Hi, I’m Sam Perez. I grew up in a very musical family; mom sang and played piano, we kids all took piano lessons, sang in church and school choirs, and played in band or orchestra at school. I played string bass in the school orchestra, but was so short that I couldn’t use a full-size bass. In high school, I discovered the electric bass and started playing that in jazz band. It was much easier to handle than the string bass, and I had a lot of fun with it.

While we were still in grade school my mom, being the proud parent that she is, got the wild idea to enter us in these junior talent shows. My brother wasn’t too interested but my sister Maria and I did a lot of them. She didn’t like performing by herself, so we usually sang together, sometimes with mom or one of us playing piano. I always wore a coat and tie when we performed, and Maria wore some really pretty dresses. Mom would fuss over her getting her all ready, and she really looked good. Dad helped me tie my tie. I remember wondering what it would feel like to wear a nice dress like Maria, thinking it would be more fun than a white shirt, coat and tie. Of course, I didn’t dare say that out loud, but those dresses looked soooo nice…

I was in third grade when I got my first chance to wear a dress, and I remember it like it was yesterday. Our church was doing a show that had important singing parts for three girls and the choir director asked if I would consider doing one of the parts. I guess he liked my singing better than most of the girls’. Mom looked at me and said “Well?” I did my best not to jump up & down yelling “yesyesyesyes”, but didn’t want to appear too reluctant so I just shrugged and said “I guess”. We stopped at a wig store the next day. Maria and I now looked like sisters; almost like twins, but she was a few inches taller than me. She’s still just a little bit taller than me. Mom wasted no time teaching me how to move in a dress; how to walk more gracefully, how to always keep my knees together and scoop the skirt under me when I sit. I tried to hide how much I was enjoying this by pretending to be very serious and focus on what I was doing, and would sometimes mess up on purpose just so she would have me practice more. The show went off very well, and folks commented on how nice the Perez “sisters” looked and sounded.

It wasn’t long after that that mom found a junior talent show for girls, and asked us if we were interested. Maria said she would if I would, and I tried not to sound too enthusiastic when I said I would do it. Another pretty dress, this time with white tights and Mary Janes, and more “girl practice.” I quickly discovered that I reeeeeally liked being a girl but was afraid to say anything about it. Maria figured it out right away and after getting me to open up about it, the two of us had some great fun together as sisters when our parents weren’t around. One time I told her how much I liked those cute little pleated plaid skirts she wore to school. She pulled one of last year’s school uniforms out of her closet and handed it to me. I think I liked wearing that more than some of the fancy dresses we wore for our shows. More shows followed, I stopped getting haircuts, and by fifth grade I didn’t need the wig any more. Dad would pull me aside now & then, ask if I was OK with all the girly stuff, and tell me I didn’t have to do it if I didn’t want to. I was afraid to tell him how much I enjoyed dressing up, so just said that I really liked the singing and didn’t really mind wearing a silly costume. By high school we were going all out with long dresses, heels, and makeup. Mom even got me some “enhancers” to give me a bit of a bosom. We kept performing together as sisters until Maria went off to college to study computer science. We didn’t do any more shows, but I still had some of the girly stuff in my closet and would dress up whenever I was home all alone.

When I went off to school, I decided to major in music because I wanted to see if I could make a living as a performer. I wanted to play string bass in a symphony orchestra, but I also enjoyed playing electric bass and singing. I applied as a bass performance major with a minor in vocal performance and pedagogy. When I auditioned, the bass teacher said I played very well, but with my small size (about 5’5”) and especially with such small hands, I would have a tough time really mastering the bass. The school didn’t offer a major in electric bass, so he suggested I audition as a voice major and I could minor in bass, taking lessons from one of his grad students. OK, I’ll try that.

When I auditioned for the voice department, the first thing they asked was “what voice type?” I said “I can do tenor and alto.” “Really? Show us.” So, I did. Doing all those duets with Maria, and with a lot of coaching from our choir director, I learned how to use head voice and make my voice sound more like a woman’s. It wasn’t much of a change from my male voice; puberty didn’t leave much of a mark on me. So, I’m a voice major. The bass players were really pissed when “some dumb freshman singer” was chosen to play bass in the first jazz band. Too bad. He even sang a few tunes with the band. Or was it she? Some of the songs I did were old Peggy Lee tunes. For my senior voice recital, I did a mix of tenor and alto pieces. Maria said I should put all the alto songs together on the second half and come out in a long dress & heels, all made up with my hair done nice & pretty. I chickened out and just wore a suit.

All through college, I was playing jobs around town. Mostly small shows and pick up groups on electric bass, but some classical stuff, and quite a few singing jobs. By graduation time I was doing well enough that I could afford my own place. Maria was looking for a new apartment so we decided to go together and get a nicer place. Mom & Dad helped us move in and when the moving was done, we all sat around enjoying a gourmet meal of take-out pizza. After our folks left, Maria looked at me, smiled, and said,

“So, will I be sharing this place with my little sister, or just my little brother?”
“Oh… I haven’t had much chance to dress up at school, just those few times at home when mom & dad were away. Your sister would love to come and visit, if that’s OK with you? I have some girly stuff in my room”
“What are we waiting for?”

She grabbed my hand and ran to my bedroom so fast I thought she was going to pull my arm out of its socket. Fifteen minutes later, the Perez sisters were sitting on the couch chatting away, sharing a bottle of wine. It felt so good to be in girl mode again.