Firing Blank

My name is Donald James Blank. I know, it’s a hoot, but a hoot I’ve had to live with all my life. In primary school, the teachers would often say, “Come up and write the answer on the slate, Blank’. I was given the nickname, Slate, which stuck with me through higher education and into my first employment, seeing that two of my fellow recruits to the financial company had been with me through the accountancy degree.

The surname came down my fathers’ line, from immigrants centuries ago, who had the name of Blanche. Most of them, when they Anglicized it, took the translation of White, but not my fathers’ ancestors, who obviously liked the sound of their family name.

It had its funny moments, sometimes, when I refused to go drinking with them, I was called a ‘wet blankette’ which was also a nod to my height. I often got scowled at by government officials when I was filling in forms. I mean to say, you have to follow the instructions, and if the bit under the dotted line says, ‘do not leave this space blank’, then what was I supposed to do, move on?

I have to admit, I wasn’t sure about myself at all. I didn’t feel that I was comfortable as me. I often wondered just what it was that I was missing. My friends said that I was missing the human urge to procreate, and that was when they were feeling kind. Girls that I worked with passed me by as being a loser.

Wandering the city streets, one evening, I found a place that helped, a place where nobody questioned me, a place where I could be a misfit among other misfits. It was, I found out after the first few visits, a gay club for both men and women, as well as some who wanted to be the other. It was a gentle place to spend some time at, and there were added attractions should you become a member. The free entry being the main one.

I was earning good money in the job and didn’t spend a lot on myself. I had built up a savings account which would tide me over on a rainy day. The club ran regular raffles for members, usually they were ten pounds a ticket, with a box of wine or a dinner voucher being the prize. As I was well aware of how numbers worked, I could see that they usually made a good profit out of them.

One evening, there was a notice behind the bar which announced a ‘Super draw’. There were twenty prizes on offer, the bottom ten being a half a dozen bottles of wine, the next seven being vouchers for meals, and the top three were well worth the ticket price. Third was a voucher at one of the top department stores for twenty-five thousand, the second was a similar voucher for seventy-five thousand, while the top prize was a ‘round the world trip’, with mystery extras, worth a cool quarter of a million. The ticket price, at a thousand pounds, was something I had in the bank, so I entered the draw that night, transferring the money through my phone app.

That evening, I sat with the small group that had accepted me without question and talked about the draw. They were a mixed group, all well gay but not as pushy with it as some. To them, I was Don, or Donnie, and sometimes Donna, as I had never professed a preference, happy to be balancing on the fence. Most were in good jobs and had a degree, so I wasn’t out of my depth in conversation. I discovered that there had been previous big raffles, but none with a first prize so large.

The big draw was to be six weeks after, so allowing the members to buy their tickets. Seeing that the club would normally have up to five hundred in it on a Saturday night, I expected that it would easily cover the cost of the promotion.

That six weeks, however, were dramatic, and traumatic, for me. One of our money market guys had made a terrible mistake, not noticing that the zero button on his computer was sticky, so gambling many more millions than was intended on a market movement that didn’t happen. He, and several more of us, were ‘downsized’. It was the rainy day that I had been saving for.

For a few days, I remained stoic, asking around the companies about likely jobs. Unfortunately, it was a matter of appearance. All of us that had been let go were painted with the same brush of incompetence as the one who had made the error. I started to regret spending the thousand on a gamble of my own.

I was living in a furnished apartment and had enough to stay there for about six months, but things would get tight after that, so I started thinking about a move, possibly to another city where they didn’t know the details of my reason for looking for a job. I went to the club most evenings, seeing that it cost me nothing to be there, and was very careful to make a drink last a long time.

On the Saturday night of the draw, it was packed. I managed to find a seat with the regulars, and we all waited with bated breath for the announcements. They started from the twentieth prize first, and slowly worked up the list towards the top. About every four or five draws, they made sure that everyone knew that the vouchers were not redeemable for cash, or even transferable.

As we got into the last few, Some, around me, had won and were rejoicing. I was starting to lose heart, thinking that my thousand was lost for ever, when they got to the first prize. The emcee increased the tension by describing some aspects of the prize. It was a trip around the world, with several weeks in some places, with accommodation, meals, and tours. Plus, the winner would get gifts in each place, depending on the speciality of the place.

I was thinking about going home when he called out.

“And the winner of our fabulous mystery trip is…… Don Blank! Congratulations Don. Come on up and get your voucher.”

I could hardly stand. My legs went on strike, so my companions helped me get to my feet and pushed me towards the stage. I was hyperventilating and breaking out in a sweat as I was handed the voucher with the rest of the audience clapping. The emcee noticed and guided me towards the back of the stage, and out of sight of the others. He sat me down and gave me a glass of water and told me to relax.

Before I went home, I was told some details that I needed to follow.

“Don, this trip is a long one, so you need to organise to leave where you’re living. You’ll be away six months, or more, depending on what extras you take. There are quite a few along the way. We can store anything large for you, and you’ll only need to start with a normal suitcase. When you have worked out what you’re doing, let us know and we’ll organise the trip for you. The first leg is simple, just a hop across the Channel to Paris. The air travel starts there, so, if you want, that can also be your final destination.”

Over the next few weeks, I arranged to vacate the apartment. There wasn’t a lot that I had bought, and much of that was a few years old, so I didn’t worry about leaving them. I kept the club in the loop, and, when I was ready, I contacted them. The day that I vacated the apartment, I was picked up by a club bouncer in a car, my single case put in the back.

He drove me to Dover, onto a ferry and then from Calais into Paris, where we stopped outside a place that looked very similar to the club in London. I was shown to a room on the third floor and then told to relax. I would get my meals in the downstairs club, and someone would take me around to visit the sights.

I stayed there for three weeks, seeing the best of Paris and thoroughly enjoying my holiday. One day, I was taken to the office of one of the best outfitters and given a three-dimensional scan. Before I left Paris, I was given a new Louise Vuitton suitcase with three outfits in. They were very good shirts, slacks and jackets. They fitted perfectly and were of very good material. There was also some pairs of very sleek underpants and soft socks. I was also given a container of vitamin pills, that I was told would give me the strength to carry on the trip.

In Berlin, there was a guy at the airport with a nameboard that had nothing on it. I walked up to him and grinned.

“You must be waiting for me. My name is Don Blank.”

“Oh! Sorry sir. I was told the name was blank, but never realised that it was an actual name.”

I was settled into a similar club and shown around. One day, I had my feet measured at Meisterschuh, and was supplied with three pairs of hand-made shoes. I wasn’t asked what I wanted, similar to Paris, but the shoes fitted the clothing that I had been given, as if they had been bought together. After a few more weeks, I flew to Berne and toured Switzerland, given a new watch before I left. I was starting to see how the trip would burn through a quarter of a million.

From Berne, I went to Florence, where I came away with a beautiful leather jacket. I was starting to wear what I had been given as my normal day wear and feeling more and more sophisticated. From Florence, it was Rome for some sightseeing, and then to Istanbul, where I was escorted through the bazaar, with a local girl who had a debit card. I was allowed to pick gold items, and encouraged to pick lighter items than what I would have normally picked. They did go with the new look, though.

I was given the option of a hotel in Chennai, or a stop in Bangkok, where there was a club. I was encouraged to choose Bangkok and told that it would be my base for a month or more. In Bangkok, I was taken to a clinic where they gave me a full examination. I was given an aptitude test, aimed at finding out what I wanted out of life. I was honest and answered to say that I had never felt ‘right’. In actual fact, I was feeling even less right now than ever before.

A day later, I was back in the clinic to get the results of my examination.

“Mister Blank. Your results are in and are very interesting. You exhibit all the signs of someone wanting to go through a sex change but seem to be denying the fact.”

“I’ve always felt that there was something missing but could never figure out what that was.”

“Could it be something that is, in fact, there, but unwanted?”

“I don’t know. It’s not something I’ve thought about.”

“Mister Blank, Donald. You’re sitting there, in clothes that you’ve been wearing for several weeks. The shirts and slacks are made from material that is usually only found on women. You have shoes designed with a woman in mind. You’re wearing women’s gold jewellery. You may not have thought about it, but you’re well on the way to being a cross-dresser. Part of the prize that you won is the opportunity to go the whole way, and you’re in the best place to do that. We can make you into a woman inside a couple of weeks, and a beautiful woman given a few more weeks.”

“Are you sure?”

“Certainly. You still have enough of your prize to take the step. After this, you will continue to another country where you can be given a genuine identity in your new name. That will allow you to get work anywhere you want to live.”

“What do I need to do now?”

“Nothing. We have the scan that was taken in Paris, as well as all your sizes. By the time that you’re able to leave us, there will be all the clothes and shoes you need to round out what you already have. We have extrapolated any alterations from the original scan, and I can guarantee that you will have no problems passing as a normal woman, with a good body and a feminine features.”

“Look. I have nothing of the old me to hold on to. If you can do what you say, then you have this Blank canvas to work with. I’ll go the whole way.”

I won’t go into the detail of the next month or so. Needless to say, that some of it was rather painful, a lot of it was embarrassing, but the result was miraculous. When I was ready to leave the clinic, there were two more suitcases from Paris, loaded with clothes that fitted perfectly and flowed on my body like waves of light.

I was in Bangkok another three weeks to get used to being a woman, mainly by learning to brush my hair without stabbing my eyes with my nails, and actually walking in heels, rather than always being on the edge of disaster. When I was declared ready to move on, I was taken to the airport. The system was well used to women with a male passport and female temporary travel papers, so I was farewelled and boarded a Philippines Airways flight to Bogota, with a layover in the transit lounge at Manila.

In Bogota, there was a guy with a board that read ‘Donna Blanche’ and he took me to the local club, where I was shown to another room upstairs. I didn’t stay there very long. It was long enough for the very corrupt official to approve a new Columbian passport in the name of Donna Jamie Blanche, along with a real Columbian driving licence and an accounting degree from the University of the Andes. I was on another plane a few days after, enroute to Oporto, where I spent two weeks soaking up the sun and revelling in feeling totalling right as myself for the first time in my life.

While I was there, I was approached by someone from the club. He told me that there was a good position vacant in the Paris Club, and that I was the perfect candidate for the job. Paris was my final landing in the prize, but my life after that was the biggest prize of all. I took over running the books in the Paris club. Eventually I became the financial officer for the whole group, found that I could actually love someone, and I married a guy who sung in the evenings in a dress and had even more cosmetics than I did.

For me, that thousand pounds was the best investment I ever made. As I was longer working for the club, I found out that I had been targeted by the London club as the ideal person to take over a future vacancy. I had first been noted as too uncertain of my sexuality to be trusted in working in that environment, and my downsizing had made it impossible to approach me at the time. The big draw was a put-up job, yes, but it worked and also, oddly enough, made enough money to do something similar every six months.

The firing of Don Blank wasn’t just smoke and noise, but the birth of Donna Blanche, a very solid citizen and wife. Some say that life, itself, is a lottery. I can tell you that sometimes you can win, even if you don’t know what the prize really is.

Marianne Gregory © 2026