If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos!
Click the Thumbs Up! button below to leave the author a kudos:
And please, remember to comment, too! Thanks.
This story is 0 words long.
If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos!
Click the Thumbs Up! button below to leave the author a kudos:
And please, remember to comment, too! Thanks.
Comments
Wow!
The upcoming conversation with the new Amazon's parents ought to be, um-m, interesting. Think Marcus would be willing to take a video camera along? ;-)
I wouldn't be surprised if Veronica's hair didn't grow back out to full length overnight. It seems to be part of the job requirements for Amazons. Tall, long hair, big b...., ah-h-h, well-endowed. Tell me, does the vow of chastity apply to all the Amazons, or just the bosslady? And does it only apply to doing it with a guy? 'Cause I got a feeling that Paris could be a lot of fun, no matter the season. ;-)
BTW, Lilith, I don't think you are going to hear any complaints about the length. You are doing just fine!
m
They know they can survive
Size doesn't matter?
Hold on... I thought... never mind.
The vow was made only by Veronica, so that she could receive Artemis' aide. And Chastity is Chastity. No nookie for Nemesis of any gender. Sorry.
The scene with Paris' parents is what made me split this chapter apart. With it and everything else I want to accomplish before the final part, it was crazy long.
Thanks, Withheld!
Lili
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
Chastity is Chastity
In that case, she better get over her hang-up about self-pleasuring real quick, or she is gonna be one frustrated Amazon!
They know they can survive
Conflict.
My original idea with this character was to have her realistically in conflict. We'll see what happens in the next chapter. I think a little sexual frustration might be good for her. (wink)
Lili
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
Re: Conflict
I think a little sexual frustration might be good for her. (wink)
Yeah, but it'll be hell on everybody around her! ;-)
m
They know they can survive
Great chapter
... what else is there to say ? Wow, 27 in one battle. It sounds like she can't go back to school though. She will put the school in danger. I wouldn't want to be in her shoes though even if I could be 'genuine'. I think what I have is good enough.
BTW I wouldn't mind in the next installment accidentally exceeds 15000 words again ^_^.
Kim
See Kim likes it long!
I chopped up this one. This chapter was about 11,000. From the way I am writing, who knows how long the next one will be. I still have a lot to cover.
Thanks Kimmie!
Lili
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
To long???
I don't understand about the idea of these being to long. They are to short as far as I'm concerned. I run out of story long before I run out of interest. This is another one of your great stories and I love it.
Chris
Bravo
I think you've topped yourself with this tale.Eagerly awaiting more
>>>>>I'm a new soul.I came to this strange world.Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take.<<<<<
>>>>>I'm a new soul.I came to this strange world.Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take.<<<<<
Topping Myself
Darn it, If I keep topping myself then expectations will rise. (nervous)
(wink)
Lili
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
Hair today
Please have her hair grow all long again overnight - I love that look - although I can see how it would be a little impractical - regarding sex drive - maybe she is just in shock - I'm not giving up hope on her being a lesbian like a good little Amazon Queen. :)
With any luck Marcus will get to be her girlfriend.
The nature of Monkey is - Irrepressible!!!
The nature of Monkey is - Irrepressible!!!
Grief
To put it rather simply, Veronica is trying to deal with the cards she was dealt. The whole thing about going back to school and finishing the year was about that. That hasn't changed that she lost both parents due to brutal murders, and took up an responsibility that she dearly wishes she didn't have to. Veronica picked up that sword to save the her and her friends lives as well as the other bystanders. She is still grieving for her parents, but also for herself too. She is one pissed off Amazon. Those 27 goons walked into a volcano primed and ready to go boom!
Wallowing in pity is something I don't see her doing. I loved the lines that said it best. "It may sound stupid, but I miss my penis. It was a great penis, not too long, not too short. The girls really liked it. We'd been through some great times together, and now it's gone, forever." He was guy and happy to stay that way. However, it is going to be a rough road and there are going to be some peaks to crossover before things gets better. I don't think she will regret her choice but it will take time to come to any kind of peace with it. I dearly hope that she has that chance, but life isn't fair.
I have never played the game but part of the story is beginning to remind me of God of War where the main character (If I understand the plot) is royally pissed with Ares and is after some serious payback. I think that describe our girl to a tee.
Oh, I can only imagine Paris's parents reactions to all of this. They appear very conservative, and I'm sure all this magic stuff unsettles them in a big way. Now their little girl whose future they had all planned out is right in the middle of it all. :)
Marcus is certainly becoming Veronica's rock. I love the little tibbit you've been tossing us about the Black thing, cute!
Hugs!
grover
Sussinct Summary
You've summed it up pretty well!
Veronica, has still held on to her 'male' way of doing things. First and foremost being "DEAL WITH IT!"
What's done is done. It doesn't mean she has to be happy sparkle bunny, but then again she is scared as hell about losing what he was. So, knowing herself like she does, she knows that jumping in with both feet is not the answer. Baby steps might be.
Right now she's scared of the constant surprises she's recognizing, the latest being that she isn't sexually attracted to Paris.
God of War: I've heard about the game, but aside from seeing the cover, that's about all I know.
Paris' Parents: Heh. I think I'm gonna have some fun with that one. I see a major blowout in the future... there may be blood involved. (snicker)
Marcus Family: I knew a family exactly like this. It was quite nauseating. Their kids were normal, but the parents were stuck back in the 70's. They had a gigantic picture of MLK above their fireplace. I mean it was gigantic!!! The first time I saw it I laughed. Of course my friend laughed at my mom's picture of Elvis. So did I. Parents are so weird.
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
WIN.
Honestly, I loved this chapter, you're such a talented and polished storyteller! One thing I noticed is how when you do these action scenes, it's all impression and movement. Did I mention that before? I think so. Anyway, as a beserk Amazon, it works really well. Her impassioned challenge was really impressive, but I broke down laughing.
Sorry, but it's hubris, not hubrus. That just kinda ruined the scene.
Lastly, character development! Marcus is really cool, and just this impresive figure, it's hard to tell how much he desires to do and how much he's gaesed to do. Friend, lover, Protector indeed. Veronica (I seem note that appears a few places in narrative|thought too.) has an apropriate balance between magic sex change and gender acceptance. There isn't the vampire imperative you wrote in, so there's this whole acceptance until something throws her off, and then blam!. Also, Paris: what are you going to do with her? She's got the judgement to Nemesis's vengence, and is obviously set up as an ideal|motivator type.
It's the little things
It's the little things like misspellings that can throw off a scene. Thanks for the catch.
Marcus: Every once in a while you can get a look at what Marcus is thinking, but I want it to be hard to get a read on him until the time is right.
Paris: Well, I can't tell you what she's going to do. It would spoil the plot, LOL. But I will hint along the way so it wont be a total surprise.
Thanks!
Lili
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
Nice change...
I kind of like how you've got the comic reading girl who wants to be a super hero and you actually let her. People usually have those characters get talked out of it or just ignored. She might regret it later, but that's her choice, right?
Excellent chapter, looking forward to Paris' meeting with her parents!
Saless
"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America
"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America
Getting what you wished for
With Paris, she got what she wished for, but it's not over yet.
Yeah, I noticed that most people that reallllllly want it, don't get it. That's me trying to be different, but in a hopefully unexpected way.
Thanks Saless
Lili
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
The best things in life AREN'T free
Personally, I always thought it was about working, and suffering a bit for one's happy ending. If it's worthwhile, certainly it's work striving for, right? I mean that's just part of life!
So like in stories, if they're just godmoded and tings just happen, that's not really relevant or uplifting.
You're right, sometimes what we really want, we don't get, OTOH, some people on this very site are good examples of how much you can achieve if you work hard enough for it.
Umm, sorry for the rant.
The reverse
The reverse happens for Paris. She gets what she most dreamed for and now she's going to work and suffer for her wish. Probably more than she thought.
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
>> The best things in life AREN'T free
Life itself is "free," handed to us on a silver platter, burgeoning life all around us, the Earth itself inhabited by all things. What we make of this extraordinary gift is largely up to us, but we most of us start with a huge range of possibilities.
Cheers,
Puddin'
-
Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
Wow Lili!!!!!!!
What a great story...you are seriously challenging Randalynn as my favorite Authoress on here!! Between this, and Randalynn's No Obligation it's a mythology/comic lover's dream! :)
Question about Paris..does she still look like her old self only bigger and older? Will her parent's recognize that it is her in this new an improved body?
Huggles!!
Frank
Paris
Thanks, I like being in such good company!
How does Paris look? You can find a picture of the person who inspired her in my blog. Just follow the link below to the post "Meet Paris!"
Now as to whether or not her parents will recognize her. That's iffy. She change a lot...a LOT. But yes, it would be what she would look like when grown up and in mega shape. So her face will be somewhat the same.
Thanks Frank
Lili
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
And then there were two plus one protector
Hi Lilith,
Thanks for a great second part. Interesting that 'Paris' aged to be able fit the requirements.
with love,
Hope
with love,
HER
Once in a while I bare my soul, more often my soles bear me.
Aging
Her aging will be explained in the next chapter. There is a purpose for it or a reason behind it, anyway.
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
I See the Light (of the Sword)
This is another fine chapter of TG Amazon goodness. Cool!
I'm happy to hear there'll be four chapters instead of three. More goodness.
I like the Scourge battle and the comic book girl. I knew she'd become an Amazon but I still appreciate the way it was done.
The challenge was a good way to keep readers interested. There'll be an end game instead of an endless, mindless slaughter of Scourge. That makes a third scoop of goodness. :)
Thanks very for the chapter. Please keep up the good work.
- Terry
TY!
Thanks Terry! I'll keep busy.
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
Once again BCTS does it...
... the amazing diversity of stories by the authors here has tricked me into thoroughly enjoying a Fantasy story - something I thought I got out of my system a decade ago *cough*two decades*cough*. And it's excellent Fantasy - on par with my favorites from way back when - P.J. Farmer, for instance. While this story isn't quite as much a genre-parody as Heinlein's "Glory Road", it feels quite similar and gives me the same kind of kick to read.
And although I, as everyone else here, would like to see more, more, more, long chapters, more of them, etc., I wouldn't presume to tell you what to write about. Just a simple "please keep writing". About anything. We'll read.
Oh and I have some guesses where this is going but I'm keeping them to myself. It's like half a spoiler. I'll tell you all afterward if I was right :-P
- Moni
It's a trap
Now that we have you in our clutches I have a sword that I want to show you. (heh heh heh)
Okay Farmer and Heinlein... wow. Giants. Thanks.
Future chapters will be just as long or longer. So no worries there. (wink)
I'd love to hear your guesses. Hope never guesses anymore so I have to live vicariously through others.
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
Amazing take on this mythology
Lilith,
You've done an amazing job of bringing the Amazon mythology into a 'verse near us. The thing that sells it for me is how Veronica is reacting to the shock over this radical change. It's very believable and nuanced--and sometimes violent!--taking our minds off the whole "Greek Gods and Goddesses running around America" thing. As always, it's the characters that make a story. This is a good one!
SuZie
SuZie
Goals
Believability, even with the fantasy aspect going on, is the reason I am writing this particular story. I really wanted to push myself and make it as real as possible given the circumstances. I think the only thing that would make it even more believable would be for Veronica to say, "No, I don't want to have anything to do with fighting." and then be somewhat of a coward like most real people would do. Then maybe have her being forced into defending herself.
But that just isn't in this particular character's profile.
Thanks Suzie.
Lili
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
Another great update! I've
Another great update! I've been looking forward to this. The only downside to getting an update on Veronica is that it reminds that I haven't recently heard of Rayne, Casidhe or Shaylee. :) You're one of the authors that has me checking this site frequently for updates.
And I can't imagine that the meeting with Paris' parents will be comfortable.
Storylines
The Faerie Queen Universe, which this is the fourth of several, is planned out on purpose.
Check the index on the right side of this page to see how it should ideally be read. Each story is a lead in or teases previous and follow up stories. FQ3 will be released after Ares Bane:Nemesis.
Oh, I'll just put it in this comment.
FQ1
FQ2
Poseidon Adventure
Ares Bane
FQ3
That's as far as I've planned, but I'll probably add
Untitled Nyx Story
Untitled Aphrodite story
Rayne and Casidhe will be coming along as they are finished, but will not be a part of this universe.
Thanks Miranda!
Lili
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
Universes vs characters
Ah, I'd not noticed the outline on the right, though I knew the generalities. That is, I knew this was the same universe as Poseidon Adventure, and the reference in AB1 to some vague earlier incidents involving fae sort of tipped that this might be, even if you hadn't said so explicitly.
But knowing that the story is in the same universe does nothing to ease the tenterhooks we're on with regard to what happens next with Shaylee, for example. A story universe is nice in that it provides background continuity and reduces the need for exposition in an individual story. I read most fiction, though, for it's character driven aspects, and a good author makes the characters come alive such that I want to have a window on their lives, and see how they develop. That's not to say I don't care what happens to Veronica, because I do want to follow her story. I want to follow the stories of your other major characters, too, though. We merely await the whim of your muse. :)
Characters blossoming due to Universe
The way that I look to this universe is that the first few stories let you know what the world is about and then you can go from there. I don't plan to have much interaction between the different stories' characters. They will each have their own problems to think about without having to rely on others to support them or their story.
There will be little things in each story that hint about others, but nothing that you will miss if you are just interested in a specific story. If you really hate Faeries then you could skip the FQ stories and still receive just as much enjoyment out of each single story by itself.
It also opens the universe up to others if they have an itch to write about their favorite Pantheon or fantasy creature and want it to be a part of the universe without blowing the continuity. Easy-peasy, yeah?
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
Not Much To Add...
...to all the plaudits above, including the observations about how well thought out this is. I know it's very difficult to keep an anything-goes universe in manageable shape, and this one's fairly close to that description.
Had to go back and reread the conditions Artemis set from last chapter: so Veronica, with 27 killings under her belt, could Amazonize one more volunteer right now. Since the age limit has been set aside (or doesn't apply to potential Amazons who aren't family members), and since the weapons in the armory, according to Veronica, will change any male who touches them voluntarily into a comparable female, there seems to be virtually no limit as to who would qualify. (One caveat, I suppose: I'm guessing that, say, a 95-year old volunteer would have her health and vitality restored, but wouldn't get to keep it long, since an Amazon's lifespan is "only" around a century. Could be an interesting angle: a Lincoln Brigade vet taking up one last cause for an honorable but perhaps seriously skewed set of reasons...)
Eric
Ninty-five and Non-stop!
All reasoned out very well. Yes, pretty much anyone is available, and the age thing is as you said. They will appear to be in their early twenties until that last year of their life. So someone 95 years of age would have a few years (about 5) in the best of health. Quite the incentive for the elderly transgendered and even the elderly in general.
Thank you for your kind compliments, Eric.
Lili
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
Keep this up, and...
...and people will start expecting your awesome writing style on a regular basis. Not that it's a bad thing, not for us anyways *grins*
This chapter was everything I wanted and more. I love Artemis, she's so....goddess-y?
The realization that the Scourge are human (or were human anyways) is quite a shocking one. The implications are numerous and not-negligible.
I can't wait for more. I loved the battle scene, and knowing what was going on in her head.
-Christelle
"Fun-loving geek-chick looking for someone who doesn't give a damn about her past"
-Christelle
"Fun-loving geek-chick who's addicted to sunlight!"
Expectations
It's too late. It's already expected... (sigh)
I enjoy writing Artemis. I have no idea why.
The Scourge... hmm. What to say that wont give too much away... I think you said it best about the implications not being negligible. Good word. More on that later.
Battle scene: As someone mentioned earlier Veronica was in Berserker mode. She was all about the rage and blood so she wouldn't really perceive the fight a way a normal person would. I felt that was the weakest portion of the chapter because it was so short, taking into account how many died. But that is the way she saw it from her point of view. One minute she's normal and the next it was over and she was standing amidst a pile of severed body parts. I was hoping that readers would see that, and luckily they did.
Thanks Christelle!
Lili
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
That was because
You did a most excellent job of building up Veronica's anger up to the point where she would explode. We could see her getting more and more put out and upset. When it did happen, no one was surprised. Like a real explosion, it was extremely intense but short lived. A very good job of pacing and handling emotions within the story.
Hugs!
grover
Getting depressed.
I'm passing on all story explanations Grover... consistently getting everything right.
Yep,that was why I had Veronica getting ticked off little by little, for the inevitable explosion.
Lili
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
Moorish!
Hi Lili
Took me a long time to comment on your latest story{sorry about that.. Laptop problems!}So much of what i might have said as been aired already, So i'll satisfy myself with saying, Well done!, This story is just so moorish and i just cannot wait to read the next part!!!
I found the last line "How many other things had changed?" Nice and cryptic just what does Veronica not know about herself?... With your imagination Lili... I just cannot imagine!!!
Hugs Kirri
Moorish?
I have absolutely no idea what that means other than "of the Moors" Maybe I'm just not as worldly as I think. (wink)
What does Veronica not know about herself... Hmm, Well there's that whole cat furry thing thing that I haven't brought up yet. Or Perhaps that she's president of NOW. I dunno. (nudge wink)
Thanks Kirri!
Lili
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
moorish
Well, since it isn't capitalised, it obviously refers to the feeling of being up on the moors, the chill wind cutting almost to the bone as the unearthly howls of The Great Hound raise the hair on the back of one's neck.
On the other hand, "Moorish," like the Moors, is sometimes used to imply Oriental decadence and ostentation, with the sultry heat of the perfumed gardens of Northern Africa and the Levant.
On the other hand, in the Celtic legends of Spain and Portugal, a Moura Encantada is either a sort of vampire with long blonde hair or a beautiful sorceress, often a snake shapeshifter, who guards an enchanted castle filled with treasures. Sometimes these castles are underground, near or within dolmens, hills, and other traditional entrances to Faerie.
Maybe it means all three...
Cheers,
Puddin'
-
Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
Upon further reflection
It might mean... More-ish. Like I want more!
Although, I kind of like the idea of Oriental decadence and sultry heat.
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
Silly me!!!
...Thats exactly what i meant, More-ish as in having chocolate, And saying that is so More-ish i want some more.
Guess i'll have to stop using words nobody understands...or at least spell them correctly!
Kirri
Ares Bane
Great story so far Lilith! I don't care how long a story is as long as it's interesting and well written. Ares Bane is both of those! Can't wait till your next installment!
TY!
(preen)(curtsy)
Thank you!
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
How's progress?
I've really enjoyed reading these five Faerie Queen Universe adventures...
...but they all appear to have stopped about 6 months ago :(
Did "Real Life" intervene, another story sidetrack you, or (shudder the thought) did you lose interest?
--Ben
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
Ares Bane
I just went back and read these two great Chapters. TJ's transition and how he deals with his emotions is very telling. I wonder how Paris will convince her parents and the authorities that she used to be the comic book girl. She would certainly make an interesting insurance salesman.
How will Veronica cope with her new emotions? Will she continue to view herself as a male or will she accept who she is. Given her attitude how did she manage to make it through her meeting with Artemis, since her mother's not indicated that she had to leave her maleness at the door.
Oh so may questions and we need the next installment to answer at least some of them - like who will be the next new Amazon. Also, what is it that Artemis and Marcus agreed to that made Artemis ask - "Regretting that vow yet, Protector?"
Thanks for a great story Lilith. I look forward to the next installment.
As always,
Dru
As always,
Dru
Ares Bane: Nemesis (Part 2)
Wow! I am guessing that very soon that there will be a fight between Veronica and Ares.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
This phrase reminds me
This phrase: "Thus endeth today's lesson.", reminds me of Folder at Whately Academy.
Chris in CA
Chris
Enjoyed it very much!
Thank you very much for an enjoyable chapter. Can't wait for the next installment!
Wil
Aine