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Quite a journey
Dearest Emma,
This story is a magnificent achievement, and I mean that whole-heartedly. A tale of overcoming demons, a tale of love and loss, a tale of mistakes, prejudice, tragedy, and triumph...and most of all, a tale of family. These characters live and breathe on each and every page, with writing that wonderfully captures their hopes, their fears, their dreams, and more. Complex yet also simple, woven together in a marvelous tapestry and offering a wondrous mirror to Life. Be proud of this one - it has tremendous depths to its heart and spirit, all conveyed with grace to the avid reader's soul.
Thank you for the weekly trips to Carmen's universe and unique perspective!!
Much love,
Erisian <3
Thank you, Seraph
I must have done something right, if I get a song of praise from a member of the heavenly choir!
Seriously, though, I am so glad you were able to join this journey. I know your work has been crazy, and in what spare time you have, you’ve got a far larger story to bring to a conclusion. I really appreciate the time and thought that you have given to each of these postings.
Your description of the story . . . yes. That’s what I was aiming for. Sometimes I feared I might have lost the thread, there were so many things going on. It’s a relief to know that in the end, it held together. Thank you!
— Emma
thank you for sharing this
thank you for sharing this with us a lot of the chapters took us to a special place that caused us to think and feel and for this we should all be grateful to you for your efforts
Thanks, Lisa
It’s very hard to know, when I’m writing, whether other people will feel the story in the same way. It means a great deal to me to know it touched you.
— Emma
So Much Of Life In This Tale
Emma, I honestly hated some of your chapters so much I vowed I would abandon your story. You don't write for one to read but invite the reader into the story with the actors and actresses. We don't read your stories, we live them. There could be no better ending to the story than a non ending where it doesn't end. Not in your continuation writing about Carmen and everyone's life. In leaving it for the readers to coast on into eternal bliss knowing Carmen has found life is worth living. She has support not only from her lover but also from family. "the good ones".
Hugs Emma, love you sugar but lets not dig so deep into the soul with the next one. I've hugged Elvis and petted enough goats for awhile. Or maybe not.
Barb
A lifetime has slipped by the past nine months. I've been blessed more than anyone I know. Matthew 26:41
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
Goats needing petting!
Even if you’re in a cheerful mood. Don’t be neglecting them critters!
I know this was a hard story. I wasn’t even sure what kind of a caution to tack on it, other than “language” (all my girls talked smack!). It dealt with rejection and abandonment and prejudice. It touched on PTSD and drugs and abuse of women and homelessness. But none of those things individually, it seemed to me, really defined the story.
The only way the story worked was to see the worst of what happened to Carmen through her flashbacks. That way, at least, you know she’d survived it all. That allowed the story to be more centered on resilience, redemption, and rebirth. Even those topics aren’t exactly light.
Thank you for staying with it to the NOT bitter NOT end. I mean, it’s an end; the story had a frame, and this was the planned conclusion, more-or-less, or Carmen’s story arc. But as you say, more than most stories, it’s a non-end as well. We don’t have a “happily-ever-after” conclusion, we just have a moment of hopefulness. Carmen has resolved the task that brought her to Buttonwillow, and in the process she has healed some long-broken relationships and served as a major catalyst for change and growth in her family. I’m glad you were able to make it, and I’ve enjoyed all of your thoughtful comments.
— Emma
Thank you
First it was Duets. Then Aria. Maximum Warp. The numerous short stories. Each with very different styles. Very different stories. But the one thing that they all share is the ability to suck you in and make you think. So many stories in this community follow a small set of formulas. Your stories are about people who happen to be transgender, rather than a transgender person (if that makes sense).
Thank you for sharing your tales. I always look forward to seeing your name show up. No pressure, but what's next? Mondays won't come with anywhere NEAR the anticipation that they have been.
Source
Stories about people
Thank you for your lovely comment, and for having read so many of my stories. Goodness! I absolutely understand what you are getting at when you talk about “stories about people who happen to be trans.” At the end of the day, however central being trans is to our experience, it is not the only thing that defines us, or the only thing that matters.
The bottom line is that I really love people. I think they are endlessly fascinating, radiant in their joy, beautiful in their brokenness, sometimes desperate, sometimes awful. Sometimes hideous. Their myriad relationships are a puzzle to me, one that’s far more complicated and interesting than any murder mystery. This is a site for trans fiction and I am trans, so I write people who are trans. But some of my best characters, honestly, were ones who aren’t. Abuela, Janet Seldon, Governor Sam Hobson, Caesar Trentino, Major Kyle Stewart, Holweard of Holweard’s Hollow, Judge Roger Danforth . . . I could go on.
As for what’s next? For the first time in nine months, I’ve got no deeds to do, no promises to keep! It may be a bit before I have another story out, light, dark, or pumpkin spiced. :)
— Emma
this was an amazing story from beginning to end
thank you so much for sharing it with us, huggles!
Thanks for flying Air-e-Tate!
Thank you, Dot. Your huggles are jet fuel. Always.
— Emma
Nice end of the beginning chapter
All the main threads conclude with a hopeful beginning vibe, that’s nice.
A full on happily ever after ending would have been too much.
Quality till the end.
Congratulations on a wonderful epic Emma!
Your knack for writing stories with great emotional depth and puzzle piece plotting has yet to fall us yet.
I say this in forgiving you for the bit of t-girl boyfriend fulfillment fantasy that is Andar.
Kind of a hall pass?
I threw enough grit and gristle into Carmen’s story that I thought I could get away with a little t-girl fulfillment fantasy. Thanks for indulging it. :)
I know I’ve said it before, but you have such thoughtful and penetrating comments, whether I’m shootings for realism or crazy SciFi humor. Thank you for your support for my writing. It means a lot to me.
— Emma
Another saga comes to an end.
The depth of this story is astounding. Yet, we stepped into it twenty years after the true tale had begun. You started with a hook that demanded attention, the forced return of a transgender person to the estranged, bigoted family that threw her out. Trapped as it were, by the demands of the matriarch of that family that doesn't take no for an answer.
Then you skillfully wove in the details of the past twenty years bit by bit when needed to understand what was motivating the characters. With the skill of a master-crafts-person, you brought in tension and crisis in equal measure with satisfaction and solution.
None of it was rushed, nor did drag, (unless you count the seven day doldrums between postings.) We were caught up in the dramas in the lives of multiple characters, sitting on the edge of our proverbial seats waiting for the solution.
This multifaceted tale centered around Carmen, but her story was just the connecting point of all the other drama in the other's lives. Each facet carried its own bit of angst and fulfillment.
Reading the acknowledgements I got an insight as to how you can write such gripping and intriguing stories and why I have no hope off coming any where near as good a story. You have the tenacity and the organizational skills of the best of the best writers. The prep before you even organized the direction of the story astounds me.
I'm honored to be able to read your work.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin ein femininer Mann
It certainly didn’t rush!
But I can’t tell you how much it relieves me that you didn’t think it dragged. Although the story isn’t much longer than Aria, I posted the earlier story in much bigger chunks over the course of two months. I’ve never tried to hold an audience for anything like this long, and indeed, the numbers started to sag noticeably after Chapter 30 went into the rear-view mirror. I could almost imagine people looking at their screens and muttering, “come on, dammit, get to the point!” But I’d put a lot of balls into the air by then, so I was committed to finding ways to catch them.
I think Carmen’s strength as a character (and as a person) is that she really sees people. She may think she’s the main character in her story, as she tells Andar in Chapter 39 as they float down the Kern, but she doesn’t see others as existing only in relation to her. They have their own stories, that’s all. She sees everyone in the story as real and vital, and she’s the narrator, so we get the benefit of that.
As for my organizational talents, I think my friend Iolanthe would laugh at my “organization.” What I have, at this point, is a single document full of scraps of information, odd bits of research (different swing dance steps, and commands used at shooting ranges, and Buttonwillow’s demographics, and the lineage of Alphonso Philippe Oliveres y Cortez . . . that sort of thing), together with rejected story snippets. At this point there’s no rhyme or reason to it, other than each new piece getting dropped at the end. :)
Thank you for supporting this story — heavens, you even gave it a blog serenade! I’m delighted that you enjoyed it. :)
— Emma
Welllllllllll……….
First, thank you for including me in such august company amongst your acknowledgments. And second, thank you for once again sharing your wonderful talent with me; you have an unbelievable knack for bringing my emotions to the fore. To borrow a line from James Fenimore Cooper’s character, Cora Monroe, “It is more deeply stirring to my blood...then any imagining could possibly have been."
You have an uncanny ability to have me clenching my fists in anger one moment, and bawling my eyes out in the next. But perhaps more telling, your stories do more than simply make me feel, they make me think.
Carmen’s abuela made an observation that I had already planned on making in this comment - that different people grow up at different times in their lives, and for different reasons. To quote Kevin Costner’s character Roy McAvoy in “Tin Cup”, “When a defining moment comes along, you can do one of two things. Define the moment, or let the moment define you.” Your story has shown how different members of Carmen’s family handle those defining moments. Carmen grows when confronted with her father’s stroke and her family’s actions - as does her brother Ximo, and eventually many of the other members of her family as well. Although it takes many of them much longer to get there, and only when forced to face some of their own prejudices and skeletons.
But not everyone grows up. Some people let the moment define them, and they will always be less because of it.
Carmen’s response to Andar when he asked her if she knew she was transgender in elementary school was right on the money, “I knew I didn’t fit, somehow.” Yeah, been there, felt the same way. I knew I didn’t fit. I knew I was different. But I didn’t know why, or how I was different. How many of us here could say the same thing? If only I had been born a few decades later than I was. Perhaps I would have been Carmen - well, without the Hispanic heritage, lol. But I think that my deep southern family could have given her family a run for their money when it comes to anti-LGBT prejudices and actions, with a whole lot of redneck thrown in just for good measure!
Our foliage peak was somewhat disappointing here in upstate NY, thanks to the dry summer we had. But we seem to be making up for the lack of rain the past few weeks - I am listening to the wind blowing rain into the windows on our house as I type this; today being pretty much a washout, although we did have a few hours of sunshine late morning and early afternoon. I am looking forward to three weeks sailing starting this weekend. We will be departing Port Canaveral on Monday, and if the weather cooperates, under sail by Monday evening. Our original plan this year was to head for Turks and Caicos, but with Trump’s little war on Venezuelan boats in that area, we are looking at perhaps stying round the Keys, or perhaps the Bahamas, or Puerto Rico. My 42’ Bruce Roberts Spray ketch is very seaworthy, but no match for a destroyer - even though she carries RRF designation, I have no desire to put that to the test. I made a career out of calling for fire from US Navy warships, and I have seen up close and personal what it is like to be on the receiving end of that gift, lol.
D. Eden
“Hier stehe ich; ich kann nicht anders. Gott helfe mir.”
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
Good sailing, my friend!
And, stay safe. Especially in DeSantistan.
Your comments are amazing, always. You have an incredible wealth of personal experience, but more, you are willing to share extraordinarily deep feelings when a story moves you. And, you seem to delight in commenting on comments, which allows the comment space to morph into a genuine conversation. When people ask what moves folks to write and post stories, you get a wide variety of responses, but I guess the most common is that it’s a way to process things. I use it for that, too, but mostly, I think, I like to spark conversations. Especially conversations about topics I really find interesting.
Thank you for being here. Thank you for making my writing better, and more enjoyable for me. Someday, I hope, I will talk you into writing your own story. It’s far more compelling than any of my fiction.
— Emma
One of the Greats
I could tell the story was winding down, but I was genuinely surprised to see that the title was the final chapter, but you ended it beautifully. This is one of the best tales that's been put up on this site. Everything about this was amazing! Please see that you get this published onto Amazon Kindle - it's not a huge task to get it done, and this deserves to be published! When I get some time down the road I will have to re-read the whole thing from the start again.
Thank you for sharing Carmen's tale!
It was my very great pleasure.
I don’t think there’s a market for my stories on Amazon. The most successful of the ones I published is rated as something like 833 in the category of transgender fiction! That’s okay, though. Like I said to Dallas, half the fun of writing is sparking an interesting conversation. Here, I have that.
I really should go back to the beginning myself and do another round of edits. Discontinuities may have popped up as the story progressed. If I used AI — which I very much don’t— it could probably tell me that!
Thank you for the kind words, Tiffany. :)
— Emma
nicely done.
All wrapped up, but not too neatly. But what am I going to read next Monday? There are several other stories I'm following but none of them have me anticipating the next installment like this one did.
I’d recommend. . . .
I’d certainly recommend Maeryn’s latest . . . but she’s going to be done posting it by next Monday!
Thank you for your kind words, and for your comments throughout the story. So glad it grabbed you. :)
— Emma
Gracias
Las lágrimas de felicidad son un gran regalo, si?
Love, Andrea Lena
Happy tears
Lots of tears in this story, but happy tears at the end. Gracias, hermana de mi corazon.
— Emma
Ooops
Lo siento. Duplicado.
Love, Andrea Lena
Thanks for taking us along on this ride
An excellent wrap up to an excellent novel. While we're not left with knowing everything about every character in the future, what we are left with is hope. Even those in the family who don't approve of Carmen have learned to acknowledge her more politely. There is hope in repairing the relationships with both her parents. What more can you ask for?
“Nobody fucks with a Morales!”.... “You think your generation came up with that?”
Now I have to find something else that I can get excited about on Mondays!
Hope
I wanted this to be a hopeful story. Not optimism, necessarily; optimism weighs the odds. Hope does not. It is a decision we make, sometimes despite the longest odds. The decision to doggedly pursue the best possibility, rather than spend all our energy protecting against the worst. That’s the significance of Carmen’s reflection at the end of the story, when she communes again with the mother of her heart. She’d been scared, but she came back anyway.
As for the battle-cry of clan Morales . . . yeah, that was fun to write. Gives you the idea that Angel was a very different person when he was young!
— Emma
Hands down...
My favorite all time read over multiple sites I've dabbled on! This story excelled at so many things, like character development, to full spectrum story arcs for many of those characters that were deeper than just cursory footnotes and gave us a better look at Carmen and her journey. I like just about any story where there's a growing love story and this had it - along with regrowing powerful / loving family ties. The drama portrayed in this wonky family felt real - with real life situations, real heartache, real circumstances / consequences / prejudices that weren't glossed over or candy coated. I am a sucker for real life (RL) as I've maybe mentioned once or two-hundred times before 'atcha! lol
I believe this story could be turned into a screen play and then be something easily made into one of the big streaming services original movies or mini-series. Granted with all things anti-Trans out there right now that's not likely to happen, but wow - what a great bit of entertainment this could be to watch on the TV screen, not just as a read - which has it's own set of comforts / dreamy thoughts / visuals. Speaking of reads - I 100% agree that it should be published as someone else mentioned already! It really is that worthy of a story. Please look into that!
Thanks for the shout-out and thank you for the trust in knowing I'd never call your baby ugly when I pushed a rare time or two for you to give us a bit more in some situation you'd wrote. Our best collab to date and made more enjoyable because it was with my best girl friend on this site! <3 Hugz Chica!
Hugz!
Rachel M. Moore
Not enough space here
There’s not enough space here to discuss the many ways you made this story better. Your enthusiasm alone, your desire to get your hands on the next installment, was a powerful motivator to keep writing.
I’m too close to the story right now to compare it to other things I’ve written, much less other things I’ve read. But if it came out well, know you absolutely had a hand in that (and if it didn’t— ha! — that’s on me!). Hugz back atcha!
— Emma
Great story!
And beautifully wrapped up, too. Your skill is absolutely impressive!
... Part of my inner dialogue after reading the previous chapter:
"Really good story. Wonder where it will wrap."
"It's a soap."
"What?! No way! I hate soaps, and this story is great!"
"Great, yes. But a soap."
"It is anything but soapy! A soap is a chewing gum that gives you nothing. This story gives a lot!"
"Soaps do give, a lot. Otherwise women wouldn't love them so much."
"Oh, shut up. Women are weird. At least for me. I never get them."
"Then maybe you should. One person might be stupid. Half the humankind cannot be, whatever the jokes say."
"True, but... I never get soaps, and I loved this story!"
"See? There is a soap you got and loved. What is the lesson?"
"Dunno. Maybe the protagonist being trans, she is closer to men, enough that I get her?"
"Nah. She is even farther from men than the average woman. Try again."
"The writer being that?"
"Same. Wrong direction. Seek better."
"Maybe... she being trans is just the pretext that allowed me to understand her? See through the 'women are weird', for a moment?"
"Maybe. :)"
"Oh, come on! You are me, how's that you are hiding something from me?!"
"I'm not. YOU are hiding it from yourself. How else that can happen?"
"Different packaging brings differences, but deeper down we are the same?"
"Don't be banal. It's that deep down we are the same enough to overcome the differences. To understand one another."
"Well, so much with the women being a riddle? Even to themselves"
"Oh, no. Men are a riddle too, both to women and to themselves. Everyone is. Part of being human."
"So, it turns out, I needed to read a soap to learn all that?"
"It's not a soap."
"Wait, what?! You convinced me it is a soap!"
"You needed that to see through your prejudices and delusions."
"And you are channeling Abuela."
"Anything wrong with that?"
"Yes. You're plagiarizing!"
"Tell Emma that. :)"
"I will!"
":)..."
So, thank you, Emma, for teaching me a valuable lesson!
And yes, your other lessons from this story aren't missed too - they are just too many to include in a comment! :)
Everyone needs an inner Abuela!
And certainly I gave mine a name, a face, and a voice in this story. I loved your dialogue!
As to the soapy question, I bristled at it when it was brought up earlier. But I did a little research, and decided a little shamefacedly that it’s a fair cop. When I googled “what are the defining characteristics of a soap opera,” the AI gave me this: “Defining characteristics of soap operas include serialized, ongoing narratives, melodramatic storytelling with heightened emotions, a focus on personal relationships and family dynamics, and the use of cliffhangers to create suspense.” Umm. Yup. Kern checked every box. Every. Single. Box.
But then I asked myself how I got there, and the answer, surprisingly, boiled down to the parameters I’d set for the story from the beginning. First and foremost, the story had to be real. More real than “hey, could happen!” More like, here’s a story where every damned thing has happened to people here. I know transwomen who’ve been ostracized by their families when they were discovered. I know people who’ve had to deal with estrange parents who have falling very ill. I’ve known women like Kelsey, and like Innie. I’ve known places like Buttonwillow, and I’ve known their pathologies. I have been blessed to know saints like Sister Catalina, and pious fools like Aunt Maria, and those who struggle to do right, like tia Consola. I’ve known pendejos like Dace Gutierrez, and operators like Uncle Fernando. I wanted to tell a story about those people. All of them.
(Okay . . . I’ll admit, I pushed the envelope with Andar Kasparian. Sorry, Kimmie!)
Anyhow, that also meant that the action had to stay plausible. The sort of thing any of us might see, on any quotidian day. Dace was a nightmare, for sure, but he was dealt with in the normal course, by the police, and out of the protagonist’s sight. No car chases, no last stands, no evil monologue as Carmen desperately seeks a way out of the zip-ties that pin her to the railroad tracks.
But if the characters are regular people, dealing with the regular dramas that crop up in life — especially family dramas — then, it’s pretty much going to be clocked as a soap. It’s why it felt that way to you, and to a few others. I haven’t watched enough soaps to have a feel for them, but based on my research the conclusion is hard to avoid. Oh, well. Maybe I understand why women like them, now. :)
— Emma
Soapy questions, slippery answers...
Art goes beyond definitions, or at least should. Yes, formally Kern checks every box of being a soap. At the same time however, it is nothing like that, at least in my eyes.
I think that is because soaps tend to be empty of actual content and food for growth. They supply you emotions to enjoy, but no lessons to learn from this. At least because, given the volume of a typical soap, it will not be possible to find so many lessons to pack in it, to achieve acceptable percentage of them per volume. And even if you dig enough of them, you will exhaust all of these lessons on one soap only.
Kern is packed with lessons even more than with emotions. Well, at least for me - obviously I have to learn a lot, and by far not only about transpeople. :) That is why it definitely doesn't check the "soap" box with me. My inner Abuela might pretend so to help me go beyond my zone of comfort, but this is not the same as actually thinking so. :)
Sure, all the action in it stays plausible. But this is not the same as mundane or dull. Spaceships blasting rays and villains with evil monologues are the cheap way to make your product feel interesting. Making it interesting with ordinary and plausible action requires skill, and you showed a truckload of it. I'm envying you at it. :)
(That is something I tried to do - without much of success - with "Statistically Speaking". The bodysuits I describe there could easily have turned the MCs into superheroes, but that would distract from the ordinary that makes the ordinary people great in their own way. So, my apologies to Damiano and Carla, but they didn't got tons of actions and James Bond style fights. They got instead ordinary people to deal with - some nice and some not so much, some twisted by fate but none really evil. Even Puglizi, who is anything but ordinary, mostly stayed behind the scenes, despite being interested in these bodysuits... And I hope they will forgive me for this.
That said, I already know how their next adventure starts - but almost nothing beyond this. The main part of it, which is the material that makes the reader think and learn from, "hasn't happened yet". They haven't told me anything about it, so far... Hope that some day they will.)
I hope so, too!
It would be a treat to see more stories from you!
— Emma
The box that Kern checks that soaps don't
Soaps are written with no intention of ending or drawing a conclusion. They travel from on crisis to another and tend to leave the characters unfulfilled. They never gather all the loose ends and wrap them up as being resolved tied neatly in a bow.
Kern, to spite it's similarity to a soap in that there were multiple dramas going on with the emotions and fears of realistic people marched unerringly to a conclusion if not an end.
As to Andar, OK, he may have been just a little bit idolized, I believe, because I have to, that people like him exist. We only got to see the surface of Andar. He was never put to the test of a crisis that affected him directly. Everything he dealt with affected someone he cared for.
I think he saw something in Carmen that he admired; that he would admire in anyone, trans or not. She had been rejected and thrown out on her ear, and yet when the chips were down, she came trough for the family that did that to her, even at personal expense. How could you not admire that? As he got to know her more that admiration turned to affection and finally to love. Perhaps a rare bird, but why is it so hard to believe that he could exist?
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin ein femininer Mann
Thought of that
I guess I kind of proved it’s not a soap the way Worf suggested that Q prove himself to be mortal: “Die.” :)
I thought of one more thing, too: if this had been a soap, there’s no way Domingo the Younger would have turned out to be Juan’s son. The father would have been Fernando, or Javier, or even señor Cortez. Anyone but Kathy’s husband!
— Emma
Thank you
I won't say this was a lovely story, even though I loved reading it – it was rather too gritty for such an adjective. Great would be a better description, or magnificent. Some of the various family reconciliations at the end were perhaps a little unexpected but managed still to stay within the boundaries of plausibility, and I must admit to having become a little emotional at how 'You...are...Car...men?' was followed a bit later by 'Gracias'. And thank you for stopping where you did, with enough closure but also a clear indication that life goes on afterwards.
Not fitting in, somehow, at school does bring back memories too, although Carmen was much quicker than I to figure out what that somehow was. Lately, though, those memories have started their own transition to involve me more as the girl I was instead of the boy I tried to learn how to roleplay.
So, good night to you as well, and sweet dreams.
I wonder
I wonder whether Carmen figured it out earlier because of when she was born. She would have entered Middle School in 2006. Information about trans people was everywhere, and while there were plenty of folks who found the whole idea icky, that hadn't yet soured into a mania, much less hardened into an ideology. When I was eleven, I don't think I'd ever even heard of transgender people. Maybe by the time I was eighteen? Maybe? I didn't grow up in a big city, and it's not like this stuff was on the Nightly News. You and I might have figured out we were trans much earlier if we, too, had just had access to decent information. It's undoubtedly one of the reasons the right are trying so hard to supress that kind of data.
I'm glad you liked where this ended. Little peak behind the curtain . . . in my original, informal, and never-written-down concept of the story, it would end about where it did, but the punctuation mark would be padre's death. The stroke was serious, it wasn't caught anywhere near in time, and his outlook wasn't good. His death would create a big moment of carthasis, the family would gather one last time, and they would need to deal with Carmen in that mix. As the story progressed, however, I started to have doubts about that ending. First, it was too neat. Second, it felt like too much of an echo to the way I'd ended Aria (excluding the epilogue). But padre's salvation ultimately didn't result from those misgivings. It happened because, much to my surprise, Ximo grew up.
It seems strange to say that I'm surprised by my own story, but it's true. This isn't even the first time I've written a bit character into a story and they've refused to stay in a box; Janet Seldon in MaxWarp is probably the best example. Here, though, as Ximo slowly came to terms with his father's condition, his sister's return, the revelations about their mother, and all the rest, he became absolutely essential to the story. In the process, he became the answer to the dilemma of what to do with padre when Carmen, inevitably, had to get on her white horse and ride into the sunset. It allowed her to say, in effect, "my job here is done."
Yes, this way there is obviously far more to the story than fits inside the frame. Life does indeed go on, and Ximo will have his work cut out for him. And Carmen will have to somehow juggle a new job, the end of her classes, a transition away from the safety and security of the shared apartment in Santa Ana, while at the same time continuing to deepen her family ties and build a romantic relationship. But we can safely say that all of that is another tale. Maybe it will be told someday, and maybe it won't, but we can all imagine it, regardless.
Thank you for your kind words, and for joining me on this long adventure.
— Emma
It seems strange to say that I'm surprised by my own story
Not at all. The stories that I've written that had no surprises for me; that stayed inside the frame work of the inspiration, were in the end, dull, mundane and utterly forgettable.
It's the surprises that we have to include and make adjustments to the story so the character or what the character does will flow, that bring the story to life and gives the reader something to chew on.
In the same way discovering the surprise element is what happens while the author is fleshing out the story outline.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin ein femininer Mann
Carmen's New Pic
Encapsulates the journey she has taken. Now she is confident and definitely not hiding in the shadows. She entered the fray on sufferance and out of her sense of duty and was immediately confronted with all the grievances she had thought she had left behind.
Over the course of the story she has won over half of the family and achieved an armed truce with those who are still most prejudiced. Even her Padre seems to have accepted that he has a daughter. She too has grown and you have shown that most convincingly chapter by chapter.
Others have said that Andar is too good to be true. I don't buy that. There may be a little wish-fulfillment in the relationship between him and Carmen, but every story is allowed a bit of "happily ever after" and your main characters deserve it.
I can't match some of the comments already posted. I can only echo what many of them say. MAGNIFICENT/GREAT, and if only you could publish. I do wish the social scene was more conducive to this being on a best-seller list.
I'm looking forward to your next tour de force.
Cover Art
Yay!!!! I was so hoping someone would notice the cover art! I spent almost as much time on it as I spent writing the last chapter! It took so long, because I wanted so much from it. I wanted you to be able to compare it to the cover art I used throughout, and immediately see the beginning and the end-point of Carmen's story arc.
The primary cover uses bleached colors and cool tones. The scenery is bleak -- an old, abandoned gas station. A power substation. Dusty ground and a dark, brooding sky. Carmen is at the margin of the picture, partly out of the frame. Her face is turned away, and she looks apprehensive. All of that is inverted in the cover for Finale. I used rich, warm, saturated colors in the background. Carmen is in the center of the frame, face forward, a slight smile on her lips, her top a vibrant flame-red. She looks confident and put together. I think you can look at the two covers and get an intuitive sense of the entire novel. I hope so, anyway!
Thank you for helping me with this story, for reading it faithfully even when it grew difficult, and for your wonderful, thoughtful, and uplifting comments. I can only echo what I said to nuestra hermana Andrea -- gracias, hermana de mi corazon. Muchos gracias!
— Emma
Emma!
I didn't have chance to comment on every single chapter, but I always looked forward to Mondays to read this wonderful story. As usual Emma, you've done a fantastic job and brought us a brilliant tale in a different setting. Having trans experiences that are not all white picket fence, Home town USA adventures is critical to showing how real we are. Sad stories that come good, new places, cultures and worlds.
Carmen was a wonderful strong woman. Like many of your protagonists, she has fire that inspires and she has a backbone, despite what she has experienced.
I adored it! Great work!
I like Turtles.
Backbone
Yeah, I like a protagonist who can fight. :)
Thank you so much, Alyssa. You know your words carry all the more weight, since I’m a huge fan! (And if anyone needs something to restore their faith in humanity after reading Carmen’s saga — if you find yourself craving something that’s got humor as well as depth, and writing that puts mine to shame, you won’t find a better story than Alyssa’s Fake It ‘til You Make It. If you haven’t read it, treat yourself!)
— Emma
High level
As always your level of writing is very high and the stories keep us chained until the very end.
Thank you, Max!
I’ll have to release the chains now and give you your Mondays back — but I’m so happy you stayed for all of it!
— Emma
Ten months plus
Ten months ago you posted the first chapter, and who knows how many months was the run-up to chapter one? (I'm sure *you* know, but for the rest of us, Kern began back in January.
It's a great piece of work -- quality writing that never flagged. A large cast of characters, but no problem remembering who's who.
The ending is perfect: not Hollywood, thank god, but with the hope of a normal relationship between Carmen and her father, and a mutual respect and understanding between Carmen and her grandmother. Not a passing of the torch, either, which is smart -- you leave us with the knowledge that the story, and the repaired relationships, will continue. Carmen's either directly improved the lives of her relatives, or served as a catalyst for their betterment, and the capstone is Abuela's recognition of that fact.
You deserve a vacation after this capolavoro. I salute you, and offer thanks for hours of reading-because-I-can't-stop.
hugs,
- iolanthe
The ending this story needed
I think this was the ending this story needed. Relationships have been reset. Some feel strong; others are tentative. Brittle. Padre remains a question mark. Will he survive? Will he regain all his memories . . . and with them, his prejudices? But the key element is that Carmen has forced them to deal with her, one way or another, as the person she has made herself rather than the stunted child she was eleven years before.
I’m pretty sure I started writing this back in early 2024. I shared the first couple chapters with Joanne and Sara in early March, 2024. But I got stuck at the point where Lupe tells Carmen that Abuela is blind, and that’s pretty much where the story languished until after the Christmas holidays. Som yeah . . . it’s been a long haul. As I said above, I’m too close to it yet to say whether it’s my best work — but I can say it has probably taken more of my time, tears, and sweat than any other!
Thank you so much for being part of this story’s community. I always love your comments. :)
— Emma
I’m too close to it yet to say whether it’s my best work
I'm not sure I could say if Kern is your best work. Not because I'm too close, but because you have so many that are in excellent-plus category. This one is certainly in the running.
One of the reasons it's so hard to pick your best is because, while all of your work here contains that "T" element for the trans genre, the sub-genres are varied. Everything from Sci-Fi comedy to romance to super natural to drama. Almost all of your work contains multiple sub-genre elements as well.
I'm sure you struggle at times, what author doesn't? What's important to us readers is that you have the perseverance to work through those struggles and you never leave us hanging, waiting for the next installment.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin ein femininer Mann
Thank you so much, Emma
This one was a long and crazy journey, but worth it all the more.
Carmen drove into a difficult and complicated situation. And there were potential land mines all around. But somehow Carmen navigated through them and found vastly more acceptance than she had feared or I had thought likely at the outset. And you made the story breathe and feel real.
Congratulations!
I made my own journey back to Oklahoma where I grew up and Texas where I have family and friends. I found acceptance from my sisters but rejection from one brother. But I also found acceptance from an old high school classmate (who is a lawyer!) and checked up on my elderly Tia who is 92 now. I was in drab, but she saw a couple signs. But she called me again this week.
All your stories affect me. This one in a different way and perhaps more deeply.
All the best!
Gillian Cairns
Thank you, Gillian
It seems that your family is a bit of a mixed bag, which I'm guessing is true for most of us. It's why I had a real desire to tell Carmen's story, since it is a story of family as much as anything. What can you do, but celebrate those who embrace you, and mourn the ones who can't or won't?
Your comments always show such a depth of both wisdom and experience. If my stories touch you, know that your comments have touched me just as much. Thank you.
— Emma
Aloha Carmen Morales
No, I'm not from Hawaiʻi but I went there once and it seems a fitting term. We say goodbye to Carmen in Emma's most excellent story, at the same time we see that Carmen has said "Hello, I'm me, I'm not going away." and come to terms with her family. So what better than a word that is used for both hello and goodbye?
I was, unfortunately, preoccupied with real life that week when this last chapter came out. But I told family about this great story and some of Carmen's struggles. Joking I told them that it was ok that I missed a week, I'd get to read two chapters sequentially in a single sitting. Then when finally getting to log in, I saw this title "Finale" I was so dismayed I couldn't bring myself to read it when I had the time; I dilly-dallied with other pretty-good stories instead. Finally I went back and re-familiarized myself in chapters 38 and 39 before jumping into 40 this morning.
Loved the party scene, kind of reminds me of our family get-togethers from years past. Grandpa was born on July 4th so that became a must-go-to activity every year. Despite his death in 1975, most continued to gather on that day it again and again for decades. Emma's words transformed these good memories to where I could see it all in my mind's eye, and I wished I could have a glass from the keg Andar brought to also taste it.
Many thanks for hours of entertainment Emma. You voice is a treasure; I'd never know you were not a Southern Californian, this seemed so authentic. I'd kick myself for not reading this last episode sooner, but now I can willingly go back and vicariously enjoy Carmen's journey all over again.
>>> Kay
Let nothing you dismay!
On the bright side, 'Finale' was about twice the length of most of the chapters in Carmen's story, so you really did get a double helping. Just for skeets and giggles, I made a novel-style version of the story once I was done that omitted all the chapter introductions ("when last we left our heroine") and put chapter breaks in places that made sense from the perspective of someone reading the story cover-to-cover. In that version, 'Finale' is about three chapters!
Thank you so much for coming along for this long ride and for your many wonderful comments. I am thrilled that you were touched by the story, and that it seems to have brought back good memories. Mahalo!
— Emma
I want a copy
I'm up for reading a novel length version. It would be great to go through it, breaking when I got tired of reading or when RL required, instead of peace meal... one (short) chapter at a time. I can easily read 20K words in a single setting and look for more.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin ein femininer Mann
Of course!
Shoot me a pm with your email address and I’ll be happy to send you the pdf. :)
— Emma
Names
Just went through the story a second time, this time without the wait between episodes. Can't say much if anything that hasn't been said by others above: solid plot, powerful scenes, memorable characters with real development.
Wanted to ask, as long as I'm here: I'd never seen the name Dace anywhere else. I assume since the guy is Latino it'd be pronounced Dah-say, but that pretty nearly eliminates all the references I can find online or even conjecture. (Latvian for Dorothy, Gaelic (?) for "from the south", feminine nickname for Candace, since "Candy" has been non-tenable for around half a century now.)
And would they pronounce Ximo in Kern County with a hard or soft X? (Were they still showing "Hemo the Magnificent" in junior high school science classes when you were that age? Not relevant, of course -- I know Ximo's a common nickname -- but it's what I thought of when reading it.)
Eric
Dace
Here's my source, from nameberry:
I wanted something distinctive, and I liked the connection to both "thick" and "dense" for multiple reasons. ;-) I figured his parents might have wanted to be different.
As for Joaquim's nickname, it’s derived from Catalan rather the Castilian Spanish, and the pronunciation appears to have regional variations that fall somewhere on a spectrum between “TZEE-moe” and SHEE-moe.” For purposes of this story think of the Xi combo as being similar to the pronunciation of the Chinese President’s first name, but softer. Maybe “ZSHEE-moe.” And . . . yeah. I saw "Hemo the Magnificent" when I was in seventh grade. It's the sort of thing that sticks in my brain, like, forEVER!
I'm glad that the story held up to a long read. Thank you so much for your comment!
— Emma
So much has been said by those who say it better... but...
... I want to say thank you and wow, what an achievement this story is. The complexity not so much of the plot but the relationships and conversations and feelings and memories and emotions... you managed them so well. There is a lot to be learned in this novel. It strains my little lizard brain at times. lol
It's been said that a great story isn't so much about what happens, but how it makes the reader feel. This is a grand example of that statement. I almost lost it when Abuela "sees" Carmen at the end. That was, to me, a cinematic moment. ♥
Not to be petty, but I may (will) steal this line from you: it looked like Jesus was in charge of music. Brilliant!
Best wishes and again, congratulations on baring your soul and your passions with us.
Jesus, take the remote!
Thank you, Daphne. I am so very glad you enjoyed this, especially since you are right in the midst of posting your own big family epic, and have a good sense of the complexity! I am also touched that the final scene hit home with that kind of force. Abuela is an exceptionally complicated character who is hard to love — and who, to all appearances, is wholly untroubled by being so. Her parting would never be effusive or sentimental. But I think your character Colleen might recognize the value of what Abuela gives Carmen: inclusion, and respect.
— Emma
I just finished this story
And it was well worth the read. And they have me read more stuff written by you. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you, Wendy!
I am so glad you enjoyed the story. Thank you for all of your kind comments; I’ve enjoyed following your progress and sort of reliving each chapter as you read it.
I think you’ve actually read a lot of my stories, but definitely check out my author’s page — I try to to make it easy for readers to find something that might interest them. A very happy new year to you!
— Emma