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this kind of got out of
this kind of got out of control and feels a bit...rapey to me. Magical roofies.
EDIT: Did some further thinking. It seems that whichever fairy came up with this plan is not very smart, or is in league with the dragons. Bringing in someone to change males into females wouldn't solve the problem, it would just make a new set of problems as these females pop up where males were and seem to only want to spread the femininity like a virus.
But the dragons are still out there, still stealing women and so this plan is a band-aid solution at best. A better plan would be to bring in someone to fight and kill dragons.
Otherwise it seems that this 'plan' would create a mentality that women exist to fuck and little else, or that women are the pawns of the dragons and sleeping with one will make you One Of Them and create a race war of some kind.
Out of Hand
I'll try to cover most of the points you made, but first let me apologize if the story came off as "Rapey". Some of my stories may get a little dark, but rape is something I avoid like the plague. That being said, I do often deal with men becoming women who somehow lose control and sleep with a man or a woman. It's a typical trope in this sub genre we exist in, as the sex often opens the character's eyes to new things, or is an ironic punishment (i.e. the big bully who becomes the sex crazed bimbo). In this particular story Polly is made rather randy and forces herself on Phillip, but I believe (and possibly could have explained better) that he is a willing participant.
On your point of Winknip's plan? Right now Polly is able to transform men into women by sleeping with them, but that is where the "magic" ends. The newly female Philip can sleep with a man, but nothing would happen to either. I'm sorry if there was some implication that this was some kind of "virus" that would spread through the Kingdom. As for the Dragon's abducting the Princess and other women disappearing, that is simply a "MacGuffin", or a narrative motive for more transgender magic in the future. In those future stories you will see Polly become the heroine who tries to save her Kingdom from the Dragons, and from other mischievous beings.
I hope that this response wasn't to wordy, and I'll do my best to better convey my intentions in future stories.
I see, that does explain
I see, that does explain things a bit better. I still don't like Polly being kind of...magically driven, I guess into haivng sex. It felt a bit rapey and still does. Regardless, at least this has some direction.
Also will our shopkeeper face some kind of backlash for using her magic maliciously? I mean Paul may have been a bit of a jerk but it feels like she really, REALLY over-reacted, as badly as he did in fact. But in her case, she used the magic maliciously and if she did it once, she'll probably do it again.
It just seems that this was a complete no-crime, outside of him being kind of a jerk and not even that bad either, but she decided to be indignant and vengeful, so it would be nice to see some kind of backlash over this.
What happens to her betrothed
What happens to her betrothed prince when they have sex? Does he get changed as well? From what I am seeing the fairy Winknip telling Polly, that appears to be the case. Did I miss something?
We will be seeing more of
We will be seeing more of Princess Polly in a future story, and that is one of the main threads of the plot.
Re: What happens to her betrothed
I don't think you missed anything Janice. It looks like a major plot flaw to me:
"Captain of the guard, it's a disaster! The prince has turned into a woman!"
"SHIT! That's the 159th man we've lost this month. At this rate the fairy hordes and their dragon allies will overrun the kingdom in less than six moons. "
"Aye, Captain"
-----------------------------------------
For Licorice, rape is rape. Both men were raped and forceably castrated.
Paul did nothing wrong. He was the aggrieved party. Helen betrayed him. When two people love and enjoy a shared activity, cheating on the shared activity is a betrayal.
Feedback
Thanks so much for the feedback on the story. It's always great to have people extrapolate things that you would have never seen in a story that you wrote, but I can assure you there is no alliance between the fairies and the dragons. Although, now that I think of it...
And you're right about Paul doing nothing to deserve his fate, but in the end he welcomes it with open arms. If this were a novel I would delve deeper into his thoughts and the implications of what is happening, but it's a short story that was meant to be an erotic lark. I'll take what y'all have said and try and implement it in my future writing.
Lark
My first response to the story was that I could not take it seriously. (I even went back and reviewed the story headers to see if it had been tagged as comedy, but found that it had not been.) It became apparent that the story was not meant to be taken seriously when it started coming across to me as a satire on the crime/punishment sub-genre of TG fiction. I stopped reading when things got too silly for my tastes, but that is a reflection on my mood this morning, rather than on the story. A few more tags in the headers and/or a brief forward describing your intentions may have gone far in eliciting a different response from your readers.