The Price of Sacrifice

The three sets of dots disappeared almost as quickly as they had appeared.

Then the messages arrived all at once.

Maddie:
YOU SURVIVED!!!

Natalie:
How did it go?

Riley:
Send a picture.

Samuel stared at the screen.

Samuel:
Hello to you too, Riley.

Riley:
Picture first. Manners later.

He glanced at his reflection in the rearview mirror. Emily had left the wig in loose waves, with one side tucked neatly behind his ear. The makeup was softer than Natalie usually made it, but far more convincing than what he had managed that morning.

Samuel took a quick photograph from the shoulders up.

He examined it twice before sending it.

The responses were immediate.

Maddie:
OH MY GOD SHE’S ALIVE

Natalie:
You look really pretty.

Riley:
The hair is better.

Samuel:
Thank you for the overwhelming support.

Riley:
That was support.

Maddie:
Wait.

Maddie:
Where are you right now?

Samuel looked through the windshield at the salon entrance.

Samuel:
Still outside the salon. I am reading the long list of items that Samantha needs to survive now.

Natalie:
We’re at Westbridge Mall.

Maddie:
COME HERE.

Samuel smiled despite himself.

Maddie:
You said Emily gave you homework.

Samuel:
She gave me a list.

Riley:
Even better. Bring it.

Samuel:
I was planning to go home.

Natalie:
You’re already dressed, and we’re only ten minutes away.

Riley:
Also, you are not buying foundation alone.

Samuel looked at the shopping list inside the folder.

Foundation. Concealer. Powder. Brushes. Makeup remover.

He had no idea what half the notes beside them meant.

Samuel:
Fine. On my way!

Maddie:
FOOD COURT. FIFTEEN MINUTES.

Samuel set the phone in the cup holder.

The appointment had already lasted hours, his scalp was beginning to feel warm beneath the wig, and every part of him wanted to lock the bedroom door and become Samuel again.

Instead, he started the car.

Westbridge Mall was busier than the café had been.

Teenagers drifted between stores in noisy groups. Parents pushed strollers past crowded displays. Music from three different storefronts overlapped near the entrance, creating a rhythm that belonged to none of them.

Samuel adjusted the handbag on his shoulder and stepped inside.

He had visited Westbridge dozens of times as himself. He knew where the bookstore was, which food-court restaurant had the shortest line, and which escalator always made an alarming sound halfway up.

As Samantha, the place felt unfamiliar.

People looked at her differently.

Not openly. Most glances were quick and absentminded, but there were more of them than Samuel was used to receiving. A man moved aside to let her pass. A woman smiled at her feminine outfit. Two boys near an electronics store looked over, whispered something, and laughed.

Samuel kept walking.

He found his friends at a table beside the food court.

Maddie saw him first.

She stood so abruptly that her chair scraped against the floor.

“There she is!”

Several people turned.

Samuel stopped ten feet away. “Could you announce it louder? I don’t think the parking garage heard you.”

Maddie ignored him and wrapped both arms around him.

“You look adorable.”

“I look like I’ve been in a salon for four hours.”

“Exactly. Adorable.”

Natalie hugged him next, more gently.

“It really does look good.”

“Thank you, I think.”

Riley remained seated, studying him over the top of her drink.

Samuel looked back at her. “Well?”

“The belt works.”

He glanced down at Lily’s brown belt. He was still unsure of his decision. Beneath the girly outfit, Samuel was still there. He was not dressed as Samantha because of a personal resolution. If it was his choice, he would not be dressed like that. Maybe he would not even be there.

Samuel sat beside them and placed Emily’s folder on the table.

Maddie immediately reached for it.

“Ooh. Secret documents.”

“They’re color swatches.”

Natalie opened the folder carefully. “Soft Summer.” Then, she found the cosmetics list. “This is manageable.”

Samuel looked at the page. “It’s an entire language.”

“It’s foundation and concealer.”

“There are numbers. And letters.”

“Those are shades.”

“That doesn’t make it less confusing.”

Riley stood and picked up her shopping bags. “Then stop complaining and come with us.”

Maddie took Samuel by the wrist. “Shopping trip.”

“I haven’t eaten.”

“You can eat after you become beautiful.”

“I spent four hours becoming beautiful.”

Riley started walking. “Then this should be quick.”

It wasn’t.

The cosmetics store was bright enough to expose every imperfection Samuel had ever possessed. Product displays stretched from floor to ceiling, organized by brand, function, finish, shade, and several other categories no one had explained to him.

A sales associate approached.

“Can I help you find something?”

Samuel opened his mouth.

Riley handed her Emily’s list.

“She needs all of this.”

The associate smiled at Samantha. “We can definitely help with that.”

Samuel watched as his friends dispersed through the store with alarming confidence.

Natalie compared shades against the notes from the salon. Riley rejected two mascaras because their brushes were “useless.” Maddie returned carrying a glitter palette that did not appear anywhere on the list.

Maddie held it beside Samuel’s face. “Imagine the possibilities.”

“I’m trying not to.”

The associate matched foundation along his jaw, then tested concealer beneath one eye. Samuel sat beneath the lights while strangers passed, too aware of the smooth denim against his thighs and the employee’s hand near his face.

None of the customers seemed interested.

No one stared.

By the time they finished, the basket contained foundation, concealer, powder, mascara, blush, lipstick, brushes, a makeup sponge, cleanser, and several products Samuel suspected Maddie had added when no one was looking.

At the register, he removed a small bottle of glitter setting spray.

Maddie gasped. “Traitor.”

“You tried to hide it beneath the cotton pads.”

“It was a gift.”

“You were making me pay for it.”

“A gift to yourself.”

Samuel returned it to the display.

The total still made him wince.

Riley glanced at the screen. “Welcome to being a woman.”

“That’s not encouraging.”

“It wasn’t supposed to be.”

Clothing took even longer.

All three of them insisted Samantha needed “options.”

They moved from store to store, trying everything from casual tops and jeans to dresses Samantha had no conceivable reason to own. The girls treated the entire afternoon as one of the essential pleasures of being a girl.

To Samuel’s surprise, he began to understand why. He would never admit that to them. If any of his friends noticed he was enjoying himself, he would never hear the end of it.

By the end of the afternoon, the girls had convinced him to buy several pieces he was certain Samantha did not need. He drew the line at a plaid skirt after Maddie described it as “dangerously cute” and said it reminded her of Samantha’s schoolgirl era. By the time they left the store, all four of them carried bags.

“We’re done,” Samuel announced.

Maddie looked offended. “We haven’t even gone to Victoria’s Secret.”

Samuel nearly walked into a display sign.

“Why would we go there?”

Natalie lifted an eyebrow. “Because you need underwear that actually belongs to you.”

“I have underwear.”

“You have whatever we threw into that suitcase before graduation.”

“We gave you four pairs of panties none of us had ever worn and the bra you’re wearing right now.”

“It works.”

Maddie grinned. “Now you have to go.”

Victoria’s Secret smelled faintly of perfume and fabric softener.

Samuel stayed between Natalie and Maddie as though they were escorting him through hostile territory.

The first section was manageable. Simple cotton panties. Neutral colors. Nothing with unnecessary lace, bows, or words printed across the back.

Then Maddie found a bright pink pair.

“No.”

“You didn’t even see them.”

“I saw enough.”

Natalie handed him a package of black and beige underwear. “These are practical.”

“Thank you.”

Riley added a second package. “And these won’t show under lighter clothes.”

Samuel looked at the price. “Do they contain gold?”

“No. They contain fabric that won’t fall apart after three washes.”

A sales associate asked whether they needed help finding his bra size.

Samuel felt every muscle in his body tighten.

Natalie answered before he had to. “We’re okay, thanks.”

The woman smiled and moved on.

Samuel exhaled.

Maddie lowered her voice. “You know, you’ll need to buy bras too.”

“This one will work.”

“NO. You need more than one”

“Fine.”

The girls helped him choose several bras in the same size as the one he was already wearing. Samuel stared at the combination of numbers and letters on the tag as though it were some kind of code. Natalie gave him a brief explanation of how bra sizing worked, which somehow left him with more questions than before.

On the way, they passed the sleepwear section.

Satin robes hung beside slips and nightgowns in soft pinks, deep reds, and black. Samuel’s eyes moved over them before he could stop himself.

A black satin nightgown hung near the end of the rack.

Simple shape. Thin straps. A narrow line of lace around the neckline.

His stomach tightened. He forced himself to look away before any of the girls noticed.

“What?” Natalie asked.

“Nothing.”

She followed his gaze toward the sleepwear.

“Do you need pajamas?” Natalie asked with an amused smile.

Samuel gave her a look. They both knew Samantha had no reason to need sleepwear.

 

Riley looked at him, but before she could say anything, Maddie held up a satin robe covered in pale flowers.

“This would make Samantha look like a rich widow.”

Samuel stared at her.

“Why a widow?”

“I don’t know. It has energy.”

The moment passed.

He paid for the undergarments and left the store with his friends.

They stopped for drinks before saying goodbye.

The girls wanted to keep shopping, but Samuel reminded them that they had already been at the mall for nearly four hours.

In the parking lot, they gathered beside Natalie’s car.

“This was fun,” Maddie said, hugging Samuel again.

“It was expensive.”

“That’s how you know it was fun.”

Natalie smiled. “Text us when you get home.”

“I will.”

Riley looked at him for a moment longer than the others.

“Practice removing the makeup properly.”

“I have instructions.”

“That wasn’t what I said.”

“I’ll practice.”

“I know you don’t like spending any more time as Samantha than you have to,” Riley said. “But try not to make every second of it miserable.”

Samuel nodded, giving them a forced but sincere smile. “I’ll do my best.”

Samuel watched them climb into Natalie’s car. Maddie waved through the window as they pulled away.

For the first time since leaving the salon, he was alone.

The mall entrance stood behind him.

His own car was only three rows away.

He could go home.

He should go home.

Instead, he waited until Natalie’s car disappeared around the corner.

Then he turned and walked back inside.

The second visit to Victoria’s Secret felt completely different.

Without the girls beside him, every step seemed louder. Samuel went directly to the sleepwear section, afraid that hesitation would make him lose his nerve.

The black nightgown still hung where he had seen it.

He checked the size, lifted it from the rack, and carried it to the register folded over one arm.

The sales associate smiled as she scanned it.

“This one’s beautiful.”

Samuel forced himself to return the smile. “I’ve loved it since I saw it.”

She folded the satin into tissue paper and placed it inside a pink-striped bag.

Samuel paid, thanked her, and left before she could ask anything else.

No one stopped him.

No one cared.

Still, the secret bag felt heavier than all the others combined.

He stopped at the end of the driveway and checked for Lily’s car. It was gone.

Although the house appeared empty, he carried the bags upstairs carefully and locked his bedroom door. The cosmetics went into the suitcase. The new clothes followed. He removed Lily’s belt carefully, wiped an invisible mark from the buckle, and returned it to the same hook in her closet.

Only then did he take off the wig.

The relief was immediate.

He removed the makeup according to Emily’s instructions, washed his face twice, and changed back into his own clothes. By the time he finished, Samantha had disappeared into folded fabric and plastic shopping bags.

Almost.

The Victoria’s Secret bag remained on the bed.

Samuel took out the nightgown.

The satin slipped cool and smooth between his fingers. It looked smaller outside the store, less like clothing and more like evidence.

He folded it and placed it at the bottom of the suitcase.

The front door opened downstairs.

“Samuel?” Lily called.

He shoved the suitcase beneath the bed.

“Up here.”

A male voice answered something he could not understand.

Her boyfriend.

Samuel closed the closet, checked the room once, and sat at his desk as though he had been there all day.

A few minutes later, Lily knocked once before opening the door.

“You’re home.”

“Obviously.”

She looked past him toward the shopping bags. “Buy anything?”

Samuel’s pulse jumped.

“Just some stuff.”

“For your mysterious friends?”

“No.”

She narrowed her eyes, but her boyfriend called from downstairs.

“We ordered pizza,” she said. “Come down if you want some.”

“I will.”

Lily left.

Samuel waited until her footsteps disappeared before looking toward the suitcase beneath the bed.

His phone vibrated.

One message.

He already knew who it was from and hoped he was wrong. He wasn’t. His first thought was right.

Hey, Princess.

A second message appeared.

How was your salon appointment? Did you enjoy it?

Samuel stared at the screen.

Then another arrived.

I hope you’ve already bought what I asked for.

His eyes moved toward the suitcase.

He typed slowly.

Yes.

The reply came immediately.

Good girl.

His jaw tightened.

Put it on.

Samuel’s thumbs hovered over the keyboard.

Lily is home.

Three dots appeared.

Then lock the door.

Another message followed.

I only want one picture. Neckline and straps. Nothing else. I just want to make sure you have it on.

Samuel closed his eyes.

Downstairs, Lily laughed at something her boyfriend said. The television turned on. The house felt full again, but none of it made him feel safer.

He locked the bedroom door.

The nightgown was cool when he pulled it over his head. The satin settled against his body, lighter than he had expected. Thin straps rested on his shoulders, and the narrow lace trim lay across his chest.

He did not put on the wig.

He did not apply makeup.

He framed the photograph so his face remained outside it: only the black satin, one strap, and the edge of lace.

His finger rested above the screen.

Then he pressed Send.

A moment later, the reply appeared.

Perfect. Have a good night!

Samuel lowered the phone.

From downstairs, Lily called that the pizza was getting cold.

He removed the nightgown, folded it, and hid it beneath the rest of Samantha’s clothes.

Then he unlocked the door and went down to dinner.