“Is this one?” Leanne asks as she holds up a blank DVD. “I found it between those two bookcases.”

“Does it have any writing on the label?” I ask.

“Just letters and numbers, ‘TC fourteen dash one,’ whatever THAT means,” my girlfriend replies.

“ ‘TC’ will be for ‘Team Chwilen,’ ” I explain. “Stick that in the envelope too, heh.”

“I’m still amazed how two people can accumulate so much crap in three years,” Leanne muses as she puts the DVD into a large padded envelope, while I neatly pile my small collection of video games into a plastic tub. “Okay, you are two GUYS, but still….” My girlfriend smirks as I roll my eyes, though secretly, I am grateful for the joke — anything to take my mind off the fact that I’m about to leave my home of three years for the last time.

Of course, a lot of things have changed since Lee and I first set foot in this flat back in September 2018. Back then, we were 18-year-old university freshers living independently for the first time ever. I still had to wear an elasticated bandage or a ‘special vest’ each day I left the house. I was still dating Chloe and despite that, perhaps most significantly, my mental health was still mostly intact, thanks to two years away from my ‘parents’ influence.

Since then, it’s felt like everything has changed. Chloe and I have separated for good and I’m now dating a woman I consider to be a much better girlfriend than Chloe ever was. I wake up each morning with a perfectly flat chest that even has some hair growing out of it. I’ve gone through my lowest ever point, but recovered with the help of the best friends I’ve ever had. And perhaps most significantly of all, for the last eighteen months, the entire world has had to deal with the most rampant virus of the last hundred years, leaving literally billions of people stuck at home for weeks, even months at a time.

Well, that was the most significant change for most people, at least, and was also for me, but only up until two weeks ago. Two weeks ago, Lee — the man who’s been my best friend for five years and my flatmate for the last three — started his PhD in robotic engineering… at the university of Aberystwyth. And as I still had a year to go in my studies (thanks to having to repeat the second year), our time as flatmates had to come to an end.

I will admit to shedding a few tears as Lee and his father boxed up his stuff into the van they rented, before driving off into the sunset, leaving me alone for the first time ever. Thankfully, I wasn’t alone for long thanks to the most amazing woman in the world. Leanne stayed with me in my flat that night… and the night after that… and for the entire week after that too. In fact, we got so used to living together that at the end of the week, we decide to make it official, but with the two of us not needing a second bedroom, we went out looking for nearby one-bedroom flats. Less than one day later, with the help of Stuart, Nikki and their vast array of contacts, we found a place we could truly call ‘ours,’ and with the contract on mine and Lee’s place — I suppose now, our ‘old place’ — expiring, I’m getting ready to leave what I’ve come to consider my home for the last time ever.

I am, of course, excited to start my new life together with Leanne, but I can’t escape the fact that it’ll be just the latest in a long string of ‘new lives’ I’ve had over the year. First my new life with grandma in Cardiff as ‘Ian.’ Then my new life with Lee in London. Then my new life in lockdown. And now my new life with Leanne. My one consolation is that after I graduate next summer and start my career — another impending ‘new life’ — things will hopefully settle down a bit.

“I think that’s everything,” Leanne says with a sympathetic smile as I secure the lid on my plastic tub and take one final look at the now empty living room. “Remembering all the good times?”

“Yeah, and there were plenty,” I reply, smiling as I scan over the room, and even as I glance over at the kitchen, the site of probably my lowest ever moment.

“A wise man once said,” Leanne says as she links her fingers with mine, “when we leave a place, part of it goes with us and part of us remains. If you listen carefully, you’ll always be able to hear all the fun you had here.”

“Thanks,” I chuckle. “Guess it’s time, then.”

“Time to make some new memories?” Leanne asks, my wide grin being all the reply she needs.

“This the last of it?” Fellow ‘Celestial’ Mikey (whose van and driving services we’ve borrowed for the day) asks as he and Stuart grab a box each.

“Yep,” I reply. “My bedroom’s already empty — heh.”

“What’s up?” Stuart asks, a look of concern spreading over his face.

“Nothing, just — just thinking of my bedroom at — well, not ‘home,’ but my parents’ — well, I suppose now just Craig’s home,” I reply as I struggle to keep my thoughts ordered. “ ‘Kayleigh-Ann’s old room.” As always seems to be the case, the mention of my deadname causes Leanne’s grip on my hand to tighten.

“Surely you haven’t been in there for years, though?” Mikey asks.

“Nope, and I don’t ever want to again,” I reply. “But last time I was in there, it was just as I’d left it — filled with all of ‘her’ shit, her clothes — everything. For all I know, it still might be.”

“I’m guessing you’re in no mood to check, then?” Stuart asks. “If they are still technically your possessions, some of it might be valuable, you could eBay it a-”

“Nope, not interested at all,” I interrupt my mentor, who nods and concedes the point. “We had a whole lawsuit over shit like that that I’m not willing to repeat, so — yeah. Craig can do whatever he wants with the stuff, and I do NOT want to speculate there, thank you very much.”

“Hint taken, topic changed,” Stuart chuckles. “Looking forward to your last year of university life?”

“Yeah,” I reply, smiling as I gaze into my girlfriend’s eyes. “And not just ‘cause of the uni-based stuff, heh!”

“I would say ‘get a room’ but that’s literally what we’re helping you do now,” Mikey teases as we leave the flat and I lock the door behind me, pushing my keys through the letterbox as I’d agreed with our landlord beforehand.

“You okay?” Stuart asks me gently as I take one final look at the home where, as far as I’m concerned, I truly became a man.

“…I will be,” I reply, smiling behind my mask as I exchange glances with the woman I love. “I’m gonna be great, in fact.” Leanne smiles behind her mask as we load of the last of our boxes in the van, before we get into her car while Stuart and Mikey climb into the van and lead us away. Before we set off, though, I make sure to give my girlfriend a long, loving kiss.

“Okay,” Leanne says with a giggle. “Not that I don’t appreciate it, but — why?”

“To say thank you,” I reply bluntly. “For helping with this, for using up annual leave today and tomorrow, but mostly — mostly just being there for me when I needed you the most.”

“You know you don’t have to thank me for that,” Leanne mumbles as her cheeks start to redden. “You know I’m taking time off work because I’m moving too, right? And more importantly because I want to spend my time with you just as much as you want to spend it with me. You’re starting back at uni on Monday, so I need to get my ‘Ian time’ in while I can, heh!”

“…I think I can help with that,” I chuckle, exchanging another kiss with my partner as we set off through the streets of north London.

A short while later, the four of us park outside our new flat and begin unloading our possessions. The new place is smaller than the flat Lee and I shared — the living room is about two-thirds the size, barely big enough for a sofa, coffee table and television, while the kitchen can best be described as a ‘kitchenette,’ the bathroom isn’t big enough for a bath and only has a shower, a toilet and a sink in it and the bedroom can just about contain a double bed, a wardrobe and a dressing table.

However, despite its size (or lack thereof), there’s one thing the flat has in its favour — it is, unquestionably, ours. Leanne and I have already started to personalise the place with items like photos, various trinkets we've collected in our time together and, most prominently, a large picture on the living room wall depicting a Welsh dragon covered in maple leaves — an image I designed myself but Leanne adored and wasted no time in having made into a full-size print.

“I like it,” Mikey comments as he helps us unload our plethora of boxes. “Okay, it’s small, but it’s cosy, you know? I would ask when you’re having a housewarming party, but this place is so small, if you cough in the bathroom, you’ll probably give the whole street Covid, heh.”

“Well, Boris’s ‘Covid Plan B’ hasn’t come into effect yet,” I retort. “So, we are planning a little bit of a get-together tomorrow night, if either of you are interested?”

“Would normally love to, as you know, but Jamie would murder me, especially with a new baby in our house,” Stuart replies with a chuckle.

“Ditto,” Mikey chuckles. “Okay, in my case the baby isn’t born yet, but I like my face the shape it is, so still not a great idea for me to skip out, sorry.”

“Meh, it’s okay,” Leanne says with a shrug. “I get it, the whole ‘adult responsibilities’ thing. We’ll just enjoy being young, fun and fancy-free for now, heh!” I smirk as my friends playfully jeer my girlfriend, who replies with a smug grin. As little as six months ago, her cheeks would’ve lit up like a lighthouse at our friends' teasing. Then again, six months ago, she wouldn’t have felt as comfortable teasing Stuart and Mikey like she did, either.

“Will try not to take that personally,” Stuart chuckles. “It doesn’t help that after this, we’re going to pick our girls up from school, heh.”

“It’s mad to think that Olivia’s already starting school,” I chuckle. “Reception class or Year 1?”

“Reception,” Stuart replies. “Which translates to Pre-K in North American, assuming Canada and America use the same system, anyway.”

“Which we do, for the most part,” Leanne chuckles. “But yeah, I remember Keith having a similar panic attack when he realised that he’d eventually have to go to parents’ evenings and school plays, heh.”

“I really hope Maria and Olivia get to do a nativity this year,” Mikey muses as I find myself starting to feel uncomfortable. “And all their friends, of course.”

“Yeah,” Stuart says, before frowning as he sees my reaction. “…Ian? Mate? Are you okay?”

“…School plays are kind of a sensitive topic for me,” I sigh, smiling as Leanne gives my hand a supportive squeeze. “Even when I was five, I remember my mum sneering at me for not playing Mary in our nativity play.”

“Fucking hell, really?” Mikey- who to the best of my memory, has never met my mum- asks.

“Part of why I really don’t want to have kids, even adopting — I’m afraid of passing all of my shit down to them,” I chuckle. “Heh, part of why I’m so desperate to have bits of my insides scooped out is so that I’ll never be able to have kids.”

“Which is a pity, as I reckon the two of you would make great, empathetic parents,” Stuart says as both Leanne and I blush.

“We’ve literally only just shacked up, can we maybe slow down a bit?” My girlfriend retorts, sharing a chuckle with my friends.

“Plus I doubt ‘transgender headcase’ is going to go over well with most adoption agencies,” I say, smiling sadly as Leanne grips my hand harder.

“I don’t see why not, it did for Stuart,” Mikey retorts, laughing as his best friend gives him a shove. “But it’s not like you don’t have the rest of your lives to think about it, heh.”

“Yeah,” I chuckle. “And thanks again for all your help today. I know you must’ve had to take time away from work too.”

“Easily done when you set your own hours,” Stuart says as he lays the last of the boxes down beside our sofa. “And with that done, just need to record the moment for posterity.”

“And proof to his wife that he actually did something productive today,” Mikey says as Leanne and I are ushered onto the sofa, our hands still linked together.

After posing for our first photo in our first home together, we bid Stuart and Mikey farewell with fist bumps from me and hugs from Leanne, before sitting back down and letting the enormity of the situation hit us. Here we are, together as a couple in our own (albeit rented) home. A quick glance over at Leanne reveals that she’s clearly as excited and anxious as I am right now.

“…Wow,” I say, earning a nervous giggle from my girlfriend.

“Wow,” Leanne whispers. “This- this is actually happening, then?”

“Looks like it,” I chuckle. “We — we should probably start unpacking, heh. Don’t want to live out of boxes for the next few weeks like me and Lee did when we first moved into the old place, heh.”

“Yeah,” Leanne whispers as she squeezes my hand once again. “You are going to miss him, aren’t you?”

“…I’d be lying if I said ‘no,’ “ I reply. “But I definitely traded up.”

“So did I,” Leanne says, smiling as we start to unpack, only to giggle as she lifts the lid off of one of the boxes.

“What is it?” I ask, only to let out a chuckle of my own as Leanne holds up two miniature bottles of champagne and a greetings card labelled ‘To the Freetley-Jonesmans.’

“…Stuart,” Leanne and I say simultaneously as she opens the card and we read the handwritten note inside.

‘Couldn’t not drop you a special little something to celebrate the start of the good times,’ my mentor’s message reads. ‘Here’s to years, if not decades of love and happy memories. Love from Stuart. P.S. At least you’re not as close to Arsenal’s stadium as you were last time!’

“…Stuart,” Leanne and I repeat, both chuckling as we open our bottles and down the drink in one gulp, before placing the card in pride of place on the shelf, exchanging a quick kiss and getting back to the task of setting up our new home.

Unsurprisingly, the task takes us until late into the evening, and even then, we don’t have everything exactly the way we want it. Rather than exhaust ourselves further, though, we instead get dinner delivered and relax on the sofa — OUR sofa — with the latest episode of Star Trek Lower Decks. After we finish eating and clear away the plates, we get washed in OUR bathroom before heading together toward OUR bed, where we quickly fall asleep in each other’s arms despite our excitement at the weekend ahead.

As usual, my phone wakes me the following morning, and as increasingly seems to be the case, it’s my ringtone rather than my alarm. After reaching for my phone, I allow myself a smirk as I realise that I left it on the dresser next to the bed… but as the bed is pressed up against the wall to save space, I have the slumbering form of my girlfriend between it and myself.

“Mmph,” Leanne grunts as I reach over her, allow my bare chest to gently rub across her face. “Mmm…” I allow myself a grin as Leanne takes several deep breaths through her nose, clearly liking what she’s smelling, before I click ‘answer.’

“Morning mate,” my former flatmate greets me . “Sorry if I got you up early, got a lot of course-related stuff to do today, hence why I won’t be able to make it to the party tonight, sorry. It’s a bit far to travel after a full day, I hope you’ll understand.”

“I thought it might be,” I say with a sigh. “Don’t worry about it, we’ll be back in Cardiff at some point and it’s not like London’s inaccessible from the rest of the country, heh. Especially with Covid rules easing.”

“For now, at least,” Lee sighs. “But yes, the boys will absolutely be back in town soon. Whatever town that ends up being, anyway. Anyway, I’d better go, don’t want to wake Leanne up and get you in trouble.”

“Too late for that first bit,” Leanne mumbles from beneath me in a voice that sounds especially content. “As for that second bit… that’s between me and Ian, hehe!”

“Thought it might be,” Lee teases with a sly chuckle. “Love to you both. See you soon!”

“Bye!” I say, ending the call and getting ready to lay back down in bed, only for my girlfriend to stop me. “…Am I meant to plank like this all morning, then? It IS an uncomfortable position…”

“You owe me for waking me up,” Leanne replies with a devilish giggle.

“I could repay you a lot easier if my head was a little lower…” I tease.

“Hmm…” Leanne says, giggling as she pretends to mull over my choice. “On the one hand, I DO love this smell… but on the other hand, I do want to start the day the best way, hehe!” I smirk as Leanne reaches down and removes the shorts she wore to bed, before pushing me underneath the sheets…

We eventually get out of bed 45 minutes later and, after a much-needed shower, get dressed and resume the task of setting up our new home. Despite the headway we made yesterday evening, this still takes us until the middle of the afternoon, by which point we’re both tired and sweaty, but also excited about the evening ahead.

After a quick microwave dinner, the two of us wash and change into smart party clothes — a loose, short-sleeved light blue shirt and black trousers for me, and a slightly closer-fitting long-sleeved blue shirt and black trousers for Leanne that despite being a normally androgynous look, actually makes her look more feminine and beautiful. After laying out a large array of drinks and snacks in the kitchen and on the coffee table, the two of us sit back down and wait for our guests to arrive, and it isn’t long before there’s a knock at the door.

I already have a smile on my face as I answer our front door for the first time ever, and my smile only widens at the sight and especially the smell that greets me when I open it.

“Happy housewarming!” Jacinta sats with an excited giggle as she hands me a warm cardboard box that’s no doubt filled with baked treats. “Well, ‘flatwarming,’ anyway!”

“Thanks,” I giggle as I take the box and usher my ‘big sister’ into the flat, where she and Leanne greet each other with a fist bump.

“I hope he’s actually been helping with the tidying and not sat on his arse playing on his PlayStation all day!” Jacinta says, earning a giggle from my girlfriend as I roll my eyes.

“Trust me, he wouldn’t dare!” Leanne chuckles as she opens the box of twelve elaborately decorated cupcakes. “Thanks for these, by the way, they smell amazing!”

“I’ve been trying out a few new recipes, seeing what works and what doesn’t,” Jacinta says proudly. “Definitely going to try to apply for Bake Off next year.”

“Can’t wait to watch it!” Leanne giggles. “What can I get you to drink?”

“Ah, I — I can’t actually stay, sorry,” Jacinta says with a sad grimace. “Me and Tom have a date planned — newlywed life, heh! I’m sure you two will understand… someday, hehe!” I bite my lip as Leanne’s cheeks start to flush, and much to my annoyance, so do mine.

“Can we just cohabit for now, please?” I ask, my blushes deepening as Jacinta’s laugh gets louder.

“If you say so, sure,” Jacinta says, giggling as she gives Leanne another elbow bump and me a quick hug as she heads for the door. “Hope you have fun tonight!”

“Thanks, you too!” I reply, earning another giggle from my friend as she leaves me and Leanne with an awkward silence.

“…Anyway, I’ll, um, I’ll get a plate for these,” Leanne mumbles as she takes the cupcakes into the kitchen.

“Yeah, I — I know she’s my self-appointed ‘big sister’ and all, but I really wish she’d figure out how not to tease me all the time, heh,” I chuckle tiredly as I follow my girlfriend into the kitchen and instinctively wrap an arm around her waist, only for her to fidget before allowing the gesture.

“Meh, I think it’s cool,” Leanne says with a shrug. “Like, I get how important it is for you to have a support network of guys and girls who, well, know what you’re going through, which Jacinta obviously does.” Subject successfully changed, I think to myself as I start to relax. “I mean, you can never have too many friends, right? Even if for you, Stuart is, for obvious reasons, the best man for the job.” ‘Best man,’ okay, subject not successfully changed then. Leanne suddenly tensing up is a dead giveaway that she’s thinking the same thing.

“…Anyway,” I say, taking the plate from my girlfriend and setting it with the other snacks. “I — umm, I’ll wait for the others to arrive before ordering the pizzas, make sure everyone’s hungry rather than waste food.”

“Sure,” Leanne whispers, letting out a barely audible ‘oh thank god’ when a knock comes from the door moments later.

“Happy housewarming!” My friends Laura, Ashley, Ellie and Jade all shout as they greet me with a hug each en route to the living room, where they each greet my girlfriend with an elbow bump each.

“Aww, I love this place already!” Ellie enthuses as she grabs beers for herself and her sister. “Sure, it’s small, but it’s cute, you know?”

“Kinda like mine and Suri’s place,” Laura muses between bites of her cupcake. “She wanted to come, by the way, but her and her boyfriend already had plans, so she sends her apologies.”

“Fair enough,” I say with a shrug. Even with six people, the living room is already getting crowded, and Leanne looks uncomfortable — though I can’t tell if that’s because of the crowd, or the fact that she’s dressed conservatively, while the other four girls have come in tight, figure-hugging tops and skirts that range in length from ‘just above the knee’ to ‘might actually just be a very wide belt.’ The fact that Laura’s skirt (unsurprisingly) matches the latter description, and she’s the only one of the four I’ve slept with, probably doesn’t help Leanne’s anxiety much, but the fact that Laura’s in a long-term relationship — longer than mine and Leanne’s, in fact — might. “Are — umm, is your boyfriend not coming tonight?”

“No, I allow him one night a month to himself,” Laura replies with a devilish giggle. “I think he’s going out with some of his guy friends, heh.”

“BOYS,” the four guests all yell simultaneously, before sharing a giggle with each other.

“Same for Oli,” Ellie explains. “Though I don’t keep him on THAT tight a leash, hehe!”

“Tight enough, though!” Jade giggles as she holds up her sister’s hand to show off her new diamond ring.

“He knows who’s boss,” Ellie says with a smug, yet happy grin.

“So this place is going to be considerably more feminine for the rest of the evening!” Ashley says, or rather boasts smugly, even as Leanne continues to fidget — knowing Ashley as I do, I’m sure that wasn’t a slam on Leanne’s tomboyishness. Unfortunately, Leanne doesn’t know Ashley that well….

“Let’s have some music on,” Leanne says in a flustered voice. “Anyone got any preferences?”

“Other than Out of Heaven,” I interject, earning boos from our four guests. “For a change, I mean.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got it sorted,” recent music graduate Ellie says, giggling as she syncs her phone with our Bluetooth speaker, and soon the flat is filled with the sounds of indie musicians I've never heard before, but find myself nodding along to anyway.

The four blonde trans women are our only guests for the next 45 minutes, but that doesn’t prevent our flat from being filled with the sound of music, laughter and fun, which thankfully seems to ease my girlfriend’s stress as she starts to mingle with and get to know my friends a bit better. Ultimately, though, another knock comes from the door, and a wide grin spreads across my face when I see who it is on the other side.

“Ben!” I shout, greeting my old uni friend with a fist bump, before exchanging another fist bump with the young man accompanying my friend and smirking at the fact that his fingers are interlinked with Ben’s.

“Hey Ian!” Ben says with a wide grin. “This is Tony, Tony, this is Ian, the guy I’ve told you about before.”

“Ah, so YOU’RE the reason my diet now includes ‘kosher cucumber,’ ” Tony says, making me chuckle awkwardly as Ben blushes.

“So to speak, anyway,” Ben says with a quiet giggle as he and his boyfriend make their way into the flat, where I introduce them to everyone as Leanne serves them refreshments.

“I didn’t know you had a harem,” Tony says to me as he exchanges gentle hugs with the four girls, making me blush as the frown returns to my girlfriend’s face. “I apologise on behalf of me and Ben for adding any unwanted Y chromosomes to the party, heh.” Needless to say, THAT brings proceedings to a screeching halt. I only hope that Leanne, as the only non-LGBT person here, is able to use this as an opportunity to get over her anxiety, but a quick glance over at her reveals that she’s feeling no less awkward than the rest of us right now. “…What?” Tony asks, genuinely confused by the awkward silence he’s caused.

“You — you’ve kinda been beaten to the punch there,” Laura explains with an awkward giggle of her own. “The Y chromosome thing, I mean.”

“More of those in the flat than you probably realise,” Ellie says, before rolling her eyes and chuckling. “All of those are ‘unwanted’ too, heh.” Unfortunately, this explanation is still too subtle for Tony, who frowns with confusion.

“We — we’re trans,” Ashley explains, her own cheeks glowing brightly almost as though she was confessing to a crime. “The four of us. Well, five, including Ian.” Thanks, Ash, I think to myself as I find myself hoping that Ben had already explained THAT to Tony ahead of time.

“…Ah, okay,” Tony says, smiling much to the relief of everyone assembled. “So this is less ‘housewarming’ and more ‘mini pride,’ hehe!”

“Well, kinda,” Leanne mumbles quietly enough that only I’m able to hear it as Tony and Ben get to know our four blonde guests a bit better and vice versa. Instinctively, I reach for Leanne’s hand to give it a supportive squeeze, only for her to snatch it away from me as she heads into the kitchen area. Even though I know I’m supposed to be a good host, especially in my first ever party as host, I know that being a good boyfriend is more important.

“Babe, wait,” I mumble quietly as I follow my girlfriend into the kitchen, where I find her preparing more snacks and drinks. “Are… are you okay?”

“Of course,” Leanne replies, even though I can tell by the tone of her voice that she’s far from okay. “You should get back out there, don’t want to neglect our guests, do we?” OUR guests, I think to myself, though obviously I keep this retort unsaid rather than risk making the situation worse.

“I — I don’t want to neglect you, either,” I say softly.

“I said I’m fine,” Leanne retorts, her curt tone of voice clearly suggesting otherwise. Rather than argue the point any further, I simply nod and carry the refreshments out to our guests — OUR guests — who eagerly tuck in while Tony regales the four trans women with tales of his time at university and how he met Ben. I keep my eye on the kitchen door throughout, wondering when I should head back to check on Leanne, or even if such a gesture would only end up making things worse. Fortunately, my girlfriend emerges after just a few minutes, sitting down next to me and linking her fingers with mine — though it almost feels like she’s clinging on for dear life….

Our six guests are the only ones who show up throughout the evening, all of them eventually taking cabs home at around 11:15pm after helping us tidy away some of the mess created by the small but still busy party. Despite the fact that we’re both tired, I decide that now is as good a time as any to try to continue my earlier conversation with my girlfriend.

“H- hey,” I whisper as Leanne places the dirty plates and glasses into the dishwasher. “You doing okay?”

“I’m fine,” Leanne replies bluntly, but not angrily, before tiredly shaking her head. “I — I’m just a bit tired, okay? Let’s just tidy up and go to bed and sort all of this tomorrow. Please?”

“Of course,” I whisper softly. “I- I’m pretty knackered as well. It was fun, but — yeah. A bit too ‘high energy’ after two days of shifting furniture around, heh.”

“Exactly that,” Leanne says. “It was fun though, it really was.” I nod, even though my girlfriend is far from convincing. “I never realised that Ben was gay, though.”

“Really?” I reply. “He came out a while ago. He doesn’t advertise it, like I don’t advertise being trans, but — yeah. Didn’t realise he was seeing anyone, though.”

“Even though he obviously told Tony about you?” Leanne says in an almost accusatory tone.

“I — he’s said that I, you know, inspired him to come out to his family,” I reply, fidgeting under my girlfriend’s glare. “Trust me, I have never been an item with Ben or any other guy, HELL no.”

“But you have been with Laura,” Leanne retorts. “I never realised how pretty she was until I met her in the flesh. You’d never tell that anything about her had ever been male.”

“She never went through a male puberty,” I reply with a shrug.

“How are you so certain about that?” Leanne asks, making me feel almost like I’m being interrogated.

“I-” I begin, before taking a deep breath. What I’m about to say is either going to dampen Leanne’s obvious anger or make it much, much worse. I know it’s not going to do wonders for my own mood…. “I, umm, I used to be in the same dance class as Laura. Or rather, ‘Kayleigh-Ann’ was. For about 3 years, give or take. So, well, yeah, I’ve known her since she was about twelve.”

“…Okay,” Leanne mumbles, clearly unsure how to react to my answer. “I, umm, I — I’m going to bed, get some rest, see how I am tomorrow…”

“Good idea,” I whisper, putting the rest of the trash in the kitchen bin before heading through to the bathroom to perform my nighttime ablutions. Once I’m done, I join my girlfriend in our bed, but unsurprisingly she is still awake and scrolling on her phone. After giving her a gentle kiss on her cheek (but getting nothing in response), I roll over and close my eyes, hoping that a new day will bring with it some distance from the night’s events — and some distance for Leanne from her anxiety too.

The following morning, my eyes slowly open as sunlight peeks through our bedroom curtains, having not set an alarm due to it being Saturday. However, this clearly hasn’t prevented Leanne from already being up, as when I roll over, she is nowhere to be found, and the fact that her shoes aren’t either adds an extra layer of concern. After checking my phone for messages and not finding any (though I do find a few photos on Facebook from last night), I slide out of bed and head through to the kitchen, where I discover the expected note.

‘Ian,’ the note reads, making my anxiety levels rise — if she’s still as pissed off as she was last night, her leaving me a note is not a good sign at all…. ‘I’ve gone to the shops to pick up a few essentials, we need more trash bags and cleaning fluid.’ We weren’t THAT rowdy last night, I think to myself as the note continues. ‘Picking us up some coffee and bagels as well so don’t worry about making breakfast. LYL Leanne.’ Despite my dyslexia meaning it takes me a few seconds to translate the acronym, I smile and breathe a sigh of relief at its use. ‘LYL’ is code for ‘love you loads,’ which you probably wouldn’t use to sign off a note to someone you’re angry with. Obviously, she’s calmed down from last night and, when she returns, hopefully we’ll be able to talk things out so that she doesn’t feel the same level of anxiety again.

A smile quickly spreads across my face when a knock comes from our front door — clearly, Leanne has too much in her hands and needs me to unlock the door for her. When I open the door, though, it’s not my girlfriend on the other side. In fact, out of everyone in London, it’s the last person I expected to see.

“…Ollie?” I ask, my jaw dropping at the sight of my pretend ex-boyfriend. What’s more surprising, though, is that his sister is stood alongside him, and even more surprising than that is the very young-looking baby in her arms.

“Hi Ian!” Ollie says as I stand frozen on the spot. “C- can we come in? Please?”

“Umm, okay,” I say, standing aside and letting the two — well, three — of them in, where they immediately sit down on the sofa. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“Sure, coffee please,” Ollie replies. “Milk, two sugars.”

“Nothing with any caffeine, please,” Georgie replies in her usual ‘unrefined London’ accent, though her volume is noticeably a lot lower than normal. Assuming the baby is hers, motherhood has clearly changed her. “I’ll handle the drink for this little one!” I try not to blush as without any further warning, Georgie lowers one of the straps of her skimpy playsuit and begins nursing the tiny infant. Not THAT changed, then. A glance over at Ollie reveals that the situation makes him just as uncomfortable as it does me, though he probably isn’t musing on how it once felt to have breasts of one’s own….

“The — the baby’s name is Kristin, by the way,” Ollie says as his sister giggles with embarrassment.

“Oh — sorry!” Georgie says, giggling again as I hand her a glass of orange juice. “Baby brain, you know… Marley’s the dad, obviously, but he’s like, working today at the gym, while I’m obviously on maternity leave, heh. Good thing my bosses were okay with me taking maternity after loads of months on full row, though.”

“Furlough,” Ollie corrects his sister.

“Well — that thing, anyway,” Georgie says as I hand Ollie his drink and sit down in the spare chair. “But I got sent the link to your party last night, and I couldn’t go ‘cause of this little one so I thought ‘I ain’t seen Ian in a while, maybe I’ll bring my little rainbow along to meet him in his new place.’ So here we are, I had to get a lift off of Ollie ‘cause I don’t fancy taking Kris on the tube yet, ‘specially not on a Saturday morning.”

“Sensible,” I muse, listening to Georgie as she speaks and trying not to be distracted by the presence of the man who was for months my best friend — right up until he wasn’t.

“But how about you?” Georgie asks with an excited giggle. “This is a gorgeous place you’ve got, mine and Marley’s ain’t not much bigger even with this little one, heh!”

“Th- thanks,” I chuckle, my eyes meeting Ollie’s once again only to immediately look away. She really couldn’t have got a lift from anyone else? “L- Leanne’s, like, paying most of the rent while I finish uni, so — yeah. She should be back soon, so you’ll get to — umm, meet her.” Which will no doubt go down well. If she was stressed by Ben being here, God only knows how she’ll react to Ollie.

“I’ve seen photos of her, she’s well pretty,” Georgie says with a giggle. “Wonder why I ain’t not seen her down the salon before?”

“Other than it being closed for the last year and a half?” Ollie asks, smirking and rolling his eyes as his sister giggles again.

“And we didn’t start dating until after the first lockdown, so — yeah,” I interject.

“You must be pretty serious to already be living together, then,” Georgie says.

“I… think she’s amazing,” I say with a dreamy smile. “Easily, by absolute light years the best partner I’ve ever had.” And that includes fake ones, I think as I shoot another glare at Ollie while his sister continues speaking.

“Aww, that’s so cute!” Georgie giggles. “Have you two thought about tying the knot yet, then?”

“Ah — no, not quite yet,” I reply as I try not to blush. “We’re kinda — kinda taking our own path there.” Though I certainly wouldn’t say no if Leanne asked me, I think to myself.

“Yeah, me and Marl too,” Georgie says. “Our mum wanted us to get married when I got pregnant this time but there weren’t no churches open ‘cause of this virus, and we already told them before if we get married, we’re gonna do it ‘cause we want to, not ‘cause, like, society or summat says we should. I mean, if we love each other, what difference does it make?” I can’t help but smile as my friend rants- compared to the superficial airhead she was before, Georgie seems to have matured a lot. Motherhood clearly suits her, even though I can't help but ask about something she just said.

“Sorry, but — you said ‘pregnant this time?’ ” I ask, biting my lip as a sad look falls over Georgie’s face — I hope I haven’t hit a nerve….

“Yeah, I — I’ve had a couple of miscarriages before,” Georgie says with a sad sigh as I feel my stomach start to churn at my insensitivity.

“Oh — God, I’m so sorry to hear that,” I say, almost trembling with anxiety.

“Meh, it is what it is, I suppose,” the blonde woman says with a shrug. “Maybe they just weren’t meant to be, while Kris is meant to be, or summat. I dunno.”

“Well — yeah, I suppose,” I say, smiling and averting my eyes as the baby finishes feeding and Georgie starts to cover herself back up… right as the front door opens and Leanne walks in, her jaw immediately dropping with surprise at the sight that greets her.

“Oh — hello…” Leanne says, her anxiety from last night clearly rapidly returning.

“H- hi babe,” I say, standing up and greeting my girlfriend with a kiss that much to my frustration, does nothing to ease her tension. “These, umm, this is Georgie, who I think you’ve met before, and this — this is her brother, umm, Ollie.” Who I have told you about, I think to myself. In the context of being my pretend ex-boyfriend, at least….

“Hi, nice to meet you both,” Leanne says, waving at both of our guests before sitting down in the chair I just vacated, relegating me to sitting on the chair’s arm. “What brings you round today?” I bite my lip as I can’t help but feel that question was directed more at me than at Georgie and Ollie.

“Well, we saw the invite for the party last night, but I couldn’t come ‘cause of this little one,” Georgie explains. “But it’s been AGES since I last saw Ian so I thought ‘he won’t be doing anything on Saturday, why not drop round?’ So I did.”

“Okay,” Leanne replies, glaring at me again before fixing her eyes on Ollie.

“I — I’m kinda the ‘designated driver’ for these two,” Ollie explains as he gestures to his sister and his niece.

“And this little one’s Kristin, or Kris for short,” Georgie says, giggling as she stands up and approaches my girlfriend. “D’you wanna hold her?”

“Ah — no, no thanks,” Leanne says, her tension seemingly skyrocketing as the tiny infant is held out to her.

“She won’t bite!” Georgie giggles. “She ain’t got no teeth, for one thing….”

“Oh, I — I’m not great with kids,” Leanne says, fidgeting as Kris gets closer and closer to her. “And — well, Covid is still a thing, and — yeah….”

“Meh, fair enough,” Georgie says, briefly looking at me before returning to her seat. “Guess that just means more cuddles for me, hehe!”

“Yeah,” I chuckle as I try not to fidget too. “I — I’m not all that great with kids either. Heh, unlike my mentor, Stuart. The one guy who’s probably done more to help me through my transition than anyone else.” And yes, Ollie, that is very much directed at you. The fact that the bespectacled man can’t return my gaze tells me that my message had the desired effect.

“Meh, not everyone’s cut out to be a parent, I guess,” Georgie says with a shrug. “Like, people think I’m thick ‘cause of how I talk and ‘cause I’m a hairdresser and didn’t get great GCSEs, but if I’m good at being a mum, does it even matter?”

“I never thought so,” I say, making my friend grin as she holds her daughter close to her. “How — how’s Brooke, anyway? Do you still keep in touch with her, what with Covid and everything?”

“I hope so, seeing she’s one of Kris’s godmothers!” Georgie giggles excitedly. “Marley’s mum is the other one, and Ollie and Marley’s brother are gonna be godfathers too.”

“Ah, double congratulations, then,” I say with a chuckle as Ollie smiles and nods.

“He’s been told he ain’t teaching her dragons and whatsit you play, though,” Georgie says with a giggle as her brother rolls his eyes.

“Dungeons and Dragons,” Ollie corrects his sister as he piques my interest.

“I didn’t know you played,” I say, biting my lip as Ollie suddenly goes from ‘wondering why he’s here’ to ‘engaged.’

“Yep,” the bespectacled man replies with a grin. “We started during lockdown as a Zoom thing, then when we could meet face to face again, made it into a regular thing.”

“So, is this you and uni friends?” I ask.

“Work colleagues,” Ollie replies. “But we’ve always got seats for new players if you’re interested.” Before I can reply, though, my girlfriend answers for both of us.

“We — we have a game already, thanks,” Leanne says, with me nodding as Ollie looks to me for confirmation. We did have a game, anyway….

“Oh my God, I’m surrounded by nerds,” Georgie says with a tired giggle. “Don’t shoot nerd rays out your hands like Spiderman or nothing!”

“…Yeah,” Ollie chuckles after a brief silence. “Anyways, I get the feeling we’re kinda outstaying our welcome here, so we should probably head off before Kris needs changing, heh.”

“Oh — only if you’re sure,” I say, my girlfriend remaining conspicuously silent.

“Yeah,” Ollie says with a shrug. “Besides, you two have only just moved in, don’t want to intrude in the ‘love shack,’ heh.” Chance’d be a fine thing, I think as Leanne suddenly looks very uncomfortable at the implication.

“Well — okay,” I say, standing and giving Ollie a fist bump and Georgie a gentle hug as they head out of the flat, Leanne remaining in her chair until our guests have left.

When I return, I'm greeted by the most awkward silence of the weekend so far.

“…That was an unexpected surprise,” I say, hoping to ease my girlfriend’s obvious tension, though a quick glance tells me that my hopes are very much in vain.

“Mm-hmm,” Leanne grunts in reply, her jaw clenched tightly shut.

“It — it’s been a surreal couple of days,” I chuckle as I clear away the dirty mugs, before sitting down on the sofa with the coffee Leanne brought for me. “Thanks for this, by the way.”

“Sure,” Leanne mumbles. “Though I’m not sure how ‘surreal’ you’d find it if you walked in on your partner entertaining their ex-boyfriend and a newborn.”

“…Ollie is not and has never been my ‘boyfriend,’ ex or otherwise,” I retort. “As for Georgie and her baby, I don’t keep up with her enough on Facebook to even know that she was pregnant, so that’s as big a surprise to me as it is to you.”

“Or would be if I even knew Georgie,” Leanne says, anger slowly seeping into her voice.

“Don’t you — don’t you know her through Abbey-Gayle?” I ask. “I’m sure they still hang out a lot….”

“ ‘Cousin’s girlfriend’s friend’ barely even qualifies as acquaintance,” Leanne snarls. “ ‘Boyfriend’s friend’ is barely any better.”

“Umm, okay…” I say, biting my lip. “Leanne, if I — if I’ve, like, done something, something to upset you, I really am sor-”

“You can’t tell, can you?” Leanne interrupts me, before sighing. “You really, really can’t tell.”

“P- please tell me what I’ve done wrong,” I say. “I — I can at least tell that you’re upset, and it — it must be something I’ve done, so please, tell me what I can do to make things right. I — I love you, Leanne. I really want us to make a go of- well, this. This place. OUR place.”

“ ‘Our’ place,” Leanne snorts.

“…Yes, ‘our’ place,” I say, confused by my girlfriend’s response. “Leanne, p- please tell me what’s wrong. I want more than anything to make it right.” I bite my lip as Leanne pauses, before sighing and putting her coat back on. “L- Leanne? What’s wrong? Where are you going?”

“Back home,” Leanne replies bluntly, making my stomach churn.

“…I thought this was your home?” I ask in a feeble, terrified voice.

“Yeah, so did I,” Leanne sighs, pausing to take one look at me as she opens the front door, before sighing again and leaving me by myself.

Immediately, a million thoughts start racing around my mind. It’s very obvious that Leanne is distressed right now, and it’s very obvious that it’s something I’ve done, and yet I have precisely zero clue what that is. It clearly has something to do with the visitors we’ve received yesterday and today — or at least, I hope that’s the reason. It’d certainly be better than me being the reason.

Better than sharing a house with a lover who’s all man from the waist up and ‘zero man’ from the waist down. Better than sharing a house with a ‘man’ who always leaves the toilet seat down. And much better than opening the bathroom cupboard and seeing your boyfriend’s feminine hygiene products stacked next to your own.

Consciously, of course, I know that Leanne doesn’t have any problem with my ‘status’ — she surely can’t do, not after over a year of being together. And yet, there’s always this niggling doubt at the back of my mind that I’m not ‘man enough’ for her, or indeed for any woman. Of course, there are things I can do about that, especially after five years of transitioning, but if Stuart’s example has taught me anything, it’s a lot of pain, a lot of discomfort and an unbelievably long recovery period, I won’t be ‘fully functional’ even after recovering from all of the surgeries, and worst of all, there’s no guarantee that even that would be enough for Leanne — or indeed, any other woman. Except that I don’t want any other woman. I’ve found the perfect woman for me.

Unfortunately, it seems like she’s decided she hasn’t found the perfect man for her.

I know better than to risk making things worse by trying to talk to Leanne while she’s still stressed, but at the same time, I know I need a release for my own stress — bottling things up and trying to ignore everything has ended VERY badly for me in the past, after all. Ordinarily, a gaming session would help me calm down, but after logging in to my PlayStation and seeing that none of my friends are online (unsurprising, given that it is a Saturday morning and it’s warm outside), I instead turn to Facebook — where none of my close friends are online either. Looking down the ‘online’ list, though, one name does stand out to me as someone who might be able to help with my situation — even if he is someone I haven’t spoken to in ages.

‘Hey Reuben, got a sec?’ I type, biting my lip as I wait for his reply. Reuben is Leanne’s cousin and Abbey-Gayle’s partner, and even though I normally have more contact with those two women — and even with Reuben’s older brother Keith, the occasional keyboard player for the Celestials — Reuben and I have always been friendly with each other. Hopefully that’ll continue even after he hears about mine and Leanne’s latest ‘disagreement….’

‘Sure mate, what’s up?’ Reuben replies mere seconds later with a ‘smiling’ emoji. ‘Long time no talk lol!’

‘Yep!’ I reply with a ‘smiling’ emoji of my own as I ponder how to word my next question, typing and deleting text over and over again before finally settling on what I want to ask and how I want to ask it. ‘Do you know if Leanne’s gone back to your parents’ house?’

‘I’m not there at the moment so I’m not sure,’ Reuben replies. ‘Did you two have an argument already? I thought you only moved in together a few days ago?’

‘Yep, and I’m not sure what I’ve done wrong,’ I reply with a sad face. ‘Was hoping you had some insight into your cousin.’

‘Wish I could help, I really do, but she’s quiet even around family,’ Reuben replies. ‘You know how quiet she was when I introduced the two of you, that’s kinda why we thought you’d be good together. What went wrong?’

‘Wish I knew!’ I reply with a ‘sad’ emoji. ‘We had a housewarming party last night, just a small thing with 6 other people, then a couple of my old friends dropped round this morning, then she went off the deep end.’

‘Who was at the party last night?’ Reuben asks.

‘My friends Laura, Ashley, Ellie and Jade,’ I reply. ‘A couple of guys I know from uni. Why does that matter?’

‘Was there anyone Leanne knows?’ Reuben asks. ‘Any work colleagues, maybe?’

‘Nope,’ I reply.

‘Dude, you’ve come to the right guy with this problem,’ Reuben says. ‘Even though Abbey-Gayle’s been here long enough that she’s now a British citizen, she still misses her friends and extended family in Jamaica all the time.’ And God knows I felt the same way when I moved from Cardiff to London, I think to myself. Especially now that Lee’s gone back home too….

‘So Leanne’s homesick, is that it?’ I ask.

‘That and the fact that she doesn’t make friends easily,’ Reuben replies. ‘Most of her work colleagues are just that — colleagues. I always got the impression that she was out of her comfort zone dating you — not that that’s a bad thing, of course. But if she can’t feel comfortable in her own home, it’s not going to be fun for her going forward.’ And God knows I have more than enough experience there too, I think to myself as I remember — reluctantly — the first sixteen years of my life.

Every aspect of my life, down to the very sheets I slept under, was dictated to me by my ‘mother.’ I had no say over what colour my walls were painted, what hobbies I did, what TV shows I watched, especially what clothes I wore or even what friends I hung out with. I didn’t even have any say over what presents I got for Christmas or birthday — or, more frequently, both at the same time with them being less than a week apart. Moving in with grandma for two years was a breath of fresh air, and when Lee and I moved into our own place for university, it was freedom unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. Freedom I was determined to continue experiencing with Leanne… seemingly without realising that she deserved her freedom as well, and especially a place she could call her own.

Sure, we had equal say in how to decorate the flat, we jointly paid for the furniture and the lease is in both of our names, but over the past 24 hours the only people who have been here have been my friends at my party. Leanne barely even knows Ellie and Jade, and given that she knows how ‘eagerly’ Laura’s thrown herself at me in the past, it’s no wonder her presence stressed Leanne out as well. And given that she knows my history with Ollie as well, it’s no wonder that stress only increased when she saw him this morning. The only real question is why mine didn’t….

‘Yeah, I’ve screwed up, then,’ I type as I let out a long sigh.

‘Good to see you’ve learned lesson 1 of being a good boyfriend,’ Reuben types. ‘Always accept the blame, even — no, ESPECIALLY when you’ve not actually done anything.’

‘Learned that one the hard way a while ago,’ I reply, earning a ‘laughing’ emoji in reply from my friend.

‘I don’t doubt it,’ Reuben types. ‘I’ll text my mum and ask her to keep an eye out for Leanne, tell her to drive her back to you personally if need be.’

‘Thanks,’ I reply. ‘That might do more harm than good, though, I think Leanne needs her space right now.’

‘Your place is meant to be Leanne’s ‘space,’ ’ Reuben retorts- and it’s impossible to argue. ‘I’d love to stay and chat more but Abbey-Gayle’s got some sort of Angel thing this morning that I have to go to as a dutiful ‘HaB.’ I’m already late for it in fact lol. But I’ll text my mum, I promise.’ I smirk at Reuben’s use of the acronym for ‘husbands and boyfriends,’ a play on the acronym ‘WaG’ for wives and girlfriends of major football teams, or according to my mother, the ‘career’ she’d always hoped I’d have as an adult.

‘Thanks,’ I repeat, adding a ‘smiling’ emoji to mirror Reuben’s own as he logs out and leaves me by myself.

With nothing else to do on a Saturday morning, and because I don’t want to leave the flat in case Leanne returns, I switch my PlayStation back on and settle in for a morning of climbing the virtual Mount Celeste, only to smile when I see a familiar name on my friends list — and a chat request that comes through mere seconds later.

“Morning!” I say into my headset, allowing myself a smile despite my stress.

“Good morning, sunshine!” The voice of my best friend replies with a laugh. “Saturday morning, the last before you go back to uni and your first in your new place with your hot girlfriend, and you think ‘I know, this calls for a gaming session?’ ”

“Need the distraction,” I reply with a sigh, which Lee immediately picks up on.

“Go on, what happened?” Lee asks, briefly pausing. “You know it’s good to talk, right? It’s been recommended to you over and over not to bottle up your feelings?”

“Recommended to ME, yes,” I reply. “I’m not sure whether or not Leanne ever picked up on that message.”

“Okay…” Lee says. “I assume that you’ve accepted all responsibility on account of you being a guy?”

“Obviously,” I reply. “Well, I will when I speak to her next. Basically, what happened was we had a housewarming party last night, then a few of my old friends dropped round this morning, and — yeah. I think she’s a bit stressed out that it’s all of my friends invading her — well, our, but still very much HER space.”

“And none of her friends from work or anywhere went to the party?” Lee asks.

“Nope,” I reply.

“It’s kinda surprising she had that bad a reaction to it, though,” Lee muses. “I mean, she never had any problem with me in our old place, did she?”

“Probably because it was, by definition, our place, as in mine and yours,” I reply. “This new place is mine and Leanne’s. At least, it’s supposed to be.”

“Heh, and people say guys don’t have empathy for this sort of shit,” Lee chuckles. “This isn’t me making a comment on, well, you, if anything it’s a compliment. I mean, who else could be the perfect boyfriend?”

“I’m flattered,” I say with a snort of laughter. “So you’re saying that you’d want to date me if you’d been born Lee-An- actually, no, let’s not go down the road of me accidentally calling you by my girlfriend’s name, this conversation’s weird enough as it is.”

“Not as weird as if I’d actually answered that question,” Lee replies. “But I’m up for some videogame therapy to take my mind off it if you are?”

“Always,” I reply. “FIFA or ESO?”

“I’m in the mood for bludgeoning a few things to death in a fantasy setting,” Lee replies. “So FIFA it is.” I smile as I load up the game, relaxing back onto my sofa as, for the umpteenth time, my best friend helps me take my mind off of my anxieties.

Our gaming session lasts until early afternoon, at which point we stop for lunch, and with Lee needing to study afterwards, I am once again left at a loose end. I try to distract myself with TV, streaming and social media throughout the afternoon, but I’m constantly drawn back toward messenger, waiting for but not receiving any message from the woman who I hope is still my girlfriend.

…Which makes it all the more surprising when she walks through the front door just after 5:30pm, dropping her handbag and her coat on the chair before staring at me with her arms crossed and a determined look on her face.

“Babe, h- hi,” I say, trying not to seem too taken aback by her sudden return and her uncharacteristic defiance toward me. However, my discussions with Reuben and Lee mean I instinctively know what I need to do next. “I — I’m sorry about this morning. And — and last night too. I didn’t take your feelings into account as much as I should have, I now know how overwhelming it must’ve been for you — heh. And I kinda — kinda have some firsthand experience of shit like that.” I try not to fidget as Leanne’s face briefly softens at my implied mention of New Year's Day in 2020, before returning to its previous stern visage. She opens her mouth as if to say something, before closing it again, taking a deep breath through her nose and finally speaking.

“…Well?” Leanne asks, confusing me. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”

“…I just did?” I reply, my nerves starting to jangle as I continue to be stared down. “Have you — umm, did you get — get something done, like your hair?”

“BOY,” Leanne replies, her voice seeming to echo throughout the entrance hall, confusing me yet further until she steps aside and, much to my surprise, lets Laura and Ellie into the flat.

“Okay, I’m definitely missing something here,” I say, trying not to fidget as all three women stare me down. “I — I’m sorry… again?”

“Well, there’s definitely no doubt that you are absolutely, utterly, 100% BOY,” Laura says with an overdramatic sigh. “Is it in here?”

“Yep, let me show you where,” Leanne says, leading my two friends into our bedroom, emerging a few moments later with Laura carrying something in a large carrier bag.

“…Are we being robbed?” I ask in an attempt to lighten the situation.

“BOY,” the three women chastise me once again, Laura opening her bag to show me — much to my surprise — the ‘Seven of Nine’ costume Leanne wore me for me earlier this year.

“It’s been thoroughly cleaned since I last wore it,” Leanne explains. “Best not to iron it, you won’t need to as it’ll stretch out, trust me on that, heh.”

“Thanks,” Laura says, she and Ellie exchanging a brief hug with my girlfriend before heading toward the front door.

“Good luck, Ian!” Ellie says with a devilish grin as Leanne and I are once again left alone.

“…Still not figured it out?” Leanne asks.

“Honestly, I — I’m just glad you’re back,” I reply with a sigh. “I was — I was worried, Leanne. Worried for you, for us….”

“Let me give you a clue,” my girlfriend says, overdramatically waving her hands in my face- and showing off the dark polish on her fingernails, a first in all the time I’ve known her.

“You- you got a manicure?” I ask.

“And the crowd goes wild,” Leanne replies with a sarcastic sigh, before giggling and giving me a long, deep kiss that immediately eliminates my anxiety. “…Yeah, I got a manicure. This — this is kinda a long story, heh.”

“I’ve got all the time you need,” I say, gently gripping my girlfriend’s hand as we sit down together on the sofa.

“I — I got stressed out,” Leanne explains with a tired-sounding sigh.

“I kinda — kinda figured,” I say. “I, like, spoke to your cousin. To Reuben. He helped me, well, figure out that — heh. That ever since we’ve moved in it’s kinda been more my place than yours. That it’s been my friends coming over, and-”

“OUR friends,” Leanne interrupts, before giggling and giving me another kiss. “And — well, yeah. It does make me kinda a bit anxious when four attractive girls come in and greet your boyfriend like an old friend, especially when they ARE old friends, heh.”

“I — I get that, totally,” I sigh. “And if you — if you want me to, like, cut off contact with them, I-”

“It might make things awkward now that I’M friends with them,” Leanne interrupts with a devilish grin. “I thought — heh. I had a lot of time to think when I left here today. I did — I didn’t want you to have to deal with my stress, my anxiety about all of this, especially not after everything you’ve been through before, especially as, well, ‘crowded parties’ must be kinda a sensitive topic for you.”

“…Maybe a little,” I mumble. “But I don’t want anyone I love — especially you — to have to tiptoe around my mental health when you’re struggling as well, you know?”

“…I know NOW,” Leanne chuckles. “Especially as it turns out that bottling up all of my own stress, my own anxiety is, well, not the best idea, as it turns out. So when I left here, I kept thinking over and over in my head ‘how do I make this better?’ And every time those thoughts ran through my mind, they always went back to the same person — to Laura.”

“Why her?” I ask.

“The fact that the two of you have done the ‘horizontal mambo’ before,” Leanne replies with a snort. “And I don’t need to know the ‘ergonomics’ of how that worked, thank you very much. But the fact is still that trans or not, you’re a hunk and she’s a tall, skinny, sexy supermodel.”

“Well, thanks on my behalf for calling me a hunk, anyway,” I chuckle. “As for Laura, she — she’s just something I needed to get out of my system, I suppose.”

“And someone I couldn’t help but see as a rival, even if she’s in a long-term relationship of her own,” Leanne says. “I — I don’t find it easy making friends, you know?”

“I — I kinda sometimes forget that it’s not always easier for someone else just ‘cause they’re cis,” I reply with a sad chuckle.

“But I thought, ‘why see her as a rival when I can try to be friends with her instead?’ ” Leanne explains. “So I added her on Facebook, we chatted a bit, she invited me to one of her favourite nail salons and, well — yeah. She explained also that she’s got a science fiction party coming up for one of her university societies, so — heh. Had a girly day out, I suppose.”

“Heh, I have bad memories of those,” I chuckle, smiling as my girlfriend gives my hand a gentle squeeze. “But I — I’m glad you’ve made a friend, at least. Even if I don’t need the two of you ‘comparing notes,’ heh.”

“Oh, plenty of that happened,” Leanne says with a smug smile, giggling as I roll my eyes. “But, like, in a good way as well, if that makes sense. She told me about her observations of ‘Kayleigh-Ann,’ how tough you had it growing up… it’s probably for the best if I never meet your mother, heh.”

“Probably for the best if I never see her again, let alone you,” I retort, earning a genuine laugh.

“Yeah…” Leanne says with a sigh. “I’ve got to imagine that you miss Cardiff sometimes, though? I mean, your grandmother, and now Lee too?”

“At times,” I reply. “But I can always talk to them online. I had a gaming session with Lee just today, in fact, to — well, take my mind off things.”

“Yeah,” Leanne whispers, blushing at my inadvertent guilt trip. “I — I ask because I — I need to know.”

“…Need to know if I miss Wales?” I ask, confused by my girlfriend’s sudden hesitation.

“No, I — I need to know…” Leanne starts, before taking a deep breath. “I, umm, if — if I moved back to Canada, would you — would you come with me?” My jaw drops open as I try to process the question — it’s something Leanne’s never even hinted at before, but like Reuben said earlier, she must get homesick, just as I do, and given the events of the last 24 hours, she must be craving her ‘real’ home more than ever.

“Are you — do you want, like, to move back to Canada?” I ask nervously.

“H- hypothetically speaking,” Leanne replies. “I just — I need to know if this, if what we’ve got, if it’s, you know, ‘conditional.’ ”

“It’s not conditional,” I whisper, squeezing Leanne’s hand gently. “But it — it’s a big ask, moving across an ocean.” I bite my lip as Leanne frowns — that’s clearly not the response she wanted to hear, but I don’t want to lie to her either.

Would I emigrate to be with Leanne? She’s easily the best girlfriend I’ve ever had, and if I was going to live abroad, there are worse places to be than Canada, especially from the standpoint of a trans person. But then I’d need to find work, I’d need to try to learn French, too, which I was always terrible at in school thanks to my dyslexia. There’d be hours of time difference between me and my friends in the UK, I’d need to find a job and the only person I’d know over there would be Leanne… which means I’d pretty much be in the same position she is in right now. Okay, she has a stable job and she has her aunt, uncle and her cousins, but she’s still far from home, and I have to be part of the reason she’s staying over here. I know I’d miss her if she wasn’t here. Badly miss her. Badly enough… that I would consider leaving the country to follow her.

“…Yes,” I say softly. “Yes, I would move to Canada with you, if that’s what you wanted. And I — I’m sorry I didn’t reply immediately, but I — I have to think about these things as much as you do, you know?”

“I understand,” Leanne replies with a happy, genuine smile. “And thank you.” I smile and finally allow myself to relax as we exchange yet another kiss. “And I — I’m sorry I went off. I really do want to work on it. Here, in London, just so there isn’t any doubt, heh.”

“And I want to help you, I really do,” I whisper. “I — I love you, Leanne.”

“I love you, Ian,” Leanne whispers. “Does anything more need to be said?”

“Not to me,” I reply.

“Then we’ll help each other,” Leanne says with a confident grin as we relax back into the sofa and each other’s embrace. “Us and our friends. OUR friends.”

“Our chosen family,” I say with a happy, contented sigh.

Of course, as I said that, I had no way of knowing that the drama with my ‘other real family’ was far from over….