Teri’s discomfort of being in the waiting room of his mother’s GYN was replaced by his excitement of seeing Dr. Michele Dorft, his women’s doctor. Teri couldn’t help but like her. She was only thirty-four but had been practicing medicine for ten years. She had a personality that Teri quickly warmed up to, and treated Teri as the young woman she wanted to be. She is, however, no pushover. Near the end of her exam of Teri, she said, “We’re going to be moving in the direction you’re wanting to go. But it will be slower than you might want. I think a transgender person should have a year of living like the person they want to be. This is especially true with someone as young as you. We can give you credit for a few months, but you weren’t living fully as a girl. I will give you a recipe of female hormones, milder than the pills you’ve been sneaking from your sisters. I will also give you a shot to continue to block your body from making testosterone.”

She asks me if I’m understanding what she’s saying so far. I protest, thinking I should be able to do what I want. But she holds her position and gets me to affirm that I’ve heard and understood what she has said. “The medicine will be strong enough for changes to your complexion, but if we use it you need to understand some things. Your breasts and hips might begin to change and develop. So if you decide being a girl and a female model is not for you. You may need cosmetic surgery or live with the development of your breasts, hoping they’d go back to normal. Allowing your testosterone back into your system would stop your hips from growing. Everything would be with Dr. Cheryl Woods approval. No approval, you would need to be dressing as a young woman without the medicine.”

“I’d like to see you weekly for a month once you’re taking the medicine and twice the following two months and then monthly after that. You’ll stop taking anything Dr. Woods or I prescribe. Is that completely understood, Teri? Will your formal name be Teri or Teresa, and how about a middle name?”

She said, “You should know that I am expecting that you will be transitioning. I will be one of your greater supporters if and when you do so. You already have a resemblance to your mother and sisters. That should give you an indication of how you might look.” Mom showed her a picture of my sister and me as models.

“I still need to warn you that it is not a guarantee of how you’ll look after transitioning. You may have more facial hair than the others or something else that is different. You will need to live with how you look. Women don’t come with prescribed guarantees.”

“When you meet with Dr. Woods at the University Hospital and if she agrees with me, you may stop by here. You do not need to wait for your next appointment for your first shots and prescriptions.”

That she was asking my mother to be strict with me, not allowing any time as a boy, was not pleasing. Not that I want it, but neither she nor my mother should be watching me that close. When I went out to the waiting room, Patti could tell I wasn’t fully getting my way. But a wink from my mother indicated the process was beginning.

Patti jumped up to hug me, saying. “So how did it go for you?” She didn’t step back when I displayed an attitude.

“It’s not what I wanted.”

Patti says, “But you’re on your way, aren’t you. I tried telling you doctors to look at the bigger picture and want you to be sure.”

I said, “But I told them I’m ready, and she’s kind of in agreement with that. I know what I’m doing and what I want. Why can’t they just cooperate with me?”

People in the waiting room were looking at us, wondering what we were talking about. It was now becoming more embarrassing for me. Patti quietly takes me out into the hallway as my mother makes future appointments. Mom says, “We now have to make an appointment to meet with your high school counselor and the registrar to change some classes.”

We have just over two hours before my appointment with Dr. Woods. My mother thought it would be an excellent time to introduce me to Victoria's Secret. I’ve been there, but this time it’s for me, not my sisters. “Mom, I wasn’t going to celebrate today after Dr. Dorft put me on a slower schedule to do what I want?”

We’re there, and Mom says, “We can leave if you want.” She knew good and well that I’m not leaving without some shopping. A salesgirl from the college recognizes me and smiles, “I hope I can help you, women.” Calling us women helped me. Patti is sharp-witted in responding, “It’s come time for Teri to up her own wardrobe of some intimate lingerie, and your help will be greatly appreciated. Do you have silicone inserts?”

Tiffany looks to me and says, “Let’s look at some bras you like, and I’ll help you. You can use some silicone petals if you want. I think that will be a good way for you to go. You’ve probably used some now and then modeling, but I take it these are to be part of your wardrobe.”

We know she’s wanting to ask more, but she’s being a good professional. Finally, I ask, “Would it be alright if you were to help me with sizing and fitting?” I think Tiffany is looking at Patti and me, wondering if we’re serious or joking and ready to cause trouble.

Mother was off to the side, now steps up, “She’s looking to be full-time, and she seriously could use your help. She’s definitely not wanting it from her mother.”

Tiff says to my Mom, “If I have your permission and Teri’s, I am more than happy too.” She and I go into an oversized changing room. Tiffany says, “What I do with you is confidential. I am personally pleased you are doing this.” My blouse and bra are off for Tiffany to measure me. She is very nice and affirming, encouraging me to stay realistic to the size I’d like to try to be.

Tiffany says, “Something your friend Patti or you said sounded like you might be returning to school as Teri, is that correct?”

I say, “Could that remain confidential for now; I could change my mind.” Tiff agreed, and I said, “I’m eighty percent sure, but I won’t be transitioning at least for now.”

Tiff says, “I think that is a wise way to go. Later in the year, if you’d like to come over to the college, I’d think you and your sister could be paid to speak to one of the fashion and design classes.”

She has the three bras I picked out and has added another three for my consideration. The help she provides in showing how to use the petal inserts and in picking and wearing bras. Two of the bras she had chosen look similar to mine, but they fit much better. She said, “Some lace and satin looks better than it feels… I liked what you chose and went with what would feel as nice as it looked.” She suggested two styles of panties, saying they might go better with my little anomaly. She also helped me select another satin teddy bear set for nighttime.

Mom encouraged me to get several camis and even two for Hattie. Mom had watched to see what Patti liked and got her a couple of things as well.

We were asked to be Grand Marshals for the Goldfarb Community Festival, but we knew a longtime teacher had already been asked. Leah quietly gave our request not to be considered for this year.

The mall we go to is on the far side of the next county; Jamie, Attie, and I have been invited there to the fashion show for the Fall Back-to-School Fashion Celebration. It is after we’re back from New York and have more appointments. It is mind-blowing how fast and far things have gone. The walkway that seemed a big deal in the spring, it means much to Attie and me now to participate. A humble reminder that we’re still new, and to participate as teenagers, there are conflicts. Ms. Briggs doesn’t officially change the wages from including a selection of one outfit. But she does know it is the last time for Jan and us to do it at the previous scale. Well, maybe not for us, as we’re still living here.

Jamie says it is noticeable that we’re now professional. Attie and I did get a partitioned area for changing. We’re both happy to be modeling fashions that we’re interested in wearing to school this fall. In that way, it is more exciting than in the spring for me. That was exciting for the novelty of it.

Principal Andersen approved my attending high school as Teri just two days before the fashion show at the mall. Jamie said the news spread through town like wildfire. I asked her angrily, “How can that be?”

Jamie said, “It was you in your FB messages to two friends; others got to see it. I’ve told you before messages there aren’t as private as you think.”

“But it was a message just to them; it wasn’t meant for others.” I knew she was going to tell me she told me so. Ms. Briggs has us listed as the Slade Sisters returning home.

Our mother says, “Now everyone from your school should know for sure who the Slade Sisters are.” “Dah Mom, they already know.” Mom insists I’m sending mixed messages.

I’m at the store making two piles: one for the fashion show, including the one I plan to keep. The other pile is clothes for my new wardrobe. A fan, Teg, is watching both when I come out to look at the outfit and to see which pile, if either, they should go into. Teg’s from another small town and we’re becoming friends. She’s already a friend to Madi, who was already a friend since May.

Teg says, “You know Polly and Madi have started a fan web page for the Slade Sisters. I’m one of your bigger fans. Polly and I especially dote on you.”

I said, “I’m glad to have you as a fan. The fan site is very nice of them. They give a fresh and broader look for those following us.”

Teg asks, “Would you mind if I select an outfit you decide to wear to school and around in public?” I take a good look at Teg and a fall skirt and blouse that I’m selecting, thinking that she too would look good in it. “Yes, that would be a good choice for me as well. I have a sweater that will allow me to wear it in the winter.”

Leah picked me up after she had done whatever elsewhere. I unloaded my shopping items at home and proceeded with Attie and Leah to meet with a fitness coach. A Hadley Morgan meets us once we’re there and inside. Hadley says, “I and Alyson will be evaluating and then help lay out your fitness program. We’re told it needs to be something you’ll want to do on the road as well as here with us. Is there something else we need to know?”

Leah intercedes, “They are not seeking to build any muscle mass, including their legs. We want them to be fit because they put in long days. Do we have an understanding?”

Hadley asks, “What’s with the request? Are these girls princesses or something? Maybe we should have someone train for them.”

Hattie says, “We’re models, and how we look is connected with our appearance. We’ll work out okay, but if you can’t respect us then we’re out of here.” A woman, Alyson, walks up behind us, saying, “Woe.”

Alyson, “Attie and Teri, I know who you are, and we’ll have fun working with you. Do not worry about Hadley; she’ll be one of your biggest advocates if anyone else would give you a hard time. She does like challenging those we hope to know if they’re serious about staying in shape.”

I’m shown where I need to change and can shower later. Then they go with Attie and Leah to the women’s locker room. I change into a bodysuit and shorts. Aly smiles as I’m out first. “One of us will show you the exercise and want to see you do eight reps; will that be okay? …If you have a warm-up routine, you can begin or use the exercise bike for seven minutes.”

I get up on one and begin pedaling, and Aly stops me. “Please let me show you how to adjust your bike for you to use. We want you to do that wherever you’re training.”

At the end of the workout, I was impressed with the exercises. I had stretched muscles; I hadn’t. I was tired but rejuvenated. Hadley came up to me and asked if it was okay to hug me. “Please forgive me for being rude. I jumped to an assumption that wasn’t true. I love your long, slender legs, and was jealous and worried you’d be a wuss.” Her smile caused me to giggle. We hugged and were glad to become friends.

Before our meeting at Chapel Hill, we had a small fashion show in Atlanta that we were hired for. Belk appreciated our being there and made it profitable. We were both doing well; Attie was especially sparkling. It was the middle of Saturday when model Lea came back running in from the runway and bumped Attie. I saw it and became furious. My sister went flying to the floor, while Lea remained standing. To everyone else, it was an accident, but Lea had her heels in her hand and hit and tore the slacks outfit Attie was to model.

“Lea, I don’t take what you did as an accident,” I said quietly but firmly to her.

Lea got close and whispered, “Tough, go ahead and hit me if you want.” I quickly understood she was trying to set us up as the bad people. I took a step back. “Please, watch and keep your distance from sister and me.” I took another step back and went over to Attie. “Attie, I’ll do double duty; take it easy until you’re ready. …Meg gets me her next outfit.”

Attie was patched up and ready to model her last outfit of the evening. I had an idea about Attie’s damaged slacks ensemble, and Meg made it happen for my last outfit of the evening. We took Attie’s damaged pair of slacks and added a peek-a-boo patch in the area where it was punctured. We put the comma on the other hip, and I wore a silver panty underneath. It was daring for this fashion show. I hoped the maker would be happier we did something instead of nothing for them.

Come Sunday morning, the fashion critics were harsh about what I did; fortunately, several websites were going crazy with hits, liking the outfit as a refreshing and daring look. And that was before someone interviewed Meg on how it came to be.

It is a week later, and we have our show for late October, but next week we visit Chapel Hill, North Carolina to set up our part. That includes finding out the clothes we will be modeling as well as the venue set-up. We have two meetings during the weekend, one with Belk and the other is actually on Monday with those heading up the fashion show. We flew a late flight on Friday and are up early Saturday morning, as the head designer, Ms. Lisa Harper, wants to greet us.

We were tired as we hadn’t slept well. There were partygoers on our floor as well as noise from below our room. I was drinking coffee to get awake. Attie and I both wore exquisite-looking skater dresses. It was nice to hear the good compliments we were getting. Sometimes one fears those watching over you, especially the money people. Attie seemed to follow along better with Mom and Leah. I was uncomfortable but didn’t know why, until I finally jumped out of my chair. I had what I call a Charlie horse in my right thigh.

That was when I personally met Cal, a physical therapist who came to my aid. He squatted in front of me and looked up, asking, “Would it be okay if I tried to help you?”

With my nod, he quickly rubbed both sides of my thigh near the pain. “Take some light steps in place if you can.” I was feeling a knot unwind as he rubbed. He took a hand, guiding me a few steps. He asks, “Have you been drinking much coffee or caffeine this morning? How about water and juice?”

“I slept badly, and I’m trying to stay awake. I’m sorry if that doesn’t agree with you.”

Cal says, “I’m sorry, but it is you that it isn’t agreeing with.” He turns to Lisa and says, “I’m sorry, but she needs some fresh stockings.” It was true, as his rubbing my leg had misshaped my pantyhose. I was embarrassed, and Ms. Harper’s assistant took me to a nearby side room.

Where's her assistant, Meg quickly said. “I have several pairs of stockings being sent up, but it will take a few minutes.” Lisa said, “I hope you didn’t mind getting the attention of the cute therapist?”

“Well, I’m sure he wouldn’t be interested in me if he knew I’m a male model.”

Meg says, “He knew alright, but he was treating you as a good-looking young woman and him as a professional.”

I said, “He has to be at least 10-12 years older than me.” With that said, there was a knock on the door. Instead of the person who was bringing the stockings, it was Cal.

“If she has her hosiery off, I’d like to check her leg.” Meg jokes back as she lets him in the room, “I’m sure you would.”

Cal says, “While she’s very attractive. I’m much too old and need to be professional about this.” He continues, but if she’s looking for a nice escort when she’s back here for the show. I could ask my younger brother or even my sister.”

I’m sure I’m blushing at this point, even though such joking or extra attention isn’t new for this business. I give them a hard time back, “What, your brother and sister would only be eight years older?”

Cal says, “My Momma remarried, and my brother is no more than three years older than you. I’m told he’s also good looking. Our sister is four or five years older.” I didn’t ask, but he showed a picture of them on his phone.

“And you think he’d be open to being out with me?” Cal said that it would be up to him. But if I was presenting myself as Teri, he thought he would be open to it. I was glad as he checked my leg and complimented me on how I stay in good shape. He then excused himself so I could decide on the stockings and get them on and myself out to the meeting. I enjoyed the fact that I was a little ahead. I got a much nicer pair of stockings, and Meg gave me another pair for tonight.

I was back at the meeting as it was ending. Mom asked how I was and then told me we were invited out for the evening by Lisa to a fundraising gala. Attie said, “They were pretty sure we wouldn’t be prepared, so we’ll each get two evening gowns loaned to us to choose from.”

Attie and I were each given $200 to contribute in some way during the evening. A woman’s basketball jersey from the women’s Blue Devils’ team was auctioned, and I knew Attie wanted it, but she quit bidding shortly after it went to three hundred dollars. The bid was at $425 when I bid $500 and bought it. It would cost me three hundred from my own funds. But I was sure Hattie was going to be very happy when I gave it to her.

That has become one of our joys with our success. Neither Hattie nor I were spoiled yet by having money. It was more than what we could comprehend. We’re not big stars yet, let alone superstars, but it pays real good to our way of thinking.

We were back to school by Tuesday. My old swimming coach wants me to come back out for the swimming team. I had to laugh as I’d need to wear a women’s swimsuit, but he wanted me on the boys’ team. I guess I could officially do it. But there’s no way I’m spending that much time in chlorine water practicing. Coach Bradley gives in more than he’d like so he could have me swim a little as an extra for some relays. I still refused.

Coach Hartley for the girls’ team wouldn’t even consider the hassle it would be for her team. I was a good swimmer but hadn’t put in the needed time. Patti, during this time, had fun with my situation as she asked, “If I were to see you as Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde, who should I be most scared of?”

That spooky idea got me to lean against the wall and ready to cry. I knew she was just joking, but she knew I’ve become more fragile with my emotions. Patti touches me softly, gazes into my eyes, and asks, “Is this too much for you being Teri?”

I reply, “No, it’s just that I am not used to the changes. I want to be a girl, but I wish it was done. Then I could put the pieces together like a jigsaw puzzle and go on.”

Patti smiles, “It’s taken me years to grow day by day. I’m very thankful that not everything came at once. …So I take it you like being Teri; it’s just a lot of new thoughts and feelings for you?”

I smile and move quickly to hug and kiss Patti. “Yes, and I’m so happy to have someone understand. I think my Mom thinks it might be too much. I’m afraid they might stop me. I know each day can get a bit much, but I’m managing. And when I don’t, I make that an easy day and do what I need to.”

There was a time I went into the girls’ room at school and a girl named Bridget had her blouse off to adjust her bra. She said, “Some dumb boy pulled my strap and undone it.” I paid little attention to her, and she complained. “What, you’re not gawking to see how I look?”

I giggled a little, saying, “No, I didn’t want to get blamed for doing so. If anything, I’d be jealous that you have what I don’t.”

She said, “I’m upset that the would-be girl gets more attention and can be a model.” She asks, “Do you even know how to change a bra snap?” I suspect she thinks I have others do it for me. “You know that we’re in the advanced Algebra class, but you never talk to me.”

I say, “Bridget, you’re either with your boyfriend or your girlfriends. Before you didn’t even know I was alive.”

“Not quite; it was just you were Hattie’s shadow. I thought you were a girl even then. You make a good girl. I’m glad you came out of her shadow. Would you go shopping with others, not in her group?” We met after school; Patti was with me.

Friday after school, I got a phone call from someone who called twice while I was in school. I wasn’t going to answer, but Hattie suggested otherwise. “Hi, I’m Drake, Calvin’s brother. He said. "I should call if I was willing to be with you. My friend Rob and I are willing to show you and your sister the area if you’re willing. We’re both closer to your age and, as my brothers say, not too dangerous. If you’re not afraid to be with a guy, I’m willing.”

I checked with Attie, and she hit my phone so we could see who we were talking to. Rob was there, so we heard and saw both of them. As we were hanging up, we could hear Rob, “Damn Drake, I thought you were joking. They’re hot, young but…”

To be continued…