”

There it was again. That awkward phrase. It was hard to get used to – for both of them.

“Ok. Love you too,” he replied, just as awkwardly.

The call ended.

Nelson checked the time on his phone. Six-fifty-six. Holy cow. Bill would be here any second. Did he have everything he needed? He had a small purse, a clutch, Jessie called it, loaded with everything he’d need, a warm, elegant, wool coat and a pair of slender, black leather gloves that may offer a little protection from the cold Massachusetts winter air.

He checked himself in the mirror, something he rarely, if ever, did when wearing his usual clothes. He knew how he looked in those; drab and usual. In Rowan’s clothes, particularly in this dress, he felt… pretty. Almost beautiful.

He loved how every item of clothing hung from him so softly, so elegantly. It made him lightheaded and he nearly swooned at the feel of it all. He turned slightly to the right to check that the dress looked nice from that angle and then left to check that angle as well. Everything looked adorable and he loved it.

The bell rang from the building’s exterior front door. There was a camera and speaker connecting the apartment to that entrance, but Nelson had no idea how to use any of it. So, he just pushed the ‘enter’ button and hoped for the best.

A couple of minutes later there was a soft knock on the door. Nelson opened it and there stood Bill.

As handsome as he’d looked earlier at the office, he looked even better now. So damned handsome. His dark hair was perfectly combed, his cheeks clean shaven, his strong, chiseled chin beneath a flawless smile, a suit that was tailored perfectly and showed off his trim physique, and even his shoes shined brightly and seemed to compliment his natural good looks.

Nelson’s heart skipped a beat. His skin erupted in goosebumps. A shiver ran down his spine. How could someone possibly be this handsome?

‘Wow!” Bill O’Connell said, entering the apartment, “You look amazing.”

“I do?” Nelson said, shocked that anyone would ever find him attractive.

Bill laughed, thinking his date was being coy. “You certainly do.” He held out a bouquet of roses that Nelson had not noticed.

This was new. No one had ever given Nelson flowers before. As he sniffed the sweet aroma of the red flowers, he felt Bill lean over and softly kiss Nelson’s cheek.

Nelson’s knees nearly buckled. It wasn’t just the rather innocent kiss. It was the scent of him. It was the way his presence enveloped him. It was the feeling of excitement Bill gave him in his belly. It was the way he felt as if a part of him that he’d never much thought about got so excited that it felt as if it wanted to grow and it wanted to retreat into him all at the same time.

It was everything.

He felt so pretty, he felt so empowered, and he felt so very, very vulnerable, almost naked before this glorious man.

The feelings were overwhelming and he didn’t know quite what to do, so he just stood there; still and silent, staring at Bill.

“Maybe you should put those in water,” Bill suggested.

“Oh… yes… of course.” Nelson went into the kitchen and searched for a vase. He couldn’t find one, but he found a blue and white striped Cornishware jug that had been their mother’s favorite wildflower vase. He put water and the roses in that, then found Bill in the living room, looking out the window at the view of Lake Quinsigamond.

He turned his head as Nelson approached. “This is a lovely view. I love having a view of water outside of my window. It’s very calming.”

That was what Rowan always said, too, so Nelson smiled and said, “I agree.”

Bill looked at a photo in a frame on a side table nearby and pointed at it. “Is that your family?”

Nelson glanced at the photo of Rowan, their mother and himself and nearly panicked. “Oh… yeah… that’s my mom, my… brother and me down The Cape when I was about fourteen.”

Bill picked up the picture and examined it. “Even when you were that young and with that sunburned face, you were still beautiful.”

“Thank you.” He knew the compliment was aimed at Rowan, but it still felt nice.

“Does your mother live nearby?”

“She did,” Nelson said, sounding a little sadder than he’d expected. “When I was growing up, we lived a few miles from here. Then she moved in with my brother when he could afford it.”

“Where is she now?”

“She passed away a few months ago.”

‘Oh, geez, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

“No, it’s ok. It’s just one of those things, you know. She was fine, then she was really sick, then she was gone. It happens.”

Bill, seeing that his date was a little emotional, put an arm around Nelson’s shoulders and gave him a gentle squeeze. “I guess. I didn’t know my dad. My mother is in Florida enjoying her retirement. I call her almost every day.”

“That’s nice,” Nelson smiled and nodded.

“And your brother?”

“What about him?” That may have come out with a bit more of a defense tone than he’d intended.

“Is he still around here?”

“Oh… yeah. Just a few miles away.”

“Nice. Do you still talk?”

“Everyday,” Nelson smirked and laughed a bit.

Bill smiled and looked at his watch. “We should get down to the car. Ready?”

Nelson nodded and grabbed Rowan’s coat, but Bill took it from him and helped slide it up his arms. Then, as Nelson buttoned the coat, Bill grabbed the elegant little clutch purse and handed it to him.

They headed downstairs and out the front door, where a well-dressed man stepped out of a black Lincoln town car and opened the door for Nelson, who had to think for a moment before sitting and modestly swinging his legs into the car. Bill hustled to the other side, climbed in and the car pulled away.

Nelson had never been in such an elegant vehicle before. He thought his little Kia hybrid was a nice car. This car was gorgeous.

Leather seats, lots of space, everything appointed in such a tastefully posh way…

“So,” Bill said, filling what he perceived as an awkward silence, “Rowan isn’t a name you hear everyday.”

“I do,” Nelson said, not meaning to be funny, but Bill laughed anyway.

“Yeah, I bet you do.”

Bill’s laugh was infectious and it made Nelson smile.

“What does it mean?” Bill asked.

“My name?” Of course, Nelson knew the answer to that question. Rowan was his middle name. “It means ‘red head.’”

“Really?”

Nelson’s eyes continued to scan every surface of the town car as he spoke. “Well, it’s the Gaelic word for a certain kind of tree that has red berries, so it looks like it has red hair.”

“So, your mom named you Rowan because you had red hair when you were born?”

Nelson giggled. “No. I didn’t have red hair until I asked my hairdresser to dye my hair red. ‘Rowan’ was my grandmother’s last name. My mother just liked it as a middle name for me.”

“I do too,” Bill smiled. “So, you’re Irish?”

“My family name is Egan. That’s about as Irish as you can get.”

“You know, that’s what I would have guessed. You’ve got Irish eyes.”

That caught Nelson’s attention. “I do?”

“Yeah. You do. They’re bright blue and they twinkle.”

“My eyes twinkle?”

“They sure do,” Bill smiled, and, oh my God, what a smile!

Just a few minutes later the car pulled up to a building that didn’t look much like a restaurant.

“Where are we?” Nelson asked.

“I’m told it’s the best dinner club in the area.”

“Are you sure? It just looks like an office building.”

The driver had gotten out and opened Nelson’s door.

Bill had opened his own door and quickly came around to offer his date a hand. “If you’re good enough, you don’t need to put out a sign.”

Bill took Nelson’s arm and linked his own around it, then led him into the building. They took the elevator to the top floor and entered the most beautiful dining room Nelson had ever seen. It was dimly lit, but the room positively sparked with real crystal glasses and real silver flatware.

Nelson had never really thought much about aesthetics. His life had always been about achieving his potential and nothing else. His life was numbers. Black and white numbers that added up perfectly. End of story. He read books about numbers. He filled books with numbers. He worked with numbers and he worked for numbers. There was an elegance in the logic and consistency of numbers. That’s all he ever knew. In the rest of the world, things were as they were and he didn’t need to find beauty or ugliness in them. He just needed to exist.

Joy wasn’t ever a part of his life. Satisfaction, yes. Math gave him a lot of satisfaction, but joy… No.

But now… something had happened. Something had flipped a switch in his brain.

Now, clothes felt so different. So soft and sensual.

Now, Bill O’Connell wasn’t just a guy. He was a beautiful, handsome man.

Now, an apartment didn’t just have to be a place to eat and sleep. It could be a lovely place with a view of a lake that was relaxing and gorgeous.

Now, a restaurant didn’t have to just be a place to grab something to eat at home. It could be like this – beautiful and exciting.

That was how he felt now, too: Beautiful and exciting.

And he really liked those new feelings

He liked them a lot.

And he wanted them to continue.

Bill spoke to the maître d’ who showed them to a table. He then helped Nelson with his chair in a very gallant way. Nelson caught a glimpse of Bill slipping a tip to the maître d’, and he was pretty sure it was more than one one-hundred-dollar bill.

There were other couples who were seated and eating well plated, delicious smelling food, as a small band, four musicians and a female singer, played some music quietly across the dance floor, where a few couples danced. It was like a scene from a movie – not the movies that Nelson watched, but the romantic ones that Rowan watched.

“This is nice,” Bill said.

“It’s beautiful,” Nelson said, still looking around the room in awe.

Bill watched his date. He knew the place was impressive – that was the point, after all – but the way her eyes sparkled with excitement was just so charming to watch. Rowan had fascinated him when they had spoken on the phone and over Zoom calls, but in person, she was a complete surprise. Less sure of herself. Unworldly. Kind of innocent. Unexperienced. He liked it. He felt like he was opening new worlds to her already, and he wanted to do more of that.

A server came to their table and filled their water glasses while explaining the dinner club’s limited menu for the evening. Not a single item was familiar to Nelson. When Bill had ordered, both the server and Bill looked at Nelson, who had no idea what to order. “Anything is fine,” he finally said.

The server looked confused, but Bill smiled. “The lady will have the filet mignon, thank you.” Then he ordered a bottle of wine.

“So, tell me about yourself,” Bill said.

Nelson felt the need to be a little vague. “Not much to tell. I grew up a few miles from where I live now. We were pretty poor, but we had a good mom who worked hard to give us a good life. I was smart enough to get a scholarship to a good college. I got my bachelor’s degree in two years, then my master’s and PhD pretty quickly after that.”

“Then?”

He shrugged. “Then… I met you. That’s really about it. No travel, no love interests… just work.”

“Well, that’s kind of sad,” Bill said sincerely. “I think we’ll have to change that.”

Nelson cocked his head a bit confused. ‘We?’ Rather than ask that question, though, he asked, “How about you? Tell me about your life.”

Bill thought for a moment, then said, “Same as you, I guess. Great mom, no dad. Mom was a teacher, I was a lousy student with some dyslexia issues, but a mom who wouldn’t let me give up on myself. Barely made it through high school, did ok in college and grad school, and then stumbled into a career that I had no training for, no experience in, but I found that I had a talent for marketing myself and my ideas and I got very, very, very lucky.” He smiled. “Then I met you.”

Nelson had been a rapt audience as Bill had spoken. It wasn’t just what he said, but the sound of his voice and the way he looked at Nelson that had kept him engaged. “So, no travel for you either?”

“Oh, I’ve traveled,” Bill laughed. “I’ve been pretty much everywhere, I guess. Mostly for business, but sometimes for pleasure. It’s a beautiful world, Nelly. I’d love to show it to you.”

Nelson started at the sound of his own name. “Nelly?”

Bill smiled. “Yeah. You said that was your real name. I wanted to try it out. I kinda like it. It suits you.”

Honestly, hearing Bill say his name was kind of amazing. Rowan, the real Rowan, was the only one who used that nickname, and he hated it when she said it. When Bill said it though… it just sounded… nice.

“Do you mind if I call you Nelly?” Bill asked.

“No.” He could feel himself smile and blush. “Not at all.”

Then, Bill stood and extended a hand. “Come on. Let’s dance.”

Suddenly, the warmth that Nelson had felt at the sound of his own name was replaced by red hot fear. “Dance? I… I can’t dance.”

“Don’t be silly,” Bill laughed. “Everyone can dance.”

“Not me! I’ve never danced in my life.”

‘Impossible,” Bill smiled. “Come on. I’ll lead/you follow. It’s easy.”

Nelson took Bill’s hand and stood, uncertain as to what was about to happen.

When they reached the sparsely populated dance floor, Bill turned him so they faced each other. He put Nelson’s left hand on his shoulder, then he took Nelson’s right hand in his left as he placed his own right hand on Nelson’s left hip – which was a very exciting place for his hand to rest. There was a small gap between them.

“Just follow where I lead, ok?”

Nelson nodded nervously.

It was shaky at first, but Bill was patient. “Don’t look at your feet, look at my eyes.”

Nelson did.

“Now we’re going to move a bit and I’ll be turning you around sometimes. Ok?”

Nelson nodded and followed. They moved and swayed and glided. It was wonderful, and at some point, the gap between them closed then disappeared completely and Nelson realized that his head was now resting on Bill’s chest. It was wonderful. He felt safe and warm and protected. Bill smelled of good, clean soap and shaving cream, and his chest was strong and broad. His voice sounded even bigger and more manly from this position.

Abruptly the song ended. Bill released his date to applaud the band. Nelson almost fell when Bill let go of him. He’d been nearly hypnotized by all of the sensations he’d felt as they danced.

Bill took his hand. “Come on. I think the wine is at our table. Let’s relax and get ready for our meal. We’ll dance again, soon.”

The wine was amazing, but of course, Nelson had no frame of reference for how wine tasted. This just tasted wonderful. Fruity and crisp, with just a hint of an after bite.

The soup course was next. It was a rich lemon chicken that had more flavor than anything he’d ever eaten before. Now, it is important to remember that nearly every meal Nelson had ever eaten consisted of a spinach salad with some kind of grilled protein, usually unseasoned chicken, on it and no dressing. A Big Mac would have tasted exotic to him at that moment, but this was a nice soup and a very tasty, very expensive wine.

It really tasted good.

They chatted through the main course and the dessert, which was a sticky toffee pudding. Everything tasted wonderful, and even though Nelson said more than he typically would have, Bill did the bulk of the talking, which was fine with Nelson. Bill had been everywhere, done everything, meet so many people… it was all fascinating to Nelson.

“Come on,” Bill said, standing, “let’s dance off some of that dinner.”

A little surprised, Nelson took Bill’s hand, stood and followed him back to the dance floor. The song the band was playing ended as they arrived, but they immediately began to play a tune that was familiar to Nelson.

Bill positioned them as they had been when dancing before and began leading him around the dance floor. Then, astoundingly, Bill began to sing along with the singer. Not too loudly, but certainly loud enough to be heard. And he sounded quite good.

“I see trees of green,” he sang, “Red roses too. I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.”

The sound of Bill’s voice resonated through his chest and filled Nelson with warmth. So, he laid his head once again upon the man’s suit coat and enjoyed the feelings.
 
 
               “I see skies of blue and clouds of white
               The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
               And I think to myself, what a wonderful world…”
 
 

 
 
He didn’t want this night to end. He’d never experienced anything like this before. Deep down he knew how wrong this was. This guy thought he was Rowan, but… God, it had been such a wonderful night. Bill was so handsome and he’d been so nice and everything had been so perfect and so romantic… Honestly, if Rowan had told him that she’d had an evening like this with a guy, he would have gagged, but now he understood how wonderful an evening could be and he wanted it all to go on forever.

“I hope you had a nice time,” Bill said as they approached the door to Rowan’s apartment.

Nelson dug into his purse and pulled out the key. “I had a wonderful time. Thank you, Bill. It was a truly wonderful evening.”

Bill smiled and took the key, opening the door. Then he stood and looked at Nelson for a solid minute, lightly touching both of his arms. Finally, he said, ‘I had a wonderful evening, too. You know, you’re a lot different than I expected from our conversations on the phone and online.”

“Am I?”

“Yeah. A lot different. Even your smile is different. It’s more beautiful than I could have imagined. You’re an amazing person, Nelly.”

Nelson blushed, not knowing how to respond.

Before he knew what was happening, Bill bent low and then hesitated just an inch or so from Nelson’s lips. Then he leaned forward and, ever so softly, kissed him.

It was a moment that changed Nelson forever. Bill felt so big, so firm, so powerful, and Nelson felt so small, so soft, so… so safe in his embrace… so complete in his warmth… so… at home.

Eventually Bill stood straight and ended the kiss. It nearly broke Nelson’s heart.

There was a moment of silence before Bill said, “I was planning on flying out tomorrow morning, but I could put off leaving until the evening. How about lunch?”

Nelson smiled. “I’d like that.”

Bill smiled back. “I’ll find someplace nice. I’ll be by your office to pick you up about one.”

“Ok.”

Bill pushed the door further open. “Goodnight, Nelly Egan. Thank you for a lovely evening.” He smiled and oh, that smile! Then, after another moment, he turned and walked away.

When he was out of sight, Nelson entered Rowan’s apartment, closed the door and fell back against it. “Oh, my God,” he whispered. “Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.” What an evening it had been. He had never experienced anything like that in his entire life.

He stood and walked into the apartment, reaching into the small purse where his phone was waiting as well as four texts from Jessie asking if he was home yet and had everything gone ok. The last text had come in just a few minutes earlier. He text back ‘JUST GOT HOME. EVERYTHING WENT GREAT. TALK IN THE MORNING.’
 
 

 
 
It took just about seven minutes for Nelson’s sense of euphoria to dissolve into fear, guilt, self-pity and sorrow. Without the presence of Bill O’Connell and the spell that he cast on him; he was able to evaluate the evening’s events.

What had he done?

Why on earth had he ever done any of this? Why had he agreed to impersonate Rowan? Why had he gone to such great lengths to assume her identity? Why had he accepted Bill’s invitation? Why had he danced with him? Why had he kissed him? Why? Why? Why?

Was he gay?

He’d never thought so. He’d always assumed he was straight but hadn’t found the right woman. If he wasn’t gay, then what had he felt when he was with Bill?

That was definitely a sexual attraction. Even then, without Bill being nearby, if he thought about his eyes, or his scent, or his voice, or his smile, or his touch…

And then if he thought about what he’d like to do with Bill, or to Bill, or have Bill do to him…

No. There was no doubt about it. He was definitely gay. How had he not known that?

Ok. He was gay, but then what?

He had to admit to himself that he was, as the saying went, truly, madly, deeply smitten with Bill O’Connell. He had no interest in pursuing anyone else.

But how. How could this possibly work out?

Bill wasn’t gay, and Bill wasn’t interested in Nelson Egan at all. He was interested in Rowan Egan – a woman – and when he found out that Nelly Egan was a man…

Without expecting it, emotions erupted up inside of him. He’d hardly shed a tear when his mother had died, for crying out loud, but now, the tears and sobs came so hard that he could barely breathe.

He didn’t have the strength to even go lay on the bed. He fell onto the sofa that overlooked that beautiful view of Lake Quinsigamond and he cried, he cried, and he cried. He couldn’t think of any solution that would bring him and Bill together in a lasting, loving and meaningful way because there was no solution. Later that day, Bill would come to the offices at Global to take him to lunch and he would have to tell him the truth, and he knew exactly what would happen. Bill would walk away from Nelson, never to be seen again, and he’d cancel the contract he just agreed to sign, and Nelson would lose his job. He could not imagine any other scenario.

And so he cried.

And then the phone rang.

He glanced at the clock on the microwave in the kitchen. It was 3:42am. Who on earth would be calling him now?

He hurried to the hall table and grabbed the phone. It was Rowan. He answered the call and through tears, he said, “Hello?”

“Hey, Nelly,” Rowan said, “I know it’s early there and I’m sorry to wake you, but… are you crying?”

Nelson mustered his strength and held back the tears as best he could. “No. Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m ok, but I got a weird text, and I thought you might know if someone at Global might be playing games or something.”

He choked back some fear. “Games?”

“Yeah. I got a text from Bill O’Connell that said ‘I had a great time. Everything about tonight just seemed so perfect. Honestly – I never say things like that. Can’t wait to see you for lunch.’ Does that make any sense to you?”

Nelson couldn’t hold it together any longer. The dam burst and the sobs returned.

“Nelly!?” Rowan was nearly panicked. Nelson hadn’t cried since he was four. “Nelly, what’s going on?”

“Oh, Rowan, I’ve made such a mess of everything. I’m so in love and he’ll never forgive me once he finds out?”

“In love!?” What the hell was going on? “Nelly? In love with who? Who won’t forgive you? He who? Please, Nelly, take a breath!”

It took some time, but eventually he was able to tell her the whole story. After a stunned silence, Rowan said, “So… right now… you look like me? Like… just like me?”

“Yeah.”

Rowan was having a hard time processing all this. “Where are you now, Nelly?”

“Your place.”

Rowan took a few breaths. “Ok. I don’t know quite how to deal with this right now, Nelly, but I’m very concerned about the whole thing.”

“I know.”

“Ok. Ummm… look, try to get a little rest. I’ll call you in a few hours, ok?”

“Ok.”

“And Nelly…”

“Yeah.”

“Remember I love you. We are the two smartest people I know. We’ll figure this out.”
 
 

 
 
“Oh oh,” Jessie muttered as she looked at her phone at 4:30 that morning when she got up to workout. There was a text from Rowan waiting for her that read, ‘Call me ASAP. I can’t believe you’d use my brother this way.’

There was no way around it. She’d have to call her. She took a deep breath and pressed the ‘call’ button next to Rowan’s name.

“Good morning,” a man with an English accent said, “this is Rob, answering for Ms Egan on her phone, may I help you?”

“Yes, good morning, Rob, this is Jessie Meiser, CEO of Global Incorporated. Ms Egan left me a message to call her. Is she available?”

“Yes, she has been expecting your call. Unfortunately, Ms Egan is in a meeting at the moment, but says she needs to speak with you as soon as possible. Can she call you when her meeting ends?”

Seeing a way of avoiding a confrontation, Jessie said, “Well, unfortunately, I have a lot of meetings this morning myself, so I will have to…”

“Yes, but Ms Egan should be available within the next thirty to forty-five minutes and I believe it’s currently only 4:33am where you are, so your schedule should be open for a call from Ms Egan for the next several hours, if I’m not mistaken.”

“Ummm… yes… I should be available,” Jessie sighed.

Rob sounded pretty smug when he spoke again. “Please expect a return call from Ms Egan within the next sixty minutes then. Thank you.”

The call ended.

“Fuck,” Jessie whispered. Then she picked up a pillow and buried her face in it. “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!” she screamed into it.
 
 

 
 
Melissa, Rowan’s neighbor, awoke to an odd text at 5:00. ‘Hey, Mel, when you get up, could you go over to my place and check on things? You may find nothing there, or you may find a mess. I don’t know. Please let me know. Thanks. I owe you.”

This was odd.

She put on her slippers and her robe, grabbed her keys and the spare key for Rowan’s apartment that Rowan had left with her, and walked down the hallway to Rowan’s door. She opened it and went in. No mess. Rowan had left her purse and a coat on a table, but other than that…

Then she heard some movement on the sofa.

Cautiously, she tiptoed over and looked to see what had moved.

First, she saw small, bare feet: it was a person.

Then, she saw thin, naked legs: it was a woman

Then, she saw a black lace dress: the woman had not undressed.

Then, she saw the makeup smeared face: it was Rowan.

It was Rowan? How could it be Rowan? Wasn’t Rowan somewhere in Europe or something? And why would Rowan have sent a text… wait… the smeared makeup, the dress… something was wrong. Had Rowan been experimenting with drugs and had an overdose? Was that why she’d said Melissa might find a mess? So Melissa would check on her, just in case?

Possible. Unlikely, but possible.

She had better check. She touched Rowan’s neck. She was warm and had a pulse. Well, of course she had a pulse, she had just heard her move, hadn’t she?

She gave her shoulder a little shake. “Rowan?” Just a little groan. “Rowan? Ro? Are you ok?”

Suddenly Rowan’s eyes opened with a start and she sat up quickly, looking confused. “Melissa? What… what are you doing here?”

Melissa looked just as confused. “I… I got your text…”

“Text? I didn’t send you a text.”

“Yeah, you did.” Melissa called up the text and handed it to her neighbor. “See? You asked me to come check on things. When I found you here, I thought you were sick, or that you had ODed or something. You scared me, Rowan.”

“Rowan?” Nelson looked at the nurse, confused. “I’m not…” then the events of yesterday came flooding back on him. He slumped forward and put his head in his hands. “Oh, my God…”

“What’s wrong.” Melissa was truly concerned. Happy, self-reliant, glass-half-filled Rowan was suddenly none of those things. “Ro? What’s going on?”
 
 

 
 
Jessie was working up a good sweat on her stationary bike. The simulated track she’d been traveling had taken her through wooded areas, across brooks and up steep hills, and she was virtually climbing one of those hills when her AirPods announced, “Call from Rowan Egan. Accept it?”

Jessie sigh, stopped the simulation and said, “Yeah.”

A second later the call went live. She tried to sound upbeat. “Hey, Ro! How’s life across the pond?”

“What the hell is going on, Jess?” Rowan was obviously trying to keep her voice low, but she pronounced each word with an angry, staccato snap. “I’m gone for three days, and I find out your pimping my brother out to Bill O’Connell to make a sale? And worse yet, you’ve got him all dolled up to look like me while you’re doing it?”

“Ok, Ro, calm down, there are other ways to frame this, ok? I mean, you left us in a lurch here…”

“So, you used my innocent brother as catfish bait? That makes perfect sense. Do you have ANY IDEA what you have done?”

“Yeah, I do, Ro. I landed the account. THAT is my job, Ro, and it used to be YOUR job, Ro, and I was relying on YOU to do it. But you dropped the ball and I had to resort to extreme measures. I hope that’s ok with you.”

“No, Jessie, it is not ok with me, because now Bill O’Connell is sending me flirtatious text messages and my brother, who was as celibate as a priest until yesterday, told me he’s in love with Bill O’Connell and is seeing him again today for lunch. So, yeah, great work, Jessie! Great freaking work!”

“Ok, back the truck up,” Jessie said. “Explain the text first.”

Rowan told her about the text,

“Ok, so Bill seems infatuated with YOU, Rowan. You know he brought flowers to your place the other night, right.”

“Yeah, I did,” Rowan admitted, “but after talking to Nelly, I’m pretty sure whatever superficial interest he may have had in me has been transferred to Nelly’s version of me. And let’s face it, Jess, Nelly and I may look alike, but we are very different people. And then there’s Nelly. Jess… he’s, like, really in love with O’Connell. Like, crazy in love.”

Jess thought for a moment. “You know I asked him if he was falling for O’Connell when I was helping him dress yesterday, but… I guess I just never thought that Nelson was gay.”

“Neither did I,” Rowan chuckled. “Neither did he, apparently. He seems just as surprised as us. But to be honest, if he’d told me he was in love with a woman, I’d probably be just as surprised. Of course, the fact that O’Connell thinks he’s a woman is a pretty big problem.”

Jessie sighed. “Alright. This is my fault. I’ll tell O’Connell. It’ll probably cost me my company, but I’ll tell him.”

“I don’t think that’s the solution, Jess. Obviously, O’Connell needs to be told, but… let’s see if we can come up with a better way.”
 
 

 
 
“So… you’re gay?” Melissa asked.

“I don’t know,” Nelson shrugged. “I just know I’m in love and I happen to be in love with a guy. So, I guess that means I’m gay. I don’t know what else to say, Melissa. I just don’t know.”

She shook her head and said, “I have to say, I do find that pretty disappointing. I’ve kind of been carrying a torch for you for a while, you know.”

“Sorry.”

“I don’t know if that’s even the right response.”

Nelson put his elbows on the table they had moved to and put his face in his hands. “Then I don’t know what to say, Melissa. I’m having a tough time right now.”

She took a deep breath, then nodded as she exhaled. “Yeah, I guess you are. She thought for a moment. “Tell you what… why don’t you take a shower, and I’ll go back to my place and do the same. I’ll come back here in a half-hour or so and help you get ready for work… and your lunch date. Ok?”

Nelson peeked out through his fingers. “Really?”

Melissa stood. “Sure. I mean, it’s not your fault you don’t find me attractive.”

“I find you very attractive, Melissa, I just…”

“No, I know,” she said with a dismissive wave of her hand she felt exhausted, too. It was too early for so much emotion. What could she do though? Nelson needed her help. How could she say no? “Just take your shower and I’ll be back.”

“Thanks, Melissa.”
 
 

 
 
“So, how did your date go?”

“Really well, mom,” Bill said. “I know I’ve only just met this girl, but honest to God, mom, she is really special.”

“This isn’t like you, William. I’ve never known you to get carried away by any girl. What’s so special about this one?”

“I don’t know, mom, but man alive, I am really taken with her. She’s smart – heck she has a PhD in Math – she’s funny, she’s beautiful… I just find everything about her amazing. Do you know what I mean?”

“I do, William, but… please don’t just jump into something without getting to know her.”

“Don’t worry mom. No matter who I marry, the lawyers will make her sign a prenup.”

“That’s not what I mean, William. It’s just that marriage or even living with someone is a big commitment. You sound all worked up and ready to dive headfirst into something that might be wonderful but might not be. Please, William, just slow down and get to know this girl well before you leap into anything.”

“Ok, mom.”

“You promise.”

Bill laughed. “Yeah, mom. I promise.”

“Ok.”

“I’ll call you later. Love ya.”

“I love you too, William.”
 
To Be Continued...