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Hi, Jenny
It began with a Pinterest board.
Late one night, after looking for a recipe she’d sworn she’d saved somewhere, she stumbled across one of her husband’s tabs still open on the computer. She almost clicked away.
Then she noticed the images. Women laughing in sunlight. Soft sweaters. Baby blue pajamas. Wedding dresses. Braided hairstyles. Makeup tutorials. Native-inspired braids with ribbons and feathers.
Pins that simply read:
Be yourself.
One day.
I wish.
She sat in the glow of the monitor long after the house had gone quiet. At first she felt confusion. Then curiosity. Then something else entirely.
She thought of the person sleeping beside her. The person she’d shared bills and holidays and inside jokes with. The person who always stole the blankets. The person who cried at movies and pretended they didn’t. The person who bought too many potato chips. The person she’d built a life with. Her eyes filled.
How much pain must she be in? The thought came so naturally it startled her. She. Not because anyone had asked her to. Not because she understood everything. But because suddenly she could see the shape of a loneliness she’d never noticed before. And by morning she had made a decision.
“No school for you today, gorgeous!”
Chris jolted awake to find his wife standing in the bedroom doorway with a breakfast tray.
“What?”
“No work today.”
“I’m not in school.”
“I know, silly. It’s an expression.”
She marched into the room carrying eggs exactly the way he liked them, toast, fresh fruit, orange juice…
…and a bowl of Ruffles.
“Those are potato chips.”
“They’re breakfast chips.”
“That’s not a thing.”
“It is now.”
He laughed.
“What is all this?”
“It’s your special day.”
“Why?”
She smiled.
“Because you’re my favorite person.”
The television flickered to life. Singing in the Rain.
“My favorite movie?”
“I remember everything,” she said proudly.
She climbed behind him on the bed, wrapping her arms around him, brushing his long hair.
“You have ridiculously pretty hair.”
“I have bedhead.”
“You have majestic bedhead.”
She kissed the top of his head.
“Can I braid your hair, sweetie? Maybe Native style. I could even put little feathers in it.”
“You cannot decorate me with feathers.”
“You’d be adorable.”
“You are ridiculous.”
“You love me.”
“…I do love you.”
She grinned.
“Then hold still.”
She hummed Beatles songs while choosing soft clothes for him. A baby blue cardigan. Cream-colored top. Comfortable leggings. Fuzzy socks.
“They look like a hug,” she declared.
“They’re nice.”
“Very nice.”
She straightened his collar.
“Life’s too short not to wear soft clothes.”
He didn’t know what to say to that. So he smiled. Then she gasped.
“Hi, gorgeous! Let’s go for a drive!”
The convertible’s top came down. Louis Prima filled the air. They drove nowhere. Absolutely nowhere.
They sang the wrong lyrics. Argued over clouds. Waved at cows. Stopped for gas. Bought chili dogs. Huge lemonades. Peanut M&M’s.
“These gas station chili dogs are amazing.”
“I know.”
“You knew?”
“I know everything.”
“You absolutely do not.”
“Except song lyrics.”
The sunshine wrapped around them. His happiness made her happy. Her happiness made him happier. Which made her happier. Until neither of them remembered who had started it.
“It’s a psycho loop,” she announced.
“That’s not what that means.”
“I’ve already named it.”
They laughed until their stomachs hurt. Then she spotted a park.
“SWINGS!”
“We’re adults.”
“So?”
She dragged him toward the playground. He pushed her first. Her delighted laughter echoed through the trees. Then she pushed him.
At first he felt silly. Then the wind touched his face. He swung higher. Higher. Laughed.
He didn’t understand why today was happening. He didn’t understand why she was so happy. He only knew he loved her. And that somehow she had turned the ordinary world magical.
Across from him, she watched.
Soft clothes.
Braided hair.
Easy laughter.
Joy.
And suddenly she saw her.
Not a fantasy.
Not an idea.
Her.
A glimpse through a crack. Her hand flew to her mouth. She turned away. Tears gathered. Not from grief. From love.
She composed herself before he noticed.
“You okay?”
She smiled.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been better.”
Monkey bars went less well.
“I’m making a tactical withdrawal!”
“You fell.”
“I fell strategically.”
They laughed so hard they collapsed into the grass. Eventually they made it back to the car. Then—
“OHHH MY GOSH!”
“What?”
“IS THAT A BRIDAL SHOP?”
“Honey…”
The tires protested.
“We’re committed now!”
Inside, she tried on three dresses. Each reveal required applause.
“This one is magnificent.”
“You’ve said that about all three.”
“They’re all magnificent.”
Eventually she changed back into her own clothes. Then looked at him.
“Oh, sweetheart.”
“No.”
“Your turn.”
“Honey.”
“You don’t have to.”
He waited for disappointment. It never came.
“If some tiny part of you is curious…” she said.
The consultant added gently, “Only if you’d enjoy it.”
Silence.
“…One.”
Her eyes widened.
“One?”
“One.”
Twenty minutes later, he stepped out.
The room went silent.
The dress was simple.
Ivory.
Elegant.
Soft.
Beautiful.
He looked at himself. Stopped breathing. The world narrowed to the reflection in the mirror. He shook. Fear flashed through him. She crossed the room instantly.
“You look beautiful.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“You hear me?”
She held his face.
“You look beautiful.”
Then she turned.
“We’ll take it.”
“What?”
He stared at her.
“Why?”
Her face crumpled.
“I would marry you.”
“What?”
“I would marry you.”
Tears slipped down her cheeks.
“I would marry you.”
She emphasized the word.
“You.”
“I love your laugh.”
“I love your terrible jokes.”
“I love breakfast chips.”
“I love road trips to nowhere.”
“I love monkey bars.”
“I love swings.”
“I love your kindness.”
“I love your heart.”
“I love you.”
“And if I met this version of you first…”
She smiled through tears.
“I would still choose you.”
Again.
And again.
And again.
The seamstress covered her mouth.
“Oh my goodness.”
Then she raised one finger.
“I can arrange that.”
“What?”
“We have a ceremony space in the back.”
The tiny wedding wasn’t grand.
Silk flowers.
A small arch.
A crying consultant.
An emotional seamstress.
Two people who hadn’t planned any of it.
The wife took his hands.
“You don’t have to earn being loved.”
“You don’t have to explain yourself.”
“You don’t have to justify who you are.”
“You are accepted exactly as you are.”
“And I choose you.”
The seamstress sniffled.
“By the authority vested in me by alarming confidence and twenty years of emergency alterations…”
Laughter broke through tears.
“…I pronounce you husband and wife.”
“You may kiss the bride.”
She stepped forward. Kissed her bridal husband. Slowly. Tenderly. When they separated, he kissed her back in the old familiar way. Love meeting love. Then she winked.
“Well, I don’t know if I can actually carry you over the threshold.”
“You absolutely cannot.”
“I’d do it heroically.”
“You’d need medical attention.”
“Romantically heroic medical attention.”
He laughed. Then, walking back toward the sunlight, she stopped.
“By the way, love…”
“What?”
“What’s your name?”
“You know my name.”
“Chris.”
“You know that.”
She held his face gently.
“No.”
Her voice softened.
“Your real name.”
Silence.
No demand.
No test.
Only love.
His eyes filled. He looked down. Then back up.
“…Jenny.”
It barely escaped as a whisper.
“…Jenny.”
For one terrible, beautiful heartbeat, he waited. She smiled. The brightest smile of the day.
“Hi, Jenny.”
He laughed and cried at the same time.
“You think it’s beautiful?”
She looked scandalized.
“I just married a woman named Jenny who likes breakfast chips, Louis Prima, swings, and gas station chili dogs.”
She kissed the corner of his eye.
“Of course I think it’s beautiful.”
Jenny looked at the woman who had given her breakfast chips.
Braids.
Monkey bars.
Second chances.
A wedding she never expected.
A name spoken aloud without fear.
“You really mean it?” she whispered.
Her wife squeezed her hands.
“My darling…”
She smiled through happy tears.
“I never stopped choosing you.”
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Comments
Happy Tears
are the best. They are like a gentle spring rain washing away the ick left over from a long, hard winter. Another great story.
Jenny Comes to Life
Love and Beauty, in the eyes of the beholder. One has never allowed anyone into this part of her life; she couldn't take the rejection. She thought of the person sleeping beside her. The person she’d shared bills and holidays and inside jokes with. The person who always stole the blankets. The person who cried at movies and pretended they didn’t. The person who bought too many potato chips. The person she’d built a life with. Her eyes filled... Somehow, she saw him/her and loves her as she is!! Wow, what a dream to have come true. Hugs from Jessie C
Jessica Connors
Damn……… you made me cry AGAIN!
I don’t know how you keep doing this, but don’t stop.
And my wife chose me again when I transitioned. About two months after I came out to her, she gave me an engagement ring to wear with my wedding band. She told me that she hadn’t had a chance to ask me the first time, so she was making sure I knew she still loved me and that she would still ask me even now.
So yeah, we choose each other every single day.
D. Eden
“Hier stehe ich; ich kann nicht anders. Gott helfe mir.”
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
Wow!
That’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you! Thank you for sharing your story with me!
God bless
Sincerely
Jenny with a G
Awwwww
How awesome!
Monkey bars and second chances
Lovely short story, Jenny. The phrase that grabbed me right upfront was “she could see the shape of a loneliness she’d never noticed before.” That’s a description that rings true. We’re in a room, or a relationship, or a family. And yet, somehow, a part of us stands apart, seeing it all but unable to join in. A little girl with her nose pressed against the glass, seeing a world of color and sound and laughter, and knowing that she can’t ever step inside. All she’ll ever have is space inside her own head. I’m glad Jenny’s partner broke through for her!
— Emma
Great insight
It does feel like that sometimes
God bless
Sincerely
Jenny with a G
Dammit
You've done it again, made me cry at 2 in the morning. You have a rare gift and I intend to read every word you write from now on.
Eilidh
How very kind for you to say
If it’s a consolation, I cry when I write it lol
God bless
Sincerely
Jenny with a G
Love
Love your writing - and how real your characters are . Being Transgender is a real thing and yet we often feel the rest of the world does not see us or believe us. Loving someone comes not from what they wear or the name they give themselves but from their soul and a beautiful feminine soul can live inside a male body just as a beautiful male soul can live inside a female shell.
I am reminded of the 60s song "What the world needs now, is love, sweet love. No, not just for some, but for everyone" I was around in the 60s when that seemed a possibility - oh for those care free days again !
Your stories bring us love and happiness so keep spreading the word and bringing us hope for a better future!!
Hugs&Kudos!
Suzi