A TURN OF THE MOON
by
Jessica Drew

Day Fifteen
Susie with an S

“Okay, Mountain pose,” Lauren said, taking a long, slow breath. “Stand tall, feet shoulder-width apart.”

I glanced across at Lauren as we stood side by side on the back porch. She wore her black and pink gym leggings and matching crop top that left her toned midriff bare. She gazed straight ahead, but caught me looking and turned her head.

“Look straight ahead!” she said, with just a hint of irritation. “See the mountain?”

I turned to look back across the lake. The rising sun broke through the clouds, bathing the sky in a golden glow. A flock of geese gently honked as they flew above us, and beyond it all, I could make out the peaks of the grey mountains on the horizon.

“Yes,” I said, breathing in through my nose.

“Now be the mountain,” Lauren said.

“Isn’t this pose just standing? I mean you’d think—“

“Scott,” Lauren interrupted, a crease forming in her brow, “the Mountain doesn’t talk!”

“Oh, right…” I drew my lips in to physically stop myself from saying anything more.

“Warrior Two,” Lauren announced, and her body moved fluidly into the next position. I could see the faint ripple in musculature across her bared arms and stomach.

I wasn’t quite so elegant. I had to stop and reorient myself before attempting the next pose. I bent my left leg and stretched my right leg out behind me. I felt my borrowed teal and black gym leggings stretch against my hips and legs. I angled one arm horizontally in front and twisted my body to bring my other arm straight back. I was grateful for the matching lycra top I wore which allowed for a greater freedom of movement. Plus, it did a pretty good job at holding everything in place…

“Good,” Lauren said at my side. She broke from her own pose to help me, placing her hands on the bare skin at my waist to turn me a little more. I stared at her for a moment, feeling the warmth in her hands. Lauren continued to look down at my body, checking my positioning. “That’s better. Hold that.” Her eyes flicked back up to mine for a second before getting herself back into position.

“And finish with the Goddess,” Lauren said, bending her knees and turning her legs outward until they seemed to sit at near right angles to her body.

“Shut up! It’s not called the Goddess! You’re just trying to—“

“Scott,” Lauren interrupted, still looking straight ahead. “The Goddess doesn’t talk either.”

“She doesn’t?”

“Uh-uh.”

I murmured a little to myself, wondering how I’d ever manage to get myself into a position like that. I angled my legs outward and began to bend at the knees. Oh, wait… here we go! My legs splayed outward as I crouched down, my leggings pulling taut across the smoothness of my crotch.

“Hold… one… two… three… and breathe,” Lauren said, crossing her palms across her chest.

I closed my eyes, letting myself feel the warmth of the sun on my face and the gentle breeze against my skin.

“Okay, that’s enough for today,” Lauren said, just as I was starting to feel myself relax into it. I stepped awkwardly back into a standing position, my hands on my hips. “We might have to start doing this separately if you’re going to insist on being a chatty Cathy!” Lauren teased, shaking her arms and legs out. I looked away for a moment, feeling my cheeks flush. “I feel like I need to get back in the gym though,” she said, tapping her bared abdomen. “I just feel kind of ‘bleh’ from not exercising enough…” She looked at me for a moment. “Maybe we could go together?”

“Uh, I think I’ll stick to stretching. Maybe another run,” I said. “But don’t let me stop you!”

Lauren touched my arm and smiled, then moved past me to go back into the house. I remained for a moment, looking across the shimmering lake to the house on the far side. I tugged on the hem of my sports top. I couldn’t see the builders or their truck today. It was just as well. I wasn’t sure I’d feel comfortable stretching out on the porch, knowing those two men were over there.

* * * * *

Lauren and I sat out on the back porch, each sipping from a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice. I set my glass down on the table between us and leaned forward to pull my hairband free. I shook out my blonde hair so it fell loose over my shoulders. It felt greasy as I’d not washed it for a few days. I looked over at Lauren, watching as she swiped down on her phone to refresh her emails.

“You’re going to be doing that all day, aren’t you?” I said, smiling.

Lauren sighed. “At least yesterday I was actually doing something and felt in control, you know?”

“Riverside said they’d let you know quickly, but I don’t think they meant nine-thirty in the morning!” I said.

“I know… it’s just… uhh…” Lauren tossed her phone onto the table.

Suddenly, it lit up, buzzing loudly against the wooden surface.

“Shit, shit!” Lauren said, scrabbling to pick it up. She looked down at the screen. “Oh, it’s Emma.” Her shoulders dropped.

“Hey Ems…” Lauren answered. “Yeah, good. You?” As they started to speak, I found myself smiling. Emma was loud enough that I could almost hear her side of the conversation. I uncrossed my legs and stood up to give them a moment, taking my juice back inside.

I grabbed my own phone from the kitchen counter. I paused for a moment, listening to see if the laundry we’d put on first thing had finished, but I could still hear the low rumble of the machine from the utility room. Instead, I padded barefoot over to the lounge. I let myself fall lengthways across the arm of the sofa, lying on my back and holding my phone above me. The facial ID recognised me instantly and unlocked the screen. My eyes drifted straight away to the unread message notification.

It was from Doctor Hartwell.

“Hello Scott. I’d like to see you. Can you come to the clinic tomorrow?”

My heartbeat began to race and I slid round to sit upright, staring down at the message. I started typing a reply before I even had a chance to process it.

“Yes, I can come in. Is there news??”

Before I hit send, I found myself looking over at Lauren, still talking to Emma on the phone outside. She walked slowly up and down the length of the porch, smiling and laughing. I looked back down and quickly amended what I had written.

“Let me check with Lauren. Is there news?”

I hit send.

I flopped back against the sofa cushion, wondering what it all meant. Had she found something? Was there progress? It felt so soon. I took a breath to steady myself. Stop doing this to yourself, just wait and see what she says. The ’Hartwell is typing’ message seemed to hang on the screen for an age. Finally, her reply flashed on the screen.

“Nothing definite yet. But there are some things I’d prefer to discuss face to face. Ideally with you alone, if you’re comfortable with that.”

Alone. I watched Lauren again through the tall windows at the rear of the house. I fought the overwhelming urge to reply straight away and instead leaned forward, setting my phone face down on the coffee table.

* * * * *

“We need to talk,” I said, almost pouncing on Lauren as she came back into the house.

“Woah, easy — we were only apart for five minutes and suddenly we need to talk? What happened?” Lauren laughed.

“I’m serious,” I said, taking her by the hand and leading her over to the sofa. We sat down together.

Lauren’s eyes scanned my face. “I swear, if this is one of those conversations that starts with ‘don’t freak out, but’…”

“No… I mean… listen. I got a message from Doctor Hartwell,” I began.

Lauren gripped my knee. “What did she say?” I realised we were both more invested in Hartwell’s progress than we had let on.

“It’s not that news… She just wants to see me. Tomorrow,” I said, chewing on my bottom lip.

“For more tests?” Lauren asked, looking concerned.

“No... At least, I don’t think so. She just said she wanted to discuss a few things.”

“Oh, well… I guess that’s okay. We’ve got nothing on, and provided I don’t hear from—“

“Alone,” I added, bracing myself.

“Oh.”

I slid both my hands into Lauren’s, feeling the warmth of her palms. “Lauren… I need to be able to do some things on my own,” I said, looking down for a moment. “I already feel trapped enough in this body…”

“I... I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel like that,” Lauren said. She took a moment, her face tightening as if trying to hold her emotions in check. “But, Scott... everything we do has to be built on trust. That’s non-negotiable, and it has nothing to do with being a man or being a woman. That’s the promise we made to each other on our wedding day.” I noticed Lauren’s eyes dip to my neck, looking for my ring necklace, but I had taken it off for our yoga. “You went off to see Henry yesterday, without telling me where you were going, or who you were talking to... You shut me out. And that scares me.”

“I know... That was wrong... I think I just wanted a moment... where I could still feel like Scott,” I said, looking down at our clasped hands.

“You mean you don’t still feel like Scott with me?” I could see the heartbreak in Lauren’s glistening eyes.

“Of course I do,” I said quietly. “But... it is different now, isn’t it? I mean that’s the first thing you said when we got home from the hospital.”

“I did?”

I nodded. “It’s not just with you. It was different with Henry as well... I think that’s partly why I got so upset. I was reaching for something. Something that doesn’t exist anymore.”

Lauren released my hands and patted her thighs. “Right, here’s what we’ll do. Tomorrow we’ll do something nice... just the two of us, like we used to.”

“Okay?” I said, with a flicker of a smile.

“We could go to the cinema — see that new movie you wanted to see. Then after, a nice meal maybe?”

“I’d love that,” I said, absently touching the bare skin at my waist. “And Hartwell?”

“Well, she’s not coming,” Lauren said.

I blinked. “You know what I mean.”

Lauren smiled, then took a deep breath and nodded. “Yes… you can go and see Hartwell in the morning.”

“Thanks, Lauren,” I said as I picked up my phone from the coffee table to message Doctor Hartwell back.

* * * * *

I walked into the bedroom with a bath towel wrapped around my body and a smaller towel wrapped around my hair. Lauren lay on the bed, still in her gym clothes. She scrolled on her phone, probably still checking for messages from Riverside. I sat down next to her on the bed, crossing one leg over the other, then reached for the moisturiser on my bedside table.

“Anything y—”

“Nooo!” Lauren whined, flopping her head back against the pillow.

“Sorry!” I poured some cream into my palm and began to rub it into my freshly shaved leg. I looked back at her. “So, what did Emma have to say for herself?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

“She had the day off today and asked if we wanted to meet up,” she said, still staring at her phone.

“Oh, what did you say?” I asked, switching legs and beginning to rub some more cream into my upper thigh.

“I told her I was waiting on the Riverside call, so...”

“Lauren, you don’t even know if you’ll hear today. It could be tomorrow... it could be after the weekend,” I said. “What, you’re just going to stay inside waiting for the phone to ring till then?”

Lauren finally set her phone aside to look at me. “I just don’t want to miss it.”

“I know. But they’re not going to take the contract away just because you miss a phone call, are they?” I popped the cap back on the tube and set it down. I pulled the towel from my head, rubbing at sections of my blonde hair.

“I guess not.” Lauren sighed as she watched me.

“Why don’t we meet up with Emma for coffee? It’ll help take your mind off things,” I said. “Then, if you get the call, you can take it while we’re there.”

Lauren thought about it for a moment, then nodded and began to smile. “Alright,” she said, picking up her phone again.

* * * * *

By the time Lauren came back from her shower, I’d finished drying and brushing my hair and was now busy laying clothes out across the bed.

“Do you know what you’re going to wear today?” Lauren asked, standing beside me in her bathrobe.

“Well, I think I want to wear one of my new skirts...” I said, letting my fingers lightly graze the fabric of the pink one.

“No leggings today?” Lauren teased.

“Uh-uh. I’m not wearing them out anymore. Not after the whole world seems to think it’s okay to comment on my underwear.”

“How about wearing your new cream top with it?” Lauren suggested, picking it up and placing it next to the skirt. She was right — they went together nicely.

“It’s sleeveless,” I said, noticing the shoulders.

“It’s a nice day.” Lauren shrugged.

I put the rest of my things away, leaving just the top and skirt. I went over to my underwear drawer, pulling out the matching floral-patterned ivory panties and bra set that I’d worn a few times now.

“Wait a second,” Lauren said, tightening the belt of her bathrobe. “How come those are in your drawer?”

“Oh, I must have just put them in there by mistake,” I said innocently.

“I’ve lost those now, haven’t I?” Lauren said, shaking her head.

“Yep!” I laughed, as I untied the knot in my towel, letting it fall to the floor. As I held out the ivory panties and stepped into them, I noticed Lauren’s gaze drop for a moment. She quickly turned away to sit at the vanity table. Maybe she’d noticed that I’d done a little tidying up down there with the razor.

The panties settled against my body as I pulled the waistband above my hips. I reached behind me, smoothing the leg openings with my fingers. I took the bra, slipping my arms through the straps and leaning forward to catch my boobs in the cups. I fastened it at the back and used the full-length mirror to straighten everything out. I checked myself in profile, and then again over my shoulder.

“That’s so unfair,” Lauren said, looking back at me.

“What is?” I asked, turning from the mirror.

“How you get a butt like that without even trying,” Lauren said, as she began to brush her brunette hair through. “I literally have to work my ass off in the gym for mine.”

“Oh... err...” I felt my cheeks warm as I looked down, smoothing my hands over the sides of my panties.

“Well, it definitely deserves those panties anyway,” Lauren said, seeming sincere about it.

“Uh, thanks,” I said quietly, turning back to the mirror. I picked up my new cream sleeveless top. It looked halfway between a t-shirt and a vest. Turning it the right way round, I slipped my arms through, then pulled it over my head. I tugged the hem down, letting the fabric settle across the contours of my body. With my shoulders now exposed, I reached up to adjust my bra straps, making sure they weren’t visible.

I picked up the pink skirt. It was plain and unadorned, about the same length as the one I’d borrowed from Lauren the other day. I unzipped it at the side, then held it low and stepped into it. Pulling it up, I felt the fabric brush against my freshly shaved legs. I remembered to pull it high up to my middle, then zipped and fastened it, running my fingers around to tuck my top into the waistband.

“It looks cute on you!” Lauren said, smiling from the vanity.

“Really?” I asked as I checked myself in the mirror. As I turned my waist, my skirt flared a little at my thighs. The cream top was fitted to my body, following the outer curve of my boobs and my narrower waist. I had preferred the look of having my top tucked into my skirt the other day, so I’d done the same again today. The skirt fell over my hips and ended above the knee. I smoothed it at the back then sat on the edge of the bed close to Lauren. I crossed my legs and tugged on the hem of the skirt to stop it sliding up my thigh.

While Lauren got ready, I decided to book our cinema tickets for tomorrow. I used the app on my phone so I could collect the reward points, wondering whether this could be something we started doing regularly again.

“All done,” I said, and I could feel the excitement in my voice. I was actually looking forward to something.

“Great, honey,” Lauren said as she leaned in close to the vanity mirror to apply her mascara. I found myself watching how she did it, after my own fumbling efforts yesterday. She seemed to notice me watching out of the corner of her eye. “So, wipe the excess off the wand first. That helps to stop it clumping. Then tilt your head back a little, keep the wand horizontal...” Lauren demonstrated, bringing it to her lashes. “Wiggle it a little at the roots, then sweep out... like that. Want to try?”

“I, uh... okay, yes,” I stammered, wondering if my interest had really been that obvious.

Lauren got up from the vanity, still holding the wand as she tapped the stool with her free hand. “Your turn!”

I slid over from the bed to the stool, meeting my reflection in the vanity mirror. After wearing mascara yesterday, I noticed the difference. Without it, my eyes looked plain and small on my face. I just felt a little… dissatisfied. I grabbed a hair grip from the table and loosely clipped my hair back so it was out of the way.

“You might want to start with your… oh,” Lauren stopped herself as she saw me already reaching for my concealer tube. I dabbed a little onto my finger and rubbed under each eye. I popped the cap back on the tube, then took the mascara wand from Lauren.

“You know we shouldn’t really be sharing makeup like this,” Lauren said, as I angled my head back a little, looking down my nose into the mirror. “We’ll both end up with pinkeye or something!”

“Don’t make me laugh,” I said, smiling and trying to hold the brush steady. I began to lightly work the brush out through my lashes.

“That’s it, just go lightly,” Lauren said as she watched me. “It’s easier to build up than to take away.”

I managed the upper lashes okay, but I didn’t fare quite so well with my sparser lower lashes, getting a blob just below my right eye.

“Don’t rub at it… here…” Lauren leaned across the vanity, grabbing a Q-tip from a plastic container. She dipped it in a little makeup remover and handed it to me. I carefully dabbed at the dark smudge.

“You’ll need to just touch up your concealer too,” she said.

“Uhh, it’s so annoying,” I huffed, as I reapplied a little more cream under my eye.

“Welcome to the world of makeup,” Lauren said, smiling.

After a few more flicks of the brush, I leaned back to take in the finished effect. It was certainly a lot more polished than yesterday’s attempt. I blinked my eyes a couple of times in the mirror, then screwed the top back on the mascara.

“We can pick you one up in town if you like?” Lauren said, reaching down to slide my bra strap back into place from where it had slipped from my shoulder.

“Yeah. Okay,” I said, glancing back at her. I reached behind my head to pull my hair grip free, smoothing my hair back over my shoulders. Lauren moved around me and reached over to my bedside table. Without saying anything, she took my wedding ring necklace and came up behind me, helping to hang it around my neck. I swept my blonde hair forwards, feeling the brush of her fingers at the nape of my neck as she fastened the chain. Her hand lingered, sliding from my neck to my shoulder. I caught her glance in the mirror for a moment, then looked back down at the vanity table.

I picked up my tinted lip balm, twisting the base. I ran it lightly across my lips, then drew them together to even out the colour. I checked myself in the mirror. Between the pink tint of my lips and the definition of my lashes, I looked just a bit more with it.

More awake.

* * * * *

We crouched together on the porch, loading the drying rack with the damp clothing from the laundry basket. I felt a small twinge of protest in my thighs from Lauren’s Goddess pose earlier. Grabbing a pair of my new panties, I carefully laid them across the lowest rung. Lauren held my nude-coloured bra and draped it over. Between our underwear, tops, leggings and skirts, there seemed to be less room for everything.

“We might need another one of these soon,” I joked, looking over the top of the rack at Lauren.

“Yeah, especially if you’re going to be wearing skirts and dresses now,” Lauren said. “They take up the most space.”

Dresses? I didn’t even own a dress. As we rose together, my gaze drifted to the one that Lauren wore. It was a nice sage colour, sleeveless, with a thin brown belt around her middle.

“I said we’d meet Emma at Gabriella’s again,” Lauren said, shaking out the blouse she had worn for her Riverside presentation.

“Oh, perfect,” I replied. I was happy with that. I was starting to feel comfortable there. And Gabriella was lovely too.

We went back inside and I slid the glass door shut. We walked over to the kitchen counter together and did a routine check of our purses, making sure we had everything we needed.

“Do you need any more tissues?” Lauren asked, reaching into her bag. “I picked up an extra packet the other day.”

“Oh, thanks,” I said, taking it from her and slipping it into my navy purse.

Lauren pulled out a perfume bottle and I watched her as she spritzed it lightly at her neck, then again on one of her wrists. She put the bottle back in her purse, then rubbed one wrist against the other. I reached into my own bag, finding the small bottle Lauren had bought for me in the city yesterday. I gazed down at the pale liquid, then shook the bottle.

“You don’t need to shake it!” Lauren said, smiling.

“Right!” I felt myself blush a little at the mistake. I pulled the cap off and gave a couple of light sprays to my neck. The subtle floral fragrance surrounded me, and I breathed in to savour it. I opened my eyes, seeing that Lauren was watching me. “What?” I nudged her with my elbow.

“Nothing!” Lauren said, smiling and touching my arm. “Come on, we need to get going. I’ll drive.” She turned away and I waited for a moment. I quickly spritzed the perfume on one of my wrists, then rubbed it against the other.

* * * * *

By the time we parked up and reached Gabriella’s, we’d hit the lunchtime rush. Lauren opened the door, the bell chiming, but barely heard over the chattering conversations.

“Oh wow,” I said, gripping the strap of my purse as we filed in and immediately joined the back of a line stretching from the counter almost to the door. All of the tables were taken and people seemed to be lining up for takeout only. A couple of women excused themselves as they squeezed past us with their takeout cups. Lauren held the door open for them.

“It’s okay, we’ll just grab some drinks and head to the park,” Lauren said, hovering close to me, tall in her wedge-heeled sandals.

I leaned to one side, catching a glimpse of Gabriella, who was rushing back and forth between the counter and the coffee machine.

“No more lemon cake!” she called loudly across the café. “If you want lemon cake, you’re too late!” She still found a way to smile despite the stress she must have been under trying to serve everyone. One woman seemed to be really banking on that lemon cake, as she left the queue, looking disappointed. We moved up one space.

“Hey girls!” We turned at the sound of Emma’s voice as she walked in behind us. She had a huge grin on her face as she hugged Lauren and kissed her cheek.

“Hey Ems,” Lauren smiled, touching her arm affectionately.

“Hey cuz!” Emma said, teasingly, as she hugged me next. I found myself leaning in and squeezing her back just as tightly. We lightly kissed each other’s cheek. “Oh, you smell nice!” she said, seeming surprised.

“Uh, thanks,” I said, stroking a hand through my hair.

Emma looked up at me. Her eyes scanned my face and she grinned again, noticing my makeup. At least, I guessed that was what she was responding to. Why was it women seemed to notice everything?

Emma’s own makeup was bold and expressive. She had the same glossy pink lips as the other day, but I noticed her mascara was heavier than mine or Lauren’s, and she seemed to be wearing eyeliner too. Her cheeks had a subtle pink blush to them, and she smelled amazing. She had on a navy dress with a cream-and-pink floral pattern. It wrapped around at the front and the neckline plunged. Emma seemed to have no qualms about displaying her… assets.

“I hope we don’t have to wait too long!” Emma said, standing on tiptoes, but not able to see very much. Instead she just raised her voice. “Hurry up, Gabby!” She laughed. A few people in the line glanced round, smiling at her comment.

“Shh!” Lauren hushed, smirking a little herself. “Poor woman, the last thing she needs is you shouting at her.”

“Hey, is that you, Emma?” Gabriella called, peering over from the counter. “No cake for you! Okay, who’s next.”

Emma made a play of pouting and planting her hands on her wide hips, though she quickly broke character. “So, how are you both? Oh, Laur, have you heard anything from Riverside yet?”

“Don’t ask her that!” I said, sighing as I folded my arms across my chest. Lauren immediately reached into her purse to find her phone. “She won’t go five minutes without checking!”

“She gets like this,” Emma said. “Oh, but I don’t have to tell you, you’re married to her!” For a moment it had seemed like she’d forgotten. I found myself glancing around, but either no one had heard, or no one cared.

“Can you two stop talking about me like I’m not here!” Lauren said, exhaling as she dropped her phone back into her bag.

We finally found ourselves at the front of the line. Emma placed our orders while I scanned the tables, waiting to see if anyone looked like they were about to leave.

“How are you my dears? Sorry, there’s no tables today,” Gabriella sighed, looking weary as she rubbed her hands against her apron.

“It’s okay, Gabriella,” Lauren said warmly. “More to the point, how are you?”

“Tired,” she said, but her face creased as she broke into a soft chuckle. She went over, setting a couple of takeout cups under the coffee machine, while she put a teabag in another cup for Emma.

I leaned forward a little with my elbows against the counter. “Hi Gabriella!” I said, my voice coming out high and cheery.

“Signorina Susie!” Gabriella beamed and came back over to the counter. She reached out to cup my cheek with her hand. “Doesn’t she have the best smile?” she asked Lauren.

“Yes… she does,” Lauren said, tucking a strand of her brunette hair back behind her ear. I glanced at her and could see her blush a little.

“You know, if it gets too busy, you could always just hide the Colombian beans. I swear they’re addictive!” I said, smiling at Gabriella.

“Coffee is addictive, cuz!” Emma laughed and shook her head.

“Haha, yeah,” I laughed.

“Maybe I serve water. Then maybe I go out of business!” Gabriella chuckled.

Emma reached into her purse to pay. The bell above the door chimed and Lauren and I turned, watching as two men entered in mid-conversation.

“I told you, you should have ordered the paint in advance.”

“It’s just white paint… how can they run out of white paint?”

“It’s not white, it’s White Dove.”

The men shuffled past the tables, coming up to the counter behind us. The first man stopped, a broad grin forming as he looked at us both. “Well, hello ladies!” He was tall. They both were. Broad-shouldered, in t-shirts that seemed a size too small for them. They both wore jeans that were stained from years of manual labour with paint, grease and who knew what else. “So which one of you’s holding up the line? Let me guess, trying to decide on what brand of soy milk to order?” He turned back to his friend, chuckling.

Emma turned from the counter. “Oh, hey Dale!”

“Emma? Sorry, love, I didn’t see you there.” The man’s face was weathered, his hair shaved short and stubble flecked with the first hint of grey. “Well? Aren’t you going to introduce us to your two lovely friends?”

“Well, I don’t know about that,” Emma teased, grinning at him. “Maybe I want to keep you to myself?”

Lauren glanced at me, rolling her eyes.

“You know I’ve only got eyes for you my darlin’”, Dale said, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he took a step forward. He squinted at the menu on the chalkboard behind the counter. As he got closer I could detect his scent, a musty earthiness that made me think of sweat and hard work.

“These are my besties, so you better be nice to them,” Emma said. “This is Lauren… and this is her cousin, Susie!” I groaned inwardly, closing my eyes for a second. As I opened them and looked back up at Dale, it became clear he didn’t just have eyes for Emma.

His eyeline dipped down, sweeping across — not just my chest —but Lauren’s too. I felt the hairs go up on the back of my neck, and my cheeks must have turned bright red. I automatically crossed an arm to hug at my opposite shoulder. Lauren shifted too, pulling her purse round in front of her body. He wasn’t even being subtle about it. “Pleasure to meet you girls,” he said, offering his hand. “I’m Dale, and this is Jack.” Dale’s hand seemed huge as he lightly shook, first mine, then Lauren’s hand. He stepped to one side, and I looked up at his friend.

Oh, shit! It was the man I’d seen the other day, working at the house across the lake! More to the point, he’d seen me!

“Hey…” he said, shaking my hand. He had longer, messy brown hair, but was clean-shaven, as if he’d only had time to attend to one of those. As he looked at me, his smile faltered, replaced with something else. Recognition. “Wait, haven’t I seen you somewhere before?”

“No!” I said too quickly. I turned back to the counter and drummed my fingers impatiently. I watched as Gabriella wrote on our cups with a black marker pen, slowly and carefully. Hurry up!

“So, are you boys off to work up a sweat again today?” Emma said, brushing past Lauren to stand in front of Dale.

“Haha, you missed all the action, hun,” Dale said. “The house is almost finished now.”

I glanced back at Lauren and could see the penny drop on her face. “Wait, you’re the two guys who’ve been making all that racket across the lake?” she said, placing her hands on her hips.

Jack snapped his fingers. “Dale, that couple that lives on the opposite side of the lake!”

“Oh, right… yeah,” Dale said. “So, which one of you’s the wife?”

I looked at Lauren for a second. “I am,” she said at last.

“Well, Jack here keeps getting worried that your husband’s gonna come round and complain,” Dale said.

“Well, some days we thought about it,” Lauren said, glancing at me.

“Well, the noisy stuff is finished now,” Jack said. “We’re just finishing off the interior.”

“So, if you were hoping for us to work up a sweat for you, you’ll have to think of some other way,” Dale said, winking down at Emma.

“Oh, I’m sure I could think of something!” Emma giggled.

“Your drinks, ladies!” Gabriella slid our takeout cups towards us across the counter. “Now come on,” she said, clapping her hands twice. “This isn’t a discoteca! You can all take your hormones outside!”

I folded my arms across my chest. I wasn’t sure how I’d been lumped in with all of this. Or Lauren, for that matter. I quickly grabbed the takeout cups, handing one out to each of us.

“Surely you don’t mean me,” Jack said, as the pair of them slipped past us to stand at the counter. “You know I only come here to see the beautiful Gabriella!”

“Flattery will get you nowhere. And it certainly doesn’t get you cake!” Gabriella said, but her tired face seemed to brighten and her smile looked genuine.

* * * * *

We stepped out of Gabriella’s and onto the sidewalk. I could feel the sun against my shoulders, and there was a pleasing breeze that played about my bare legs, making me thankful I’d chosen to wear a skirt over leggings.

We made our way through the pedestrianised centre of town, walking three abreast, our shoes tapping and clicking, skirts swaying and purses bouncing off our hips. We were catching glances from people we walked past, but I was starting to get more used to it. It felt very different to the scrutiny I’d felt with Dale and Jack. I felt safer being with the other girls, anyway. The other girls? Was I happy that I was blending in?

“Why didn’t you tell us you knew the guys working on the house?” Lauren asked as we walked.

“I didn’t know!” Emma said.

“No. But I bet you know if they’re single!” Lauren glanced across.

“Of course.” Emma grinned.

“You’re incorrigible!” Lauren laughed.

We turned, heading towards the side path that led to the park. I took hurried steps to avoid cutting across anyone. I kept my palm on the lid of my coffee cup, being careful not to spill any. We walked single file, the tall buildings either side of us providing some respite from the sun.

I reached the park gate first, swinging open the low gate and holding it for Lauren and Emma.

“Thanks, hon.” Lauren smiled.

“Thanks, cuz!” Emma teasingly placed her tongue between her teeth.

We allowed ourselves to walk more slowly under the boughs of the overhanging trees on the main pathway. The grass looked vibrant and green in the sun, and few people were sitting out, enjoying a sandwich or coffee on their lunch break.

“I’m not sure there are any free benches,” I said as I turned, my eyes scanning the park. I moved my hot coffee cup to my other hand, my eyes settling on one of the benches. It was the same one I’d sat on a few days back when Doctor Hartwell had first approached me.

Hartwell. That one meeting had led to me spending the following morning at her clinic. That was when we’d learned more about my body. And what it might be capable of.

Today the bench was occupied. There was a teenage boy sat at one end, wearing headphones and looking like he was playing a game on his phone. “There might be room for us there?” I shrugged.

“And have an unwashed teenage boy staring at my tits? No thanks!” Emma said.

“You didn’t seem to mind when Dale was doing it,” Lauren said.

“That’s different. Dale’s a man,” Emma said. She touched my arm for a moment. “I’ve got an idea,” she whispered. “Wait here.”

Lauren and I waited on the path as Emma went on ahead towards the bench. The boy looked up at her, slipping off his headphones as Emma started to say something to him.

“What’s she saying?” I asked.

“I have no idea...” Lauren replied, but she had an amused smile on her face.

Emma pointed over at us as she talked, and the boy glanced over, then immediately nodded and got up. He turned and headed off down the path in the opposite direction.

We walked over to the bench, where Emma was now sitting alone with a satisfied grin on her face.

“What did you say to him?” I asked as I smoothed the back of my pink skirt and sat down next to her. Lauren sat down the other side of me.

“Oh, I said you’d just found out you were pregnant and needed to sit down!”

My eyes widened and I dipped my head, my cheeks burning.

“Ems!” Lauren leaned forward to look past me, casting Emma a steely look.

“What? It worked didn’t it!” Emma giggled and patted my knee.

We settled into our seats. I took a deep breath and crossed my legs, tugging on the hem of my pink skirt. I felt glad to be away from the busyness of the town. And Gabriella’s. I’d just started to feel comfortable there, but something about today’s experience had shaken me up more than I realised.

I glanced down at my coffee cup, turning it around in my hands. It had the name “Loren” written in black marker across the side.

“Oh, I got yours,” I said, offering it to Lauren, though a smile crept across my face. “Loren!” I said, imitating Gabriella’s tone.

“Hey, that was a pretty good impression!” Emma laughed.

“Yeah, you’re getting a bit too good at those!” Lauren said.

I smiled, then cleared my throat. “No lemon cake!” I said, playfully.

Lauren and Emma creased up laughing. Lauren wiped at her eye and we swapped our cups over. I held mine up, seeing the name ‘Susie’ written across the side.

“Everything okay?” Emma asked, sipping at her tea.

“Yeah… I guess I’d kind of assumed Susie was spelled with a ‘Z’,” I said, turning the cup in my hands.

“Nope. You’re officially Susie with an ‘S’!” Emma declared. I cradled the cup in my lap for a moment, forgetting to drink any. I could feel Lauren looking at me from the corner of my eye.

“Why do you always go for idiots like that anyway, Ems?” Lauren said at last, looking past me as she took a sip from her own cup.

“Like what, Chip and Dale?” Emma said.

I nearly spat my drink. “The rescue rangers!” I laughed.

“Laur, it’s not like I wanna marry him!” Emma said, giggling. “But I wouldn’t say no to jumping his bones!”

“Uh,” Lauren sighed, gazing at the branches above us as they swayed gently in the breeze.

“Did you see the size of his hands?” Emma fluttered her eyelashes playfully.

“That doesn’t necessarily mean what you think it means,” I found myself saying.

“What were Scott’s hands like Laur?” Emma peered over, with a look of mischief.

“I had no complaints about the size of Scott’s hands, thank you,” she said plainly. I felt Lauren’s hand slip into mine, squeezing gently. I could feel the reassurance of it, but as I looked down at my lap, all I could see was a smaller feminine hand clasping my wife’s hand. My gaze drifted back to the name written on my cup.

“Anyway, it’s alright for you two,” Emma said. “You’re married and can have sex whenever you feel like it. I have to take what I can get!”

I glanced at Lauren, but she kept her gaze focused on our hands. She looked sad for a moment as she rubbed her thumb against the back of my hand. I swallowed and took a breath.

Suddenly, there was a chime from Lauren’s bag that made us jump. She quickly let go of my hand and reached into her purse for her phone. She gazed at the screen, then looked back up at me.

“It’s Riverside!” she said, her voice tremoring.

* * * * *

Emma and I sat on the park bench while Lauren paced further on up the path, talking intently on her phone.

“I think she got it,” Emma said as we watched.

“Yeah. She did,” I said, smiling broadly. I knew my wife. I could see the genuine excitement on her face, even from here. And she was talking quickly, as if all her future ideas were spilling out of her.

“So, how are you?” Emma asked, shifting her body towards me. She smoothed a hand across her navy floral-print dress. “And this isn’t one of those fake ‘how are yous’ that everyone says. This is a real one.”

That one simple question seemed to take me by surprise, and I felt my eyes moisten a little. “Oh, you know, still just drifting down that river!” I shrugged and looked away, twirling a strand of my hair.

“So, like, totally out of control then?” Emma asked, her eyes softening. “Sounds rough, cuz.”

“No… I mean, that’s the thing. I feel like I am more in control now. And I’ve been making all these choices. All these decisions…” I took a breath, gazing down at my lap. “And… all it’s got me is a pink skirt, and a cup with the wrong name on it.” I swept my hand across my skirt and glanced back at Emma.

“Look… I talked to Rachel the other day,” Emma said. “And she’s interested in this case. I mean, really interested.”

“She is?”

Emma nodded. “Yeah. I mean, after she chewed me out for about twenty minutes for making stuff up and wasting her time.” She took a sip of her tea. “I did kind of blurt out, ‘Lauren’s husband got turned into a woman and needs your help!’”

I laughed with her. But that was essentially the core of it. And it did sound absurd.

“So, what’s next?” I gazed back over to Lauren. She seemed to mostly be listening now to whatever Riverside had to say. I smiled as she did that thing where she nodded even though the person on the other end couldn’t see her.

“Well, she wants to meet you both. She just got finished on another case, so she has a window,” Emma said.

“I think she’s gonna need a pretty big window,” I said, sighing.

“Maybe…” Emma reached into her purse for her phone. “Okay, when’s good for you both?”

“Oh, well… uh, I mean we’re busy tomorrow, but…”

“You are?” Emma looked surprised. “Never mind, we’ll get into that later. How about Saturday?” She was already starting to tap on her phone. I noticed how she had to angle her thumbs because of her longer pink nails.

“Yeah, I guess that would be okay… I better check if—“

“Done!” Emma said, and her phone made a whooshing sound as she sent her message. “I told her we could all have lunch at yours.”

“Oh… that was nice of us,” I said, raising an eyebrow.

We looked up together as Lauren hurried over towards us, her sage dress bouncing at her thighs. “I got it, I got it!”

“Oh my god!” Emma rose to her feet.

“Yes! I knew you’d do it!” I jumped up and the three of us fell into a hug.

* * * * *

It was hard to keep up with Lauren as she marched down the street. Emma and I looked at each other as we took hurried steps behind her.

“So, I’d like to get a couple more suits… I’ll need some shoes… maybe I’ll treat myself to that new perfume I’ve had my eye on—“

“Wait up, Laur, you know I’ve only got little legs!” Emma said, holding one hand at her chest to keep her boobs from jumping too much.

We came back out onto the pedestrian mall, and Lauren headed in the direction of one of the department stores. Somehow her infectious excitement about landing the Riverside contract had turned into a shopping trip, and even Emma was struggling to keep up with her energy.

Lauren paused to look behind her, watching us hurrying along. “Sorry, girls… I just… I can’t believe it.” Emma and I glanced at each other for a moment.

“Well, we can, right cuz?” Emma said.

“Absolutely!” I smiled, adjusting my purse strap.

Lauren walked more slowly now as we got caught up in the streams of people walking back and forth between the stores.

“I mean… maybe I can believe it,” Lauren said, as we walked on either side of her now. “I found myself visualising it, you know? Even when I was in their boardroom yesterday, I was trying to trick my body into believing I’d already got it.” I smiled up at her and touched her arm. “We won’t have to worry about money now, either!” she said, putting her arm around me and leaning in, planting an over-the-top mwah on my cheek. I was a little taken aback and found myself glancing around, but no one paid us any attention. Well, any more attention. “We can pay for Rachel’s legal fees now and—“

Lauren stopped us both in the middle of the street, forcing a man to turn quickly aside to avoid walking into us. “Oh my god, we haven’t even talked about Rachel. I’m so sorry, uh… I don’t know where my head’s at.”

“Listen, it’s fine,” I said, taking Lauren’s hand. “We already talked about it. It’s all taken care of.”

Lauren looked at me, seeming faintly surprised. “Oh… right!”

“Lunch at yours, Saturday!” Emma beamed. She brushed past us both and carried on toward the department store entrance. “Come on, cuz, I want to see what Laur’s gonna buy for us!“

* * * * *

“Oh my god, Laur, you have to get these!” Emma said, picking up a patent leather high-heeled shoe from the display.

Lauren stepped over and took it, turning it over in her hands. “Jesus, Ems!” she said, as she caught sight of the price tag. “I know I said I wasn’t worried about money, but that’s taking it too far!” She laughed and placed it back on the display shelf.

Emma and Lauren continued along the aisle, looking for something more appropriate. I found myself lagging behind, my gaze drifting. The entire floor was devoted to women’s clothing, with different sections for casual wear, formal wear, shoes, accessories, cosmetics, and a significant area given over to underwear. The store spanned several floors, polished and bright, with expensive designer brands sitting comfortably alongside everyday brands and crowded sale racks.

I looked over at the escalator which led up to the menswear department. We would usually go our separate ways whenever we shopped here. But now it felt like I no longer belonged in that space. The escalator churned endlessly, and I watched as a man stepped on and was carried up. He made it look so effortless. And yet to me it now seemed impossible.

I took a breath, picking up a tan open-toe sandal from the display next to me. I turned it around in my hand, running my fingers over the shape of its one-inch heel. It looked like it would go nicely with a skirt and bare legs.

“Hey, cuz, keep up!” Emma called loudly from up ahead, causing a woman in the next aisle to look up at us both for a moment. I quickly put the shoe back and hurried after them.

* * * * *

“What do you think, the charcoal or the grey?” Lauren asked, holding two skirts up in front of her in turn.

“The grey or the grey?” Emma chuckled. “Seriously, Laur, you need to get a little more adventurous!”

“Ems, this is a serious business they’re running, not some bijou boutique,” Lauren huffed.

“Well, I like the charcoal, personally,” I said.

“Thank you!” Lauren said, looking relieved. “At least someone’s taking this seriously.”

“You’re just saying that because you’ll be wanting to borrow it by this time next week!” Emma said, grinning.

“I… won’t,” I said, tucking my hair behind my ear.

“I’ll get both…” Lauren held the skirts by their hangers and leafed through the matching jackets to find her size. “Okay, now I need some tops…” she said, chewing her bottom lip as she glanced around.

“Okay, these I might be interested in,” I said, and it made Emma laugh.

“Look, there’s nothing to stop you picking up some things for yourself while we’re here,” Lauren said, looking increasingly exasperated with us both. “In fact, you two go off and I’ll catch you up later.”

“Oh, yes! This is gonna be great!” Emma’s face lit up and she could barely conceal her excitement. “But listen, I swear we’re not buying you any more leggings!”

“Well, thanks to you, he won’t even wear them out anymore!” Lauren said as she laid her clothing across an arm.

“What do you mean, ‘thanks to me’?” Emma said, with a look of innocence.

“Going on about panty lines all the time!”

“Okay, that I can fix,” Emma said, turning and looking me up and down. “I may not be able to save the Grey Lady, but I can save you! Come on!” She pulled me by the arm, my shoes scuffing as I tripped along after her.

* * * * *

I stood there gazing up at the female mannequin on its plinth, its hand perched on its hip, provocatively modelling a sheer lacy red negligee. Despite its exposure, it seemed not to have a care in the world.

“Over here!” Emma waved at me from the centre of the lingerie section. I glanced about me, then walked towards her with my head held down.

“Okay, what do you think of this one?” Emma asked, holding up a delicate lacy black bra.

“Oh… uh, it’s pretty,” I said, sheepishly adjusting the strap of my purse on my shoulder. “But… well, I think it’d be a little too big for me.”

“This isn’t for you! This is for me!” Emma said, her glossy pink lips flashing her teeth as she smiled.

“Oh, right!” I laughed.

Emma tossed the bra into the plastic basket she’d picked up. “You know you didn’t actually say no to it,” Emma teased.

“All I was saying was—“

“Look, you don’t need to feel embarrassed or ashamed about it. Especially not with me. Okay? If you want to wear pretty bras and cute makeup, you go for it!” She winked at me.

“Err… okay?” I said, looking away as I felt myself blush.

“So, what size are you?” Emma asked, already flicking through the rack for another bra.

“Uh, the same as Lauren?” I said, glancing down at my chest for a moment. From this angle I could see a glimpse of the ivory bra I wore beneath my cream top.

“Right, so this one?” Emma handed me an identical bra to one she’d chosen for herself, only in Lauren’s size. In my size.

I held it by its hanger. The cups were smaller, but just as intricately patterned, with lacy detailing along the edges, the straps and the band.

“It’s pretty. Right, cuz?” Emma said, looking up at me.

“Yes... it’s pretty,” I said, trying to get used to the word on my lips. I drew a breath. “Listen, Emma… could you, uh… you know… maybe not call me ‘cuz’.” I looked away again. It was hard enough trying to figure out how Lauren and I were supposed to work like this, without the reminder that I’d inadvertently set myself up as being her cousin in public.

“Oh, hey, sure, no problem. You just had to say!” Emma said cheerily, as she picked up her basket, grabbing the bra from me and tossing it in. I exhaled. That had been easier than I thought! “Right, now to fix your panty line problem!” Emma announced. I stood there reeling, watching as she marched off down the aisle, her long hair swaying against her lower back. I found my gaze shifting back to the bras on their hangers, all different colours, styles and sizes. My hand reached out to feel the delicate lace edging of another bra, only this time in pink.

“Susie, look, this is what you need!” Emma called over from the next aisle, waving what looked like a small black lace thong at me.

I inwardly groaned as I turned into the next aisle, my pink skirt fanning a little at my legs, my borrowed flat sandals tapping against the polished floor. When I woke up this morning, I certainly hadn’t expected to find myself in the middle of the lingerie section, choosing women’s underwear with Emma. But I did need some of this stuff. As I stopped next to her, I dropped the lacy pink bra into the basket. I looked down at the skimpy underwear Emma held, rolling my eyes as I took it.

The thong was delicate and soft, with a semi-sheer patterned front and lace edges. There was a narrow strip of fabric that ran up the rear before widening out at the top to join the lacy band. This wasn’t made to be hidden. This was made to be seen… “Wait, uh… how’s this supposed to help with my panty line?” I whispered self-consciously.

“It’s not!” Emma grinned. “That’s just to go with your new bra.”

“I don’t think—“

“Do you like it? That’s all you need to ask yourself.”

I stared down at the skimpy underwear cradled in my hands. I looked back up at Emma, using a finger to stroke a strand of hair away from my forehead. “Yes…”

Emma nodded towards the basket on the floor. I sighed and dropped it in.

“Oh my god, that’s gorgeous,” a voice came from behind us. A woman reached past us, selecting her own identical thong from the rail. She held it up and turned it around, appraisingly. “My girlfriend will go wild when she sees me in this!”

“Sounds like someone’s in for a good night!” Emma said, smiling back at her.

“I hope so!” The woman beamed and carried on down the aisle.

Emma raised her eyebrows and smiled at me. We both looked down at the basket, darting for it at the same time. I wasn’t fast enough and Emma snatched it away. “Uh-uh! We’re getting it!” she teased, hooking the basket on her elbow and backing away before I could make another grab for it.

“Now… this is what we need for your VPL,” Emma said, stopping a little further on and reaching down for a multipack of plain thongs in different colours. She added them to the basket before I could say anything.

“They just don’t look very comfortable,” I sighed.

“You get used to them,” Emma shrugged. “But yeah, the first time something’s riding that far up your—“

I snorted, bringing a hand to my mouth as I began to uncontrollably giggle.

“What?” Emma said, looking confused for a moment. “Oh! You know what I mean!” she said, starting to break into hysterics.

Now we were starting to draw stares. I dabbed at my eye with a finger as I tried to compose myself. “Come on,” Emma said, hooking her arm with mine as she led me out of the lingerie section.

* * * * *

Emma led me around the rest of the store. She seemed determined to look at everything and we now had enough items between us to warrant a basket each. Emma had chosen some more things for herself, and helped me pick out a new top and skirt, along with the tan sandals I’d been looking at earlier. I still wasn’t quite sure about what I’d let her talk me into.

We stepped into the cosmetics section. The lights were starker and brighter, which only served to make me feel more self-conscious — especially about my own amateur attempts at applying makeup.

“So, what are you two up to tomorrow that you’re too busy to see Rachel?” Emma asked, stopping to put her basket down. She selected a pink lipstick tube from the display. Uncapping it, she twisted the end, rubbing a little of it on the back of her hand.

“Well, uh, actually we were going to go to the cinema and then get some food after.”

“Oh, you mean you’re going on a date!” Emma said, looking suddenly more interested.

“No… it’s not like that,” I said, setting my own basket down.

“Well, why not? You are married.” Emma grabbed my wrist and rubbed a little of the same lipstick onto the back of my hand.

“I know…” I said, clutching protectively at my wedding ring hanging around my neck with my free hand.

“You should get this one. It suits your complexion better than mine,” she said, letting go of my wrist and handing me the tube. I looked down at the pink lipstick, and then at the smear of colour on the back of my hand. I leaned down to place it in my basket.

“We just wanted to do something normal together,” I said, following behind Emma as she started looking at the eye makeup. “Now that Lauren’s got Riverside, and we’re going to have to start working on a case with Rachel... well, maybe this will be our only chance.” I looked over at the dizzying collections of eyeshadow, eyeliner and mascara. Each of the major brands had their logos alongside an image of some sultry temptress with perfectly applied, professional makeup. Emma selected a mascara and an eyeshadow palette for herself, dropping them into her basket.

“Oh, I think I need one of these,” I said, grabbing the same mascara for myself.

“I would go for... this one,” Emma said, selecting another. “It won’t be as heavy looking on you.”

“Oh... thanks,” I said, taking it, and returning the other to the plastic display rack.

Emma turned to look at me. “Look, Riverside... and Rachel. Those things are important. But neither of them are as important as you two,” she said. “So you have to find the time for each other, okay?”

I paused for a moment, then nodded.

“Alright, let’s go pay,” Emma smiled, turning to head to the counter with her basket.

“Uh, I should probably check with Lauren first,” I said, looking down at my own basket. “I mean... it’s quite a lot.”

“What’s the problem?” Emma stopped for a moment. “I bet you never checked with her when you bought a pair of chinos,” she said plainly.

“Well, no, but...”

“Look, some of this stuff you need. Some of this stuff you want. Both of those are okay,” Emma said, smiling. “Especially now that Lauren’s going to be raking it in with Riverside! The only question is whether she will notice if we add my stuff to your bill!”

“Oh, err—”

“I’m joking! Come on!”

I followed Emma to the checkout counter. She went up first, the cashier beginning to scan her items. As I waited, I noticed a selection of accessories that had been piled into a discount bin. I found myself leaning forward, looking through a few things. I found a small wallet made from lavender-coloured fabric with embroidered details. I picked it up and placed it on top of the pile in my basket. That would be better than my old brown wallet.

Emma stepped back, having paid for her items, now carrying a single plastic bag. I stepped up and hefted my basket onto the counter.

“Hello, how are you today?” the woman at the checkout smiled.

“Oh, good thank you, how are you?”

“I’m great! Did you find everything you wanted today?” she asked, beginning to scan my purchases with an electronic beep.

I found myself glancing back towards Emma. “Yes... yes I did,” I smiled. The woman totalled up the amount, but I hesitated for a moment. I wondered if I should at least wait for Lauren’s first paycheck before indulging like this. The cashier waited patiently. I finally reached into my bag for my phone. The screen unlocked with my facial ID almost immediately. It was so sure of who I was. I tapped it against the card machine.

“Thank you, have a great day!” The cashier smiled, handing me the bags.

“Oh, Susie, you dropped something out of your purse,” Emma said as I started to walk away with a bag in each hand.

“Hmm?” I turned around as Emma leaned down, picking up a small card.

“Couples night — romantic candlelit dinner for two!” Emma read loudly from the card, her eyes lighting up. I realised it was the voucher I’d been given at The Boathouse yesterday. “Well, that’s settled then! That’s what you and Laur are doing tomorrow!”

“Emma!” I said through gritted teeth. I glanced back at the cashier, who stood smiling at me, just like the mannequin back in the lingerie section.

“Oh! We have to get you something else now!” Emma grabbed my upper arm, pulling me back into the clothing aisles. “Trust me!”

* * * * *

I wasn’t sure quite what had happened, or what was continuing to happen, but Emma led me around a few more aisles, looking through racks, sizes and materials, until finally we came away with yet another bag and yet another dent in the bank account.

“This is fucking perfect, tomorrow will be so good for you both!” Emma said as we finally made our way to the department store exit.

“What will?” Lauren said, stepping up beside us. She was struggling to carry a couple of suit bags along with another full shopping bag.

Emma stepped in, offering Lauren her free hand to carry one of the bags. “You two are going on a romantic date tomorrow!” she proudly declared.

“We… are?” Lauren stopped to look at me as Emma marched on ahead of us.

“Apparently so!” I said a little sheepishly, my shoulders drooping with the weight of my bags. “I’ll explain what happened later!”

“I think I can guess,” Lauren said, and we both looked ahead of us.

“Emma!” we said together, then broke into laughter.

* * * * *

Lauren drove us home, with Emma squashed up in the backseat of the convertible, our shopping bags either side of her. She’d managed to invite herself over under the auspices of helping us carry in our shopping.

We fell through the door of the lakehouse, only just managing to carry everything between us.

“Did you catch Women’s Hour the other day?” Emma asked, walking through to the kitchen and setting two of the bags on the counter.

“Oh, yeah… wasn’t it about how women are treated getting back into work after maternity leave?” Lauren said, dropping her bags onto the floor next to the breakfast bar. She seemed more tired than either Emma or me. But she had received some pretty big news today. Knowing her, she would already be starting to stress about it, even if she didn’t show it.

“Fucking patriarchy!” Emma said, looking genuinely annoyed. I set my own bags on the counter next to hers. I smoothed my skirt and sat on one of the stools at the breakfast bar.

“It just makes me so mad,” Lauren said, kicking her shoes off and shuffling over to the lounge area. “Makes me glad that I work for myself.”

“And that you chose not to have kids,” Emma said.

My eyes found Lauren’s across the open-plan living space. She cleared her throat. “So, you still think you want kids, Ems?”

“Oh yeah! I reckon I’ll end up with a load, like the woman who lived in a tree!”

“A shoe,” I said, smiling.

“You’ll make a great mom,” Lauren said warmly, resting her head back against the seat cushion. “Don’t you think so, Scott?”

“I’m just trying to imagine more little Emmas running around!” I said teasingly, resting my elbows on the breakfast bar.

“Oh, can you imagine!” Emma grinned, heading over to the fridge to help herself to a bottle of water. She set another down in front of me.

“Well, either way, you better get a move on,” Lauren said from the sofa.

“Uh, don’t remind me,” Emma groaned, sipping at her water. “Why do we get such a little window when we’re all expected to pop a couple of kids out?”

I leaned back on my stool, looking down, my own hand coming to rest on my abdomen for a moment.

“So, when are you two going to show me what you bought?” Lauren said, putting her bare feet up on the coffee table in front of her.

“Come on, grab a bag!” Emma said, setting her bottle down on the side. She picked up a couple of the shopping bags from the counter and, instead of heading over to the lounge to show Lauren, walked toward the staircase.

* * * * *

I sat next to Emma on the edge of the bed, reaching into the bags to pull out my new purchases. I set my new pink lipstick, mascara and eyeshadow palette onto the vanity table, moving a few of Lauren’s things out of the way to make space for them.

“You’ll need your own dresser before long!” Emma teased.

“I don’t need that much space!” I laughed.

I bent down to pull out my new underwear – the multi-pack of thongs, my new lacy pink and black bras, and the lacy black thong, laying them out on the bed. I reached down for the next bag, but Emma placed a hand on my arm. I looked up at her.

“Save that for tomorrow,” she said. “It can be a surprise.”

I nodded, sliding the bag to one side. Instead, I reached into the last bag for the skirt and top that Emma had helped me pick out.

“It’s a bit… short, isn’t it?” I said, holding up the skirt. It was a blue denim miniskirt, with pockets at the back, but it looked to be a good few inches shorter than any of the skirts I’d worn already.

“Come on, it’s about time we got to see the rest of those gorgeous legs of yours!” Emma said, teasingly lifting the hem of the pink skirt I wore, as if trying to get a glimpse.

“Get off!” I playfully slapped her hand away. I picked up the top. It was pretty — pink-coloured with a floral pattern, and it felt nice and soft to the touch.

“Well, are you going to try them on?” Emma looked at me eagerly.

“I… can do it later,” I said, cradling the top in my lap.

“Come on, Susie, this is the best part of buying new clothes!” She placed a hand on my leg, looking at me pleadingly.

“You know, you don’t have to call me that when it’s just us,” I said, looking into her eyes.

“But you already said not to call you ‘cuz’!” Emma said, looking surprised.

“Yeah, but I didn’t mean to start calling me that instead!”

“Well, what am I supposed to call you? I just spent the afternoon helping you pick out a miniskirt and a little lacy thong. “I can’t go calling you, Scott now, can I?”

I shook my head. This woman was maddening!

Emma looked at me for a moment. “Look, it’s just a nickname. It doesn’t mean anything. Ems, Laur… Susie. It’s just a little sign of affection.” She reached for the top I held, taking it and holding it by the shoulder straps, shaking it gently to straighten it out. “Now come on, let’s see how you look in your new clothes!”

The corner of my mouth flicked up just a little and I rose to my feet. I hesitated for a moment, wondering whether I should be changing in front of another woman like this. I then crossed my arms, gripping the hem of my cream sleeveless top, pulling it up and over my head.

“Ooh, pretty bra!” Emma said, glancing at the ivory patterned bra I wore.

“Thanks. It’s Lauren’s. Well, it was!” I said, smiling now. I reached behind to unclasp it.

“Woah!” Emma said, holding up her hands. “You can try your new lingerie on in your own time! I just meant this stuff, silly!” She laughed and handed me my new top.

“Oh, right… yeah!” I felt my cheeks warm as I took it.

I slipped it over my head, threading my arms through the thin spaghetti straps. As I smoothed the fabric out, I saw that it fit snugly across my boobs, while the lower part hung loose across my waist. The floral pattern was bolder than anything I owned, or had borrowed from Lauren.

“Oh, that’s so cute on you!” Emma beamed from the bed.

“Really?” I adjusted the thin straps, realising they weren’t wide enough to hide my ivory bra straps.

I reached for the zipper on my pink skirt, but hesitated as I looked at Emma. “You don’t mind, do you?”

“Of course not. As long as you’re not going commando under there!” Emma giggled.

I nodded and took a breath, sliding the zipper down. I let the pink skirt fall and puddle at my feet, standing there now in my new top and ivory panties. I noticed Emma’s gaze dip down for a moment and she opened her mouth as if about to say something.

“Don’t!” I said, holding up a warning finger.

Emma innocently placed a hand against her chest. “I wasn’t going to say anything!”

“That would be a first!” I teased.

I reached for the denim skirt, turning it round in my hands to find the front.

“Do you miss having a dick?” Emma said, like she’d not just said something wildly inappropriate.

“Emma, please!” I fumbled with the button on the skirt, suddenly desperate to put it on and cover up.

“What, I’m just curious!” Emma said, a little too brightly. “Okay, maybe that came out a little weird.”

I sighed and shook my head. Holding the denim skirt low, I stepped into it and pulled it up my legs, unable to stop thinking about Emma’s question. I realised I hadn’t thought about it once today. Maybe not yesterday either…

“I think I’d try having one for a day,” Emma continued. “You know, to see what it feels like swinging around everywhere. Pee standing up, and all that.”

“It’s really not anything special,” I said, wriggling the skirt up over my hips and fastening the button.

“Oh, really?” Emma said, raising an eyebrow. “Because you’re about to spend a hell of a lot of money trying to get it back.”

“It’s not about that,” I said. “Well… obviously part of it is. But it’s about getting Scott back.” The words seemed to hang between us for a moment. I exhaled and turned to face the full-length mirror, smoothing my top back out over my new skirt. The hem of the top was loose and short, almost like a little skirt itself, though it only just reached the waistband of my denim skirt, so it didn’t need to be tucked in. I adjusted the thin shoulder straps, lining them up with my bra straps as best I could. The neckline was low and straight, framing my boobs nicely, and the loose hem created a new sensation of fabric brushing against my torso as I moved. Not only was the style new to me, but the print as well: blush pink, with little cream flowers, green leaves, and thin stems.

The top I could deal with, and I was pretty happy with how it looked on me. The denim skirt ended at mid-thigh, revealing more of my legs than I had dared to so far. At least in public. I kept pulling on the hem, hoping it might stretch a little longer.

“Stop fiddling with it!” Emma said from behind me. “You shouldn’t be hiding legs like those away!”

My gaze drifted lower in the mirror, focusing on the line of my calves, the softness of my knees, and the gentle curve up to the thicker tops of my thighs. I’d always thought Lauren had nice legs. And I had loved it whenever she wore stockings to show them off. But as I looked at my own legs, I couldn’t quite appreciate them in the same way. At least I’d shaved them this morning.

“Ooh, wait a second!” Emma said, reaching for one of my shopping bags and pulling out the shoebox. “Don’t forget these!” She opened it up and unfolded the tissue paper, producing the tan open-toe sandals that I’d bought.

“Oh, right!” I said, sweeping my hands over the sides of my short skirt as I stepped over to the vanity table. I perched on the stool and Emma handed me the shoes. My fingers traced the chunky heel. It was only about an inch thick, so it wasn’t like it was going to be a problem. I leaned forward and set them down in front of me. I slipped my feet into them one at a time, a tan band running across the top of my feet, leaving my toes bared.

“Cute! I think you made a good choice with those,” Emma said, looking down. “Don’t forget the ankle straps.”

I nodded and fiddled with the tiny little buckles. “Why do they have to make everything so tiny and delicate!”

“Because we are tiny and delicate ladies,” Emma said, putting a hand to her chest as she attempted a bad posh British accent. It reminded me a little of Doctor Rourke from Axis, and I found myself staring into space for a moment, my smile faltering. I could still picture him sat across from Lauren and me in the lounge. His eyes studying me, fascinated and intrigued at what had happened. I looked over, remembering Rourke’s questionnaire that was still tucked away in my bedside drawer.

“Susie?”

“Hmm?” I said, blinking a couple of times.

“I said, are you ready?”

I took a breath. “Yeah, I’m ready.” Emma was right. Lauren must have been wondering what was keeping us. We should probably get down there. I looked up at her, seeing her standing there holding my new eyeshadow palette as she dabbed the applicator with a shimmering rose-gold colour.

“Alright, now close your eyes for me,” she said.

“Oh, err… right… I didn’t realise that’s what you— okay we’re doing this!” I stammered, as Emma leaned over me.

“Keep still!”

* * * * *

I stepped out of the bedroom and walked across the landing. Between my new sandals and the tightness of my denim skirt, my stride was just a little shorter. Most noticeable was the audible clack of my shoes against the wooden floorboards. I hesitated at the top of the staircase and placed my hand against the rail.

“You’ve got quite the little wiggle going on!” Emma teased from behind me. Before I could protest she was busy forcing my shoulders back and adjusting the position of my hips. “Ready?”

I straightened my top and gave a last, futile tug on the hem of my denim skirt. I reached back, feeling the short, braided ponytail that Emma had insisted on trying out on me. It felt heavier, like all my hair was pulling at one point on the back of my head.

“You want everything to be right, don’t you?” Emma asked, studying my face for a moment. “Hey, you’ve got some lipstick on your teeth… just run your finger across like this,” she said, demonstrating. I ran my finger across the front of my teeth and presented them for inspection. “Perfect!” Emma smiled.

We began to walk down the stairs together, my hand lightly touching the rail. My sandals echoed through the high-ceilinged space. When we reached halfway, Emma paused and cleared her throat.

“Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please,” she said, loudly. “It is my pleasure to present to you — Susie with an S!”

I glanced back at her, sighing with exasperation. I took a breath and carried on the rest of the way down the stairs. Lauren was still on the sofa. Her eyes widened as she looked up at me, and she sat up straighter.

“What… what is it?” I asked, pausing before I even reached the lounge area. I self-consciously wrung the loose hem of my top.

Lauren got up, her eyes fixed on me as she stepped toward me. “Nothing, just, uh… Okay, turn around for me?”

I spun around a little too quickly, but enough to see that Emma was standing behind, looking especially pleased with herself.

“Careful!” Lauren smiled, placing a hand on my arm to steady me.

“Well, what do you think, Laur?” Emma said, unable to keep quiet any longer.

Lauren’s eyes scanned my face, taking in my new rose-gold eyeshadow, mascara and pale pink lipstick — all perfectly applied by Emma. She reached up, lightly touching the braid at the back of my head. “She looks like you!” Lauren said, looking over my shoulder at Emma.

I felt myself tense up as I caught the word. She. It seemed to hang there, reverberating in my mind, as loud as my heels had been on the stairs.

“He…” I said quietly, looking at Lauren. There was a pause, and suddenly she looked mortified.

“Scott… I’m so sorry! It’s been a big day… the Riverside stuff…” she stammered, her cheeks turning bright red.

“Hey, it’s okay,” I said, rubbing at her shoulder. “Listen, I’m sorry… this is your day, and we’re hijacking it with…” I looked down at myself, at my pink-floral top and denim miniskirt. “Well, with all this!”

“Susie’s right, we should be celebrating! I’m going to open some wine!” Emma said, heading over to the kitchen, her navy print dress swaying about her legs.

“Susie?” Lauren asked me, raising an eyebrow.

“It… it’s just a nickname. It doesn’t mean anything,” I said, repeating Emma’s words.

I slipped past her, heading to the lounge area, my sandals clacking and my braid bouncing lightly between my shoulder blades.

“Scott?” Lauren said, and I turned back to look at her. “You look beautiful.” Her expression was warm and sincere.

“Thanks,” I said, giving a flicker of a smile.

* * * * *

“So, the first thing will be to work on their community engagement programme. Build a resource pack they can use… that sort of thing. Then I can generate some content and testimonials to help promote and expand the business.” Lauren paused to sip at her wine.

“First Riverside—“ Emma said.

“Then Lakeside!” I giggled, taking a sip from my own glass.

“Then Seaside!” Emma grinned.

“Alright, enough you two. I get the message, this stuff is boring!” Lauren said, smoothing a hand across her sage dress.

Emma had her legs tucked up under her on the sofa opposite, her skirt pulled over her knees. All of us had slipped out of our shoes now for comfort. I sat next to Lauren with my legs crossed, my hand hovering across my exposed thigh.

“We’re really happy for you, Laur,” Emma said. “We just don’t need to hear all about it!” she giggled, taking another gulp of wine.

“I like hearing about it!” I said, smiling at Lauren. She looked pleased that I had taken her side.

“I’ve taught my husband well!” Lauren smiled and tapped my bare leg.

Emma grabbed her purse from the sofa seat beside her, looking for her phone. “I should get going soon,” she said, checking the time. “Oh, Rachel text back! All good for lunch here on Saturday, 1pm.”

“Oh, yeah! When was all this decided?” Lauren said, looking at us both as she leaned forward to drain the last of the bottle of wine into each of our offered glasses.

“It’s the least we can do,” I said, leaning back to take another sip.

“I warn you, she’s going to be expecting some expensive food and fine wine,” Emma said, smiling.

“Really?” Lauren asked, looking a little worried.

“I think that’s what Emma’s hoping for!” I giggled, uncrossing then recrossing my legs the other way.

“Careful in that skirt, Susie, I nearly caught an eyeful!” Emma exclaimed.

“Oh!” I reflexively reached down, but we all just ended up laughing together.

We relaxed back into conversation, easily spending another half hour talking and laughing at whatever the other had said.

“Listen, let me drive you home at least,” I offered.

“I don’t think you should drive,” Lauren said. “You’re all giggly.”

“I am not!” I said, trying to stifle a laugh, my bare shoulders rising and falling.

“It’s okay, I can order a cab,” Emma said, tapping away at her phone for a moment. “Alright... all booked. Ten minutes.”

“Do you still have a perfect rider rating?” Lauren asked, then leaned toward me. “She’s very proud of it.”

“Of course I do, I’m a fucking delight!” Emma laughed and flicked her light brown hair out at her shoulders. “Well, anyway, I hope you two have fun on your romantic date tomorrow.”

“You don’t need to keep calling it that!” Lauren sighed and folded her arms.

“I want to hear all about it, so I’m relying on you, Susie!”

“Hmm? Why me?” I asked, looking between Emma and Lauren.

“Laur gets all uptight about these things,” Emma teased, winking at Lauren. “When you two first started dating it took me aaages to get her to tell me what you were like in the sack!”

I nearly choked on the last of my wine.

Lauren looked sheepishly over the top of her wine glass at me. “Don’t worry, I gave you a perfect rider rating!”

“I reckon you were doing the riding, Laur!” Emma said and we collapsed into laughter again, though as I recovered, I felt a little pang inside for something we had lost.

When the door finally buzzed for Emma’s cab, I leaped to my feet, eager to move on before too many more details of our love life were shared. My head swam a little and I realised Lauren may have been right about the wine.

We saw Emma to the door, and I leaned in to hug her tightly. “Thanks for helping me pick out some more things today,” I said as we kissed each other’s cheek.

“Hey, what are friends for?” Emma smiled, and it seemed like she meant it. “See you Laur, well done on the Riverside contract. I’m not jealous at all that I’m still stuck working for the man!” she said as they hugged and kissed.

“Fuck the patriarchy,” I said through the fog of the wine. Emma and Lauren fell silent and both turned to look at me.

More laughter.

“So, I’ll see you girls on Saturday with Rachel,” Emma said.

“1pm,” Lauren recited back. “Good food. Good wine.” She opened the front door. The driver was standing over by his car on the driveway, the motor running.

Emma waved at him. “Oh, it’s a man! Good. Perfect score guaranteed!” She grinned at us and made a play of parting the neckline of her wrap dress to expose a little more of her cleavage. “Susie, let me check I’ve still got your number on my phone.”

I suddenly realised that she was serious about letting her know how things went tomorrow. I watched as she scrolled through her contacts. “Here it is.” Without missing a beat she aimed her phone at me to snap a photo, uploading it to the contact information on her phone. She tapped on my name, swiping to clear it, then quickly replaced it.

Susie

“Beautiful,” she smiled, holding up the phone for me to see. Despite my makeup, the photo of me looked every bit as startled and woozy as I felt.

“See you!” Emma turned, shouldering her purse.

I thought for a moment, then turned, quickly heading back into the house, my sandals clacking beneath me, my legs moving quickly beneath my denim skirt.

“Where are you going?” Lauren called back into the house from the open door.

I found my phone and hurried back, just in time to see Emma opening the rear door of the cab to get in.

“Hey, Ems,” I called over.

She turned and looked back at us, just as I snapped a photo. Emma smiled and waved at us, smoothing the back of her dress as she climbed into the rear of the cab.

I scrolled through the contact list on my phone for her name. I uploaded the candid photo — of Emma standing in her navy floral-print dress, looking across at me from the car. I smiled. Unlike the one she’d taken of me, this was actually a nice photo. I tapped the backspace button on her name a couple of times and replaced it.

Ems

I smiled and hit save.

* * * * *