Amy

“Ants?” Clara asked, arching an eyebrow at me. “I suppose I can see where you get the stickiness from - I’ve certainly seen them climb what I’d swear were sheer surfaces - but strength?”

“They can actually lift a huge amount, comparable to their body weight!” I explained, excitedly. “Not only that, but did you know that ants can produce a natural sort of anti-freeze that keeps their blood from cooling? Which… probably doesn’t matter much, I suppose - I don’t think the coolant I can release actually has much of an effect on the tentacles, to begin with? But it’s still sort of thematic, don’t you think? And - even better - there’s something called a ‘honeypot ant’ which can store large amounts of honey in its body to act as a sort of living pantry! If I work that into the mental image, I might be able to use it to store more mana in my tentacles!”

“Haven’t you said before that using your subspells creates an additional drain?” Clara pointed out.

“Well… Yes. The only one that really pays for itself is the sponge one, which helps me keep the tentacles up longer - so I suppose I might lose more energy than I could store, if I tried to keep the ant subspell on all the time… but still! I’m sure there’s a use for it. Like… like storing excess mana from mana potions! Or maybe feeding someone mana? I don’t know…”

“And where did you even learn so much about ants, anyway?” Clara asked. “I’ve never heard any of this before.”

“I did attend schooling in my old world, you know?” I said, feeling a little defensive. “Though, if you must know, I had ant-enthusiast among my fans - they posted a ton of comments when I wrote about that time Pauline came face to face with monstrous ants during one of her vacations, and… Well, I suppose some of what they wrote stuck with me.” 

It had honestly been a bit boring to read through at the time - but… well, I couldn’t just not read comments.

“I… See…” Clara replied. “Well, I suppose all that matters in the end is whether the mental image truly makes sense for you… though I’d recommend talking the subspell over with your professor - you’re trying to stuff an awful lot of features into a singular subspell, and I’ve honestly got no idea how it all works.”

“I’m not convinced even she knows how anything I do will work out until after I’ve done it,” I admitted, shaking my head. “But I’ll try to talk to her, anyway.”

Clara opened her mouth to respond, only to close it and turn towards the front door. “They’re here.”

I all but ran towards the door, eager to throw it open and greet my party members - and yet Clara still beat me to it, stepping out of thin air to grasp the door’s knob and pull it open before I could.

“A maid must always be there to open a door for her lady,” Clara reminded me. “At least within her own home.”

I opened my mouth to retort - only to fall silent myself as I saw just who had arrived. I had expected it to be Firanna and a healer, rather than May - since Clara had said ‘they’ and all - and I wasn’t mistaken in that regard. But the healer she’d brought…

“Pauline!?”

“Is that a problem?” Firanna asked, before Pauline could even open her mouth to reply.

“That’s… I mean-”

“She is the best healer we could ask for, is she not?” Firanna pressed.

“I mean, of course she is, but… but… you promised me that you-”

“Wouldn’t drag her into anything against her will?” Firanna finished for me. “Does she look unwilling to be here?”

“That’s…” I hesitated, a moment, taking in Pauline’s appearance. She was wearing simple britches, rather than one of the skirts I was accustomed to seeing her in. She wore a simple brown shirt, the sort of thing that wouldn’t show stains. Overall, she looked more prepared for adventure than even I did. “But… Surely, you don’t want to be here Pauline? I mean, I don’t know what she offered you, but it can’t possibly be worth having to deal with me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Pauline asked, sounding almost affronted for some reason.

“Well… I know it can’t be comfortable dealing with someone in the body of your tormentor,” I confessed, careful to keep my voice and tone neutral. If I allowed any of the hurt and sadness I felt at the idea to leak through, then I’d surely make her feel guilty. It was bad enough that circumstances kept pushing us together, without me making things worse by forcing her to feel bad for someone she had every reason to avoid.

“I mean, yes, it can be a bit uncomfortable sometimes,” she confessed - something that might have caused me to flinch if I hadn’t inherited Amelia’s self-control - “but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy spending time with you. I… kind of like it, actually…”

“You do?” I asked, blinking. “But… but surely it will cause trouble between you and Princess Jethroo? You know how she feels about me.

“I do,” she confirmed. “But I’m not going to let her feelings on the matter control me. I’m not even dating her in the first place!”

“You… aren’t?” I asked, blinking. “Does this… have something to do with why you told her you like girls? I assume it was some sort of joke, but-”

“It’s not a joke,” Pauline interrupted. “It’s how I really feel - and it’s only thanks to you that I finally gathered up the courage to express it.”

“Me?” I asked, pointing at myself. “I… Huh?”

“Well, in a way, at least,” Pauline said, blushing a little. “Honestly, I’ve always known I prefer girls - or at least that I didn’t like guys? Even my first crush was the girl next door… It broke my heart when she married a man, to be honest - but that’s just how things are back home. You grow up, and you get married, and it has to be to a man, because otherwise what use are you? Dating another girl won’t result in any dowry, and even my parents were willing to accept that they still expect me to carry on the family line… All my life, I thought it was better to just keep quiet and meet their expectations, but then you - you got engaged to Firanna, and if a literal princess can marry a girl, then… Well, it made me think… I’m here, at this school, learning to be the best healer I can be. The sort of healer most nobles would feel lucky to have on their retainers - and if I can gain that sort of status, then… then who cares who I fall in love with? Not the nobles themselves, clearly.”

“But… but you and Jethroo…” I said, confused. “Your romance was the crux of the story I told! And - and she’s a girl now, anyway, isn’t she? Or at least she looks like one!”

“I don’t care,” Pauline said, shaking her head - though the blush on her cheeks kind of confirmed that she did, even without my lie detector going off. “I don’t love her. Lately I’m not even sure I like her…”

“Ah-hem,” Firanna intruded. “Could you perhaps not discuss your romantic troubles with my sibling right in front of me? You just know she’s going to hound me for every detail of our time together, after all this, and I’d rather not be the one to break her heart.”

“I’m not sure you could break it if you tried,” Pauline said, with a sigh. “She seems determined to keep chasing after me…”

“Enough so that she chose to look like a girl,” I confirmed, letting out a sigh of my own. “I didn’t even know you could do that with potions. I swear, this world drifts further and further from the world I thought I was writing about with every new bit of info I learn.”

“Is that such a bad thing?” Pauline asked, clasping her hands together. “I think the world would be pretty boring if you knew everything about it already, don’t you?”

“I suppose… I just… you really don’t like Jethroo?”

“I don’t,” Pauline confirmed. “If anything, I… I think I might like-”

“Enough!” Firanna interrupted again, clapping her hands together. “You two can discuss this on your own time, hmm? Right now I need Amy and you focused on the trip ahead.”

“R-right,” Pauline said, blushing a little. “Well, I’m ready if you are?”

“I believe we’re still waiting on someone,” Clara said, speaking up for the first time in a while - and causing me to jump a little in surprise, as she did so. In all honesty, I’d almost forgotten she was there.

“Is someone else joining us?” Pauline asked.

I nodded. “Her name’s May - she’s an alchemist. The uh… same alchemist who helped Jethroo make herself look like a girl…”

“Why do you keep phrasing it like that?” Firanna asked. “She is a girl, is she not? Unless you know something I don’t.”

“Well… anatomically, I guess she’s sort of one? But… it’s not like she actually is one, right? She’s like me - a guy, inside a girl’s body. Only without the whole ‘preconfigured cis settings’ thing to make her comfortable.”

“She certainly seemed comfortable to me,” Firanna remarked.

Pauline nodded. “I think she sort of liked it?”

“Really?” I asked. “But… she never expressed any discomfort being a guy, did she?”

“Not that I’m aware of,” Firanna confirmed. “But I hardly see why that matters - if she looks like a girl, acts like a girl, and wants to be a girl then why wouldn’t she be one?”

“Well, that’s… I mean, you can’t just change like that!” Could you? “I mean, it’s one thing if you wanted to be a girl all along - back home we had a concept called ‘transgender’ for people who felt like they were born in the wrong bodies - but… but they were always in the wrong bodies, they didn’t just suddenly decide one day!”

“That's your world,” Firanna retorted. “Perhaps things work differently here.”

“But… I mean, I look like a girl, and act like a girl, and I certainly don’t mind being a girl, but… I’m still a guy, aren’t I?”

“It sounds to me like you aren’t entirely sure of that yourself,” Firanna remarked, with a chuckle. “But enough of this - I see May coming now.”

“But… but I’m not… I mean, it’s not like I want to be a girl or anything - I just… I just am one right now. Or rather I look like one? And I’m in the body of one, and…”

“Do you want to be a guy?” Pauline asked.

“Nobody wants to be a guy! It’s just the body I was born in!”

“Do you want to go back to being one, then?” Pauline pressed. “If May could make a potion for Princess Jethroo, I’m sure she can make one for you too.”

“That’s… I mean… I’m in Amelia’s body, and Amelia was a girl, so… I wouldn’t be comfortable as a guy, anymore…”

“Then… maybe you should try just being a girl for a while?” Pauline suggested.

“You can’t just… I mean, I’m-”

“Let us examine the facts, my Lady,” Clara interjected. “You are in the body of a girl. A ‘cis’ girl, according to that demon and you - whatever that means. You also have no desire to return to being a man. And - unless I’m very much mistaken - you enjoy being your current self. Am I wrong?”

“That’s… I mean… it’s only because of the body I’m in…”

“So what?” Clara asked. “If you ever return to your old body, you can be a guy again. But until then, I would say you’re very much a girl.”

“That’s… I mean, you can’t just… I can’t just… I’m not trans, so… and I mean, cis just means you aren’t trans so… I’m just a cis…”

“Girl?” Pauline finished for me.

That… couldn’t be right… Could it?

~~~

Author'sNotes

This is another case of "I didn't think this scene would take the whole chapter" - I thought there'd be a bit of a conversation about ants, and then they'd be out the door to the guild! But then more ideas came to me, and more ideas, and by the end it just became a chapter in and of itself...

We'll be getting to the guild next time, though, so I'll be seeing you Tuesday (with luck) for Chapter 35 - One Rack Please

(Of course, you could always read five chapters ahead for as little as $1 if you were willing to join my Patreon... paid and free members alike get access to the discord, as well! That's where I post Lizard Pics.)

PS: I've fallen behind on posting here again... Will try to catch you up over the next few days