Blackout

Finally have one finished! Big Thank you to Columbine, who helped me get over the hump.

I have always had these . . . blackouts.

I’d be somewhere doing something, and the next thing I knew I’d be somewhere else doing something else.

Being a bit of a geek, even before I had hit my teens, I speculated about alien abductions, or maybe the beginnings of super powers, but my parents and my doctors, being a bit more grounded, decided it was ADHD. That I stopped focusing, and so made no memories during these moments.

As it turned out, everybody was wrong.

I know I am doing this out of order, and that I should introduce myself, but, after today, I don’t know for sure who I am. would have described myself as Jay Court, a typical boy despite the memory issues.

But, based on today, that was not even close to the truth.

I was playing a game on my tablet when my view of the room became fogged, then when I came back to my senses. Because what I saw looking back at me in the mirror was a girl, but it wasn’t the mirror in my bedroom. I was in a changing room in a women’s clothing shop at a local mall. I knew that because the mirror has the store name etched into the glass. I don’t know how I got there or why.

The curtain that separated me from the world outside seemed to shiver in the draft from the air conditioning, and I was terrified that the curtain would part and I could be seen.

The girl I saw was dressed in a floral print sun dress with a figure that filled the dress to perfection, she wore tan hose, sandals with a 2 inch heel, and had done her lips, eyes, and nails in sparkly red.

Her hand seemed to move beyond my control and smoothed her skirt. A smile formed on her pretty face and she blew a kiss to the mirror.
I had been letting my hair grow, but seeing it swept up in curls astonished me just on the grounds that I never could have imagined such a style being possible, especially on my head.’

Regardless, I had to figure out if I could salvage the situation, but was close to panic. Somehow looking at this girl in the mirror I seem to get calmer. She turned to the left and right and seemed to approve of her looks. She ran her fingers through the curls on her head and teased a
wilful lock into place.

I looked around and realized I had to be in a dressing room, and there was no sign of my boy clothes. I also realised that my confidence was increasing.

This was who I ought to be.

Just then I heard a voice from outside the changing room, asking if I was alright.

I replied and a sultry contralto voice answered that I was never better, and the door of the dressing room opened to reveal what I assumed was the saleslady.

“Well, didn’t you turn out lovely?” She said with a smile to my mother.

“I love the outfit, Mom. Can I have it?”

“Yes, of course, as the saleslady said, you look lovely”

I walked over to the sales point with my heels clicking on the wooden flooring. Mom and the saleslady followed behind, and I waited politely as mom’s Credit Card paid electronically.

There was a slightly strange movement on my chest, but it wasn’t uncomfortable, and I soon forgot all about it. I also noticed more movement in my hips as I walked. Was that a wiggle I
thought?

The skirt of my dress seemed to move as I walked and the wind caught it as the doors of the store swished open. I caught the skirt as if I had done it before. Stranger and stranger, I thought.

“What happened to the clothes I went into the store wearing?” I asked Mom.

“I asked the sales lady to dispose of them as you wouldn’t be needing them any more.”

“So you know what has been happening to me.”

“Yes, you don’t remember all the visits to psychiatrists and paediatricians over the years, but you should be absolutely fine now.”

“Aren’t there lots of things that have to be sorted out with a change like this?”

“Yes, but we have done the research and we will cope with all those bits of bureaucracy.

“What am I called now?”

“I was going to call my daughter Emily if you were born a girl. Do you like the name Emily?”

“Yes, I think it suits me. I never like being called Jay.”

“You told me that a while ago. That’s when we got this ball rolling.”

“But why don't I remember any of this?”

“Well, when you were just a toddler, we took you over to my father - your grandfather’s place, because we had to go out. From what we have learned your cousin, my sister’s girl Courtney, got you playing dressup. And ... Well, my father was not happy. After that, the boy side of you seemed to be in charge, and the girl side would only come out in spurts, and then when the boy side came back, you would have no memory of the time the girl side was in charge.”

....

Much later, I laid in my bed, and felt something unlock in my mind, and all the memories came back - not just what my grandfather had done, but every time I had blacked out since.

And then I fell asleep, and dreamed of Emily and Jay making peace. Emily thanked Jay for holding me together, and Jay said his time as protector had come to an end.

So it was goodbye Jay, and hello Emily, and I would be whole going forward into the future.

Doesn’t sound all that bad a plan to me.

End.

All Comments appreciated, folks!