I was scared of gran.
Yet it felt so good when mum
said I looked like her.
As I grew up it became obvious that the reason why she'd seemed scarier to me than to mum at that age was the start of Alzheimer's. The more I've learned of her earlier life the more I've recognised her in me, in ways other than just looks, but the impressions of a five-year-old still colour it all. Happily mum didn't inherit the dementia.
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Comments
I had a very special relationship with my grandmother
She taught me all the basics of cooking when I was growing up because we only lived about 15 miles away and often spent weekends at her house. Later we moved to Kansas but would often drive down to Oklahoma and visit her. I remember one trip shortly after I was in the Air Force when I picked her up and drove her to Kansas.
Eventually she had to switch to living with my mother or my uncle. But we would have special chats, talking about family and what I was doing. Eventually she started confusing my name with my uncle’s. We both knew the difference but it was just a verbal slip.
But after a time the Alzheimer’s got too bad and she had to go into full time care. On my last visit before she died I asked to go see her. My mother said not to bother because she didn’t even recognize her own daughter.
Alzheimer’s is scary and I’m glad my parents didn’t get it.
Gillian Cairns