NEIL
There was no sign of Anth at breakfast, just the kitchen staff to serve me, and it appeared that I had either missed all the other guests or there were none. Apple juice. Tea. More tea. Cereal. Tea. Then the fry-up, which got easier to eat with each mouthful. Then…

One of the kitchen girls brought me more tissues as I sat looking at the crumpets I had just toasted.

“It’s okay, Neil. Nobody else here, aye? Anth telt us what you’re up for, today, like, so no shame. We all remember her, and we all saw the news. For what it’s worth… no point to cards or flowers, we thought, but will you take a hug for her? For Maddy?”

I could, of course, so I did, and one by one, the kitchen staff stopped by to repeat the gesture.

No, Strachan. Words. Words are important to people. Calling it a gesture would imply something token, something less than honest, and their hugs were clearly from the heart. I thanked them all, and I tried to make it clear that I was similarly offering no token, that I meant the thanks. Anth had arrived by then, and I saw him watching from the dining room entrance, face a little drawn.

“You up for this, marra? Debbie’s just parked up, so Ah’ve called them in for a bit tea and toast, like. Ah just wanted to wait until ye were steady again. Okay?”

I nodded, and Debbie’s crew came in, along with Chrissy, and Anth waved them at the toaster as the girls ferried in pots of tea and cafetieres. Several of them gave me a hug or a squeeze. Shortly after they sat down, my Bethesda girls appeared with the Woodruffs, and it all got a little noisy, as Alys attached herself to me as closely as possible. Steph had a quiet word with Debbie, then took a seat at my table.

“Right. Two more friends are just parking up, and one of us is going to squeeze onto Deb’s bus, the others into our friend’s car. You ready? And Chrissy?”

“Yeah?”

“Happy with that final tune?”

“Oh, indeed. Just tray and keep your feet Earthbound, okay?”

Steph reddened slightly, but gathered her violin case and headed for the door, while the others followed her in ones and two as cups were drained and toast swallowed. I had come down ready for the day, coat over the back of my chair and…

I looked at my little bag. In a way, this would be the last breakfast I would eat with Maddy, and I nearly broke and ran for my room, but no. My woman needed her freedom, and it would be at our place, somewhere that would always be just that. Ours.

I walked out to the car park, where Debbie was waiting at the wheel of a small coach, the rest in a Ford Focus waiting behind. I t wasn’t a fifteen-seater, though, which had puzzled me, given our numbers, for it said ‘twenty’ on the side panel behind the passenger door and…

“Neil”

Clara again. I shook myself before climbing the few steps up into the thing, and took a free seat near the front, Anth following me with a carrier bag. Debbie looked over her shoulder, wordless, before starting the engine and closing the door, and we were off on the short journey to the car park I hadn’t seen for far too long, until Mike and his family had broken through. I stumbled off the bus, watching as the others gathered to stare at me, and Anth took his bag over to the coffee stand, handing him a small placard before leading the way from the car park until we came to where a faint track across the grass joined our path, where he produced another, a little like an easel, which he set up just down from the junction, adding a small sandbag to weigh it down.

It read “Memorial service at the temple. Please allow us a few minutes. We won’t be long. Thanks”

He caught my eye, and smiled.

“Car park signs for our specials, marra. Might get ignored, but, best Ah can offer”

Down and around the sides of the old fort, my memories flicking through frame by frame, and someone took my arm. I looked up, and was surprised to see Rosie.

“I’m on best behaviour today, Neil, but only as long as the arsehole count stays at zero. I thought I remembered you from the other time, and I made a couple of calls. Sapper remembered you; said how respectful you had been, both to the place and to, well, shit that we were dealing with. Deb says you’re sound, for a straight. Got your own sort of class, so here’s a message for you. Leave that cunt alone, even after he gets out of prison. Diane has her teeth in his ballsack, and she is a copper I respect. She knows how to fucking hate, so you don’t have to. Her two oppos have dropped a few hints, so there is something in the pipeline. And we know where his house is”

She looked across me to where who else but Alys was holding my other hand.

“And you didn’t hear that, girl”

Alys grinned, and it was a nasty one.

“Hear what, Rosie? Bit windy here, ah?”

One nod, and Rosie was away, just as we arrived at the little temple, the Woodruffs, Cassie and a tall lad with red hair sorting out instruments of various kinds. Anth spoke to a couple emerging from the ruins, and they simply nodded and moved away about fifty yards. Enfys called out to me.

“You up to saying a few words, love?”

I reached into my bag and touched what there was of Maddy. Take her strength.

“I… I was alone, fully, for too many years, until I met someone who ended that. We were both… Lonely. We were lonely, but it was, we were. We had what each other needed. She knew what she needed, but I had to learn, and what I needed was her, and she… My photos, they are of details. Hers were of spirit, of soul. This place, it was my landlady, a bed and breakfast, she spoke about people far away from home, having a place to go to, to shut the door, keep the strangeness away. That was Maddy for me. My own temple, with a door we could lock”

I ran out of words, but once again, Rosie surprised me.

DEBBIE
Those words from Neil, fuck. If my heart hadn’t already been close, he was breaking it, and then my sister finished the process.

“We’ve been here before, my sister here and me. We set her parents free here, as if they hadn’t lived free all their lives, and they taught my girl well, all about looking after others, paying debts, staying true to your class. Then we lost both our brothers, and my man, and finally a woman who knew how to love, how to deliver my sister from despair and bring her back to her family. Our men sleep in their native soil, and Pat dances free over her mountains. Today, we set free another woman, who knew how to love, and loved well. Can we have a few moments to remember Maddy Strachan?”

I spotted a small group approaching from the car park, but to my relief they stopped some way away, clearly respecting Anth’s sign. I almost missed the nod Debbie gave to Chrissy, and a few minutes later, I lost my own emotional control as she played out the last bit of guitar following our massed declaration about caring what the world thought of us.

Geoff and his wife moved closer, as Chrissy began playing the tune to Carl’s favourite song, and my man did me proud again with his singing, Neil’s words clear in my mind about finding what I had needed without realising the fact for so many wasted fucking years, and then Cassie was singing the Lauper, which had never been my thing, but the words, shit, they were mine, Kim’s, for all of my girls.

It was the MacColl that finally broke Neil, as Chrissy's soulful contralto moved from the first sight of the lover's face through the first kiss, and as she sang 'the first time ever I lay with you, Neil was gone, and I am sure it was only the support of Alys and Enfys that kept him from falling to his knees, or further. I flashed back to moments sitting on the floor of my airlock kitchen, my legs not knowing how I had actually arrived there. As she finished, letting a last chord ring, Chrissy was looking more than a little drained, and then Kim herself looked up.

“I never met Maddy, but I knew all of the others we’ve spoken of, and without them, well, I wouldn’t be here. Nell and Cathy, much the same. We spoke about this last night, and decided just one of us should speak. Those people, Carl, Pat, Sam, Oily, they saved and shaped our lives. Maddy did the same for our dear friend here, and I know he saved the life of Alys. Pay it back, pay it forward, doesn’t matter, as long as you pay as well as give, and giving is what our lost ones taught us. Now, I know Steph and her friends have a tune for us, so I am going to shut up before I lose it. Steph?”

The tall woman stepped forward, nodding to Chrissy and the red-haired man, who had a set of pipes, as did Chrissy. Steph started, and then they swapped leads several times, and it was a tune so wild, so fitting for the moment, that I was lost in it until the last notes. Steph lowered her fiddle.

“I will just say that Pat saved my life once, and Neil, well, you saved my friends, you set them free. Time to set your love just as free, my friend”

The wind was a Northumbrian one, sweeping over the open grassland in waves like a breezy ocean’s, and Neil fumbled a little with his bag until he held a small container. Alys leant in to kiss his cheek.

“It’s time, love. Let her dance again”

With a convulsive movement, he opened and shook the urn, and Maddy took flight.

-----0-----

NEIL
It felt strange for a few weeks, without Maddy’s presence on my mantlepiece, but Alys and the others had been right. Time not to move on, but to rebuild. I had found a mail from George and Terry awaiting me, with a choice of image from Hartside, so I set my staff printing and framing, before reconsidering and adding an order for one of our ‘canvas’ prints. No charge, of course. George and Terry had known how to give.

I was a little in limbo for the next month, drained by the whole thing, but that was broken when my mobile rang: Candice.

“Hello?”

“Hiya Neil! Got something for you, as promised”

“Sorry?”

“Nice men who need nice things, or not, in his case. Can you switch on your telly, if you have one?”

“I have”

“Right. Our boss, whom you met, Bev Williams? He’s on the next BBC news session, in two minutes, with an announcement you’ll want to hear. I’m going to hang up so you can listen, PLEASE ring me back when it’s finished”

“Okay”

She vanished, and I tuned into the BBC, and up it came.

“Nigel Forbes, convicted last year of deeply unpleasant harassment that caused a woman to take her own life, has today been charged with a number of other offences. Superintendent Bevan Williams made the following announcement this afternoon”

The steps were at the police station with the lighthouse thing, and Williams was in a really official mode or mood or whatever.

“At noon today, Nigel Forbes, currently serving a custodial sentence for criminal harassment that resulted in a woman’s suicide, was charged with a number of further offences. These range from false accounting, use of fraudulent instruments, extortion and a range of offences including deception and fraud arising from what has been termed the ‘love rat’ scam. Those latter offences so far involve nine women, and we anticipate more coming forward as they see this announcement. Indeed, we positively welcome approaches from further victims. This is another result from our Serious Crime Review team; it will be remembered how they similarly dealt with the serial and violent rapist Ashley Aaron Evans, and stress that our team does not only deal with recent cases but specialises in historic ones”

He paused, looking down at his notes.

“If there are other victims of this man, or of similar predatory behaviour, please come forward. Our current victims have been granted anonymity, so please trust us in saying that confidentiality is assured in all cases. Our contact details will be displayed after this announcement”

The screen switched to a display of phone number and e-mail address, just as my phone rang again. Candice, once more.

“Not trusting you to call me, love. Did you catch Bev?”

“Yes”

“We might need you as a witness, Neil. And it looks like we have those three ex-coppers in the frame, just for extra lolz. Would you be up for that?”

I thought for a moment, and it was a clear choice. What Kim had spoken of, about paying forward. I didn’t know them, but, well, I could make a difference for them, so did I need to? And it would most definitely hurt what so many of my friends called a ‘cunt’

“I’m in”

“Good. Something Annie told me, okay? Are we going to take down some fucking vermin?”

Only one answer was possible, so I gave it.

“Fuck, yeah!”