Escaping the Cradle

by Karen Page

Part 25

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Part 25
DATE:FC+118

"The stars are aligning," said Ashleigh, as her computer updated. "We've now got Hytuna support on both our Mac and Windows machines."

"But the Unicode decision was only last week," said Becky, amazed.

"I presume companies felt pressure from governments to get it done. They're fed up with garbled briefing papers."

"Do people still print?" asked Jenny.

"We still have a printer here," said Ashleigh, pointing to the rarely used box in the corner. "The paperless office is still a dream, like fully driverless cars. We get closer each decade, and companies say it is just around the corner."

"You said the stars were aligning," pointed out Becky. "What else has happened?"

"We've got the go ahead to deploy a satellite."

"Surely not Earth-1? I know NASA is so excited since Jessica did that presentation."

"Oh, and your trip last week just sent them over the edge. Real time observation data being sent back to JPL from Saturn. The scientists on the ship talking back to those at base. I think that was a major turning point. It was no longer theory. You sold them Jessica's plan."

"Jessica did all the hard work," said Becky. "The ability to receive and tunnel existing space communications meant they could get an instant upgrade on all their current projects."

"They might have been sold, but the CAA are still being cautious. They want a test box first. Something that can be tracked into a solar impact trajectory. That way if something doesn't work, it won't be near something else. They seem to have confidence in our ability to place it at the right coordinates, so I don't know what's going on."

"Probably pressure from some existing space companies. Without satellite launches where would some companies be? SpaceX were the cheapest for a long time because they had reusability. We are even cheaper. Heck, I heard someone refer to them as Old Space when they were complaining that Aurora was not to be trusted as we had no pedigree."

"Are you sure that's what's happening?"

"No, but look how they've all suddenly increased the number of launches. They're trying to get through the backlog as quickly as possible and get the money in before the work dries up."

"Why? Won't they already have contracts in place?"

"Yes, but on a launch that say costs fifty million dollars, the last twenty percent might only be payable on a successful launch. That's ten million dollars. As long as they are six months from launch, it might be cheaper for them to cancel and come to us."

"But we haven't published anything yet," stated Ashleigh, bewildered.

"But we have put a request to the CAA to launch a satellite. I'm sure the FAA in America will have been told," said Becky. She then turned to her daughter. "Jenny, let me start the conversion now we have full Unicode. We then can compare the primer and make sure the communication translation works correctly. I'll be taking you to school in ten minutes."

When Jenny was alone with Ashleigh, she said, "Mum, do you know about today?"

Ashleigh looked puzzled. "Is there something I should know?"

"It was the date when Mummy and Ma got married."

"Their wedding anniversary? Oh. I didn't realise. Thank you for telling me," said Ashleigh, going across to Jenny and giving her a hug. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, but it was a very special day for Ma."

"I'm sure it was. I've seen their wedding pictures. It looked very beautiful."

"Ma showed you the wedding photos?" said Jenny, surprised.

"I insisted. I said there is nothing in her past she needs to hide from me. She just never mentioned the date and I never thought to ask. Mummy is never something to be hidden away."

"I think you'd have liked her," added Jenny.

"I probably would," answered Ashleigh, though internally wondered if that would have been the case. Would they have been rivals and fought over the person they loved? Just the sight of Becky on the first day working there had rekindled old memories and feelings. And she often wondered if she'd ever fallen out of love.

Jenny smiled, glad. She went downstairs, ready to go to school. Ashleigh followed her down and noticed that Becky was 'in the zone'. Glad that Becky wasn't brooding, she decided to take Jenny herself, but things were never that simple. A delivery turned up, but then so did Henry.

"Oh Henry, would you be happy to take Jenny to school?" asked Ashleigh.

"No problem," he said without hesitation. He turned to Jenny. "Come on, let's see if I can remember where it is."

Jenny giggled and happily skipped along to Henry.

It was about ten minutes later when Becky stopped what she'd been doing and looked around. "Where's Jenny?"

"At school," said Henry, walking into the room. "I just dropped her off."

Becky muttered a small expletive to herself, before thanking Henry. It had been a while since she'd been so engrossed in her work that she'd missed taking Jenny to school. "Oh, Ashleigh said that permission for the test satellite has been given. She's got details."

"Fantastic. It will be good to get past that hurdle. How is this going to work in the future?"

"Let's prove it, but I know Ashleigh has been working with Laura about expansion. It looks like we might soon no longer be a research company."

"I came here to escape industry," said Henry bleakly. "I don't want to wear a suit."

"I don't think we'll be like that," said Becky, trying to reassure him. "I doubt Laura does either. She has a good corporate head on her shoulders, and she also knows how to get the most out of people. I doubt she'd try to get you to do something you didn't want."

"Really?"

"Really. Quick question. Why did you take Jenny and not Ashleigh?"

"I think she was going to, but a delivery arrived."

"Oh, thank you."

"Are you okay?" asked Henry. "You seem distracted."

"I've a few things on my mind," admitted Becky. "And then I couldn't get the Unicode update on the conversion machine. I wanted to see how it looked. You know, the back page which has the complete character list. At least the server isn't displaying anything, so didn't need the update. I don't think Linux has the update yet."

"And?"

"A few issues where I'd got some characters converting badly. It's now corrected and I'm rerunning the job."

Ashleigh walked in, carrying a tray of teas and a coffee for Henry. "Thanks for that Henry," she said, giving him a warm smile.

He smiled, "My pleasure. It's been a while since I've taken her. It was fun."

"How long will the conversion take?" Ashleigh asked Becky.

"About four or five hours. Why?"

"Because you have that appointment in Cheltenham."

"I was going to postpone. I want to check the results when they come in."

"As you said, it's going to take at least four hours. Your appointment is in an hour. You will be back when it finishes. I was planning on going with you."

"Make sure I get there?" Becky smirked.

"No, for moral support," replied Ashleigh, not wanting to remind Becky how she'd been sabotaging her own transition. "In fact, Henry, do you need us for your prep work? The date is Friday at their production centre on the outskirts of Manchester."

"Liam and I will be working on configuring the extra tunnelled communications unit. So go. It will stop us getting distracted."

Leaving their tea only partly drunk, they made their way to Becky's car. "Don't you trust me?" she asked.

"Of course. It's just I read that some of these psychiatry visits can be a bit emotional. I didn't want you to be alone."

"Thanks," said Becky with a weak smile. "Are you driving then?"

"Why not!" laughed Ashleigh with a grin.

Neither of them had been to Cheltenham since their engagement, and it brought back happy memories to Ashleigh. She had no idea how Becky felt, but she didn't seem distressed.

When they got there, Ashleigh was surprised. She thought they would be going to the hospital, but it was a purpose-built mental health unit on the Bath Road. An old office building that had stood empty for years had a new role.

Ashleigh didn't know what to expect, but it wasn't that. It wasn't drab and dreary, but a clean airy place. The rear of the building was a large garden, where some were sat out. A place of refuge, or a place to unwind, she didn't know. Perhaps it had multiple roles.

As they entered, the receptionist greeted them with a welcoming smile. Becky scanned her finger so the system would identify her and was directed to the waiting area.

"This appointment didn't take as long to get as I thought it would," said Ashleigh as they sat down in the waiting room. There weren't many others waiting.

"I presume there was more money put into the service when the government decided that mental health was just as important as physical health. It helps prevent crisis points that could lead to self-harm, which can place additional demands on physical health resources."

They sat there in silence for a bit. Becky nervously stroked Ashleigh's hand and watched the traffic go by out of the window to their left.

"I feel so nervous," said Becky. "What if they don't help me. What if they say I should go back to being Richard?"

"After living five years in role? I doubt it," said Ashleigh. "Why the self-doubt?"

"The only professional I really talked to about this was Hilda. I don't know what to say."

"Just be yourself," reassured Ashleigh. "You are you."

"Rebecca Head?" asked a young man, coming into the waiting room.

Becky rose and Ashleigh uttered, "I'll see you soon."

Ashleigh took her tablet out of her bag, to do some work while waiting. She didn't get too far. After reading the same email three times, she decided to put it away. Her mind was on Becky, and the missive just wasn't sinking in.

People came into the waiting room, and people went into appointments, but it was a good forty-five minutes later than Becky appeared. Her face looked as lovely as when she'd gone in. There weren't any tear stains, which was a positive sign.

"Are you okay?" asked Ashleigh, getting up to meet her.

"They want me to wait to see someone else," Becky responded. "I've no idea why though."

"You could ask when you see the next person," suggested Ashleigh, giving a simple answer. As they both sat down, Ashleigh asked, "Did Hilda come up?"

"Some, but just background. It was more about me, and about how I felt."

"So, nothing about today being your wedding anniversary?"

"You know about that?" asked Becky, surprised.

"Yes. It's an important date, isn't it?"

"To me it is."

"And what's important to you is important to me. I've sure I've mentioned this before. Hilda isn't something to hide from me. I really don't know how you feel about it though. Is it a day to still celebrate? Is it a sad day, because you remember the happy wedding day but she's no longer here?"

"I suppose a bit of both," said Becky, her eyes beginning to fill with tears. "It was too soon after her death for it to be separate last year. Now, it has just crept up and I've no idea. I remembered the day like it was yesterday."

"She was important. In some ways she still is. Love her. Cherish her." Ashleigh leaned across and gave Becky a hug. "Never hide her or yourself from me."

When they parted, Becky dried her eyes and blew her nose. It was only then that both Becky and Ashleigh noticed they were being watched by a middle-aged woman.

"Rebecca Head?" she asked.

Becky stood and wiped her eyes. "That's me."

"Excellent. Zane asked if I wouldn't mind having a chat for a second recommendation."

"Second recommendation?" parroted Becky.

"For referral to the GIC. It looks like you've got good support, so let's have a small chat."

Becky followed, like a lost lamb. Ashleigh sat there, watching them go, surprised at how the day had been progressing. What had started off as a single session had potentially turned into a referral. Wow.

This was Becky's journey, yet Ashleigh felt excited and apprehensive. It was a big step for Becky, but it was one that Becky had taken. Ashleigh hadn't pushed Becky. It was always something that was in Becky's hands. Personally, she didn't care what was in Becky's underwear. She cared for Becky. She really loved her.

Glancing out, she saw it had started to rain. The traffic silently went past, with a slight whoosh as the water sprayed from the tyres. It was so different from when she'd first met Becky. It wasn't the external changes, such as all the fossil fuel cars having gone, that was the biggest impact but the way society had changed. Behaviour that had been acceptable when she was young was now deemed abhorrent.

Then there was how she'd changed. The way Tina had changed. The only one that hadn't really changed that much was Caroline, her older sister. When she'd first met Becky, it had been such a shock, and her own feelings had been a surprise. Becky had been the first person who had excited her. She'd never felt like that before then.

It had been a time of wonder, where Becky and she had started to learn more about themselves, but also more about each other. Then it had been wrenched away. The shouting. The tears. The anger. The fear. The whole household had disintegrated from a happy family to a war site where any wrong word might get you sentenced to another month of purgatory.

It wasn't until she saw Becky again last summer that she realised what she'd been missing. She'd not felt this way since she'd last saw Becky. The world seemed to have righted itself. The tick of her heart felt correct. Life was how it should have been. Just a look across the discussion room on that first day of her new job set her reeling.

It had been Becky, but not the Becky she remembered. It was a grown up Becky. A mature Becky. Someone in control of a project that she hadn't even begun to understand. She'd missed so much. No longer was Becky finding herself, she was there. She'd transitioned and as far as Ashleigh had known, had concluded the transition with her final op.

Yet as they'd gradually got to know each other, Ashleigh had realised that Becky wasn't as secure as she first seemed. Oh, she was secure in her job, and life, but there was still something off. At first Ashleigh had thought it was due to the death of Hilda. It was only recently, on the day they got engaged, that she'd found the real issue.

Ashleigh gave a small smile. She would be able to help Becky become fully Becky. If that was what Becky really wanted.

When Becky came out, Ashleigh knew that she'd been crying. There were more tearstains than when she'd gone in. But there was a look of joy in her eyes.

"I'm just going to the toilet. I'm sure my face looks a mess. See you in a minute."

Ashleigh hadn't had chance to ask anything. Becky had disappeared almost as quickly as she'd appeared.

"Are you okay, ma'am?" asked one of the staff members. She had a big badge over her left breast saying, 'Can I Help?'

"I'm fine. Just waiting for my girlfriend who's gone to the toilet."

Ashleigh was surprised. Over the years, she'd been out with both men and women. She'd always found it hard saying girlfriend if someone asked. Yet with Becky it hadn't been difficult. Perhaps because a mental health centre is more supportive, or had she become so comfortable with Becky that it wasn't an issue.

"If you come again with your girlfriend, there is an ad hoc support group that runs in the green room. Often partners of those requiring help need support themselves."

"Good to know. Thank you," responded Ashleigh, giving a small smile of gratitude. This was so different from the psychiatrist office she'd been in when she'd been at university.

"Just spreading the word," she responded happily. "These new support centres are such a big improvement. Not everybody is aware what they offer."

And she was off going to make sure someone else was informed.

Ashleigh stifled a laugh, feeling cheered up. Becky was soon with her, and they walked outside, into the now drizzly day.

"How was it?" asked Ashleigh, as Becky steered them into a coffee shop.

"Good, I think. I'll tell you when we've got our drinks."

Being a weekday, it didn't take them long to be served. Becky used her phone to check the status of her conversion and seemed happy with progress.

"Both psychiatrists were happy to refer me. The second one talked a bit about Hilda's death and the impact but was happy this wasn't the cause of my dysphoria. They act as a gateway so the GIC doesn't get overrun by cases that should be seen locally. Since I've been living as Becky for so long, it was more a formality. Hence why I was asked to see the other shrink today. It gets my case closed on their books and they can move onto patients that need them."

"Sorry, I don't know the process now. When do you get seen next? And where?"

Becky pulled out her phone and pulled up the NHS app. "Ooh, the referral is already there. I get to choose which GIC I go to. There are now over a dozen in England alone. All part of the Mental Health Welfare. The closest is in Oxford or Birmingham."

"Distance doesn't really matter," said Ashleigh, snuggling up to peer at Becky's phone. "Best outcomes are more important."

"Okay. Milton Keynes GIC has the top marks, but their queue is one of the longest. A two month wait. I've waited this long, two months seems no time. Back in the day, it could have been a two year wait."

"Thank goodness they treat it more seriously today."

Becky pressed a few buttons, and her referral had gone to the MK GIC.

"How did you know today was my wedding anniversary?" asked Becky in between sips of her coffee.

"Jenny told me. She cares about you and worries."

"I know," smiled Becky. "She's a good kid."

"Happy anniversary," Ashleigh whispered to Becky, and then leaned across and gave her a kiss.