Authors Note: OK, so... in a strange turn of events I ended up joining a roller derby team. It's been a great learning experience and fun, plus I've got to meet several queer and trans people through the sport. So the other day I saw a preview for the new sitcom "Stumble" and I was immediately like, I could write a show about a loveable group of misfits who bring a Roller Derby team back to life." Then my wife and I workshopped the idea back and forth and I had the skeleton of a great story.

So for something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from "Mud Creek" we have "DERBY CITY" where loveable misfits find family and purpose by bashing into each other on roller skates. And don't worry, the show, or um, book, will have a very strong transgender protagonist, who will be introduced around chapter 4 I think. 33% Comedy, 33% sports, 33% Romance, and 1% to grow on.

Chapter 1

Rose dropped down on her couch, her long skinny leg accidentally kicking a beer can off the table. She clicked another contact on her list and put the phone to her ear.

“Atomic, babe, it’s me Rose… Queen Black Heart… Yeah listen, I know you don’t want to play again since Covid, but it’s time we get the show back on the road.”

Rose listened as she ran a hand through her curly candy red hair. “I respect that, but you were a damn good ref… Yeah, I know, I know, I’m sorry. Listen, those bastards at city hall are going to tear down the community center to make room for a new Scooters coffee… For real I know, like they are so small. Anyway I’m getting the team back together to bomb their city meeting. We’re going to shut it down….”

“Oh you moved to Kalimazoo. Shit. Well… OK bye.”

Rose got up off the couch and kicked the beer can across the floor. “Man!”

She was near the bottom of her contact list. She clicked the next contact and started tidying up her apartment while it rang. “What’s up Blue, yeah OK, Neal… It’s Rose, Queen Black Heart… Of course of course… I never stopped skating, I hit up the skate park and around the apartment mostly. How about you? You got divorced? Oh man, I hate to hear that… So OK here’s the deal, I’m getting the team back together. We’ve got to save the community center first… Yeah I know Scotters coffee, they just kind of appear over night… Awesome you’re in! Yeah I mean we lost a few people to The Big City Team, not everybody is going to come back, we’ll have to recruit, but this Derby City baby! Sweet”

Rose sat her phone on the table and did a cha cha around the living room. “We’re back baby!”

***

Rose paced back and forth in the lobby. She was wearing her army green field jacket with all the punk and queer patches. Maybe the not the best impression, but these government nerds all probably wished they could dress like her, or maybe hated people who dressed like her, but either way, fuck it.

Rose turned around and saw Neal standing right behind her. He still had his big Buddy Holly glasses, and was wearing a suit and tie. He slowly shook his head.

“You had to wear the militant lesbian jacket?”

“You are what you eat.” Rose said and gave him a hug. “Well you look professional.”

“Hey guys, long time no see,” Rose and Neal turned to see Tracey, “Dropkick Murphy” glide into the lobby with her trademark long floral hippie skirt, and Neil Young T-shirt.

“Kick! Babe I’m so glad you could make it!” Rose said and hugged her.

“Where’s the others?” The woman asked.

“I think this is it?” Rose said.

“Scar?” Murphy asked.

“Preggo”

“Thrillz?”

“Married.”

“Sister Sledge?”

“Joined The City League."

“Atomic?”

“Moved to Kalamazoo?”

“Craig?”

“Said he’d outgrown roller derby,”

“He was a douche anyway. At least we got the brains behind the operation. Good to see you Neal.” Tracey said as she took his hand.

Neal smiled and they hugged.

Rose joined in and then the group stood in a tight circle. “Allright guys were up in five minutes, what do you guys got?”

“What do we got? You didn’t write a speech or something?” Neal asked.

Rose shrugged. “I was thinking more… vibes.”

Tracey snorted. “Fantastic. I love vibes. Vibes saved my landlord from selling the building to a vape shop.”

Before Rose could respond, a door opened and a bored-looking clerk leaned out. “Derby City Coalition?”

“That’s us,” Rose said, already moving. She glanced back at the other two. “Just follow my lead.”

Neal opened his mouth, then closed it again.

The council chamber was smaller than Rose expected. Beige walls, beige carpet, beige people. Five council members sat behind a raised desk, shuffling papers, not looking up. A small Scooters Coffee logo was already visible on a placard at the side of the room.

Rose stepped up to the microphone, which immediately squealed with feedback.

“Hi. Uh. Good evening,” she said, then immediately abandoned that tone. “I’m Rose Blackheart. I run Derby City Roller Derby out of the community center you’re planning to bulldoze.”

One of the council members finally looked up. He smiled politely, the way people smile at waiters.

Rose barreled on.

“Roller derby isn’t just a sport. It's a community. It’s a unique women-led space. It’s queer people finding somewhere they’re not stared at. It’s men learning how to play a supporting role without needing to be in charge. It’s”

She gestured behind her.

“childcare swaps and bake sales and teaching people how to fall down and get back up without being embarrassed about it.”

Tracey nodded vigorously. Neal stared straight ahead, jaw clenched.

“We can fundraise. We can fix the roof. We’ve fixed worse things than a roof,” Rose said. “You take this building away and you’re not just closing a gym. You’re erasing a space for everyday people of this community.”

She stopped. Breathing hard. Waiting for applause that didn’t come.

There was a brief silence. Then a woman in a blazer leaned toward her microphone.

“Thank you for sharing,” she said. “We really appreciate your passion.”

Rose’s stomach dropped.

“The reality,” the woman continued, “is that the building failed inspection. The roof repairs were cost-prohibitive. The sale was approved last quarter.”

Another council member chimed in. “Scooters Coffee has already signed the lease. Demolition starts next month.”

“So that’s it?” Rose said. “That’s the whole conversation?”

The man shrugged. “Sometimes deals are already done.”

The clerk cleared her throat. “Next speaker, please.”

Outside, the door closed softly behind them.

Tracey broke the silence first. “Well,” she said. “That went exactly how I thought it would.”

Neal exhaled. “We just got steamrolled.”

Rose stared at the door for a long second. Then she smiled.

The three former team mates crossed the street and took up a position in the parking lot. Rose threw her hands up. “Guys, I’m not giving up. This last three years with no derby has sucked.”

Neal put his hands in his pockets, “Well you could join Louisville. They are recruiting for their B team.”

Rose sliced her hand dramatically across her chest. “No, this is Derby City! We deserve our own team.”

Tracey laughed, “Admit it Captain Kirk, you just want to be in charge.”

Rose took a deep breath, “So what if I do?”

Neal raised an eyebrow, “Regardless if you like it, they are about to tear down your star ship and turn it into a gentrified overpriced coffee delivery system.”

Rose looked down, paused and then smiled, "There's always Swankies?” she said.

“The rundown skating rink East of town? Are you kidding?” Tracey asked.

Rose’s smile grew wider. “Guys it’s perfect, I’ve been there a few times last winter. It’s perfect.”

Neal shook his head, “Skating rinks are full of… children.”

“Calm down Neal, we won’t have practice during 6 year old’s birthday parties.”

Rose got that mad look in her eye. The look that could get you to drive overnight to a bout at a fairgrounds in West Virginia. The look that made people forget they had jobs, partners, or common sense. The look that made people say yes before she even opened her mouth.

Rose placed her hands on their shoulders. “Blue Screen, Dropkick… The Derby City Angels are about to take flight!”

“Shit,” Neal said.

Tracey giggled and did a curtsey, “Long live the Queen.”